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You Say More Than You Think: Use the New Body Language to Get What You Want!, The 7-Day Plan

3.62  ·  Rating Details ·  548 Ratings  ·  73 Reviews
Now You’re Talking!
Do you want to be bulletproof at work, secure in your relationship, and content in your own skin? If so, it’s more important than ever to be aware of what your body is saying to the outside world. Unfortunately, most of what you’ve heard from other body language experts is wrong, and, as a result, your actions may be hurting, not helping, you.
With sass
Paperback, 240 pages
Published January 4th 2011 by Harmony (first published 2010)
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Richard Stephenson
Game. Changer. Definitely recommended - with one caveat (shared with the author). You MUST do the exercises. Much like Dale Carnegie stated in his book on effective speaking, you can read all of the books on language you can handle - not a lick of 'em will bring you to the level of proficiency you desire without doing the work. (okay, so I paraphrased...) Read all the books you want on lifting weights - if you never pick up a weight, then you'll not have a rippling, heaving bosom - sorry.

I hones
Aug 30, 2012 Clayton rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
I want to rate this 4 stars. I like the ideas and some of the content in the book but I found the execution to be poor. I thought the exercises were unrealistic expectations for someone to do in a short period of time. I really did not like starting the 'first day' of the 7 day journey with a story about a serial killer then ending with a set of exercises that were too much. It was at this point I stopped attempting to follow the '7 day' journey the book proposed and decided to read/re-read the ...more
Dec 28, 2012 Nick rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
An unintentionally funny book on mastering body language. This tome mixes some plain old-fashioned myths of body language and some genuinely new thinking. The combination is a little dangerous. After warning -- quite properly -- readers not to try to decode a specific gesture because it may have multiple meanings, the author goes on to teach readers to use specific gestures -- as if their meanings were consistent (and useful) in all settings! I'm sorry, but you can't have it both ways. It's not ...more
Feb 18, 2011 Vanessa rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Sometimes I'll put RANDOM books on my library hold list after seeing something about them in a monthly newsletter. This was one of them. Sooo not my style (MUCH too self-helpy) and I just skimmed most of it. If you're interested in that type of thing, there were a couple helpful hints about projecting confidence and some tricks about reading body language. I'll just tell you so you don't have to read it: confident people don't cover vulnerable parts of their body (face, neck, crotch) with their ...more
So...a pre-review? Does that count? I do think that we communicate non-verbally much more than we think, or perhaps are aware of. What drew me to this book is what others have said--that the author goes out of her way to say that these aren't hard & fast rules--that some folk may naturally 'hug' themselves or cross their arms--and it doesn't by default mean anything negative--it's just their 'norm.' I'm curious to see how I feel about this book & its content after I've finished reading i ...more
Jan 26, 2013 Snapee rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
It was what I call a 'rough diamond'. It's full of great ideas, but the execution is indeed hurried and rather poor.

The basic idea (change your life by changing your body language)
has potential, but I have a feeling that the writer just wanted to make a quick buck and didn't put a lot of effort in it.
It seems like a book that was written in a month or so.

That said, this book was indeed full of great ideas, concepts and useful information on body language.
Gwendoline Van
Nov 19, 2013 Gwendoline Van rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
We just moved to a new city, so I thought I'd read about getting off on the right foot. Literally.

What a gem this book is! Janine talks you through 8 core components of new body language, dispelling some of the old standbys of smiling, handshakes, the figure-4 power seat, and more. She talks about the three most vulnerable centers of the body -- throat, belly button, naughty bits -- and shows how, covered or uncovered, they subconsciously direct a situation and portray you as confident, anxious
H Hamid
Found this book to be a big sales pitch; it was a staggering generalization and "cast the net too wide". Driver's extensive personal experience in her career in the States & individual case studies (legitimate in their own right) are blanket-applied to anyone reading the book.

I don't respond very well to "7 days to change your life & get you everything you ever wanted!", so my note to self early on in the book was realizing I was reading it with an eye of skepticism & critique. I'm
Louis Guevara
The book in the beginning does a great job with getting the individual motivated to begin the 7-Day Plan. Now, the 7-Day plan itself is a problem because there is only so much free time an individual could devote to the exercises suggested to perform by the author. I followed the plan for about 3-days. After that I realized I could no longer follow it because most of it you could practice at your workplace, daily interactions, and social nights. I would have to agree with many of the other revie ...more
Jun 25, 2016 Charmin rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: growth
1. Learn to trust your instincts.
2. You can see how they really think and how they really react, so you can adjust your body language to their unconscious preferences.
3. Pay attention to changes in a person’s normal behavior (baseline).
4. Gestures must match his words. When they are mismatched, comprehension as a whole suffers.
Baseline: study target in a stress-free, low-key environment for 2-10 minutes first. Probing Point is when the person departs from baseline behavior.
5. True
Tony Vynckier
Are you aware of the power of your body language ?

What if you could optimize your body language to create more confidence and increase your perceived value ?

If terms like : mastering navel intelligence, working your naughty bits, moving to the right side, the superman pose and the use of power gestures, don’t ring a bell, high time to read ‘You say more than you think’ by Janine Driver.

True, this book is not the full bible on body language but it will give you the basics to get you started.
Sean Goh
Basically the NEW body language asserts that body language is not a key to mind-reading, and that there is a need for a balance to be struck between appearing arrogant and assertive.

Rapport building hinges upon exposure of the vulnerable regions (neck, belly button, groin (the author insists on using 'bits' when referring to the groin, which seems weirdly immature. Call a spade a spade.)

Breaking rapport can be purposefully done in order to elicit discomfort and draw confessions (think police int
Mar 28, 2013 Jessica rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: read-in-2013
I found that this book provided some great tips for recognizing body language cues. There are some things that are relatively easy to put into use right away, and other things that would take a lot of practice to really master. But I think the ability to follow the "7-Day Plan" that the book talks about would be very challenging for most people. It seemed like it would require a lot of work and a lot of time to really complete everything that is outlined. Obviously, I didn't do it. However, just ...more
A quick and easy read with interesting and thought-provoking ideas and tips that are fairly simple to implement.

The repeated references to "naughty bits" drove me nuts. Why can't an adult who is willing to drop the f-bomb multiple times in a page (totally inappropriate, quote or not) and other colorful terms find at more professional term?? this book couldn't decide whether it was a serious leadership development book, a "how to get a guy/girl" book, a preachy self-help book or a brag-rag for a
Jul 30, 2011 Ron rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Better than most of the books I've read on the subject because it is the one best able to support behavior change. The material is covered in seven chapters with exercises to be completed on seven days, so that you can begin to look for and learn each aspect of body language one day at a time. It also does a good job focusing on both reading and performing. And it makes the important point that no one move necessarily means anything. Context matters, people behave differently, we can't read mind ...more
Feb 17, 2011 Terri rated it liked it
I'm always interested in first-hand accounts of law-enforcement techniques, and yet, always suspicious of claims of complete confessions from hardened criminals - especially when those claims are based on having good body language! Is it really a matter of "facing navels" to make people tell me everything they know?! I haven't tried out any of the techniques in the book, so I can't speak to how well they work, but this book is a fascinating read just for the anecdotes from the author's law enfor ...more
Mar 06, 2010 Mary rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Although not a page turner I found this book to be very interesting and fascinating. I was not dedicated enought to do the homework assignments as outlined by the author although I have no doubt that it would make the reading even better and the person better at using body language if they were to engage in these activities. I have found myself looking at people in a different way when they talk to me and examining things I had often overlooked. If this topic is your thing, I really liked this b ...more
Feb 07, 2016 Laura rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: nonfiction
Pretty interesting stuff that can be useful in lots of situations, both in terms of the image you are projecting to the world and how well you are interpreting what is going on with other people. Emphasis on baselining behavior makes a lot of sense, since you can't really know what any one gesture might mean from someone if you don't know how they normally act. Also looking for clusters of body language, not just one isolated behavior. I found this to be pretty fascinating, really.
Margot Note
From a testimonial by someone helped by the author: "I learned that being shy is selfish in a way, because you are expecting others to do the work that you should be doing" (38). So true!

Once you know what to look for, you can see what people are really feeling. I've also improved my own body language to get what I want. A bonus: the most mundane gatherings are fascinating now because I'm reading the room!
Jun 20, 2014 Kris rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Definitely a book that requires some work and effort beyond reading. Lots more to be gained from the exercises. So ideally read at a good pace, but take breaks for exercises, and then move on. I made the mistake of plowing through and only doing a small set of the exercises. While still good this way, I think there's a lot more value in treating it more as a study manual. Still, even without a lot of practice, there are some quick interesting insights to be gained.
Yeah. It was OK. It certainly made me more aware of the kinds of body language I favor (as well as the potential signals that body language might send). I did appreciate the section on the role of questions in conversations and listening. I'll be interested to hear what the rest of the members of our Get Smart! Book Discussion have to say.
Jun 02, 2013 R rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
This book contains a wealth of useful information on reading body language (others' and your own) and adjusting encounters to your advantage. While useful, this level of interpersonal manipulation is distasteful to me, and the author failed to convince me otherwise. On the other hand, if that's what you're looking for, this is a pretty good option.
Brett Chapin
Jul 09, 2011 Brett Chapin rated it really liked it
A great book for simple and quick adjustments you can make to direct a conversation in a more pleasant path. This book can help a lot of people with building friendships or relationships and strengthen their rapport. But the one thing I think everyone should read this book for is above all other factors this book can help boost your self-confidence!
Clever, insightful and useful. There are many applicable strategies here but the exercises are ridiculously infeasible and have no regard for the readers' finance nor TIME. Really who got all that free time to achieve all these unendurable exercises! So, I skipped all the exercises and focused more on the content of the book which is a game changer. Highly recommended.
Apr 06, 2012 Alicia rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Alicia by: Melynda
This was also a 2.5-star book. I'm not a big self-help fan, but a friend loaned me a stack of self-help books she enjoyed so I've been trying to get through them. I didn't do all the "exercises" in this book, but I enjoyed the author's tips on body language (especially when she used examples of the importance of body language and facial expression when talking with an uncooperative teenager).
Jennifer Daniel
Useless! The main concept of this book was you can't apply blanket statements regarding body language because everyone is different. Really? What at shocker! And the author kept using the term "naughty bits". I am not in 3rd grade. Groin or pelvis or even genitals would have been preferable. That's not usually the part of the body I'm "reading" anyways. This woman was obsessed!
Jan 24, 2013 Mark rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Our Worthington Library book-club read this. Fifteen of us met to discuss and found it to create a lot of meaningful and inciteful dialog. Shows that much of what we think we already know about body language is 'myth'. A pragmatic book about evaluating your own and other's body language and how to go about using that information to your advantage.
Scott Hayden
Jan 16, 2014 Scott Hayden rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Scott by: Jamestoffee
Shelves: psychology
Good awareness raiser. I probably have been sending body language messages different from what comes from my mouth. For example, I use a lot of palms down gestures, which shows close-mindedness, when I really want to invite dialog.

You get more out of this book if you actually do the exercises. And even more from it if you talk with others about it.
Marcus Calvin
Jul 15, 2014 Marcus Calvin rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is very good, love how applicable this is to everyday life! Its been awhile since I read this book, however, I use the concepts in this book to understand how people are truly feeling or being when they don't want to say. Really works on empathy, confidence, and breaking down a person's habits so that you can better communicate. Marvelous
Aug 18, 2010 Darren rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Received this book free from the Wendy Williams Show.
It was interesting to get some new ideas on body language. I don't think I'll really commit anything to memory though. It was something to read while I was in between books.
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