The Zombie Survival Guide: How To Live Like A King After The Outbreak
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The Zombie Survival Guide: How To Live Like A King After The Outbreak

2.63 of 5 stars 2.63  ·  rating details  ·  49 ratings  ·  10 reviews
How do YOU plan on surviving the coming Zombie Apocalypse! If you are a wuss, don't buy this book. Just the act of opening it will cause your puny mind to loose all control of your bowel movements. You will also become so impotent, not even Viagra will be able to help. If you're weak in the mind and want to read this book I have two suggestions. One, kill yourself. When yo...more
Kindle Edition
Published (first published December 5th 2009)
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Arthur Graham
It's a cliché to say, but most readers will likely either love or hate this book. Seriously. If you have a low tolerance for gross-out stuff, racial/gender humor, or if you'd rather not read graphic instructions on how to train your zombie sex slaves, then there are many, MANY other zombie books to choose from out there — most of them written by MUCH better authors. And that's okay. DeForest can come across as a straight-up prick in his writing, so it might be difficult to look past his macho BS...more
Clever, funny and informative (the accompanying pictures are a nice touch) and mixed with a dash of sarcasm made for a fun and quick read. Now I know why the AK-47 is much better than the M-16, and to start working on my upper body strength for slinging around the sledge/ax combo. Oh, and invest in some shock collars...Etienne, I'll not be needing my money back, best .99 I've spent this month ;}
DeForest's rapier wit and psuedoscientific search for the origins of Zombiism had me snicker-farting all the way through.Bravo,sir.
Melissa Helwig
There are several zombie survival guides out there, but none like this one. No other guide will explain how getting blackout drunk can help a zombie bite or how to turn a zombie into a sex slave. But luckily this one explains everything you need to know in order to "live like a king" after the zombie outbreak - from zombie crabs to zombie pimps.

The Zombie Survival Guide: How to Live Like a King After the Outbreak is crude yet hilarious. Several moments in the book had me laughing hysterically. H...more
I bought this book on my Kindle because it was a dollar, and I mistook it for the Zombie Survival Guide Handbook that I'm currently reading. To say the least, I'm still mad that I wasted a dollar on this book.
Let me start by saying that I chose this book both for its entertainment value as well as its ability to force me to think critically about an end-of-the-world scenario, and let me say, this book didn't deliver on either front.
The author really goes off course of how to survive, talking mos...more
Donald Armfield
I finished reading this on Thanksgiving day, waiting on the feast at my wife's uncle's house. After reading about eating brains I decided to ask my wife for some brain. As apposed to her on her knees. needless to say all I'm getting is the keys to the van and the drivers seat.

Etienne's Zombie survival guide is a laughable page quicky. Something you could pick up and read the day the outbreak starts. Maybe learn something. Funny that Max Brooks would even laugh at loud to.
Preston Lee
Oct 26, 2010 Preston Lee rated it 2 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Only the crudest of zombie fans.
Shelves: adult, fiction, zombie
Immature, non-sequiter ramblings more closely resembling an X-rated creative writing exercise than a publishable work of fiction.

If the title of this book nevertheless piques your interest as it did mine, check out Max Brooks' The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection From The Living Dead for a far more enjoyable and better penned read.

Overall: A liberal 2 of 5, provided only for sub-dollar pricing and the fact that I admittedly did finish it.
Cole Schoolland
A quick, hilarious read. Very witty. Not a lot of meat but a good breath of comedy that you can knock out in a few hours.

Definitely different, I can not think of any other way to describe it.
Henrik Rostoft
Not original enough, been done better
Karen Zieman
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“When approaching a prospective human, first ask them what their name is.

* If it replies "Brains," blow its fucking head off.
* If it replies "Brian," ask it again, as you may have encountered a zombie with a speech impediment, or a zombie that was mildly retarded in life.
* Keep in mind that it is entirely possible that you did encounter a human named "Brian.”
More quotes…