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4th out of 25 books
—
15 voters
What We Have: A Family's Inspiring Story About Love, Loss, and Survival
by
Amy Boesky (Goodreads Author)
Read Amy Boesky's blogs and view other content on the Penguin Community.
The stirring true story of a woman who chose fearlessness in the face of a fatal family legacy and discovered the pleasure of living each moment to its fullest
At thirty-two, Amy Boesky thought she had it all figured out: a wonderful new man in her life, a great job, and the (nearly) perfect home. For...more
The stirring true story of a woman who chose fearlessness in the face of a fatal family legacy and discovered the pleasure of living each moment to its fullest
At thirty-two, Amy Boesky thought she had it all figured out: a wonderful new man in her life, a great job, and the (nearly) perfect home. For...more
Hardcover, 336 pages
Published
August 5th 2010
by Gotham
(first published July 29th 2010)
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From my book review blog, Rundpinne. (4.5 stars)
"Beautifully written with a mix of heartbreak and joy, What We Have by Amy Boesky is a deeply moving memoir of family dynamics. Amy Boesky tells her story as a daughter, a wife, a sister, a mother and of course as herself, a type “A minus” personality, whose life has been structured with special focus on time, considering the women in her family rarely live past the age of fifty. While not a memoir of ovarian cancer, the very essence of who Amy is...more
"Beautifully written with a mix of heartbreak and joy, What We Have by Amy Boesky is a deeply moving memoir of family dynamics. Amy Boesky tells her story as a daughter, a wife, a sister, a mother and of course as herself, a type “A minus” personality, whose life has been structured with special focus on time, considering the women in her family rarely live past the age of fifty. While not a memoir of ovarian cancer, the very essence of who Amy is...more
I actually read well over 50 pages of this memoir before abandoning it, uninterested in the many domestic, work-related, and pregnancy-focused details it provided. Given Amy Boesky's work as a professor of literature, I was expecting the writing to be of a much higher caliber and the observations more insightful and stimulating. I found myself leaving the text for longer and longer periods, until I was distinctly averse to reading any further. Glad I just borrowed instead of bought this one. Per...more
Cancer.
It's an ugly word, and an even uglier reality.
Nobody likes to think about it, but for some people, like Amy Boesky, it is never far from their thoughts. Amy, her two sisters, her mother, her aunt, her grandmother--all of the female members of her family lived in fear of cancer, and with good reason. Most of them lost their battles with ovarian cancer in their early 40's. They always knew it was just a matter of time before another one of them would be diagnosed with it, too.
What We Have i...more
It's an ugly word, and an even uglier reality.
Nobody likes to think about it, but for some people, like Amy Boesky, it is never far from their thoughts. Amy, her two sisters, her mother, her aunt, her grandmother--all of the female members of her family lived in fear of cancer, and with good reason. Most of them lost their battles with ovarian cancer in their early 40's. They always knew it was just a matter of time before another one of them would be diagnosed with it, too.
What We Have i...more
Have you ever plucked a book off your shelf to read, not really expecting more than a good story; only, you find so much more than you anticipated? I am sure we all have to some degree. Whether it be an even richer reading experience, a connection made with a character, a lesson learned, or something else entirely. It was that way for me and Amy Boesky's memoir, What We Have.
It is difficult for me to be objective about this book because it spoke to me on a personal level. And when Lisa of TLC Bo...more
It is difficult for me to be objective about this book because it spoke to me on a personal level. And when Lisa of TLC Bo...more
What We Have, a memoir by Amy Boesky is revealing look at the life of a woman, wife, mother, daughter, sister, and English Professor. A courageous woman born into a family where all of the women (except one) died of ovarian cancer by their mid forties.
Amy is determined to live her life and fulfill her dreams, of getting married and having two children by the age of thirty-five. She has decided to undergo voluntary surgery to have her ovaries removed when she turned thirty-five, the age when the...more
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it,
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This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it,
click here.
Betty said - this is a memoir about the author's family, what they grew up with, what developed in their immediate family. Amy shares a deeply transformative year in her family's life and invites readers to join in their joy, laughter and grief. The immediate family consists of the mother and father, and three daughters who have grown up, finished college and were into their own families. I have three daughters so it was interesting to me to see and appreciate the dynamics between these sisters....more
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it,
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What We Have is a memoir about author, Amy Boesky and growing up and having every waking moment focused on if this is the day she would be diagnosed with cancer? This is a survivor story but as Mrs. Boesky explains not in the sense that she is a cancer survivor but a “previvor”. A previvor is someone who doesn’t have cancer but has an elevated risk for having it, either through a family history or by diagnosis with a genetic mutation. Being a previvor I think is almost worse then having cancer....more
I just finished this one an hour ago so it's still fresh. It was a fairly quick, enjoyable read, given the heavy subject matter. It's this woman's story of being from a high-risk cancer family (several female relatives have died of ovarian cancer by their early 40s) and how she and her two sisters try to cram motherhood into the relatively small window between being ready and the "target age" for full hysterectomy to try to stave off the family curse. Along the way, though, her mother develops b...more
In deep conversations with female friends over the years, I have found that one of our number one fears (especially after becoming mothers ourselves) is dying of cancer. Every lump we have...every twinge we feel could certainly be the beginnings of cancer. We tend to live our lives waiting for our turn at cancer to come. When someone we love is diagnosed, our heart feels so much pain for them, but we cannot help but ask ourselves internally, "What if it happens to me?"
So, it was with a similar...more
So, it was with a similar...more
About: All of the women in the author's family have died before the age of 45 from cancer. She and her two sisters grew up knowing they were in a race against the clock...they would have to hurry, get married and have children and decide whether or not to have elective surgery in order to have a chance at life.
Overall: Loved it!
Liked: Everything.
I know, another sad someone-gets-cancer-and-dies book. But it's so much more than that. If you can handle - and felt a connection to - Still Alice, abo...more
Overall: Loved it!
Liked: Everything.
I know, another sad someone-gets-cancer-and-dies book. But it's so much more than that. If you can handle - and felt a connection to - Still Alice, abo...more
This was a book that I won on the Giveaways from Goodreads. I don't often give a book 5 stars but I felt that Amy Boesky truly deserved the rating. The book is a memoir which is set apart from ordinary memoirs because the women in the family face the genetic threat of ovarian cancer and die early.
It is not only the subject matter of the book that is gripping but Amy's style of writing. Her metahpors are fantastic. Her descriptions of feelings are right on target. For example, she discusses her...more
It is not only the subject matter of the book that is gripping but Amy's style of writing. Her metahpors are fantastic. Her descriptions of feelings are right on target. For example, she discusses her...more
Sep 26, 2010
Jane
is currently reading it
I just started this book after hearing the author speak. I'm intrigued because she grew up knowing that she had a strong family history of ovarian cancer. So strong that doctor's recommended that by age 35 she have her breasts and ovaries removed, due to the high likelihood that she carries the BRAC1 or 2 gene. This knowledge has colored her whole life. She has had to deal with the loss of her mother, and most of the women in her family to cancer. I found out I had the gene when it was too late...more
One of my tests for a book review is whether I can sum up the entire book in one word. The faster that one word comes to me, the better the book.
I had not even closed the covers on Amy Boesky’s What We Have, when I had my word …BEAUTIFUL
If this was movie, I would say ‘the cinematography is beautiful’. You know when you watch a movie and the filming is so stunning it just washes over you? Like Out of Africa. But, this is a book, so the closest I can come to this is ‘the voice is beautiful’.
To rea...more
I had not even closed the covers on Amy Boesky’s What We Have, when I had my word …BEAUTIFUL
If this was movie, I would say ‘the cinematography is beautiful’. You know when you watch a movie and the filming is so stunning it just washes over you? Like Out of Africa. But, this is a book, so the closest I can come to this is ‘the voice is beautiful’.
To rea...more
You would expect this book to be really sad, but I found it ultimately hopeful.
The book is really well-written. I found it a little funny in fact that while Amy has no control over her worrying and occasional panic while it's happening, she has enough distance to be able later to report it to us in a way that shows she is very aware she's high-strung, and occasionally unreasonable in her fears. Her husband Jacques is not at all a worrier - he's more of a wait-and-see comparison shopper. While t...more
The book is really well-written. I found it a little funny in fact that while Amy has no control over her worrying and occasional panic while it's happening, she has enough distance to be able later to report it to us in a way that shows she is very aware she's high-strung, and occasionally unreasonable in her fears. Her husband Jacques is not at all a worrier - he's more of a wait-and-see comparison shopper. While t...more
I liked this memoir. It's well-written, sincere, playful yet serious, and the author manages to bring herself and her own struggles to light in a way that feels honest. The book gave me a lot to think about, particularly as the author struggles with her own need to think ahead and be prepared and the reality of a world that throws what it wants to at you in its own time and fashion.
Ms. Boesky obviously belongs to a clan that loves and supports each other, even when it's difficult. I particularly...more
Ms. Boesky obviously belongs to a clan that loves and supports each other, even when it's difficult. I particularly...more
I loved this book. This author is good to spend time with as she learns to live her life in spite of a genetic curse that threatens her future and that of her children. As they are so different usually from their fictional characters, I'm rarely interested in authors' lives. Reading this book, I kept thinking that it would be really nice to keep up with this woman's life and to know what's going on in it. She's the main character in her own book, and you'll want to keep in touch beyond the last...more
I won a pre-release copy of this book and plowed through it. A true story about a family of women genetically inclined to die young of ovarian cancer, it is very touching - a box of kleenex nearby while reading it would come in handy. It's so easy to relate to the struggles of a newborn baby in the house, and heatwrenching to read of the way cancer seeps into their lives. Didn't like the solitary swear word that kept popping up - with the flair for words that the author has, I think if she would...more
I enjoyed her writing but I have to be honest and say there were so many moments that her lack of faith pointed to the exact answers to what she was wrestling with in her daily life. She stated often she struggled with surrendering control, she always needed a "plan", etc. all the while stating that she is an atheist. Hmm...
I don't expect everyone to believe what I believe but this was an obvious case of someone who has shunned religion based on what seems to be her own stereotypes of what faith...more
I don't expect everyone to believe what I believe but this was an obvious case of someone who has shunned religion based on what seems to be her own stereotypes of what faith...more
Interesting tale about the author's family history with breast and ovarian cancer and her struggle with the anxiety that she, her sisters and her mother face. The book follows her for a few years as she marries and starts to have children while thinking about having her ovaries removed. This book made me take a star away from a book I reviewed last week (Half a Life). It was more engaging and compelling.
Jan 02, 2012
Kathleen Payne
rated it
4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
Christi
Recommended to Kathleen by:
Nancy Summy
A friend loaned me her copy of this book and told me a little bit about the story line. I started it with a little trepidation and I found myself immediately pulled into the story. I tried to put myself in her shoes and try to understand what it would be like to know that cancer runs in the female line of your family. (My side of the family is heart attack - boom - gone.) I found it a very good read.
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it,
click here.
This was a perfect book for me. Very cathartic since the dear mother in this book was so much like my own mother; a mother of 3 daughters, going through cancer, and being strong for her family. It was affirming to read that the treatments were so much the same as I remember. This wouldn't be a book for everyone, but it just hit me at the right time in my grieving process. The book also mentioned the different stages of grief.
I would give this book 3 1/2 stars. It was very well-written...it really read like a novel to me. I become completely engrossed in this woman's life (and her family's). It proved an interesting discussion at book club: relationships between daughters and mothers and sisters; health history; health decision-making; parenting; pregnancy and child-birth. A good read.
This memoir starts out very Anne Lamott with laugh-out-loud stories of preparing for a first child and finding the perfect house. Before long, the author is grappling with the imminent loss of her mother. I don't want to say more because it's really better to go into this one blind. The person who gave me the book instructed me not to read the prologue and I am glad I listened to her.
I read this after losing my young daughter to cancer, being diagnosed with cancer, being diagnosed with a genetic mutation, and then being diagnosed with a brain tumor. While our stories are different in many ways, I could appreciate, identify or at least sympathize with a lot of this.
coming from a very religious background, it was interesting to read a book about cancer and dying from the perspective of a family that are not religious and how they find peace during very difficult times. regardless of their religion, they are obviously a family that love each other.
I thought this book was ok. The point seemed to get a little blurred for me. Maybe I've been in a reading slump. But anyway, I thought the link b/w family members and cancer was interesting. My Grandmother had breast cancer and I always wonder if it's in the cards for me.
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Amy Boesky has written in a range of genres, from a picture book for children (Planet Was) to bestselling books for teenagers (Sweet Valley High,The Beacon Street Girls) to scholarship on 17th-century british literature. What We Have, her first work of creative nonfiction, is a candid account of her family's discovery that they carry the BRCA1 mutation, the so-called "breast cancer gene."
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“That's how it is for me, thinking about the future. Two different shapes. One holding time; the other escaping it. One suggesting fragility, confinement; the other, something transcendent. Turn it one way, you see an hourglass. Turn it the other way, and you see wings.”
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3 people liked it
“As I was coming to see, life makes its own calendar, and if you're wise, that's the one you follow.”
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2 people liked it
More quotes…
Sep 18, 2010 04:37pm