What He Must Be
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What He Must Be

4.28 of 5 stars 4.28  ·  rating details  ·  659 ratings  ·  54 reviews

All parents want their daughters to marry godly young men.
But which qualities, specifically, should they be looking
for?




What will you say when that certain young man sits down in your
living room, sweaty-palmed and tongue-tied, and asks your
permission to marry your daughter? What criteria should he meet
before the two of them join together for life? What He Must Be
. . . If He

...more
ebook, 0 pages
Published April 8th 2009 by Crossway Books & Bibles (first published January 30th 2009)
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Shaun
Ask Voddie Baucham how to best prepare for leadership and ministry and he may tell you to get married and have children. You may be wondering what that has to do with helping your daughter choose a suitor. The answer is that it has everything to do with helping your daughter choose a suitor. This book is directed at Christian parents, especially fathers. As followers of Christ it is the father’s duty to lead and minister in his own home first. If you aren’t sure what this looks like, you may wan...more
Patricia
This book deserves all five stars. Very thought-provoking, convicting, and challenging; definitely raises the bar to where it should be. I appreciate how Voddie Baucham explains everything so clearly and concisely. He bases everything on the Bible, without forcing anything or stretching anything. Then again, he doesn't need to because it's all the plain and simple truth. This was very helpful for getting the right focus and direction. I will definitely be reading this again.
Simon Van den broek
Very good, with many challenges to young men and old men.
If you want to get married, are married or have daughters you should read it.
He must:
Love children,
Provide,
Protect,
Be a priest,
Be a prophet,
Lead like Christ
Chelsea Clark
Insightful and informative book about dating and relationships. I enjoyed it and, while the information wasn't entirely new, it brought up some things to carefully consider.
Jimmy
Among the many Christian books on family, courtship and fatherhood that I have read, I think this book has become one of my top five. While the book was intended to address fathers to encourage them to think biblically of what to look for in a man who wants to marry their daughter, nevertheless I think others can benefit from reading this book too such as single mothers evaluating those interested in their daughters, or the young man who want to become a godly husband in the future. A young woma...more
Natalie Wickham
One of the things that has often been impressed upon my heart in studying the Bible is the importance of godly marriages. We see especially in the history of Israel how devastating the results were of their intermarriage with the pagan nations around them. Voddie Baucham is passionate about helping Christians understand the biblical principles pertaining to marriage. He says, “We must train a generation to follow hard after God in spit of what their forefathers have done…The marriages of our son...more
Kristine
I can't reiterate enough that hearing Pastor Baucham speak in chapel as an undergraduate has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. This book was no exception as he examined both the short- and long-term ramifications of choosing (or transforming into) a suitable husband. I encourage other girls and women to read this for themselves and consider not only finding a man who meets these standards but also how they themselves can become someone whom such a man will find desirous. With divorce...more
Heather
Are you prepared for that day when a young man sweeps your daughter off her feet? What will you say when faced with the question of giving your daughter’s hand in marriage? What does he need to be . . .if he wants to marry your daughter?

Honestly, as a mommy, I’d rather not think (at all) about the day that any of my four children will approach a conversation on marriage. I’d like to stick my head in the sand and pretend that day is a million years from now.

If you’re honest you’ll agree to feeli...more
Bob Hayton
In What He Must Be ...If He Wants to Marry My Daughter Voddie Baucham Jr. does Christian dads a favor. He challenges them with a biblical vision of Christian courtship; and he cushions his challenge with a clear cut, easy to read, guide for how to think and plan about their daughter's future marriage.

Baucham realizes his message is as controversial as it is straightforward. Our culture prejudices us to an overly romantic idea regarding marriage. While parents feel freedom to guide and support th...more
Peter B.
Considered more objectively, this is a clear and foundational book on the topic (the topic being the intersection of manhood, courtship, and marriage). From my experience, though, there weren't many new insights (though there were some) since I have heard many of these points before. Also, not all of it was directly applicable to me, as it is primarily written for fathers, though I still learned from reading those parts. It was still worth reading and helpful.

"Every governor of a family ought to...more
Jason
In What He Must Be, Voddie Baucham gives us a Biblical model for what our sons must be to fulfill their roles as husbands and fathers, and what our daughters must expect in a future husband. This book is primarily written for fathers. It challenges current dating and parenting models as unbiblical. It calls us to reevaluate how we train our children. For if we care at all about the lives our children lead as adults and about our grandchildren and great-greatchildren, we must care deeply about th...more
Kim
First off, my reviews are NOT in-depth. Rather they are quick jots of my opinion on the book.

Regarding this book: I was rather surprised. I expected a list of what he must be. I walked away with something rather different. If you want a list see "So You Want to Marry My Daughter?". Although I do not agree with the underlying premise of that book (that it is okay to date before engagement). You'll find the way VB describes in this book the reason why our family is strongly opposed to dating.

Back...more
Lady Grace
You know those books that just make you want topick up the closest Bible and dig in with a newfound joy? Well, this was one of them. This book has been on my "to-read" list for a while now, and so when I spotted it on the shelves of the Creation Museum's gift shop, I was eager to pick it up and start reading.

I was greatly encouraged by this book to seek a godly man if/when I near a time when I am seriously considering marriage. Reading it has helped me identify concrete things I should be lookin...more
Skipper Boatwright
This book is excellent on familial patriarchy. I gave this book only three stars due to its unnecessary "humor" and different points. I realize that Baucham is more than likely attempting to appeal to a wider audience and make the book more accessible at different points, but I didn't read the book for laughs. The result, then, was me simply skimming over large portions of the book to find the real meat. It was just annoying. That aside, the real "meat" was priceless. I am no father yet, but I f...more
Michelle
So far, so good. As usual, Voddie Baucham lays it out. With children that will eventually marry this is helpful in understanding the critical issues before you begin a courtship. Marrying for love alone often result in divorce. Ideally before a couple falls in love they have both determined that the other is a godly person, and this books clarifies what traits you will be looking for.

This is a great resource for fathers who have never seen the courtship process and what it entails. It is also a...more
Jash Comstock
An amazing book! Not just for dads, but also for young men who want an example of godly manhood. Also, a very convicting read.
Adam Gray
All fathers...change that...all men need to read this book. Whether married with the hopes of the blessing of a daughter in the near future or not married and looking for that godly woman, you need to understand the biblical role of the husband as well as the responsibility of the father. Too many fathers today have forsaken this and simply hand their daughters off to whomever seeks their hand first with no knowledge of the qualifications a potential husband should possess. Get this, read it, th...more
Katie
Wow, this took a while to finish! But when you're only reading it over break...yeah, it takes a while! :-P

But that didn't take away from how great this book is. In my opinion, this is a must for any young Christian man who has marriage in mind. And young lady--what better what to be on the lookout for a suitable husband then with these truths to back you up. When it comes to marriage, there are some things that a young man simply MUST have.

"The four P's", as Baucham calls it, are something I wi...more
Kimberly
What He Must Be: If He Wants to Marry My Daughter is an amazing book that everyone should read regardless of relationship status. Not only does this book encourage boys to become men and men to go stronger, but it also encourages ladies to help raise the standard for our brothers-in-Christ. I greatly appreciate how Mr. Baucham includes a clear outline of salvation and reminds the reader how, even though we are all different colors, we are from the same seed of Adam and all were fearfully and won...more
Suzee Storz
I loved this book, it gives clear guidelines taken from scripture of what a man should strive for as a husband to be or as a current husband. After I read it I asked my Dad to read it, I wanted to make sure there were no scriptures taken out of context that I missed. I also hope this book has given him a good foundation of what I am looking for, so when my dad (who is a real softy) has a sit down with a perspective men he knows were to start during the initial interigation!
Scott
I think this book is supposed to be written to fathers who will someday give away their daughters in marriage, but it can also just as appropriately be titled "What You Must Be If You Want to Marry My Daughter". Written by a pastor and a father, I appreciate how this book focuses completely on how godly you are rather than the best way to date or even what to look for in a wife. All guys who desire a Christ-centered romantic relationship MUST read this book!
Rob
Voddie Baucham has provided an excellent goal for father's and suitor's alike. His explanations of character traits to qualify as a Biblical husband are insightful and challenging.
As a father of 2 girls, it is also a personal challenge that I present the duties of a future selection before my children so that they have Biblical expectations. This also means that I am responsible to grow my daughters to be Biblical wives, help-meets.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!
Joe
Mar 31, 2010 Joe rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Christians
Shelves: family
Wonderful help to guide Christians for determining biblical qualifications for helping children seek the right mate. This is not going to be a fluffy send your child to college and hope they get lucky approach. This is an actively engaged educating and prayerful awareness for setting a standard that doesn't look to "fit in" with current cultural norms.
Mike
Great book If you have a daughter, you should read this book. If you have a son, you should read this book. If you do any pre-marrital counseling, do any pastoral work, have any single friends, and/or if you do any counseling at all with folks who want to be married someday, you should read this book. Did I mention that its a really good book?
Alex Dwyer
Baucham was insightful as useful with many personal examples. He emphasized the need for real men who will step up and lead. We live in a generation of boys who don't want to grow up and take responsibility. Baucham gives the rousing call to be men, take risks, and follow Christ's example of reckless obedience.
Philip
A much needed raising of cultural Christian expectations when it comes to the Spiritual maturity expected of young men pursuing marriage. Baucham comes down hard on the low expectations in our Christian sub-culture in a very insightful and good way.
Elaine
It was loaned to me by a friend and I skim-read it because I was very busy. It seemed good but a little preachy - not surprisingly since it was written by a pastor. ;) I liked the chapters on leadership and children.
Luke Welch
Voddie Baucham has changed my life with his words. His encouragements to Christian fathers to be Prophets, Priests, Protectors and Providers in their homes has helped fill in major gaps in my thinking.
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Voddie Baucham wears many hats. He is a husband, father, pastor, author, professor, conference speaker and church planter. He currently serves as Pastor of Preaching at Grace Family Baptist Church in Spring, TX. He has served as an adjunct professor at the College of Biblical Studies in Houston, TX, and Union University in Jackson, TN. He has also lectured at Southern Seminary.

Voddie makes the Bib...more
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