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The Introvert and Extrovert in Love: Making It Work When Opposites Attract
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The Introvert and Extrovert in Love: Making It Work When Opposites Attract

3.66  ·  Rating Details ·  129 Ratings  ·  14 Reviews
The Innie and Outie Guide to a Great Relationship

We use the words everyday, but what does it really mean to be an introvert or an extrovert? And what does it mean to be an introvert in a romantic relationship with an extrovert? Can it work? Surprisingly, psychologists tell us that despite their obvious differences, introverts and extroverts can enjoy a strong, stable-and f
Paperback, 232 pages
Published April 1st 2007 by New Harbinger Publications
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Jun 07, 2012 Melissa rated it it was ok
This book contained some really interesting information regarding the differences in an introvert's and an extrovert's brain, and there were a handful of suggestions that I found helpful, but overall, I felt like most of the information was pretty common sense. But, I suppose there's really no such thing as "common" sense, so let me qualify that by saying, if you are completely baffled by your partner, this book probably has valuable insights for you. If you and your partner talk regularly about ...more
Lacey Louwagie
Jan 26, 2011 Lacey Louwagie rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: people in mixed-temperament relationships
Shelves: non-fiction
I first came across this book on Amazon when it began to come clear to me over the summer that I was dating an extrovert (how did that happen!?). Upon discovering this, I was overcome with a sense of doom--it would never work!! So I did a Google search on extrovert-introvert relationships and realized I wasn't alone. When I said yes to marrying an extrovert, I decided it was time to read this book.

It's a quick, easy read, and although it's set up like a relationship self-help book, its greatest
Charlie Rose
Understanding personality types especially in emotional issues as love and romance is a course study every human being should have. The author explains how it's not all about me and we often don;t pass the course in getting along with everybody. Some people are enigmas and can never be figured out. Explanations helped me to learn to live and let live in a much better life.
Kate Irwin-smiler
Dec 18, 2012 Kate Irwin-smiler rated it did not like it
This book was almost enough to convince me that I'm not actually an introvert (or "innie" - vs. "outie", as the authors insist on calling them). They present the differences as physiological, making the characteristics appear immutable- but very little of their descriptions of introverts resonated with me. They consistently describe "innies" as soft spoken, quiet, and basically socially inept. At one point they suggest that introverts would like careers as librarians so they can work uninterrupt ...more
Kim Ledford
Nov 02, 2015 Kim Ledford rated it liked it
I've been reading a lot of relationship books, and I was so surprised that there weren't more books about introverts and extroverts like this one! I thought it was a good book overall, but will probably have little actual impact for our relationship.
First, it reads like a self-published book. Applications to life don't read smoothly, chapters could flow better, examples they gave weren't easy to apply.
It has a lot of lists, but I think it gets too specific. It reads like it is for about one spec
Oct 31, 2012 Aldra rated it did not like it
I often found myself wondering if the author shouldn't get some therapy. It seemed as if she wanted an opportunity to complain mightily about her husband and used the thin veil of a book through which to do so. Most of it was "common" sense (which we all know ain't so common) that anyone with a bit of background on the differences between introverts and extroverts would already know.

If you're an introvert who feels wounded and angry towards extroverts, I think you'll find a great deal of valida
Sep 15, 2016 Stephen rated it liked it
May be worth reading if you are in an introvert/extrovert relationship. The authors' decision to refer to introverts and extroverts as "innies" and "outies" throughout the entire book rankled me; the book was written to be accessible to the point that it almost seems juvenile, even though it is targeting married/cohabiting couples. Despite the sugarcoating, the book contains some good points and recommendations.
Ashley Butterfield
Sep 06, 2013 Ashley Butterfield rated it liked it
I love reading about personality type and relationship compatability so this book was right up my alley. I thought the section of the book that explained neurological differences between introverts and extroverts was fascinating. However, I think the authors could have done more in regards to explaining how to make introvert and extrovert differences work effectively within the context of romantic relationships
Apr 10, 2015 April added it
I enjoyed the other book written by this author so I thought I would enjoy this. Ended up it is a difficult read because it feels like the author tries to get empathy from readers that it is very difficult for introverts to survive daily life. Most of the points are repeated if you have read Introvert Advantage, but if you have not, it probably is helpful to you.
Aaron Wong
Jul 20, 2014 Aaron Wong rated it really liked it
Apart from all the brain-based sections that I guess was necessary to establish the science between introvert-extrovert differences, I found most of this book extremely practical, insightful, and useful. Chock-full of great advice.
Jun 13, 2012 Lisa rated it really liked it
Really helpful for us, especially as we're traveling the world together. ;) I'm close to the middle of the scale but I'm a little more extroverted, so the introvert tips are helpful for me personally as well as helpful in understanding my partner.
Nov 27, 2010 Heather rated it it was ok
I wasn't impressed. It was OK. I'm not sure what it was lacking, but it was definitely lacking something. Not as informative or life changing or insightful as I was hoping for.
Jul 08, 2008 Kristen rated it really liked it
I enjoyed this book more than the Introvert Advantage. I felt that it gave some really good examples of how to interact more productively.
Jul 01, 2015 Sheila rated it really liked it
This book really helped me understand my spouse (an introvert) a lot better.
Stephanie Jacobson
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Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D., is a researcher, educator, author, and psychotherapist. One of America’s foremost authorities on introversion, she speaks and leads workshops on the topic in the United States and Canada.
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