Alexis: My True Story of Being Seduced by an Online Predator

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Alexis: My True Story of Being Seduced by an Online Predator

3.6 of 5 stars 3.60 · rating details · 58 ratings · 15 reviews

In six words, an instant message changed Alexis forever. After a rocky junior year of high school, Alexis Singer was lonely, stressed out, and vulnerable--the ideal target for an older man with bad intentions. When a message popped up on her computer screen one night from a message board acquaintance, she could never have known that by responding she was making a choice th...more

Paperback, 163 pages

Published August 2nd 2010 by HCI Teens

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Aug 10, 2011 Sarai rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: young-adult-nonfiction, biographies

Spoilers.

I have mixed feelings about this book. It was not as interesting or scandalous as I thought it might be, judging from the title. There were also lines at the end of chapters that promised all sorts of drama and horror in the chapters to come, but never really delivered on that. And I don't really feel like seduce was the right word to use for the title. Manipulated would be more appropriate here.

I was also concerned about the use of certain psychological terms and their correctness app...more Spoilers.

I have mixed feelings about this book. It was not as interesting or scandalous as I thought it might be, judging from the title. There were also lines at the end of chapters that promised all sorts of drama and horror in the chapters to come, but never really delivered on that. And I don't really feel like seduce was the right word to use for the title. Manipulated would be more appropriate here.

I was also concerned about the use of certain psychological terms and their correctness applied to the people involved. I didn't really get the impression that Phil was a sociopath, though he had some tendencies; the reader has no knowledge of his true personal life other than what the author supposes. We don't know if he felt any guilt, how well he kept promises in his home life, etc. I don't like such a strong word to be thrown around randomly.

And I was disappointed that the family did not press charges. Who knows how many other young girls had already or will fall prey to his behaviors? Not to mention that his wife has a right to know what he's been doing, especially considering they have a baby daughter.

I also did not feel that the author did an adequate job of detailing why she allowed this man to slither into her life. She says she was insecure and needed attention, but there was something lacking in her writing on the matter. More information about her inner world and the insidious way in which he crept in would have been helpful. I understand how something like this can happen, but for someone who cannot understand, they will leave this book feeling like anyone who would allow themselves to be handled this way is stupid. They won't get how easy it is to lie to yourself, to ignore your gut feelings, and to continue on with something you know is not good for you. More elucidation on the author's part would have helped.

However, I think it could be an important book for many teens (or adults) who find themselves heading into the same sort of relationship. I see it appealing more to younger teens than older teens. It's a very important issue; I just wish it had been handled a little differently.

Product Description

In six words, an instant message changed Alexis forever.

After a rocky junior year of high school, Alexis Singer was lonely, stressed out, and vulnerable--the ideal target for an older man with bad intentions. When a message popped up on her computer screen one night from a message board acquaintance, she could never have known that by responding she was making a choice that would change her forever.

By posing as a friend and confidant, the man gave Alexis the attention she desperately craved and weaseled his way into her life in an unimaginable way. Within weeks, Alexis was sucked into an emotionally dependent relationship, engaging in cybersex and sending him explicit photos of herself. Somewhere along the way, she lost who she was and put her dreams for the future, relationships with friends and family, and psychological well-being on the line.

'Not much about that first online conversation we had sticks out in my head except for his surprising interest in me. I probably would have forgotten about it if it weren't for that. I would have dismissed him as just another creep.'(less)

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Dec 09, 2012 Sasha Mizaree (Reviews) rated it 3 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Very mixed feelings about this. I may go back and edit my review because I'm not sure how I feel about this, but while it's fresh in my mind.

Warning, spoilers.

It was not as dramatic as I thought it would be, but I still ended up wanting to finish. It's written in a way that makes you want to. This isn't something I'd normally want to read because usually I like to deal with "heavier" more scandalous stories. The narrator seemed to be quiet a sheltered girl (got drunk for the first time her senio...more Very mixed feelings about this. I may go back and edit my review because I'm not sure how I feel about this, but while it's fresh in my mind.

Warning, spoilers.

It was not as dramatic as I thought it would be, but I still ended up wanting to finish. It's written in a way that makes you want to. This isn't something I'd normally want to read because usually I like to deal with "heavier" more scandalous stories. The narrator seemed to be quiet a sheltered girl (got drunk for the first time her senior year), but I like how supportive her parents became at the end of the book.

There were also some aspects I didn't like which aren't directly related to the story, but more of the overall attitude of the book.

First things first. She never ends up meeting him, and the whole thing happens over the internet. I do understand that internet relationships can become very addicting, I myself have experienced this. Especially when a teen is vulnerable and isolated. However I don't feel she did a good job of explaining why this became such a big thing in her life, and a lot of the time I was left thinking "okay what's the big deal exactly?" but it WAS a big deal, I believe that, however it just wasn't very well conveyed. Or maybe I'm just not as easily shocked as some.

Second, the things that were said to her and how she reacted. Okay I can understand the family was dissapointed at their daughters behavior, but to say that she would lose things in life just because she sent some pictures to a guy over the internet? Maybe things are more liberal in Canada, but I thought that was just a tad much. It left me thinking "So what? everyone does this at some point now days" She also said she could lose friends and family over this in the future, even friends she "could have made". What kind of people would hold back from being friends with you just because you had an internet relationship and sent some pictures to an older man in the past? She felt the need to confess this to her friends and her new boyfriend at the end of the book. Once again, why? ever heard of privacy?

I just couldn't understand it.

Yes it was a traumatic experience, but it isn't exactly everyone else's business. I don't think that simply sending somebody some provocative pictures means she should be exiled in shame. But the attitude of everyone around her, and herself seemed to be that this was some great shame on her life.

Honestly, if THAT is a huge shaming thing, then what does that say for the rest of us?

I'm a sex positive person, so for me this attitude was annoying.
I caught a subtle subtext of sex shame in the last parts of the book when she said that "he spoke to her in a way that most men wouldn't speak to adult prostitutes".

Um no actually, some people do send emails like that to each other because it turns them on. Consenting adults. That in itself ISN'T disrespectful, the disrespectful and wrong part was that you were underage, and it wasn't welcome on your part. Oh and of course, that he was married.

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Jul 16, 2012 Ubalstecha rated it 3 of 5 stars

Alexis Singer was a lonely high school student. Her parents are divorced and she has recently broken up with her boyfriend. So when an older man she had become acquainted with via an Internet message board begins to flirt with her via email, Alexis is flattered and returns the attention. Things develop quickly, with sexting, inappropriate pictures and him exposing himself via webcam.

This is a true story, part of the Louder Than Words series from Health Communications Inc. Each book is the autobi...more

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Sep 17, 2010 Marie rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2010-release, for-review, own, publisher-sent

I feel incredibly awkward rating someone's personal experience.

Alexis takes us on the journey of what it's like to be seduced by an online predator. I had a few mixed feelings about this book... I've been on the internet for years, and maybe it's just me, but I've never given out my real name to someone I don't know. The only time I've given out my name online was on a forum my real life friends were on, but even then, I gave out only my nickname. To me, the funny thing about the internet is, y...more I feel incredibly awkward rating someone's personal experience.

Alexis takes us on the journey of what it's like to be seduced by an online predator. I had a few mixed feelings about this book... I've been on the internet for years, and maybe it's just me, but I've never given out my real name to someone I don't know. The only time I've given out my name online was on a forum my real life friends were on, but even then, I gave out only my nickname. To me, the funny thing about the internet is, you can be whoever you want to be. And when I was younger, I wanted to be someone else. So I always was (to be completely honest right now, Marie isn't my real name, but it is half of my real name so I guess I'm not exactly lying). I wondered through out the book why she would give out her real name or real life information, but I guess (after discussing this with my husband) it's common for people to not really think about it.

The signs that Alexis' predator gave were obvious ones and she even admits that she eventually knew where this would lead, but yet she still came back for more. She still craved his attention, even though he knew her requests were wrong. What he was doing was wrong. And I can't help but think, she could had easily logged off, or easily turned off the laptop. I know that her addiction to him was hard and unexplainable, but somewhere in there you have to realize that he's married and this is wrong. And just let it go. I hate how that statement made me sound like a jerk, I don't want it to sound like I'm saying "oh well it's just that easy" because I can imagine it's not. I was happy with the outcome and that she eventually did release herself from that situation. I was curious to know what happened to the predator after.

Internet experiences are... crazy. I guess I was lucky enough that my first online "relationship" (which was with a guy, across the country) wasn't anything crazy, but we're now Facebook friends and we still do talk a lot from time to time. And another online "relationship" which ended up much more awkward (and I have to admit, I did form an addiction to this guy at several points, but we're around the same age) is that he completely lied about who he was. His name, his race, his age, and what he looked like. It wasn't until 6 years after I knew him (and keep in mind, we kept in touch all those years!) that I tracked down his real MySpace and confronted him about it. Which resulted in him not speaking to me for a few days because he didn't know what to say. But in the end, I'm glad to know who he really is. At least all other events in his life weren't false. At least, I'm hoping they weren't...

I do recommend this book for younger teens, especially in these times where they're spending more time online and on social networking sites (I mean come on, my husband's 5 year old sister's TV shows talk about MySpace and she goes online!) which can be so much more dangerous than forums and chat rooms! I recommend it to parents with teens who spend a lot of time on the internet as well, just to be informed of a real life experience of something that can really happen.(less)

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Feb 01, 2011 Kelsey rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: finished-copies-review

Alexis was my second Louder Than Words book and I'm so glad I decided to pick it up. Although intense and at times frightening, Alexis was a fantastic debut that I finished in a couple of hours.

To begin with, I really liked Alexis. It must have taken a lot of strength to write her story and share it with the world. I’ve never really understood how young girls get caught up with online predators, but Alexis was very eye opening and proved how one simple message can change someone’s life forever....more

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Aug 27, 2010 Jennifer rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, memoir, ya

From My Book Review Blog, Rundpinne:[return][return]Alexis: My True Story of Being Seduced by an Online Predator by Alexis Singer is part of the Louder Than Words book series and is an eye-opening memoir for parents of teens and a valuable lesson for teens to read. Alexis, now a sophomore in college writes candidly about how easily she was seduced into an online relationship with a predator, how she had seen the television shows, knew the warning signs, yet she still fell for it. All the warning...more

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Apr 04, 2012 Brittany rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: wishlist, young-adult, non-fiction

Alexis was lonely. That's most likely why even though it went against he better judgment she took up an online relationship with a man old enough to be her father. There were many times when she knew in her gut that it was a terrible idea, but sometimes what you know and what you think you need are two different things.

So it's sort of hard to write a review of somebody's life story. I can't say things like that is so unrealistic or that could never happen in real life because it is and it did. L...more Alexis was lonely. That's most likely why even though it went against he better judgment she took up an online relationship with a man old enough to be her father. There were many times when she knew in her gut that it was a terrible idea, but sometimes what you know and what you think you need are two different things.

So it's sort of hard to write a review of somebody's life story. I can't say things like that is so unrealistic or that could never happen in real life because it is and it did. Luckily those are things I didn't think because this was a great book. I was so excited when I heard about Louder Than Words, and couldn't wait to get them in at the library. These are stories that need to be told. Alexis Singer tells her story plainly without much gritty detail, but a lot of emotion. One thing that bugged me a bit about this book though, was the timeline. She would talk about weeks or months passing but then go back to the first day of that time period. "I committed to participating in National Novel Writing Month in November... For a good two-thirds of the month, I was obsessed with it, writing 3,000 words religiously every night." Then the next chapter starts; "The day after Halloween..." I just didn't like how much the timeline jumped around. She kept getting ahead of herself with one thought and had to backtrack for the next thought. It just seemed sloppy. Besides that though, this was a fascinating look into the mind of a girl who was so lost that she sought comfort where she knew she shouldn't. I really liked that she compared her online relationship to being an addict. I can see where she's coming from. Attention somewhere is better than no attention and one can crave that comfort and then not be able to give it up that easily. This is a great novel for teens to be aware of. If it can even help one teen from not falling into a trap, maybe even worse than Alexis', than this book will have done it's job.

First Line:
"I wish I had known the future when an instant message (IM) popped up in the top right hand corner of my laptop screen on June 29, 2007."

Favorite Line:
"Addicts [feel] okay when they're getting what they need on a regular basis, but withdrawal is a whole different story."

Read more: http://www.areadingnook.com/#ixzz1r65...
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Feb 28, 2011 Brandi Kosiner added it

Alexis' story is very powerful and I think that more people should read and realize that it could be you!
Her voice is very authentic, and I was able to relate with things she was saying and how she felt about herself. This is a road that I could have easily been down myself, and I felt for her and wished there was something I could do for her and other victims.

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Sep 04, 2010 Krisanne Stewart rated it 3 of 5 stars

Wow. I wish all of my girl students would read this book about a 16 year old girl who lets a 30 something male talk her into doing things online that she would never dream about doing. This book would count for a Memoir/Autobiography/Biography credit in my class. It's an easy read as far as level of difficulty, but it's a difficult read as far as subject matter.

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Dec 28, 2012 Meg rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction

The writing in this book is very plain as straightforward, and the technology discussed automatically dates the material. That said, this is a realistic look at an all-too-common situation, could be a good read for teens at risk of online sexual abuse. Perhaps doesn't focus enough on how damaging this type of thing can be-- would best be followed by a speaker or discussion group, I think.

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Aug 24, 2010 Nicole rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction

Quote from WORD for Teens:

I started Alexis thinking it was the book I would connect to the least, enjoy the least, and leave thinking that the girl who wrote it was a moron. Mentally, I had always had little tolerance for the girls who participated in cybersex. I mean, yes - most of the fault lay with those who seduced them. But they should have known to stop. Right?

Then I read Alexis.

To read the full review, click here.

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Jun 12, 2012 Emily Brown (TheBrownReviews) rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: reads-of-2012

Concept/Ideas: 4/5
Writing Style: 3/5

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Dec 07, 2011 Zinniah Free rated it 4 of 5 stars

This was very good. It was also really sad, for it being a true story. I couldn't understand how someone could feel so alone and have to turn to a creep of a man for comfort. I could not put this book down. I wanted to find out what happened next. Im glad that the book had an some what happy ending.

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Oct 06, 2010 Calli Thomas added it · review of another edition

was a really good book. it showed that you should be careful on the internet.

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Mar 08, 2011 Heather rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: qp-2012

Can Alexis break her online addiction before it consumes her life?

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May 27, 2013 Ryanne marked it as to-read

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May 10, 2013 Aliece rated it 5 of 5 stars

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Apr 20, 2013 Dawn Reiffenstein rated it 4 of 5 stars

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Feb 15, 2013 Jessica Lee rated it 2 of 5 stars

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Shelves: new_spring2013

Jan 17, 2013 Jill Eisnaugle rated it 5 of 5 stars

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About Alexis Singer

Alexis Singer attended the Pittsburgh High School for the Creative and Performing Arts as a writer and is currently a sophomore at Chatham University in Pittsburgh, PA, studying political science and women's studies. She is nineteen years old.

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