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An Exclusive Love: A Memoir
A renowned cultural journalist delivers an extraordinary account of her grandparents by reconstructing, hour by hour, the day of their suicide.
Johanna Adorján's grandparents were unconventionally elegant and endlessly exotic; they survived the Holocaust, fled Budapest during the uprising of 1956, and lived a glamorous and mysterious life in Denmark—their pasts never discu...more
Johanna Adorján's grandparents were unconventionally elegant and endlessly exotic; they survived the Holocaust, fled Budapest during the uprising of 1956, and lived a glamorous and mysterious life in Denmark—their pasts never discu...more
Hardcover, 192 pages
Published
January 31st 2011
by W. W. Norton & Company
(first published January 1st 1900)
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“Scritto con l’infinita grazia del dolore che ha trovato pace.” (Le Monde)
Mai definizione fu più vera per descrivere questo libro. Vera e Istvàn si sono amati tutta la vita e insieme hanno deciso di dire addio alla vita, hanno scelto di morire insieme per non dover vivere una senza l’altro. Si tratta di una storia vera, accaduta nel 1991, ricostruita dalla nipote diversi anni dopo la loro morte. Attraverso le testimonianze di amici e parenti, Joanna ricostruisce i momenti salienti della vita dei...more
Mai definizione fu più vera per descrivere questo libro. Vera e Istvàn si sono amati tutta la vita e insieme hanno deciso di dire addio alla vita, hanno scelto di morire insieme per non dover vivere una senza l’altro. Si tratta di una storia vera, accaduta nel 1991, ricostruita dalla nipote diversi anni dopo la loro morte. Attraverso le testimonianze di amici e parenti, Joanna ricostruisce i momenti salienti della vita dei...more
Sep 17, 2012
Daisy
rated it
5 of 5 stars
Shelves:
hungary,
denmark,
eastern-europe,
memoir-bio,
out-of-towners,
ww2,
east-bloc-memoir,
austria,
israel,
germany,
france,
favorites-2nd-place
What an exercise in coming to terms (maybe) with the unanswered questions left behind after suicide. And what a stunning, concise story of the author's paternal grandparents' lives, of what they meant to each other, what they meant to her and to family and friends. In spare prose, it's almost a novella. I kept pretending it was fiction until somewhere she refers to her own last name and how it was altered to sound less Jewish, more Hungarian.
Adorján's writing is unsentimental even about potenti...more
Adorján's writing is unsentimental even about potenti...more
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it,
click here.
In October of 1991, an elderly couple, one healthy and the other not, deliberately and carefully took their own lives in Denmark. They were aided by an American book called Final Exit. They took their dog to a neighbor’s, saying they were going away for the weekend, tidied the house, settled accounts, and left small gifts for family members. Hungarian Jews, the couple had survived the Holocaust—Istvan was imprisoned in concentration camps but Vera managed to evade arrest. Later they had to manag...more
I understand the title but also think it makes the book appear to be a romance novel, which it is in the sense it’s about love, but not in the sense of Romance Novel. It’s a memoir by the granddaughter of a couple who committed suicide together when the husband got fatally ill. The couple—Pista and Vera-- married just before WWII and were Jewish. She, writer/granddaughter, tells their story through her story of interviews with people who knew them and her memories of them; she interweaves that w...more
An Exclusive Love: A Memoir by Johanna Adorján tells the story of her grandparents, Hungarian Jews who survived the Holocaust, escaped Budapest during the 1956 uprising against the Communist regime, and died together in a joint suicide in Copenhagen in 1991. Her grandfather was 82 and dying, while her grandmother was 71 and in perfect health, but they could not live without each other so when it became clear his time was almost over they swallowed sleeping pills and fell asleep in bed, holding h...more
Apr 17, 2012
Doreen
rated it
3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
therapists, medical doctors, general public
Recommended to Doreen by:
saw it at the library
Shelves:
holocaust-wwii-stories
An Exclusive Love is a tender story of the author's grandparents' suicide pact. It's not morbid. It's simply a tender tale of love. Her grandmother chooses to die with her ailing husband, than live without him. Whether or not it's a mentally healthy choice is left to the readers' own feelings on marriage/death/suicide. The decision was made based on her grandmother's unwillingness to be 'alone'. For some, the loss of a spouse does not mean the end of the survivor's life. There are children, gran...more
I really enjoyed this book. I read this for my English class in college and I thought Adorjan writes really well. Instead of chapters there's moments where. The two parallel stories that she is writing really comes nicely in the end. How she ends the book was a surprising turn, but I don't think that it could have ended any better, to be honest. As I read it I began to think on whether Johanna was writing for her readers or more for herself. She brings up an interesting question when I finally f...more
This is one of the most poignantt books I’ve ever read, and it’s intensely thought-provoking. It’s also another example of Text Publishing having the courage to generate debate about contentious issues…
An Exclusive Love is a memoir of the author’s grandparents, Hungarian Jews who took their own lives in Copenhagen in 1991. He was 82, and dying; she was only 71, and in good health. Together they had survived the horrors of the Holocaust, and escaped Budapest during the 1956 uprising against the o...more
An Exclusive Love is a memoir of the author’s grandparents, Hungarian Jews who took their own lives in Copenhagen in 1991. He was 82, and dying; she was only 71, and in good health. Together they had survived the horrors of the Holocaust, and escaped Budapest during the 1956 uprising against the o...more
Feb 18, 2011
Tasha-Lynn
rated it
4 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
read-2011,
general-nonfiction-bio-nature-scien
I received this book as an advanced reading copy and was told that it was a beautiful, heartbreaking story. And that it is. I started off thinking it was a holocaust story, but its so much more than that. The first chapter starts; "On 14 October 1991 my grandparents killed themselves", and it instantly captured my attention. From there the story jumps from present day, into past, and to the sad day of the event. Its a story of a love that suffers thru one of the worst events in history, and havi...more
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it,
click here.
I was expecting so much more from this book. I feel like the author strung me along, hoping to see even a glimpse of her grandparents' lives, but was very disappointed. All of her interviews revealed little, her insights were generic, and I wasn't interested at all in her personal story that she tried to interweave with her grandparents' lives. I think the choice her grandparents' made was solid. The grandfather was terminal and his wife chose to end her life with him. They were in their late 80...more
A poignant memoir, though more biographical in nature as Adorjan is piecing together the story of her grandparents and their suicide pact. Adorjan has a simple yet detailed writing style which helped me to clearly picture her grandparents and their home as well as the many friends and family she sought in trying to recreate their story. Though not overly sentimental in nature,a touching scene comes from a seemingly objective and sterile police report in the end. The report details the descriptio...more
La categoría "libros con flashbacks al holocausto Nazi" siempre son difíciles de leer, no por el tema, sino porque es bastante fácil caer en la narración automática, el chantaje emocional y el mensaje politicoide que no necesariamente abona a la trama, o que peor aun, a veces se convierten en la excusa para una "trama" cuando en el fondo no hay tal.
Ésta última es la sensación con la que más o menos terminas sintiéndote luego de leer este libro.
El supuesto punto climático está desinflado, la narr...more
Ésta última es la sensación con la que más o menos terminas sintiéndote luego de leer este libro.
El supuesto punto climático está desinflado, la narr...more
I have had this book in my possession for about a month now, if not a little longer. I've been reading it all that time, off and on. All 185 pages of it.
It might seem odd that it took so long for me to read such a short book, but it was a difficult one to read. I was hesitant to write about it, but I decided to go ahead. Reading the book helped me to exorcise a few demons. Perhaps writing about it will let me let go of a few more.
The experience of reading Johanna Adorjan's memoir about her quest...more
It might seem odd that it took so long for me to read such a short book, but it was a difficult one to read. I was hesitant to write about it, but I decided to go ahead. Reading the book helped me to exorcise a few demons. Perhaps writing about it will let me let go of a few more.
The experience of reading Johanna Adorjan's memoir about her quest...more
I knew from the synopsis that this book would be emotional and reading the final section on Friday I teared up. Adorjan weaves together historical fact and personal speculation to form a cohesive picture of her grandparents' lives. The atrocities they lived through are astounding, but illuminate why a healthy woman would decided to die with her ailing husband. She cannot live without him. The last moment when they cling to each other so desperate not to be the last one breathing is heartbreaking...more
The author's grandparents, who had survived the Holocaust, killed themselves on the same day in 1991. This book is an exploration of her understanding of their lives as well as an imagination of what their last day on earth must have been like.
I enjoyed how imperfect everyone was even though you know that the end is this grand, romantic act that transcends what many people would call rationality. These people were matter-of-fact about their unwillingness to live without each other.
And while the...more
I enjoyed how imperfect everyone was even though you know that the end is this grand, romantic act that transcends what many people would call rationality. These people were matter-of-fact about their unwillingness to live without each other.
And while the...more
I probably give out five star ratings too often, but this is a well-deserved one. A mixture of fact and speculation, this book is an attempt to stitch together a narrative of the author's grandparents' double suicide, told in a clear prose (well done, translator!). That narrative is interspersed with the author's investigation (such as it is) into the event, as well as tangential (but never unnecessary) ruminations on opera, Hungarian and Jewish identity, online dating, and much more. It's possi...more
This book got into my heart and my head. Adorgan's grandparents committed suicide in October of 1991. This is their story. Some of it is based on fact. Some of it is based on the author's recreation of what her grandparents might have been doing and feeling and thinking on that, the last day of their lives. Coming from European parents my history is in many ways told in this book. Often there is something lost in the translation of books that travel from another language to English...but not in...more
I couldn't put this short, beautifully structured book down. It's a memoir--of the author's grandparents, who kill themselves together, a deliberate suicide predicated by the grandfather's illness and the grandmother's terror of living without him. They are refined, lovely, and utterly European intellectuals--and Adorjan does a beautiful job of recreating their last day from conjecture based on memory. As a writer, I was intrigued; as a person I was moved. And if it had gone on ten pags more, it...more
This book was well-written...but it felt to me like there was a whole lot missing...I think there is an immensely rich story surrounding this young author's grandparents who lived through the Holocaust and then took their own lives in old age, but through no fault of her own, their granddaughter simply does not know the details. She tried to portray her grandmother's personality, but there was so much left wanting. In that respect, this book was a little frustrating to read, but I give credit to...more
I found this book uneven. There were parts that were deeply affecting. But nowhere near enough to lift this book above the average. The author's late in life discovery of her Jewishness led no further than a couple of failed internet dates. That all seemed rather gratuitous. But it was the recreation of her grandparents final day that most jarred with me. It was just too detailed - going beyond what the author could possibly know or guess. On those occasions when she kept her imagination in chec...more
The only reason this is not rated higher is because there were parts I found uninteresting & therefore the pacing seemed to be less than ideal... I feel that the author didn't use very smooth transitions as she went from past to present... Then again, that could have to do with the language barrier and/or translator, rather than her. This is the first memoir-esque account I have read regarding someone using Final Exit to end their lives (Aside from the author himself)...
I frequently find...more
I frequently find...more
An Exclusive Love by Johanna Adorján
“On 13 October 1991 my grandparents killed themselves,” the first sentence of An Exclusive Love, a memoir by Johanna Adorján grabs the reader and does not let go until the end. Reported without emotion - but not without beauty - as a news reporter does best, (Adorján is a cultural journalist), the reader immediately knows the ending but not the infinitesimal details, so worth paying attention to, of the path that leads one there.
Shocking to the reader, still...more
“On 13 October 1991 my grandparents killed themselves,” the first sentence of An Exclusive Love, a memoir by Johanna Adorján grabs the reader and does not let go until the end. Reported without emotion - but not without beauty - as a news reporter does best, (Adorján is a cultural journalist), the reader immediately knows the ending but not the infinitesimal details, so worth paying attention to, of the path that leads one there.
Shocking to the reader, still...more
An interesting memoir, the story of the author's grandparents' lives after the Holocaust, interspersed with the tale of their suicide. The language was poetic, and even though it was translated, the dialect was retained, and gave a sense of not only place, but personality. The author wishes she knew more about her grandparents inner selves, and I was left with the same feeling, particularly the grandmother. Short, poignant without a bit of sappiness, a good peek into the private lives of two peo...more
It had so much potential to be interesting and compelling, but failed in both fronts for me. The grandmother was unlikable, just a big bully, at least the way she portrayed it, and the narrator seemed a bit vain, emphasizing a billion times how beautiful her grandmother was and then saying how people say she looks like her grandmother, especially when she is angry (another point to show how the grandma was unpleasant), and how she aspires to be like her grandmother, at least how she looks. The o...more
While the author's attempt to create an understanding of her grandparent's suicide through an exploration of their past is touching at times (and a fairly quick read), you can't help but feeling somewhat empty after reading this pseudo-fictionalized memoir. Was hoping the story would have some redeeming value (or at least make me "purposely sad"), but the author's failed attempt to romanticize the suicide makes the whole thing fall flat. Avoid, unless feeling self-punishing.
What would it take for a married couple to make a suicide pact...to go down together. Vera and Istvan decided to do it, out of fear or loyalty, maybe both. Istvan is a doctor who has become ill, and only has about six more months to live. Vera does not want to be alone or a burden to anyone. They cover the rose bushes, and make sure the dog is safe with a friend, and so, one Ocotber day, everything is ready. (the author is the couple's grandaughter) Beautifully written.
I just finished reading this book this afternoon (a gift for my birthday).
First line of the book: "On 13 October 1991 my grandparents killed themselves". (powerful --grabs your attention 'fast').
Hungarian Jewish Married couple (both survived the Holocaust) --are found dead --in bed --holding hands.
The granddaughter, (author), Jonanna Adorjan, tells this sensitive story--a mix of fact and fiction. (translated by Anthea Bell).
Deeply affecting!
elyse
First line of the book: "On 13 October 1991 my grandparents killed themselves". (powerful --grabs your attention 'fast').
Hungarian Jewish Married couple (both survived the Holocaust) --are found dead --in bed --holding hands.
The granddaughter, (author), Jonanna Adorjan, tells this sensitive story--a mix of fact and fiction. (translated by Anthea Bell).
Deeply affecting!
elyse
I am astonished by the power of this memoir. It begins with the simply stated fact that an older couple killed themselves. Their granddaughter begins a search to undestand why they chose to die, and imagining what they did on their last day of life. Her slow investigation of thier experience as Jews in Nazi germany, their life later in Communist Hingary,and their finally settling in Denmark is quiet and objective. And yet, the momentum she builds is unnerving.
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Mar 19, 2012 12:07pm