Pink Brain, Blue Brain: How Small Differences Grow Into Troublesome Gaps -- And What We Can Do About It by Lise Eliot

Nov 30, 2012 Sarah rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: fiction, social-issues, science

Pink Brain, Blue Brain is a thorough investigation into gender differences by neuroscientist Lise Eliot. With a nuanced and scientific perspective, she delves into all the major cognitive gender differences observed in children and adults and explores the source of these differences. Initial chapters focus first on babies, then toddlers, then preschoolers and older, and later chapters address verbal differences, math differences, and emotional/interpersonal differences.

The major concept that th...more Pink Brain, Blue Brain is a thorough investigation into gender differences by neuroscientist Lise Eliot. With a nuanced and scientific perspective, she delves into all the major cognitive gender differences observed in children and adults and explores the source of these differences. Initial chapters focus first on babies, then toddlers, then preschoolers and older, and later chapters address verbal differences, math differences, and emotional/interpersonal differences.

The major concept that this book reinforced for me is that for any given difference it is not a question of nature OR nurture (genetic or environmental), but rather almost always a question of nature AND nurture. There are minor differences that can be attributed to things such as hormone levels or seemingly innate brain differences, but these differences are in all cases very small, and they grow into much larger differences through the environment the child is in. A small tendency towards one behavior or another can quickly become reinforced and enlarged when a child continually chooses or is encouraged to participate in that behavior - and vice versa. Furthermore, adult expectations for the behavior of one gender or another can further reinforce small differences. In each chapter, Eliot discusses many studies that have been done exploring the origins of gender differences - and demonstrating the ways in which adults set subconscious expectations - and concludes the chapter with many suggestions that parents, caregivers, and teachers can follow to minimize the exaggeration of small differences and instead encourage every child to develop every aspect of their abilities to their full potential.

I was hoping that Eliot would spend more time discussing the brain mechanisms involved in the nature and nurture cycle, but she only addresses this a little bit in the introduction. The main mechanism at work here is plasticity of the brain - that things we experience actually change our brain - and I think it is very important to understand. A brain difference in an adult does NOT mean that it is genetic: as Eliot points out, since we are biological creatures, of course any difference in behavior is going to stem from a biological difference, but that says nothing about how that biological difference came about.

There were just a couple things Eliot said, almost in passing, that I disagreed with, but they do not majorly detract from the book. One is her attitude towards competition: she said something to the effect that since we live in a competitive society, it is important for children to have some experience with competition. I do not agree with this perspective; I think that if children had less exposure to competition our society as a whole could become less competitive. The other was when she mentioned in passing that she encouraged her daughter in math by giving her rewards: there have been many studies that demonstrate that rewards destroy intrinsic motivation for the behavior being rewarded, so this is very much NOT a healthy way to encourage a girl in a traditionally male subject such as math.

However, all my minor caveats aside, it is overall an excellent book and I highly recommend it to anyone involved with children or interested in these topics. (less)

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Sep 26, 2012 Shana rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

(This is my review and it was originally posted on Elevate Difference).

Given the heavy media coverage about studies that “prove” significant, inborn differences between males and females, it is no surprise that we excuse or accept certain behaviors depending on whether they come from a boy or a girl. We are often led to believe that it is natural for a boy to be athletic and for a girl to demonstrate more empathy because it is part of their biology and something that cannot be helped one way or...more (This is my review and it was originally posted on Elevate Difference).

Given the heavy media coverage about studies that “prove” significant, inborn differences between males and females, it is no surprise that we excuse or accept certain behaviors depending on whether they come from a boy or a girl. We are often led to believe that it is natural for a boy to be athletic and for a girl to demonstrate more empathy because it is part of their biology and something that cannot be helped one way or another. If this were true, we would have to resign ourselves to our appropriate gender roles and stick to the activities and behaviors assigned to us by nature.

Not so, says Eliot. Right off the bat, Pink Brain, Blue Brain shows us that we must examine these studies critically in order to appreciate their message. Eliot goes through various popular studies with a fine-toothed comb and comes away with a vastly different interpretation of the data. Rather than proving innate differences between boys and girls, instead we see that these differences are really not as large as they appear and that the outcomes have been subtly manipulated and phrased in ways that present the results as far more provocative, and therefore popular with the media.

After a close scrutiny of the studies, Eliot goes on to investigate the various claims of the differences between boys and girls starting at conception and ending around puberty. Though she is a neuroscientist, Eliot provides well thought out sociological critiques along with useful explanations of biology. She fuses both the nature and nurture aspects of development to show that gender gaps are not just innate or taught, but oftentimes both. What nature instills, society tends to exaggerate. The consequences are that these gender stereotypes become self-fulfilling prophecies, and this hurts both boys and girls.

Particularly useful to those who strive to raise well-balanced children are the ideas and tips that Eliot includes at the end of nearly every chapter. For instance, she recommends pet care as a way to teach and encourage a sense of nurturing in young boys. Likewise, she suggests getting girls involved in chess in order to help foster a healthy dose of competition and to improve spatial analysis skills. We may have been dealt a specific set of cards at birth, but this by no means should limit us in what we achieve and how we excel.(less)

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Apr 07, 2012 Alison Dellit rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: gender, non-fiction, favorites

This was one of several books I picked up after I decided that I was just getting too uncomfortable with the discussion about boys and girls innate differences. Discovering feminism in the 80s, for me feminism was in large part defined by the idea that girls could do everything that boys could. Over the last 30 years, it felt insidiously as if the nature vs nuture debate pendulum had swung back in the opposite direction.

Of the books I picked up, this was easily, easily my favourite. I wish I cou...more

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Jun 19, 2011 YingYing rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Another librarian recommendation--I don't read books like this willingly, but in this case, I was forced to check it out.
It was boring. I'll be honest. I'm not big on the science of brains, and all my biology knowledge is gone, so I basically just skimmed it.
It speaks a lot of truth though, particularly about how perceived gender differences are mainly because of society--we don't LET little girls play with trains and cars, we don't LET little boys play with dolls. So therefore, little girls g...more

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Nov 26, 2010 Aurochz rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: feminism, neuorscience-evolution, science

I have been looking into the subject of gender differences more and more now. This is one of two books that has come out recently that runs contrary to most of the extreme claims made in other books about men and women. The other being DELUSIONS OF GENDER by Cordelia Fine. Both books try to show whether the differences are innate, biological or some exaggeration of one or the other. This one had a more moderate approach and was more oriented towards helping children, rather than helping adult wo...more I have been looking into the subject of gender differences more and more now. This is one of two books that has come out recently that runs contrary to most of the extreme claims made in other books about men and women. The other being DELUSIONS OF GENDER by Cordelia Fine. Both books try to show whether the differences are innate, biological or some exaggeration of one or the other. This one had a more moderate approach and was more oriented towards helping children, rather than helping adult women like Cordelia's book. Overall I liked this book, but some things made me more enthused than others. Let me explain first by going over what I dislike, which in this book isn't much.

The biggest problem I had with this book is having expectations that didn't correlate with the books contents. For one the author's main area of research in Neuroscience is neuroplasticity. This led me to believe that unlike Cordelia she would go into how this either equalized or help lessen the stratification of gender differences. That point in the book never comes though and further, despite it being her specialty she hardly talks about it other than a few scant utterances involving already well established facts concerning it, like early language acquisition. I mention this, because I think it would of been a more unique approach and the malleability of plasticity would of helped explain the learning and social aspect of differences better. Especially coming from an expert like herself. I also thought this book would of been more towards differences in adults, but that one is less of a problem on her end and more suited towards my own wants. I cant downgrade her for that. I would also say that some things she took as innate are not always innate. Such as toy differentiation and the separation of children after a certain age. These things have been known to vary from time, place and culture.

There are a lot of things I liked in this one. Overall she represented the facts well. People will have a good understanding of the current findings in neuroscience after reading this. The chapters talking about hormonal differences and similarities were especially helpful to me. Even in similar books like the one mentioned before, I haven't seen anyone go over the hormonal changes like this author does here. She offers real solutions to these gaps where they're possible and all of them follow from the evidence, rather than preconceived notions of what will work and what wont. I'm sure some people who die-hardly want to believe in innate differences for one reason or another will take this book as extreme. I thought it was rather moderate. She was just as concerned or even more concerned with helping young boys, as she was with helping girls. Boys are falling behind in a lot of subjects and this book doesn't ignore their plight. The solutions were probably the best part of the book and I didn't expect them to even be there. All of them are simple and inexpensive.

The book was well written and well formatted. It had only a few illustrations or side examples and they didn't disrupt the flow of reading. I would say that the author tried to be too moderate in tone at some points, but it was never overbearing like with some science books and interest groups.

I would recommend this book to people interested in neuroscience, especially those with young children of either sex. (less)

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Oct 09, 2010 Nathan rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: aquinas-library, sociology

An ambitious blend of neuroscience and sociology. Eliot uses both personal experience and neurobiology to critique the theory that male and female children are innately radically different from each other. Instead, social conditioning accounts for most of what comprises typical "male" and "female" roles. Thus, she reasons, boys are every bit as capable of "nurturing" activities as girls and that girls ought to engage in more competitive activities traditionally reserved for boys. This refreshing...more

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Oct 05, 2009 Sally rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: science, sexuality, parenting

This careful yet very readable examination of scientific research on brain differences between the sexes -- prenatal, infant, childhood, teen -- is an antidote to media hype about vast, obvious differences. A brain scientist, the author details the biological differences (or lack of difference) revealed by current research and suggests strategies for parents and teachers to help children of both sexes reach their full potentials. She points out that much research on sex differences in male/femal...more

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Jul 31, 2009 Shannon rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Parents

Abbreviated review - full review appears on Amazon.Com

Lise Eliot's book focuses primarily on the slight differences between male and female brains in prenatal fetuses and in infants, and how those differences may grow over time through cultural influences. She distinguishes between the effects of hormones, developmental differences, and cultural expectations and impacts. What is particularly notable is that she never makes a statement without listing an associated study. In fact, she takes apart...more

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Jan 04, 2012 Amanda rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: feminism

I have mixed feelings about this book:

PRO:
*The author knows her science and presents facts in a very levelheaded way. Sources are fastidiously documented in a nearly 100 page appendix.
*The author discusses both boys and girls, the sexist views our society holds and how those views effects their development
*The author offers suggestions for helping children nurture talents that may not be their preferred way of behaving

CONS:
*The author rarely shows any engagement with the subject and the brief mo...more

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Jan 12, 2010 Lisa rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This book was great. It does away with many old myths and presumptions about boys and girls. Here are 9 things I will never forget after reading this book. #1 The corpus callosum is the same in both sexes. #2 There is a "first puberty" at 3 months. #3 soy formula is banned in the UK. #4 pushing more writing ability in Kindergarten doesn't necessarily benefit boys because of their slower rate to develop fine motor skills. #5 most elementary school teachers are female, which can have all kinds of...more

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Aug 17, 2009 Yukari rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

People are always interested in the differences between males and females. And, unfortunately, stereotypes sell better. "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus", which Eliot referred in this book, is a very good example. I've read that book, too. While it was highly entertaining, I was not convinced. Because males in Japan behave very differently from American counterparts. I thought cultural difference was greater than gender difference. Lise Eliot's thoughtful approach "Pink Brain Blue Brain"...more People are always interested in the differences between males and females. And, unfortunately, stereotypes sell better. "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus", which Eliot referred in this book, is a very good example. I've read that book, too. While it was highly entertaining, I was not convinced. Because males in Japan behave very differently from American counterparts. I thought cultural difference was greater than gender difference. Lise Eliot's thoughtful approach "Pink Brain Blue Brain" is closer to what I have always believed as a female growing up in Japan ( male dominant society), and a mother who raises a daughter in USA.

Although I didn't have any scientific evidence to back up my belief, I didn't encourage my daughter to play with dolls. My daughter chose to play with cars, trucks, and dinosaurs when she was little and played mainly with boys because her energy level was a lot higher than other girls. When my daughter was 4, she told me " I don't want to play with Becca because she always want to do dress-ups. I hate dress-ups. It's sooo boring!" She joined a swim club when she was 6 and physically stronger than most of the boys although she was the smallest in the class. I also have never believed "girls will be less interested in science", and at high school, my daughter is known to be very good at math and science and want to become a scientist. No, she is not CAH (congenital adrenal hyperplasia) girl. Although she loved cars, trucks, and dinosaurs, she didn't like rough-and-tumble play and declared, " I am not going to do play-date with boys anymore!" when she started Kindergarten because boys became too rough to play with. And like many teenage girls, she started to pay more attentions to cute boys and dresses even though I never encourage them.

Yes, there are differences between boys and girls, biologically. As Eliot wrote, "Gender does matter, in education and everything else we do as humans.", but their differences are "hardly worlds apart". How we treat boys and girls influences their future more than biological difference. The important message is, as Eliot states, "We need to assiduously avoid prejudging any boy or girl"

"Pink Brain Blue Brain" is very thoughtful, and very interesting. I love the scientific explanations. My daughter who is interested in becoming neuroscientist wants to read this book, too. After all, I may have influenced my daughter because I love reading neuroscience books.
Eliot's "What's Going on in There? How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life" is also a very good book.

However, there are things I strongly disagree with Eliot. I don't recommend using computer software in order to help developing spatial skills. I also don't like to focus on weakness. Every kid should benefit from natural caring parenting such as speaking to children and reading books, playing ball games with them.(less)

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Yukari People are always interested in the differences between males and females. And, unfortunately, stereotypes sell better. "Men Are from Mars, Women Are...more People are always interested in the differences between males and females. And, unfortunately, stereotypes sell better. "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus", which Eliot referred in this book, is a very good example. I've read that book, too. While it was highly entertaining, I was not convinced. Because males in Japan behave very differently from American counterparts. I thought cultural difference was greater than gender difference. Lise Eliot's thoughtful approach "Pink Brain Blue Brain" is closer to what I have always believed as a female growing up in Japan ( male dominant society), and a mother who raises a daughter in USA.

Although I didn't have any scientific evidence to back up my belief, I didn't encourage my daughter to play with dolls. My daughter chose to play with cars, trucks, and dinosaurs when she was little and played mainly with boys because her energy level was a lot higher than other girls. When my daughter was 4, she told me " I don't want to play with Becca because she always want to do dress-ups. I hate dress-ups. It's sooo boring!" She joined a swim club when she was 6 and physically stronger than most of the boys although she was the smallest in the class. I also have never believed "girls will be less interested in science", and at high school, my daughter is known to be very good at math and science and want to become a scientist. No, she is not CAH (congenital adrenal hyperplasia) girl. Although she loved cars, trucks, and dinosaurs, she didn't like rough-and-tumble play and declared, " I am not going to do play-date with boys anymore!" when she started Kindergarten because boys became too rough to play with. And like many teenage girls, she started to pay more attentions to cute boys and dresses even though I never encourage them.

Yes, there are differences between boys and girls, biologically. As Eliot wrote, "Gender does matter, in education and everything else we do as humans.", but their differences are "hardly worlds apart". How we treat boys and girls influences their future more than biological difference. The important message is, as Eliot states, "We need to assiduously avoid prejudging any boy or girl"

"Pink Brain Blue Brain" is very thoughtful, and very interesting. I love the scientific explanations. My daughter who is interested in becoming neuroscientist wants to read this book, too. After all, I may have influenced my daughter because I love reading neuroscience books.
Eliot's "What's Going on in There? How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life" is also a very good book. (less)
Aug 17, 2009 03:50am

Jan 20, 2012 Dominic rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: parenting, feminism

Ever since I've been in college, I've been studying, reading about and challenging others about gender stereotypes, perceived and biological gender differences, and alternatives to traditional gender roles. Now that I am going to embark on the awesome journey of raising a child, I'm happy to have come across Lise Eliot's thoughtful and well-argued book, Pink Brain, Blue Brain. It gave me an opportunity, now three months before my baby's birth, to review and potentially revise some of my stances...more Ever since I've been in college, I've been studying, reading about and challenging others about gender stereotypes, perceived and biological gender differences, and alternatives to traditional gender roles. Now that I am going to embark on the awesome journey of raising a child, I'm happy to have come across Lise Eliot's thoughtful and well-argued book, Pink Brain, Blue Brain. It gave me an opportunity, now three months before my baby's birth, to review and potentially revise some of my stances on gender development.

What I found was refreshing, particularly because it proved what I had come to on my own: that while biology may endow girls and boys with a particular inclination toward a certain characteristic (such as aggression, empathy, creativity or physical activity), we are malleable selves and we are not slaves to biology. Eliot is thorough, though, in proving that biology does, in fact, determine certain differences in gender, but they are much more slim than most people think.

In a sense, the Nature/Nurture debate is essentially dead. It's no longer a question of whether gender is determined by biology or the world around us. Instead, the new question is to what extent Nurture can make a difference. Eliot, I believe, would say that Nurture is capable of making a tremendous difference in a young person's life and in eliminating harmful gender division. Parents and teachers have the ability to free children from the straightjacket of gender, and one doesn't have to keep the gender of one's child hidden from the world for five years, as a recent set of parents did, in order to do so.

The best parts of the book were the Parenting Tips that close each chapter. I have them dog-eared for easy reference. I admit that the book isn't always the most exciting read. I don't typically like to read nonfiction texts heavy on facts and scientific data (and I did begin to skim some of the data after I began to trust that Eliot knows her stuff and let's just leave it at that), but for the most part it was a thoroughly engaging read that I believe will be helpful once the pink or the blue outfits and the gendered toys start pouring in from my well-meaning family and friends. I can make sure my daughter or son is not exactly "free" from gender, but not pinned down by it either.(less)

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Apr 18, 2010 Caris rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2010

My grandma swears by estrogen injections. A long time ago, perhaps on the seventh day, a doctor she trusted very much started her on them and told her to never, ever stop getting them. She continued, as the estrogen made her feel good. As it turns out, lots of doctors did this. Estrogen was considered to be some kind of miracle cure; it elevated mood and enhanced overall functioning.

But in 2003, after something like thirty years of longitudinal study, it was determined that high levels of estrog...more

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Jan 17, 2010 Tiffany rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: psychology, parenting-books, non-fiction, 2009

I thought this was really intriguing. Basically, the take home message is that boys and girls are different, but not anywhere near as different (at least in the early years) as it's often thought. Experiences and socialization cement early small differences into larger gaps, and helping both genders of kids choose a wide range of activities can eliminate many of the differences in terms of careers and relationships. Specific suggestions are offered to help accomplish this - like exposing girls t...more

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Apr 14, 2012 Tiffany rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I'm just gonna go ahead and rate this 5 stars right now, even though I'm only halfway through. This book is totally informative, gives all kinds of evidence to back up claims, and makes me think! Should be a must-read for every parent, teacher, guardian, etc.

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Sep 13, 2011 Alexandra rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Accessible, straightforward but never patronising, Dr Lise Eliots systematic analysis of the neuroscience of gender difference in children is fascinating. It stresses the plasticity of infant brains, and wades into the world of nature and nurture with an informed and personally passionate perspective.

Best of all, for those of us who have children and want to try and give them as many options as possible, each chapter ends with practical suggestions to incorporate to try and balance out their exp...more

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Sep 26, 2009 Marissa Morrison rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I think that this book is an important one. Eliot shows how gender differences occur naturally and become stronger through nurture. Since young children are strongly influenced by their gender identity and tend to self-segregate, it's up to parents to strongly nudge them toward "opposite gender" toys and activities. A typical girl spends hundreds of hours in the preschool years playing mommy in her toy kitchen or painting at an easel--so she will grow stronger in verbal, empathetic, and fine mot...more

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May 23, 2010 Marie rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: nonfiction, children

As the mother of three sons, I've always been interested in learning more about what is hardwired into males and females, and what is influenced by environment. So when I heard about this book, I immediately put it on hold at the library.

Eliot is a neuroscientist, a graduate from Harvard and Columbia, an associate professor of neuroscience, and mother of two sons and a daughter. The basic premise of the book is that although yes, males and females have biologically based differences, many of ou...more

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Jan 10, 2010 Kaylee rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

A book that is geared toward educators and parents (neither of which I am or ever will be), but full of wonderful tidbits about the differences of males and females that I was interested in from the sheer perspective of being human.

Eliot delves into the stereotypical differences that apply to American males and females (though she rarely specifies "American", she does bring up other cultures often enough to remind the reader that adults around the world don't have the same sex characteristics)....more

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Sep 11, 2009 Amanda rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Parts of this book highlighted fascinating studies on gender differences and perceptions and how much of these might be innate, adding to the long-running nature vs. nurture debate. Other parts of the book read like a biology text and were, in my opinion, far less fascinating. I enjoyed her discussions of various studies, but found myself skipping paragraphs trying to plod through the biology lessons. And her recommendations just really don't add much that's new. For babies, for instance, she re...more

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Mar 30, 2010 Lara rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: feminism

Eliot offers a good rebuttal to Sax, but still falls short of really challenging the way we think about gender. She is very essentialist and normalizing, just like Sax, in her distinctions between boys and girls. I'm very against using "science" to "prove" differences between gender. Science can only prove sexual differences, not gender. Sex is biological; gender is much more complicated. She does not offer any insight into the influences of race, culture, socioeconomic backgrounds, sexuality (w...more

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Aug 19, 2012 Brian rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Recommended to Brian by: welcome to your child's brain

(3.5) Interesting, some recommendations for parents, but overall kinda dull

By the author of What's Going on in There?: How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life, this one tackles the differences between boys and girls, men and women...what's genetic, inborn, learned and purely social construct. It starts to feel a bit repetitive, and only informative when we get to some recommendations on what parents can do to encourage boys and girls alike to grow and learn to the best of...more

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Oct 01, 2009 Jean Godwin Carroll rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: motherhood-parenting-family, non-fiction

Ok, so after finishing it, I liked the author's point of view (nature is there, but nuture shapes it). However, she tended to inject her own opinions a little too frequently, which annoyed me.

The author takes on the nature/nuture polemic in this book. Her stance is that we magnify small biological differences (nature) and turn them into troublesome gaps by the way we raise girls and boys (nuture).

Sample quotes from the introduction:

"...the male-female differences that have the most impact - cog...more

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Nov 14, 2009 Veronica rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: reviewed

Eliot takes a much debated issue - are girls and boys fundamentally different? - and sets out with a well restrained heart. Eliot painstakingly goes thru all available scientific research and popular culture books to sort out the truth. Are men from Mars and women from Venus? In a nutshell, no.

What Eliot does is walk us thru the research, data and the facts about the differences. I say painstakingly because this 315 page tome has almost 40 pages of endnotes and 45 pages of bibliography and zero...more Eliot takes a much debated issue - are girls and boys fundamentally different? - and sets out with a well restrained heart. Eliot painstakingly goes thru all available scientific research and popular culture books to sort out the truth. Are men from Mars and women from Venus? In a nutshell, no.

What Eliot does is walk us thru the research, data and the facts about the differences. I say painstakingly because this 315 page tome has almost 40 pages of endnotes and 45 pages of bibliography and zero fluff. Some might find this book too much - to that I say, read the sections you want to read. Even a paragraph is worthy of your time. Take small bites if you must, you won't be disappointed.

By now I hope you get the idea that Eliot has given us a book that puts all the research in perspective. She's not far left nor far right. As the mom of two boys and one girl, she has personal interest in each side of the debate.

Eliot does a great job at taking the popular culture literature that tells us that boys and girls are so different they can't be taught together and rips it to shreds WITH DATA! Yet, she also acknowledges the boy crisis as a real phenomena WITH DATA!

And this is where I think the book is genius. Eliot gives us so much data to prove her conclusions that you find yourself nodding along with one idea, then she switches over to the "counter" issue and you nod along. Here's what I mean:

Prenatal testosterone does make a difference to how boys and girls act and think, but not as much as we think. There are biological differences to the hormone levels, but it is not the end all be all reason why boys are more aggressive, better at math or whatnot.

Eliot shows us that nature does give boys and girls their own small advantages in life, but it is our socialization that exasperates them to such an extreme that we think that bravery is masculine and the need for emotional attention is feminine. Example: In an experiment where moms were asked to guess how steep an incline their infants can climb down - face first - the moms underestimated the girls by 9 degrees. This suggests that even at infancy moms already believe that girls can't be as brave or agile at such a young age. "Girls attempted and successfully descended slopes ranging in angle from 10 degress to 46 degress, while boys attempted slopes between 12 and 38 degree (pp 66-67)." Thus no difference in performance, but a big difference in expectation. Does this mean that moms are holding back their girls?

Eliot also points out that boys are, on average, larger at birth than girls. We usually think about how tough this might had been on the woman pushing an extra few pounds of baby out, but Eliot reminds us that this is tough on the newborn too. This could be why boys are fussier babies. Where our gender ideas come into play is that Eliot points to research that shows that parents are more willing to let baby boys cry longer than baby girls. This is the beginning of toughening our boys out AND where they start to learn that expressing their emotions doesn't pay. Are we shushing our boys into their un-emo ways?

Eliot covers the gamut from in utero thru the teen years, from emotions to math skills.

What I learned here is simple and honestly pretty much what I've been saying for years too. Yes, girls and boys are different, they have biological differences, but most of the differences we see are created. Eliot shows us the research that proves over and over that there are bigger differences within genders than between them. That the differences that are there are small. SMALL!

But it also challenged me to reexamine my views of gender and how we are socializing our kids. This book didn't just reaffirm my beliefs, but it taught me a lot about how we see gender.
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Jun 07, 2011 Kim is currently reading it · review of another edition

Interesting-looking and apparently thoroughly researched, the premise is that young children hone their skills on the behaviors that society reinforces. Nothing we didn't know right? I'm looking forward to the tips this book will give me on how to encourage behaviors that society DOESN'T reinforce. More expression of feelings for little boys? More physical adventurousness for little girls? We can't rest on our laurels as parents and allow the small differences at birth become so amplified over t...more

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Aug 29, 2010 Robin rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: parents, child educators, gender studies

This book tries to tease about the question, how much of children's behavior is actually attributable to sex differences and how much is a result of (learned) gender? Each chapter follows a different stage of child development and explains what is going on at different times in development. I found it very interesting to think about how things like boys playing with legos and moving toys can ultimately contribute to advances in their understanding of math. Alternatively, girls' earlier maturity...more

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Aug 18, 2010 Shanshad Whelan rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: nonfiction

While there's some solid research and interesting points in here, it really ended up repeating the same observations again and again, which is summed up in the subtitle. Small, innate differences in boys and girls from conception on get reinforced and culturally pushed into larger separations. The innate may be unchangeable, but the cultural and social can be worked with by working more with each gender's less comfortable tendencies and striving for more egalitarian roles.

Frankly, very cerebral...more

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Aug 04, 2012 Alexis rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: kindle, parenting, science

I really enjoyed this. The book is broken down by life stages. In each, she looks at what the evidence really shows for in-built sex differences: hormones, brain structure, genetics. Then she looks at how social forces play on these differences (typically, but not always, small) to turn them into the larger gaps we see in adults. The premise is that it's not as simple as nature or nurture; rather, we start with a small dose of nature and amplify them with a lot of nurture. Along the way, she tak...more I really enjoyed this. The book is broken down by life stages. In each, she looks at what the evidence really shows for in-built sex differences: hormones, brain structure, genetics. Then she looks at how social forces play on these differences (typically, but not always, small) to turn them into the larger gaps we see in adults. The premise is that it's not as simple as nature or nurture; rather, we start with a small dose of nature and amplify them with a lot of nurture. Along the way, she takes down a lot of simplistic pop science about boys and girls and shows how studies are misquoted so that we believe the differences are more hard wired than they are--though some differences are there.

Her emphasis is on the plasticity of our brains and how we create their wiring--and how sex stereotypes become self fulfilling prophecies.

As a parent, I really enjoyed the descriptions of how parents affect their children and what we can do differently. The good news about our plastic brains is that it means we can change our interactions with children to help them develop the skills they need. It's not a simplistic explanation of how girls and boys aren't really different, or that all boys and all girls need to be treated in sex-stereotyped ways, but a way of looking at how our own ideas about sex and gender are transmitted to our children. For example, how we teach boys to suppress their emotions; how we teach girls to be nice; how we can get girls more interested in math and build spatial awareness, and how we can encourage verbal fluency in boys. I would have liked a little more examination about what boys and girls prefer to read as I felt social stereotyping wasn't as strongly examined there as it might have been (in other words, that even if boys might prefer more action, that the books that are published and how they are marketed to kids shapes their ideas of what's okay for boys and girls to read); I also think toy stereotyping got off lightly beyond the broader trucks vs. dolls problem.

Overall, I think it's a great book for anyone who has or works with kids. (less)

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Apr 08, 2012 Nova Bennett rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

After reading the utterly vile I'm With Stupid, I needed a break from idiocy and lunged for some science. I was worried at first that Pink Brain, Blue Brain would be more of the same, tired "there are differences between boys and girls, get over it!" that I've seen so many times in the past. To my relief, the author emphasized that while there are differences (and there are!), the vast majority of them are not statistically significant (for the non-scientifically minded, that's like the differen...more

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Aug 14, 2011 E rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: sciences

Why deny innate gender differences? Why not admit that it's all biological?

Because such thinking is socially lazy, bordering on the irresponsible. History and geography prove that societies vary and change greatly - constantly - throughout time and space, yet a mainstream narrative finds it much more important and interesting to examine our biologies for the reasons for gender differences. The pop science journalists of Newsweek and The New York Times regularly tout the experiments that provide...more Why deny innate gender differences? Why not admit that it's all biological?

Because such thinking is socially lazy, bordering on the irresponsible. History and geography prove that societies vary and change greatly - constantly - throughout time and space, yet a mainstream narrative finds it much more important and interesting to examine our biologies for the reasons for gender differences. The pop science journalists of Newsweek and The New York Times regularly tout the experiments that provide chauvinist headlines, essentially demanding, "Why not try to make biology prove sexism, racism and lookism, rather than try to teach ourselves how to kick these nasty habits?"

In discussing this book, one of my parents echoed another quoted by Eliot: "We were the generation that said, 'There are no natural gender differences. It's all nurture and not nature.' And then our kids proved us wrong. The girls wanted dolls and the boys wanted guns, no matter how hard we tried, and we had to admit it." My parents did a wonderful job of raising my brother and me, trying to discourage whatever sexism they could detect. But we, the children of the Baby Boomers, hardly grew up in a gender neutral society. We were absolutely bombarded with advertisements and advertisements masquerading as children's television that screamed, "Girls need BARBIES, DISNEY PRINCESSES, LITTLE MISS MAKE-UP, JEM JEWELERAGOUS, STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE, RAINBOW BRITE, CAREBEARS, AND MY LITTLE PONIES!" and "Real boys like HE-MAN, GHOSTBUSTERS, BATTLE BEASTS, THUNDER CATS, TRANSFORMERS, G.I. JOE, AND NINJA TURTLES!" ad nauseam. No sooner did my parents swear we would never own one of these plastic idols of patriarchy than a babysitter or a playmate or a neighbor would give it to us as a birthday present. If we didn't have one, our playmates invariably owned the entire set. My mother encouraged me to wear jeans, play baseball and watch "Star Wars" with my brother, reminding me that she wasn't allowed to wear pants to school until 1969. But my brother was never encouraged to wear dresses, play tea party, or watch "Sleeping Beauty." Any fellow American reading this knows that if he had been encouraged in such a way, the Gender Rules would have been read to him by playmates and the parents of playmates alike.

And yet, step out of your own society and the rules are NOT universal. Boys play with dolls at nursery school in France. Men in Russia greet each other with kisses. Traditional male garb in North Africa, Saudi Arabia and South Asia resembles Western dresses more than trousers. And boy did the 18th century European man love makeup, tights and heels. Anyone taking ALL cultures at ALL points in history into account has to concede that few gender behaviors are constant. Even the strongest patterns have proven transient. Writing this while wearing slacks, I'm doing something Western women have been doing for less than a century. The shock and hesitance at such freedom demonstrated in "A League of Their Own" now seems laughably outdated and oppressive, yet our society perpetuates such oppression of men with the ban on dresses, pumps and makeup. My parents' was not the generation that tried and were proven wrong. They were members of a small faction of their generation that didn't consider all the variables and, unfortunately, gave up.

I don't want to. Like Eliot, we should check ourselves for sexist ticks after every venture into society. Prejudice survives by virtue of being insidious, though never as microscopic as our genes.

Of course, if there were absolutely no sex differences, patriarchy would be difficult to explain. No matter how much progress is made regarding gender equality, those with female biology are the sex that can/is relied upon to have children as well as the sex that can molest but not officially rape the other. These biological differences do influence gender identity significantly, but not nearly as significantly as the mainstream narrative suggests. Lise Eliot says it best in her foreword: "Fundamentally, men and women are more similar than different. Or, as some have more succinctly put it: 'Men are from North Dakota, women are from South Dakota.' "

Her book is geared primarily at parents, offering highly detailed tips for battling social pressure at various stages of development. I thus plan to read it again when the advice is more immediately relevant to my experience.(less)

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