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Intimacy and Solitude: Balancing Closeness and Independence
Intimacy and Solitudeis the international bestseller that helps you enjoy closeness with others, while maintaining a firm sense of independence. Using stories from her psychotherapy practice and her own life, Stephanie Dowrick shows how intimacy begins in discovering and trusting your own self, and then bringing that personal strength into one s relationships with friends,...more
Paperback, 352 pages
Published
March 1st 2002
by Women's Press Ltd,The
(first published 1991)
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Jan 16, 2011
Jonelle
rated it
4 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
psychology,
read-in-2011
This book is a great look into how the early development of the self can affect your ability to experience intimacy or solitude. For those with too little self can muddle their identity within the relationship creating a we-self. People who experience muddled relationships are afraid of loneliness so they experience love with fear which interferes with intimacy. Vulnerability is needed in order to experience intimacy which can not be possible with fear. Of course to much of a good thing is also...more
I came across this book right before I went away for 2 weeks solo retreat. She is a brilliant writer a book that explores the importance of the balance of solitude and intimacy in life and how important it is to be comfortable with solitude and getting to know and love self to be successful in intimacy.
I am now reading another of hers. Highly recommend this author.
I am now reading another of hers. Highly recommend this author.
While the entirety of the book wasn't what I was looking for, the parts I found most interesting were helpful in identifying some person issues I had. Though dense, it's not particularly difficult to follow. A solid read overall on the topics.
This did take me some time to get through but was well worth the effort. I never realised the importance of solitude in your life and how introspection helps you relate to others better. A life changing book.
600 words exploring intimacy and solitude. Basically until one is okay with self, one is no good relating to others. Interesting, well researched, the writer could have been more objective.
Mar 06, 2009
Bibliodonna
rated it
5 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
non-fiction,
1996
One of those times when an author phrases ideas in the exact way you need to hear in order to begin to grow and heal. For me the book provided a pivotal point in my world view.
I read the book in 1994 after a life-changing event and this book helped me understand intimacy.
Dowrick provides insight into relationships - with self, parents, partners and the public - and she had me evaluating my life without even realizing it. Which was nice. I realized I held the key.
The chapters flow well and are perfectly in sync.
"Without a reliable sense of self, relationships may feel dangerous: you could easily be overwhelmed, entrapped or even lost. Without a reliable sense of sel...more
Dowrick provides insight into relationships - with self, parents, partners and the public - and she had me evaluating my life without even realizing it. Which was nice. I realized I held the key.
The chapters flow well and are perfectly in sync.
"Without a reliable sense of self, relationships may feel dangerous: you could easily be overwhelmed, entrapped or even lost. Without a reliable sense of sel...more
An excellent book, good consolation in lonely times. Dowrick is very sensible.
i am in constant need of both. it is confusing. this book validated me.
Life changing, makes you think.
Apr 24, 2012
Natasha (Diarist) Holme
rated it
1 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
advice
Turgid.
This one is going slowly. what a facinating area of study and the author is coming up with some intriguing evedince, but she's writing as though it's a school paper - a really long one at that and I find that I have to re-read paragraphs to understand it's full meaning. I'm also not that fond of her personal story which although is the reason for her research, it's not necessary to the concept of the book.
Feb 15, 2010
Jen Fumarolo
rated it
3 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
important-and-adult-like,
thought-provoking
This is like Psych 101. Very informative if a bit clinical in presentation. But the overall theme is an important one: You have to love yourself before you can truly love another. Sub-theme: All our issues go back to childhood. Sorry moms and dads, but no pressure. Good luck to us all!
I was given this book as a Christmas gift the year I divorced my husband of 10 years. It's a difficult book to read, simply because it raises so many different issues that should be examined and thought about before moving on. Ms. Dowrick has written several excellent books and I'm very happy to have started with this one. Highly recommended.
excellant book ., learning about self and other through decisions made in life. looking for someone to fill the gaps when it is yourself that has the potential. solitude so valued and yet borders on loneliness , and the search for an intellectual life filled with love .and warmth ,humour and connection with someone. i know more about myself now.
I really enjoyed reading this book. She writes very well and objectively.
I found it interesting to read the experiences of other people and have an idea of their views on the subject.
Gives you food for thought, both in relation to yourselves and other people you know,including your own family members.
A very good book on relationships, about the continuous conflict between being alone and being with others, and also about having a healthy relationship with oneself. As the author shows, our relationship with ourselves is automatically reflected in our relationship with others.
oh, me hurts.
oh, me will heal.
oh, it will be too much work.
oh, me will heal.
oh, it will be too much work.
I hate self-help books about as much as I hate hummers; this, however, is a beautiful and passionately argued book about staying connected to who you are and what you want - all as a means to create a more peaceful, loving world.
Jan 08, 2008
Acacia Bernstein
rated it
5 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
Anyone who wants to learn more about human nature
Recommended to Acacia by:
Found it in a book store one lonley night
I know it sounds cheezy, but this book was awesome. It really is a very easy read, but helps you look at your self, and other people to realize how you can strengthen yourself and help other people do the same.
This is another dog-eared book that I return to often; particularly when I am feeling alone or feel that my relationships are feeling superficial. Check out this poem from the book, by Michael Leunig - "Sitting on the Fence"
'Come sit down beside me,' - I said to myself, - And although it doesn't make sense, - I held my own hand - As a small sign of trust - And together I sat on the fence.
'Come sit down beside me,' - I said to myself, - And although it doesn't make sense, - I held my own hand - As a small sign of trust - And together I sat on the fence.
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“How we feel about our own self, how well or little we know our own self, whether we feel alive inside, largely determine the quality of the time we spend alone, as well as the quality of the relationships we have with other people.”
—
9 people liked it
“Sound crazy? It may well be, but it is precisely in relationships of intimacy that your craziness (and mine) will be hardest to conceal. p.215”
—
5 people liked it
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Jan 08, 2010 10:18am