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Facing Codependence
Pia Mellody creates a framework for identifying codependent thinking, emotions and behaviour and provides an effective approach to recovery. Mellody sets forth five primary adult symptoms of this crippling condition, then traces their origin to emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical and sexual abuses that occur in childhood. Central to Mellody's approach is the conce
...morePaperback, 272 pages
Published
June 14th 1989
by HarperOne
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In my life I’ve encountered so many people who try to manipulate and control me. Ever since I was a little girl, I hated these “games.” I thought, “Why can’t people just be real with each other?” As I got older, I became aware of the word. According to Wikipedia, “The "codependent" party exhibits behaviour which controls, makes excuses for, pities, and takes other actions to perpetuate the obviously needy party's condition, because of their desire to be needed and fear of doing any...more
The origins of this diagnosis are very interesting. Basically Pia Mellody used herself and patients with similar histories at the drug treatment center she worked at to beta test her theories on how to help people like her, and to suss out what to call what they were experiencing. Lots of it seems dead-on. It occurs to me that some of it could be over simplification. On the other hand it is so spot on, I can't imagine it being less simple without it being a case study on my life in particular. ...more
This book focuses on the childhood origins of codependence, how dysfunction and abuse creates codependent adults. I found some of the information to be extremely helpful and made correlations of which I had previously been unaware. It was very useful for me personally to understand that clinginess and love-addiction are not the only traits of codependence, but also tendencies to create emotional barriers, inability to acknowledge one's own needs and enmeshing others' emotions with your own, amon...more
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This was an amazing story of an administrator at a substance abuse facility who had to face her own addictive cycle -- codependency. Because there really was no understanding of how to treat codependency, she conducted her own informal research and used it to start building a healthy life for herself. A very interesting story.
I found this book tremendously useful and informative. If you've grown up in a family with a substance-addictive member (alcohol, drugs, or other types of addictions), this is a great read to help with understanding dysfunctional family dynamics, and help one get on the path to creating more functional relationships within their lives. Additionally, if you didn't have substance-abusers in your immediate family, but your parents may have when they were growing up, your parents still could've pa...more
Matthew Fox
added it
Fantastic book thats enlighted me to so many areas of my life that I thought I was just plain defective in. Although the book focuses mainly on the symptons Pia Mellody has published a work book thats extremley detailed and should be used in conjuction with Coda meetings or a therapist. Its called "breaking free'.One word of warning, don't try and do the work book without a support network. I tried it and it wasn't fun!!!
I was tempted to give this book 3 stars, but the author does an excellent job of explaining what codependence is. She does a great job in noting how to recognize it in oneself and in other people. However, 95% of the book explains codependence's symptoms, while 5% of the book explains a supposed solution. This solution consists merely of attending Codependents Anonymous meetings. I think that the author either should have just focused on its symptoms and left the "treatment" section ou...more
A helpful but meandering read on the topic of codependency. Part of my problem with this book is a culture of 12 step literature which "sometimes" relies solely on the author's on own experience as an authority on what is deemed a disease rather than a behavioral pattern. Very little is dealt in this book on recovery.
This is an excellent book, it helped me realize unhealthy patterns in my family that I grew up in, and how as adults my family still functions in this way. It also helps one realize why someone acts one way and why the person responds in another.
I never really understood what codependency was until i read this. I always thought it meant you weren't an independent person, I was wrong. If you even suspect you might be or know someone who is codependent, this is a worthwhile read.
Very enlightening and helpful. This is a great book to start with in order to learn about Codependence, its possible origins, and its effects.
It is an odd thing to see personality traits that you thought of as odd quirks described in detail in a book, with spot-on explanations of how they developed in the first place. It is an interesting book so far.
This book changed my life and showed me how to set healthy boundaries--very helpful
Canonical literature for me, and my coaching practice.
4/14/2011 - Almost done. Very hard read.
Pia Mellody is another therapist whose experience in her fields of addiction and codependency is extensive and vast. Terry Real references and modifies her model for recovery from codependency in his book for couples, which is timely and appropriate. I'm revisiting these concepts by going straight to the source. So far, it's been great.
I had my first ever psychiatrist's appointment, and he recommended this book. I found its description of my "issues" more thorough and accurate than anything I've read before. So much so, that, having finished the book yesterday, at the author's recommendation, I attended a Codependents Anonymous meeting today.
I dislike terms like 'codependent' - labels really. But this book has been interesting so far. A little different than the rest. I recognize people I know in it, and it offers observations to look for that I hadn't read about in other books. I hope it offers help as well.
Informational. Although it isn't meant too be a parenting book, I got some great parenting tips.
About codependency rooted in childhood abuse. I could relate to a lot of what was said.
Excellent book making codependency easy to understand and identify.
Tammi
marked it as to-read
Finding some resistance in trying to finish this.....
Tracy
marked it as to-read
Sharon
added it
Joe Combs
marked it as to-read
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