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Dick and Jane and Vampires

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3.7  ·  Rating Details ·  329 Ratings  ·  117 Reviews
Dick and Jane and Vampires
Hardcover, 144 pages
Published August 26th 2010 by Grosset & Dunlap
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(showing 1-30)
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Jon(athan) Nakapalau
Run Dick run!
Run Jane run!
A vampire is after you!
Run, run, run...even if no one believes you!
Kara
Dec 14, 2010 Kara rated it really liked it

While the book is clearly jumping on the P&P&Z bandwagon, and is also very clearly extremely impressed with its own cleverness, I am willing to admit that in-between the kindergarten level text, there is a subtext worthy of several graduate dissertations on 20th and 21st century social, sexual, political issues and mores.

The book deconstructs several genres, capable of making a point about gender roles, real versus imagined fears of living in modern suburbia, the blindness of the 50’s t
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Daria
Dec 02, 2010 Daria rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2010-book
See Daria.
See Daria laugh.
See Daria laugh at the funny book.
Laugh, Daria, laugh.

I don't know what it says about me that I thought this book was hilarious...but there it is.
Madeline
Dec 04, 2010 Madeline rated it it was ok
This book exists.

That is all.
Tracy St Claire
Jul 14, 2014 Tracy St Claire rated it it was amazing
I bought this book to put on our hipster-cool shelf of Pride and Predjudice and Zombies (+knockoffs), but I am stopping to review only this one. This one doesn't necessarily have literary merit, but it screams (ha) plenty in the social and subconscious themes it throws out.


The 1960s had it share of monsters-under-the-bed for little Americans reading Dick and Jane: the Russians and the "duck and cover" movies, Vietnam, Zodiac serial killer...but new millenial Americans have a new set of monsters.
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Luke
Dec 09, 2010 Luke rated it really liked it
Shelves: favoritebooks
This has got to be one of the funniest, yet most perverted book ever if you have a dirty mind such as myself. I cannot see this as a very good book if it's supposed to be taken seriously, which is why I gave it only 4 stars. I mean, really. A vampire who stalks Dick and Jane? And their mom actually lets the vampire play with them, even though he hides under Jane's bed and shows up hiding in the bushes and trees near where the kids are playing. Funny, yet slightly creepy.
Jessica
Dec 27, 2014 Jessica rated it really liked it
Shelves: humor, own
Freaking hilarious, if you are familiar with the Dick and Jane books. The early sections are basically word-for-word and picture-for-picture with the originals, but there is a subtle hint of something awry: a bat in the distance, flying. A grayish face peering out of the bushes. Vampire slowly draws closer to the children, until eventually they become friends. No, really. HILARIOUS.
Jennifer
Aug 03, 2012 Jennifer rated it liked it
Shelves: fun, vampires, 2012
I enjoyed this more than I should have.
Jason Brown (Toastx2)
I was recently standing in a New Seasons grocery store and found myself looking at "Dick and Jane and Vampires", written by Laura Marchesani (and illustrated by Tommy Huntis). While my wife perused the cold cases of deli foods and chatted with her friend Ian, I stood there staring in surprised amusement.

I have read all sorts of novels where the premise has been updated to include some garbage supernatural element. Jane Austen updated to include zombies was the first that caught my interest (as I
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Julia Brumfield
Sep 25, 2016 Julia Brumfield rated it it was ok
Fortunately for me I am guessing I never had to read the "Dick and Jane" series although I understand the concept. Furthermore I understand the names of the majority of characters for who hasn't come across them somewhere in popular culture?

So with no expectations I chose to read this book while I was at my sister's idea. The concept could have been interesting for the book is like an omnibus that has three actual collection of different stories, which is where I started to not like particular
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Danielle Delahunty
May 13, 2012 Danielle Delahunty rated it really liked it
Very funny to the over 12 crowd, not so funny for the under 5 crowd.

This book should be in the humor section only and would make a great gift for that obnoxious friend who loves Stephenie Meyer books. Just, PLEASE make sure that obnoxious friend does not have kids under five, because that's not even funny to do that to even an obnoxious vampire fan.

My three-year-old and I picked this up at the library in the children's section and I am blaming the "Children's Section" for wrongfully providing a
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Christina
Dec 13, 2010 Christina rated it liked it
A very funny take on the traditional Dick and Jane early reader. The author took the original storybook and changed very little in most of the stories to add a mysterious vampire that flits just on the edges of Dick and Jane's daily life before finally showingup (in daylight, no less) to be their friend. It's hilarious! In a dark adult sort of way; not sure what kids think of it. There's absolutely no blood or gore or biting here; Vampire even gets a "girlfriend" but she's just a platonic friend ...more
Rebecca
Dec 08, 2010 Rebecca rated it really liked it
Quite hilarious satire that seamlessly inserts a vampire into the well-known Dick-and-Jane plots and old-fashioned illustrations. "Oh, oh, oh. That is not our father." LOL! Teens and adults will appreciate the irony, but I say this could still function as an early reader, provided your early reader won't be frightened by the caped man in black. (The cover is actually an anamoly, as Vampire is never shown in the book with fangs or in a threatening way.)
Alyson (Kid Lit Frenzy)
Classic Dick & Jane with a twist. Those who remember Dick & Jane basal readers will definitely find this fun. Teens can enjoy the humor. Beginning readers will find success in reading the book in a short time. Illustrations maintain the classic feel of this book. However, I couldn't help but to be a little weirded out by this adult male vampire who seemed like he was nearly stalking 3 small children. Loved the delivery of a bottle of blood along with the milk.

Jenner
Oct 21, 2013 Jenner rated it really liked it
This book gave me the giggles. Maybe it was just late? Maybe it the end of a really long week? Either way I loved the idea of this book! Quirky and original. My husband didn't find it nearly as funny as me, but what can I say? The vampire hiding under the toddler's bed has to be my favorite. Ha! It's like an SNL skit of a classic children's book (but age appropriate) :) And bonus... the text is still easy enough that my four year old can use it to practice her reading :)
David Ward
Sep 17, 2013 David Ward rated it really liked it
Dick and Jane and Vampires by Laura Marchesani (Grosset & Dunlap 2010) (Fiction) puts a hilariously macabre twist on a classic children's reading primer. This one has to be seen to be believed. My rating: 7.5/10, finished 9/17/13.
Sara Stiles
Jun 11, 2011 Sara Stiles rated it liked it
This is a book. this is a fun book. This is a fun book for nerds. This is a fun book for nerds who enjoy making fun of vampires.
Victoria
Dec 29, 2016 Victoria rated it liked it
Shelves: borrowed
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
The Rusty Key
Oct 26, 2010 The Rusty Key rated it liked it
Reviewed by Rusty Key Writer: Becca Worthington

Recommended for: Anyone old enough to have a sense of irony. Reading level: First grade. Content level: Teen and up.

One Word Summary: Surprising

Dick and Jane books go back to the 1930s, a series of innocent romps and mini-adventures with pink gingham middle sister Jane, perfectly coiffed big brother Dick, blonde ringlet toddler Sally and their lovable dog Spot. Mother wears an apron and cooks well-balanced meals, Father reads his newspaper, and the
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Katie Fitzgerald
[Review written 2/16/11.]

I had no idea this book existed until I saw it lying on one of the tables in the library and realized it's part of my children's collection. Naturally, I was intrigued and had to pick it up and take a look at how the original Dick and Jane stories had been butchered. To my surprise, though, there was little butchering to be seen. The book is strange, and I have no idea why it's shelved in my children's room, but I found the whole thing to be pretty darn hilarious.

The rid
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Steph
Jun 05, 2012 Steph rated it really liked it
It's hard to explain why I like this book. Every time I check it in or out for someone at the library, it makes me smile. When I flip through it and see the vampire pop up in various poses with the classic early reader characters of "Dick and Jane" it just makes me chuckle. Maybe I have a morbid sense of humor. Maybe it's the author's treatment of the scenes of the children and the parents and the vampire. I just know I get a real kick out of this book and its simple, amusing, tongue-in-cheek hu ...more
Miss Ryoko
Aug 28, 2011 Miss Ryoko rated it it was ok
Shelves: humor
Actual rating: 2.5

I'm having a hard time classifying this book because really, I think anyone of any age could read it! I found the book in the humor section when Borders was closing and was expecting something completely different. Despite the cover, the book actually isn't scary at all. Dick and Jane are just playing and every so often see a bat, or the vampire hiding in random places. And at first, they're like "Oh I see something! Run away" but then at the end, the vampire is like part of th
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David Edmonds
Sep 13, 2010 David Edmonds rated it really liked it
Shelves: read-2010
Looking for your next great dose of the supernatural? Thinking Twilight? Forget it. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies? Nope. No, what you need is a good, old-fashioned selection. Something like Dick and Jane and Vampires.

...Wait, what?

Yeah, that was my first thought, too, when I saw the solicit for this book on ShelfAwareness. I also knew at that moment that this was a book that I was just going to have to own. And I was right. It reads exactly like a Dick and Jane, but it's not. It's one of the m
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Natalie Pietro
Oct 11, 2010 Natalie Pietro rated it really liked it
Shelves: own, vampire
See Dick, See Jane, See Dick and Jane play with a Vampire.
See Dick, See Jane, See the Vampire trying to replace their father. Oh, Oh, Oh!
See Dick, See Jane, See the Vampire being creepy with the kids.
See Dick, See Jane; See them hook the vampire up with someone other then their mommy.
See, See, See.....
Ha-ha! Following in the foot steps of the new Vampire/Zombie books like Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter or Pride and Prejudice and Zombies just to name a few. I must say this book was pretty funny
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Claudia
Ok -- I was taught to read using Dick and Jane. I thought they were silly, but I got exactly the right instruction for my learning style...still don't really 'get' phonics. So, I approached this book with some real fondness...

The vampire appears randomly on the pages as Dick and Jane and Sally and Spot go through their day. For a few pages, I thought only Sally could see the vampire, but i don't think that was the author/illustrator's plan.

So, then the joke becomes reading the 'real' text and p
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Mirna
Sep 10, 2013 Mirna rated it really liked it
The book was a gift from a friend for my daughter.
So we finally opened the book together yesterday, and I read it to my daughter. She hasn't understand English yet because I never talk to her in that language, so she just pointed out the beautiful drawings and saying out loud what it is: Kakak! (big sister/big brother), Adik! (little sister), Guguk! (dog) along with several other activities she recognized or she thought she recognized.
I was beginning to feel perplexed myself, because the vampir
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Jacquelyn
Feb 02, 2011 Jacquelyn rated it really liked it
Out of the 12 people who priced this book in the entirety of my bookstore's nationwide locations, I am the only one who put it in "Humor" instead of "Children's"--and I'm sticking to that decision. True, the kids will probably miss the subtext anyway, but still: that vampire is dang creepy! Hiding under beds and ironing boards? Slipping into bedrooms as a bat? Chasing little Sally as Dick and Jane yell from the sidelines, "Run, Sally, Run!"? And I won't give away the ending, but I don't think it ...more
Angie
Dec 02, 2010 Angie rated it really liked it
Well, it had to happen, after _Pride and Prejudice and Zombies_, it's time for Dick and Jane to meet a vampire. I was wandering around Barnes and Noble and couldn't resist giving this a quick read. I was certainly amused. It's worth your five minutes. The vampire is handled in such perfect Dick and Jane style, and you've gotta love the illustration of Jane pushing the vampire around in her baby carriage and lines like, "Mom sees a man. The man is helpful. But he is not a man." or "Dick and Jane ...more
Peacegal
Sep 06, 2010 Peacegal rated it liked it
It seems that after Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, every literary touchtone is getting its own monster-filled sequel.

In this unusual entry, the classic Wonder Bread reading series Dick and Jane is given the supernatural treatment. A Dracula-style vampire is inserted into the watercolor scenes depicting Dick, Jane, Sally, Spot and Puff; the creature goes from being a source of terror to the kids to a new friend and playmate. (The image of Dracula being pushed around in a toy baby carriage is
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Joanne G.
Nov 13, 2013 Joanne G. rated it liked it
I have mixed feelings about this take on the '50s Dick and Jane readers. I grew up with them, so I enjoyed the retro artwork. I will say that I found the early parts of the book creepy, because I was in a state of suspenseful expectation that Dick, Jane, and little Sally were going to come to a bad end! And their parents were seemingly oblivious to the danger of living in a neighborhood infested with vampires.

As the story progressed, I realized their particular vampire was less a scary creature
...more
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