false http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1178891762m/849380.jpg 849380 9 According to most relationship books, the key to a solid marriage is communication, communication, communication. Phooey, says John Gottman, Ph.D., author of the much-lauded <I>Why Marriages Succeed or Fail</I>. There's much more to a solid, "emotionally intelligent" marriage than sharing every feeling and thought, he points out--though most couples therapists ineffectively (and expensively) harp on these concepts. <p> Gottman, the director of the Gottman Institute, has found through studying hundreds of couples in his "love lab" that it only takes five minutes for him to predict--with 91 percent accuracy--which couples will eventually divorce. He shares the four not-so-obvious signs of a troubled relationship that he looks for, using sometimes amusing passages from his sessions with married couples. (One standout is Rory, the pediatrician who didn't know the name of the family dog because he spent so much time at work.) <p> Gottman debunks many myths about divorce (primary among them that affairs are at the root of most splits). He also reveals surprising facts about couples who stay together. They <I>do</I> engage in screaming matches. And they certainly don't resolve every problem. "Take Allan and Betty," he writes. "When Allan gets annoyed at Betty, he turns on ESPN. When Betty is upset with him, she heads for the mall. Then they regroup and go on as if nothing's happened. Never in forty-five years of marriage have they sat down to have a 'dialogue' about their relationship." While this may sound like a couple in trouble, Gottman found that they pass the love-lab tests and say honestly that "they are both very satisfied with their relationship and they love each other deeply."<p> Through a series of in-depth quizzes, checklists, and exercises, similar to the ones he uses in his workshops, Gottman provides the framework for coping with differences and strengthening your marriage. His profiles of troubled couples rescued from the brink of divorce (including that of Rory, the out-of-touch doctor) and those of still-happy couples who reinvigorate their relationships are equally enlightening. <I>--Erica Jorgensen</I> 4370 16 5 1999 The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert total:531|5:194|4:228|3:96|2:11|1:2| 531 2194 886 167 4 3 false false Tue Sep 16 08:51:26 -0700 2008 Tue Sep 16 08:52:38 -0700 2008 more...]]> 5 1 false false Sun Jan 01 00:00:00 -0800 2006 Fri Mar 07 18:37:18 -0800 2008 Fri Mar 07 18:44:23 -0800 2008 more...]]> 4 1 false false Fri Aug 29 08:30:14 -0700 2008 Fri Aug 29 08:37:46 -0700 2008 more...]]> 2 0 false false Sat Mar 14 00:00:00 -0700 2009 Fri Mar 13 21:44:20 -0700 2009 Fri Mar 13 22:20:26 -0700 2009
This book can be pretty cheesey a lot of the time, but it contains lots of exercises, is easy to read, and is based on principles and evidence that is highly regarded in the field ...more...]]> 5 1 false false Sun Jun 21 00:00:00 -0700 2009 Sun Jun 21 10:27:58 -0700 2009 Sun Jun 21 10:30:48 -0700 2009 more...]]> 5 1 false false Wed Mar 12 00:00:00 -0700 2008 Thu Jan 31 21:28:03 -0800 2008 Thu Mar 13 19:01:57 -0700 2008 more...]]> 5 1 false false Mon Nov 03 07:08:51 -0800 2008 Mon Nov 03 07:15:10 -0800 2008 4 0 false false Sun Apr 12 00:00:00 -0700 2009 Fri Apr 10 09:10:14 -0700 2009 Thu Apr 16 09:33:21 -0700 2009
W...more...]]> 5 0 false false Fri Aug 21 00:00:00 -0700 2009 Fri Aug 21 14:17:06 -0700 2009 Mon Aug 31 15:24:12 -0700 2009 more...]]> 5 1 false false Wed Jul 01 00:00:00 -0700 2009 Sun Oct 25 14:57:32 -0700 2009 Sun Oct 25 15:50:51 -0700 2009
For me, it illuminated a repeated conflict in my marriage so that I finally understood what was wrong with what I'd been doing.

Also, we both lov...more...]]> 5 0 false false Sun Apr 05 19:06:10 -0700 2009 Sun Apr 05 19:12:59 -0700 2009 more...]]> 4 0 false false Mon Mar 02 18:26:14 -0800 2009 Mon Mar 02 18:36:23 -0800 2009 more...]]> 3 0 false false Fri Aug 15 00:00:00 -0700 2008 Wed Jun 04 11:52:22 -0700 2008 Wed Sep 03 10:44:43 -0700 2008
Overall, one of the better books I've seen on fostering a happy marriage. A very useful read for any couple seeking ...more...]]> 5 0 false false Tue Apr 01 00:00:00 -0700 2008 Wed Apr 16 22:59:14 -0700 2008 Fri Apr 25 22:58:36 -0700 2008 more...]]> 0 0 false false Tue Oct 23 06:07:32 -0700 2007 Wed Nov 14 00:59:01 -0800 2007 more...]]> 4 0 false false Tue Sep 02 00:00:00 -0700 2008 Thu Jun 19 14:41:22 -0700 2008 Tue Sep 02 22:44:25 -0700 2008
This book had some wonderful suggestions that could help every marriage. I really enjoy the beginning where the author talks about the, "Love Lab." And dispells a lot of myths about marriage and marriage therapy an...more...]]> 4 0 false false Wed Dec 03 00:00:00 -0800 2008 Sat Dec 13 17:23:32 -0800 2008 Sat Dec 13 17:26:11 -0800 2008
This is a must read. If anyone is ever going to get married, he/she should be required to read this book and meet with a group to discuss it. It absolutely floored me how early...more...]]> 4 0 false false Sun Aug 23 00:00:00 -0700 2009 Sun Aug 23 15:41:49 -0700 2009 Sun Aug 23 15:42:20 -0700 2009 more...]]> 5 0 false false Sat May 10 17:41:07 -0700 2008 Sat May 10 17:48:56 -0700 2008
While none of his "principles"...more...]]> 5 0 false false Mon Jan 01 00:00:00 -0800 2001 Sun Sep 20 19:25:07 -0700 2009 Sun Sep 20 19:29:41 -0700 2009 more...]]> http://www.goodreads.com/book_link/follow/8?book_id=849380