We Need to Talk About Kevin: A Novel (P.S.)

by Lionel Shriver

book data

3,520 ratings, 3.93 average rating, 1,013 reviews (more data...)

rating	frequency	%
5		34%
4		37%
3		17%
2		6%
1		4%

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published

July 1st 2006 (first published 2003) by Harper Perennial

binding

Paperback, 432 pages

characters

Eva Khatchadourian, Kevin Khatchadourian, Franklin Plaskett

literary awards

Orange Broadband Prize for Fiction (2005)

isbn

006112429X (isbn13: 9780061124297)

description

The gripping international bestseller about motherhood gone awry
Eva never really wanted to be a mother - and certainly not the mother of the unl...more

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09/15/07

Stefani rated it:

Read in April, 2007

I want the time back I spent reading this.

This book depressed me, not only because of the tragic topic (school shootings), but of the way it is handled. Kevin's mother tries to deal with the fact that her son has killed his fellow students and a teacher. This is an important and challenging topic. Unfortunately, the book tries desperately to be a page turner. Creating mock suspense, the mother tries to find out whether Kevin's crime was the result of the mistakes she made as a mom or...more

Like this review? yes (13 people liked it)

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11/30/07

Lain rated it:

It's hard to review this book when I am so appalled at what it represents. I appreciate the author's attempt to get into the whys and wherefores of teenage mass murderers, but I'm not sure the book deserves the attention it's gotten. While it definitely presents the story behind one such (fictional) criminal, I don't believe that Kevin's story is every school shooter's story.

I think the relationship between mother and son (a son trying desperately to get a reaction from a mother who...more

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06/26/07

girlcakes rated it:

Read in October, 2007

recommends it for: women contemplating having children

The pull-quote on the cover of the edition I read suggests that it's impossible to put this book down. That's almost entirely false. Out of the book's 400 pages, the first 300 were kind of like pulling teeth. Creepy, maternal teeth. The last 100 pages, however, were actually and physically impossible to look away from, and the brisk pace of the climax, after so. many. pages. of buildup, actually created a really wonderful, complete story that was very satisfying and which (god help me) made ...more The pull-quote on the cover of the edition I read suggests that it's impossible to put this book down. That's almost entirely false. Out of the book's 400 pages, the first 300 were kind of like pulling teeth. Creepy, maternal teeth. The last 100 pages, however, were actually and physically impossible to look away from, and the brisk pace of the climax, after so. many. pages. of buildup, actually created a really wonderful, complete story that was very satisfying and which (god help me) made me cry out of a bizarre sense of *happiness* at the end.

This book is a series of letters (irritating) written from a travel-writer wife (unsympathetic and irritating) to her separated husband (tiresome and, given 20 seconds and a familiarity with Western literature, leading up to an entirely transparent "twist"). These letters start out being about her day-to-day life and a mediation on their slowly decimated marriage (something I really can't relate to), but soon they become All About Kevin. Kevin being their oldest kid, their son, and who recently (in 2000) shot up a bunch of his fellow high-schoolers. It's a post-Columbine book set in pre-911 America, and it's freakishly refreshing to read an entire novel about a national tragedy that neither mentions nor cares about terrorists, threat levels, Iraq, or What's Wrong With America?

Actually, it's vaguely framed around the Florida debacle in the 2000 presidential elections, but that event is used to throw into relief how little political issues matter when your family has been destroyed. For the most part, the narrator (Eva) talks about Kevin, why she decided to have him, what it was like to raise him, and examine the ways in which she failed as a mother and a wife.

It's weirdly inspiring. I mean, she is a bad mom. Not beating-the-kids bad, but neglectful, cold, self-centered...she is, essentially, the kind of woman who could only love a child if that was all she had left. And so in a way, she ends up raising a child who, in a bid for her affection, will take everything else away from her. It's both sick and touching, and a fascinating examination of how we're supposed to move on from tragedy, how life continues no matter how much you wish it didn't.

Kevin himself is perfectly written - both sympathetic and absolutely monstrous. By the time he's 14 and terrorizing his mother behind his father's back, I found myself completely unsurprised by everything as it unfolded. Of course he ended up killing 11 people. Of course he doesn't regret it. Of course. I'm not sure at what point, if any, decent parenting could have saved him, and I like that Lionel Shriver managed to write a lengthy book without answering, or even addressing, that question.

What struck me as the most disturbing thing, in the long run - and what's stuck with me most - is that the only thing that seems to scare the kid, and the only thing that seems to at least begin to make him snap out of his narcissistic power trip, is his impending transfer from juvie to the gen pop of a federal prison. The book never gets into it, but I found it deeply upsetting that the prison system is so horrible, mass murderers are scared of it. I kind of felt as if we're supposed to be happy that Kevin's actually scared, but I mostly was just creeped out that the system itself had managed to create something even worse than Kevin.(less)

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09/14/08

Jenny rated it:

Read in September, 2008

Some readers really don't like this book and I'm not entirely sure why.

Maybe it's because I'm not a mother and I did find it believable that Eva doesn't love her son completely.

Maybe it's because I enjoy the big words that were used in the letters and found it believable that she would write this way.

Maybe I'm a sucker for good endings and this one ended with a bang.

I think the writing was superb and despite it being a hard book to read (the incid...more

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02/02/08

Libby rated it:

bookshelves: 2008-hits, darlings

Read in January, 2008

It's official: I'm in love with Lionel Shriver. First of all, she writes novels that should be gimmicky, but are not. In The Post-Birthday World she employs a doubled narrative that splits in two at its heroine's defining moment of choice/will/agency, what have you. In We Have to Talk About Kevin she goes for the epistolary form. But in both cases, the "device" is perfectly matched to the content, like an igloo (form follows function y'all). The meaning of the novel is bound to its f...more It's official: I'm in love with Lionel Shriver. First of all, she writes novels that should be gimmicky, but are not. In The Post-Birthday World she employs a doubled narrative that splits in two at its heroine's defining moment of choice/will/agency, what have you. In We Have to Talk About Kevin she goes for the epistolary form. But in both cases, the "device" is perfectly matched to the content, like an igloo (form follows function y'all). The meaning of the novel is bound to its form. Second of all, her prose is fucking delicious. Her language endlessly delights me; it is crafty, artful, funny, acute, and heartbreaking. Third, she writes with more nuance than almost any other contemporary writer I've read (that's you, Kazuo Ishiguro) about the nuances and complexities of human psychology, especially in terms of how people relate to/react to each other. Fourth, no easy answers. Lionel Shriver's work is bold and often crushingly sad, because she is brave enough to explore the various unhappinesses of life on earth without offering pat answers as to its causes. Fifth, she writes about women, messy, arrogant, willfull, meek, submissive, brilliant, dim, WOMEN. God, she's so good.

As far as We Need to Talk About Kevin goes, I could not put it down. The premise is straightforward enough: the mother of a Columbine-style teen-aged killer (the titular Kevin) writes a series of letters to her husband in which she attempts to hash out the thorny questions that their son's rampage has raised vis a vis responsibility for his crime. Eva's letters constitute an amazing dissertation on the requirements of motherhood and its attendant mythology (I think I like reading Shriver's work so much in part because I always come away from it feeling more normal about my own gender fueled ambivalencies). The book dares to suggest the possibility that some people are born bad, are, from conception, simply irredeemable. It also doesn't shrink from microscopically dissecting Eva's faults, and by so doing, fingering her as culpable. As to who or what is ultimately to blame for Kevin, suffice it to say Shriver does not provide the reader with a clear answer come novel's end. Instead, she breaks your heart.(less)

Like this review? yes (5 people liked it)

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07/20/07

Barbara rated it:

bookshelves: absolutefavs

Read in July, 2007

I don’t know where to start about this book. Disturbing? Terrifying? Sad? Brilliant! I could not put this book down from the minute I started it.

We Need To Talk About Kevin is from Lionel Shriver. I have never read one of her books before but this book was listed on the Staff Selection shelf at my local Chapters. (staff picks at my local Chapters haven't let me down yet) It grabbed me from the first page.

The story is told from a mother whose is trying to come to te...more

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08/11/08

Julie rated it:

Read in August, 2008

It's hard to know where to start in evaluating this novel. I would fall asleep reading it, then awaken in the wee hours and turn the light on to resume reading. It's haunting and it is dark, dark, dark. It is told in first person, by Eva, the mother of Kevin, her 15-year-old son who has committed mass murder "a la Columbine" and who is incarcerated. It is told entirely through her letters to her husband, Franklin, two years after the high school massacre. (Yes indeed, a true "epis...more

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08/01/08

Alex Dawson rated it:

Just given this book a second reading – its beautifully written, Lionel Shriver’s prose is so elegant, so descriptive, it kind of sucks you in and carries you along, gently journeying towards its ghastly conclusion, through events that become increasingly shocking and raise so many more questions than answers. Maybe that’s why I read it for a second time – looking for the answer to the questions – hoping that if we can explain what went wrong, the final deed will somehow be easier to...more

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04/13/08

Jenna rated it:

Read in April, 2008

recommends it for: Leah-- it's worth trying again.

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

Like this review? yes (3 people liked it)

5 comments

01/15/08

Jaime rated it:

Read in February, 2008

I don't really know where to begin here. This book was intriguing, yet very, very disturbing for a number of reasons. Eva, mother to the murdering teenage boy, is brutally honest about her misconceptions of motherhood, her feelings toward her shameless, saucy little boy, and her apparent guilt regarding his murderous rampage. Although I love her candor, I was sometimes repelled by the way in which she talked about her son. Referring to Kevin as "a little shit" as the 18 month old ...more I don't really know where to begin here. This book was intriguing, yet very, very disturbing for a number of reasons. Eva, mother to the murdering teenage boy, is brutally honest about her misconceptions of motherhood, her feelings toward her shameless, saucy little boy, and her apparent guilt regarding his murderous rampage. Although I love her candor, I was sometimes repelled by the way in which she talked about her son. Referring to Kevin as "a little shit" as the 18 month old stood defiantly in his crib, forcing herself to make a vow to be nicer to him as a three year old, and having to determinedly think about offering up any kind of affection to the boy is just beyond my comprehension. Clearly, motherhood was not something that came easily to Eva; instead her maternal instincts were cold and contrived. Does that make her responsible for what her son ultimately became? Absolutely not. Although Eva is far from mother of the year, I truly believe that Kevin had something inherently wrong with him. Sure Eva wasn't always warm and fuzzy, but there is no denying that Kevin's actions (from a frighteningly early age) were premeditated, malicious, and calculating. This could not be the sole cause of the environment in which he grew up. Even so, I'd place more of the blame for Kevin's actions and behaviors on his father, Franklin. Although Eva was chilly, Franklin tried too hard to be Kevin's friend and defended him time and again when Kevin was questioned about, well, you name it--tormenting his kindergarten classmates, causing a neighbor's bicycle accident, throwing bricks from a bridge onto a highway, etc. etc. Franklin always saw good in Kevin; at least Eva saw her son for the monster he truly was. With that said, this is definitely a book I would recommend reading. Although I can't say I loved any of the characters (except, perhaps, poor little Celia), they were well developed and remained true throughout the novel. The pacing of the novel was good, allowing the reader to gain just the right amount of insight into Kevin and his family at the appropriate time in the book. What I liked best was that the author led up to a much needed climax with an excruciating ending that I didn't see coming. (less)

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09/01/07

Jessica rated it:

Read in May, 2008

This book attacked my brain like a virus. The character of Kevin, the teenage murderer whose mom narrates the epistolary novel, was so disturbing and harrowingly well-drawn, that I think it caused some sort of chemical reaction in my brain. He gave me nightmares. I swear whenever I picked up the book gray clouds covered the sun.

In a series of letters to her estranged husband, narrator Eva dissects her family's life, from the decision to have a child to the day her son locked 9 classm...more

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04/16/09

Annalisa rated it:

(review of isbn 1582432678)

bookshelves: psychology

Read in April, 2009

recommended to Annalisa by: Jeana
recommends it for: language/violence/sexual content

This book explores the question of nature vs nurture. If you raise a psychopath was he born that way or did the fact that you never bonded with him turn him into one? I could see so many classic behaviors in the book, relationships I have witnessed, characteristics in people I know, that I chewed on the consequences and effects quite a bit as I read. In the end, I wasn't left with a satisfied feeling, but an empty, frustrated, almost evil one. Welcome to Eva's life.

Here's what I thin...more This book explores the question of nature vs nurture. If you raise a psychopath was he born that way or did the fact that you never bonded with him turn him into one? I could see so many classic behaviors in the book, relationships I have witnessed, characteristics in people I know, that I chewed on the consequences and effects quite a bit as I read. In the end, I wasn't left with a satisfied feeling, but an empty, frustrated, almost evil one. Welcome to Eva's life.

Here's what I think: the fact that Eva never wanted Kevin affected him. I think a child knows that before its born. The boy was brilliant; he had to have known from infancy that his mother's touch was cold and to know that you are unlovable certainly leaves it mark. When the only attention a child receives is negative, they'll manipulate that anger because that strength of passion is the closest thing to love they feel. But that doesn't mean that Kevin would have had a cheery happy disposition if Eva had only showered him with love. I think Kevin was born with a tendency toward the negative and Eva only expounded that. Many of these exasperated parents fall into the wrong patterns when their children push them to the edge. It is not easy to love a difficult, angry child, but to expound the situation with anger and withholdings of love is always the wrong answer. When that infant was placed in Eva's arms and she decide at that moment to play power struggle with him, she set the boundaries for a game she could not win, even if she did. And even when she realized the battle was unwinnable, she still let Kevin set the rules and drive the game instead of relenting and reevaluating the way she dealt with him. She didn't decide she loved Kevin because she was tired or lazy; she gave up the battle because he finally conceded. She won at a horrible price.

I don't think Eva ever realized just how much Kevin loved her. His hatred and desperate attempts to gain her negative attention was a manifestation of that love and her rejection of it. His rejection of his father had less to do with his shallow inane attempts at a relationship and more to do with the realization that those behaviors are what earned Eva's love. Eva shared the same disdain for life and people that Kevin did, but she was the one person who say how he was and truly rejected him for it. It must have seemed so hypocritical to him. I wanted to feel sorry for Eva, but I found her culpable. I'm not sure how much blame I place on Franklin for never listening to her concerns about Kevin and how much I think she dug her own grave. Certainly I felt her frustration and understand what it's like to feel out of sorts by disdainful personalities, but I do not exonerate her or excuse away her self-centeredness either. If Eva had tried, then Franklin would not have defended Kevin so fiercely and met her halfway. The scene where she takes Kevin to dinner and then avoids him because he trashes on her hypocrisy wanted to make me shake her. It was the one scene where I found Kevin lovable (other than when he was sick) and instead of swallowing her pride and using the opening to forge a relationship on his terms, she dismisses him. That's not to say that I could have done much better. There were times when I wanted to slap that boy and devised my own plans for power play. But I think I would have tried to love or at least understand him and experimented with different attempts at a relationship. Going through the motions was never an attempt with Eva. Every child is lovable on some level aren't they?

The writing is awfully pretentious, and it's not even the most pretentious thing about the book. All these books were inspired by Columbine. We all know that. So to write a book about school violence that takes place ten days before Columbine as if Shriver's character was the one who pushed Harris and Klebold over the edge did not sit right with me. Obviously the fictitious event had to take place sometime, but to claim that it affected history embedded in American memory is pretentious. Plus there's supposed to be a twist at the end that I found blatantly obvious from the beginning and sometimes had to reread Eva's passages because they didn't seem congruent with what I knew was coming. It doesn't always quite line up, these long-winded explanations to her husband who experienced them too. It made the writing feel more pretentious.

Shriver also pushes the envelope with her language and violence in a way that I found unnecessary. Obviously there are going to be scenes with Kevin, but the graphic nature of them was at times too much. What I found shocking had nothing to do with Shriver's distasteful way of representing the sordid details. I found it so backwards the way Eva excuses away allowing her 5-year-old to watch Braveheart and as she's desensitizing him assumes that her son who refuses to show weakness because it makes him vulnerable is already calloused. A lot of Kevin's inappropriate behavior (language, disrespect for sex, disdain for life) were traits he was raised to have. The way Eva feels she is accepting and open for not setting moral boundaries is unfortunately not that uncommon. Those kids from the sixties who rejected their parents' religion and morality don't realize that those guidelines shaped them and to not offer the same universal questions to their children means that they will take their rebellion even further, to a world I can't imagine these hippie kids would embrace. It is these greater moral questions that Shriver through Eva never addresses. The leniency with which many parents raise their children has an adverse affect. They don't feel gratitude for not having restrictions; they take the dismissal of morality for granted to an alarming amount. It is the lack of morality that I wish had been shown as just as culpable, and more shocking, than the lack of love a mother can have for her son.(less)

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06/05/08

Terry rated it:

bookshelves: fiction

This book made me feel...icky. I had heard many good things about it for years, since the hardcover was first released, and I was looking forward to reading it. It literally made me feel like I needed to take a purifying shower afterwards. I did not even want to have the book in my bedroom!

I was also shocked to find out it is/was considered by some reviewers to be a "feminist" book. Um, what? I mean, okay, the female main character (I can't even bring myself to call her a pro...more

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05/18/08

Fence rated it:

(review of isbn 1852424672)

bookshelves: 813-54

Read in August, 2006

Just before his 16th birthday Kevin Khatchadourian murders 9 people; 7 students at his high school, a teacher and a worker in the cafeteria. This is Eva’s, his mother’s version of his life. Of her life prior to Kevin’s birth and how her son changed her life. Told through letter to her husband, Franklin, the novel reveals all her thoughts and suspicions. And how the aftermath of the killings have utterly transformed her life, and who she is.

I’ve mentioned before that I’m not...more Just before his 16th birthday Kevin Khatchadourian murders 9 people; 7 students at his high school, a teacher and a worker in the cafeteria. This is Eva’s, his mother’s version of his life. Of her life prior to Kevin’s birth and how her son changed her life. Told through letter to her husband, Franklin, the novel reveals all her thoughts and suspicions. And how the aftermath of the killings have utterly transformed her life, and who she is.

I’ve mentioned before that I’m not a huge fan of first person narratives. Too often they can be a lazy way of writing. And it is all too easy for the author to include to much detail, or too little. Here, however, it works well. We meet Kevin at his birth and get to see him grow and develop as a person, until that fateful Thursday. And because we are aware of what will happen, as is Eva, she pays special attention to clues that might have alerted her. Anything that might have tipped her off.

But this, I think, is the problem. From his birth Kevin seems somewhat of a mini-monster. Driving away nannies and childminders when only an infant. I do think that babies have their own personalities, and different babies can have very different behaviours, but to ascribe such malice and rage to an infant who can’t even sit up seems a little far-fetched. It also makes the ‘investigation’ into why teenagers are increasingly turning to murder less relevant. Most of the real mass murders have been perpetrated by normal kids, or those isolated from the mainstream. Yes, Kevin is a loner, but on his own terms. All through the book he comes across as a virtual anti-christ.

But then again, this is all from Eva’s point of view, and we know that she is biased. She knows what he has done. The very fact that Kevin is a murderer must have some impact on her version of events. And because we only see things from her perspective we have no real way of telling if her memory is faulty. Or if she is portraying Kevin in a less than truthful way. She is our narrator, she is the one telling the story, and we have to trust her. Or at least trust that the events she described happened, though possibly not the way she described. Or maybe just with different motivations.

An enthralling book, I kept wanting to read more, mainly so I wouldn’t ruin the ending by thinking about it too much. Although I don’t think that it was ruined, despite me having a fair idea of what was to happen. Also, given the fact that this is a novel, and therefore fiction, it has an aspect of closure, or maybe of moving forward that is slightly unbelievable.

Despite these tiny misgivings I would recommend this book as one to read. You may not like Eva, she’s very much a woman of strong opinion, but you’ll end up engrossed in her story. And the fact that we can’t be sure whether or not to trust her adds to the story rather than detracts, as it forces us to question her.

Not one for soon-to-be parents though.(less)

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12/27/07

Katherine rated it:

Read in May, 2007

What a creepy book this was. I'd seen Elephant at the Auckland Film Festival a few years back (before Baby, when I actually had time and money to spend on frivolosities like film festival tickets) and thought it was an original, compelling take on the teenage-murder-rampage-at-school theme. This book was touted as another fresh and compelling portrayal of a teenager gone bad, told from his mother's perspective, and I started reading it when I was pregnant and wondering if my own imminent spawn w...more

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10/20/07

Brian rated it:

bookshelves: fiction, trophy-shelf

Read in November, 2007

recommends it for: I'm still struggling to answer that...

As beautiful as it is haunting. The intimate details neatly cover the underlying theme of this book: That when there's nothing left to create, destruction itself becomes a form of creation. That absence of purpose eventually gives rise to a purpose of absence, and even meaning and truth are subjected to their own demise.

It's an interesting premise, and a bit unsettling to consider that the havoc, chaos and despair of this world is also the driving force behind it's progress. That...more

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08/18/07

Sarah rated it:

bookshelves: booksread2008, fiction

Read in March, 2008

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

I really liked this book for several reasons. Lionel Shriver doesn't try to *trick* or talk down to the reader. She has created a character (Eva) who is not only brutally honest, but makes no apologies. Eva is not a sympathetic character and I really appreciated that. A book about 'blah blah blah - violence in schools - blah blah blah - why why why?' could so easily have been cliche but Shriver takes a completely different approach to an already overplayed topic. What if your child is truly a ba...more I really liked this book for several reasons. Lionel Shriver doesn't try to *trick* or talk down to the reader. She has created a character (Eva) who is not only brutally honest, but makes no apologies. Eva is not a sympathetic character and I really appreciated that. A book about 'blah blah blah - violence in schools - blah blah blah - why why why?' could so easily have been cliche but Shriver takes a completely different approach to an already overplayed topic. What if your child is truly a bad seed? What if his sociopathic tendencies have been so cleverly executed that your family thinks you are the crazy one and not your son? Eva talks at length, honestly and openly, about how from the minute her son was born she never felt an attachment to him. She never directly questions why her son did what he did. In many ways, she is as emotionally cold and detached as Kevin. Even her relationship with her daughter is without extreme emotion. What makes this book so creepy is that Eva never truly makes the connection just how alike she and her son are. Also, I liked that Kevin did not fall into the stereotype of 'school shooter'. Even better, he didn't use a gun. He's a very interesting character study -- not your typical 'oh poor me, the world is out to get me, i wear trench coats and black coats to stand out and I have access to a gun' character. Shriver has created a sociopath who deserves his own follow up novel.
I never thought that Eva's journey was cathartic nor did I think that Shriver was disguising the fact that the letters Eva writes were to her deceased husband. I think Eva wanted to put her journey in writing in hopes of having a better understanding. There is no answer to why kids act the way they do. And Kevin is an entirely different breed of interesting and terrifying kid. Eva has nothing left to lose, so through her letters she can express the utmost honesty. I believe that she did love her husband, but Shriver never makes this relationship overdramtic, in keeping with Eva's nature.
(less)

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07/27/07

Recynd rated it:

bookshelves: all-time-favorites, loved-it

Has a copy to sell/swap — Read in January, 2006

What a terrific read; brilliant writing, well-developed and interesting characters, masterful story-telling...I haven't read a book this original and compelling in ages. Plus, so dark!

After reading some of the other reviews, I gave my own impressions of this book more thought. Perhaps I mistook the author's decent vocabulary for good writing skills? Maybe the characters weren't as fleshed out as I had thought; was Eva not only shallow but one-dimensional, as well? Was Kevin a cli...more

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10/17/07

Allison rated it:

bookshelves: top-12

Read in December, 2007

recommends it for: teachers, people considering motherhood

I read this book at my cousin's demand. And I have to thank her. I've been pimping this book out since. I can usually blow thorugh a 400-page book in an afternoon. Not this one. The language and complicated themes won't allow it. I like that about this book. It took me a week to read and in doing so is the first book in a long time that I've read that I feel I got my whole 15 dollars worth.

The letter format is fantastic. In 400 pages, I never get bored by this technique and I can onl...more

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01/11/09

Addie rated it:

Has a copy to sell/swap

recommends it for: gandhi, he's the only person I can think of with enough patience

Jesus christ this book was a waste of time.

I bought it with high hopes. Boy was I wrong. I don’t even know where to begin.

Basically every character in this book is an intolerable asshole. You're supposed to sympathize with them, but it's impossible because they are all such horrible people. The whole escapade turns in to a frustratingly unsatisfying schaudenfraud.
Chapter after chapter contains nothing but the characters going OUT OF THEIR WAY to make you hate the...more

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"It must be this overarching commitment to what is really an abstraction, to one's children right or wrong, that can be even more fierce than the commitment to them as explicit, difficult people, and that can consequently keep you devoted to them when as individuals they disappoint. On my part it was this broad covenant with children-in-theory that I may have failed to make and to which I was unable to resort when Kevin finally tested my maternal ties to a perfect mathematical limit on Thursday. I didn't vote for parties, but for candidates. My opinions were as ecumenical as my larder, then still chock full of salsa verde from Mexico City, anchovies from Barcelona, lime leaves from Bangkok. I had no problem with abortion but abhorred capital punishment, which I suppose meant that I embraced the sanctity of life only in grown-ups. My environmental habits were capricious; I'd place a brick in our toilet tank, but after submitting to dozens of spit-in-the-air showers with derisory European water pressure, I would bask under a deluge of scalding water for half an hour. My closet wafter with Indian saris, Ghanaian wraparounds, and Vietnamese au dais. My vocabulary was peppered with imports -- gemutlich, scusa, hugge, mzungu. I so mixed and matched the planet that you sometimes worried I had no commitments to anything or anywhere, though you were wrong; my commitments were simply far-flung and obscenely specific. By the same token, I could not love a child; I would have to love this one. I was connected to the world by a multitude of threads, you by a few sturdy guide ropes. It was the same with patriotism: You loved the idea of the United States so much more powerfully than the country itself, and it was thanks to your embrace of the American aspiration that you could overlook the fact that your fellow Yankee parents were lining up overnight outside FAO Schwartz with thermoses of chowder to buy a limited release of Nintendo. In the particular dwells the tawdry. In the conceptual dwells the grand, the transcendent, the everlasting. Earthly countries and single malignant little boys can go to hell; the idea of countries and the idea of sons triumph for eternity. Although neither of us ever went to church, I came to conclude that you were a naturally religious person." More quotes...