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Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics

3.66 of 5 stars 3.66  ·  rating details  ·  451 ratings  ·  78 reviews
A funny, upbeat, inspiring guide for all those singles who identify with enjoying their unique lifestyles while waiting for the right romance to come along. A celebration of the discerning singles everywhere–the quirkyalone!

There was a time when a single woman over 25 was called an old maid. Mothers fretted these unfortunate creatures might be condemned to a committing a
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Hardcover, 176 pages
Published January 6th 2004 by HarperOne
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 794)
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Katie
I liked this book because it had exactly the intended effect on me. Namely, I saw myself reflected so strongly in the characterization that I thought, "Oh. Maybe I'm not a total contradiction, overly discerning, or just plain dysfunctional after all." I don't see myself as the kind of person who needs affirmation from a book (hence the whole "quirky" part, I guess) but I found this really valuable because it helped me look at my some of my characteristics in a new way and understand how they rea ...more
Tracy Wendt
If you've ever uttered the phrase: "I'd rather be alone than in a bad relationship" and actually meant it - read this book.

If you've ever sympathetically told your grandchild/child/niece/nephew/friend/neighbor/coworker, "It'll happen for you" or "the right person is just around the corner" or "There's someone for everyone" or my personal favorite, "It will happen when you least expect it" - then been puzzled when the beneficiary of your condolences shrugged indifferently and said "whatever. mayb
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AennA
As I began reading the book, I was ready to claim I am a quirkyalone. For, as defined:

quirkyalone n. a person who enjoys being single (but is not opposed to being in a relationship) and generally prefers to be alone rather than date for the sake of being in a couple. With unique traits and an optimistic spirit; a sensibility that transcends relationship status.

It's a wonderful definition. I'll be proud to claim I'm a quirkyalone. But I guess I am not a true blue quirkyalone.

The word was coined b
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Emily
QuirkyAlone tried to be a movement. It probably fizzled because QuirkyAlones just aren't much for group hugs and scheduled bonding sessions. That's not to say that we're quitters, though. Search the craigslist personals for 'quirkyalone' and you'll still come across the keyword once in awhile. THEY'RE OUT THERE.

I went through an extensive single self-help reading list one summer and it only made me feel hopeless, isolated, and indignant. The one thing I retained was an anecdote about a single wo
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Piezocuttlefish
May 19, 2008 Piezocuttlefish rated it 2 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: anyone who's just dumped someone
Shelves: owned
When I picked up this book, I was filled with vitriol at its contents; that it didn't get one star is fairly astounding.

It does quite a good job at being a self-help book. It gets one to feel good about being a part of the QA group, lists all sorts of wonderful qualities of QAs, admits that you can even be a member even after you've lost your aloneness, spending a fair amount of time highlighting how QA relationships work, and introduces many famous and unknown QAs. "You're in awesome company!",
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Rachel
I wanted to like this, and I'm sure there are things in it that I could get behind. But the author seemed so excited at the word she made up (the title) and the 'movement' it sparked on the baby internets (in the nineties, imagine!) that I had trouble finding a thread to follow anywhere in the text to keep me reading. I just didn't feel like it said much and, after a few chapters, I gave up.
Amber
ah, I liked the article in Utne Reader. I really wanted to like the book, but I'm sorry, it just seemed like the publishers said to Sasha Cagen - "Hey, can you fill up 150+ pages of stuff like that article you wrote and everyone liked?" And she was all like, "Sure!" And then she made it super perky, and chucked in loads of cutesy pictures and doodles to fill up all of the acres of empty space, and then sprinkled it with Gen-X pop culture references, and lists like "famous best friends" which inc ...more
Tracey Gagne
Oct 16, 2007 Tracey Gagne rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: quirkyalones and those who wish they were...
Okay, I loved this book! My friend Dawn recommended it, and once I put some real effort into it, I could NOT put it down!

I've always known that I'm quirky and always wondered why I spend more time alone than in a relationship. In 2002, I called my aunt to tell her that I was the happiest I'd ever been in my life-- at the time, I was single and loving life. I've always cultivated friendships and held them in high esteem. I would have preferred to go to my proms without dates, but I didn't know at
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Anna
Dec 24, 2007 Anna rated it 3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: single girls needing to know that it's okay to be single
Shelves: psychology, sold
This was a comforting book to read, and I do tend to classify as a "Quirkyalone", with a few exceptions to the author's definition as such. First of all, I don't consider myself to be an "Uncompromising Romantic" as it states in the title, not at all. And I don't need to be given suggestions as to what to do with my time that's not being spent having babies or searching for wedding gowns or going to PTA meetings or even couples therapy.

But still, it's nice to know that there's a world of single
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Sunsettowers
"quirkyalone: a person who enjoys being single (but is not opposed to being in a relationship) and generally prefers to be alone rather than date for the sake of being in a couple; someone with unique traits and an optimistic spirit; a sensibility that transcends relationship status"

This book was lent to me yesterday, and I couldn't put it down. It's rare to find a book that really speaks to you, that says things you needed to hear from a book, a book that leaves you feeling better about yoursel
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Sherry
Sep 30, 2008 Sherry rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Hava, The Captain
Recommended to Sherry by: QueenieCarly
Shelves: 2006-2010
This book took me totally by surprise. I was expecting a self-help-how-to-live-with-being-single type of book. Definitely not the "Does this sound like you? Guess, what? You're okay!" read that I got. It started out almost as a justification for being single, but the further into the book I got, I realized that this is who I am. I have been quirkyalone-in-denial for most of my adult life. Reading this book has helped me feel secure in my decision to hold out for someone really special, that I mi ...more
N.
This is a book that was meant to stay as the zygote of the news article that it started out as. The author's desire to expand it into a book that overstays its welcome with weird categories like "quirkytogether" and "quirkyslut" was pushing it a little too far. In fact, the whole book was pushing it too far. I think the first two chapters were worthwhile in empowering single people, but she really started losing me after that.
Karen
I read this little book when I was newly single. Its contents are uneven (some parts are one star, others five), but it's fair to say there will be something that appeals or clicks -- at least for those who are a bit off-beat to start with. It's a quirky but positive and affirming message for introverts choosing a lifestyle of 'alone, but not lonely.'
Joanna Vaught
when we were "just pals," matt recommended i read this after i complained to him that single women living their own damn lives and not constantly searching for a husband were severely undervalued in our culture and it fucking sucked. then a few months later, we met in person and fell in love. AHAHAHA.

this book is okay.
Evamaria
This was just what I expected - a voice that seems to describe me, my perspective on life and love and relationships. Yep, I'm definitely one of the tribe of quirkyalones... :)
Sarah
I adored this book. It changed my life in the best way possible!

Actually, it didn't change my life so much as reinforce what I already knew. A good friend suggested that give this a read - she had stumbled across it and felt that it descirbed her to a T. Well, it was me to a T also.

QUIRKYALONE: n:a person who enjoys being singe (but is not aopposed to being in a relationship) and generally preferes to be alone rather than date for the sake of being in a couple; someone with unique traits and an
...more
Marsha
What is a quirkyalone? How do you know if you are one? Coined in 2004 (though it appears to have died out of use in casual conversation), this word referred to a new generation—people who were going it single and found it surprisingly agreeable. They’re not women proudly proclaiming their independence from marriage while secretly terrified of dying spinsters, folks going from one horrid relationship after another because everyone prods them to give the dating scene another chance or long-sufferi ...more
La Katie
Everybody should read this book when they are single.

Then, they should read it again when they are in a relationship.

Following that, they should tell everyone they know about this book, whether they are single or not. This is required reading, folks!

"Quirkyalone" is so very important, because the entirety of the message is how important it is to be true to one's self. It's about allowing yourself to be so utterly *you* that the addition of others is a blessing rather than a factor of definition.
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Miranda
Although comforting at times, there was something about it that seemed like the other extreme. Here we are condemning those who go from one relationship to the next, without realizing how unhealthy it can be to always be shut up in your own world. This book, to me, didn't foster the idea of meeting in the middle. Rather it encouraged one to go on being afraid of entering relationships or waiting around for someone who fully understands you.
Of course, I've had mostly negative views of self-help
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Keely Hyslop
Loved the concept, would have liked a slightly less chatty writing style and also felt like the book was a little too padded with individual Quirkyalone profiles.

Still, in terms of the whole single vs. coupled debate this book kind of has the final word. If you're in a relationship it should be because you love the person for who they are, not because you need to find Mr. or Ms. Right before you pass into decrepit spinsterhood/ grumpy-old-maniness, and also not because you think the person you'
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Jennifer Kronk
May 01, 2008 Jennifer Kronk rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommended to Jennifer by: Bitch Magazine
Shelves: non-fiction
I bought this book soon after it first came out in 2004. When I read it then it was a relief to discover that I was not the only one who felt "deeply, profoundly single." In fact, in my situation, I would almost add the word "pathologically [single.]"
I really love the subtitle of this book; "A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics." Quirkyalones are not against the idea of being in love or being in relationships. We just will not do it just do it.
I picked it up recently to see if it still spo
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Tracey Marion
I couldn't finish reading this! I'm sure it's good if you connect with it but for me, she seemed too focused on attempting to 'make quirkyalone happen' to write anything with broad appeal.
paul redman
This book should be sold bundled with "Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone". They both speak to a similar trend but touch it in two distinct ways. This book speaks to the personal side.

I found myself relating closely to many concepts & topics in this book. There were several "me too!" moments. That said, there were a few "I'm not quite there, yet" moments as well. All in though, I discovered that I lean to the "Quirkyalone" end of the dial rather than the
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Robin
Jan 08, 2008 Robin rated it 3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: those who like offbeat non-fiction
Recommended to Robin by: read about online, I think
Shelves: 2008-list
Why did I read this book? Well, after being married for 22 years I am now divorced and have been living alone for nearly 2 years. Maybe I don't fit the typical description of a "quirkyalone" because of my marriage and kids but I like the time I spend with myself and I rarely feel lonely. Currently there is a man that I spend time with but the cool thing is that some of the time we're together, I am reading or cooking and he is online or reading so we are not constantly sharing the same space. Th ...more
Raina
Apr 08, 2014 Raina marked it as to-read
I own a copy, and have flipped through many times, but have never gotten around to reading it cover-to-cover.
Pat
Looking at the other reviews, those of us who fit the Quirkyalone or Quirkytogether profiles rate this book more highly than those who don't. There definitely was a "Yes!-Someone else like me" factor to my enjoyment of the book. That said, this would have been better as an extended magazine article or essay. Too much padding by adding the profiles of quirkyalones around the country (I didn't care who their favorite Golden Girl was, for example). But parts of the book I may ask my husband to read ...more
maryann
Nov 29, 2007 maryann rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: my progressive urban-tribe-ish peers
Shelves: non-fiction
well, it's a little too feel-good, pat-yourself-on-the-back for me to swallow it whole, but there were enough excellent observations to make this totally worth reading and remembering.

it's good for anyone who spends a lot of time being single, but it's ALSO good for anyone who's FRIENDS with someone who spends a lot of time being single. there are parts i'm going to type out and send to my best friends, to try to explain to them how i approach life and relationships.

good to read in tandem with '
...more
Bee
This just didn't do it for me. On one hand, it was nice to find that so many others have the same outlook and philosophy on life & love as I do, but 'Quirkyalone' just felt too self-indulgent overall. Sure, there are lots of people with this personality, but is it a Big Important Movement? Nah. Not to me, at least. I don't need a book to affirm what I already knew about myself, and that is kind of all this ended up accomplishing. I actually agree with another reviewer, that it tried too hard ...more
Julie
I really like the concept of Quirlyalone but the book itself was repetitive and not that interesting. I'm glad my friend told me about it. It's always nice to find out about a movement/category that brings quirky people together and make them feel a little less alone/weird. Its a thought that helps when other people keep trying to tell you how marriage and children are things you "should" pursue or give you that condescending "I didn't want to get married when I was your age too".
Dianne
I only read a little bit of this book, because it was pretty boring, and kind of self-indulgent. Basically, a "quirkyalone" is someone who is OK with not being attached at the hip to a significant other, and who prizes friends and other relationship just as much as romantic ones.

So, um, not totally earth-shattering. I'm definitely a quirkyalone by definition...but I kind of resent being labeled as a new species. Did I miss the point?
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