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Everything Is Going to Kill Everybody: The Terrifyingly Real Ways the World Wants You Dead

3.7 of 5 stars 3.70  ·  rating details  ·  1,521 ratings  ·  138 reviews
"Just when you thought you'd accepted your own mortality . . . "Everything Is Going to Kill Everybody" is bringing panic back. Twenty illustrated, hilariously fear-inducingessays reveal the chilling and "very real "experiments, dangerous emerging technologies, and terrifying natural disasters that soon could"--"or very nearly alreadydid"--"bring about the end of humanity. ...more
Kindle Edition, 272 pages
Published (first published January 1st 2010)
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Non-Fiction. Passable pop science peppered with racist ageist ableist sexist homophobic anti-kink rape culture gender essentialist bullshit.

Two stars because I learned some new things about the coming apocalypse, but, really, don't read this.
Up until now I've had a sort of rule that I imposed on myself. I didn't star-reveiw books that were written by people I know. This is an extremely easy rule to follow as the number of people I know that have published books can be counted on one hand (and if I'm counting the number of people I actually care about, the hand could have lost a finger in some sort of industrial machinery type accident and you'd still have an accurate count).

But this book changes everything, because Robert's wife is
Let's be clear on this : There are dick jokes, and there's no hiding the fact that the author is extremely sarcastic. Some readers expect a book to be "firm and easy to understand : humor is too muddy a writing topic", and I suppose I understand that, as some people just lack the ability to read tone in literature. That being said...

OMFG, GTFO & GO DIAF!!! Ahem. I suppose I should be more mature about my opinions, so here goes : I don't like people who lack a sense of humor. I think that the
Did you, by chance, ever hear of a certain man (or woman, or being) called Grim Reaper? Guess you did. And also i guess now you're secretly wondering, why am I asking such a stupid and meaningless questions? Well, let me tell you why: because after finishing this book, I already feel like I'm about to meet him. No, not just meet him, but become best friends. Buddies. Pals. Chums, y'know.

This book - it is so jolly, so merry, so cute, that reports of Boko Haram or ISIS atrocities or WW2 inspired c
Dave Nielsen
Some very interesting content, which is what kept me reading and the only reason it gets 1 star instead of negative 5. Beside that, the book was garbage. 75% of the book was dick jokes, and the rest had some sort of sick sex analogy tied to it. The author writes with the maturity of a 14 year old schoolboy. I found myself constantly annoyed by his obnoxious behavior and foul mouth and language. There were a few funny parts, but it was probably about 1 page in 100 that you would find those. If I ...more
Robert Brockway, a columnist and blogger for and webmaster of has produced one of the most fascinating and downright terrifying books it has ever been my (mis)fortune to run across. Everything Is Going to Kill Everybody: The Terrifyingly Real Ways the World Wants You Dead, a collection of his well-researched essays on, presents the thousand-and-one ways in which the modern world not only can render us and, perhaps, every other form of complex life on the ...more
Jun 01, 2010 Schnaucl rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: fans of megadisaster
Four and a half stars.

Oh my god, we're all going to die!*

*Eventually. Somehow.

This book covers a range of topics from things which almost wiped out humanity/life on earth to things that might do so in the future. It's written with a lot of humor and in the tone of your local newscast (2 flakes of snow = WINTER BLAST 2010).

Some of the things that almost killed us were pretty unnerving. There was the Russian, who, at the height of the Cold War had to decide within seconds that despite what the com
At first I was engaged by the funny, snarky, pithy style of writing but very quickly it got annoying. As other readers I wasn't expecting anything scientific but I was hoping it would be a bit more substantive than it was. The whole thing devolved quickly into something akin to a bar conversation with a drunk, depressed, hypochondriac. I'd skip it if I were you.
Amanda - Go Book Yourself

Ok you knew that... but according to this book its going to be a rather interesting and painful affair!

"everything in here will kill you and everyone love in various way horrible ways, and there's not much you can do about it but laugh. Or void your bowels and call your mom."


I have a feeling that the author suffers from some form of ADHD but then again to write something like this it would almost be a requirement!

Being a veterinary nurse I HAD to look up the bul
Derek Pennycuff
I've been a fan of Robert Brockway since before he published his first piece at And I'd just finished reading David Wong's excellent books before moving on to this. I had high hopes, and was let down. I know Brockway can write well. I feel like something went wrong in the editing process. Either his editor on this book just didn't get his style and hamstrung the project. Or the editing workshop at Cracked is an order of magnitude better than with the publisher here. Or perhaps Brock ...more
Duncan Mandel

*Just when you thought you’d accepted your own mortality . . . *Everything Is Going to Kill Everybody* is bringing panic back. Twenty illustrated, hilariously fear-inducing
essays reveal the chilling and *very real *experiments, dangerous emerging technologies, and terrifying natural disasters that soon could*—*or very nearly already did*—*bring about the end of humanity. In short, everything in here will kill you and everyone you love. At any moment. And nobody’s told you about
This was, hands down, the single funniest and most terrifying thing I have ever read, no lie. Seriously, when I was done reading it, I had to Google some of the threats Brockway described in the book, to see how much he might have been exaggerating. Turns out? Not much.

If you're looking to laugh until you cry and then not be able to sleep ever again, then this is the book for you.
This is the funniest book I have read in a long while.

The only thing funnier is the reviews on goodreads.

For the people who criticize this as poor journalism, I give you this quotation from Brockway's Outro:
"the worst of all possible scenarios have been detailed within these pages for you, and it was all totally ridiculous" (emphasis added)
That was kind of the point.

For the people who are offended by jokes about bodily fluids and/or jokes about the possibility of sexual trauma at the hands of ro
Overall an entertaining read. It was written in a very casual and humorous way, but presented plenty of things to think about. Definitely worth reading if you're looking for a reason to drink
The subject matter of this book is really fascinating. Who doesn't want to know all the spectacular ways in which we can end as a species? Sadly, to reach to the content one has to sift through page after page of dick jokes, balls jokes, various bodily functions jokes, super macho jokes, borderline racist jokes, balls-of-steel jokes, grizzly bear balls jokes, giant balls jokes, and scientists-are-kind-of-dumb jokes. Oh, and lasers. Lasers are apparently a thing. I'm sure it has it's target audie ...more

'The researchers, as they did with VEGF, EPO, and MK-667, freely admit that there is also the potential for abuse of this as a performance enhancer in humans, but they do strongly warn that these same potential side effects might affect humans the same as they do mice. '

We’re currently building war bots that power themselves on corpses. The robot-digestion engine is being developed right now by a corporation called Cyclone Power, and they prefer to refer to it as a “beta biomass engine sy
I'm in a bit of a quandary about this one.

On one hand, it is very funny. It is written with the kind of sardonic, ironic, cynical charm that I generally like. The author, while not, perhaps, the world's best wordsmith, has a good head on his shoulders and knows how to make a plague or robot apocalypse fairly hilarious.

Also, even though the book is non-fiction and is fairly well-researched, I'm not laboring under the delusion that it's anything more than fairly diverting pop-science. This author
Todd Martin
I couldn’t finish the book, the level of misinformation was intolerable. Looking into the claims of just one of Brockway’s examples, that a genetically modified form of the bacteria K. Planticola almost escaped from the lab and killed every living plant on earth (and consequently, every living animal as well), reveals that the claim is rubbish. However, a quick review of the incident illustrates how certain pseudo-scientific claims are propagated.

In 1992 Dr. Elaine Ingham and her graduate stude
Hell yeah, Cracked writers. I've been meaning to read this for some time but hadn't quite got around to it for a while. Since I finally finished both Gravity's Rainbow and the Science book I've had kicking around, I consulted my Goodreads to-read section and landed on this. I was almost surprised CPL had it- it seems too cutting edge and awesome for them. But had it they did, and it got shipped to my location within a day of reserving it, and I have finished it within a day after that.

Unlike Cra
C.C. Thomas
I think the introduction says it all with this quote: "intense fear mongering and creative swearing".

In the book, the author discusses the myriad ways that life on Earth might end-contagions, weather, genetic manipulation-even robotic overthrow and does so in a manner that is hilarious. Any idea for destruction of our planet was taken to the nth degree. Brockway seems to revel in the fear mongering and the bona-fide research set aside the ridiculous notions by actually including the research da
Michael Estey
Author Robert Brockway

Another doom and gloom book.
but, oh so interesting...

Everything is Going to Kill Everybody

A Book Review

From Nuclear Bomb Explosions
a hundred times the size of Hiroshima,
Chemical Spills worse than Valdez.

Astroids, Meteors, Comets, Aliens.
Sunbursts, Hurricanes, Magnetic Shifts.
Earth Quakes, Continental Drifts.

Mega Tsunami's
Pole shifts
Robots smarter and stronger
with a will of their own.

Bio-Engineering, Bio-Tec
Lucy Furr
Ahhh, a book chock full of comedic fear mongering at its best, written by the Armageddon loving Robert Brockway of, who, in a way, reminds me of my grandmother, though she’s usually only freaking out about her hardwood floors and Brockway is more concerned with the bigger, planet annihilating, picture.

The best kinds of books, in my opinion anyway, are the kinds that make you laugh and learn all at the same time. Brockway’s well researched book does exactly that, though I think that
I am trying to read this book but I don't know if I'll be able to finish. I am interested in learning about these things that might, almost, and nearly-did kill me or prevent me from being born. But the humor is too over-the-top and outrageous for me, bordering on being crude sometimes.
Example: Stanislav Petrov averted nuclear war and all the author can gush about are the man's balls. If I wanted to spend my time listening to (or in the case of this book, reading about) testicles used as a euphe
Natalie Jaeger
This book takes all the things that could in fact be responsible for the end of the world (hint most of them are a result of humanity, yay mankind), and pretty much reduces them to dick jokes. And that is pretty awesome. Basically, the point of the whole thing is, to quote the inequitable Bobby McFerrin, "don't worry, be happy," because come tomorrow you'll most likely be a pile of smoldering ash or some robot's midmorning snack.
Sarabeth Rose
Hilarious. Great mix of science and comedy. Talks about everything from GMOs to nanotechnology and natural disasters.

One of my favorite parts:

"An Average Joe's Understanding of Atmospheric Layers:
Troposphere: Really warm, sandy sphere.
Stratosphere: Planes go here, also guitars.
Mesosphere: Me so sphere-y?
Thermosphere: Where nuclear power comes from.
Exosphere: A sphere with its bones on the outside like a bug."

Used as an aid to cure my insomnia. Who knew I could fall asleep while reading a book about how an asteroid hurtling towards Earth to wipe out humanity would put me to sleep. But it did. Sections of the book were entertaining and some were even reasonably concerning about a coming apocalypse. I think the author would have been better served focusing more in depth on a few on the more probable scenarios instead of trying to cover every possible end of days he could think up. If it was supposed to ...more
A great read, but not for the paranoid. I'm not worried about armageddon, but this book scared the crap out of me. It's not a matter of when, but how and what. There are ways that the Earth, and the people on it, want everybody to die that I was not even aware of. And, if you look at the books I have listed here, I am clearly fascinated by the apocalypse! The author does a great job at presenting everything through humor, although foul mouthed, it proves in the face of utter annihilation all you ...more
Fun read and slightly scary, but you know what? We're all gonna die in the end anyway. If you want to read some real life horror stories and marvel at how we have survived so far, this is the book for you. Fair warning though, there be some curse words in here, used properly considering the subject matter but if you don't like reading the profanity, you might want to steer clear. I recommend you give it a gander though, as it is funny and educational. Kind of.
David Lillemon
Using his own words, it's "a book of dick jokes about cutting edge science ". I don't completely trust the science - as in, "I'll investigate more rather than assume this is the whole story" - but I don't read comedy for scientific precision. I read it for new topics to begin exploring, plus dick jokes.
Luke Harrington
I really wanted to like this book. The title is hilarious, and its association with was a big plus for my inner Cracked fanboy. Unfortunately, I just found it kinda boring. The facts (which amount to a list of the ways nature and burgeoning technology could cause mass human extinction) are interesting enough, but they're recounted in a bland, whitebread sort of way, and the jokes feel particularly shoehorned in. It also doesn't help that author Robert Brockway seems a little fuzzy on ...more
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I am Robert Brockway.

I am an editor and columnist for

I am an author.

I wrote Rx: A Tale of Electronegativity.

I wrote Everything is Going to Kill Everybody.

I live in Portland, Oregon.

I dislike raisins.

I am right behind you.

No, still behind you.

Behind you, again.

You are now spinning in circles.
More about Robert Brockway...
Rx - Episode 1: The Blackouts Rx: A Tale of Electronegativity Rx - Episode 2: The Reservoir Rx - Episode 3: Industry Rx: A Tale of Electronegativity - Annotated Edition

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“As human beings we are all keenly aware of our own mortality, but although we know we all have to die eventually, there is some small amount of comfort in knowing that maybe it’s something we could all do together, as a team. There is, after all, no “I” in “apocalypse.” 2 likes
“A roster,for example, is a lovely machine - who doesn't love its warm, crispy ejaculations?” 0 likes
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