Don't Ever Tell: Kathy's Story: A True Tale of a Childhood Destroyed by Neglect and Fear

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Don't Ever Tell: Kathy's Story: A True Tale of a Childhood Destroyed by Neglect and Fear

3.89 of 5 stars 3.89 · rating details · 638 ratings · 62 reviews

'I feel my story had to be told. So much evil was done there was a voice inside me shouting, "Justice".'

With no one to confide in, Kathy suffered in silence as she was battered by her father and molested by local boys.

At the age of eight, she was torn from her family and incarcerated in a series of Catholic homes. When she was sent to a psychiatric unit, she suffered terri...more

Paperback, 304 pages

Published May 18th 2006 by Mainstream Publishing (first published 2005)

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Mar 20, 2013 Jacquil added it · review of another edition

Shelves: gave-up-on-it

What a load of crap. After reading about 70 pages, the story didn't ring true. While I understand that people do have horrendous lives and tales of abuse, this was so over the top. There did not seem to be a single person of influence that this young girl encountered who was kind to her. On the balance of probabilities, your going to come across a decent person somewhere along the way. Anyway, I did a search on the internet, and sure enough, the story was discovered to be a hoax. I'm familiar wi...more

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Nov 28, 2012 Mortimer rated it 1 of 5 stars

As has been well documented by now, “Kathy’s Story/Don’t Ever Tell” was an elaborate hoax. The whole unsavory case tells us a lot about the culture of lies, deceit and false accusations targeting the Catholic Church since 2002. The book became a best-seller in Ireland and Britain. Yes, incredibly, 400,000 people were conned. In reality, they are but a tiny fraction of the millions who have been duped over the last decade.

Kathy O’Beirne claims she spent years as a slave to sadistic nuns in the Ma...more As has been well documented by now, “Kathy’s Story/Don’t Ever Tell” was an elaborate hoax. The whole unsavory case tells us a lot about the culture of lies, deceit and false accusations targeting the Catholic Church since 2002. The book became a best-seller in Ireland and Britain. Yes, incredibly, 400,000 people were conned. In reality, they are but a tiny fraction of the millions who have been duped over the last decade.

Kathy O’Beirne claims she spent years as a slave to sadistic nuns in the Magdalene laundries (institutions run by the Catholic church to house young women and unmarried mothers), how she was raped there by two priests, gave birth at the age of 13, and how she had her hand thrust into boiling fat by her alcoholic father.

It came as little surprise when family, friends, official records and respected journalist Hermann Kelly (author of “Kathy’s Real Story”) revealed that this deeply disturbed former psychiatric patient, who has a criminal record for dishonesty, made it all up.

The daughter she claims she bore at the age of 13 did not exist. And a priest who allegedly raped and beat her suffered from such severe arthritis he could not even shake hands. Moreover, she tried to bribe a friend (Margaret Power) to be a "witness" to that rape. According to official records and eyewitness statements, she was never even in a Magdalene laundry. Nonetheless, she has threatened to have those who challenge her account "dealt with."

A planned sequel to the book was unceremoniously dumped by publisher Hodder Headline in 2009.

Of course, lurid tales of child abuse and misery sell books and newspapers. False accusations can yield significant financial gain, and seldom receive or even require corroboration. In the last 3 years alone 173 false accusations have been lodged against Catholic priests in the US. In that time there have been approximately 21 accusations involving a current minor that were even deemed "credible." That is a far lower figure than is the case in other religions. The three companies that insure the majority of Protestant churches in America state that they typically receive upward of 260 reports each year of young people under 18 being sexually abused by clergy, church staff, volunteers or congregation members.

Yet those numbers are dwarfed by the abuse taking place in public schools in the US and other countries, and in society at large (stepfathers, uncles, scout leaders, coaches, teachers, and so on). The author of a 2004 report commissioned by the US Department of Education, Hofstra University’s Charol Shakeshaft, said, “The physical sexual abuse of students in schools is likely more than 100 times the abuse by priests.” Meanwhile, according to government numbers, in 2010 alone, there were some 63,527 reported cases of child sexual abuse in the United States.

So how was Kathy O’Beirne able to con so many people? Because, although child sexual abuse is a societal problem, as Professor Philip Jenkins has pointed out, our tendency as a society is to seek simplistic answers for complex social problems. Couple that with a media that today seeks to form public opinion rather than inform the public, and you can see why O’Beirne’s fabrication would meet a receptive audience, all too ready to embrace yet another “victim” of a big, bad institution. None of which should diminish our concern for genuine victims of abuse, who are done a disservice by false accusations like O’Beirne’s.

Although the Catholic Church has put its house in order (most of its abuse cases were from the mid 1960s to early 1980s), other institutions have not. Until they do, we are likely to see more “misery literature” – hopefully based on fact, not fiction.

PS I am happy to provide references for the above quotes and statistics, all of which are publicly available.
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Jun 22, 2012 Ape rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: biographies-memoirs, ireland

This doesn't make for cheerful reading. Another example of where religion has a major hold over a country, and parts of society are severly repressed. The Irish, the Christians and the Catholics don't have a monopoly on this kind of behaviour, you read about it in various forms all over the world, and all over various periods of history - the past and now - but it's still grim. And at the bottom of it all I can never understand the justification of this behaviour. What do they think they're goin...more This doesn't make for cheerful reading. Another example of where religion has a major hold over a country, and parts of society are severly repressed. The Irish, the Christians and the Catholics don't have a monopoly on this kind of behaviour, you read about it in various forms all over the world, and all over various periods of history - the past and now - but it's still grim. And at the bottom of it all I can never understand the justification of this behaviour. What do they think they're going to achieve? It is little more than pure maliciousness, a desire to be cruel and repress, so that they can feel better about themselves. I suppose it's bullying on a grand scale. What is particularly depressing about this, as other cases is that this is going on with governments, social services and human rights set up. And yet tens of thousands of Irish women's lives were written off, the women treated as sub citizen slaves to work hard for free in these Magdalen laundries and when they expired they were just tossed into mass graves - sometimes not even a death certificate - like they're just a byproduct of industry. And this was run by religious people who are supposed to CARE! And then there's all the sexual child abuse, rapes and so on that went on - both in these religious places and in the mental institutions. It's scary how recent all of this is. One of the girls depicted in this book died in 2004. She died in a mental aslym - where she was put after the laundry. Because she kept swallowing things like batteries, the doctors there put a wire mesh into her gut, which was cutting at her internal organs, pushing out against her abdomen (eventually to be properly sticking out).... it sounds like this contributed to her death. 2004. This is only 8 years ago!!! Kathy sneaked her friend out and to a hospital where they were horrified and started to treat her, but the next take the aslym had taken her back and never removed that mesh. It really is disgusting what has been going on and the way these people have been treated.

This book is the memoirs of Kathy O Beirne, who came from an abusive household where her father used to beat the living crap out of her and her mother was too weak to put a stop to it - even though she had the opportunities, such as when she took her child to see the doctors, and staff were asking about the situation. She could have said something then. When Kathy was about seven or so, she was put into a home for children, and she was never to live with her family again. She bounced about from home, to mental institution to Magdalen laundry, and "lucky her" when she was about 18, she got out and got to live in her own little flat. She was repeatedly raped and abused, and had a child just before she was 14.

I don't think the book was that fantastically written, certainly not my cup of tea. I don't usually go for these emotional child abuse books - I'd wanted to read about the Magdalen laundries - so perhaps it's partly my fault for having the wrong expectations. But I found it a bit too emotional/hysterical and child-like in its writing. Maybe a harsh thing to say as this is someone's memoirs about their non existent childhood, and a horrible story that needs to be told. But I found the later chapters, when she's out of the system and trying to help her friends and fight the system for justice more interesting in some ways. Some of the chapters on her childhood were a bit too childish... such as when she describes one of the nuns (was it a mother superior?) it always starts as the fat and ugly mother superior said this, the fat and ugly mother superior did this, oh she was fat, ugly and mean... and to be honest, for the obvious reasons, I think Kathy was a very troubled and problematic child and some of the time in these mental institutions getting treatment may actually have been for a credible reason? But how she was ever supposed to improve when some of the staff there continued in this cycle of sexual abuse, I don't know.

Addition: I am so out of touch sometimes, I must live in a cave. Having read this book and written my journal, I saw some people's reviews saying this book is a fake. I've just been reading some newspaper articles online - it would appear it is a fake. How horrible to be cashing in on other people's misery. (less)

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Apr 03, 2013 Paige Bishop rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: true-stories

I read this when I was about 13, and I found it utterly shocking. How people could be so callous and downright messed up has always been beyond me, but this book opened my eyes to the reality of life (not only in the time it was set; the reality of the cold-hearted people generally) and that is perhaps a main, if not the main, reason I finished this book so quickly. But since reading the reviews, I don't know what I'm meant to think. Obviously such horrendous things have and do happen to innocen...more

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Aug 31, 2010 Laura rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: read-2010

When i first started reading this it really reminded me of "a chils called it" in the sense that the horror starts from the very beginning. Little did i know that also this story shared with "a child called it" a title of "fake".

I personally think this must be true at least in parts. I did feel as if there was actually too much horror. Honestly i don't know if a person could go through so much horror and be mentally stable as the author claims to be.

Either this is true and the author deserves a...more

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Nov 07, 2012 Tina rated it 5 of 5 stars

OMG!!!! this book was horrific!!! in the way that this poor child was physically abused by her father from an early age, then molested by local boys and actually raped by one on the eve of her confirmation. And it just carries on, and on, and on...... physical abuse by nuns, sexual abuse by priests and when she told about the priest was sent to a mental institute!! This poor child has such a wretched life I just don't know how she manges to get through, and then in adulthood tries to get those c...more

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Apr 28, 2013 Deirdre rated it 4 of 5 stars

Simply written, but harrowing story of a young Irish girl whose life was torn apart by physical, sexual & psychological abuse at the hands of adults who were supposed to be looking after her.

This book, like many other similar autobiographical works, throws light on the shameful treatment meted out by those in power within the Catholic Church in Ireland to these innocent victims. The trust that was placed in the adults running Draconian establishments such as the Magdalen Laundries is indicat...more

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May 05, 2011 Love rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: EVA

Shelves: did-not-want-to-finish

I tried and tried, just can not get into this one :( With so many more choices out there I will gladly move on to another story.

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Dec 26, 2012 Mairead Fitzsimmons rated it 1 of 5 stars

Read this book and then discovered that it has been discounted as being untrue, which I found very disappointing. this really disturbed me as people who write these books only give leverage to those who want to believe that these things only happen rarely and that most are false accusations. It does a grave disservice to those who truly have suffered abuse and gives voice to those who insist that the majority of claims are false or have little impact. However that being said I wonder if there is...more

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Oct 15, 2010 The Bookwyrm rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

A friend gave me her copy of this book, insisting I must read. At first I was horrified at the ordeals this poor woman has gone through. Halfway into the book I started doing a bit of google searching into the Magdalene Laundries and was disappointed to find out this woman was a fraud. Although I can acknowledge that women lived awful lives in the laundries, I could not continue to read this book knowing Kathy O'Beirn was outted as a fake. I completely lost interest in the book. Maybe one day I...more

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Mar 26, 2010 Elisa rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I was sooooo disappointed when looking this book up on internet i found out it was all a lie. I lived in Ireland 5 years and I love it, and i feel a bit irish, I wanted to know more about the magdalene sisters, especially after watching the film and I thought this book was a brilliant testimony of what happened during those years, I mean there where even pictures of her best friend corroded stomach after swallowing batteries to get out of the laundries. This book made a mockery of all the reader...more

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Jun 10, 2013 Kathryn Biel rated it 3 of 5 stars

How does one rate a story of horrific child abuse? This is a simply written tale of a young woman who manages to survive and fight for others in Ireland who suffered terrible abuse at the hands of their parents, the church and the government. It is hard to believe that children in recent history were treated in such a way, being sent to mental hospitals and drugged, and then sent to the Magdalen Laundries for what can only be called slave labor. A dark period that needs more light shone on it to...more

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Sep 06, 2011 Caroline Barker rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Chilling is not the word for this book. It is horrific and appalling how these State institutions in Ireland were treating their youngsters and female occupants.

I have read articles that claim this book to be untrue, however untrue or not I personally believe that there must be certain aspects that are true and it is up to the individual reader what they believe. Nobody can deny though that some of the torture and abuse that is written in this book has taken place at one time or another somewher...more

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Jan 12, 2009 Faith rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2006, biography

An Irish biography I bought while on Ireland this summer. I would not have bought it if I had know it was written with a gost writer...

Don't Ever Tell is "Kathy's story, a true tale of a childhood destroyed by neglect and fear". She spent her childhood anbused in a series of homes of the catholic church, psyciatric units and finally the Magdalen Laundry...

A definite feel bad book, a bit like Dave Pelzer's, but the suffering are worse.

The book is also full of anger directed towards the people an...more

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Dec 15, 2008 Indira Iljas rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: novel-terjemahan

Don't ever tell. Buku yang menceritakan kebobrokan penganut agama Kristen Katolik di Irlandia (mohon maaf tidak bermaksud untuk SARA tapi memang sesuai dengan ceritanya). Bagi yang sudah membaca buku ini, alur cerita tidak jauh berbeda dengan buku yang berjudul Magdalen.

Sedikit bocoran ttg isi buku ini. Magdalen atau "Maggie" adalah sebutan bagi perempuan2 yang dianggap berdosa bagi agama Katolik. Di mata agama Katolik "maggie" ini adalah anak setan. Para maggie ini ada yang berasal dari keluarg...more

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Nov 19, 2011 Norma rated it 1 of 5 stars

I read this book. Not long after I read it there is speculation over this book that it may be a fake. I often wonder about these 'true stories' as there seemed to be an explosion of these type of books a few years ago. I did think it was a good book at the time but since all the bad press about it that is why I'm giving it one star. I have the book 'Kathy's Real Story' it is about her family telling the truth behind her book they claim her story is false. I have not read it yet but will do event...more

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Jun 07, 2009 *•.♥.•*Sabrina Rutter*•.♥.•* rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: i-own, child-abuse, favorites

After watching the movie "The Magdalen Sisters" I wanted to know more about the Magdalen laundries and it's victims.
While many beleive that this is a fabricated story the author sticks to her claim thats it's true and I beleive her. I have done allot of research on the internet and know that many women and girls suffered horribly in these laundries.
This is one of my favorite books.
This book is the same as "Don't Ever Tell: Kathy's Story: A True Tale of a Childhood Destroyed by Neglect and Fear"...more

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Nov 19, 2008 Kennedy rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: no one!

I have no doubts that the Magdalene Laundries were horrific, but while reading this book I felt that it was the "everything plus the kitchen sink" approach in piling on the misery. It rang false, and then I looked online to find out that the book has been called into question. The amount of unreliable memoirs being revealed at the moment is astounding.

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May 18, 2009 Carol Reed rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Another disturbing story about the Magdalen Laundries and Irish Catholic & state reformatory schools. The twist to this one is that there is a "rebuttal" book--essentially saying Kathy O'Beirne is lying and it didn't happen. I'm reading that book now.

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Apr 06, 2013 K.B. Walker rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 60-book-challenge, non-fiction

Painful to read but admire the author's guts and perseverance to tell her story and expose what's been hidden. I also applaud her ability to retain her faith and recognise it was individuals and a system, which failed her rather than God.

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Aug 24, 2008 Ozread added it · review of another edition Recommends it for: no one

Recommended to Ozread by: my sister

I read this horrific tale and thought how great it was that Kathy could still have hope and be optimistic after having overcome such abuse in her life. I went looking for a way to donate money to the women of the Magdalene laundries, and found out that Kathy O'Bierne was never in a Magdalene Laundry - a fact proven by women who were at the laundries at the time Kathy claimed she was there.(Kathy named the laundries she allegedly was imprisoned in after her book was published. So many inconsisten...more

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Jun 27, 2011 Amanda Seats rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: all-time-favorites, reviewed

This is a gripping book about horrible child abuse suffered at the hands of one child’s caregivers. Kathy was born to an abusive father and then shipped off to a “school” that educated its charges in the ways of suffering and sexual abuse. After Kathy tries to tell the nuns about the things the priest does to little girls, she is again sent away, this time to an asylum. There, she suffers more abuses and eventually is sent into slavery at a laundry.

Kathy’s ordeal - from start to finish - is a h...more

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Jan 02, 2009 Kerry rated it 3 of 5 stars

This is a story about a girl involuntarily committed to a Magdalan Asylum in Ireland in the 1960s (for more about the Magdalen Asylums, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magdalen...). A very sad book, it really shines a light on atrocities committed by a sometimes backward society and a culture that placed a higher value on suppressing the dark pieces of their society rather than confronting them, often from the confused direction of the Roman Catholic church. There are claims that this "true story"...more

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Feb 17, 2012 Hayley Rossi rated it 4 of 5 stars

I read this book quite a number of years ago now. But to this day I still remember what an impact it had on me. I know people that were neglected as children so I really felt like I connected with it.

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Dec 22, 2011 Winifred rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: books-i-own, autobiography, books-read-2011

This is a story of a young girl who was abused by her father and thentaken to a reformatory school run by nuns. She was also abused here. The abuser was a priest and when she tried to get help she was sent to a psychiatric hospital. During her stay here she was given electric shock treatment and also given drugs. From here she was taken to a magdalen laundry which is a workhouse. whilst here the abuse continued and when she was 14 she gave birth to a girl. Kathy also served time in mountjoy pris...more

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Jul 17, 2009 Cassie Ehlendt rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

It is crazy what people go through in their lives... makes me grateful for the BEAUTIFUL childhood memories I have.

I purchased this book in Uluru (Ayer's Rock), Australia, so I will ALWAYS keep this book!

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Jun 19, 2012 Alexandra rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: autobiography

This was absolutely harrowing...though it's under the autobiography section, it could just as easily have gone under crime...I don't think I'm going to forget this little girl's story in a hurry...

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Oct 26, 2009 Nicola rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This was extremely difficult to read. I bought it after seeing the movie 'Magdelen Sisters' a few years ago. It is very shocking and hard to believe that this actually happened not too long ago.

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May 27, 2013 Sarah Lynne rated it 1 of 5 stars

Although I have read this before, I now know its all false. I remember when reading, I thought it read more like a story than a memoir. I hope the author is ashamed if herself.

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Jan 20, 2012 Shell rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Horrible story about magdalen laundries. Heard rumours it is fake? Pretty twisted to make something like this up. Hate to think someone would do that - find it hard to believe

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