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Adios, Nirvana

by Conrad Wesselhoeft (Goodreads Author)

3.97 of 5 stars 3.97 · rating details · 275 ratings · 93 reviews

When you piss off a bridge into a snowstorm, it feels like you’re connecting with eternal things. Paying homage to something or someone. But who? The Druids? Walt Whitman? No, I pay homage to one person only, my brother, my twin.
In life. In death.
Telemachus. Since the death of his brother, Jonathan’s been losing his grip on reality. Last year’s Best Young Poet and gift...more

Hardcover, 240 pages

Published October 25th 2010 by Houghton Mifflin Books for Children

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Dec 08, 2010 Isamlq rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: arc-galley

Among my favorite movies are Cameron Crowe's Almost Famous and Elizabeth Town... Relevance? These are what Adios, Nirvana reminds me of. In fact, the two things things that I enjoyed the most about these movies and this book are Music and heart. Now, I know next to nothing about music. I sing off-key; I cannot play any instrument, so these just make my appreciation/admiration of anyone with skills in said areas all the greater... Precisely why I enjoyed this book so much.

On a bridge, that's wher...more

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Apr 18, 2012 Darlene rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Reading this book was like riding on the wings of an eagle, soaring and swooping through grief, despair, hope and deliverance. The music and poetry of the language as well as the soul of Jonathan was a pleasure to read and experience. A wild ride that is honest, raw, tender, and life changing for the reader. Thank you, Conrad.

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Jan 14, 2012 BookChic Club rated it 4 of 5 stars

Before I start to get in too deep, the last sentence of the summary makes this book sound much more after-school special than it really is. This is a thoroughly realistic debut that doesn't sugarcoat anything and does a great job of dealing with Jonathan's emotions regarding his twin brother's death and the pressure he feels from everyone around him.

However, I will say there were times where I was thinking to myself "Oh my god, just get over it already and stop moping around!" but having not los...more

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Jan 06, 2012 Misty Baker rated it 5 of 5 stars

Everyone will eventually experience loss. The circle of life is as cruel and irrational as it is prosperous and giving. We will one day find ourselves saying goodbye to our mothers, our cousins, our children and our friends. The majority of us will wrap ourselves up in the comfort of our lives and eventually learn to live with the hand that fate has dealt us, but what happens to the fraction of us that remain broken… scared…searching for missing pieces? What happens when a piece of you, your bet...more Everyone will eventually experience loss. The circle of life is as cruel and irrational as it is prosperous and giving. We will one day find ourselves saying goodbye to our mothers, our cousins, our children and our friends. The majority of us will wrap ourselves up in the comfort of our lives and eventually learn to live with the hand that fate has dealt us, but what happens to the fraction of us that remain broken… scared…searching for missing pieces? What happens when a piece of you, your better half, your compadre in all things living, your TWIN is the one to welcome humanities cruelest joke?

Jonathan is one half of a whole. He is Robin without Batman, Telemachus without Odysseus , Nirvana without Cobain. Jonathan is the poet we all want to be, and the damage person we hope we never are. Jonathan is beautifully broken.

After the sudden death of his brother Telly, Jonathan is forced to face the reality of life without his sidekick, but things like school and the future are hard to see when his mind, (which works in jagged monologues and conversations with Whitman,) would rather dwell in self actualization and pity. After 1 very sobering evening, (involving a bridge and a 20ft jump,) his friends and mentors start to take notice of his self-destructive behavior and devise a plan. 1. Go to school 2. Write a book 3. Play your guitar 4. Embrace your life. Can life really be as simple as freeing your inhibitions? Can a group of hopeful people change the course of the hopeless? And does moving on mean you have to let go?

I wish I could use the words I normally flock to when I am stunned by a book. Eloquence, brilliant, artfully crafted, but none of these seem fitting enough for what I just experienced. “Adios, Nirvana” is a novel that read like a flawless string of poetry. It captured the realities that swirl around us and put it into a language that rivals its poetic influences. The physical story was of little meaning (a boy trying to deal with loss) the underlying complexities are what was important. It was about capturing your life, seeing both sides of the fence, understanding that life is just a particle of dust to be twisted and blown in the direction of which you choose.

Unfortunately, (at the moment) this book is unavailable, still in its publishers cubby and waiting to be sent to the masses, but I urge you to make note of it. Scribble it’s name on a wish list, type it into your PDA, or pre-order it. (whatever is your equivalent to a trusty string around your finger) because to miss it would be a shame.

This was (with out a doubt) the BEST book I have read in a year, and if I could give it 6 stars I would.

Get it, live it, love it… pass it on.

Happy reading my fellow Kindle-ites and remember: “These moments can be wonderful opportunities, but they’re not always apparent to us.”(less)

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Dec 30, 2011 Rita rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: fiction, young-adult

As many other reviewers indicate, Adios, Nirvana, by Conrad Wesselhoeft, is raw, powerful, and heartbreaking. Additionally, the voice of Jonathan is absolutely authentic. Nonetheless, I rated it at 4 stars instead of 5 because I found it to be not quite-tightly-enough-written. I felt it had too many characters that were not as deftly drawn as I would have liked, and it wandered around a bit too much especially with regard to the music. There was so much other content that deserved more attention...more

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Aug 19, 2011 Kathleen rated it 4 of 5 stars

I quite enjoyed this book, which I chose for its Overdrive availability. It's set in Seattle, at a somewhat indeterminate time (although it begins with a snowstorm that sounds suspiciously like December 2008, and refers to Eddie Vedder as having young kids, which would put it within the past few years or in the near future).

Anyway. The book doesn't have anything to do with the band Nirvana. It's about a teenage boy coping with the aftermath of his brother's death -- so yes, he's losing the Nirva...more

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Mar 15, 2011 Ray rated it 5 of 5 stars

Honestly, I got this book because it had a guitar on it. And fire. And because it said Nirvana, which is one of my favorite bands. That too. I know it was a stupid idea not to read any of it... but I did it anyway.

After I brought it home, I read the inside flap. The first line: "Johnathan may be able to connect with eternal things through the drunken haze of vodka-injected grapes..."

I closed it and looked at the cover again. Holy crap. What the hell did I just get?

I am not one to do that sort of...more

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Feb 15, 2011 Novel Novice rated it 5 of 5 stars

Adios, Nirvana by Conrad Wesselhoeft is one of those books that feels like a moment pulled out of time. It is ripe with pop culture references, set in a real-life breathing city and filled with characters who could be your best friends, your cousins, your neighbors, your siblings. Every part of it feels steeped in reality. It’s one of those books men can read to feel nostalgic about their youth; that teen guys can read to relate to in the present; and that girls and women can read to better unde...more Adios, Nirvana by Conrad Wesselhoeft is one of those books that feels like a moment pulled out of time. It is ripe with pop culture references, set in a real-life breathing city and filled with characters who could be your best friends, your cousins, your neighbors, your siblings. Every part of it feels steeped in reality. It’s one of those books men can read to feel nostalgic about their youth; that teen guys can read to relate to in the present; and that girls and women can read to better understand their husbands, boyfriends, brothers, fathers, etc.

Adios, Nirvana tells the story of high school junior Jonathan — who’s on the cusp of flunking out of school. He didn’t always struggle with school. In fact, his principal is still beaming over the accolades he received for being named last year’s Best Young Poet. But since then, Jonathan’s twin brother Telly was killed — and Jonathan hasn’t been the same since, and neither has his poetry or his music (both he & his brother were jamming guitar players). But Jonathan’s friends aren’t about to let him throw his life away — and neither is his mom or his teachers. So it’s with some reluctance that Jonathan ends up listening to a dying World War II veteran tell his story — and by writing down this man’s story, Jonathan will be able to scrape by and move onto his senior year of high school.

Wesselhoeft writes in such a way that his book comes to life. It doesn’t feel like fiction; it feels like something real. Like something I could reach out and touch. Jonathan feels like a real person; not a character. I can relate to him. I understand him. I could know him. And his friends, too. Every one of them is painted so vividly — without feeling cartoonish. They drink Red Bulls to stay awake. They jam loudly on guitars late into the night. They concoct insane plans involving a priceless guitar and a giant Velcro King Kong statue. They are teenage guys. We all know them. We either were them or we went to school with them. If you’re in high school now, they are your classmates. If you’re older, they shaped your past.

Likewise, Wesselhoeft’s descriptions of Seattle transport you there. I could picture myself in the grimy city snow; waiting for the bus; crossing the floating bridge. I could see myself walking along the hilly streets right alongside Jonathan. And I must confess, I’ve long had a bit of a thing for Seattle’s music scene. Yes, Seattle, the birth place of Grunge Rock. Of Nirvana and Pearl Jam. So to see this side of the city’s history come to life was exciting; it meant something to me.

And while Wesselhoeft’s story is steeped in the present day, the past is an equally important part of the story — just as it’s an equally important part of life, in general. For it’s through listening to David tell his stories from World War II that Jonathan finally comes to understand himself; that he comes to terms with his brother’s death. And somewhere along the way, he finds his voice, too. (less)

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Feb 05, 2011 MaryBookSwarm rated it 4 of 5 stars

Man, ADIOS, NIRVANA is raw, powerful and heartbreaking. Jonathan’s pain pulses off the pages, and he plays the tortured artist to the hilt. So much so that he's toes-over the crumbling edge of failing eleventh grade. Luckily for him, he had people who want him to succeed and aren't going to allow him to drop into the black pit of despair like he wants. Still, he does his best, starting with getting wasted, slipping off a bridge, and falling into his own puke (and this is just the first couple of...more

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Dec 22, 2010 Alissa rated it 4 of 5 stars

Cannot express how much I enjoyed this book. It’s a whirlwind of good characters, descriptions, and writing.

Jonathan is deep, insightful and creative, but not to an overwhelming degree. There are lighthearted, purely comical moments. The dialogue is a bit iffy; there’s an excessive use of whoa! and ching! and other strange exclamations. And the romance… well, it doesn’t exist. What little there is isn’t worth having. It fits, but isn’t one hundred percent convincing.

The friends aren’t characte...more

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Dec 10, 2010 Jim rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: young-adult, coming-of-age

This is my favorite debut novel by a YA author since "Looking for Alaska". I was hooked by the end of the first chapter and could not put it down. Jonathan is a budding writer and guitar player, locally famous for being the youngest winner of a prestigious statewide poetry competition, but he is also depressed and grieving after the recent, unexpected death of his twin brother, and his schoolwork is suffering badly. Faced with the prospect of having to repeat his junior year, the school principa...more

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Nov 24, 2010 Mary rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: arcs

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Nov 19, 2010 Cindy Hudson rated it 4 of 5 stars

Since Jonathon’s twin brother, Telly, had an accident and died, Jonathon can’t seem to function well. Once a rising star poet, now he’s in danger of failing 11th grade and finds himself contemplating suicide. But Jonathon’s friends—a group he calls his thicks—his teachers, and his school principal all believe in him. Together they help him learn to function without his twin for reflection and find his own reasons to continue living.

Adios, Nirvana by Conrad Wesselhoeft is sometimes raw and manic,...more

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Nov 15, 2010 ananka rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: death, teen, illness, local, friendship, coming-of-age

I happened to see this local author speak when I went to see Holly Cupala at Third Place books recently. I was intrigued by their banter about the book and decided I wanted to read it. Alas, my libraries copy was on hold, but then I got a galley--yeah, I know it is already out, but who could say no? And I read it on my iPod (which I don't recommend with this book, because the type was pretty small).

The feel of the story reminds me of K.L. Going's Fat Kid Rules the World. There are short, hot cha...more

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Oct 22, 2010 Karla Nellenbach rated it 4 of 5 stars

Since his brother's death, Jonathan's life has plummeted. Once a prize-winning poet, on his way to being somebody, Jonathan wanders through existence in a vodka-soaked daze and is on track to repeat his junior year. His friends (the Thicks) refuse to move onto senior status without him, so when the principal gives Jonathan an ultimatum: write the story of a WWII vet or flunk out, everyone rallies to help.

My take: First off, I love YA books with male MC's. They are so and far between that I liter...more

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Aug 18, 2010 Caleb J. rated it 1 of 5 stars

This book is dangerous, and not in a good/cool/edgy way. The story follows a teenage boy coping with the death of his twin brother, and I'll admit that when the author gets his tone right, it is pitch-perfect. But too often it seems that the narrator forgets that grief, healing, and the quest for identity are what this book is about. Too often, the book strays from that notion of loss and degenerates into the Self-Important Chronicles of a Self-Described Artist. Everyone, literally every single...more This book is dangerous, and not in a good/cool/edgy way. The story follows a teenage boy coping with the death of his twin brother, and I'll admit that when the author gets his tone right, it is pitch-perfect. But too often it seems that the narrator forgets that grief, healing, and the quest for identity are what this book is about. Too often, the book strays from that notion of loss and degenerates into the Self-Important Chronicles of a Self-Described Artist. Everyone, literally every single person in the book, is infinitely supportive and understanding of the narrator, constantly encouraging him and telling him how wonderful he is, and the boy responds to everyone with thick, derisive condescension. And no one even notices or cares.

The moral of the story really seems to end up being, "if you work hard to martyr yourself at every moment, everything will turn up aces." The only conflict in the story is that Jonathan nevers likes what he's doing, but he does it anyway and just complains and drinks Red Bulls the whole time.

Which brings up another point: the things included purely for characterization are what are really dangerous in this novel. Throughout the course of the book, this kid abuses caffine, energy drinks, sleeping pills, and alcohol. He and his friends also use the word "faggy" to describe something on two different occasions. I'm sure Mr Wesselhoeft would justify himself by saying that that is how teenage boys actually talk, and some may well talk that way, but not all. I think it is morally irresponsible to subtextually endorse homophobia in a book about a social outsider's search for identity. These are not things that should be portrayed positively in a young adult novel.

And my final bone to pick with this book is really a pretty minor thing: much of Jonathan's characterization is about how he's such a wonderful poet. Every character says things like, "You're such a good poet!" or "You've got a real gift!" In fact, he even wins a competition solidifying his reputation as the finest young poet in the state of Washington. If, as an author, you are going to make such a big deal about how great a poet he is, you should not include any of his poems in the novel. They will not live up to the hype. In fact, just about every bit of poetry scattered throughout the novel is almost completely forgettable, and that the narrator makes such a big deal about his own work makes him seem much, much, much more self-important and unlikable.(less)

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Jul 09, 2010 Cjrayl rated it 5 of 5 stars

Jonathon is surviving his twin’s death but just barely. Failing school, not caring for himself, and flirting with death, the reader is given a window into a very realistic look at a sibling who survives and must move from the shadow of his twin to the forefront. Interspersed through out the story are Jonathon’s poetic look at everything and the author has infused the story with this verbal richness.

The voice of the main character is real and compelling, pulling the reader into his personal strug...more

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Feb 10, 2012 Conrad Wesselhoeft added it · (Review from the author) · review of another edition

I loved writing this book--real people inspired the characters (though, at core, they are fictional). I believe that stories pull us closer together, as small groups and larger societies. Storytelling is more than mere entertainment; it is essential--for teller and hearer alike. Please check out adiosnirvana.com and/or "friend" the Adios, Nirvana facebook page. I welcome all feedback--rant, rave, or mixed. Best wishes to all on their reading and writing journey. Conrad Wesselhoeft

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Jan 02, 2011 Kelly Hager rated it 4 of 5 stars

Jonathan's falling apart. His twin brother died and now he's drowning his sorrows in Red Bull, skipping class and barely sleeping. He's about to fail his junior year but he's been given a second chance. If he agrees to meet with an elderly man and help him write his memoir, he'll be allowed to pass on to senior year. Otherwise, he'll be repeating 11th grade. (He gets this chance because he's a poet.) And there's another caveat: he has to perform a song at that year's graduation. Awesome...except...more

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Nov 21, 2011 Stevecrandell rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: grades-9-and-up, coping-with-loss, music, teen-boys

The narrator, Jonathan, is a Seattle teen grunge disciple. And he has an arrogant “cooler and deeper than you” tone to his conversation. It’s there when he talks with his mom, as if she’s some messed-up annoying friend. Then again, that may be what she is.

The tone is most obvious when Jonathan talks to us as readers. He feels and expresses poetry and poetic prose everywhere. Shred My Heart and Free My Soul Beat poetry.

Jonathan’s mom, his teen and adult friends, and his teachers, all bow at the...more

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Jan 18, 2011 Toeprint rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: young-adult, library

"Take 2 images: Girl falls asleep on Greyhound bus. The moon rises. By itself, the moon rising is nothing. It's a cliche. But the girl falling asleep and missing the moonrise is everything. It blasts the poem with pain and possibilities. Figure out what those possibilities are, and you've got a poem. That's the secret-to close your hand on jagged glass, then open it and find a butterfly." p39
Mimi doesn't know how to transform words into sticks of dynamite (ie threats) p51
In minutes, the sirens o...more

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Nov 05, 2010 Mari rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: netgalley, favorites, my-top10-books-2010

"To live is to swim toward the shimmer
To die is to never try"

Jonathan is barely surviving after the death of his twin brother Telly. He skips classes, doesn't sleep, survives on Red Bull, NoDoz and Special K topped with pure cane sugar from Hawaii. A year ago, he was awarded best young poet in Seattle, now he lives in a constant mindless stupor. The only poetry he actually writes is about his brother - the Tales of Telemachus. Less than five months before the end of the term, he receives an ulti...more

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Sep 11, 2010 Melissa rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: netgalley, 2010

After the tragic death of his twin brother, Jonathan is barely existing. His life, which was once filled with such promise, is now at a standstill. On the verge of being held back, Jonathan receives help from several likely and unlikely sources and learn a few valuable life lessons along the way. Throughout the story, Jonathan interacts with several individuals who help bring him back to life. His best friends (the "thicks") stick by him and help him deal with the loss of his twin and one of his...more

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Oct 14, 2012 Sudeshna rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Read the review here.
http://backstabber93.blogspot.in/2012...

'Maybe we don't need to hit the duck. Maybe all we need to do is say what we must say once, to another human being, openly and honestly, with humility and remorse. Maybe that is enough.'
Jonathan hasn't lived since long, from the day Telly left him alone. He's been burying it down and let it surface when it goes dark. 'Adios, Nirvana' is Jonathan's journey to self-discovery. The protagonist underestimates himself. The loss of his twin...more Read the review here.
http://backstabber93.blogspot.in/2012...

'Maybe we don't need to hit the duck. Maybe all we need to do is say what we must say once, to another human being, openly and honestly, with humility and remorse. Maybe that is enough.'
Jonathan hasn't lived since long, from the day Telly left him alone. He's been burying it down and let it surface when it goes dark. 'Adios, Nirvana' is Jonathan's journey to self-discovery. The protagonist underestimates himself. The loss of his twin brother has taken a toll on him. The guy who used to be one of the brightest chaps at Taft’s High School, now struggles to get promoted to the twelfth grade. What follows are the collective efforts of his English teacher, his Principal and his Crew of Thick’s efforts to let him not fall apart.
Jonathan’s English teacher, who is afraid that Jonathan’s talent might end up being nowhere, provides him with a challenge of writing the biography of an old, ailing sailor. Nausea sickens him and yet he is compelled to do it. As it turns out, this old man is the one who rescues him, convinces him to leave darkness behind and force himself to swim towards the shimmer.
Encompassing a span of a year, the novel is a potpourri of approximately every emotion that not simply a teen undergoes, but all of us do in general, irrespective of which age group we fall into. Ofcourse not every one of us has a twin whom we spell as life, but emotions don’t really change with the person depending on the relationship we have with them, or do they?
Jonathan is a sensitive guy, really emotional. I love how his thoughts flow, sometimes rhythmic like a poem, like a melody and sometimes all over the place. I understand why he walks up on the bridge. I understand why he drops the idea. I understand when he makes little scribbles on his little diary. It’s not just me. It’s each and everyone of us who’d understand, for he’d have been reading his story. Conrad Wesselhoeft, the author does a commendable job with portraying the protagonist’s state of mind. Everyone and everything really meld very well together.
Although there are no negatives but I’d still give it a 4 on 5, for I wish Jonathan’s thoughts covered a larger portion of the literature in the book.(less)

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Nov 05, 2010 Julia rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: arc, young-adult

Wow.

Telemachus was a great musician. He could make guitars weep and bring out the emotions the songwriters wanted to convey. He died one night, hit by a bus. His twin, Jonathan, lost his best friend, his other half. He's failing his junior year of high school, and can't seem to get a handle on life without his brother. His principal offers him a chance to make up the work he's missed, and continue on to his senior year with his friends: he is to write the memoirs of a WWII vet and perform a son...more

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Jul 14, 2011 Cara (Chasing Words) rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: EVERYONE

Shelves: favorites, titles-that-make-me-swoon, wishlist, contemps

♥ Favorite Line(s):
"That's the secret--to close your hand on jagged glass, then open it and find a butterfly."

"As a poet, I know that truth hides in the nuance."

"The nurse looked up from her clipboard.
'Who are you?'
'Good question,' I say."

♥ My thoughts:
I honestly do not think I can review this in the way I've been doing most of my reviews lately. ADIOS, NIRVANA is too lyrical, too raw, too poetic, to be discussed in a list format. That being said, this is one of the best books I've read in not o...more ♥ Favorite Line(s):
"That's the secret--to close your hand on jagged glass, then open it and find a butterfly."

"As a poet, I know that truth hides in the nuance."

"The nurse looked up from her clipboard.
'Who are you?'
'Good question,' I say."

♥ My thoughts:
I honestly do not think I can review this in the way I've been doing most of my reviews lately. ADIOS, NIRVANA is too lyrical, too raw, too poetic, to be discussed in a list format. That being said, this is one of the best books I've read in not only the past year, but ever. The story of Jonathan's triumphs and downfalls is up there on my list of "books I would marry if it were legal."

I am a huge fan of contemporary YA. Although I read more books with a supernatural element, I can honestly say I enjoy reading contemps. way more. I feel that it's harder to get a plot moving in realistic fiction. In paranormal romance, someone can vamp out or blow something up and BAM! there's a new challenge, a new plot twist waiting to be steered in the right direction. Contemporary twists and turns {when done well} seem more subtle, more sinuous to me. Almost lyrical in their delivery. I love the soft, smooth styles of Jandy Nelson and Melina Marchetta, love the raw, blunt style of authors like Hannah Moskowitz. When an author manages to weave both of these somewhat clashing elements into one story, he has my heart. Hence why John Green forever owns my soul {and I still think KATHERINES is one of his best and deserves to stop being treated like the middle child}. Ahem, anyway. Conrad Wesselhoeft manages what many struggle with, in ADIOS. He twists and bends the story into a completely believable, relatable, and utterly engrossing tale without losing sight of the message he wants to get across.

Throughout the novel, we see life through the eyes of Jonathan, 1/2 of the polar opposite pair he makes up with Telemachus. The twins are light and dark. Telly is talented, Jonathan's okay. Telly's a confident leader, Jonathan hangs in the back. Sounds cliche, right? Except it totally doesn't feel that way while reading. Jonathan's voice is so crisp and distinct that absolutely nothing seems overdone or cliche. And my lord, the internal dialogue is to. Die. For. While music is a big part of this novel, even the story itself seems like a song. The words practically flow from page to page. It's completely addicting, and I had a hard time taking a break half-way through because I felt I would lose the rhythm I'd grow accustomed to.

I know throughout this review I haven't really said much about the plot. Mostly because it's so simple when described. Twin dies. Remaining brother finds a kind of peace in the last place he imagined. So simple. Wesselhoeft's writing and language takes the simple plot and transforms it into a coming-of-age story for the ages. Had anyone else tried to pull this story off...well, I highly doubt I would've enjoyed it half as much. I cannot wait to read more from this author as he is now one of my favorite YA voices.

♥ Summing it up:
If you couldn't tell from the review, or didn't read it, I absolutely adored this novel. I want to marry this book.(less)

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Oct 28, 2010 Shy rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-in-2010, books-i-own, on-kindle, ya_genre-realisticfiction

Losing someone you truly love is probably the most tragic event that could happen in a person’s life. It is even harder when the one who was taken away was the one you looked up to, shared your passions with and whom you confided in. This is what happened to Jonathan – this is the story of his life, his guilt, his grief following the death of his better half, his twin brother, Telemachus/Telly.

Jonathan is a young poet that everybody wants to be but a torture soul that no one wants to become. Sin...more Losing someone you truly love is probably the most tragic event that could happen in a person’s life. It is even harder when the one who was taken away was the one you looked up to, shared your passions with and whom you confided in. This is what happened to Jonathan – this is the story of his life, his guilt, his grief following the death of his better half, his twin brother, Telemachus/Telly.

Jonathan is a young poet that everybody wants to be but a torture soul that no one wants to become. Since the death of Telemachus, he is no longer complete and he feels that no one can patch him back, to make him whole again. He crawls through life in a mindless stupor, dwells in self-pity and seems to only survive by consuming endless amount of taurine and caffeine tablets. Realising how self-destructive Jonathan has become, his best friends, which he called “his Thicks” and those others who know his true potential start devising a plan to wake Jonathan up from his prolong daze, to make him realise that his life is one that is worth living. What does it take for someone to begin moving on and embrace life? And can the course of life of the hopeless be changed by those who he loves and respects?

Adios, Nirvana is a book that portrays loss, grief, friendship and a value of life. The skeletal bone of the story is rather simple and of little meaning: a boy seeking for ways to handle his grief. However, the complexity of the messages hidden behind its intricate, raw, brilliant writing is what makes this book important and moving. Conrad Wesselhoeft is definitely not the kind of author who tailors his writing to make it more acceptable to everyone as he depicts reality of life as it is, no sugar coating and no polishing. I have no doubt that some people might feel rather uncomfortable with the way this book was written and some offensive language used along the way, but to me, this makes this book more real and believable.

One of the aspects in Adios, Nirvana that I thoroughly enjoy is the way the author slowly reveals the vital information, carefully creating the tension inside of the book. Ever since I start reading, I’ve wondered why Jonathan called his brother “Telemachus” but not by his real name. My question is answered towards the end of the book and it sort of emphasize the relationship between these two brothers, how one of them is one half of the whole and how truly decapitate Jonathan feels after his brother is gone. Other than that, Wesselhoeft also did an excellent job with the characters in this book. Jonathan is not entirely likeable from the beginning but the author lets readers embark this journey to see the changes in him and the real person that he suppresses beneath. The other characters too are very well-written and it can easily be seen how each and every one of them trying to help Jonathan moving on with his life.

Despite feeling that the ending is a little too rush; I am still overall satisfied with this book. A bittersweet story that talks about seizing the moment and understanding that despite every hurdle, life can still be the way we craft it to be. Adios, Nirvana is a book that I deeply love – the kind that leave imprints in my heart that won’t fade in many years to come.

Taken from my bookblog: The Bibliophile's Journal (less)

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Apr 26, 2010 Meredith rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Seattle grunge lovers, rock fans, guitarists

Shelves: netgalley, young-adult, reviewed, arc

Since the death of his brother, Telemachus/Telly, Jonathan has coasted through life in a sleepless haze, surviving on Red Bull and NoDoz and seeking solace in his beloved guitar, Ruby. Ruby is the only girlfriend he has ever had, his most trusted friend. Wesselhoeft develops this wooden instrument as he would a human character, even assigning her a seat of honor in Jonathan's rocking chair during get-togethers with his "thicks" (i.e., best friends). Ruby is not the only unusual character in this...more Since the death of his brother, Telemachus/Telly, Jonathan has coasted through life in a sleepless haze, surviving on Red Bull and NoDoz and seeking solace in his beloved guitar, Ruby. Ruby is the only girlfriend he has ever had, his most trusted friend. Wesselhoeft develops this wooden instrument as he would a human character, even assigning her a seat of honor in Jonathan's rocking chair during get-togethers with his "thicks" (i.e., best friends). Ruby is not the only unusual character in this book. Eddie Vedder, of Pearl Jam fame, also shows up from time to time.

Jonathan tries to hide his talents from the world and fails miserably. Despite himself, he wins a prestigious poetry award, an honor that lands him the gig of writing a dying veteran's memoirs. He restricts his guitar playing to jam sessions with his friends, convinced that he is not as talented as his deceased brother, but is asked to perform a song at his school's graduation ceremony. Moreover, he believes that he is a consolation prize to his "thicks," who always looked up to Telly, but this group of boys takes better care of him than he does himself. In other words, he lives in his brother's shadow by choice--it is through his interactions with others that we gain a sense of how gifted he is as a poet and musician.

What is so magical about this story is how slow it is to reveal vital information, generating a pace fraught with dramatic tension. In some regards, not much happens during this story. It doesn't need to. The narrative momentum lies in the questions Wesselhoeft doesn't answer immediately, the questions we want answered.

Adios, Nirvana is a bildungsroman. It is a celebration of music, particularly Seattle grunge and modern rock. It is the fictional memoir of a guitarist. And it is a treatise on grief, death, and dying. The novel manages to be all of these things without ever feeling unfocused or indulgent, as Wesselhoeft forges thematic bonds between these otherwise dissonant elements.

Perhaps my only complaint is how quickly the story ended, with too many "big red bow" moments to wrap up unresolved storylines. However, the ending does little to diminish the power of this narrative, one I won't soon forget. As a long-time lover of Seattle grunge and a sucker for strong first-person narratives, how could I?

Also, it is only a matter of time before I work the phrase "float a turd" into everyday conversation and raise legitimate questions about my sanity.

(Disclaimer: I received the galley proofs of this book from Houghton Mifflin Harcourt for review.)(less)

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Aug 02, 2010 Lisa Gibson rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2010-debuts

I will be buying a copy of this book for my son. I loved it! Jonathan has lost his brother, his twin brother. Since that time he has reached a level of inertia. He barely makes it in to school, can bring himself to care about rectifying the situation, until he’s not given a choice. He has his Thicks, his best buddies, and they refuse to let him give up on making it through his junior year. They’re a great group of guys who care deeply for one another and support one another in their journey thro...more

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Aug 29, 2010 Molly Blaisdell rated it 5 of 5 stars

Fearless. This is a book some may call dangerous. Some may call it evil. Some will hate it. No matter who you are; this book is going to make you uncomfortable. It will make you angry at times. It will challenge you to your core. If you want to read books that leave you the way you are and let you escape from yourself, try some dystopian/vampire/boy-saves-us-from-all-evil book. Try a milk toast version of Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys or a fairy tale. If you wish to "swim toward the shimmer" take the ti...more

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About Conrad Wesselhoeft

Conrad Wesselhoeft worked as a tugboat hand in Singapore and Peace Corps Volunteer in Polynesia before embarking on a career in journalism. He has served on the editorial staffs of five newspapers, including The New York Times. He is the author of the young adult novels ADIOS, NIRVANA (2010) and the forthcoming DRONE PILOT (2014). His ancestors were doctors to Emily Dickinson, Louisa May Alcott, a...more

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“Everybody's wondering, how can I arrange the daisies and dandelions of my life into a better bouquet? The answer is, you can't. Life is random. Life is absurd. Life is deadly. The bouquet arranges itself. And it doesn't always bloom or smell good.” — 5 people liked it

“That's the secret--to close your hand on jagged glass, then open it and find a butterfly.” — 2 people liked it

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