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The Zombie Wilson Diaries

by Timothy W. Long (Goodreads Author)

3.26 of 5 stars 3.26 · rating details · 183 ratings · 43 reviews

Kindle Edition

Published (first published February 5th 2010)

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Nov 05, 2010 Patrick D'Orazio rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

The Zombie Wilson Diaries plays on the castaway scenario replacing the volleyball named Wilson from the Tom Hanks film with a zombie girl who is quite a bit more animated and a whole lot more bitey than a ball with a bloody hand print for a face. Our nameless narrator begins his diary while on a business trip to the islands, which turns into a plane crash which lands him on a deserted island in the middle of the ocean with one of the other passengers, who apparently floated up to the island aliv...more The Zombie Wilson Diaries plays on the castaway scenario replacing the volleyball named Wilson from the Tom Hanks film with a zombie girl who is quite a bit more animated and a whole lot more bitey than a ball with a bloody hand print for a face. Our nameless narrator begins his diary while on a business trip to the islands, which turns into a plane crash which lands him on a deserted island in the middle of the ocean with one of the other passengers, who apparently floated up to the island alive, just like him, but made the unfortunate decision to eat some exotic berries that have turned her from a hottie model type into a rottie gooey type. But fear not, our narrator decides to take her under his wing instead of bashing her skull in with a big rock because she keeps him company on a island lacking in others to socially interact with. Oh, we do get the occasional interloper, like our fair lady's dead rotting hubby and a few natives who have canoed over from another island, but for the most part, this tale of a fateful trip is all about a man and his zombie.

A nice touch with this book is the appearance of handwritten text and the hand scrawled stick drawings that the narrator puts at the front of each chapter, which added to the personal diary feel of this story.

It is an intriguing relationship that this deluded and desperate man has with a creature that I found hard to define as far as what her role was. Each chapter starts with "My girlfriend..." but it becomes clear that the zombie in this story plays multiple parts, and girlfriend, it seems, is probably the least of them. Desperate for companionship, it is almost as if she is his pet or willful child, as he takes care of her and keeps her from getting into trouble, while at the same time she snaps at him and generally acts like a brat, but there are moments when it seems that his girl, undead Friday, seems to recognize and even relies on him, especially when there are thunderstorms and undead sharks trying to snap her in half.

The comedy here is dark and should be appreciated by a fan of the zombie genre for certain, as well as those who like a bit of a twisted tale in general. The self-induced torture that this castaway goes through as he debates, on a daily basis, whether it would just be better to kill this creature even though she provides him with a shred of human contact, is a wickedly humorous conflict. I'm not really sure whether I liked this guy or I just wanted to smack some sense into him, but I know one thing for sure, this book was an entertaining journey into the surreal.(less)

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Mar 16, 2010 Scott Johnson rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I love small presses. Often times, much more so than some of the larger presses out there, the books that come out of them may not be polished or the type of thing that a normal publisher would look at twice, but there's so much heart and charm in them that it would be a tragedy if they didn't somehow find their ways into publication. Library of the Living Dead is one of those small presses, and one of its latest titles unleashed upon the public is Timothy Long's The Zombie Wilson Diaries.

Our na...more I love small presses. Often times, much more so than some of the larger presses out there, the books that come out of them may not be polished or the type of thing that a normal publisher would look at twice, but there's so much heart and charm in them that it would be a tragedy if they didn't somehow find their ways into publication. Library of the Living Dead is one of those small presses, and one of its latest titles unleashed upon the public is Timothy Long's The Zombie Wilson Diaries.

Our narrator survives a plane crash only to wind up on a deserted island with only one companion. No, it isn't a volley-ball with a smiley face painted on it...His "Wilson" is a woman who just happens to be one of the reanimated dead. While one might think that bashing its brains in would be the logical course of action, our narrator can't bring himself to do it, so he winds up talking to the thing and it becomes, in a weird way, his best friend.

If you're looking for the next Faulkner, look elsewhere. If you're looking for a twisted bit of humor involving a guy trying not to be attracted to the walking corpse that wants to eat him, this is the book for you. With chapters titled "My Girlfriend Has Crabs" (eeeeewwwww) and "My Girlfriend Likes to be Tied Up," it's easy to see where the author is going, and it's a fun ride getting there. Every chapter is accompanied by a friendly little stick-figure that, for some reason, makes the whole thing that much funnier.

If this book were to suffer from any shortcoming, it would be that its rough. The grammar isn't great all the time, and there are a few mechanical errors in the book. But then again, we are reading a diary written by a character who is stranded on an island with a dead girl. Everything in the book works from the characters point of view, and if the reader just nods and goes with it, he'll find the book that much more enjoyable.

On the whole, I'd call this one a triumph. It's quirky, fast paced, and good to the last withered drop.(less)

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Apr 30, 2012 Jennie rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I complain a LOT about how hard it is to find a funny book. I stumbled across this one accidentally (isn't that always the way?) and found it amusing. Not laugh out loud, I'm going to pee my pants funny, but humorous throughout.

I'm not a fan of diary entries as a writing style, but that's just a personal preference thing. I did love the stick figure drawings scattered through the diary. And honestly, who doesn't love a good zombie story? And his wavering between having the hots for the rotting...more

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May 24, 2012 Cassy rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: books-in-2012, humor, least-favorites, fantasy-sci-fi

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. This book was really, REALLY terrible. I thought it might be interesting, funny even, a guy stuck on an island with a zombie. But the humor was ill place, the character unlikable and the whole book just gross.

The narrator (who, I don't believe we're ever told his name) crashes to a deserted island and compares his life to that of Tom Hanks in Castaway. He finds another survivor, only she's eaten some strange berries and turned herself into a Zombie.

All this I could handle. But this guy, who is i...more

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May 09, 2013 Jen*The Geeky Book Gal* rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: funny-reads, zombie

Amazon's summary:
It should have been the perfect vacation. A beautiful island without a soul in sight. Blue sea so clear I can see the reef. Palm trees swaying in the wind, and a girl with barely a scrap of clothing on.
There is only one problem. She is a zombie and she wants to eat me.
That's right. My only companion is a creature with a hunger for human flesh. I should bash in her brains and toss her in the ocean but I don't have a volleyball to talk to.
All I have is this diary and my own Zombie...more

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Apr 22, 2012 Vix rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Set out like a diary this tale is both gruesomely funny but also sad in its solitary horror.
Post a plane crash our nice but dim "hero" is washed up on a tropical island and soon finds a rather gorgeous girl that has managed to zombiefie herself.
The daily descriptions of hunger, thirst and the girl that goes bump in the night are both humorous and horrifying. During the month of isolation, that we read about, with only the zombie girlfriend to keep him company, nice but dim gradually builds hims...more

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Aug 29, 2012 Orlaith rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: ebook, fiction, mini-reviewed

Our protagonist (I don't think we ever find out his name) finds himself stranded on a desert island following a plane crash. The only other survivor seems to be the hot girl he noticed while the plane was still airborne and normal, but unfortunately, she is zombified. That sort of puts romance on the back burner, but still, bereft of company as he is, our hero decides to keep her as a sort of pet while he tries to survive.

Written in a journal format, this book is a good diversion and is humorous...more

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Sep 18, 2010 Heather (HeadshotHeather) rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Everyone, at some point in time has played the “Desert Island” game. You know the one. What one movie/tv/book show would you pick to take if you were stranded on a desert island? What one food/drink would you pick? Oh, I got one…what one person would you choose to be stranded with you on a desert island? Did any of you pick a hot female zombie? Well the protagonist of The Zombie-Wilson Diaries didn’t exactly PICK to be stranded on a desert island with a zombie of the opposite sex, but that’s jus...more

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Mar 06, 2013 Kellie Harrington rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This story about zombies is a diary of a man on a working vacation, and during his stay he got into an airplane accident. When he floated for awhile he found himself on a deserted island, he thinks theres another survivor but soon he found out that it was the beautiful woman from the plane and she was a flesh eating maniac. The story continues about his daily routines and how he's avoiding being bit by his zombie girlfriend. This is a very comical book he tells of his ups and downs he has with h...more

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Jun 09, 2010 Peep (Pop! Pop!) rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: read-in-2010, just-okay, adult-cravings

Sometimes funny and sometimes sad at what the guy had to go through. Trying to cope with being stranded on a desert island where your only companion is a zombie is actually MUCH funnier than you'd think it would be.

I guess when you're all alone you'll take your friends in any form. Very fast read. At times I thought he behaved much younger than he came off as. Unless I missed it, you're never given his age. I'd say it's somewhere between 8 and 30. Nice window.

At times it's gross (seriously, it...more

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May 19, 2013 Marcie pollack rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I haven't laughed so much while reading a Zombie book.. Like others have said it is a play on castaway and even mentions it once.. The book started off very entertaining with a guy getting stranded on a island and comes across a Zombie Chick.. His attempts at survival etc..
I have to say the the idea behind this story was stellar but the execution was not quite up to par.. I felt the ending kind of sucked it felt rushed and unexpected.. Nothing worse then reading along and then boom.. Done! I did...more

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Apr 30, 2013 Emily rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Jun 28, 2010 Ben Langhinrichs rated it 4 of 5 stars

I have not read a lot of zombie stories, preferring science fiction or regular fiction, but the title and tag-line of this book caught my attention. I worried at first that the "gag" of a man stranded on an island with just a zombie "girlfriend" would wear out, but the book was a pleasant surprise. Written as a journal, the book is very humorous but also does a great job exploring the ramifications for the main character dealing with being isolated with just a non-communicative zombie. The title...more

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Sep 10, 2011 T.W. Brown rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

(Originally reviewed for buyzombie.com)

It’s a Sunday morning; I’ve got the sun peeking over the mountains, a cup of coffee and a little Maroon 5 to start me up. Last night after a band jam session, I finished Timothy W Long’s The Zombie Wilson Diaries. So, let’s get to a little disclosure. I’d heard about this book for a while on the Library of the Living Dead’s forum. I had zero interest in the story. I pre-judged and decided that I wouldn’t like it. Over the weeks, I built up a very unreasonab...more (Originally reviewed for buyzombie.com)

It’s a Sunday morning; I’ve got the sun peeking over the mountains, a cup of coffee and a little Maroon 5 to start me up. Last night after a band jam session, I finished Timothy W Long’s The Zombie Wilson Diaries. So, let’s get to a little disclosure. I’d heard about this book for a while on the Library of the Living Dead’s forum. I had zero interest in the story. I pre-judged and decided that I wouldn’t like it. Over the weeks, I built up a very unreasonable disdain for it. Then the honcho at BuyZombie.com said he wanted it reviewed. Please don’t pick me, I chanted. “Todd, review this.” Dammit!

The highest praise I believe a writer can garner is when he or she can convert somebody who begrudgingly reads their book…and enjoys it. That is the case with me and Mr. Long’s book, The Zombie Wilson Diaries. Folks, this is a run read. It is charming and entertaining and funny. If, like me, you can be a bit of a snob…get over yourself for a day and pick up this amusing twist in the genre.

Friends, trust me, I wanted to hat this story before I’d read the first page. Mr. Long thwarted me at every turn. I could not stop reading. I laughed, and those who read my reviews know how much I value a writer who can elicit actual LOLing.

Our protagonist is stranded on a deserted island. He encounters one of the fellow members of his ill-fated flight. Only, she has eaten a native plant, and now…well, yes, she’s a zombie. Kudos to Mister Long for not going too far with the protagonist-zombie relationship. It would’ve ruined a spectacularly enjoyable story. The relationship we are allowed to watch blossom never goes too far from reasonable. That is the simple beauty of this story.

I don’t fib to those of you who read my reviews. I don’t do fluff pieces. I tell you straight up if you should part with your hard-earned dough to indulge in a little zombie time. I can say very confidently, as it pertains to The Zombie Wilson Diaries, the answer is yes.

Now, true to form, I must point out a few problems. That is how we learn as writers. I felt that the forward pre-announcing spelling errors was more hurtful. It made me lay in wait for them (and they do in fact exist). We are champions of small press, glitches are part of our charm as long as they are not abundant. And to credit Mr. Long, they aren’t abundant, but they are there. Also, how did you score Ms. Frater as the writer to your forward? Next to Amelia Beamer, she’s my favorite scribe in the Z-genre…but I digress.

I happily recommend The Zombie Wilson Diaries. It is fast paced, fun, and even provides a few well-constructed gross-out moments. If you’ve convinced yourself you would hate it, like I had, then I challenge you to pick it up. Mr. Long will win you over with easy wit, a bit of charm, and a darn good story.(less)

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Oct 31, 2012 Erik Larson rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Now if Tom Hanks movie was more like this I would have actually watched the whole thing!!
deserted on an island with a zombie does sound a bit scary, but this book is definately not scary. it is funny, and twisted, but mainly funny!!! Want to try something a little different in the zombie books? Tired of zombies destroying the world and only the morons are left to cope with whats left? Well this book has none of that!!! Just one zombie, one stranded dude, and the adventure is on!!!!

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Apr 22, 2012 Adam Smith rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Trapped on a deserted island with only a rabid snarling zombie chick as company.

The diary entries document one man's slow descent into the absurd as he struggles to survive; faced with zombies, wild animals, wild animal zombies, and pissed-off islanders.

This book is a fun look at the worst desert island scenario ever imagined. The diary writer's constant snide remarks about his situation always serve to make the horrific into the comedic. Worth reading if you're a zombie fan looking for a good...more

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Apr 24, 2012 Heather rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

First of all, I'd like to say I HATE ZOMBIES. They are creepy and freak me out. However, when I read the synopsis for this book I just had to read it. And I'm really glad I did. It was HILARIOUS. I still don't like Zombies, but I was happy to read something about them that was a little humorous. It ends somewhat abruptly (since the guy ran out of pages in his diary) so you're left to wonder what happens next.

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Jun 08, 2012 Sharon rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2012, fiction, nook-books, random-paranormal

Ok, this was one of the worst books I've read in a long time. I still finished it however just because I can't leave a book unfinished.

The stranded guy is a moron. And his zombie is perhaps the worst zombie I've ever come across in zombie lore. She shouldn't have been showing fear or comfort or any of that. Zombie's are supposed to be emotionless. And why for the love of god would he bring her with when he left the island?

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Apr 29, 2012 Linda rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I'm embarrassed to admit that I read this book....it was free on the Kindle. It was actually kind of funny...following the lines of the Tom Hanks Castaway movie with a twist. I didn't want to laugh out loud at certain parts but trying to hold the laughter in made me snort in inappropriate situations.

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Jun 13, 2013 Sheri rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Whew. It was a quick read, it was a disgusting read. lol. Timothy's imagination really let the reader imagine what a decaying zombie would (not)live. His nifty little imagination also set my stomach off food for the past 2 days. It was good. More of 3 1/2 stars, but closer to 4 I guess.

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Dec 02, 2012 Erik rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

In Castaway, Tom Hanks had Wilson, a soccer ball, to keep him company. In this story, our narrator has a zombie girlfriend who's constantly trying to bite/eat him. It's a unique premise for a story, and it did make me laugh quite a few times. Overall, this was a pretty enjoyable, short read. A good escape from serious and more substantive books.

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Feb 18, 2013 Josh Hilden rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This book is a serious mash-up of the movie Castaway and a Zombie book. It makes no bones about and actually owns the reality and plays into it brilliantly.

I loved this book.

The narrators descent into madness as he forms a deep emotional bond with his zombie companion is compelling and heartbreaking. I found myself hoping and praying that they would not be sundered from one another like Tom Hanks's character and "Wilson" were in Castaway.

Yes she is dead, yes she eats flesh, yes she has an "odor"...more

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Jul 31, 2012 Nikki Frankel rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Nothing special. Writing is not that sophisticated. Plot goes nowhere despite a few avenues of possibilities. It's a quick read that requires little thought. At times it did make me chuckle. Read this if you want something pretty mindless - but don't try to eat while you read. Some gross stuff that might turn your stomach, but nothing revolutionary.

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Jun 27, 2012 Rafael rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

It's funny, even if tiresome sometimes. The experience of being stranded is brought to the reader by showing how repetitive very mundane tasks can be, such as searching for food, even if you have to worry so much about not becoming food yourself.

(view spoiler)

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Apr 22, 2012 Trish Bodine rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Interesting story. There are a few formatting problems with the Kindle version. These do mess with enjoyment of the novel. There is a page or missing in Day 29. Ally is spelled Ally and Alley throughout the novel as well. It is worth a read though if these errors won't be a bother.

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Dec 28, 2012 Sarah rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Thoroughly enjoyed this. Downloaded it after enjoying Among The Living by the same author and it didn't disappoint...funny and lighthearted yet macabre and gruesome in places..thoroughly recommend!

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Jul 29, 2012 Tony Randall rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Well, the number of laugh's may have got to double digits, just. I ended up reading this book to the end as I don't like leaving a book unread that I started.

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Jun 13, 2012 Jeannine rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Not sure what to say about this one. It was fun. I giggled often, laughed out loud a few times. But..uhm...really gross at times. And seriously...that's the ending?

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Dec 15, 2011 Nicole rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Funny funny funny! A little warped at some points and gets slow towards the end. I would read it again though!

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Jan 17, 2011 Andy Angel rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: c

WOW!!!!!!!!!!! How much fun was this book! funny while stomach churningly gross. Shame I can't give it more than 5 stars.
More please!!!!!

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About Timothy W. Long

Timothy W. Long has been writing tales and stories since he could hold a crayon and has also read enough books to choke a landfill. He has a fascination with all things zombies, a predilection for weird literature, and a deep-seated need to jot words on paper and thrust them at people.

Tim is the author of the horror novels Beyond the Barriers, Among the Living, and the forthcoming sequel - Among t...more

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