Bitter Melon

Dec 24, 2011 Thomas rated it 4 of 5 stars

4.5 stars.

"That's the first time I've ever heard the idea of unconditional love outside the context of religion. In theology class, I always hear about God's love, about his loving us even though we're sinners. But the idea that real live parents could be unconditionally loving is completely foreign... How can anyone be loved not for what they do but for who they are? Isn't who you are defined by what you do?"

There are some books that really hit home. Books that you can relate to, so that when y...more 4.5 stars.

"That's the first time I've ever heard the idea of unconditional love outside the context of religion. In theology class, I always hear about God's love, about his loving us even though we're sinners. But the idea that real live parents could be unconditionally loving is completely foreign... How can anyone be loved not for what they do but for who they are? Isn't who you are defined by what you do?"

There are some books that really hit home. Books that you can relate to, so that when you're reading them you feel a personal connection to the characters or to the events occurring. For me, Bitter Melon was one of those books. In many ways this book doesn't deserve such a high rating - the romance was awkward and the protagonist a bit unbelievable at times - but because of how much I empathized with Frances, the main character, I loved the book anyway.

Frances Ching's goal is to attend Berkeley and become a doctor. That may not be her goal as much as it is her mother's, but for her the two are interchangeable. That's the case until Frances accidentally enrolls in a speech course and ends up loving it - for the first time, she's discovered a passion that solely belongs to her. However, her affection for public speaking conflicts with what her mom wants her to do. Despite Frances's past obedience to her mother, she decides to take a risk and starts making her own choices in life. This leads to a collision between Frances's own dreams and her mom's hurtful love - and in the end, Frances will only be able to choose one.

I know how it feels to be in Frances's position. To be afraid of disobeying your parents even if it's the right thing to do, to be afraid of acting on your own when it goes against their wishes, to be afraid of them in general. Every time Frances's mom compared her to one of her friends, called her stupid or fat, or hit her mercilessly, my heart ached. That's why seeing Frances grow into her own person by the end of the novel amazed me. Every time she told herself that it's okay to be imperfect, I cheered. There was one dramatic scene at the end where I cried unabashedly, because I knew it was something I should do but I don't have the strength to do... yet.

Let me make it clear: children with parents coming from strict cultures still appreciate them. Frances is aware of how much her mom has sacrificed for her and obviously does her best to repay that debt. Also, she and I both know that our parents only want the best for us - that's why they push us so hard. Yet when that familial love manifests into abuse, there's something wrong. You should never have to beat your kid or make them hate themselves to convey how much you love them. Never.

Overall, a powerful and moving novel. Not flawless, but the sheer strength of Chow's storytelling made those minor negative aspects almost disappear. Highly recommended to teens who have helicopter or tiger parents, and for others who simply want to understand those that do.

Thanks goes to The Dubious Seeker for recommending this book to me.

*review cross-posted from my blog, the quiet voice.(less)

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Apr 22, 2012 Laura Rue rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 50-book-challenge-2012

Although I completely devoured this book in 2 days some people would ask why I only gave it three stars. The reason being, France's relationship with Derek was unrealistic. The smart, good looking, white male would never leave his beautiful girlfriend for the plain Asian girl, nor would he have the patience to stay with her. I felt no chemistry between the two and thought of it as a stereotypical high school relationship. I also felt the ending to be bittersweet. Even though France's mom deserve...more

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Jan 16, 2011 Laura rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011-mt-bookpile

Frances' life reminded me of the many tales I've heard of my parent's generation of Jewish children growing up in places like the Lower East Side or the Bronx: their parents sacrificed and scrimped so that the next generation could do better, achieve more, and only certain schools and the highest grades, the most correct behavior was allowed. Who needs sports? Who needs dates?

That Bitter Melon is set in 1989, rather than 1939 (or earlier) is what will surprise readers. Aren't we supposed to be...more

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Jun 05, 2013 Bradley rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: for-fun

"Bitter Melon" is not the type of book I would normally read. It is directed unabashedly at young teenagers, and probably mostly the female half of that demographic. It was not a gripping piece of literature in any way. Yes, I was fascinated by the plot, and the writing created a tangible tension between the mother and daughter that was perfect. Some would say that this book provides insight into cultures the typical white American family would have no idea about, but in my opinion the abusive r...more

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Mar 04, 2013 Susanne M rated it 2 of 5 stars

This book turned out to be a major disappointment for me:( While it did make for a fast, interesting read, the story completely veered away from what I was expecting.

So what was I expecting? Something I can relate to as an Asian American daughter myself. Yes I've grown up with an overbearing, demanding mother who wields criticism and guilt freely. However, the fundamental difference between her and France's nightmare of a mother is that my mother truly wishes for my happiness on MY OWN terms. N...more

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Dec 04, 2012 Ed added it

Chow, Cara. (2011). Bitter Melon. New York: Egmont. 313 pp. ISBN 978-1-60684-126-6 (Hard Cover); $16.99.*

I love the careful selection of names in this novel. Bitter Melon features an excellent beginning that sets the stage for all of the action to come, starting with the explanation of Fei Ting, the name given by Mommy. Her name has dual meanings of stop and flying. Since Mommy does have her moment of literally stopping Fei Ting from flying, it works exceptionally well--especially considering Mo...more

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Sep 23, 2012 Yang-ji rated it 5 of 5 stars

Bitter Melon
By Cara Chow
309 Pages
Realistic Fiction

Fei Ting "Frances" Ching is a Asian American living in 1980 San Francisco. Her mom controls her every step, from taking calculus, to setting her life career as a doctor. One day, as Frances and her friend, Theresa, accidentally steps into a speech class. Frances finds that her true talent lies in debating and public speaking, but as she enters a competition, she now believes that she has to speak the truth about her thoughts, and not just about h...more

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Jun 09, 2012 Nian rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012

Cara Chow’s wonderful debut really made my heart ache, not just for the protagonist, but also for the mother. I loathe the mother, wondering how she could put her daughter through everything, but in the end, I still pitied her because she did give up so much, and almost lost it all. Being Asian American myself, I really resonated with the novel, the traditional values and upbringing of an Asian mother. Everything I did, my mother wanted more, constantly critiquing me and saying everything she di...more Cara Chow’s wonderful debut really made my heart ache, not just for the protagonist, but also for the mother. I loathe the mother, wondering how she could put her daughter through everything, but in the end, I still pitied her because she did give up so much, and almost lost it all. Being Asian American myself, I really resonated with the novel, the traditional values and upbringing of an Asian mother. Everything I did, my mother wanted more, constantly critiquing me and saying everything she did, she did for me. I understood that, but from young, I was stronger than Frances: I resisted.

Frances as a protagonist was interesting and strong, smart, and I applaud the way she handled herself and her mother as the book started to end, and she has changed so so much throughout one year. I loved the speeches, loved the way Frances continued to improve upon herself, and I was so frustrated by the mother’s actions and her words. My mother was never this extreme in her criticism of my body and weight (she never told me to get plastic surgery) but words still hurt, especially when you’re looking for parental love and approval. The mother was so crazy, so complex—I hated her, I laughed when she got what she deserved, but I also pitied her—and Chow’s characterization of the mother was just so cruelly realistic. Extreme, but realistic. The emotional roller coaster ride had me gasping and wondering what would happen next and it was so frustrating reading about a girl with such similar characteristics and passage into adulthood as myself because all I wanted was for her to defend herself and realize she was much stronger than perceived. I just really loved the transition into adulthood, the maturing of the protagonist that started weak but really shined and grew.

The only thing lacking was the romance and the friendship. I was intrigued by the is it/is it not relationship between Derek and Frances, but at the same time, I was curious how they could have played this “chasing” game where they wouldn’t even talk/see each other for 2-3 months yet still maintain that deep attraction and connection to each other. I really wanted their story to develop, for Frances to find solace in Derek, for someone else to understand her family situation. On that same note, I loved the bubbliness that is Theresa, but I also really wanted the author to develop her and give her a back story and more prominence than being France’s sidekick!
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Apr 05, 2012 Olivia rated it 5 of 5 stars

In this spine-tingling and inspiring tale by Cara Chow, Fei Ting(aka. Frances) is controlled by her mother’s web of complaints about how her hard working daughter does nothing. Fei Ting is beaten by her mother because her mother makes mistakes, not Fei Ting and she takes the beatings without a yelp. Fei Ting is ordered by her mother at first to become a doctor and to take Calculus so then she can go to college but instead, Fei Ting accidentally gets Speech class instead of Calculus and loves it...more

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Feb 21, 2012 Rachel rated it 3 of 5 stars

WARNING!!! CONTAINS SPOILERS.

1. The novel "Bitter Melon" by Cara Chow is about a Asian girl named Frances who is on her senior year of high school. She is poor, and lives in a small town in San Francisco with her mom. Her mom is very strict and puts a lot of pressure on her. Also, she works very hard to educate Frances well. In respond to that, Frances has always been a respectful girl who obeys what her mom tells her to do. She studies hard to go to Berkely and become a doctor as her mom wishes...more WARNING!!! CONTAINS SPOILERS.

1. The novel "Bitter Melon" by Cara Chow is about a Asian girl named Frances who is on her senior year of high school. She is poor, and lives in a small town in San Francisco with her mom. Her mom is very strict and puts a lot of pressure on her. Also, she works very hard to educate Frances well. In respond to that, Frances has always been a respectful girl who obeys what her mom tells her to do. She studies hard to go to Berkely and become a doctor as her mom wishes her to. However, things change at the beginning of her senior year when she accidentally winds up in speech class. In speech class, she gradually finds out what she enjoys and has talent in. She enters competitions and make accomplishments. In this process, she goes through multiple conflicts with her mom. There are problems such as Frances lying to her mom, her mom beating her with the trophy, her mom restricting her from meeting boys, and many other problems. Eventually, She learns to stand up for herself, and show her own feelings. Other people such as Derek, Ms. Taylor, and Theresa helps her to go through this hard time, while letting her develop socially. From Derek, Frances starts a relationship with a boy for the first time in her life. They go through confusions and miscommunications to finally know each others feelings, but they finally sort things out. From Ms. Taylor, Frances learns to find her dreams, and do what she wants. Ms. Taylor was the one who introduced her to speech and let her find her dream college. Lastly, from Theresa, Frances gets to find a friend that she can depend on for her life. Frances develops greatly in the book solving problems that she encounters, and eventually finds her true dream.

2. The main conflicts in this book her Frances' problem with her mom, and Derek. Her conflict with Derek was that they did not show each others feelings, and kept it to themselves. They both liked each other, but they did not know it and went through confusions and heart breaks. Toward the end, the conflict is solved by them spending time together, and promising to keep in contact even after they both go away to college. On the other hand, her conflict with her mom is left unresolved, though we can sense that it will eventually resolve soon enough. The conflict is that mom and Frances did not keep in touch with each other after Frances harshly left for college without telling her mom. At the epilogue, Frances mom sends her a envelope, and Frances calls her. Even though they did not work out problems, I knew that they would soon enough, because family relationships are unbreakable in my opinion.

3. I liked this book, but I cannot say that it is one of the best book that I have read recently. This novel did give me some teachings such as "your parents will love you no matter what, unconditionally", and "follow your dreams". However, there were some confusions in understanding why her mom acted the way that she did, and I wish that the book had finished with the ending that resolved the main conflict between the mother and the daughter. Other than that, I liked this book very much.

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Feb 18, 2012 Jessica Harrison rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: reviewed, middle-reader

full review at Cracking the Cover
Parts of “Bitter Melon” left a bitter taste in my mouth, not because the writing was bad, but because it was so good. Cara Chow’s prose helped me invest in her characters, particularly Frances. And the way Frances’ mother treated her daughter really made me mad. It felt as if she was living her life through her child and burdening her with unrealistic expectations.

Books like “Bitter Melon” are important. They give us a glimpse at people and cultures we know nothi...more

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Feb 10, 2012 Sheila DeChantal rated it 4 of 5 stars

Frances world in one filled with strict tradition (and not the fun Fiddler on the Roof kind....). Although she is 17 and her and her mother live in a one bedroom apartment in San Francisco, you would sweat that they still live in China. Frances's mother has had a hard life... after moving to the States, Frances's father soon left the family. The easier thing to do would have been to return to China, but Frances's mother instead works two jobs to maintain her household. She also holds her daughte...more

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Aug 03, 2011 The Bookologist rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: arcs-i-own, for-review

Inspiring and touching, Bitter Melon is an emotional story of trying to fight through battles and the real meaning of happiness. The concept of imperious Asian mothers was a bit cliché, but Chow did have the creativity to add in much more meaning to it.

Chow’s writing is so addictive and she absorbs you into Frances’ world. Her writing is so powerful that it there’s sympathy for Frances’ feelings and emotions. There’s so much emotion in the story, especially when Frances’ mother went mentally abu...more

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May 08, 2011 Jasmine Cui rated it 3 of 5 stars

This book was ok. It was good but, it did a very poor job of portraying a real asian's perspective of life. In truth the normal asian has a family more in similarity to the one shown with Nellie and Theresa. In the asian community a girl like Fei-Ting is extremely uncommon and unheard of. Especially near the end she starts to become rude into an un-fathomable point and her behavior especially when she shames her mum is stomach-churning and disgusting. No, in China we respect our elders and that'...more

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Apr 24, 2011 Cleverly rated it 4 of 5 stars

Life lessons should never be deceitful or painful. You should have family to look to for comfort and love. What if that love has been manipulated and mixed into something ugly. Frances has to travel a journey to find the truth. The truth about herself and her mother.

This story resonated love and hate and a deeper understanding of twisted love. Bitter Melon bled reality and in the end, truth. There was a lot of abuse in the book. Not just physical but mental. It didn't seem over done. It felt re...more

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Dec 27, 2010 Dodie rated it 5 of 5 stars

Frances, now a high school senior, is expected to become a doctor and do her mother proud, avenging their abandonment by her husband many years ago. When Fei Ting (Frances' Chinese name)accidentally gets assigned to a speech class rather than calculus, she feels exhilarated and scared at the same time, and ends up staying in the class. This forces Frances to be deceptive, something she has never done before. Frances' mother is out of control and can play the martyr at the drop of a hat (or some...more

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Apr 29, 2012 Jellyfishes rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: disappointing, it-was-nothing-special, loved-that-ending, romance-as-riveting-as-drywall, poc-main-character

To tell the truth, I was expecting to really like this book. I've always been fascinated with the whole 'tiger mom' phenomenon, and as seeing as I am also Asian, in school, with parents who exhibit 'tiger parent' qualities (though not NEARLY to the same degree as other Asian children, thank goodness!)I hoped to be able to relate with Frances as a protagonist. But I'm giving this book 3 stars because I didn't nearly enjoy this one as much as I think I should have.

My first - and main - complaint w...more To tell the truth, I was expecting to really like this book. I've always been fascinated with the whole 'tiger mom' phenomenon, and as seeing as I am also Asian, in school, with parents who exhibit 'tiger parent' qualities (though not NEARLY to the same degree as other Asian children, thank goodness!)I hoped to be able to relate with Frances as a protagonist. But I'm giving this book 3 stars because I didn't nearly enjoy this one as much as I think I should have.

My first - and main - complaint was that this book was, well, kind of boring. It has a very slow, quiet space, where not much happens of great shock or excitement. In some parts, I found the writing, and atttempted symbolism and metaphors a bit clunky. Frances' speeches should have counted as something heart-pounding or exciting, but they came off as underwhelming events to me. Perhaps it's only my personal bias, since I guess I'm used to books with more actiony turns of events. In any case, I found myself starting to skim along many times, and I was almost never motivated to pick the book back up after putting it down to do something else. Don't get me wrong, I'm not someone who only puts merit on action-filled books and thinks slow contemporaries are boring. I've read many books with a slower, quieter pace like this one that I've liked just as much, even more than action-packed books. It's just that those books have to be carried along then by voice and characters. I'm not sure that this one held up under that.

This book is set in first person POV. I like first person POV as much as 3rd person, but I have to be entertained by the narrator. That doesn't mean being overly witty or funny, but I want to like the narration enough to keep turning the pages. While I found Frances very sympathetic - and often times I just wanted to give her a huge hug - as a narrator she's not that... compelling to me. Her voice was alright, but it wasn't riveting enough to keep me wanting to hear it. I don't know how well this book would've been if it were written in 3rd person - I mean, Frances' journey is very personal - but all I know is that as a 1st person POV, it's just a teensy bit of a fumble for me.

Also, there is a romance between Frances and another speech competitor, Derek. I wanted to like them, really I did. It's just that like the 1st person narration, this couple had no oomph. No chemistry. Like, almost none at all. As a couple they felt really strained and forced, and they felt more like friends than boyfriend/girlfriend to me. That really bogged things down, because Frances' feelings about him do take a sizeable part of the book. Not big enough to take over the whole book, of course, but big enough for me to go 'blah' internally every time one of their scenes came up. (Also, Derek letting his ex come back every time Frances ostensibly rejected him or ignored him at first was kind of annoying and skeevy. I felt sorry for the ex. Dude, stop stringing her along and using her as a substitute!)

Also, like another reviewer said, there was no reason for this book to be set in 1989 to 1990. There is no significant event, no distinct flavour, that places this book in the nineties. Sure, there are mentions of NKOTB and the Loma Prieta earthquake, among other things, but those could've easily been edited to take place in the undetermined present. If you're going to set a book in the past, please make sure that it actually seems like it's in the past. (I think even the author kind of knew this and slipped up - in the transcript of Frances' original speech we're presented with in the book when Frances' competes at the Chinese American Association, she mentions Hong Kong being passed back to China in 1997. 1997. Oops! There's a few details after that make me even more iffy on the time setting, but that could just be me interpreting it wrong.)

But don't think that I didn't like the book. I did. There were some good things about it. While Frances isn't a very compelling narrator to me, I liked her a lot and felt really sorry for her. The things her mother did to her were abuse, physical, emotional, and mental - far beyond anything I got or could relate to. Among other things, Frances' mother (view spoiler) A large part of why I elevated this book to 3 stars instead of two - along with the epilogue - was because I did like Frances' evolution from obedient, but resentful girl to an independent, assertive woman. The way she got revenge, while not exactly mature, was the only way to get things done, and I cheered for her. I also enjoyed the characters of Theresa and Nellie (I loved those neon tracksuits!). While flawed, they were a good rounding-out, showing that children of tiger moms aren't necessarily unhappy and tiger parents aren't all cold and cruel. While I'm very much against the whole tiger mom viewpoint, I would've felt uneasy if all these kinds of parents were portrayed as awful. It would've felt one-sided and unrealistic and kind of like propaganda.

So there you have it. I liked the book, but I felt it could've been better in many ways. As a portrayal of a contemporary Asian-American struggling with her mother's expectations, it's not a standout but still worth a read.(less)

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Feb 17, 2012 Jenni French rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: genre-contemporary-fiction, age-5-grades-9-12, genre-urban-fiction, topic-multicultural, setting-asia

Frances and her mom live in a small apartment in San Francisco's Richmond district. Frances's mom works long hours at a back-breaking job so that Frances can attend a private school and receive a top-rate education. All she asks for in exchange is that Frances do her very best in everything all the time. Frances is trying hard to fulfill her mother's dreams for her: to get high scores on the SAT, to attend UC Berkeley where she can study to become a doctor, and to embark on a successful career w...more Frances and her mom live in a small apartment in San Francisco's Richmond district. Frances's mom works long hours at a back-breaking job so that Frances can attend a private school and receive a top-rate education. All she asks for in exchange is that Frances do her very best in everything all the time. Frances is trying hard to fulfill her mother's dreams for her: to get high scores on the SAT, to attend UC Berkeley where she can study to become a doctor, and to embark on a successful career where she can care for her mother as her mother has cared for her. But Frances is beginning to chafe under the weight of her mother's dreams, and with the help of a computer error that lands her in speech class instead of calculus, begins to choose her own path.

I almost didn't finish this book. The San Francisco references were super-obvious, but not in a way that made me think, "Oh, cool! I've been there!" It seemed more like a tour book of the city. That, and this book has dated itself. In the first fifty pages alone there were references to The Little Mermaid, Aqua-Net, and The New Kids on the Block. Added to the large earthquake that happened on a weekday afternoon, I'd place this book in 1989 when the Loma Prieta earthquake shook the Bay Area.

I was also very bothered by the mother's constant criticism of the daughter; nothing Frances did was ever good enough. I sympathized with Frances and cheered for her as she started to make her own decisions about her future. I almost cried when Frances's mother beat her with the trophy Frances herself had won at a speech tournament, but I was glad that this book had a happy ending.

Like I said, I almost didn't finish this book. The pop-culture references from the late eighties dated the book, and the strong emphasis on Chinese culture without highlighting any of its beauties almost gave this book a "fictional memoir" feel. The same story with the same lessons has been repeated in many places (if you don't believe me, watch Ice Princess). This book isn't a beach read, but it is a good "see how authors are treating child abuse in YA literature" read. (less)

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Mar 31, 2011 Kat rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: contemporaries, ya, chinese-lit-china

I'd call this book contemporary fiction, even though it technically takes place in the 80s. Only occasionally was I reminded of the time period, and really Frances's situation-- being the daughter of a hard-working, yet brutally harsh, immigrant mother-- is far from unique to the 80s. Bitter Melon is very well-written and Frances's voice was honest and pure in a way which leaves a precise impression of her-- she's not a protagonist I'll soon be forgetting. The demeaning hardships she endures und...more I'd call this book contemporary fiction, even though it technically takes place in the 80s. Only occasionally was I reminded of the time period, and really Frances's situation-- being the daughter of a hard-working, yet brutally harsh, immigrant mother-- is far from unique to the 80s. Bitter Melon is very well-written and Frances's voice was honest and pure in a way which leaves a precise impression of her-- she's not a protagonist I'll soon be forgetting. The demeaning hardships she endures under her mother's watchful eyes and biting tongue were sometimes difficult to read, but teens' straining to meet parents' expectations, as well as the expectations of those coveted Ivy schools is a huge aspect of our lives which is underrepresented in contemp lit.

Bitter Melon introduces readers to a lot of Chinese-American culture through Frances's eyes. Her mother is a "Tiger Mom" twenty years before the phrase ever became popular-- she consistently pushes Frances to succeed in school, but her idea of greatness is limited at best. When Frances has a scheduling error and ends up in speech class instead of Calculus, she discovers a knack for public speaking and writing. Her mother has always pushed her to become a doctor-- so that she can become wealthy and one day take care of her mother, who is sick and has spent her entire life working long hours so that Frances can attend a private school. When Frances meets Derek, a (non-Chinese) boy at a Princeton Review class, she breaks another of her mother's most confining rules when she begins to secretly date him. As Frances's senior year winds down, she is faced with a huge dilemma: should she continue to obey her conniving and often abusive mother's wishes, or leave her mother to pursue her new-found dream and the boy she loves? That big question is the one author Cara Chow asks us readers as well, through Frances's well-crafted speeches and questioning of her mother's strict Confucian values which she has always respected.

As an academic-achiever who often finds herself overwhelmed by the sheer amount of choices for the future, not to mention the ongoing crises and assignments of high school, I identified with Frances completely. The way she goes on to find her own voice is inspiring and her personal transition is really just fantastic. I loved her sorta prim best friend and cousin, Theresa, as well, but found her mother very hard to sympathize with. The woman is bordering on tyrannical! She may have given up everything for her daughter's future, but that doesn't give her the right to beat Frances over the head with a trophy she won!

Bitter Melon is a unique and beautiful read, as enjoyable as it is thought-provoking.

Originally reviewed on my YA book blog: A Myriad of Books(less)

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Jan 12, 2013 Jackie rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: ya-fiction, multicultural, realistic, self-reliance, self-esteem, abuse

Bitter Melon is the eye-opening story of Frances Ching who has only one goal in life...to please her mother by excelling in high school to get into UC Berkeley and then onto medical school. But, according to her mother, she does nothing good enough and is ugly, fat, and stupid. When a mix-up places Frances in speech class instead of calculus, she is mortified and afraid of her mother's wrath. But, it is a blessing in disguise for her since she excels at speech writing and her oral presentation s...more

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Jun 22, 2012 Judy rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: contemporary, for-mimi, read-in-2012, ya

Every time I see a contemporary Asian-American YA novel, I feel a strong draw to read it, even though I've read some books that made me wince with its heavy-handed use of stereotypes or the sickeningly sweet after-school special treatment of racism.

After reading this book, I think I have a better understanding of why even as an Asian-Canadian, I struggle with reading these sorts of stories. Maybe it's because I was raised in a similar manner, with the drive to excel at school and to fill my lif...more Every time I see a contemporary Asian-American YA novel, I feel a strong draw to read it, even though I've read some books that made me wince with its heavy-handed use of stereotypes or the sickeningly sweet after-school special treatment of racism.

After reading this book, I think I have a better understanding of why even as an Asian-Canadian, I struggle with reading these sorts of stories. Maybe it's because I was raised in a similar manner, with the drive to excel at school and to fill my life with extracurricular activities. When you practice piano for an hour or two each night, then you have to finish your IB homework or study for a quiz the next day, and then you have Chinese school on Saturday and then church on Sunday, there's not really much room for a social life at times. And who wants to read a story about an over-achieving Asian girl who is more of an observer than a participant after living that sort of life for my teenage years? But I think this book tries to address a stereotypical concept in an interesting way, brought about through the decisions of the main character, Frances.

What I enjoyed about this book was actually Frances' interest with speech. I liked the discussions she had about the importance and power of words, of finding her own truth. I liked how her speech resonated with people and she believed it as truth, but in the end her truth changed and the reality was that it sounded hollow to even herself. To be honest, I found her original speech condescending, but as she developed her skills, her final speech as valedictorian really rang with "Truth" for me and I could truly applaud for her.

Like other reviewers have said, I'm not sure I believed that Frances is someone with better social skills. She constantly says awkward things, behaves in a strange manner, is easily embarrassed, and reacts to her crush in a manner that made me cringe. Theresa, her friend, even though she is quiet and shy, appears to be a lot more socially adept to me as a loyal and supportive friend. Frances doesn't seem to have any friends other than Theresa. Also, the setting in the late 1980s-early 1990s was unnecessary to me. Was the purpose just to make it more difficult to communicate because there were no cell phones or internet? Seems like a few edits could have updated the story to be set in the present.

The romance didn't work for me since I felt like Frances and Derek never really got to know each other except through those brief interactions, and then suddenly they were holding hands and sort of seeing each other. The Derek and Diana interactions were also never fully explained.

I felt like that was one of Frances' flaws that never got resolved. For a book about finding the power of words and of being able to speak for yourself, Frances never asks Derek - Where do we stand in our relationship? What's going to happen when we go to college? What's happening with me and you? You and her? What about calling Derek out on the fact that he called her and told her not to come and then she went and found him with Diana instead?

Similarly, with her interactions with her mother. I was waiting, would have cheered for her whole-heartedly if she just said straight out to her mother "I don't want to be a doctor", and then through tears and frustration and many, many days or weeks of standing her ground, finally succeeding. Or when her mother says all of those negative things to her about her appearance, if one day she will finally speak up and tell her: "I don't appreciate all the things that you are saying about me, and I want you to stop." Instead of being all "my mother is a liar", let me just speak negatively and rudely about her instead in front of strangers and friends. She never once confronts her mother directly in private.

Also, the ending really bothered me. (view spoiler)

It's only after years of moving out, becoming independent, learning about other people's childhoods, that I started to understand that my family's way of raising me was a way that was both good and bad. After becoming an adult and relating to my mother as someone who was also a teenager once, that was when I realized that a lot of what she said to me was the way that she was raised, that I couldn't blame her for that. I'm not able to control how she treats me, but I am able to control how I react to her. I am able to find words for myself to communicate with her, and to understand that even though she does give out advice still, it's my life to live. I wish that I had gotten more of that message out of this book. Or maybe my expectations are different from this sort of story.

This review has turned out to be more of a reflection on my personal life, and I felt that this book is a worthwhile read just to consider some of these concepts about different cultures and upbringings. What does it say about me when most of the things that Frances' mother says to her, I never even flinched from, because I've heard it myself or heard it spoken to someone else? (view spoiler)(less)

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Jul 16, 2011 Cecilia Gray rated it 2 of 5 stars

There's no getting around how personal my reaction to this book was going to be.

Frances is the daughter of, for lack of a better term, an Asian tiger mom, and so am I. Many reviewers have felt the mother is abusive or extreme, and I think that's a cultural judgement. To be honest, the mother wasn't that extreme for me so that doesn't color my review of the book.

Frances is under an immense amount of pressure from her sick mother to get good grades and become a doctor, which she isn't interested i...more

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May 01, 2012 Marshiee Kai rated it 4 of 5 stars

Frances Ching Fei Ting is rather an intelligent girl. Despite all her As and all her flying colours achievement, she never got any satisfactory smiles or encouragement from her mother. Her mother always compares her to Theresa, a daughter of her best friend. At first Frances hate Theresa. But after Theresa saves her from encountering humiliation, she decided that Theresa is actually not bad at all as she thought she would be.

Frances is quite puzzle when her calculus teacher thought her Speech....more

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Jun 18, 2011 Vivian rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: 250-350, romance, abuse, reviews, favorites

Reading this drove a deep pang in my heart for Frances. Her mother is entirely commanding, choosing the college that she must attend, picking the classes that she must be in, and generally directing the path in life that she must take. All regardless of what her daughter wants. And all so that in time, her daughter would have the education to become a doctor and have enough money to give back to her mother for her hard work in providing Frances that opportunity to succeed. However, Frances doesn...more

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Jun 23, 2012 Kay Mcgriff rated it 4 of 5 stars

I had Bitter Melon (Scholastic 2011) by Cara Chow in the box of books behind my desk for most of the year before I brought it home for the summer. I wasn't sure what it was about, so I kept picking up other books to read first, but once I started reading, I couldn't put it down. I was rooting for Fei Ting or Francis from the first moment she explained the contradictions within her names. The tension between "fly" and "stop" and "free" in the meanings of her names carried through the entire novel...more I had Bitter Melon (Scholastic 2011) by Cara Chow in the box of books behind my desk for most of the year before I brought it home for the summer. I wasn't sure what it was about, so I kept picking up other books to read first, but once I started reading, I couldn't put it down. I was rooting for Fei Ting or Francis from the first moment she explained the contradictions within her names. The tension between "fly" and "stop" and "free" in the meanings of her names carried through the entire novel.

At school, Francis is a top student. She works hard to get excellent grades and is even taking an after school review class to improve an already impressive SAT score so that she can pursue a degree in medicine from UC Berkeley. A scheduling mistake lands her in speech class instead of calculus. She puts off correcting the mistake until it is too late, but speech class just might open her life to possibilities she had never considered before if she can convince her mother to let her continue. Will speech give her a chance to finally fly free?

Known at home as Fei Ting, Francis is never good enough to live up to her mother's expectations no matter how hard she works and studies. She is not nearly as smart or as talented or as obedient as Theresa, the daughter of her mother's best friend. She is not allowed to to anything but study--no boyfriends, no dances, no fun. She never knows what might set off her mother's anger or another guilt trip. I was horrified when her mother beat Francis with the trophy she won at her first speech contest. Even winning first place in a speech competition isn't good enough.

Chow explores so much in this novel: parent-child relationships, friendship and jealousy, even a little bit of romance. What spoke most powerfully to me was Francis's ever-changing understanding of success. As she competes in speech competitions throughout the year, her speech changes to reflect her growing awareness of a bigger world.

First published on my blog at http://kaymcgriff.edublogs.org/?p=4189 (less)

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Dec 22, 2010 Val rated it 5 of 5 stars

Bitter Melon by Cara Chow was a brilliantly written novel. This is one of those books that reaches out to you and makes you connect with the main character even if you are worlds apart. Something about the way Cara writes, allows you to understand and feel empathetic for what is going on in Frances’ (main character) world.
When I first read the synopsis, I was really intrigued. I wasn’t sure if I would love it but something about it reached out to me. I am so glad I was given the opportunity to...more

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Jun 20, 2011 Heather rated it 4 of 5 stars

For Frances, a young Chinese-American girl who lives in a dilapidated apartment with her mother, the pressure to succeed and fulfill her mother’s dreams for her is almost too much to bear. Though Frances is an excellent student, her mother is constantly pushing her to more and more rigorous feats of academics, hoping that one day Frances will become a doctor and take care of her financially. But though her mother is ostensibly looking out for Frances’ welfare, she can be very abusive and demeani...more For Frances, a young Chinese-American girl who lives in a dilapidated apartment with her mother, the pressure to succeed and fulfill her mother’s dreams for her is almost too much to bear. Though Frances is an excellent student, her mother is constantly pushing her to more and more rigorous feats of academics, hoping that one day Frances will become a doctor and take care of her financially. But though her mother is ostensibly looking out for Frances’ welfare, she can be very abusive and demeaning. At times, it’s all Frances can do not to give up when her mother repeatedly attacks her, both physically and emotionally. When a mistake is made with Frances’ schedule during senior year, she finds herself taking a speech class instead of the calculus class she needs to get into Berkley. Frances decides to remain in the class, and finds the class and its related competitions are the one safe haven for a girl who is trying to make her way against the heavy strictures of her mother. Soon Frances is lying and enlisting the help of her best friend to hide the fact that she’s competing in speech tournaments. Will Frances ever be free of her manipulative and cruel mother, or will she eventually bend and succumb to forces that seem stronger and stronger everyday? In this stunning and perceptive work of fiction, Cara Chow brings us the life of girl who’s desperate to escape the power of her all-consuming and abusive mother, and shares the triumphs and defeats she faces on her journey towards freedom.

When I was initially pitched this book, the publicist mentioned the story had a lot in common with that very controversial non-fiction work, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Though I haven’t read the book, I’ve certainly read about the controversy it sparked, and found that this book did indeed have a lot of the same hallmarks as Battle Hymn. It was a tough read, and while at first I didn’t see the problem with the behavior of Frances’ mother, her misbehavior grew exponentially until I could no longer stand her and I was desperate to see Frances free herself of her mother’s poisonous influence.

Part of the reason Frances wasn’t able to defend herself against her mother’s tirades and abuse was because she had been instilled with a sense of family loyalty, and because her mother touted the belief that she should always be honored, respected and obeyed. It was hard for Frances to believe her mother didn’t have her best interest at heart, and the constant put-downs and debasement had a very negative effect on her self esteem. I couldn’t believe her mother was so nasty and caustic when it came to belittling her daughter and I found it repugnant that her sole motivation for pushing Frances into medical school was her own self-interest. When Frances begins to strike out on her own, her mother seems to always be one step ahead of her and soon discovers that Frances isn’t following the directions that have been set for her. This leads to more acrimonious abuse and name calling, and I began to despair for Frances and the horrible life she had to lead. Another component of the problem was that Frances and her mother were isolated from most of the community and had very little outside influence with which to temper themselves. Shutting out the rest of society, Frances’ mother kept her alienated and afraid, unable to go to anyone for the help she so desperately needed.

When Frances breaks out of her shell and begins to compete in speech competitions, she really begins to flower, both emotionally and socially, but all her advancements must be hidden from her jealous and controlling mother. As she becomes more and more enveloped in speech, she’s mentored by a teacher who cares for her and encourages her, giving Frances a sense of self worth that even her mother can’t take away. Eventually, of course, there is a showdown, and Frances’ mother becomes not only violent and abusive but painfully self-serving and controlling. It’s up to Frances to break away from her mother and into the kind of life she wants to lead, and though she’s only spreading her wings into adulthood, her mother mistakes her independence for betrayal. As Frances steps away from her mother’s influence, I cheered for her and got completely invested in her struggle to be free from the oppression that her mother so diligently presses upon her. It’s the journey from battered and abused child to free young woman that captivated me and kept me turning the pages.

I’m not sure this book directly parallels Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother because where one speaks of control and subservience in the mother/child relationship, the other speaks of unspeakable cruelty and abuse committed in a relationship that is in some ways supposed to be sacred. The book did remind me a little bit of Girl In Translation because both dealt with the relationship between a Chinese mother and daughter, and both highlighted the fallout caused by high academic and social expectations perpetrated by Chinese mothers. Girl in Translation differs because it didn’t feature abuse and manipulation on the maternal side, and I found that by introducing this concept into the story, the emotional component was heightened by several degrees. Though it was an uncomfortable story to read, it was realistic and at times very angering.

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Aug 13, 2011 Kailia rated it 4 of 5 stars

Reviewing this book will be extremely hard. I just don’t know how to review it. I liked some aspects of this book while I hated other parts of it. There were times when I felt that I wanted to throw this book across the room because I was so frustrated with it. I’m not even sure if I liked it or not. Honestly, I’m not sure of anything about this book.

Frances is a Chinese-American girl who lives with her verbally abusive mother, trying to live up to her mother’s standards of what a good Chinese g...more Reviewing this book will be extremely hard. I just don’t know how to review it. I liked some aspects of this book while I hated other parts of it. There were times when I felt that I wanted to throw this book across the room because I was so frustrated with it. I’m not even sure if I liked it or not. Honestly, I’m not sure of anything about this book.

Frances is a Chinese-American girl who lives with her verbally abusive mother, trying to live up to her mother’s standards of what a good Chinese girl should be. All her life, Frances had to live with her mother telling her how she wasn’t good enough or as good as someone else. When Frances steps into a speech class though, her life changes forever. She takes a chance and doesn’t change her schedule (to calculus because her mother said there was no other way she was getting into Berkeley). To me, Frances was in a tough spot. What could she do when the only person in her life told her she was no good? I was happy that Frances found speech. It made her free and introduced her to the world, or rather, what the world could be. I didn’t always like Frances. I think the problem was that she wanted to go against her mother but she never told her to…stop. Or defend herself against all the things her mother said to her. In another way, I understood why Frances was the way she was. I’m Asian and in a way, most people in the world consider Japanese or Chinese as Asians. I’m from India and in many times, people didn’t realize that India was in Asian. SO my point it, a lot of Asians (no matter what country your from) have similar family traditions. In most Asian families, respect to elder is very, very important. I’ve seen Asian parents act like Frances’ mom (but NEVER at that extent) and I think that’s why I was so frustrated. As an Asian kid, I’ve still not figured out Asian families.

While I liked Frances for most of the time, I wanted Frances to be stronger and braver, like she was in the ending of the book. I’m also a huge fan of romance in any book so a little more of her crush (and can I say boyfriend?) would have been awesome. Overall, Bitter Melon, Cara Chow’s debut book was touching, incredible, brutally honest and to me, something I could relate to (but NOT in the extreme way with Frances’ mom! (less)

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Jul 12, 2011 Terri rated it 5 of 5 stars

"Bitter Melon" by Cara Chow is timely. With the recent publication of the controversial New York Timer Best Seller, "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" by Amy Chua, which "...imparts the secret behind the stereotypical Asian child's phenomenal success: the Chinese mother," the topic of the successful Asian child is much talked about.

In "Bitter Melon," Chow tells us the story from the perspective of the Asian child. Frances Ching/Fei Ting lives with her mother (her father has passed away from stom...more "Bitter Melon" by Cara Chow is timely. With the recent publication of the controversial New York Timer Best Seller, "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" by Amy Chua, which "...imparts the secret behind the stereotypical Asian child's phenomenal success: the Chinese mother," the topic of the successful Asian child is much talked about.

In "Bitter Melon," Chow tells us the story from the perspective of the Asian child. Frances Ching/Fei Ting lives with her mother (her father has passed away from stomach cancer) who works tirelessly to see that her daughter has everything she needs (including private school) to focus on her education, so that she can eventually go to Berkeley, become a doctor, and take care of her mother. Gracie does not allow Frances to participate in extra-curricular activities, have friends, or date boys. She is so hard on Frances, as to be abusive. She publicly berates her, beats her, and steals from her. In her senior year, she is accidentally placed in Speech class, rather than Calculus, where she meets Ms. Taylor, who encourages her to compete on the Speech team and eventually becomes Frances's mentor. Through this process she literally finds her own voice and begins to speak her own truth.

I found "Bitter Melon" to be a very powerful, compelling story. First of all, the story is unique in that the main character has many flaws. She is not a good friend, is very selfish at times, and isn't always likable. However, the reader roots for her because it is clear that her circumstances have caused her to be this way. It was refreshing to see a realistic protagonist who wasn't completely a "good girl" and doesn't always make the right choices. It would be fun to discuss Frances with teens. Also, I work with many first generation Asian students, mostly Hmong students. I have heard stories similar to Frances's story many times. These teens see what their parents have sacrificed to bring their families to America, yet they struggle with wanting to please their parents while at the same time wanting the independence to pursue their own dreams. "Bitter Melon" is rich in Chinese cultural values. When placed side by side with "American" values, a great conundrum is created for Frances and many teens like her. As Frances says in her final Speech competition, "It is like choosing whether to cut off one's right hand or one's left hand. It is like having to decide whether to save your drowning mother, knowing that you may both drown, or swimming to the shore alone, knowing that you can only save yourself." (There are a plethora of good quotes in this novel.)

Thematic content is strong here: family, friendship, meeting the expectations of others, body image, loyalty, speaking one's truth, the value of education, parenting, being a good competitor, what it means to be successful, child abuse, etc. And there are so many lenses through which one could look at this piece - the cultural lens, for instance. One weakness is that the book is set in the late 1908's, early 1990's - other than the dates at the beginning of the chapters and the fact that texting and computers aren't mentioned, the author does little to create the essence of this time period. This could easily have taken place in 2011. But this was only a minor flaw.

I couldn't put "Bitter Melon" down. If an author can make a round in a high school Speech tournament understandable and compelling to the reader, that is a feat! Since I work with many successful students of color like Frances in my Student Book Club, this novel will be one of our reads for the coming school year! Loved it!(less)

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Nov 09, 2012 AnQi rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: book-club-books, books-in-review, historical-fiction, realistic-fiction, romance-romance-romance, young-adult

Bitter Melon was indeed a hard book to swallow. Coming from my own home where my mom and dad are constantly yakity yak yakking about my education and how I'm going to end up cleaning toilets for the rest of my life, (but don't think that people who clean toilets are dumb, please!) Bitter Melon rose to the occasion and seemed the perfect kind of thing to enlighten people of Western heritage with a nice explanation of what Tiger Parenting is like from the child's point of view. Believe me, I've be...more Bitter Melon was indeed a hard book to swallow. Coming from my own home where my mom and dad are constantly yakity yak yakking about my education and how I'm going to end up cleaning toilets for the rest of my life, (but don't think that people who clean toilets are dumb, please!) Bitter Melon rose to the occasion and seemed the perfect kind of thing to enlighten people of Western heritage with a nice explanation of what Tiger Parenting is like from the child's point of view. Believe me, I've been waiting for this book for a long, long, long, long, long, long (multiple by googol) time.

But Bitter Melon fell flat from my expectations.

One of the first things that rather bothered me was the constant mention of things like this: ""I did better than Theresa. Why is she getting most of the attention?" (pg.178) It may not be intentional, but this just annoyed the HECK out of me. Of course, Frances has been raised in the environment where jealousy is only common because you are always trying to be better than the person better at something than you. However, the constant whining kept me tearing my hair out at what an otherwise very likable character Frances would have been if she just stepped down her high pedestal for a moment. Throughout the book, Frances pressures her friend Theresa to do things she doesn't want to, convinces her to not to pursue a love interest (because, hey, she's upset because she doesn't have a boyfriend!) and always talks about how great she is at speech and other academics when she doesn't really supply any evidence.

As the book drew on, I got more and more upset at how polarized Chow had developed the differences between Frances and her mother. What I managed to get from the book when I finished reading it was that Frances was totally the good guy and that her mother was totally the bad guy. This totally misses the nuances, I think, of Chinese culture. Yes, sometimes, Tiger Parenting is sometimes harsh and even extreme. But that doesn't change that Frances' mother is her mother. At times, I felt exhausted by how many times that Frances feels the need to tell us that her mother's actions are unjust and hateful. Sometimes, I wanted a break where mother and daughter were loving in each other's company. Moments like these in the book were few and far in between.

Other sour notes were the brief romance and the time period that Chow writes this in. Derek and Frances, I thought, was a sweet addition to the story, but a highly unrealistic one. It was hard for me to believe in, and I thought that if the relationship between the two were developed more instead of the almost insta-love that it was portrayed as, I would've even enjoyed the book more as a whole. Making the story take place in the 1980's in San Francisco, I thought, didn't add a lot to the story and produced abnormal mentions of Aqua Net hairspray.

Overall, I thought this was a bit of a dramatic representation of tiger parenting. Not to say that Frances' story is not worthwhile. Her struggles in a Chinese home is heartfelt and sometimes appalling, but I feel that Chow misses some of the deeper notes associated with this culture and makes for a very one-sided read. (less)

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