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42nd out of 52 books
—
26 voters
My rating:
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Undefended Love
by
Jett Psaris
This book precisely maps a unique journey that turns the problems and conflicts that inevitably arise in relationships into opportunities for deeper connection. Illuminating case studies, guided self-inquiries, and challenging exercises help you discover how to engage your partner in a deeper dialogue and find ways of expressing the most profound and untamed aspects of you...more
Paperback, 216 pages
Published
October 12th 2000
by New Harbinger Publications
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My daughter loaned me this book, and I found it surprisingly worthwhile. A Buddhist approach to relationships, that focuses on cultivating non-attachment? Yet it has some really good stuff in it. Focus is really on finding your true self, getting away from what it calls "personality centered relationships" (even good ones.)
It has some surprising insights. For example, why the expectation of reciprocity, consensus and even trustworthiness in a relationship are to be let go...more
It has some surprising insights. For example, why the expectation of reciprocity, consensus and even trustworthiness in a relationship are to be let go...more
Why does it seem like I'm reading a bunch of marriage books? Coincidence? Probably.
I can't decide whether to give it 4 stars for awesome concept or 3 stars for my inability to enact the philosophy. However, I really do like the point that the author makes, which is that when we get upset with our partner for a particular action or lack thereof, it indicates what parts of ourselves are not whole.
The author presents the allegory of the broken toe. If our toe is fine, wh...more
I can't decide whether to give it 4 stars for awesome concept or 3 stars for my inability to enact the philosophy. However, I really do like the point that the author makes, which is that when we get upset with our partner for a particular action or lack thereof, it indicates what parts of ourselves are not whole.
The author presents the allegory of the broken toe. If our toe is fine, wh...more
Undefended love goes way beyond the average popular psychology book. This provides a simple powerful model and practical tools for deep inquiry. The authors' approach is deep and effective. If your're looking for a quick fix (or a recipe for how to fix your parnter)you won't find it here. For those willing to do the work, though, it will be a rewarding and potentially transforming experience.
It will resonate for those familiar with Enneagram theory and from psychology. A primary a...more
It will resonate for those familiar with Enneagram theory and from psychology. A primary a...more
This book is a must-read for anyone who has ever been in or will be in relationship, so I guess it's a must-read for everyone! Amazing, life-changing. Filled with easy to grasp, difficult to apply concepts about being in relationship. Truly a gift to all its readers.
It's not a perfect book, and it has a few chapters that get a little "fluffy", but aside from this, it's one of the powerful books I've seen about dismantling the programming that has us cut off from each other, and how to experience true intimacy.
I read the book as a part of a course that Gay and Katie Hendricks (Conscious Loving) conducted in Ojai California.
Undefended Love borrows a lot of ideas from Enneagram theory and from psychology. A primary assumption of the book is that in order for change to occur you must get beyond your compensatory personality into authentic emotional experience. It is only by being in the moment and feeling what is behind the personality that one can truly grow. It is a very transpersonal app...more
Undefended Love borrows a lot of ideas from Enneagram theory and from psychology. A primary assumption of the book is that in order for change to occur you must get beyond your compensatory personality into authentic emotional experience. It is only by being in the moment and feeling what is behind the personality that one can truly grow. It is a very transpersonal app...more
Didn't finish it. Just couldln't get into it.
This book was difficult for me to read because it reminded me of a lot of problems I have and of other people I know. However, I really related to the ideas laid out and want to become less defensive and more honest in my relationships. It discussed looking at ourselves and our own root problems/insecurities instead of just blaming the other person in tense situations.
I can already tell this is going to be too new-agey for me, but what did I expect, I suppose. Kind of like yoga class, I will take from it what I can and ignore all the incredibly simplistic "all-people-are-good-in-their-essence" stuff.
I think the point is to learn more about myself. to learn how I can love openly and wholly. and to understand my limits and triggers, or even just identify them. but the thing is to do it. the reflection exercises help. tbc...
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I didn't finish it. I think the ideas are great, but I was trying to apply them to a relationship that I finally realized I just wasn't supposed to be in.
Still reading, still learning and EVERYTHING, so far, is right on target! I wish this book had been written long, long ago. Sigh.
Read it. It will save your relationship. It's the most humbling and amazing book I read in 07.
Owusu
added it
Recommends it for:
guys who dnt believe in love
Shelves:
isthetimeistartedwithmathing
its gud and teachs mre love lessons
An amazing book.
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