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The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
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The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate

4.2 of 5 stars 4.20  ·  rating details  ·  134,119 ratings  ·  5,594 reviews
A New York Times BestsellerA CBA Bestseller Relationships are the most complicated and most important part of a person's life. Truly connecting with a loved one comes down to one simple fact: You need to know and speak his or her love language. A love language is the way we express our devotion and commitment, and it can be learned or changed to touch the heart of our part ...more
Paperback, Large Print, 274 pages
Published September 1st 2005 by Christian Large Print (first published 1992)
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Melani Smith I believe it is worth it. I am half way through it and I enjoy it!
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Msmeemee
Oct 29, 2007 Msmeemee rated it 2 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: suckers
Shelves: psychology
this book is a tool through which the author, gary chapman, can play out his jesus-complex disguised as a relationship self-help book. there are references from the bible throughout almost every chapter and gary likes to include generous praise from his clients who call him a "miracle worker." it's damn-near pretty close to being called god.

the book has all the hallmarks of a bestseller: easy to read (i read it in one day); hopeless circumstances that seem beyond repair; and an uplifiting ending
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Malbadeen
Mar 26, 2013 Malbadeen rated it 2 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: the relationaly obtuse.
This book is based on the premise that everyone has a "love language". Things others say or do that make one feel "loved",they are follows:


-words of affirmation.
-recieving gifts.
-acts of service.
-physical touch.
-quality time.

Personally I want you to tell me how great I am (words of affirmation) while walking in the house with a collection of poetry for me (receiving gifts), make a beeline for the trash that needs to be taken out (acts of service), then come back in and read quietly next to me (q
...more
Catherine
This book was recommended to my friend by her pastor to read before she got married. My assumption was that it would be religious in tone and not very relevant to today's relationships.
I'm so glad I was wrong! This is one of those books I would suggest everyone read. It is such a simple explanation of what can so often go wrong in relationships. It's not about men vs. women, it's about the way people receive love.
The basis is there are 5 Love Languages (obviously). And if you speak a different
...more
Hildie
My mother in law gave me this book and I hesitated reading it because it sounds so cheesy (and just take a look at the cover--how dorky!) But I was stuck on vacation with nothing else to read so I reluctantly gave it a try. In a nutshell, this book has changed my life. Page after page I found myself wanting to yell, "yes! Thats exactly right!" If I could give this more than five stars, I would. Okay, maybe "changed my life" is a bit strong, but it has certainly enhanced my marriage like nothing ...more
Brittany
I think the basis for this self-help book is good. I totally get the "love languages" thing. My husband's "love language" is Physical Affection and mine is Quality Time. I totally see that. But this is like a "Love Language For Dummies." It talks to you like you're an idiot who has never had basic human social interaction before. And there isn't really any advice, just this guy rambling on about how smart he is for figuring out that people need to be loved in different ways. Like, his advice for ...more
Safaa Abdullah
من أروع و أهم الكتب التي قرأتها .
كتاب سهل وواضحة أفكاره جدًا ، ويتضمن الكثير من الأمثلة و التجارب الحقيقية ، والتي تقرب الأفكار بطريقة ممتازة .
هو كتاب مهم لكل شخص ، لأنه لا يقتصر على الحب بين الأزواج ، بل يمكن تطبيقه على الحب الإنساني بكل أنواعه و أشكاله .
أنصح الجميع بقراءته ، حتى لو لم يكونوا واقعين في الحب أو متزوجين .
Lachelle
Nov 29, 2007 Lachelle rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Anyone in a relationship
My dad actually recommended this book to me and I finally decided to check it out from the library. Although I think my husband and I have a good relationship - it was amazing how much I learned from this book! And how I realized that by understand how we communicate differently - it could strengthen our relationship. I would recommend this book to just about anyone! A lot of it seems common sense but it's a good reminder and an eye-opener to read it.
Ashley
I loved this book! Before reading I had considered the premise to be very basic, common-sense knowledge and didn't think the book would tell me anything I couldn't have figured out on my own. Five love languages, not everyone speaks the same love language....ok, well as long as you know what they are, shouldn't have to read the book, right? Wrong. Gary Chapman's years of marriage counseling have brought him invaluable insights that EVERYONE should be privy to. I'm not just talking married couple ...more
Joe Wisniewski
Everyone has "the" relationship book. This book will NOT automatically solve all relationship problems. People have to want to work on things; have to want to communicate needs and expectations. Having said that, I have not seen a better way to tie in to your significant other's point of view, then trying to understand how THEY need to have love expressed. But even more importantly, maybe, is looking at ourselves and seeing how we automatically expect others to "get" love the way that we need to ...more
Vilda
This was definitely an interesting read! I really like the idea of love languages, as well as different dialects for these since everyone is unique. There's probably a lot more to making a marriage work than just speaking each others love languages, but I'm sure doing that does help making each other feel loved.

"Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someon
...more
Nicky
This book looks cheesy as fuck from the outside, but it's full of practical, down-to-earth wisdom. If you are married (or thinking about getting married), divorced (or thinking about getting divorced), read this book.
Matthew Moes
The author says love is a choice. He says that the infatuation that people experience in the beginning of the relationship is not real love. It is something else. Real love takes work while the infatuation period is instinctual and effortless. But isn't it the stuff we dream of and wish would last forever? Can we really accept that we will only get that chance at the beginning of the relationship and that thereafter, in order to remain monogamous, we must accept that it is not for us to feel eve ...more
Samuel
I read this book in 2 days; it is a quick read that incorporates stories to illustrate human nature when it comes to expressing love--especially in marriage. It is brilliant not for its originality of ideas but rather in its categorization and clarity of ideas. In the words of John Lennon, "All you need is love." Love is the most important thing, and yet, many people have a truly hard time feeling loved and successfully expressing love to those who matter most to them. Why is this? Dr. Chapman t ...more
Amal


هذاالكتاب قام بالاجابة على كثير من الألغاز التي قد حيرتني في ما مضى..
لماذا يشعر شخص ما في عائلة ما أنه غير محبوب ؟؟
لماذا لا يستطيع بعض الأشخاص التعبير عن حبهم للآخرين ؟؟
لماذا يتوقف البعض في مرحلة من حياتهم عن حب بعضهم البعض ؟؟
لماذا لا يقدر الآخر ما أقوم به ؟؟

عندما تظن بأنك وصلت لمرحلة من الوعي تجعلك تفهم من حولك
يأتي مثل هذا الكتاب المضيء ليقول لك بأنك مازلت تتلمس طريقك في الظلمة
هذا كتاب يجعلك أكثر تسامحا مع البشرية و يجعلك كائنا ناضجا و واعيا و متفهما

لن أتحدث عن محتواه لأني سأظلمه أكتشفه بن
...more
Gaijinmama
Dec 19, 2014 Gaijinmama rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: anyone interested in understanding their spouse better
Recommended to Gaijinmama by: a friend whose opinion I trust
Shelves: self-help, nonfiction
The premise of this best-selling book is quite simple, but many of us haven't tried looking at our marriages this way. In short, people have their own, often unconscious way of expressing love and rarely do two spouses have the same "Love Language." This can cause trouble in a marriage because we may simply not understand the way in which our partner is expressing his or her love, even if s/he is trying really hard to express it and has NO idea we aren't getting it. In turn, s/he may not feel lo ...more
Jess
My mom got this book for me for our wedding, and I won't lie...it sat around for quite some time before I could put down my paranormal romance books and see what it was all about. I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised. It gave me a lot of insight about the inner workings of a relationship and that love, a feeling, is also a choice! Luckily I am one, who has a full tank...so it took me some time to decode what my love language truly is, but I'm glad for it! AND my husband even said he'd read ...more
Heather Murphy
Jun 17, 2015 Heather Murphy rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: ONLY to learn ways to express love
Recommended to Heather by: My mother-in-law
In the years since I originally read this book, my thoughts have often returned to it's content as I notice the preferences of others and I have found it helpful. So now in 2015, an updated review is glowing and I give it 4 stars instead of 3. However, below is my original review:

This is an entertaining, well-written book from the perspective of a therapist who shares interesting stories about his patients and their love problems and solutions.

This book has potential to help people better unders
...more
Ellyn
I would never have read this book on my own but was urged to read it after a debate with a friend of my roommate. It's written by a marriage counselor and directed towards couples, but it can be applied to all relationships, both romantic and platonic. The author's theory is that there are five major ways to express love (the five love languages). Each of us has a primary love language, and relationship problems occur when others fail to express love to us in that language. It's an interesting t ...more
Mehrsa
I was tempted to not give this book a high rating because I do not like self-help books and especially marriage advice type things. So many people recommended this book to me that I wanted to read it just so I could have an opinion on it and I have to say that I think it is pretty useful. It is definitely cheesy and certainly oversimplified, but the author is on to something. I have been trying this out not just on my marriage, but also with my children and other relationships and it's just nice ...more
cheri
You can read any one of the Five Love Languages and get the just of the books. It teaches you how to identify your love language and those around you. What the author states is that everyone has a major love language (love cup to be filled) as well as a minor love language. You really begin to understand why some people, including yourself, will do certain things. For example, my youngest son's love language is service. He brings me a cup of water to bed because he knows I drink water thru out t ...more
Lindsay
I had heard a lot about this book & decided to give it a go. It made A LOT of sense! It is all about improving your relationship with your spouse by showing your love to them in a way that resonates with them - which may be totally different than what would be meaningful to you. It was a very fast read, very easy to "get," and I have found it very insightful not only in expressing myself, but also in recognizing when my Jon Jon is being sweet to me. Sometimes it can be hard to tell. Am I rig ...more
Jeannie
Rating: a little over 4 stars.

This book was good. The concepts are important. I got the singles edition as well so I could actually apply these ideas to my current life. The book got a little tedious, though. I felt the first 9 chapters were all that were needed. These chapters encompassed an overview of how Chapman came to the 5-language conclusion, a discussion of each of the five languages, and a "how to determine your love language." I felt the remaining chapters served very little purpose o
...more
AJ
This book has a very interesting premise, that everybody considers different things to be acts of love, and that if you're not speaking the same "love language" as your partner, it's possible that what you consider to be loving isn't interpreted as such.

However I found this book to be really limited. It focuses on married heterosexual couples. I think this concept would be really interesting applied in family situations, or for unmarried couples (honestly, shouldn't these things be discussed and
...more
Tuesdi
We were given this book as a wedding gift but I didn't get around to reading it for almost 9 years. And when I finished it, I wished I hadn't waited so long.
This is another book that can help you identify more effective ways of relating to loved ones. It gives suggestions for using it's tips and lays out how to change the way that you deal with other people.
So often we show love and are angry or at a loss as to why it isn't appreciated or accepted. The jist of this book is that you have to sho
...more
Samantha
I highly recommend this book for ANY couple. Married, engaged, dating, gay, straight. It matters not. I even recommend it if you're single. My husband and I were on the verge of divorce, even separated, but after some counseling and reading this book it has helped us out tremendously! I bought a copy for my mom, sisters, and brother because I think it is that important to read his book and understand your significant others love language.
Dylan Groves
a cautionary tale about losing your kindle in a country that doesn't sell books.
Jenna
I don't do self help books most especially ones that involve the word 'love'. Had it not been for a book group discussion assignment I guarantee I never would have picked up this book.

I'm so glad I did! It's really fun to read. The concept is very simple and makes loads of sense. The writing is very down to earth and Chapman gives so many examples through stories that it's a very fast read.

In short, he explains that everyone speaks different languages in life (Spanish, German, English, etc.) and
...more
Kaila
Honestly, this could be a 5 star book, but the last 50 pages get really preachy. As in, "You are more likely to find and keep the love of your life if you already love Jesus."

The 5 love languages themselves were the best and most interesting part of the book. I was constantly thinking, "Of course! That's why this thing works and that thing doesn't!"

Now, if your partner happens to be a philosophy major...you might have more problems getting the ideas in this book across. There's not much in the w
...more
Heather
Audio Book Review: The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Once you get past the fact that Dr. Chapman sounds a lot like Dr. Phil, and mixes in a fair amount of religious talk at the beginning and end of this book, The Five Love Languages is actually a really interesting way of looking at our relationships with others (both romantic and non-romantic). In the book, Dr. Chapman reveals that people express and receive love in different ways. Because of this, even in some of the most loving relations
...more
Rebekah
A couple of years ago, one of our local church leaders (who is also a psychologist) recommended that every couple read this book...and now, having read it, I'm just a little surprised by that. Really? Out of all the books on marital relationships, you would recommend this one?

Things I Liked:
* The explanation of the "in love" phenomenon. It made so much sense, and confirmed my personal, whirling thoughts that I've been trying to sort out the last few years. Kind-of puts a damper on all of those m
...more
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Gary Chapman has traveled extensively around the world challenging couples to pursue healthy, growing marriages. His first book, Toward a Growing Marriage (Moody, 1979, 1996), began as an informal resource he gave to couples with whom he was counseling. Once officially published, this book became a blessing to thousands of people and helped launch Gary’s popular “Toward a Growing Marriage” seminar ...more
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