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Male Sexuality: Why Women Don't Understand It-And Men Don't Either
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Male Sexuality: Why Women Don't Understand It-And Men Don't Either

3.76  ·  Rating Details ·  84 Ratings  ·  11 Reviews
At first glance the sexual male seems easy to understand, but beneath the surface lie complexities that disrupt lives and relationships. Why can men be so distant in bed? Why do many men love porn so much? And can he love porn and still love his wife? Respected psychologist Michael Bader takes an honest look at the nuances of male sexuality, addressing issues such as sexua ...more
ebook, 168 pages
Published October 3rd 2008 by Rowman & Littlefield Publishers
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Sarah
Apr 05, 2013 Sarah rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
If you are at all interested in looking past old assumptions about the minds and hearts of these wonderful creatures, this is the book for you. If you are just curious, you will still be rewarded by reading. At the very least you will come away with a new appreciation for the cum shot.

There was a time when I based what I thought about men’s internal lives on what I saw in porno movies, predators I encountered when I was running the streets and badly executed sexual experiences as a teenager. I a
...more
Adrian Colesberry
Less than halfway through this brilliant book Bader already changed several ideas I had about my sex life. Must reading for anyone who is a man or anyone who has sex with a man. He calls for a broader understanding of men's liking for pornography and for the kind of behavior that is generally filed under unloving and callous. In one way, I wish I'd read this book before writing How to Make Love to Adrian Colesberry but in another way, I'm glad I hadn't. I avoided psychodynamics so carefully and ...more
Sveti
Jan 03, 2013 Sveti rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition

About the book:
The beginning was good, it shed light on the subject of why femininity is so violently rejected by boys. It is an interesting point of view. And the fact that they reject the typical “feminine” values violently (a thing girls don't have to do) and adopt the “masculine” values in order to differentiate from their mothers (who are usually also their caretakers) as they grow up.
- The other interesting idea he presents is that through understand one's sexual fantasies we can deduce w
...more
Elizabeth
Jul 07, 2011 Elizabeth is currently reading it  ·  review of another edition
suggested by several at July OR AASECT Meeting/ used by Chris Allen
requested it from Worldcat



It seems that we all have sexual fantasies based on our pathologies, men more than women because they have to separate from their mothers and not be sissies. Oh and not be guilty or angry, or overly responcible for going out into the rich adventurous male world while leaving their mothers to the dishes.


No mention of class or even of the idea that men who would never have been more than rulers in their o
...more
Idiosyncratic
Apr 21, 2010 Idiosyncratic rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Very useful book - too bad more people don't know about it. The basic premise is that men are not irresponsible about sex and their feelings re women, but that they basically feel TOO responsible for women (thanks to screwed-up relationships with their mothers) and hence get all messed up under the perceived pressure. This, of course, does not absolve them from questionable behaviour, but at least gives a starting point for trying to solve problems. Makes sense to me. (Caveat: The chapter entitl ...more
Brandon Shire
Insightful.
Rebekah
I think this book can provide a lot of insight into the other book I'm reading...

Kamakshi Kay
Jan 01, 2016 Kamakshi Kay rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: dhv
Some of the most interesting research and insights I've read about masculinity so far. Very thought-provoking.
Saleh Aljurbua
Apr 01, 2015 Saleh Aljurbua rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
A very good book. It has changed my understanding of male sexuality and made sense of many complicated issues.
Alex Andra
Dec 26, 2016 Alex Andra rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
What a book! A must read. I would recommend it to anyone, men and women as well.
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Dr. Michael Bader is a psychologist and psychoanalyst with over 30 years of clinical experience. He received a Doctor of Mental Health degree at the University of California, San Francisco, in 1980, and became licensed as a Clinical Psychologist in January 1984, he currently combines a private practice in San Francisco with his work as a senior advisor for the Institute4Change, an interdisciplinar ...more
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“Sex, after all, is about being separate and joined at the same time. The fact that men tend to emphasize the former and women the latter is not an irreducible fact of gender, but the result of asymmetries in childrearing and socialization. But more than that, such tensions reflect the fact that in our society as a whole we don’t know how to be involved with one another without feeling burdened or selfishly indulgent without feeling guilty. If we can solve this problem on a societal level, it will go a long way to solving it in the bedroom.” 1 likes
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