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Beam Me Up, Jesus: A Heathen's Guide to the Rapture
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Beam Me Up, Jesus: A Heathen's Guide to the Rapture

3.13  ·  Rating Details ·  64 Ratings  ·  16 Reviews
The wildly funny response to the Left Behind series, Beam Me Up, Jesus will help the reader navigate their way through born-again America, with tips on how to avoid being Left Behind, how to protect oneself against demonic locusts, and how to find a guide to class-action suits and post-Rapture therapy.
Paperback, 256 pages
Published May 16th 2007 by Nation Books (first published May 15th 2007)
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30)
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Robert Herald
Oct 16, 2009 Robert Herald rated it did not like it
I should have read the description of the author: "Jim Gerrard is (a)...stand-up comic." Thsi book is really hafl-smart, half stupid jokes and all bad. Many times, a paragraph will start out serious and I think I'm going to learn something but then he it turns into a bad joke. F'rinstance, "To Boil down Revelation, it's God going postal on the unrepentant and an awful wicked beast ruling the whole world while flipping God the bird." And all of the jokes are bad. At least all of the jokes in the ...more
Katharine Grubb
Dec 06, 2007 Katharine Grubb rated it liked it
Recommends it for: heathens! with a sense of humor about it
Shelves: funny
Funny. Pretty politically charged, which is too bad because the book will end up dated in just a few years time. Granted, he pokes fun at liberals and conservatives fairly equally. There are a lot of pop culture jabs- some which I really didn't get. All in all, I laughed a lot. There were several parts I skipped beacuse the jokes were beat to death though. I don't know much about what others think of "Rapture" and I learned that people are stupider than I thought. Just when I think this world is ...more
Christie
Sep 06, 2008 Christie rated it it was amazing
What the believers think is going to happen to us after the Rapture. First he goes through a history of the Rapture; It wasn’t in the original text, John thought it up later in commentary. Then he goes through what might happen and how funny it will be when pilots see naked people just floating up to heaven while the pilot is trying to navigate a plane.
Leigh
May 18, 2007 Leigh rated it did not like it
I was hoping to read something funny and cynical. Instead, the author was seriously angry, barely containing his bitterness with Christianity. Poking fun at religion, I'm cool with. Shameless prejudice--not so cool. Hell, I'm not even Christian.
Jeanette  "Astute Crabbist"
I mostly just scanned this rather than reading it. Mostly not all that funny, but a few laugh out loud moments. I just love it when someone points out the idiocy of certain religious beliefs that people haven't examined carefully.
shay
Mar 28, 2008 shay rated it did not like it
Shelves: 100books08
this book started out with some potential then got stupid. he tried to hard to be funny and the whole thing was just dumb. i chuckled at a couple of parts, but for the most part i was just waiting for the book to be over. thoroughly disappointing.
Charla aka Chuckie
Sep 24, 2008 Charla aka Chuckie rated it liked it
It was amusing in a cheeky way. If you are a devout Christian you won't like it. Read it with a grain of salt of course. After I was halfway through I was over it though, it was just more of the same.
Jennifer
Nov 18, 2007 Jennifer rated it liked it
This book showed a lot of promise. It was fascinating, but at times I feel like the author got carried away with some kind of hokey creative comedy writing. Plus, despite not being religious, I kind of felt wicked reading it. It is informative and amusing, but I wouldn't rush out and buy it.
Evelyn Hunten
Aug 23, 2007 Evelyn Hunten rated it liked it
This was pretty hilarious but I think I missed out on some pop culture/political references. Still totally worth reading, though.
Tori
Feb 07, 2015 Tori rated it liked it
Funny and enlightening. All the things the church forgets to mention. However, the humor gets old toward the end.
Lindsay Roylance
Jul 03, 2007 Lindsay Roylance rated it it was ok
This book can be humorous, but ends up corny the majority of the time and unfortunately, uninformative. The first few pages are the best part of this book.
Lindsay
Jul 07, 2007 Lindsay rated it it was ok
This book can be humorous, but ends up corny the majority of the time and unfortunately, uninformative. The first few pages are the best part of this book.
Reagan
Oct 14, 2008 Reagan rated it liked it
Not a read from cover to cover type of book, more of a skim through. Very, very funny though, just gets a bit monotonous.
Nancy Eudeikis
Jun 23, 2011 Nancy Eudeikis rated it it was ok
Just a silly book but it had me laughing out loud in the first 3 pages. The majority of the book was stupid beyond ridiculous. I borrowed it from Kathy.
RJHall
RJHall rated it really liked it
Feb 14, 2008
Andrea
Apr 15, 2010 Andrea rated it it was amazing
Funny and irreverent. Totally nailed the blind ignorance inherent in religion.
Judson
Judson rated it it was ok
Aug 26, 2012
R M
R M rated it liked it
Jun 13, 2008
Benjamin Snyder
Benjamin Snyder rated it liked it
Jun 20, 2013
Mary
Mary rated it really liked it
Jun 25, 2008
Joseph Perry
Joseph Perry rated it liked it
Jan 14, 2014
Eric Manko
Eric Manko rated it liked it
Jan 15, 2012
Charlotte
Oct 24, 2008 Charlotte rated it liked it
A very comical look at the rapture. Fun.
Michael Goldsmith
Michael Goldsmith rated it really liked it
Aug 07, 2011
Julie Isen
Julie Isen rated it liked it
Sep 02, 2009
Josef
Josef rated it really liked it
Jun 20, 2015
Marya Mclaughlin
Marya Mclaughlin rated it really liked it
Feb 12, 2013
Likeaduck
Likeaduck rated it really liked it
Aug 28, 2014
Michael
Michael rated it it was ok
Aug 17, 2012
Jennifer
Jennifer rated it really liked it
Jul 13, 2012
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