When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times
by Pema Chödrön
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other reviews (showing 1-20 of 1293)
Read in January, 2008
My therapist recommended this book when I was dealing with the end of my 11-yr relationship. She introduced it to me saying that often, when things seems the darkest, it just means we on the verge of breakthrough. I was like "OK, that makes some sense." Then it sat on my book shelf for 8 YEARS! Then my roommate Anya read it and told me it was a MUST READ. So I did. Wow! No, really ... WOW!
I have never heard Buddhist philosophy laid out so clearly and accessibly for the Weste...more
I have never heard Buddhist philosophy laid out so clearly and accessibly for the Weste...more
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recommends it for:
Ben, but really everyone, but esp people who want to relax.
First, I would love to be writing tons of really private notes to myself and then have them all exposed by some internet accident. That would be crazy.
I've now had the lovely experience of reading this book when feeling like things were falling apart and then reading it again when it felt like things were pretty normal. Both times were good. Pema Chodron has a crystal clear writing style, concise and beautiful. Her writing is a pleasure to read and I almost feel honored to get to read it...more
I've now had the lovely experience of reading this book when feeling like things were falling apart and then reading it again when it felt like things were pretty normal. Both times were good. Pema Chodron has a crystal clear writing style, concise and beautiful. Her writing is a pleasure to read and I almost feel honored to get to read it...more
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Read in July, 2008
Normally I wouldn't publicly admit to reading something so seemingly self-help-y but I think that this is an excellent "Buddhism for Dummies" type book, and one which illuminates the humanity, the poignancy, and, well, the ancient-ness of Buddhism and its connection with the human condition, and I think that most people can benefit from its lessons.
Someone recommended the book to me because I've been dealing with a prolonged, painful injury, and things did indeed seem to be falling...more
Someone recommended the book to me because I've been dealing with a prolonged, painful injury, and things did indeed seem to be falling...more
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Read in June, 2007
recommends it for:
anyone ready to transform his/her perspective
this book was a refreshing look at how we deal with the not-so-good things in life, and what tools we have within ourselves to help navigate those times. one of the most important things i came to understand is that things like sadness, anger, frustration, feelings of instability, etc. are not inherently bad things. rather, they are challenging. they can present themselves as obstacles. but in reality, they are incredible teachers within our own personal experience that help us to grow. som...more
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This is one of those great keepers you read, reread and then loan to friends in times of need. Though I was baptized an Episcopaelian, I appreciate the philosophy and spirituality of most religions. This I first read after my mom was killed before Christmas the year I got my B.A., when I devoured everything from Thich Nhat Hanh to Mother Teresa to Gandhi and the Bible and even Dr. Phil. The great message is remembering that we need to learn to live with this sort of groundlessness, when the worl...more
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From Publishers Weekly
Pema Chodron, a student of Chogyam Trunpa Rinpoche and Abbot of Gampo Abbey, has written the Tibetan Buddhist equivalent of Harold Kushner's famous book, When Bad Things Happen to Good People. As the author indicates in the postscript to her book: "We live in difficult times. One senses a possibility they may get worse." Consequently, Chodron's book is filled with useful advice about how Buddhism helps readers to cope with the grim realities of modern life, incl...more
Pema Chodron, a student of Chogyam Trunpa Rinpoche and Abbot of Gampo Abbey, has written the Tibetan Buddhist equivalent of Harold Kushner's famous book, When Bad Things Happen to Good People. As the author indicates in the postscript to her book: "We live in difficult times. One senses a possibility they may get worse." Consequently, Chodron's book is filled with useful advice about how Buddhism helps readers to cope with the grim realities of modern life, incl...more
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Read in August, 2007
I am constantly going back to self-help books. I especially like to read about religion too. I am quite agnostic, maybe even leaning more towards atheism but I do not what to rule things out, and do not believe in the absolute of anything. When I picked this book up at the Irondequoit library, the Pauline Evans Branch, I was not feeling whole; in parts I was struggling with what to do with myself in this life. I needed some inspiration. So, I picked up a smaller book on Toltec wisdom (called ...more
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Read in July, 2008
"Being compassionate is a pretty tall order. All of us are in relationships every day of our lives, but particularly if we are people who want to help others - people with cancer, people with AIDS, abused women or children, abused animals, anyone who's hurting - something we soon notice is that the personwe set out to help may trigger unresolved issues in us. Even though we want to help, any maybe we do help for a few days or a month or two, sooner or later someone walks through that door a...more
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Read in April, 2008
recommended to Carol by:
nadiarecommends it for: anyone, whether struggling with something or not...
This book is a true gift. So very helpful in keeping one's self grounded and in perspective about life - both challenges and the easy moments. It's a philosophy to adopt in everyday living which re-frames how most of us (I think) have been socialized to be (living in a dichotomized world and afraid to embrace negative emotions). The re-framing comes from a much more honest, real and unromantic, thus kinder and calmer view of what it is we as individuals are called to be in our earthly existence ...more
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Read in February, 2008
The practices described in this book are beyond me at the present. But, as I read them, I knew they would be important for me. I am pleased to be aware of them now so that I may work on them (even in small ways)in my daily life.
The author approaches the deepest darkest moments of life with compassion and patience. The main message I derived from this profound book, "If we must all suffer, let us suffer well." Breathing through the hard moments, being patient and kind to ourselves wh...more
The author approaches the deepest darkest moments of life with compassion and patience. The main message I derived from this profound book, "If we must all suffer, let us suffer well." Breathing through the hard moments, being patient and kind to ourselves wh...more
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Read in October, 2005
recommends it for:
those who suffer
Like Chodron's other speeches, this is highly accessible to a Western audience. It opens by dealing with the tactical realities of dealing with suffering on a day to day basis, and progresses to more strategic ideas of constant death. Not just for Buddhists - spritual warriors of all stripes will find good ideas here.
The audio version is excellent for ipods; her voice is very calming.
One weak point is here very brief coverage of Trungpen's mediation methods. Too brief to be of much us...more
The audio version is excellent for ipods; her voice is very calming.
One weak point is here very brief coverage of Trungpen's mediation methods. Too brief to be of much us...more
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Read in July, 2007
recommended to Lindsay by:
Meghan recommends it for: those with Buddhist tendencies, those who need a lift
I truly value this book. Chodron clarifies and redefines some of the main obstacles I've come to in trying to "understand" Buddhism, which mainly surround my perception of its seeming negativity. Perhaps it's because she's a woman (I've only read male Buddhist perspectives so far), maybe it's because she's an American (I've only read Asian Buddhist perspectives), or maybe it's because she's just a good writer. Either way, Chodron focuses more on the journey and less on the destinati...more
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This is one of the wisest, most amazing books I've ever read. I read it in my first year in New York and I can honestly say it saved my life - she writes in a simple, lovely way that is comforting and at the same time illuminates the truth that life can kick the crap out of you. This is a helpful book that is written by the precepts of Buddhism and deals with the Western embrace of emotions and emotional life as well. Her combination of this beauty and tragedy is a work of art and wisdom. It tr...more
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recommends it for:
everyone
I come back to this book by Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron frequently. Several years ago, I was going through a really hard time emotionally and picked When Things Fall Apart off a bookstore shelf (based on the title, of course). I don't think I made it past the first couple of chapters -- I just kept going back to the beginning and re-reading. She (Pema Chodron) doesn't claim to have answers, but she gives you lots of help in becoming unafraid of the questions. Even when there are no rough patch...more
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Read in August, 2007
recommends it for:
anyone in crisis
Pema Chodron is amazing. I have found this book really, really helpful. The main idea that I have come away with is this practice of listening to the thoughts that bounce around in my brain, acknowledging them without suppressing them, identifying them as "thinking" in a gentle nonaggressive fashion, and then just letting them go instead of allowing myself to become attached to them, letting them control my actions. I've also been attempting to practice tonglen meditation as she des...more
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Read in January, 2008
recommended to Willow by:
Jerry Colonnarecommends it for: anyone that needs to heal
I love Pema. I really really really love Pema. This book has been instrumental in the healing and growth I've worked through in the last year. I'll be reading it over and over again because each time I go back to a chapter I take away something else, or have some new revelation. She discusses Buddhist teachings often, but in a way that anyone can take apply the concepts to their life regardless of religion. This is a book to read and keep forever, scribbling notes in the margin as you go and ref...more
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recommended to Debbie by:
A very close writing friend
A writer friend recommended this book and I can see why. The overall philosophy, which is of course a Buddhist philosophy, is that of embrace. Instead of running away from our fears, we need to embrace them, feel them. A good philosophy for writers to have. Embracing the worst in us, accepting life as is, being at peace with the nature of others, is, to me, what makes a good writer.
The book is more than this, of course. It is a peaceful, calm read. And while it gets a bit repetitive (as man...more
The book is more than this, of course. It is a peaceful, calm read. And while it gets a bit repetitive (as man...more
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Read in March, 2008
This book isn't quite as pacifying as The Wisdom of No Escape. In many ways, it's a rehash of the ideas from Pema Chödrön's other writings, inasmuch as the author is basically communicating her worldview through writing, and only so many words are useful in this sort of communication. But I think because this book deals with darker areas of life than Wisdom, it has valuable advice to add to the overall picture. One can only read so much about any sort of religious teachings before they collaps...more
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Read in August, 2008
I love this woman! She is the bomb. I don't know much about Buddhism but am learning as I go. I love her earthiness and honesty. Some of what she teaches is that what we are experiencing right now in each of our lives is exactly what we need to be learning at this moment. Another wonderful, life changing idea is that rather than run from our fears and sadness we could become curious about them--lean into them and not try to change them. This book has helped me to see how compassion for oth...more
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Read in September, 2007
recommends it for:
everyone needing to find their way through dark times
This is amazing and logical. It really helps to have a guide that gets you through the chaos of very difficult life problems and uses such a clear, thoughtful way to do so. Tho I'm not a member of any religion, I find the philosophy of least-resistance and emotional control very appealing. Many of Pema Chodoron's instructions and suggestions are things that you'd learn in any good therapy session. Helpful for people who are prone to anxiety attacks and depression. I found this a great resource t...more
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