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I'm Looking Through You: Growing Up Haunted - A Memoir
by
Jennifer Finney Boylan (Goodreads Author)
From the bestselling author of She’s Not There comes another buoyant, unforgettable memoir—I’m Looking Through You is about growing up in a haunted house...and making peace with the ghosts that dwell in our hearts.
For Jennifer Boylan, creaking stairs, fleeting images in the mirror, and the remote whisper of human voices were everyday events in the Pennsylvania house in whi
Published
by Tantor Audio
(first published 2008)
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Look, I don't give books three stars. I'm just torn toward four and I'm torn toward two. Anyway, I just copied this from a thread I started on a messageboard, if the tone seems weird and it seems really long.
**
Fuckin Jenny Boylan, man. This is her new book: I'm Looking Through You. I wish I could remember more about her last one, She's Not There, because she is becoming the biggest Oprah-approved voice of trans women in the world and it'd be nice to track her progr...more
**
Fuckin Jenny Boylan, man. This is her new book: I'm Looking Through You. I wish I could remember more about her last one, She's Not There, because she is becoming the biggest Oprah-approved voice of trans women in the world and it'd be nice to track her progr...more
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There are many things to admire in Boylan’s latest memoir. Certainly her prose conveys consistently her quirky and entertaining personality and ironic sense of humor, while the sheer extraordinariness of her story, both with its ghosts and her life-long journey to become Jenny after living over 40 years as James, offers much to captivate a reader’s attention. However, what I found most impressive was the structure of the book. It is a brilliantly framed memoir with all of the themes central t...more
This was a book that I couldn't put down, and I found it a quick, fascinating read. The entire memoir is centered around the metaphor of a haunting: There's the physical haunting that the author felt in her old house when she grew up, and the idea that the author felt haunted in her own body while growing up the wrong gender.[return][return]The author's humor is present throughout the book, but it is bittersweet, cultivated through years of feeling odd and unaccepted, by others and herself. She ...more
I'm not ordinarily a memoir-reader (had to add a new bookshelf category in order to review this book), so the fact that I read this entire memoir cover-to-cover says a lot about its appeal. The author was born a biological male but always felt like he was living a lie, one that haunted him well into his marriage and young fatherhood. He was also haunted by actual ghosts in the old house where he spent his childhood, and so this book is really about putting all his ghosts to rest. Eventually, ...more
Last week Boylan published an interesting essay in The New York Times, in which she imagined how her late father, a successful banker from Philadelphia, might have spoken to the current members of Congress. Boylan mentioned she is transgendered: her sexual orientation didn't interest me, but her background did. She had attended the Haverford School and lived on the Main Line, where my parents owned a house and where I lived during graduate school. She and I both hold degrees in English, so exce...more
I read Jennifer's first memoir She's Not There which is amazing and everyone should read it. I was excited to find out she had written another memoir. Jennifer is haunted not only by the ghosts in her house, but by her body. It was hilarious, heartbreaking, and beautiful. I loved it.
"In the meantime, I am sustained by a saying of my mother's: "It is impossible to hate anyone whose story you know" (25).
"How is it, I wondered, that some people manage to...more
"In the meantime, I am sustained by a saying of my mother's: "It is impossible to hate anyone whose story you know" (25).
"How is it, I wondered, that some people manage to...more
I liked this a lot better than _She's Not There_, which is funny, since I got into reading JFB because of her story of growing up trans, that takes center stage in _She's Not There_. _I'm Looking Through You_ was just far more engaging-- palpable. It was more satisfying rather than less, for me, because it tells her life story from a fantasy point of departure, the concept of a haunting. This book develops that concept by capturing it from a dozen different angles, in seemingly unrelated life...more
I'd been wondering how Boylan could fit her trans-sexual background, along with the story of growing up in a haunted house, under a single premise, but it actually works well. Her being "banished" up to the haunted attic as a teen when the family moves in, rather than being encouraged to take the available bedroom on the second floor where her folks and sister slept, gave the book a rather sad start, but she got through that okay, without being traumatized.
I've been on a memoir kick lately and this one by Jennifer Boylan is quite enjoyable. Boylan's irreverent wit knows no boundaries, and her candid descriptions of what it was like to grow up as a boy wishing she was a girl revealed to me a heretofore unimagined life. Boylan's plight struck me as heartbreaking - yet her courage and perseverance are ultimately inspiring. What is this life but our search to uncover who we really are and who we really want to be? At its core, Boylan's memoir is an un...more
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review of another edition
Recommends it for:
transgendered persons, and those trying to understand them.
While the book is easy to read, and rather entertaining at times, it starts off grabbing your attention but ends up "Omg is this over yet". Its not about actual ghosts or haunted houses, but about herself being haunted. You start to get the point about 2/3 through the book, the rest is just pounding it in.
When I added this book to my must-read list, I thought it seemed pretty straightforward-- a girl who grew up in a haunted house talks about how it affected her. And yeah, I guess that's what the book is about, except that the girl was a guy when she was growing up. We went out to dinner with friends while I was immersed in Growing Up Haunted and they asked what I was reading. When I told them it was about a transsexual who grew up in a haunted house they actually laughed at me. And then I realiz...more
I enjoyed this book almost as much as the previous She's Not There; both are strong, well written memoirs full of the laughter and heartbreak that run through many family stories. But there is nothing trite about this family tale, for while the presence of ghosts is nothing new, the author's struggle with gender identity and then acceptance of transexuality is not a familiar challenge for most readers. Jennifer Finney Boylan shares her story with honesty and humor and I was glad to follow her ...more
The author wrote this essay for the 10/31/2007 NY Times and it made me want to read the book.
I picked this up at a sale having flipped through it but not really knowing anything about the author. Once I started reading, I had vague recollections of seeing her on Oprah, but I didn't let that deter me. I found the book to be surprisingly funny. I love the tone and the fact that Boylan does not take herself too seriously, but she doesn't take that to an affected, snarky extreme the way so many writers seem to. I enjoyed the fact that it was a fairly light read that was still very well writ...more
I'm not sure how she convinced someone to buy the idea for the book. "Ok, so, since the first memoir in which I discuss being transgendered was a hit, I will tell the same story but also talk about how my house was haunted and I can see ghosts." The thing is, the ghost parts sound made up. Especially because in a book about how she's seen these spirits her whole life, she hangs out with a ghosthunter and is all eye-rolly and skeptical of the fact that there are ghosts. Wait, whaaaaat? ...more
A non-flashy memoir of someone who at once has a very extraordinary but also a kind of normal life. I say four stars for the quality of the writing; it's not like there's a ton of suspense but the jumping around in time provided just enough to make it hard for me to put it down. It inevitably treads on some of the territory of "She's not There" but mostly complements that memoir of how she became a while amazingly keeping the same life, more or less. The ghost stories seem realisti...more
I'm almost done with this ( thanks to a snow day). It was very well written, and also hilarious for sure.
"The anemone of my anemone is my friend.". And that's just one example.
I don't pretend to understand what people who are transgendered feel. At all. But I do wonder what all the big surgery, and all that is involved, is good for, in the end. Just to look different? Again, I admit I don't completely understand.
That being said, I can relate to a lot of...more
"The anemone of my anemone is my friend.". And that's just one example.
I don't pretend to understand what people who are transgendered feel. At all. But I do wonder what all the big surgery, and all that is involved, is good for, in the end. Just to look different? Again, I admit I don't completely understand.
That being said, I can relate to a lot of...more
What haunted this author? What continues to haunt her? Apparently she grew up in a haunted house, but as a boy. Now, after being transgendered, she has written a wonderful reminiscence of her experiences in this ghostly home, as well as her own self haunting. Was she haunted by what she was not? Is she haunted by what she used to be? Is there longing for what might have been, or is there not? She certainly seems to experience some eerie visions in old buildings. I loved Boylan's writing ...more
I ended up enjoying this memoir more than the previous one by JFB, She's Not There: A Life in Two Genders. Many have commented that this one, while beautifully framed and written, is more uneven. She's Not There seems so tidy, with all the loose ends tied up neatly, and I found it almost dispassionate and detached, even while the title hints at the ongoing inner conflict. This version is a lot bumpier and I felt more of the author's unresolved feelings.
Several things may account...more
Several things may account...more
I really loved this book, largely in part because Jenny reminds me a lot of my MtF partner in personality, but it's also a great story about the fear of imposing on those you love with who you really are, and some of the costs and delights of finally asking to be seen. I love the supernatural as a metaphor.
The familiar narrative of suffering by denying the queer self, and then using that suffering as the basis of legitimacy for finally existing as queer, is an important but hopefully...more
The familiar narrative of suffering by denying the queer self, and then using that suffering as the basis of legitimacy for finally existing as queer, is an important but hopefully...more
Another memoir from the author of She’s Not There, this is a book about all types of hauntings. The first half of this book is beautiful. It’s Ms. Boylan at her best, and when she’s at her best, there are few people with a better command of the English language. Halfway through the book, though, everything changes. While the first half is a delicate coming-of-age story that weaves between past and present and emotions of every stripe, the second half is rushed, with odds jumps between time perio...more
What an incredible book – you will not want to miss this one! Full of love and compassion as well as honest thoughts and humorous antics that relate to everyone, you will be taken on an adventure of soul proportions. One that could actually change the way you live your life and most definitely the way you think about or treat others.
Something drew me to this book and I'm blessed that I followed my heart. There were so many details here that I could relate to...many things to ponde...more
Something drew me to this book and I'm blessed that I followed my heart. There were so many details here that I could relate to...many things to ponde...more
This is an autobiographical story about this transgendered kid growing up in a haunted house. I loved the idea of it because I like to think about how the monstrous and the supernatural are kind of projections of ourselves and our fluid and sometimes unstable self-images, but the writing style didn't grab me at all- it was very matter-of-fact, and the lessons learned lacked a certain subtlety. While I always respect people for the act of telling their stories, this one won't be one of my faves...more
I read this in one day, and found it to be compelling, funny, and poignant at times. I'm a fan of Boylan and had read her earlier book, SHE'S NOT THERE, so I was happy to spend some more time with her and see how her life is going. In this memoir, she introduces and in many times confronts the "ghosts" that have haunted her - both the paranormal kind and the ghosts of people she herself has loved and lost over the course of her life. She's a great storyteller.
Less about the supernatural than the tangible ghosts of everyday life — estranged family members, haunting memories of childhood, etc. — this memoir is an honest and sincere look at the confusion and secrecy that comes with the suspicion that your outer image may not match your inner self.
A striking mixture of humor and tenderness, this book carries a deeply human message that will get you thinking while making you laugh at the same time.
-Amanda
A striking mixture of humor and tenderness, this book carries a deeply human message that will get you thinking while making you laugh at the same time.
-Amanda
My mother-in-law turned me on to Jennifer Finney Boylan. She read "I'm Looking Through You" first, while I started with "She's Not There". I don't know what my impression would have been had I read the books in chronological order, but in light of what I already knew about the writer's life, I could not help but see this book, in part, as a love letter to her sister. Again, that may well be my own perspective, but it is one of the beautiful and bittersweet threads that weaves...more
This was a truly touching, yet hilarious, memoir - a genre I imagine must be difficult to write with true panache while conveying facts and reality. Glimpses into Jennifer's childhood, her struggles with relationships and identity are compounded by encounters with "ghosts," both real and imagined. It's quite an unusual little book - well-written and memorable indeed.
I loved the author's sense of humor...Boylan is a transgendered person who grew up as a male (although this relatively incidental to this book). Boylan's memoir of growing up in a haunted house is funny, thoughtful, and worth a re read.
I liked Boylan's writing enough to pick up and read her struggle with identity called "She's Not There: A Life in Two Genders."
I liked Boylan's writing enough to pick up and read her struggle with identity called "She's Not There: A Life in Two Genders."
I wasn't expecting to really like this book since I haven't read a lot of well-written memoirs, but Jenny comes off as so witty and down to earth it was refreshing. Given the challenges Jenny faced growing up, and I in no way mean to minimize them, I found myself thinking does this person realize how lucky she is? What great family and friends. But every time I was asking myself those questions, Jenny addressed them, by one of her friends telling her something similar. It was also nice to see th...more
"Maybe I might yet be saved by the transformative powers of blarney." I'm not sure what I expected from a memoir written by a transsexual about growing up in a haunted house, but what I got was a touching, funny, pleasurable book. I don't quite "believe" all of it, either the haunts or the poetic symmetry of events and conversations, but I don't think I'm required to. I think the book is true to the emotional core of events as Boylan experienced them, and it's beautifully wri...more
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Jennifer Finney Boylan is a widely praised author and professor.
Edward Albee summed up her oeuvre in 1988: -- "Boylan observes carefully, and with love. [Her] levitating wit is wisely tethered to a humane concern…. I often broke into laughter, and was now and again, struck with wonder."
Jenny's memoir, She's Not There, published by Broadway Books in 2003, was one o...more
More about Jennifer Finney Boylan...
Edward Albee summed up her oeuvre in 1988: -- "Boylan observes carefully, and with love. [Her] levitating wit is wisely tethered to a humane concern…. I often broke into laughter, and was now and again, struck with wonder."
Jenny's memoir, She's Not There, published by Broadway Books in 2003, was one o...more
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