Love and War Devotional for Couples: The Eight-Week Adventure That Will Help You Find the Marriage You Always Dreamed of
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Love and War Devotional for Couples: The Eight-Week Adventure That Will Help You Find the Marriage You Always Dreamed of

4.16 of 5 stars 4.16  ·  rating details  ·  1,315 ratings  ·  153 reviews
A Realistic Guide to the Marriage You’ve Always Dreamed Of

Is your relationship with your spouse far from the union you’d hoped it would be? John and Stasi Eldredge know about the realities of marriage—and they know why it’s so important to take hold of the dreams you once had and see God fulfill them.

In this eight-week devotional, John and Stasi will guide you and your s...more
Hardcover, 144 pages
Published October 5th 2010 by Waterbrook Press (first published December 9th 2009)
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Kay Oswin
After leaving my marriage of 30 years this book tore my heart. You may question why I'd be crazy enough to read it. I still believe in fabulous marriages as I've seen too many not to believe. I am hopeful that one day I may have a marriage that allows vulnerability, passion and openness like the one explored in this book, even the doing the work to get a marriage this sounds good to me.

This book is a powerful tool to open the creaky doors, for those brave enough to go to the vulnerable places an...more
John
This is the most honest book on marriage that I've ever read, and the one that has the most promise to be truly helpful.

I've read marriage books that basically say follow these principles, or just learn these handy techniques, and all your troubles will melt away. And I've read other well-meaning books that are some variation of a Bible lesson: here's what God intends for you to be as a godly husband and wife, so just obey all these verses to guarantee you a picture-perfect relationship.

John &...more
Maggie
We read this book for our home group (bible study).
Because I generally despise John Eldredge's stuff, I probably never ever would have read this on my own, so I started off w/MAJOR reservations, including: the crap crap crap writing (think of how many incomplete sentences are acceptable for a book written in a candid manner -- then add about a bazillion & you've got this book; potentially shaky theology thanks to more movie illustrations than biblical illustrations; overuse & abuse of ce...more
Rachel Crooks
Although I'm not married, I was interested to see what John and Stasi Eldredge would write about marriage after reading Captivating and Wild at Heart. I was continually impressed by the honesty and courage of this couple in exposing the highs and lows of their marriage. I think whenever people have enough bravery to own up to something difficult, it frees those around them to do the same, which leads to more honest communication and greater communities.
I was also impressed by the amount of se...more
Annetter
I am not a fan of self-help or how-to books, and I haven't cared much for the Eldredge style. I began reading this book because I value my relationship with my husband. I struggled through the first 3 or 4 chapters. There are comments and stereotypical assumptions about men and women that don't really work well for either me or my husband. But by about the 4th chapter, the authors began developing some very pertinent ideas, looking at relationships and their contexts past and present. I learned...more
Laura
We live in a world where most people don't want to admit that their marriage isn't all "happily ever after" and they wait until it is too late to start talking about it. Love and War was a refreshing breath of reality where even though John and Stasi Eldredge are running a wonderful Christian ministry they let us know that they are just like the rest of us. They don't have a perfect marriage (because, honestly, perfect marriages don't exist), they struggle with many of the same things you and I...more
Amydeanne
Don’t be scared off by the title!

Love and War by John and Stasi Eldredge is out just in time for Valentine’s Day. And what else could Love and War be about other than marriage! I mean where else do the terms love and war work so well together? lol. I love my marriage, but sometimes you want to call war because of disagreements.

I’ll admit I wasn’t expecting to get much out of this book. We’ve (Mr. C & I) been together for a long time, so I’ve read a lot of marriage counselling books over the...more
Hope
This was a very lovely book. Very rarely do we ever discuss the very real presence of the enemy in our lives, who actively seeks to devour, sabotage, steal, kill, and destroy. John and Stasi call attention to this evil force and reminds us that he has a special interest in seeing marriages fail. Many times in marriage, spouses end up seeing each other as the enemy, when in fact it is actually satan against us. The premise of this book is that we are living in God's great Love Story, which is set...more
Daniel Butcher
Love & War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful in Your Marriage by John & Stasi Eldredge
John and Stasi Eldredge in Love & War let their readers into a secret. Marriage is a battle, it’s more than a battle it’s a war and failure would be devastating. The Eldredges use their own marriage and those they have counseled to detail how this war for your marriage is taking place and strategies in order to win the day. The key principal that they teach is that a couple should include God...more
Wendy Alton
http://wendyalton.blogspot.com/2011/0...

My husband and I were on day 3 of silence when Love & War arrived, and despite my initial excitement when I ordered the book, I was so stubborn in our nasty fight that I refused to pick it up and start reading it. In fact, it wasn't until after 5 days of silence that we somehow recovered, and only then did I reluctantly pick up the book. How foolish was I to be so utterly stubborn. Why in the world would I actually live through 5 days of silence in my...more
Dave
My fiancé and I went through this book together as a weekly devotional. We both found it to be very challenging and a great filter to sift our relationship through. In doing so we have found areas of weakness, great strength, as well as many areas of common ground, all of which have helped us grow and gain a deeper knowledge about each others' heart and soul. It became an excellent tool to find out what the honest condition of each others' spiritual life really is.

I find the book to be very real...more
Pauline
My husband & I read this together & both loved it! Stark realism, humility, and a wonderful perspective about the war that all marriages face as we glorify God through our relationships! Highly recommend! Greg & I will be doing a bible study for couples based on this series. We are going to read it again...chapter by chapter to discuss more in depth together! Fight for your marriage!
Cheryl C.
A truly powerful, life-changing devotional for couples who seek to have the marriage they always wanted is what you'll find in Love and War Devotional for Couples: The Eight-Week Adventure That Will Help You Find the Marriage You Always Dreamed Of.

In this moving devotional filled with Bible-based advice, Scripture, prayer and exercises, couples can spend time working toward the marriage they have always longed for; a marriage destined and encouraged by God.

What the reader will find in Love &...more
Nikole Hahn
Step One involves a change in our perspective. We take the life we have right now, and we say to ourselves, We are in this together.” Pg. 118

It's difficult to read a book aimed at challenging marriages when my marriage is healthy. I am not and never have been “disappointed” in my marriage and never felt “responsible” for his unhappiness when he's always been happy. Overall, the mix of humor, wisdom and personal experiences make this book ideal for troubled marriages, except for the introduction....more
Pastoralmusings
John and Stasi Eldredge have written a very good book here.
With amazing transparency, wisdom, and painful reflection on their own lives they give us much needed direction.
Marriage is not only about love. There is the need for a commitment to loving and cleaving to each other. For a couple to truly make it and have a happy marriage, they will have to fight. We must war for good marriage.
Sadly, too many approach marriage with a romantic sort of story book mentality and then give up when the going...more
Jessica
Love and War by John and Stasi Eldridge has some great ideas to get you inspired to change the way you relate to your spouse. One of my favorite thoughts from the book is the reminder that God uses marriage to illustrate His love and relationship for us- and the note that the world is watching! What a motivator to remember that the way my husband and I relate to each other is being watched by others and that we can be an example of God's love and desire for us! though scary when you think about...more
Farrah
Whether you are a Christian or not, this is still a great marital resource to bring more insight, understanding, and ways to help bridge any gap. Of course with all relationship resources, it’s always good to look through it together. I definitely give it 4 stars for a resource to stay on the shelves in case I need occasional reminders at later dates.

My own personal reminder…a reminder of how important and how good it feels to share with our significant others.

We share in the adventure when we s
...more
Clockstein Lockstein
Love and War by John & Stasi Eldredge is a must read help for marriage from the authors of Wild at Heart and Captivating. The Eldredges use God's love for his people and Christ's marriage to the church as their guide for how successful marriage should work. It's too easy for each spouse to live only for themselves and fulfill the need to always be right, but that's why the divorce rate is so high in this country. They are emphatic in their belief that no marriage is a mistake; God has guided...more
Proud Book Nerd
I received this book from the publisher as part of a blog tour. I had heard of John Eldredge, so I was excited to have a chance to read something he'd written.

This book is VERY good. VERY insightful. It is a Christian book about marriage, and it talks all about what God intended marriage to be. It was an eye-opener, insofar as it really helped me see why Satan is trying to hard to undermine marriage - not only by attacking intact marriage, but also by convincing people that it's irrelevant and...more
Jennifer
It’s easy to begin something new excited and optimistic. And then the moment something less-than-perfect happens it might seem like the whole world is crashing down. John and Stasi Eldredge offer guidance to husband and wives who find themselves wondering what went wrong in their marriages. People aren’t perfect. Instead, the Eldredges point out that people are insecure about themselves, unreasonable in their expectations, and inapt when it comes to effective communication. But they tell us that...more
Heather
Together, John and Stasi Elridge wrote an honest and brave depiction of Marriage. Love and War is a unique look at marriage from the perspectives of the husband and the wife. The authors share with the reader the challenges of marriage that they faced and they cleverly use their experiences to tie in biblical truths.

John and Stasi teach readers how to discern that there is an enemy that strives to stop love in all its forms. They explain how to handle differences and accept our styles of relatin...more
Jonathan
Worth reading as a couple. My wife liked most of it, though she hated a couple of things. I would say the same. A good summary would be three principles for a healthy marriage that the authors give about 2/3 of the way through (I'm quoting from memory here). Each partner should:

- build a strong relationship with God;
- deal with their "brokenness";
- learn to fight for each other's welfare in the spiritual realm.

The sum of these three is that marriage isn't just about two people. (So, a lot of tim...more
Julie (julie37619)
I've enjoyed books by John Eldredge before and this one was not a disappointment. I was thrilled that Waterbrook/Multnomah provided me with a copy for review! The best summary I can give of the book, is a quote from pg. 208:

"We live in a love story, set in the midst of a war. Love is our destiny and all hell is set against it."

John and Stasi present both practical and spiritual tools for overcoming the enemy in the battleground that is marriage. While the book occasionally veered into territory...more
Al
Love and War: Finding the Marriage you’ve Dreamed Of
John and Stasi Eldredge
Book Notes

1. Asking for your marriage to flourish without God is like asking a tree to blossom without sun and water.
2. In marriage, you have been entrusted with the heart of another human being: loving and defending this heart next to you is part of your great quest.
3. Marriage is going to ask everything of you for:
a. Marriage is hard work; and
b. We are a royal mess
4. We all have a way that we do life: the way we handle...more
Don
If you're newly married and have never done a marriage study with your spouse before this is an excellent book for you. It offers some basic biblical truths about God's intention for your marriage but doesn't go too far into the details of it. If you've been through marriage studies with your spouse before this book probably won't offer much new information. The writing style is annoying with John and Stasi going back and forth writing the sections. My wife and I stopped reading this after Ch 2...more
Bryon
"We live in a love story, set in the midst of a war. Love is our destiny, and all hell is set against it," write John and Stasi Eldredge in their latest book, Love and War. Written in classic Wild at Heart style, the reader is drawn in early. We are characters in a story much larger than ourselves. This is information we need to have. Ignorance is what causes so many marriages to fail.

An enemy is hellbent on the destruction of our marriages and our lives. Like Elisha with his servant, the Eldred...more
Eric Herr
Our Life Group at church is beginning this book. We will be reading this over the next several weeks.

This book is divided into 12 chapters and their in an accompanying Participant's Guide with eight sections. Interestingly enough, chapters 8 & 9 from the book was not included in the weekly discussion guide but my Life Group covered those as well in our final session of this book last night. I was one of two facilitators from our Life Group so I was pretty involved in the reading and analysis...more
Tal
This was a very good book - for all married couples no matter what their marriage is like. It is almost always easy to see my own thinking and understand where it is coming from. (Do realize that I said "almost always". Sometimes, I'm not so sure.) It is a different matter altogether to look at something from someone else's POV. This book was great for that - especially being a woman married to a man - we think/feel differently at times. There were times when I found myself in this book and it h...more
Dave Johnson
First let me say that this wasn't necessarily a bad book. It just wasn't that transcendent book I hoped for. There are definitely some good nuggets of wisdom in here for married couples, particularly the bits about prayer and listening to God were mostly good. I thought that they were brutally honest about their own lives and experiences and really drove home that marriage is about two imperfect people living together, so expect some problems to arise. All that was fine.

My issues were that, over...more
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John Eldredge is an author (you probably figured that out), a counselor, and teacher. He is also president of Ransomed Heart, a ministry devoted to helping people discover the heart of God, recover their own heart in his love, and learn to live in his Kingdom. John grew up in the suburbs of Los Angeles (which he hated), and spent his boyhood summers on his grandfather’s cattle ranch in eastern Ore...more
More about John Eldredge...
Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul The Sacred Romance: Drawing Closer to the Heart of God Waking the Dead: The Glory of a Heart Fully Alive The Journey of Desire: Searching for the Life We Always Dreamed of

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“You would not ask someone with a broken arm to swim the English Channel, so you cannot demand that the broken to live as if they were whole.” 10 likes
“We are created for adventure, and if we cannot find one, we start blowing things out of proportion so it feels like we have one.” 8 likes
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