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So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead
by
John Austin
Being undead can be disorienting. Your arms and other appendages tend to rot and fall off. It’s difficult to communicate with a vocabulary limited to moans and gurgles. And that smell! (Yes, it’s you.) But most of all, you must constantly find and ingest human brains. Braaaains!!!
What’s a zombie to do?
Thankfully, zombiologist John Austin details everything you need to kn...more
What’s a zombie to do?
Thankfully, zombiologist John Austin details everything you need to kn...more
Paperback, 145 pages
Published
October 1st 2010
by Chicago Review Press
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I found this book via a Goodreads Group thread, and decided it sounded fun.
As a self-confessed Zombie addict, I've read a lot of Zombie books over the past two years, and I've got very definite ideas about what I like, what entertains me, and what I don't like. This book falls firmly into two categories - I liked it, and it entertained me!
Although there is a glut of zombie-esque books available at the moment, this book is in two of the lesser travelled perspectives - survivor guide, and zombie...more
As a self-confessed Zombie addict, I've read a lot of Zombie books over the past two years, and I've got very definite ideas about what I like, what entertains me, and what I don't like. This book falls firmly into two categories - I liked it, and it entertained me!
Although there is a glut of zombie-esque books available at the moment, this book is in two of the lesser travelled perspectives - survivor guide, and zombie...more
I've enjoyed a lot of the latest rash of zombie books, including some of the first-person zombie memoirs and survivor guides. The mash-ups have been interesting, to say the least.
For some reason, though, this one didn't do much for me. I don't know if zombies have jumped the shark and are silly, or if the market is just glutted right now, but I really think the only reason this book exists is for "the final word" chapter, and the publisher thought they could build a book around it.
I give the a...more
For some reason, though, this one didn't do much for me. I don't know if zombies have jumped the shark and are silly, or if the market is just glutted right now, but I really think the only reason this book exists is for "the final word" chapter, and the publisher thought they could build a book around it.
I give the a...more
This is a really hilarious guide for those who have just become zombies. The author is playing off all of the zombie survival guides flooding the market right now, and keeps the same tone. The guide is set up so you can flip to any chapter and don't need to read it straight through, although I did. It has all kinds of fun sections like the zombie history, the ways humans make mistakes that will lead them to be eaten, the waiting for food chapters...etc. I didn't really care for all of the vehicl...more
This was a really funny book. It is about time that someone wrote a handbook to help the newly "Zombified" out there. There are plenty of non-fiction books written to help "breathers" deal with the "alleged" zombie menace (See Max Brooks' books for example) but this is the first one I ever encountered created with Zombie readers in mind. Though you might question whether zombies have the mental faculties to successfully put a book such as this to good use, you cannot deny that it is a step in th...more
Nov 06, 2012
Kate
rated it
4 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
Zombies and breathers who heart them
Shelves:
e-books,
zombie-love
Ok, so you've been infected with the z-virus and you've reanimated into a zombie, now what?
Pick up this guide my shambling friends and it will let you know how many brains you will need to consume so you don't decompose too rapidly, how to attack humans successfully so that you too can spread your infection and wipe out as many breathers as zombie possible, and how to get out of the tough situations you're bound to find yourself in.
This manual is full of great knowledge, as well as humor, and I...more
Pick up this guide my shambling friends and it will let you know how many brains you will need to consume so you don't decompose too rapidly, how to attack humans successfully so that you too can spread your infection and wipe out as many breathers as zombie possible, and how to get out of the tough situations you're bound to find yourself in.
This manual is full of great knowledge, as well as humor, and I...more
2 likes · like · see review
So Now You're A Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead is kind of the zombie counterpart to Max Brooks' The Zombie Survival Guide. Rather than serving as a manual for surviving the zombie apocalypse, this book guides reanimated corpses through some lessons on how to maximize carnage
As you might expect, it only took me a couple days to read and it only took that long because I was juggling another book along with and trying not to lose it - a distinct possibility any time I have more than one bo...more
As you might expect, it only took me a couple days to read and it only took that long because I was juggling another book along with and trying not to lose it - a distinct possibility any time I have more than one bo...more
I got this book for my kindle, through Amazons Kindle Daily Deal, and I have to say I rather enjoyed it. I might not have bought it if it hadn't been so cheap, but I'm glad I had the opportunity, because it was most definitely a fun read.
There's a slight zombie craze going on right now (perhaps with the success of AMC's The Walking Dead?), but mostly the focus is on the survivors and their fight to stay alive.
So what to do if you suddenly find yourself turning into a zombie? This book is defin...more
There's a slight zombie craze going on right now (perhaps with the success of AMC's The Walking Dead?), but mostly the focus is on the survivors and their fight to stay alive.
So what to do if you suddenly find yourself turning into a zombie? This book is defin...more
I found this to be a nice little original zombie 'handbook'. There are a lot out there for the humans in-case of the whole zombie apocalypse but there are few in the way of providing help for the zombies. I found it to be occasionally witty and for the most part pretty interesting. It's a super quick read and has a lot of pictures but of the 'serious' nature and few that kind of goofy.
Despite it's clearly goofy nature there a re few tidbits that humans can harvest for future use if need be...an...more
Despite it's clearly goofy nature there a re few tidbits that humans can harvest for future use if need be...an...more
I love zombies and this book is a quick, fun, and easy read. The book explains how to survive and how to capture human brains when you are a zombie. The book is filled with great pictures that are humorous as well. There are many funny parts throughout this book which is to be expected with a title like that. It’s a great guide for those of us that know the zombie apocalypse is right around the corner. A few moments of the book were slow and contained basic knowledge any future zombie should alr...more
Hilariously funny - recommended to all zombie fans.
A nice, quick read that happens to be humorous and informative! I love how the author incorporated real life events and history such as the migration of Homo Sapiens, the black plague, and the Great Chicago Fire of 1871. Very informative, you learn the basics of what you would expect and then a whole lot more.
Usually when I'm finished with a book I delete it from my phone/kindle app to save space.. but I think I'll keep this on there for a while. It will come in handyif when the Zombie Apocalyp...more
Usually when I'm finished with a book I delete it from my phone/kindle app to save space.. but I think I'll keep this on there for a while. It will come in handy
Some time ago I made the decision to be among the first to die in any type of apocalypse, let others carry on trying to re-make civilization, hunt, gather and hopefully bury or incinerate my body. This handbook is the best guide in case the apocalypse turns out to be of the zombie type. Since I will be among the first ones I need to know what to do. The Handbook has illustrations and instructions easy enough for a zombie to follow, zombie feeding etiquette, how to get a meal and what not to eat....more
Feb 26, 2011
josh
rated it
3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
zombie defense squads
Recommended to josh by:
"new non-fiction" shelf @ UAPL
I'm not sure how, but zombies figured out printing techniques and have published a manual of their ghoulish tactics. Fortunately, for the human resistance, it can be found in the non-fiction section of local libraries and studied to develop counter-measures to Zed tactics. The zeds feel that this knowledge prepares them to exploit perceived weaknesses in our defenses, but I see it more as one of those "good" hackers you pay to break into your system to tell you what your weaknesses are --- now t...more
Just in case the zombie apocalypse books don't work for me. This book is a must read for all new zombies. It is broken down into chapters addressing such important topics as Your Zombie Body, Hunting for Brains, Human Buffet, and Infecting. There is even a section at the end covering zombicide, for when you are just tired of being undead. There are many great illustrations throughout the book to help clarify the subject matter.
i admit i picked this book up because it looked hilarious - it was. i had recently read the forest of hands and teeth and am working on the sequels. it was surprising how much of the stuff that i read in that novel was portrayed and "explained" in the handbook. the title reminded me of the michael keaton movie "beetlejuice". a very fun and informational read. i will now be prepared for a zombie outbreak!
So the first laugh I got out if this book was that it was categorized as Non-Fiction :) It was a somewhat good read: entertaining, informative, and it covered the age old topic that's on everyone's minds: don't zombies have to poop?!?! I won't give the answer away to that one. It had lot's of funny illustrations, but it got a little old after a while, so I give it 3 stars.
The book A handbook for the newly undead by John Austin is pretty much just a handbook for the newly undead...I know this book because my brother couldnt stop thinking about a "zombie invasion".So anyway there are no probloms or any specific characters besides you as a zombie,...The book is not really suggested to ANYONE unless your a zombie or a zombie fan.
3.5 stars if it would have been possible, bought it for the reason of something new and easy to read in between some other books. For that purpose it was more then sufficient, fun written, nice viewpoint, educative (kind of) and together with the nice figures supporting the text.
So why only 3(.5) stars, simply said: ''Liked it, Read it, did his Job, and Nothing more then that.''
So why only 3(.5) stars, simply said: ''Liked it, Read it, did his Job, and Nothing more then that.''
This was just a fun read from beginning to end. Hadn't really thought about what it would be like to be a zombie, but this book definitely covers it very thoroughly.
If you're preparing for World War Z, you have to read this to know how the other side will behave. I hesitate to say "think" because, well, they're Zeds :)
If you're preparing for World War Z, you have to read this to know how the other side will behave. I hesitate to say "think" because, well, they're Zeds :)
A quick and very humorous guide to being a zombie. Truthfully, this isn't the sort of book I can read in a single sitting. Rather, it's more fun to flip through and read small excerpts every few days. Still ~ it does have its laugh out loud moments and makes a nice addition to my bookshelf :)
You'll note that I tagged this "non-fiction". I asked a highschool student to rate the popularity of zombies right now. He said that yeah, vampires were last year, but zombies are popular now.
Reviewed for Monster Librarian
So Now You're a Zombie is a book in vein of The Zen of Zombie and Z.E.O by Scott Kenemore, but rather than mix the undead and self help books it crams loads of in-jokes into a beginner's guide to zombies. While it's not necessarily a fiction book (there's no real story), it's not quite nonfiction either and often too grim to be pure humor.
What this book is, is a reflection of our current obsession with zombies and all the forms the zed stories have taken. Another...more
So Now You're a Zombie is a book in vein of The Zen of Zombie and Z.E.O by Scott Kenemore, but rather than mix the undead and self help books it crams loads of in-jokes into a beginner's guide to zombies. While it's not necessarily a fiction book (there's no real story), it's not quite nonfiction either and often too grim to be pure humor.
What this book is, is a reflection of our current obsession with zombies and all the forms the zed stories have taken. Another...more
Silly, light--was hoping for more, really. Although to be honest I bought it primarily to put it on the shelf next to the Zombie Survival Guide. Ha ha ha. I am so funny.
Unfortunately, I read the Zombie Survival Guide first, so most of the read was spent by me refuting most of this book's contents. The end message was clever though.
Very tongue-in-cheek (except some zombies don't have tongues, or cheeks). I know people love their vampires and stuff, but zombies are my personal fave, so I enjoyed this. The graphics were entertaining and the comments about first attacking your PIA boss or ex had me laughing. Good in small doses.
Great and fun book to read. John Austin was nice enough to allow me to interview him - check it out here http://zombie-popcorn.com/?p=9461
A fun week-of-Halloween read compliments of Amazon's deal of the day. The modestly-sized handbook combines wit, trenchant social commentary, and charming illustrations with just enough gross factor to appeal to our inner-philistine.
So far this is very informative for anyone who is new to being a Zombie. I suggest you all pick it up just to see how a zombie will think and react!
The first zombie manual that I have read that was geared toward zombies not humans. The charts and illustrations on better zombie habits were pretty funny but about half way through the joke began to wear thin. Maybe I'm just zombied out.
Clever idea, perhaps taken a little too far. Just not funny enough to have legs for this long
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John Austin (1790 - 1859) was a noted British jurist and published extensively concerning the philosophy of law and jurisprudence.
Austin served with the British Army in Sicily and Malta, but sold his officer's commission to study law. He became a member of the Bar during 1818. He discontinued his law practice soon after, devoted himself to the study of law as a science, and became Professor of Jur...more
More about John Austin...
Austin served with the British Army in Sicily and Malta, but sold his officer's commission to study law. He became a member of the Bar during 1818. He discontinued his law practice soon after, devoted himself to the study of law as a science, and became Professor of Jur...more
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Oct 25, 2012 07:01am