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Essays in Love

3.95 of 5 stars 3.95  ·  rating details  ·  7,759 ratings  ·  640 reviews
Essays in Love will appeal to anyone who has ever been in a relationship or confused about love. The book charts the progress of a love affair from the first kiss to argument and reconciliation, from intimacy and tenderness to the onset of anxiety and heartbreak. The work’s genius lies in the way it minutely analyses emotions we’ve all felt before but have perhaps never un ...more
Paperback, 224 pages
Published January 20th 2006 by Picador (first published January 1st 1993)
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Jul 16, 2015 FeReSHte rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: همه ! بدون شک همه البته به جز سامان
Shelves: essay, lovely
داستان خیلی ساده ست. دختر و پسری که در پروازی از پاریس به لندن کنار هم نشستند اتفاقی با هم آشنا میشن و به سرعت هم عاشق میشن. حالا قراره ما این زوج رو از این نقطه شروع تا نقطه پایان همراهی کنیم.داستان غیرعادی نیست چه بسا که تو زندگی روزمره خودمون و اطرافیانمون هم بارها با مواردی از این دست مواجه شدیم. این همه جذابیت و عمق اثر از کجا میاد که رها کردن کتاب حتی برای لحظه ای هم ناممکن میشه؟

ریزترین احساسات، برخوردها، حرف ها و واکنش های درگیر در این رابطه آنالیز میشن. انگار که عشق رو از زیر عدسی میکروس
Imagine one of your close friends - let's call him AB - has recently embarked on an intense and tumultuous relationship.
You like hearing his take on things. Since AB is introspective and curious, he is able to describe his experiences to you in fascinating detail. Since he studied philosophy, he can relate his insights to you in a wider frame of thought.

That's the tone of this book. It's not pretentious, or mushy, or a how-to. Just a quiet, devastating examination of how we act when in love.

K.D. Absolutely
Feb 13, 2011 K.D. Absolutely rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to K.D. by: 1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die (2006-2010)
Shelves: 1001-core
”Mahal mo ba ako dahil kailangan mo ako o kailangan mo ako dahil mahal mo ako?” (“Do you love me because you need me or do you need me because you love me?”) is what the character of Claudine Barretto asks the character of Piolo Pasqual in Olivia M. Lamasan’s 2004 movie Milan . This is my favorite Tagalog love story movie and this question is one of those that Alain de Botton (born 1969) tried to answer in his book On Love: A Novel (2006), also earlier published as Essays on Love in 1993.

This t
I first discovered Alain de Botton in the film 500 Days of Summer. There’s a scene in the movie where the protagonist is riding a train a while after his romantic entanglement comes to an end. As he reads de Botton’s book, The Architecture of Happiness, he happens to run into the woman, that friendly black mark on his heart, which leads to the final stage of their relationship.

I wasn’t sure what I was looking for when I read The Architecture of Happiness, but it wasn’t what I got. It wasn’t so m
Todd N
Since reading The Consolations Of Philosophy and Status Anxiety by Alain de Botton, I've been on the look out for more of his books.

In Chicago on business a few weeks ago, I managed to find a copy of On Love used for about $7 (and a rare copy of The True Believer by Eric Hoffer for $3, not to brag or anything). Check out After-Words Bookstore on E. Illinois if you get a chance.

[Aside: It's really hard to locate books by Mr. de Botton in a used bookstore. First of all he could be filed under "D"
Also posted on my blog: i'mbookedindefinitely

I have been having different slices of the same loaf. And I plan to continue on finishing the platter until kingdom come. After reading Fromm's Art of Loving, Alain de Botton's On Love was consequently partaken of.

At the outset, Art of Loving must be considered as a league of its own. The theorizing Fromm achieved was incomparable in that love, like any other concept in the social sciences, could be easily demystified, unraveled and explained by the
I love "On Love." I hate to describe this gem as something as typical as 'delightful', but it would be a completely accurate description. It was easy to read, but in no way simple. He manages to so perfectly capture the quarks and beautiful, nonsensical aspects of human nature that this book can do non other to affirm the joy of being alive. Botton's witticisms are spot-on and his linguistic juxtapositions are poignant and incredibly good humored. And yet, the novel manages to be touching whilst ...more
Quân Khuê
thường khi yêu thì không luận còn khi luận thì không yêu, đằng này, vừa yêu lại vừa luận, rõ là chỉ có đồ quái gở mới làm được trò này. Alain de Botton không phải Bottom là một tay quái gở như thế.

sách thích hợp để đọc vào những ngày mưa và những ngày thứ tư, những ngày nắng và những ngày thứ ba, trong rạp xi-nê, trong công viên, trên bãi biển hoặc trong phòng ngủ, hay bất cứ lúc nào muốn lãng mạn một tí, tỏ ra sâu sắc một tí, hay đơn giản để thưởng thức cái giọng đểu đểu một tí :)
Tuệ Trần
Quyển này cho 2 sao cũng được mà 3 sao cũng được mà 4 sao cũng được mà 5 sao cũng được mà nếu có thì cho 6 sao luôn.

Như một ý Alain de Botton dẫn trong tiểu thuyết này: ai tỏ ra quá hiểu biết về việc yêu thì hóa ra chẳng phải là yêu con mịa gì.

Và như thế: quyển sách này hoàn toàn nằm ngoài địa hạt của tình yêu. Đừng bị lừa!

Sách thích hợp với các cháu từ 8 đến 16 tuổi.

In fact, I bought this book on my birthday and read it three years ago. It's quite readable since the author wrote in numbered essays under each Chapter with various lengths, e.g. Chapter 1 Romantic Fatalism, there are 18 essays, Chapter 2 Idealization - 14, Chapter 3 The Subtext of Seduction - 16, etc. till the end, that is, Chapter 24 Love Lessons. You may try reading any chapter you like to test your love hypothesis and see come what may.

Here are some of my favorite lines:

1. Cupid's arrow eas
Boy meets girl, they fall in love, they fall out of love. Between these major beats, Alain de Botton traverses enough philosophical ground to make that old story entirely his own. It's a love story, of course, but it's intellectual more than it is romantic. It's not about some guy's fortunate/unfortunate heart, it's about a brain (with an impressive classical education) trying to come to terms with said heart.

And it's fun. And almost too quotable. I don't rush to mark up many of my books, but th
Feb 22, 2010 Brad rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: lovers
Should be a prerequisite for anyone intending to use their heart/and or genitals.

This book is fantastic preparation for a life of the heart.

It's also hilarious.

Du Button has a marvelous gift for economy; Especially wonderful considering that his books have pictures.

'On Love' details the romantic life of a young architect, jumping into his first real relationship. It follows the course of things from a chance encounter on an airplane, all the way through the grim suicide attempts and bleak philo
On Love charts a love affair between the narrator and Chloe, a woman he meets on a British Airways carrier from Paris to England. After “an exchange of biography,” the usual digression begins: romance, intimacy, heartbreak and rebirth (or progression, depending on which way you look at it).

Sharp and witty, de Botton is the kind of person you hope to be seated next to at a dinner party. While in the throes of love’s grip, watching his beloved in a grocery store, he tells us: “For a moment, I fant
I just finished this book an hour ago...and I needed this book. I picked it up at the wasn't even in any order, it was just lying in the wrong section...rejected. I'm not saying I felt an empathetic tug towards (Frued, get out!), but it is brightly colored, so I blame my crow like behaviour and the recent "get back together happiness" I was then experiencing. Basically, it "studies" love through a boy meet girl story with the protagonist as the well educated boy. It's wonderful! Upo ...more
"There is nothing in this world but mad love..." --Mary Oliver

On Love in some ways evoked a far subtler version of Sophie's World -- philosophical instruction under the guise of a well-written novel. As the narrator acknowledges at certain points, while the lover feels unique in all the world, love is actually the most universal experience, and the purpose of the narrative is certainly to explore the universality of the experience, while couching his points in a specific story. The story's arc a
On Love By Alain de Botton
On Love is the story of the narrator meeting the love of his life, Chloe, on an airplane and their relationship that follows. Filled with insights and details about love, On Love is definitely not the average love story. De Botton moves back and forth between the specifics of the narrator’s love for Chloe and their story, and his own perspective on love.
I love how deep this book is. It seems as if there is a new, thought-provoking quote in each paragraph. De Botton is
Quang Khuê
Giống như một phiên bản thiếu vắng hình ảnh của (500) Days of Summer.

Èo, đọc xong thì mình nghĩ một điều: Nếu cuốn sách này (hay tình yêu) là nghiêm túc (một chút) thì cũng buồn. Mà nếu cuốn sách này (hay tình yêu) là đùa cợt (một chút) thì cũng lại vẫn buồn.

[Hồi xưa mình từng nghĩ sẽ yêu một cô gái câm để khỏi phải nghe chửi :)))]
I completely identified with the slightly neurotic, philosophically minded main character, who is constantly analyzing his feelings, his girlfriend, and their relationship through literature and ideas. The occasional diagram or illustraton thrown into the middle of one of his musings was a nice touch; I understand the impulse to try and scientifically formulate something so totally nebulous as love, just to try and get a handle on it and maybe avoid being thrown.

I was hoping for a different end
What a wonderful book. De Botton outlines many of the psychological and social processes that occur when you fall in love and get into a relationship and he puts everything thoughtfully in a philosophical context. This sounds heavy-handed, but it's (usually) not : de Botton uses the fictional story of two people to make it concrete and digestible. Occasionally he exaggerates a little ( as in the example of the " Marxist paradox "), but almost always I had a liberating sense of recognition. Defin ...more
Maria Ella
I'm not often moved to write reviews, but given the near-universal praise that Essays in Love is receiving here, I felt obliged to warn people of how terrible it is.

I've been unfortunate enough to read two of de Botton's books this year (the other being How to Think More About Sex, somehow even worse than this). I stumbled across Essays in Love over on Amazon, and read the first of these so-called 'essays'. I sensed a spark of recognition between de Botton's initial meeting with Chloe and with o
Elisa Aquino
My first Alain de Botton novel was Kiss & Tell a few months back, and I loved every bit of it. De Botton is my favorite contemporary philosopher as of the moment, his writing has a perfect balance of emotions and intelligence. His works are so honest, vulnerable, and true that you find yourself agreeing and relating with his musings most of the time.

His works are (presumably) fiction but as a reader, you are drawn into a world of a character(s) that resembles the reality of the/an author’s—
Nije mi se svidjelo. Previše pametovanja! Pomislit ćete - filozofski pogled na ljubav pa što bi on htio? Odgovor glasi: pojma nemam, ali ne ovo što sam pročitao.
Sama ta zadaća spoznaje ljubavi njenom razumskom analizom mi nikako ne sjeda. Naravno da autor ima pravo kada kaže da bi iz svojih iskustava trebali učiti i to činiti na nekoj zdravorazumskoj osnovi, ali to s ljubavlju jednostavno ne ide. U biti, možemo mozgati o ljubavi do smaka svijeta a nećemo njome ovladati. I nećemo biti išta pamet
Paniz K
"- Is there anything wrong?
- No, why, should there be?
- I just thought you might want to talk about things.
- What things?
- About us.
- You mean about you?
- No, I mean about us.
- Well, what about us?
- I don’t know, really. It’s just a sense I have that ever since about the middle of September, we haven’t really been communicating. It’s like there’s a wall between us and you’re refusing to acknowledge it’s there.
- I don’t see a wall.
- That’s what I mean. You’re even refusing to admit there was ever
Vanessa Cavallaro
I really enjoy authors who play with prose and experiment with the traditional storytelling style. On Love, Alain de Botton's debut novel, is written in a numerical list format, each number it's own prose-poem in a way, each building on the one before.

Alain be Botton mixes philosophy and theory into a very real and human tale of love and relationships. Prose is cut in with various diagrams and visual aids, which I loved. His story is told in a very detached way, which caused me to have mixed fe
The review is coming soon on the blog as usual ( but all I can say is that I wish I read this book long time ago, like in 2008 or even before!!! I am definitely recommending this book to everyone I know and meet.
This is the bible of love, relationships and lovers behaviors presented as a novel mixed with philosophy, literature and psychology. In other terms, an unforgettable read.
Essays in Love, where were you all my life?!
Victor Morosoff
Îmi pare că Alain de Botton nu spune aproape nimic nou în cartea aceasta. El are, totuşi, meritul de a reorganiza informaţia (fie ea destul de facilă şi uneori previzibilă) într-o manieră nouă şi destul de atractivă în special pentru marele public. 3,9/5
Aquilo que mais me marcou neste livro não foi a história, nem a visao filosófica muito bem construída, mas sim o facto de que não chegamos a saber o nome da personagem principal.
Podia ser qualquer pessoa, a qualquer momento.
Andreea Andrei
"Desi ne-am implinit nevoia de a iubi, nu intotdeauna ne implinim nevoia de a dori."
Neelakshi Chakraborty
A philosophical take on love.This book will appeal to anyone who has ever been in love, or been confused about what being in love entails. Interspersed with little nuggets of wisdom, and following the trajectory of a real-life romance, this book talks about the dilemmas, anxieties, pleasures and pains of being in love.

Sample this:

"While Chloe talked, I watched her hands fiddling with the belt of her beige woolen coat ( a pair of freckles were collected below the index finger) and realized( as if
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2015 Reading Chal...: Essays in Love by Alain de Botton 2 9 Apr 20, 2015 04:16PM  
  • Falling in Love: Why We Choose the Lovers We Choose
  • Love's Work: A Reckoning with Life
  • Disappearance
  • The Psychology of Love
  • Conditions of Love: The Philosophy of Intimacy
  • Looking for the Possible Dance
  • Land
  • A Lover's Discourse: Fragments
  • Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love
  • Hallucinating Foucault
  • The End of the Story
  • The Book About Blanche and Marie
  • A General Theory of Love
  • Forever a Stranger and Other Stories
  • Schooling
  • How to Stay Sane
  • Life Is a Caravanserai
  • Celestial Harmonies
Alain de Botton is a writer and television producer who lives in London and aims to make philosophy relevant to everyday life. He can be contacted by email directly via

He is a writer of essayistic books, which refer both to his own experiences and ideas- and those of artists, philosophers and thinkers. It's a style of writing that has been termed a 'philosophy of everyday lif
More about Alain de Botton...
The Art of Travel The Consolations of Philosophy How Proust Can Change Your Life Status Anxiety The Architecture of Happiness

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“Every fall into love involves the triumph of hope over self-knowledge. We fall in love hoping we won't find in another what we know is in ourselves, all the cowardice, weakness, laziness, dishonesty, compromise, and stupidity. We throw a cordon of love around the chosen one and decide that everything within it will somehow be free of our faults. We locate inside another a perfection that eludes us within ourselves, and through our union with the beloved hope to maintain (against the evidence of all self-knowledge) a precarious faith in our species.” 189 likes
“We are all more intelligent than we are capable, and awareness of the insanity of love has never saved anyone from the disease.” 163 likes
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