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206th out of 482 books
—
210 voters
Special Exits
by
Joyce Farmer
Joyce Farmer’s memoir chronicles the decline of the author’s parents’ health,
their relationship with one another and with their their daughter, and how
they cope with the day-to-day emotional fragility of the most taxing time of
their lives.
Elderly parents Lara and Rachel, who have enjoyed a long and loving married
life together, are rendered in...more
their relationship with one another and with their their daughter, and how
they cope with the day-to-day emotional fragility of the most taxing time of
their lives.
Elderly parents Lara and Rachel, who have enjoyed a long and loving married
life together, are rendered in...more
Hardcover, 200 pages
Published
2010
by Fantagraphics
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Apr 26, 2012
Katie
rated it
2 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
people who can connect with the themes of aging and taking care of the aging
I think I'm probably in the wrong audience for this book, as I haven't yet had any experience with declining parents or grandparents, and not really connecting on that level kind of threw off a lot of my potential love for it because there really are some great moments. For me, however, the pages seemed to drag, especially in the art. I realize now that this may have been an intentional play on the state of the characters, but while I was reading this I just kept getting frustrated. It's not hor...more
My 84-year-old friend is quite fond of telling me, "Don't ever get old!" I always respond with, "Okay, but I'm not crazy about the alternative."
This is the moving, true story, told in graphic novel form, of author Joyce Farmer's attempts to care for her elderly father, Lars, and her stepmother, Rachel, during the last few years of their lives. This is truly scary subject matter. Most of us will need to face the problem of aging parents at some time during our lives, if we haven't already. It re...more
This is the moving, true story, told in graphic novel form, of author Joyce Farmer's attempts to care for her elderly father, Lars, and her stepmother, Rachel, during the last few years of their lives. This is truly scary subject matter. Most of us will need to face the problem of aging parents at some time during our lives, if we haven't already. It re...more
My dad suffers from Parkinsons and while my parents are much younger than Lars and Rachel (the elderly couple in the book), I could see so much of their struggle now within these characters that it really hit close to home. It's something my brother and I are starting to contend with now and seeing the gentle humor Joyce brings with her but also how responsible she feels when something goes wrong are feelings I can sympathize with.
The artwork isn't particularly gorgeous but this was not a drawb...more
The artwork isn't particularly gorgeous but this was not a drawb...more
Relevant to anyone who has had to watch somebody they know and love wither and die, and basically devolve into a fussy child, albeit immobile. Farmer sticks to a format of 9 panels per page, employing a straightforward drawing style with few flourishes, if any. I don't think any of the panels could be called "pleasing to the eye," stylistically speaking, but they tell the story effectively enough. Farmer's storytelling is equally straightforward and she doesn't try to milk any emotions out of th...more
I can be forgiven for knowing nothing of Joyce Farmer. Apparently, she did make a mark in the underground commix industry in the 70s when she and Lyn Chevely created ‘T*t* and Cl*t*,’ a counterweight to male-dominated, and sexist, product.
Then she more or less disappeared from the scene. Now in her 70s, she has published the painstakingly detailed, and sometimes painfully honest, story of the slow death of her stepmother and father. Farmer was concerned enough about the frank nature of her acco...more
Then she more or less disappeared from the scene. Now in her 70s, she has published the painstakingly detailed, and sometimes painfully honest, story of the slow death of her stepmother and father. Farmer was concerned enough about the frank nature of her acco...more
This book was pretty amazing. I was skeptical, with R. Crumb's glowing recommendation, that it might be a dash of nepotism, especially because I hadn't heard of Farmer. But I was won over within the first chapter. It isn't raw, per se, but it's honest -- the steady, relentless decline of old age is so mundane and so huge at once - this book documents the last years of Farmer's parents lives, as they struggle to remain independent while losing self-reliance bit by bit. It speaks quietly and humbl...more
I really resisted reading this book for a long time because I thought to myself, "Why do I have to read about this? It's MY LIFE." Heh. Sigh. Sometimes I think the book should be required reading for anyone with, um, parents. At some point we all have to face the fact that no matter what relationship one has with one's parents, at some point they will be old and have serious health issues and make extremely poor decisions because their thought process is, well, not in the best shape. We all have...more
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"...to pay Charon when the time comes."
This memoir takes graphic novel readers on a journey many never have experienced - the aging and decline of parents. The story gives a personal account into encounters with hospice, meals on wheels, and other incidents that arise while providing end of life care.
This is a long and thought provoking book. The art is black and white, roughly penned, and very detailed. The author takes us into the lives of Lars and Rachel and the joys and difficulties that hap...more
This memoir takes graphic novel readers on a journey many never have experienced - the aging and decline of parents. The story gives a personal account into encounters with hospice, meals on wheels, and other incidents that arise while providing end of life care.
This is a long and thought provoking book. The art is black and white, roughly penned, and very detailed. The author takes us into the lives of Lars and Rachel and the joys and difficulties that hap...more
The story of the last years of a couple's lives, based on the struggles and story of the author's own father and stepmother. Particularly appreciated the on-the-ground depiction of the early nineties race riots.
Farmer's illustration style feels very dry, matter of fact, and candid. Although massive amounts of emotion is depicted, personally I felt a bit detached. Which isn't a bad thing at all.
I had a hard time tracking the time on this - there would be a note at the top of the panel saying "Ja...more
Farmer's illustration style feels very dry, matter of fact, and candid. Although massive amounts of emotion is depicted, personally I felt a bit detached. Which isn't a bad thing at all.
I had a hard time tracking the time on this - there would be a note at the top of the panel saying "Ja...more
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it,
click here.
i thought the subject matter might be too much, the decline and eventual passing of an elderly couple in LA, but it really spoke to me having experienced relatives and friends go through the process of dying. it made me think a lot about what it may be like in the future with caring for my own parents, and actually helped alleviate some fears i had. this book gave me compassion for lars and rachel and to imagine that for my own parents. and really, maybe down the road myself. declining health an...more
Feb 08, 2011
Cylvia Santillan
added it
Just try reading the first few pages of Joyce Farmers book if you have aged parents and you won't be able to put this splendidly rendered graphic novella down. Great for California Southland readers since her parents lived in South Los Angeles right through the riots - ever wonder how our senior citizens survived in neighborhood freeze zones during that time?
Joyce labored for over a decade on this story with each scene drawn in meticulous detail and dedicated to the memory of her parents last ye...more
Joyce labored for over a decade on this story with each scene drawn in meticulous detail and dedicated to the memory of her parents last ye...more
The connection I felt to this book seemed more in spite of it's format than because of it. I felt some sections deeply, having spent many days and nights with my grandparents as they reached the end of their days, but this book, perhaps out of some admirable impulse to stay evenhanded and "realistic" gives no more weight in the layout or art to any moment over another, rendering it all in eight panels a page, whether it is depicting feeding a cat or the mother's last day. It had an unfortunate c...more
I'm a relative novice when it comes to the graphic novel genre, but couldn't resist this book when I read the review in the NYT Book Review. This is actually a poignant memoir about the decline & final illnesses of the author's father & step-mother. Very well done and yielding a lot to think about when considering the decisions that will have to be made about one's own parents and one's self down the road. The illustrated component of the book is every bit as good as the text. As soon as...more
This book was on a table right inside my library's door, or I would probably have never have read it. But after reading Stitches last year, I find myself drawn to (or at least open to) the graphic genre. Special Exits is about an ailing older couple and their daughter who cares for them until their deaths. What came through was how very hard it is to care for older or sick people we love, while treating them with dignity as they decline. Hard, but certainly not without joys. Having done this, th...more
This graphic novel tells the story of Lars and Rachel and their slide into old age, ill health and dependency. Laura, Lars' daughter, struggles to care for them and encourage them on their journey. What I especially enjoyed about this family is that no one was near perfect nor did they pretend to be. Instead they took things as they came, did the best they could, lived with regrets and disappointments and still loved and respected one another. Very moving story about end of life issues and the s...more
Memoirs are generally not written about happy times - they wouldn't sell if they were. This graphic memoir about an aging couple, in failing health, and their daughter's struggle to assist them without giving up her life or squashing their independence, is depressing. But it is brilliantly done. The characters and scenes of their cluttery ramshackle house pop off the page thanks to Farmer's detailed drawings. The story will resonate with anyone starting to see glimpses of their own parents' age...more
This book is a thinly-disguised autobiographical account of the final four years of the author’s parent’s lives, depicting with excruciating detail their slowly failing health (including her stepmother’s decline into dementia), and inevitable passing. Farmer spent 10 years on this graphic novel and her hard work shows: she is one of those cartoonists who fills in her backgrounds with dense, meticulous detail, with plentiful crosshatching and shading. However, sometimes this tends to make some of...more
The last four years of life for an elderly couple as they struggle to survive indepedently in their neglected home in south L.A. This just seemed like such an accurate portrayal of what the elderly go through such as not wanting to see a doctor for fear of what he/she will tell them, hiding their problems from family so as not to be any trouble, and the work one spouse will do for the other to keep them home. It left me in tears. Still, it was one of the best graphic novels I've read.
3.5 stars
For those that think that graphic novels are for kids, dedicated to superheros or the supernatural, then you should take a look at this graphic novel. The story is based on the authors true life experiences of taking care of her aging parents. This story rings true to life (based on my experience), but Farmer is still able to show the love and laughter that shine through some of the not so fun moments. It is a tough subject matter, but I really read it in one day.
For those that think that graphic novels are for kids, dedicated to superheros or the supernatural, then you should take a look at this graphic novel. The story is based on the authors true life experiences of taking care of her aging parents. This story rings true to life (based on my experience), but Farmer is still able to show the love and laughter that shine through some of the not so fun moments. It is a tough subject matter, but I really read it in one day.
This one will stick with me for a while. A haunting, touching, beautifully illustrated & verbally told story of her taking care of her elder father & his wife through their aging & dying process in South L.A. That fantagraphics published this proves they're not just for hipsters. everyone should be so honored & strong to know their parent(s) at this stage of life & death, and we as readers should feel honored that she shared her (and their) story.
It comes for all of us who live long enough--the time of old age and feebleness. And who will look out for us then? How will we care for our parents when they begin to age, forget things, fall down? Joyce Farmer's graphic novel takes a gentle look at the aging process and the necessary special arrangements and lowered expectations that come with health problems, memory loss and lack of mobility.
My friend suggested this for cathartic purposes.
It actually touched on events in my own life less than I initially presumed, but that didn't at all take away the power and beauty and raw utter honesty in this book.
Fair warning: if you are like me, you will end up thinking far more about mortality and your parents and the sad inevitable finalities we all must go through.
(read: 152/200 - I am never going to make this goal, am I? No.)
It actually touched on events in my own life less than I initially presumed, but that didn't at all take away the power and beauty and raw utter honesty in this book.
Fair warning: if you are like me, you will end up thinking far more about mortality and your parents and the sad inevitable finalities we all must go through.
(read: 152/200 - I am never going to make this goal, am I? No.)
A wonderful graphic novel written by an older woman (in her 60s I think). Though it is a novel it is based on the author's experience of her elderly parents trying to stay in their own home as their health deteriorates. It chronicles their decline as well as the impact on thier daughter. An ususual format for such a difficult subject. But, it worked!!
Greatest achievement of special exits is that it so clear eyed, so sober on the deterioration of this elderly couples life. their helpless decent into interdependence, disharmony, mental collapse is so complete and inevitable that I had to question my own finite, pitiful and futile existence. This book may have got to me a little.
Interesting memoir told graphically about the a middle aged woman coping with her parents' decline and death. The author started stories but didn't convey the feelings or significance of the events. The graphic novel is a new genre and it was interesting to see how the images conveyed much of what was missing in the text.
Feb 25, 2011
Stephanie
rated it
4 of 5 stars
Recommended to Stephanie by:
Bust magazine
Shelves:
2010,
adult-graphic-novel
I could not put this book down. My husband Don actually could not put this down either (and he is a picky reader). This is one that you have to read to the end, even though you know they are both going to die. My friend Sara had to deal with this with her mother and I thought about her often when I was reading this.
Every Boomer should read this graphic novel about the last four years of a couple. It depicts in few words, and clear illustrations the decline of seniors, the isolation, limitations, and frustrations suffered by several generations. It also reiterates the fact that there is nothing easy about caregiving. And, one realizes the simple joys of life; memories, babies, pets. Well worth an hour or two to read.
This made a couple of year-end lists. I guess I can see why. I remember my parents taking care of my grandparents at the end of their lives. But I don't think I'm ready to think about that with my own parents. So, I don't think I'm really the target audience for a matter-of-face account of the end of life.
Sep 27, 2011
Hol
added it
I'm not sure I've seen anything by Joyce Farmer since her contributions to Wimmen's Comix and other 1970s stuff, and guess what, she's older now and making lovely, heart-wrenching comix about caring for her dying parents. My fingers are crossed that she'll have more new work soon.
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Apr 11, 2012 05:17pm