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The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship --Toltec Wisdom Book

4.23 of 5 stars 4.23  ·  rating details  ·  20,014 ratings  ·  573 reviews
In the tradition of Carlos Castaneda, the author distills essential Toltec wisdom on human relationships as well as techniques for integrating this awareness into daily life.
Hardcover, 240 pages
Published November 1st 2002 by Amber-Allen Publishing (first published January 1st 1999)
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Laura
Mastery of Love is one of the most influential books I have ever read. I recommend it to all of my girl friends and I think every guy should read it as well. Ruiz also wrote The Four Agreements...very good read but I liked Mastery of Love more b/c as a girl that has grown up in a (pleasantly) divorced family, I am a skeptic of love and it’s hard for me to open up.

This book starts off discussing love on a conceptual level but then turns into more of a How To book...which is the part I enjoyed th
...more
Michele Harrod
This is one of those perfect books, that sits on my bookshelf, and then miraculously falls into my bag, just as I head away for a long weekend - just when I need it the most. You know the times, those short breaks, when you need to take some time out to try and make sense of the world, and where you fit into it. This book answered those questions perfectly. In fact Don Miguel Ruiz's explanation of the hell that is earth, and how and why we have so foolishly created this for ourselves, was just w ...more
Matt
Disclaimer – I doubt I ever would have chosen to read this book without a recommendation from someone else. It was lent to me by a co-worker, and I read it, in part, out of respect for her.

The author: Miguel Ruiz once went to medical school and became a surgeon. Later in life after a traumatic accident he forsook it all to learn the healer’s ways and become an “Eagle-Knight” in the Nagual tradition. He has since studied the “Toltec” people and written about their teachings. He has written a few
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Shannon
We practice and practice, and we master how to be what we are not.
Soon we forget who we really are, and we start to live our images. We create not just one image, but many different images according to the different groups of people we associate with. p20

If you take your happiness and put it in someone's hands, sooner or later,s he is giong to break it. If you give your happiness to someone else, she can always take it away. Then if happiness can only come from inside of you and is the result of
...more
Brad
I just can't get past the bad writing. The concepts occasionally seemed worth a bit of thought yet by the time the author finished beating them into the ground through repetitive poor sentences I disregarded the ideas in disgust. Really, I didn't know someone could rephrase a single thought so many times without once expressing it in a succinct, (or even quasi-intelligent,) manner. Ah well, I guess I won't be able to 'self-help' after all... Ghost writer, anyone?


Liz
This book certainly contains some good and well needed advice, for example it frequently stresses the importance of self acceptance and self love, a concept which I think many of us struggle with.

However, I found the book difficult at times because it frequently seemed to fall into the realm of over simplification. Perhaps non western based concepts of 'enlightenment' are supposed to be by nature - simple - and I am missing the point? But I'm not entirely convinced of this. I agree that Western
...more
Ursy
This book has very little and everything to do with creating meaningful relationships with others. It's sole focus is about creating a loving relationship with yourself. It gives real world examples of how we create our own hell. If we can create it, we can destroy it. This book looks at how and why we've created a dream of hell and sheds light on how we can turn that dream into a dream of heaven.

Although I was not big on the slightly religious undertones in some of the chapters, I do believe th
...more
Kennia Belikov
What beautiful messages! Don Miguel Ruiz writes of the toltec teachings on love. The toltecs were known as men and woman of knowledge and for thousands of years they have passed down their knowledge. I can definitely see myself going back to this book and rereading any chapter. The reason I gave it 3 stars was because there was a lot of repetition and the writing was not the best BUT I will not let this stop you from reading this book. I'm going to read more of Don Miguel Ruiz in the future!
Christie
Ruiz's delivery irritates me just as much as Thomas Friedman of the World is Flat. Of course, I have been in the minority before, and I don't mind being in it again.

On the positive side, this book contains some healthy and true messages about how we love, and why we fail, and how so many of our actions and reactions are based on fear. There were some messages in this book that I needed to hear, but I could have removed a lot of fluff of the analogies and stories. They either just felt off the wa
...more
Esmeralda Jimenez
The best spiritual book I have ever read. It teaches you how you can reach happiness and love, within yourself. Once you have mastered self-love and have healed from emotional wounds, happiness is achieved and this is vital for a healthy loving relantionship. This book will have a dramatic influence in 2010 for me, just what I needed. Can't wait to start reading the Four Agreements.

"Happiness can only come from inside of you and is the result of your love. When you are aware that no one else ca
...more
Amy Lesher
If you are seeking to understand how & why relationships work out they way they do, this book is a gem. From it's all about you to it's not about you, these teachings will shift your understanding to a different level.

"A Toltec is an artist of Love,
an artist of the Spirit,
someone who is creating every moment,
every second, the most beautiful art--
the Art of Dreaming.

Life is nothing but a dream,
and if we are artists,
then we can create our life with Love,
and our dream becomes a masterpiece of a
...more
Maija
Šī grāmata, manuprāt, nebija parasta grāmata. Sākumā šī grāmata bija par mīlestību, cilvēku savstarpējām attiecībām un to saskaņu.
Sākumā šī grāmata pierāda to, ka mīlestība nepastāv, kā tās ir tikai bailes palikt vienam, bailes tikt sāpinātam jeb arī vienkārši tu jau esi pieradis pie otra cilvēka.
šī grāmata ir ļoti psiholoģiski pamācoša, jo šī grāmata māca to, ka nevajag meklēt jeb radīt otrā savas īpašības. Nevajag radīt cilvēku pēc saviem principiem un uzskatiem.
šo grāmatu es ieteiktu izlasi
...more
Wilhemina
Not sure what he was trying to say...thoughts are not coherent. Not very well written. Definitely a waste of my time trying to read it!
Kathryn
didn't "technically" finish it....it was too terrible...boring, lame, corny, and repetitive...highly unrecommend
Nancy
Feb 26, 2015 Nancy rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: People who think
"What makes you happy is love coming out of you. And if you are generous with your love, everyone is going to love you..."

"Selfishness comes from poverty of the heart...we become selfish when we..." [fear that love won't be provided to us]."

So many great quotes from this book, it suffices to say that it is a very valuable read.

Ruiz takes the reader on a journey illuminating the origins of self-destruction and self-pity to emerge cleansed, as a wise lover...of one's self. What was thought to be
...more
Ned Powell
I found it difficult to be receptive and take the book seriously, coming from a scientific and critical thinking background. It was all a bit "airy-fairy" for me. There were lots of stories and analogies, and lots of repitition of the ideas in different ways, and I wasn't much a fan of this structure...or maybe it was just the lack of quality of the writing. Though I really did try to be open-minded and learn from the book what I could. Who knows, maybe I've taken away some wisdom that I can use ...more
Jen
There was a lot of good stuff in this book. These were my favorite quotes:

"Love is ruthless. It doesn't feel sorry for anyone, but it does have compassion. Fear is full of pity, it feels sorry for everyone. You feel sorry for me, when you don't think I am strong enough to make it. On the other hand, love respects. I love you; I know you can make it. I don't have to make your choices for you. You can make it. Compassion comes from respect and from love; feeling sorry comes from a lack of respect
...more
Mads P.
Good. One should definitely read the Four Agreements first, even though this repeats some of that. The basic message is that you can't love anyone else until you love yourself. Love comes from within, not without. I think most people know this, but don't really live it. One of his big points in both books is that most of what we see/think about life is an illusion. Everything exists in our perception, we don't see things as they really are, we see them how we're trained to see them. He asserts t ...more
Behzad
there are two parts to this book: first, the part that tries to tell you about what happens when you choose the wrong person and why is it that people behave so strangely and ruin their relationships and escape from real love and things like that. this part is amazing. unreal. out of this world. it manages to provide psychological explanations for what we do and what we desire, and it manages to provide solutions to some extent.
the second part is when the writer tries to inspire the reader and t
...more
Pamela
Dec 22, 2011 Pamela rated it 3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Not sure
Recommended to Pamela by: Mark
This book both frustrated and inspired me. I could not relate to the continual analogy of human relationships as the same as animal relationships, but there were many excellent pieces of advice: "Happiness never comes from outside us . . . If you take your happiness and put it in someone's hands, sooner or later, she is going to break it.". "Love has no obligations. Fear is ful of obligations.". There are excerpts I will read again to remind myself that "happiness is the result of love coming ou ...more
Kelly
This seems to be written in a slightly stream of consciousness structure. I could only read this is a few pages at a time. Beware of that.

The basic advice is to get love you have to give love. Happiness never comes from outside of us. Don’t put your happiness in someone else’s hands because they will break it. Our most relationship is with ourselves. We need to accept ourselves and others the way they are.

It gets metaphysical describing life as nothing but a dream. There is no reality only per
...more
Adam
This book is a great read for those who wish to improve and understand the science of relationships and how they can better themselves and their partner for the good of each other. This book is an amazing and insightful guide that clearly explains the dynamics of a successful relationship between man and woman and the many values that go into a great, and loving relationship. The book's lessons are taught through three important values in Toltec culture. These values are awareness, transformatio ...more
Palmer
Maybe if he titled it "how to love yourself if you have never been through s@*!" I would have rated it higher, for he would have been more accurate.

Although he does offer some beautiful analogies and stories, such as the magical kitchen and the couple who didn't believe in love, all of his other points I felt were too vague or have already been discovered through my own simple introspection.
The book itself was a very good beginner book into self love, and realization to one's own poison. Howev
...more
sally
Ok, so technically I just listened to the first two and a half chapters of this on audio tape but it was awful. Mostly about how living life is like walking around with our skin full of open sores that people touch and then we're even more damaged, and that is like our emotional lives. Super depressing and I wish I had my eighteen minutes back and all his analysis out of my mind. Oh, and a lot of BS about how pure and innocent and wonderful three year olds are and then society screws them up. Ye ...more
Claudiaroman
Este libro, puede servir de mucha ayuda para nuestra vida; el autor; mismo de los cuatro acuerdos, nos hace reflexionar acerca de nuestra conducta diaria con las personas que nos rodean. Te muestra cómo llegar a tener buenas relaciones; y así ser más feliz. Te hace reflexionar acerca de cómo hacer en una relación, para que no te hagan daño, o para que no se vuelva esta algo obsesivo; para que sea benigna. Nos habla de que los celos y el enojo son deribados es miedo. Que tenemos que trabajar cada ...more
Aileen
this book makes me feel contented with what i have in life. it takes passion and patient to be happy. it is also how to divert risk and responsibility in life into new great possibilities rather huge /tough responsibilities. this is also to overcome your fear to speak about yr feeling and thoughts abt others. I heard about this book from Gisele Bundchen's website how she was inspired by Miguel Ruiz. No doubt, this book rock and give me an impact in a positive way.
Elisabeth Ursell

A few people have commented on the bad writing of this book. Does he use a lot of simple sentences that follow the same-old subject-verb-object format? Yes. But there's a reason he's doing it. Ruiz's methodical style is intended to emphasize his ideas. If you read a lot of religious or mythological texts (such as the Bible, Aesop's Fables, etc.), you'll notice they are written in a very similar style to this book. Instead of trying to rush through each sentence, really take your time to think ab
...more
Anupama
I read this book after a recommendation from the Youtube beauty blogger Mimi Ikonn.
This book taught many new things and reintroduced a few old things in a beautiful manner. The author has used very minimal vocabulary and hence the language is largely simple. So someone reading the book will not find it moving until he/she understands the philosophy the author is trying to convey.
He talks about something we all knew or had eons ago but have don;t possess in today's world. Most importantly we do
...more
Rachel Ridings
"If you see your partnership, your romantic relationship, as a team, everything will start to improve. In a relationship, as in a game, it's not about winning or losing. You are playing because you want to have fun."

I don't have a lot of basis of comparison for The Mastery of Love, it's the first book of its kind that I've read. I read it a chapter at a time, forcing myself to stay consistent and get through it, since I'm much more interested in fiction books than spiritual or self-help books.

I
...more
Stuardo Berti
Excelente libro. De los mejores 5 libros que he leído, aunque pensándolo bien, este es como el décimo libro que digo que es de los mejores cinco libros que he leído. No obstante, es un libro muy interesante, lleno de muchas verdades prácticas que lo hacen a uno reflexionar y hacer introspecciones desde la primera página hasta la última.

Si alguién esta considerando leerlo, no lo dude y hágalo.
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4402
The tools shared by don Miguel are based on common sense and shared with such simplicity, that the universal message underlying his teaching is recognized by many. don Miguel's message is simple, practical and when implemented, even incrementally, changes lives.

In the tradition of the Toltec, a Nagual guides an individual to personal freedom. Combining new insights with old wisdom, don Miguel has
...more
More about Miguel Ruiz...
The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom The Voice of Knowledge: A Practical Guide to Inner Peace The Four Agreements Companion Book The Fifth Agreement: A Practical Guide to Self-Mastery Wisdom from the Four Agreements

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“You don't need to justify your love, you don't need to explain your love, you just need to practice your love. Practice creates the master.” 191 likes
“And what is the right woman, the right man? Someone who wants to go in the same direction as you do, someone who is compatible with your views and your values-- emotionally, physically, economically, spiritually.” 126 likes
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