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Why Can't You Read My Mind?: Overcoming the 9 Toxic Thought Patterns that Get in the Way of a Loving Relationship
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Why Can't You Read My Mind?: Overcoming the 9 Toxic Thought Patterns that Get in the Way of a Loving Relationship

3.90  ·  Rating Details  ·  81 Ratings  ·  7 Reviews
Most people think that poor communication is the reason why so many relationships end, but it's actually the way we learn to think about our partners and our problems that kills trust, erodes intimacy, and cripples communication. In Why Can't You Read My Mind?, psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein reveals-for the first time-the nine toxic thought patterns at work in virtually ev ...more
Paperback, 210 pages
Published November 3rd 2003 by Da Capo Press (first published November 2nd 2003)
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Erika RS
Jun 01, 2012 Erika RS rated it it was ok
My goal: find a good book about communication in relationships. There are endless books about communication and endless books about relationship, and most of them are written for an audience whose standard reading fare is magazine articles. I chose Why Can’t You Read My Mind? Overcoming the 9 Toxic Thought Patterns that Get in the Way of a Loving Relationship by Jeffrey Bernstein and Susan Magee because it was both relatively well rated and available at my library. My rating: 2/5

Why Can’t You Re
...more
Brooke
Apr 16, 2008 Brooke rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: yes
Recommended to Brooke by: everyone in a relationship wondering how to help it
This is the best relationship self help book I've ever seen. I buy it for most of my girls when they move in with a boy, just because I know how frustraiting it can be.

I'm living with my 3rd boy friend, and it's finally easier. I can come home walk into a messy place and NOT take it personal. It has nothing to do with me. I didn't know that until I read this book.

This book teaches you how to communicate verbally those things you expect him/her to be able to 'just know'. No one can tell what's w
...more
Ariel
Nov 15, 2011 Ariel rated it really liked it
Shelves: self-help
This book uses the principles of cognitive therapy to help you turn off your "toxic thinking". The author proposes that if you thought your way out of love than you can think your way back in. Like most of the relationship books I have read the solution starts with you. You cannot change your partner, only yourself. You have to accept your responsibility for the problems and you are the only one who can fix them. You can't expect your partner to make you happy by being able to "read your mind". ...more
Isaac
Another self-helpy type book that I began a long time ago and just ended now. It's main worthwhile point in my opinion is the concept of "Toxic Thoughts".

"Your thoughts can get you into trouble, however, when the negative ones stop being occasional and become more frequent, habit-like, unrealistic, intense, and distorted. When that happens, you're experiencing toxic thinking."

"By controlling our toxic thinking, we can control our feelings."

As I am discovering by the number of "self-helpy" type b
...more
Andrea
Oct 08, 2008 Andrea rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: any woman
This book allowed me to see myself in a relationship and understand the thoughts I were having were sabotaging my own happiness. Regardless of the relationship this book will help anyone looking for answers from their partner....when their partner isn't talking.
Cassandra
Feb 04, 2011 Cassandra rated it liked it
Offered some helpful tips; well suited to anyone who finds themselves being occasionally irrationally negative in relationships. I'm glad I read it. We'll see if I can put Mr. Bernstein's methods into practice..
Cynthia
Jul 03, 2008 Cynthia is currently reading it
My husband of 28 years is very interested in why I'm reading this book.
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