Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.
Start by marking “The Children You Want with the Kids You Have” as Want to Read:
The Children You Want with the Kids You Have
Enlarge cover
Rate this book
Clear rating
Open Preview

The Children You Want with the Kids You Have

3.38  ·  Rating Details  ·  64 Ratings  ·  34 Reviews
Parenting is a show-and-tell adventure, particularly when it comes to teaching important life skills such as working together, finishing chores, completing homework, and taking care of personal hygiene and possessions. But how much should a child be required to do at what age? How much supervision is necessary? What do you do with a child who is a chronic slacker? Sharing ...more
Paperback, 207 pages
Published January 1st 2010 by Deseret Book
More Details... edit details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Reader Q&A

To ask other readers questions about The Children You Want with the Kids You Have, please sign up.

Be the first to ask a question about The Children You Want with the Kids You Have

This book is not yet featured on Listopia. Add this book to your favorite list »

Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 147)
filter  |  sort: default (?)  |  Rating Details
She started losing me when she suggested that you teach kids obedience by playing a game where you call your kids over to you and give them a treat every time they came the first time you called. She then suggests you moved progressively further away and continue calling them and giving them treats when they come the first time. Dog training anyone?

I do think her lists and organization tips are helpful. However, they are not always completely realistic. I also felt that the dialogue examples sh
Oct 16, 2014 Stephanie rated it it was amazing
"Being a parent is a very difficult occupation. somehow, it seems you are always working with family members who are one step ahead of you and who are more determined than you are. but if you have rules, standards, and some routine to this season of your life, you should also have a set way of handling situations when the chores have been left undone because the family member is away, the teenager wants to play first and then work, and the younger children poke and pull at your indecisiveness un ...more
Feb 21, 2011 Mommywest rated it really liked it
Great resource for parents. Would be especially great for someone with really young children to start out with, but even though I have a few more years under my belt, I found some great suggestions. This is the book I wish I had when I had my first child. It shows you how to prepare to teach your children the things they need to know, how to teach them, and how to get them to the point of independence, divided by age groups. (Ages 2-6 is a time to teach and love, 6-12 to train and support, and 1 ...more
Jan 25, 2012 Leslie rated it really liked it
Shelves: nonfiction, parenting
I actually really liked this book . . . probably one of my favorite parenting books so far. A lot of people felt overwhelmed by it, but maybe because they had older kids than I do? I feel like because my kids are so young, it wouldn't be as hard to introduce new methods or routines into our lives. Organization is super important to me, and I realize that it takes a somewhat organized mom to teach her children everything that a mother should be teaching children: obedience, respect, honesty, hard ...more
Aug 30, 2010 Jennefer rated it liked it
This is about teaching kids to work. I like a lot of her ideas. A lot of it is just common sense and some of it is a little too "Stepford" for me (her ideas for what to say in certain situations are very scripted and wouldn't necessarily transfer over to real life). Overall, I liked this book and will definitely implement some things I learned. I especially like her idea that it's is necessary to teach our children not just to work, but work hard. She stresses doing this from the youngest age po ...more
Oct 31, 2010 travelgirlut rated it did not like it
Shelves: unfinished
I just couldn't get into this book. I scanned about half of it trying to find something I felt I could use with my kids, and none of it seemed to apply. She talks about the difference between training and teaching and says we should train out kids to do chores and teach our kids morals. But when talking about chores, her methods are what I would call teaching - tell, show, let them try, correct - and when talking about morals it was very much what I would call training - have kids sit across the ...more
Oct 13, 2010 Christina rated it really liked it
Very detailed and interesting look at teaching children how to work and be responsible without sounding impossible to do with ordinary kids (you know there's those books that seem to assume you have wonderful, cooperative children who always do as you suggest -- this isn't one of them). I thought her ideas for teaching chores during the summer and having a few responsibilities during the school year were very interesting. She also has some great suggestions for making cards for each job, on one ...more
Oct 17, 2011 Leslie rated it liked it
I liked this approach to parenting and encouraging children to work and share the load. As with many parenting books, I felt that some of the suggestions would work well with our family and our personalities. While some suggestions would not be appropriate for our family. Most of the book discussed a very specific method for organizing the family to participate in housework. The last quarter of the book I felt was not as helpful and was less interested in those last chapters.
Mar 20, 2011 Susie rated it liked it
Great ideas for creating a house of order by training your children while they are young. That is, if you want a house of order. At all costs. Good book, but only as a supplement to other substantive parenting books. If you focus merely on teaching responsibility, you might have all your ducks in a row, but you run the risk of skipping out on a few, arguably more important lessons. Balance is the key, as always.
May 19, 2011 Kristin rated it did not like it
Shelves: parenting
I wanted to like this book, but when I read the section on teaching obedience it sounded so similar to dog training that I realized our parenting methods and values were just not a good fit! The chapter on teaching gratitude was good. The organization checklists might end up being helpful. I think we all want self-reliant, respectful, polite, and independent children. But overall, I didn't like the author's tone.
Aug 06, 2010 Tenille rated it liked it
Shelves: lds-books
I enjoyed this, and in some ways it helped me. It has many good tips and ideas about training your children to work, do jobs and become self reliant. I would have rated it higher, but it showed me that I have alot of work left to do to train my kids that well, and that made me not like it so much ;). I have already given them a little more responsibility! I did learn alot from it!!
Elesa Hagberg
May 19, 2012 Elesa Hagberg rated it really liked it
This book is basically about teaching your kids to work. Or about how teaching your kids to work will positively impact their whole lives. And what not. Lots of good and useful stuff inside. I only hope I am good enough to implement them all. I seriously doubt it. But I'm going to keep this book on my desk as a reference until my kids all move out of the house.
Dec 14, 2012 Heather rated it really liked it
This book is chock full of great information to help teach your children to work. It teaches them to be the best, hardest, and most diligent at anything they may be faced with. I have gleaned many tips for myself too. Worth the time to read it over. Everyone can find something that can help them gain happier, more confident, and independent children.
Rebecca Young
Nov 06, 2010 Rebecca Young rated it liked it
I didn't get to read every page of this book (it was due at the library and I just hadn't had lots of reading time). But all that I did read, I really liked. Very straight-forward advice about training and teaching children and the reasons we NEED to train our children to be hard workers and to have the skills necessary to be successful adults!
Jul 20, 2012 Melissa rated it really liked it
this book has GREAT recommendation on helping your parent your children in small day to day issues. Get ideas on responsibly, respect, self reliance.. and for all age of children. I haven't even finish it because because it has so many wonderful ideas I'm having to slowly introduce so many new things to our family.
Jul 10, 2010 Celeste rated it really liked it
It's a could book to encourage you to be more consistent and help expect realistic results from children. It gives examples and games plans to discourage choas. The chapters are set up in in age groups such as preschoolers should do x, this age group should and can do X. I really recommend this book.
Mar 22, 2012 Jill rated it liked it
I use all the help I can get in gathering new ideas and tactics and perspectives to train me in how to train my children how to improve and develop worthwhile skills, attributes and habits.
This had some great ideas. I won't use everything here exactly as written but I will definitely use the principles.
Jan 24, 2013 Lisa rated it liked it
Wow. This is WAY beyond my level of managing housework. I do like the concepts and have already started implementing some of them in my home, but I value flexibility too much to commit to and follow through with anything this rigid. If I ran my house this way, I would run away from home.
Oct 06, 2011 Becky rated it liked it
A lot of the ideas in this book would NOT work with my kids. However, a few ideas I can take a tweak and they just might. I think I came away with the idea that I can be a better role model to my kids and being a better teacher when it comes to doing things around the home.
Aug 04, 2010 Mandy rated it really liked it
Great parenting book about teaching your kids how to work and be independent. You have to be an organized person, or want to be an organized person to go with this method. It all seems logical to me and her theories are great. I will definitely be putting this into practice.
Apr 08, 2011 Shauna added it
What a great book to help us raise independent children! The tips, charts, and check-off lists are really cool. I really liked the chapter "Teach Them to Feel Grateful". Thanks Marie for this awesome book!
Shauna from
Nov 10, 2010 Alissa rated it liked it
Shelves: parenting
I was expecting a bit more from this book. It is a very BASIC approach to organization and teaching your children. I felt like the book was written to further promote her website It's a fast, easy read though.
Sep 05, 2012 Marci rated it did not like it
Soooo I may or may not have stopped reading this book - it was just too boring. So I apologize for the low rating but I was just not in the mood I suppose. Maybe we'll try again another day.
Mar 21, 2011 Sesika rated it really liked it
I'm always looking for ways to be a more efficient parent. This book has some wonderful techniques I'm trying to implement with my children regarding chores, homework, organization etc.
Susie Carson
Dec 16, 2010 Susie Carson rated it it was ok
I think it is just her writing style that turned me off. She actually had some really good ideas. A similar book that I liked a lot more was The Parenting Breakthrough by Merrilee Boyack.
Jan 03, 2011 Marjanne rated it liked it
Some good ideas and information. Some of what the author suggests seems a bit overwhelming and I'm not sure I agree with everything. However there are some ideas I'd like to try.
Feb 02, 2011 NaDell rated it really liked it
I own this book if you want to borrow it. (I won it on a blog giveaway.)
I liked the ideas of how to teach your children to work and enjoy it.
Kathleen Kirby Vallejo
Sep 02, 2011 Kathleen Kirby Vallejo rated it really liked it
A book I wish I'd read a long time ago lol. Sounds like it will really work, now to see if putting it into practice is as easy as it sounds lol.
Jan 08, 2011 Holly rated it liked it
Shelves: didn-t-finish
You can't teach your children until you change yourself. I have a lot to work on before I even get to the teaching section of this book!
Jun 07, 2011 Linda rated it liked it
to see full review go here
« previous 1 3 4 5 next »
There are no discussion topics on this book yet. Be the first to start one »

Share This Book