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Up from the Blue

by Susan Henderson (Goodreads Author)

3.77 of 5 stars 3.77 · rating details · 1,174 ratings · 291 reviews

Tillie Harris's life is in disarray--her husband is away on business, the boxes in her new home aren't unpacked, and the telephone isn't even connected yet. Though she's not due for another month, sudden labor pains force Tillie to reach out to her estranged father for help, a choice that means facing the painful memories she's been running from since she was a little girl...more

Paperback, 336 pages

Published September 21st 2010 by Harper Paperbacks (first published January 1st 2010)

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Sep 27, 2010 Cynthia rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: books-read-in-2010

In a literary era when plot is often been abandoned Henderson really delivers some startling surprises in her first novel. It’s well written and engaging especially the main character Tillie. Just when you think you know exactly what is happening you’ll turn a corner and wonder what’s real. The book is set mostly in the 70’s as Tillie and her brother Phil, both pre-teens; grow up with their rigid, military dad and their dreamy, literary mom. There are a lot of social changes in the air such as s...more

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Jun 07, 2011 Jan rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: family-drama, own-copy

As much as I wanted to slow down and enjoy this book, I devoured it and will remember the characters therein for quite sometime as they're memorable, charming, flawed and quite real. You're able to see them and their flaws from so many different angles it's no wonder memories and actions differ from one character to the other. A book to be pondered upon. I originally gave this book four stars and changed it to five as it's been more than a week and I find myself still thinking about various aspe...more

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Nov 16, 2011 Jessica rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: bipolar, families, military, pregnancy, depression

Tillie is a bright, young, free spirit who loves her mother more than anything. She sees her mother's mood swings as exciting and admires the way she can see beauty in ordinary things. Through Tillie's description we learn that her mother has some sort of mental illness which seems to rapidly get worse as the book goes on. Understandably, Tillie has to face some tough circumstances and her whole world is engulfed in the sickness that has plagued her mother. [return][return]Tillie's brother is a...more

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Jul 24, 2012 Sara rated it 5 of 5 stars

If you are a parent, a child with a parent suffering from depression, or a parent going through depression yourself, this is a MUST READ. I was immediately gripped during the beginning chapters where Tillie begins labor. Because I've been there, I could instantly connect with her, but anyone who hasn't given birth would feel the frantic feelings described in the beginning.

And then it takes you back to Tillie's childhood. You get to see the inner workings of a troubled military family. Phil, the...more If you are a parent, a child with a parent suffering from depression, or a parent going through depression yourself, this is a MUST READ. I was immediately gripped during the beginning chapters where Tillie begins labor. Because I've been there, I could instantly connect with her, but anyone who hasn't given birth would feel the frantic feelings described in the beginning.

And then it takes you back to Tillie's childhood. You get to see the inner workings of a troubled military family. Phil, the older son who does no wrong because he wants to be the best soldier he can be. Colonel Harris- a high ranking military official who runs a strict household. Mara, the mother, who is so obviously depressed and on the brink of implosion, incapable of mothering the two children and the subject of whispers amongst the perfect military wives/mothers. And then Tillie- an unruly yet lovable, eight year old girl. Tillie adores her mother, she can see the good in her unlike everyone else and defends her mom. She senses she's likely a disappointment to her father and her brother can't be bothered with her. Yet she feels like her mother is hers alone and you can really relate to her feelings for her mom. Because as children- we've all been there. No matter what a mothers (or fathers) faults are it doesn't matter because you are in love with them. They are perfect to you if to nobody else.

The greatness of this story as that even though it's a novel you feel like it's real. You are hoping that the mother can just pull herself together and be the mom she wanted to be. You are hoping that the father could just see that there is something medically wrong with her and that it isn't her fault, she truly isn't capable of pulling it together on her own. And then you feel this immense sadness for the children who don't understand and you just want to assure them that no matter what- their parents love them.

Now, you know I always try to read a story and bring some of my own life experience to it and this one was no different. For years, since Olivia was born, I have struggled with depression. I have felt so awful that I thought I'd be better off dying, and I thought everyone else would be better without me. I've been so happy that I look at those times and wonder what the hell was I thinking. But most days? I'm not in the middle. I'm sad a lot and sometimes when driving alone I wonder what it would be like to just keep driving and never come back. To just start up new somewhere..anywhere..because I can't bear the feeling that I am a terrible mother, a terrible wife, a terrible friend, a terrible daughter, etc. I may not be any of these things but a lot of days I feel this way. And while I can take all the medication I want I know that's the only thing keeping me from dangling too far down. So I could sympathize with Mara through the whole book. She wants to be everything to everyone, she wants to be a good wife and mother but she just isn't able. But she loves her children anyways. And every attempt she makes to do better it was always for them. So no lie, I cried when reading this and found myself nodding and saying, "Yes-- that's really how it is!" There is a part in the book where Mara tells Tillie, "I'm trying. I'm trying for you, ok?" and that? Just made me so sad because I remember saying this to Olivia when she was just a week old. I was alone at home with her, and she never stopped crying. I would rock, crying myself, and tell her I was trying, just for her.

I highly recommend this book. The end for Mara? Made me so sad and I felt awful for everyone. But the end of the book for Tillie? Gave me hope. Because she was a mom and it made me think that maybe, even though it was all awful, it really had a happy ending.(less)

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Sep 08, 2011 Jeremy rated it 5 of 5 stars

This is a marvelous coming of age story, which surprises and moves. Tillie, the main character, we come to know mostly as a troubled young girl, in a deeply stressed family. Her mother, a mentally disturbed, depressed, and emotionally flammable hippy type, is in a disastrous marriage to an American military prodigy, whose career is heading for the top of the Pentagon. We see all this from the perspective of an elementary school girl, and Henderson writes with great clarity and credibility in tha...more

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May 09, 2011 Maureen Crombie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Tillie Harris’s life is in disarray – her husband is away on business, boxes in her new home need opening and sorting, the telephone isn’t connected and sudden labour pains send her to hospital a month before the baby is due. She reaches out to her estranged father to help, a choice the means facing the painful memories that she’s been running from since a little girl.

This is Susan Henderson’s first novel. It is very well written, engaging, and hard to put down. Just when you may think you know...more

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Mar 05, 2011 Chuck Erion rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: american-novels

Up From the Blue is a first novel by Susan Henderson, a New York writer with a couple of Pushcart Prize nominations to her credit. It came out last September (HarperCollins $15.99) but I only discovered it last week, thanks to a review in Shelf Awareness, my favorite e-newsletter about the book trade. The fact that I read it in just two days has more to do with how good a book it is, than my deadline for this column. The ending brought me to tears, and an urge to call up the author to find out i...more Up From the Blue is a first novel by Susan Henderson, a New York writer with a couple of Pushcart Prize nominations to her credit. It came out last September (HarperCollins $15.99) but I only discovered it last week, thanks to a review in Shelf Awareness, my favorite e-newsletter about the book trade. The fact that I read it in just two days has more to do with how good a book it is, than my deadline for this column. The ending brought me to tears, and an urge to call up the author to find out if this novel was indeed her story. But I get ahead of myself.
Tillie Harris is eight years old and her mother is becoming unglued. Her family lives on an Air Force base in Albuquerque but her dad’s work on missile guidance systems means that they will move soon to Washington, DC. It is 1975. (Actually the novel opens with Tillie rushing to the hospital with premature labor symptoms. Her husband is in Paris and her estranged father is the only relative she can call. But it is her childhood memories that take over the narrative.) Momma is a misfit among the military wives: she paints her front door purple and ignores the social protocols of military life. She has stopped making meals or doing the wash. Mostly she sleeps on the couch, barely rousing herself to tuck in to bed Tillie and her older brother Phil.
When moving day comes, Tillie is left behind for two weeks with her father’s prissy secretary. And when she finally gets to fly to Washington her mother is nowhere to be found. To Tillie’s frantic pleas, her father will only say that Momma needs time to rest away from them. School starts and of course Tillie is an outsider. Her poetry gains the respect of her teacher but no one will play with her.
This book reminded me of The Glass Castle, Jeanette Wall’s bestselling memoir of a childhood emotionally impoverished by an uncaring mother. Jane Urquhart’s novel The Stone Carvers also contains a scene of a child who was chained to a clothesline, a scene that some reviewers found far-fetched. I remember that when she read from it for OBOC in Cambridge, an elderly woman defended the veracity of the passage. She too had been chained in her room every day.
Up From the Blue is a testimony to a child’s will to survive; and a plea for recognition of the family trauma around mental illness. I read it with tension in my chest – will Tillie, and her mother, survive?
In that Shelf Awareness review, the author spoke of the response to her book. If there's a defining characteristic for Tillie, the narrator, it "is that she's wonderfully obstinate," Henderson observes. "She has an oomph--that thing that also makes her a handful--but I think it gives her courage, and she's determined to find humor and love and hope wherever she can. I wanted to use those strengths as I pulled that knot loose so that she wasn't stuck in time, and so she had a full range of choices for her future--not sugar-coated, but still hopeful." At bookstore events, when Susan reads a passage about Tillie's habit of biting classmates, she often notices a particular expression on the face of someone who "knows what it's like to walk home from school as the one who's seen as the problem. And they know what it's like to enter a house full of secrets and try to make sense of it without ever breathing a word."
In the throes of delivering her first child, Tillie speaks across the years to her mother: “It wasn’t perfect, but I never needed perfect.” I hope that Up From the Blue reaches as wide an audience (including book clubs) as The Glass Castle and The Stone Carvers.
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Feb 07, 2011 Tricia Dower rated it 4 of 5 stars

I read this book in one day while traveling from British Columbia to Minnesota. (Hours in airports and on the plane!) I found it beautifully written and compelling. All of the characters are unique, finely drawn and sympathetic. Because 8-year-old Tillie is the narrator for most of it, the story is about her longing, confusion and attempts to nurture herself. I related to this story so much having had a depressed mother and a busy father. I did find the revelation about Tillie's mother after the...more

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Feb 06, 2011 Michele Harrod rated it 5 of 5 stars

This is an exquisitely presented study of a very broken family, who are quite literally hiding their secrets behind closed doors. It is about children who are old enough to carry the shame, but who require the sanctity of their parents love regardless. It is about the slow breakdown of a woman, a marriage, and a family. This is beautifully written, and brilliantly constructed. Told from the perspective of Tilly, the seven year old daughter, Up From the Blue surprises thoughout - by showing sides...more

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Jan 09, 2011 Shinelle rated it 4 of 5 stars

Henderson takes the familiar bones of so many stories: emotionally distant father, army brat struggles, dysfunctional family life, and covers them with new, clean flesh. Her writing style is deceptively simple, so that even when she is telling instead of showing, she is still showing you something. This is not a civil issues novel, yet she weaves in truths about desegregation without ever getting didactic or preachy. Though this is, in some ways, a feminist novel, males are not really the enemy...more

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Jan 01, 2011 Literary Feline rated it 3 of 5 stars

I recently caught a rerun of an old Law and Order: Special Victim's Unit episode in which one of the lead detectives must reach out to his estranged mother when his daughter's mental illness comes to light because of legal issues. His mother also suffered from mental illness, only it was never talked about in that way. His mother was odd, sometimes manic and then falling into deep depressions.

I couldn't help but draw parallels between that episode and Susan Henderson's novel, Up From the Blue. W...more I recently caught a rerun of an old Law and Order: Special Victim's Unit episode in which one of the lead detectives must reach out to his estranged mother when his daughter's mental illness comes to light because of legal issues. His mother also suffered from mental illness, only it was never talked about in that way. His mother was odd, sometimes manic and then falling into deep depressions.

I couldn't help but draw parallels between that episode and Susan Henderson's novel, Up From the Blue. What it must have been like for a child growing up in a home with a mother suffering from a mental illness, especially at a time when such things were kept secret and not talked about outside of the home. In the TV show, it was the detective who was orderly and regimented, even strict--a result of his upbringing and his hope to instill order into his own family life. In Henderson's novel, the father, an officer in the military takes on that same role. I imagine the time periods of when the detective and Tillie were children were similar.

At the start of the novel, Tillie, recognizing the signs of labor, is forced to reach out to her estranged father for help. Her husband is out of the country on business; she is unpacking after having just moved to a town; and she knows no one else. Her father comes to her aid, but at a price. With him comes all the memories Tillie would love to forget, and she is forced to confront the past and deal with her feelings in regards to her father. The novel takes place mostly in the past, when Tillie was 8 years old, with only a few interruptions from the present (1991) to remind us where we started.

The author uses subtle markers to remind the reader of the time period Tillie grew up in throughout the novel, including racial tensions and the political climate. This proved an effective way of setting the environment for which Tillie tells her story.

I admit that as I started reading, my feeling about the book tended toward how typical it was. Another novel about family dysfunction. A steady diet of such novels can be overwhelming (one of the reasons I like to mix up my reading so much--variety keeps me from growing tired of a topic or genre). As I continued to read, I remained skeptical, but somewhere in there, I lost that skepticism and the book really took off for me. By the end, tears streaming down my face, I was hooked. It turned out to be a little different than I expected.

I liked young Tillie from the beginning. She's a free spirit if ever there was one. As a Marine Corps brat, I know what life can be like in the home of a military person. In Tillie's case, appearances were everything given her father's important position and high rank. Her father was very strict and demanded order. Tillie rebelled against that. Instead of writing a science paper, she'd write poems. Tillie's older brother was much more apt to please and to do as he was told. I appreciated the way the author did not make this story just about Tillie, despite it being told from her viewpoint. Although Tillie was not completely aware of the impact events in their life were having on everyone else, it is clear to the reader. It was easy to understand Tillie's confusion and upset with her father once the entire story came out. At the same time, it was impossible not to also see his side of it, even if I don't agree with all of the choices he made or the reasons he made them.

At first I wished for a bit more resolution in the end. While certain aspects of the story were wrapped up satisfactorily, one particular piece left me wanting. That is until I really had a chance to think about it. Now I don't think any other ending would have fit--not realistically.

As inundated as you may be with books about family dysfunction, Up From the Blue is definitely worth a look.
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Nov 21, 2010 Shannon rated it 4 of 5 stars

Recommended to Shannon by: Jason

Up from the Blue is a great mix of a book - easy to read, but packed with characters you won't soon forget, a story that will surprise you and scenes that will alternately break your heart and encourage you. The novel's uniquely voiced Tillie is a young girl from a family that is odd, to say the least. Her Air Force colonel father and free spirit mother are a volatile combination, especially when Tillie's mother crosses the line from quirky to mentally ill.

There's a lot to like about Tillie. She...more Up from the Blue is a great mix of a book - easy to read, but packed with characters you won't soon forget, a story that will surprise you and scenes that will alternately break your heart and encourage you. The novel's uniquely voiced Tillie is a young girl from a family that is odd, to say the least. Her Air Force colonel father and free spirit mother are a volatile combination, especially when Tillie's mother crosses the line from quirky to mentally ill.

There's a lot to like about Tillie. She is a girl who has hope in her heart, no matter the circumstances life throws her way. And she is a girl who loves and longs for her mother, no matter how imperfect and flawed that mother is. If you've ever wondered how much a girl needs her mother, read this book. If you're a mother yourself, you may, like me end the book feeling both affirmed that you're not as poor a mother as Tillie's mom and challenged to do your best to mother your daughters in a way that meets their needs.

Up from the Blue was a quick read, but left me with lots to think about. How do secrets serve to enable a family to heal on their own versus make a situation even worse by not bringing it into the light? Is it acceptable for one family member's ambition to override the needs of other family members? Does doing the best you can make up for the wounds inevitably left by your failures?

Should you read Up from the Blue? If you like books with characters who stay with you long after you turn the last page, the answer is a resounding yes. If you like to ponder how the structure and unwritten rules of parenting in the 70s has impacted the way we live and parent today, this book will give you food for thought. If your mind shies away from the hard things in life - from family members who fail each other, from friendships gone awry, from people who hurt in ways you can't fix - this is not the book for you. Up from the Blue does not end without hope. But there's a lot of heartache and heartbreak between the covers. In my opinion, this simply makes it a book worth reading. I hope you'll agree.(less)

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Oct 12, 2010 Debbie rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: highlyrecommend

Set in the 70s, during the era of bussing and all that entailed, UP FROM THE BLUE tells the story of family dysfunction stemming from a mother afflicted with severe manic depression. We start with the girl now grown up and about to have her own child, then we travel back in time to her as a child struggling to understand what is wrong with her mother. The story moves at a fast pace, with well timed twists and turns. Compelling but not disingenuous. It is real and raw.

To me, this is a story abou...more Set in the 70s, during the era of bussing and all that entailed, UP FROM THE BLUE tells the story of family dysfunction stemming from a mother afflicted with severe manic depression. We start with the girl now grown up and about to have her own child, then we travel back in time to her as a child struggling to understand what is wrong with her mother. The story moves at a fast pace, with well timed twists and turns. Compelling but not disingenuous. It is real and raw.

To me, this is a story about fear, it’s path to prejudice, and how the transcendent power of love conquers it. The character with the courage to love unconditionally is Tillie, a very flawed 8 year old with a huge engine of inner rage rumbling inside her. Tillie’s mother is an embarrassment. She is sick, bizarrely different, and a potential threat to her husband who has a very political Pentagon job. Tillie is well aware of her mother’s issues, so much so, she keeps to herself, debates whether or not to invite friends over. But despite this awareness, Tillie allows herself to fall in love with her mother, because she allows herself to go beyond the sickness and see a unique take her mother brings to life. Tillie’s love is powerful and frustrating. It is the heartbeat of the novel. But it is not enough, because it cannot conquer everyone else’s fear which prevents the mother from seeking help.

The writer brilliantly chooses to tell this story against the backdrop of bussing, subtly comparing racial prejudice to prejudice towards the mentally ill. Stigmatism--which comes of course from the fear of the unknown-- has the same effect on the person of color stepping into a white school in the 70s, as it does on the mentally ill woman forced to live in a military world, where structure and conformity are demanded. As Bus 14 brings in the African Americans, everyone stands back and gawks, as if monsters from another planet have arrived. They are there, but they are not there, reminding us of Tillie’s mother--she is there, but she is not there. One African American girl is so frightened of being the only girl of color in her class, she is allowed time to herself in an office. Again reminding us of Tillie’s mother, so frightened of the world of sameness, she hides from everyone. And Tillie’s reach beyond the fear and prejudice to connect with the girl at school again reminds us of Tillie reach beyond fear and prejudice to see all the good in her mother.

This is a tragic story but it is not depressing, because it has grace and hope. If it were simply another book about family dysfunction, it wouldn’t have staying power. But it does have staying power because of what the story says beyond the words.

About her relationship with her mother, Tillie says once “It wasn’t perfect, but I never needed perfect.”

And that is just perfect.

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Sep 03, 2010 Susan rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: my-absolute-favs, amazon-vine-book

Don't read too many detailed reviews of this book until you have read the book. You don't want anything to spoil it for you.

Reading this book was like devouring a wonderfully rich dessert. I wanted to slowly savor every bite, rolling it around on my tongue, but I could not slow down, I had to rush forward until the whole thing was consumed. The prose is flawless and rich; the characters true to life, and I could picture the house and the family perfectly.

As Henderson described the life inside t...more

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Sep 15, 2010 Kelly Hager rated it 4 of 5 stars

There are two parts to this story–the first is about a woman who’s about to have her first child. Her husband’s out of town and they’ve just moved into a new house (so recently that they haven’t unpacked). It’s not a good time to be alone. It’s near where she grew up, though, so she calls her dad for help–her dad, who she hasn’t talked to in years.

The second part (the bigger part) is about Tillie’s childhood. Her dad works hard and her mom is probably bipolar (although not diagnosed). Some days,...more

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Nov 30, 2010 Erin rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: literary

I heard about this on the Early Word blog (http://www.earlyword.com/) (although I need to stop reading that if I want to get through my TBR list...it just makes it grow and grow and grow...) and was intrigued. But all the great reviews still didn't prepare me for the incredible writing from Henderson, especially from a debut novel.

The book opens up with Tillie Harris going into labor in a new house, new city, and an out of town husband. Having no one else to turn to, she contacts her estranged a...more I heard about this on the Early Word blog (http://www.earlyword.com/) (although I need to stop reading that if I want to get through my TBR list...it just makes it grow and grow and grow...) and was intrigued. But all the great reviews still didn't prepare me for the incredible writing from Henderson, especially from a debut novel.

The book opens up with Tillie Harris going into labor in a new house, new city, and an out of town husband. Having no one else to turn to, she contacts her estranged and emotionally distant Army retiree father. Her conflicting feelings about her father (and her stress over the too-early-to-be-happening labor) find the story flashing back to when she was 11 years old, living with her father, brother, and severely depressed mother. Tillie's descriptions of living with a woman so unable to cope with daily life while her strict father tries to keep tight control of the situation are absolutely riveting and Tillie as a character just jumps off the page. She loves her mother, but feels completely abandoned by her and doesn't know why she's not enough to make her better. Telling the story from her POV adds suspense as we know Tillie doesn't understand everything her mother is going through or the extent of her depression, and yet her father will tell her absolutely nothing about what's going on with the family. The reader knows something's not quite right, but cannot figure it out until it's crystal clear to Tillie at the end of the book.

A few small complaints (I thought the passages with adult Tillie could've been fleshed out a little more and my biggest question was how could super strict army dad and artsy bi-polar mom have ever ended up together in the first place) that I think Henderson will iron out with future novels, and also a random pet peeve: why do authors title chapters? The titles are usually lame, and don't add much to the story. Just let the story ebb and flow as each section begins a new chapter, and don't give it a title like "The Grocery Store"--it's just silly. Do not be afraid of the title-less chapter, Henderson! I don't know why that is pet peeve of mine, it just is.

Overall, a harrowing, wrenching, but beautifully written and amazingly self-assured debut.

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Oct 28, 2010 Jill rated it 3 of 5 stars

Tillie – the eight-year-old protagonist of Susan Henderson’s debut book – is a sheer delight. She’s sassy and unaffected, disobedient and fun-loving, lonely and imaginative. And she’s also the daughter of a demanding and organized military man, and his emotionally fragile wife, Mara.

At the book’s beginning, her father is getting ready to move the family to Washington D.C. to assume a top Pentagon position. Tillie is left with her father’s no-nonsense assistant and is to be sent for a week or so...more

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Aug 09, 2011 Elizabeth rated it 2 of 5 stars

I found this a muddle in every way. The author states it takes place in Montgomery County, MD (where I live and grew up) and tries to depict segregation, busing and children from the "bad side" of MoCo to the area where the main character lives, occuring in 1976-77. No historical grounds for believing that children were bussed from some "slum" in Moco (??) to Potomac. Sorry. Can't get passed that. Perhaps she should pick up George Pelecanos and get a taste of how an author really understands res...more

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Oct 18, 2010 Jennifer rated it 5 of 5 stars

Up From the Blue is Susan Henderson's debut novel - and it's fantastic!

You know where I read so I'm only on Page 22 of this book. And really, it's a little scary how much I like this book so far. Scary is the wrong word. I'm excited to read the rest; and I'm excited and uncomfortable with how much I feel like I relate to certain aspects of this book (and hello? only on Page 22).

So far, I've met the main character Tillie, in a new apartment and having cramps at only 34 weeks pregnant. She's "new"...more Up From the Blue is Susan Henderson's debut novel - and it's fantastic!

You know where I read so I'm only on Page 22 of this book. And really, it's a little scary how much I like this book so far. Scary is the wrong word. I'm excited to read the rest; and I'm excited and uncomfortable with how much I feel like I relate to certain aspects of this book (and hello? only on Page 22).

So far, I've met the main character Tillie, in a new apartment and having cramps at only 34 weeks pregnant. She's "new" in town and doesn't know where to go so calls her father, who apparently she hasn't seen in quite a long time - he didn't even know that she was married! I met her father when he joined her (uninvited) at the hospital.

In the second chapter, Tillie (given name Mathilda) is 8 yrs old and it's 1975. She lives on base with her brother Phil and her mom and dad, who is a weapons engineer. She's been sent home from school with a note insisting she stay home the next day because she's a biter and has once again bitten a classmate.

Her mother is having some serious mental problems. She lies in bed all day and through Tillie's narration, I've learned that some days her mother is good and happy and singing. Then something (even an airplane flying overhead) triggers her mother's mood swing and she's in bed:

"That day, she closed her eyes and squeezed the handle on the pan. "I can't do this anymore," she said. "I can't. I just can't." And she left the grease-spattered room, left the chicken soaking in oil and soup."

The neighbors are suspicious when one nosy mom drops by and Tillie only looks at her through the front door and mimics the woman's doorbell ringing. (She cannot open the front door because in an attempt to make their base housing stand apart, Tillie's mother painted the front door turquoise blue - and painted it shut!) By the time her brother Phil returns from school, half the women on the street are standing outside waiting to talk to Tillie's mother. Phil and Tillie have been told that their father will "handle" all questions about their mother so they say nothing. When their father arrives home from a business trip that afternoon, he shoos the neighbors away, directs the kids inside and once inside rants about the condition of the place, the lack of food, that Tillie was home all day with nothing to eat. He then takes them to the commissary and buys dinner and cleaning supplies.

I've never really been one to look for the hidden meaning in books. I read them to nose around in someone else's life, to escape. But at one point, nearing the end and when I'm very close to panic - thinking that the author is going to leave out a lot of important information - 8-yr-old Tillie's father, frustrated, sweeps a nearly-completed puzzle off the table and into the box. Tillie says:

"....we were almost able to see the whole picture!"

And I think that's exactly how I felt about the book. At this point, page 285, almost able to see the entire picture, but not quite. There are a couple pieces missing and I hoped to find them in the last few pages.

Susan Henderson doesn't disappoint me, no matter how few pages were left. I don't want to tell anymore of the specifics of the book because I don't want to spoil it for anyone but I'm so very glad I was exposed to this book. It's a very powerful story about the struggles families go through and the decisions we have to make in order to keep it together. It touches the bond between mother and daughter, father and daughter and brother and sister. Tillie is an amazing little girl, and she's written beautifully. More than once I wanted to reach out to her. I'll be handing this book to my mother to read next and give it high recommendations. (less)

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Jan 06, 2011 Robin rated it 4 of 5 stars

Very very good book! I loved it! I like how at times I doubted what the narrator, Tillie, was describing was actually true...if that makes sense...which it probably doesn't if you haven't read it. And if you haven't read it you should definitely read it, and then perhaps you'll understand what I mean.

The book was mostly described in flashbacks...long flashbacks...we were in the "present" which was 1991 for very little time in comparison to the amount of time spent in the past. But that was ok, b...more

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Dec 07, 2010 Proud Book Nerd rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: arc, crazy-tours, do-not-have

This is a difficult book for me to review. It's not that it was bad. It was actually very well-written, and it held my interest. But, it's a very difficult subject. It's like when you're driving and you notice emergency vehicles. You know there's a bad wreck that you don't want to see, but you just can't stop looking. This book you just know as you read more and more that you don't really want to read the depressing narrative from Tillie's childhood. But, you've invested time into this book, and...more

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Oct 21, 2010 Valerie rated it 5 of 5 stars

A wrenching tale of survival...

Tillie Harris seems like any other expectant mother who's just moved into a new home. But Tillie unexpectedly goes into premature labor, and it compels her to reach out to her estranged father - with unexpected results.

Tillie now faces her past, in the form of painful memories - her seemingly distant father, her unstable mother, and her own questions about what really happened in 1975, the year her mother disappeared. Through glimpses into her childhood memories, t...more

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Oct 07, 2010 Zoë (In The Next Room) rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: review-copy

"There was a sense of danger in knowing too much at once. Sometimes the edges of conversations are like the dim edges of the streetlamp’s light. You know better than to wander past its glow and into the endless dark where you could find anything at all."

In 1975, eight year old Tillie Harris's life changes forever when her mother, long suffering from a mix of anxiety and depression just disappears. Up From The Blue is the debut novel by Susan Henderson begins in the present tense, when an older...more "There was a sense of danger in knowing too much at once. Sometimes the edges of conversations are like the dim edges of the streetlamp’s light. You know better than to wander past its glow and into the endless dark where you could find anything at all."

In 1975, eight year old Tillie Harris's life changes forever when her mother, long suffering from a mix of anxiety and depression just disappears. Up From The Blue is the debut novel by Susan Henderson begins in the present tense, when an older Tillie goes into early labour and is forced to reach out to her estranged father for help, bringing memories long forgotten and buried back to the surface. The details of Tillie's childhood experiences are best left to be discovered by the reader, but suffice it to say the perfect suburban exterior of her house hides secrets much to heavy to be carried by a little girl and as a result Tillie half-fears, half-embraces her mother's madness and legacy. Tillie feels a strong bond with her mother, one which changes the path her life takes and the relationships she has with the rest of her family. Henderson does a remarkable job of capturing the little girl worries and loneliness Tillie feels, as she attempts to save her mother even as her brother and father give up or pretend nothing is wrong.

"Something fluttered in my stomach whenever I said things that weren’t true- pretending it was my birthday, pretending I was okay leaving so soon- but these were good lies to tell. They would make my mother happy. She leaned in and held my shoulders, squeezing so tight my arms hurt where we were touching."

Henderson usually gets the child mindset eerily accurate, but the times she doesn't it feels painfully obvious. At one point Tillie says that "The sky, always true to my box of sixty-four Crayola crayons, had turned from Ocean to Midnight Blue." a line which seems awkwardly out of place and like it is trying to hard to be something a child would say while being totally unconnected from the core of the story. Earlier in the novel when Tillie is talking about one her toys, a "Drowsy Doll" she says "I wasn't careful with my toys, and after too many times left in the rain and too many times of being carried by her string, she stopped talking." Henderson uses the doll as a metaphor for Tillie's damaged mother who she loves anyway, who she would miss even though she was broken, but instead of letting subtlety speak for itself she actually tells the reader "Now something was breaking inside my mother that I wasn't sure could be fixed again." Later she forcefully reuses the imagery, when discussing the relationship between Tillie's father and mother she writes "He was asking too much of her- things I knew she couldn't do- and I thought of my doll again, how, when a piece had broken, he threw her to the curb."

Perhaps it is because the rest of the book is so well written that when something seems overworked it stands out from the natural flow Henderson has achieved. Henderson has written a book that is both intelligent and mostly told from a child's perspective, but there is the occasional line or description when seems too forced and it is often in the most unnecessary places- the main themes and events of the Up From the Blue are told with remarkable ease and it almost makes me wonder if these sections were later edited in.

Up From the Blue has been compared to The Glass Castle and in this case I have to agree that both books will appeal to similar readers- like Walls, Henderson captures a neurotic, although fictional, family life and what it is like growing up as a child in such an environment. What I did find was lacking in Up From the Blue that Walls manages however, is the true connection between the childhood and how it made the narrator who she is today. The portion written in the present is so minimal that it mostly seems irrelevant, except that Tillie uses it as an excuse to look back on her past and I don't think the few pages of italic description really justify the connection between past and present Tillie. That said, I definitely think Henderson has a lot of raw talent which just needs a little more time to develop. Up From the Blue is fantastic for a first novel- mostly because it means I am 100% certain to check out whatever Henderson writes next. ***(less)

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Aug 01, 2010 Brenda rated it 4 of 5 stars

Gripping...pissed that I have to go out because I will have to set this book down.

Magnificent young protagonist whose feelings are so incredibly genuine, one would think the child wrote the story. Of course, it is the adult Tillie who begins the narration as she enters into premature labor, frightened and alone and reduced to calling her father whom she wrote out of her life years before. This is a complex story of Tillie's damaged mother who just can't adjust to being a military wife and mother...more

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Jun 18, 2011 Patty rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011, women-writers, fiction, family, fathers-and-daughters, contemporary-fiction, mothers-and-daughters, pregnancy, dysfunctional-family, depression, new-mexico, maryland, sucide

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Sep 14, 2011 Merredith rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 4-or-5-stars

This was a surprise good book. Random pick up from the new fiction shelf at the library. It started out meh, a woman is all alone in her new apartment and goes into labor early, ends up calling her estranged dad to help her to the hospital. (why didn't she call 911?). Then it goes to flashback mode...Tillie as a child, growing up in a military family with a stiff, overbearing dad, a crazy mom, and a brother going through his own stuff. She was such a cute child!!! Always off in her own little wo...more

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Feb 10, 2011 Tonya rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Mmmmmmm.... more like 3.5 stars. I did like this book, more so than other novels I've rated with just 3 stars. Focusing on an adolescent girl's relationship with a mentally ill mother, it was reminiscent of Jeanette Wall's "Glass Castle." While it was well written and certainly very engaging, I think the format is why I didn't LOVE this book. It begins with the narrator as an adult woman suddenly going into labor with her first child and resorting to reaching out to her estranged father, and the...more

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Apr 14, 2013 Shannon rated it 3 of 5 stars

There was much I enjoyed in UP FROM THE BLUE. The story is an intriguing one, with much potential for mystery (although I guessed nearly every turn) and great character development.

I had thought I would really enjoy the flashbacks to Tillie as a young girl, but I found them to be rather stilted in places, and I couldn't shake this throughout the book. In contrast, there was far too little of the more recent (1991) story of Tillie and the birth of her own child. I found myself forgetting that 95...more

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May 05, 2012 Erica rated it 5 of 5 stars

While this book was very sad, the author did such a spot-on job of detailing the hardships of being a child who's mother suffers from severe, disabling depression. Especially during a time when nobody dealt with this issue and definitely didn't want anyone else to know about it. This was a time when you didn't let other people into your personal life. Tillie was only 8, her brother only 12 so they were completely unable to deal with what was going on. And their father had to uphold an image of p...more

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Mar 29, 2012 Star (The Bibliophilic Book Blog) rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: reviewed

The year Tillie was eight was the year everything changed. Her mom is getting worse, sleeping all day, crying all the time, and refusing to do anything to help herself or her family. Now they move across the country to Washington, DC for her Dad's new job and her mom disappears. Tillie's living in her own world now and doesn't know how to cope with her home life. Switching back from present day to her eighth year, a haunting picture is painted in words.

I did enjoy this emotional and gripping tal...more

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About Susan Henderson

Author of UP FROM THE BLUE (HarperCollins), a 2010 Great Group Reads pick, blogger at LitPark.com, mother of two boys, two dogs, and two cats.

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“Sometimes the easiest thing to do is nothing. You just make do. Keep your mouth closed and hope all the rattling goes away.” — 3 people liked it

“But truth is stubborn.

Our nature, our secret hearts can only hide for so long.” — 2 people liked it

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