Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires and the Respect He Desperately Needs
Psychological studies affirm it, and the Bible has been saying it for ages. Cracking the communication code between husband and wife involves understanding one thing: that unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. Now you and your mate can start fresh with the ground-breaking guidance that Dr. Emerson Eggerichs provides in this book. Hi
...morePaperback, Large Print, 524 pages
Published
April 16th 2010
by Christian Large Print
(first published 2004)
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I read this book as a part of a small group of friends. I tried to enter into the discussion with an open mind, but I have to be honest: this book is terrible. There's just no easy way to say this: the author is a chauvinist. The basic premise of the book is based on Ephesians 5:33: "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." It built a case up for why women should always respect their husbands, regardless of his actions, and thu...more
I have to say that I did not enjoy reading this book at all and would not recommend it to anyone. First, it bothers me that he bases the vast majority of the books basis on a single verse. The description for this book says that Dr. Emerson has done extensive biblical research on his proposed idea of men needing respect and women needing love. However, I see very little that verifies this claim. Extensive biblical research would show Dr. Emerson’s thorough and careful exegesis of Ephesians 5:33,...more
Jan 05, 2009
Pink
rated it
5 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
any one who doesn't even know how to talk to their spouse anymore
Recommended to Pink by:
my bestie, Kels
Shelves:
discovering-who-i-am-inside-and-out
The best marriage book I've found so far. Based on the fact that women need love and men need respect. For years that concept turned me off of reading this book, until the wall was so great that I had nowhere else to turn to find out how to talk to my husband again. This book saved my marriage by teaching me how to talk to my hubby in a way that showed him what I was feeling in my heart in a way he understood.
By the way, I don't recommend taking this book from page 1 if you are in dire straights...more
By the way, I don't recommend taking this book from page 1 if you are in dire straights...more
Like many Christian books, the authors have a really insightful point, namely that women need love and men need respect. They make this point really well in about 10 pages. The rest of the book is a broken record containing this same point told over... and over... and over... and over... and over... and over... and... well, you get the point. Some of the stories are humorous, and they definitely help make the point in the beginning. But after about 25 pages there is no new information, just a re...more
Sep 20, 2008
Kipahni
rated it
2 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
2008-books,
marital-bliss
okay don't misunderstand me.
I think it is important for a wife to respect her husband and a husband to love his wife. That being said I didn't care for the way this book was written. The majority of the book was instered letters and e-mails that Mr. Eggerichs recieved praising what miraculous wonders were done in their marriage once she started respecting her husband or He started loving his wife.
I would have liked to have seen more "research" that was mentioned in the book.
All in all I think th...more
I think it is important for a wife to respect her husband and a husband to love his wife. That being said I didn't care for the way this book was written. The majority of the book was instered letters and e-mails that Mr. Eggerichs recieved praising what miraculous wonders were done in their marriage once she started respecting her husband or He started loving his wife.
I would have liked to have seen more "research" that was mentioned in the book.
All in all I think th...more
Jun 12, 2009
Annette
rated it
4 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
non-fiction-self-help,
own
My mother bought this book for my then-fiance and I when we announced our engagement, and both of us read it... most of it, anyway. Two years into our marriage, I will rate the advice as "excellent," and I've thus given it four stars. However, like so many "self-help"-type books, there is clear evidence of the author stretching out his material to fill enough pages to justify a solid $25 hardcover. In other words, read the first half of the book (or maybe even less) and you'll have gleaned every...more
I appreciated the book - and the message was fantastically necessary and well-stated - but it was well-stated by the end of the third or fourth chapter, and the remainder of the book was actually just restatement and repetition.
Nevertheless, I recommend this book to anyone who is married, engaged, or would like to ever be married. The authors truly do have wise advice and insight to impart on the different needs of men and women, why it is as it is, and how to operate within a marriage to meet t...more
Nevertheless, I recommend this book to anyone who is married, engaged, or would like to ever be married. The authors truly do have wise advice and insight to impart on the different needs of men and women, why it is as it is, and how to operate within a marriage to meet t...more
This is just another pop-psychology, appealing-to-the-masses-but-not-the-truth, feel-good book. It is so popular because it is in the same vein as The 5 Love Languages, His Needs/Her Needs, etc. which center on the anti-biblical/humanistic view of people as "love tanks"/"love banks" rather than the biblical understanding of who we really are (Gen 6:5; Jer 2:13; 17:9; Ecc 9:3; Mk 7:20-23; Gal 5:17; Rom 7, 8)
Yes, it does uses some Scripture, and even part of the book is true, yet any truth is shou...more
Yes, it does uses some Scripture, and even part of the book is true, yet any truth is shou...more
I love the ideas in this book and feel they are a very important part of a healthy marriage. My husband and I did this with our small group and we watched the video each week. To be honest we did not do most of the recommended reading because what we did read was very repetitive and long. I do feel guilty about that but we still got a lot out of the videos each week. The questions that went along with the video were difficult in the fact that they were wordy and sometimes felt rhetorical (making...more
Love & Respect is one of the worst so-called biblical books on marriage that I have ever read which is not an over exaggeration. The writer's egregious eisegesis should not be ignored. Dr. Emerson Eggerichs clearly hates women and uses twisted biblical concepts to degrade and humiliate women while promoting male superiority. At no time does he acknowledge that love is God' first priority. His video series is equally demeaning to women and glorifies the male ego to the exclusion of a woman's...more
I don’t know if everyone will view this book with the same ‘Aha’ I did or if it is just the timing in my life.
Some women don’t like this book because they view it as blaming women; my husband hates every sermon on marriage because he views it as blaming men. I think this book is very balanced and contains the proper amount of disclaimers on stereotypes, etc; and gives hundred examples of how both sides can start off the crazy cycle of her disrespect makes him unloving, repeat (though once he sa...more
Some women don’t like this book because they view it as blaming women; my husband hates every sermon on marriage because he views it as blaming men. I think this book is very balanced and contains the proper amount of disclaimers on stereotypes, etc; and gives hundred examples of how both sides can start off the crazy cycle of her disrespect makes him unloving, repeat (though once he sa...more
In this Focus on the Family book, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs makes a very simple proposition; most of the problems between a man and his wife are communication gaps. Furthermore, these divides can be overcome if the couple can embrace the true meaning of Ephesians 5:33, “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” While this may seem like easy concepts to understand, Dr. Eggerichs explains the common ways men and women fail to grasp them. Using...more
Jun 28, 2012
Stella
rated it
5 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
To Improve Marriage
Ephesians 5:33 has been there of two thousand years! Why do we miss it!
Husbands are to Love their Wives, and Wives are to Respect their Husbands.
Some think this is archic thinking, but it's not
As survy of men who were asked... "For the rest of your life, would you rather be loved or would you rather have respect?" ...Overwhelmingly the men perfered Respect over love.
Our Husbands need our love...But they need our Respect. They need it unconditionally.
God created women to be loving and nurturing.....more
Husbands are to Love their Wives, and Wives are to Respect their Husbands.
Some think this is archic thinking, but it's not
As survy of men who were asked... "For the rest of your life, would you rather be loved or would you rather have respect?" ...Overwhelmingly the men perfered Respect over love.
Our Husbands need our love...But they need our Respect. They need it unconditionally.
God created women to be loving and nurturing.....more
If you read nothing else regarding marriage and relationships, read this book!!! I have read many books, and attended many classes, seminars, etc. and nothing compares. This is the best, most interesting, insightful, profound, life-changing resource I have ever come across on this topic. You and your entire family will be blessed by this–even if your spouse does not go through it with you.
Dr. Eggerichs understands the power of habits or cycles, which can perpetuate themselves over long periods o...more
Dr. Eggerichs understands the power of habits or cycles, which can perpetuate themselves over long periods o...more
I read this book because it was one of the books that Dave Ramsey said he required everyone who worked for him to read. Sometimes the book got a little repetitive, and I didn't agree with a few things, but it gave me some things to think about. He gives a quick review of what men need from women and women need from men on page 260.
Quoting a man with cerebral palsy: "God is preparing me for heaven. . . I am in His oven, so to speak. I am being baked for an eternal purpose. I am not finished yet....more
Quoting a man with cerebral palsy: "God is preparing me for heaven. . . I am in His oven, so to speak. I am being baked for an eternal purpose. I am not finished yet....more
I believe this author has it wrong thinking women are more interested in "FEELING loved" than in BEING respected and treated like intellectual equals. So many women go out of their way to respect (and love) their men to the point of being doormats and yet still feel unloved and disrespected, and are then hit on the head with Bible passages to boot.
It would be beneficial if the author spent equal time showing men healthy ways to communicate what they need in order to feel respected (and loved). I...more
It would be beneficial if the author spent equal time showing men healthy ways to communicate what they need in order to feel respected (and loved). I...more
Love and Respect written by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is a turning point for any marriage, healthy or not. Decoding the Love and Respect Relationship is the central theme of the book, based upon Ephesians 5:33 [Open in Logos Bible Software (if available)] . We want these basic needs fulfilled and without them, our marriage becomes a bitter battleground for the enemy.
Most often we read the book because someone recommended it. A few years ago when my husband handed me a copy of the book and said “I sa...more
Most often we read the book because someone recommended it. A few years ago when my husband handed me a copy of the book and said “I sa...more
May 17, 2010
Katie Casey
rated it
5 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
married or engaged couples
The Lost Meaning of Ephesians 5:33
Ephesians 5:33 (NIV) states: “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” I think most of us GET the “love” part; yet tend to overlook the “respect” part. In his book, Dr. Eggerichs unpacks this verse for us with plenty of personal stories, scientific studies on gender differences, and additional scripture. Eggerichs explains and illustrates the impact of this verse on relationships with what he c...more
Ephesians 5:33 (NIV) states: “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” I think most of us GET the “love” part; yet tend to overlook the “respect” part. In his book, Dr. Eggerichs unpacks this verse for us with plenty of personal stories, scientific studies on gender differences, and additional scripture. Eggerichs explains and illustrates the impact of this verse on relationships with what he c...more
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, president of Love and Respect Ministries, has taken the teachings from his seminars and put them into book format.
With three decades of experience, Dr. Eggerichs is committed to helping couples change the way they communicate and treat each other. He teaches breakthrough techniques and shows couples how to stop the crazy cycle of conflict and learn to reach new levels of intimacy. This book is based on the idea that a wife’s driving need is to feel loved, while a husband’s...more
Feb 07, 2010
Sueij
rated it
2 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
Linda Murray
Recommended to Sueij by:
Uncle Jerry
This book needs two ratings for me:
on the topic of love and respect in marriage: 4 or 5 stars
on his theology and 110% framing of love and respect by that: 1 or 2 stars
On the love and respect part:
Neat ideas. The premise is that what women need from a relationship is first and foremost love, but what men need first and foremost is respect. When a wife doesn't feel loved, she is likely to act in ways that feel disrespectful. When a husband doesn't feel respected, he is likely to act in ways that f...more
on the topic of love and respect in marriage: 4 or 5 stars
on his theology and 110% framing of love and respect by that: 1 or 2 stars
On the love and respect part:
Neat ideas. The premise is that what women need from a relationship is first and foremost love, but what men need first and foremost is respect. When a wife doesn't feel loved, she is likely to act in ways that feel disrespectful. When a husband doesn't feel respected, he is likely to act in ways that f...more
I have always viewed books on relationships to be a little off. They always tend to lean in one direction. But I wanted to give this one a fair shot and I went into it with a clear mind.
This book revolves around the idea that women need to show respect and men need to show love. And it stops there. It left a bad taste in my mouth. I know many women that deserve respect and many men that crave love. However this isn’t explored. It may have worked at some point, but men like women with a soft side...more
This book addresses a tremendous lack in literature and teaching within the church regarding marriage. Dr. Eggerichs is absolutely correct to emphasize the respect that wives are called to give their husbands. The main concept is Scripturally sound: husbands are called to love their wives unconditionally and sacrificially; as Christ loves the church; wives are called to unconditionally respect their husbands with words and actions.
Unfortunately, the manner in which Dr. Eggerichs expounds upon th...more
Unfortunately, the manner in which Dr. Eggerichs expounds upon th...more
I have always struggled, probably due to my melancholy personality, with feeling loved. Intellectually I knew I was loved, but emotionally I couldn't feel it. This has caused a lot of heart ache for me that I really didn't understand, so when a couple of friends told me I had to read this book, that it had helped their marriages, I was willing, but skeptical that it could make a difference.
I was wrong. In the two days since reading the book, I have felt so much love. The book taught me how my hu...more
I was wrong. In the two days since reading the book, I have felt so much love. The book taught me how my hu...more
Love and Respect is written for Christians of general "goodwill" who want to mold their personal lives and marriages, absent abuse, to the Scriptural standard articulated in Ephesians 5. I don't think it possible for anyone to read this book without understanding, with the greatest clarity, how Dr. Eggerichs defines love and respect because he uses simple language, bullet points and repeats himself constantly. On the other hand, maybe that's not a bad thing when trying to transmit a counter cult...more
I like the idea that women need love and men need respect. When I read this basic statement, a light bulb went off in my head because this is how my husband and I function as people in a relationship. However, I do not think that this concept applies to ALL relationships. Some men value love more than respect, and women value respect more than love. And they all value both. Futhermore, I feel like the point of this book was made within the first few chapters. After that, it just got very repetit...more
I really like the central message of this book. I've believed for years that one key to a happy marriage is for the wife to protect her husband's dignity and for the husband to let his wife know beyond a doubt that she's the ONLY woman in the world for him. I am thrilled to see this essential message in a book with examples of how to actually live this out.
I believe that every person is unique and that we don't fit neatly into packages, but I do believe there are differences in men and women esp...more
I believe that every person is unique and that we don't fit neatly into packages, but I do believe there are differences in men and women esp...more
I could relate directly with much of what Dr Eggerichs has written about in his practical experiences dealing people, however I become weary when I read some statements in his book which I did not agree with in relation to his understanding of scripture. Please read Mark Baker's
A Thorough Review & Examination of the Love & Respect book
I agree with Nathan Lugbill (Pastoral assistant, Capitol Hill Baptist Church, Washington, DC) when he says this book (Love & Respect) is well written...more
A Thorough Review & Examination of the Love & Respect book
I agree with Nathan Lugbill (Pastoral assistant, Capitol Hill Baptist Church, Washington, DC) when he says this book (Love & Respect) is well written...more
The author's main point is insightful and makes sense. It is that men need respect and women need love. Since reading it, I've sought to say or do things in a way that, I think, would make my husband feel more respected. I've noticed him being more loving in very small (yet significant) ways. So, it's proving to work for me, at least. I'm thankful to the friend who loaned me the book!
I only gave it three stars because the author quotes a TON of scripture, and then talks about whatever he's quote...more
I only gave it three stars because the author quotes a TON of scripture, and then talks about whatever he's quote...more
Apr 15, 2009
LeeAnn
rated it
5 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
self-help,
marriage-and-family
I have realized from this book how deeply ingrained men's and women's differences are. Both are important and both are absolutely necessary, but it is time to recognize we are not the same and the same things do not motivate all. In a simple statement from the book, "Husbands and wives need each other." It is not a weakness to recognize this; it is a strength upon which to build.
The main scripture that Dr. Eggerichs uses is one in Ephesians 5:33. He uses a different translation than I do, and I...more
The main scripture that Dr. Eggerichs uses is one in Ephesians 5:33. He uses a different translation than I do, and I...more
Any book is completely dangerous when you try to make it law. However, the author here is completely careful:
"Most men..."
"Most women..."
Skimming for the gold and letting the impurities burn away, this book is an excellent resource to help in marital communication. I have a difficult time communicating my feelings and this book has helped me in a long ways to communicate with my beautiful wife.
What I appreciate most about the book is the necessity in changing my instincts. Where my instincts tel...more
"Most men..."
"Most women..."
Skimming for the gold and letting the impurities burn away, this book is an excellent resource to help in marital communication. I have a difficult time communicating my feelings and this book has helped me in a long ways to communicate with my beautiful wife.
What I appreciate most about the book is the necessity in changing my instincts. Where my instincts tel...more
| topics | posts | views | last activity | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Love and Respect, Eggerichs | 3 | 54 | Aug 20, 2008 07:29am |

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