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Beyond Codependency: And Getting Better All the Time
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Beyond Codependency: And Getting Better All the Time

4.16 of 5 stars 4.16  ·  rating details  ·  1,488 ratings  ·  38 reviews
You're learning to let go, to live your life free of the grip of someone else's problems. And yet you find you've just started on the long journey of recovery. Let Melody Beattie, author of the classic Codependent No More, help you along your way. A guided tour past the pitfalls of recovery, Beyond Codependency is dedicated to those struggling to master the art of self-car ...more
Paperback, 276 pages
Published April 1st 1989 by Hazelden (first published January 1st 1989)
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This review is taken from my blog at:

In case it isn't already clear, I'm talking about two separate books here. One book is titled "Codependent No More" and the other is "Beyond Codependency." I picked them up at the library after hearing the term codependent used in The Emotionally Abusive Relationship. I've been interested in learning about the concept in the past and never gotten around to it.

So what is codependency? The term was coined originally to d
I appreciated this book more than "Codependency No More", mostly because Beattie seems to be more positive towards the reader. Beattie often uses examples that involve drug or alcohol addicts, which I found to throw me off from the point she was trying to make about codependency issues. This book is now published along side Codependency No More, as one book instead of two. Codependency No More needs to be read first in order to understand how those behaviors are manifest, but Beyond Codependency ...more
I didn't like this book at all.

It was recommended to me by a close family member because I had expressed difficulty setting boundaries with a friend of mine. This family member expressed some of the same difficulties in their own life, and suggested this book.

It seems to be closely attached to the Al-anon program and alcoholism in the family. The stories of people's experiences with codependency were so suffocating to me, that I'm more emotionally disturbed after reading the book than I was befo
Jon Edward
Can't say I "enjoyed" reading this book, but it did help me see how alcoholism in my family history has created unhealthy behaviors, even generations away from the problem. Good stuff. More people (especially where I come from in the Midwest) would be well to learn more about this coping strategy which costs us so much life, love and joy.
Holy cow! This is the stuff that should be taught in schools. If only I had been aware of the information in this book 20-30 years ago. This one is even better than the first one. It gives specific tools to help identify unhealthy behaviors in yourself and in others and apply them to life in order to make healthy choices.
Joey Heflich
I'm not an alcoholic. I'm not looking for a personal relationship with a higher power. I'm not a lady. I don't have kids or problems with commitment. It'd be nice to read a book about codependency and recovery written for sober, male agnostics.
Helps you to heal and let go of other people's problems and to live your own life--teaches you to love and take care of yourself. Cause if you are not healthy--how can you expect to take care of others!
Kristin Frasier
This book really helped me. Highly recommended.
"What do we need to surrender to and let go of? Our past, present, and future. Our anger, resentments, fears, hopes, and dreams. Our failures, successes, hate, love, and desires. We let go of our time frame, our wants, sorrows, and joys. We release our old messages, our new ones, our defects of character, and attributes. We let go of people, things, and sometimes ourselves. We need to let go of changes, changing, and the cyclical nature of love, recovery, and life itself." (240) #worldlydharmas

3.5 rounded up to 4, simply because I highlighted like a mad woman through most of it. I believe my rating would be higher if I was in a different place personally. If you ARE recovering from a codependent relationship, read this.
Chelsea Heath
More very useful information on how to grow out of codependency. I appreciated the discussion of the actual process and some of the obstacles that might be encountered. Thank you, Ms. Beattie!
Enrique Valdivia
Beattie's writing is best when she is telling her own story. The farther she strays from it the weaker the prose. Halfway through the book she starts running out of things to say. The last few chapters are practically useless. This is too bad because I had high hopes for some of them. The chapter about how to help children cope with growing up in a "recovering" family raises a very important issue but does nothing with it. The reader is left with no guidance whatsoever. Beattie's frank appraisal ...more
I read this one quite some time ago. It worked for me at the stage that I was at.
Peggy Jantz
Highly recommend
Elizabeth Beck
I appreciated a lot of what she had to say but felt she could have been a bit more sympathetic toward her audience, particularly regarding the spirituality aspects. It would be a lot more accessible if she hadn't treated spirituality as a given; there are people who are terrified of God or who don't believe in God (and sometimes a traumatic mix of the two) who need recovery and they shouldn't be alienated from the world of recovery.
I have meant to read Melody Beattie for about 6 years now, and I'm glad that I finally got around to it. She is well worth the read and provides excellent support for people dealing with issues of codependency. Her section on intimacy and conflict is particularly good with clear tactics to apply to relationships. There's no psychobabble here, so it's very easy to read. I highly recommend this book.
I think the principles in Melody's books are so helpful. I usually skip over a lot of the case studies since I don't enjoy reading depressing anecdotes; but the messages she shares afterward are wonderful in lifting our hearts and minds out of old ways and leading us to healthier relationships and lives.
As I said in the Codependent No More review, the insane relationship stuff has taken a lot longer to let go of than the insane drinking behavior. And since I actually had to reread this one 6 months ago, it would seem that I'm still not there yet! *sigh*
wonderful. Melody Beattie writes from the heart. She makes it personal by using real life examples. She includes lots of practical suggestions to deal with codependency issues. For anyone dealing with codependency, this a a must read book.
Sharon Simmons
An absolutely great book on how to take care of yourself !!! A must read :)
Roxanne Russell
A loved one asked me to read this so I could understand her struggles. It did give good insight, and I imagine this is a very helpful reminder to people who have trouble drawing boundaries.
Really great reminders to help me keep on track with my recovery. Let me know that it's okay to "recycle" or relapse when stresses come up, like moving.
Susie Braun
Jun 20, 2008 Susie Braun rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: anyone in a codependent relationship
Still reading this. But I am blown away how every time I pick this up (even if it's been awhile) it addresses what I've been dealing with right then.
Really really eye opening and I would recommend to anyone who picks up and reads codependent no more!
Good book, but after reading the first one "Codependent no more", this was a bit of a let down for me.
Jen Scott
I thought this was just more of the same from her first book and I didn't enjoy it as much.
Donna Waggener
additional information and letting go of other people's problems. Continued good information
Jen Rives
Mar 11, 2011 Jen Rives added it
Shelves: codependency
This is a classic and a great place to start when learning about codependency.
Chuck O'Connor
Food for those of us who have dwindled in love-starved relationships.
Marilyn Diamond
If you are ready to deal with your issues then read it.
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  • The Courage to Heal Workbook: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse
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Over the years, Melody Beattie has become well-known in the world of self-help literature. After turning away from a life of addiction and suffering, Melody shared her own story in order to help others change theirs. Her overnight sensation, Codependant No More, has been influencing millions for over twenty years. Her passion for writing has resulted in fifteen books, including: Co-Dependants Anon ...more
More about Melody Beattie...
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency (Hazelden Meditation Series) Codependent No More & Beyond Codependency Journey to the Heart: Daily Meditations on the Path to Freeing Your Soul The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation

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“The lesson I was learning involved the idea that I could feel compassion for people without acting on it. ” 47 likes
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