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Love as a Way of Life: Seven Keys to Transforming Every Aspect of Your Life

4.13  ·  Rating Details ·  637 Ratings  ·  93 Reviews
Each day involves countless interactions with others–not only among family and friends but also with neighbors, coworkers, even telephone solicitors. An attitude of love may ot be your top priority in some of these encounters. But what if the ancient maxim “love your neighbor as yourself” applied to everyone, including those you meet in the most ordinary circumstances?

ebook, 208 pages
Published July 15th 2008 by Image (first published January 1st 2008)
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Jun 26, 2012 Debby rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I chose to read this book b/c I wanted to know what Gary Chapman had to say about loving as a way of life, especially when it's hard or let's say, not so easy. I mean who wouldn't want to learn how to love better? However, it's one of those subjects that you think about but never get around to figuring out where to start or "what" needs tweaked. Personaly, I'd also rather read a book than fork out LOADS of money on some counselor who may not have much on the ball in the area of how to love other ...more
Abner Huertas
¿Qué es amar? es a caso un sentimiento?.

Para muchos el amar debe ser un sentimiento, si no lo hay se decide no amar a alguien. Con amar no me refiero a esa hermosa sensación de pareja sino al interesarte verdaderamente por los demás. ¿por qué se "acaba" el amor en las parejas?.... mucho de esto es dado a que vemos el amor como algo que se debe sentir.

Y qué tal si vemos el amor como una actitud intencional? En este libro Gary Chapman nos sugiere 7 características que debemos tú y yo desarrollar s
Apr 23, 2009 Jessica rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
[audiobook:] So annoying. Maybe I was mistaken in thinking that this book would be a "Christian" book, but more than an hour into it, he had yet to even mention God's name. I thought God was love... so maybe you should base what you're saying in who He is and what His Word says? What a concept. Maybe someday I'll finish listening to this book, but I'm not sure I can sit through it.

1/9/10: So I finished this book a few weeks ago, and I'm glad to be done with it. I listened to it while I was clean
Mar 13, 2013 Marisha rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
I skimmed through every page of this book and noticed that while covering such topics as forgiveness and humility he did not reference any Scripture nor mention Christ until the last chapter of the book, where he talks about serving as Christ did when he washed the disciples feet. I am disheartened that he would write an entire book about love and hardly reference the Bible at all. We cannot teach goodness and virtue apart from the authority of Christ and his Word. We have no good apart from him ...more
Jul 21, 2008 Erin rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: inspirational
This is the first book this year that I have started but will not finish. It is the Word of God that changes people, and there is very little of the Bible here. God is Love, and to teach about being a loving person without Him at the center falls flat. The seven principals in this book can largely be found in the Fruit of the Spirit and can never be put into your life by formula. Pick up your Bible if you want to see your life transformed. You cannot spend your time any better!
Wannie Michelmann
I love the way Gary Chapman always presenting practical stuff we can do. In this book it covers basically how to serve others through patience, love, kindness, courtesy, forgiveness, humility and generosity. It is anti-culture however being holy is being anti-culture. I like this book a lot. It motivates me to want to be better and start looking out for small ways daily to serve others.
Jul 18, 2012 Jessica rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: parenting
This was a great book to really find out where you could do a better job of showing people love. It goes through the different characteristics of love and how you can put them into action in your own life. I was able to see for myself where I could do a better job on each area.
Oct 19, 2011 Sue rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book gives a solid foundation for the principles of expressing love to other people. It's written from a Christian perspective, but in a fairly low-key way so that it could be applicable to everyone.

The author proposes that the main methods of behaving in a loving way to strangers as well as family and friends include kindness, forgiveness, courtesy, and honesty. All rather obvious, yet it seems that most people display only one or two of these and need a refresher course in ways to show m
I listened to this as an audiobook on my way to work (at an inner-city high school where there is a serious love deficit in some kids). It was absolutely the perfect thing to hear as you're stuck in traffic or anticipating your to-do list because it gave me a sense of PEACE. Chapman's sweet southern drawl helped, too. I would love to photocopy excerpts of this book and give it to my students as a reading/self-reflection. It would be a great addition to any values education program as well as for ...more
Karen Blanchette
Apr 08, 2013 Karen Blanchette rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Ok, so I only made it through halfway through the first subject: "Kindness", so my opinion doesn't have a whole lot to go on, but I just didn't want to keep reading it.

I think my main issue with this book is that I really don't think it said much of anything. I mean, when you think of living a loving life of course kindness is going to be one of your traits. I don't really need a whole chapter of examples on different ways to be kind. I learned that stuff when I was 5. Granted, we don't always d
Mandy J. Hoffman
In reading this book I was challenged to re-evaluate how I show love to people in my life. Dr. Chapman's walk through Kindness, Patience, Forgivness, Courtesy, Humility, Generosity, and Honesty is rather simple, yet is a good reminder of how we should be fleshing these qualities out each and every day. This is a good book to read or listen to as a refresher course on loving others to stir up our passion for doing so and our creativity in doing so. The fact that there is a book on the market that ...more
Aug 03, 2008 Brigid rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
As a habit, I don't read self help books, but this one caught my eye at the library. I had to check it out a few times to read it through, since I couldn't seem to stick with it. But, I have read most of it, all except the end which I intend to read soon enough. What I learned from this book was not that eye opening. I believe that after reading this book another person might see where they could be more loving, but most days I think I follow these principles very well. They are very simple and ...more
Oct 10, 2013 Charmin rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: growth
1. Putting your spouse before yourself is crucial to making marriage work.
2. Kindness involves sacrifice. "I'm the one who is privileged to help someone in need."
3. Allow someone to be imperfect.
4. Love is an attitude that says "I choose you to focus my life on helping others.
5. Life is a slow journey of becoming the people we choose to be.
6. Small lies destroy relationships.
7. Generosity: In today's culture, time is one of the most important things we can offer someone. To give someo
Mar 16, 2013 Jason rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: improvement
Great follow up to his Five Love Languages series. The "seven secrets" is 7 aspects of how love is expressed: Kindness, Patience, Forgiveness, Courtesy, Humility, Generosity, and Honesty.

The most life-changing idea is that "in love" lasts an average of 2 years (according to studies) - that to love is a choice we must make.

I found it interesting that he allows that "Courtesy" is a social construct: therefore, there is no base principle. I believe courtesy is based on consideration of what others
Jun 10, 2016 Ari rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
"A wonderful book"

Love is such a difficult topic to dissect. In this book "Love as a way of life", love is being presented as consisting of seven important ingredients: kindness, patience, forgiveness, courtesy, humility, generosity and honesty. I thoroughly enjoyed reading and learning about all of them. The writings - real examples and wisdom - are heartfelt and practical. It teaches us not only of how a loving attitude is important in our lives, but have it presented as a way of life that we
Stormie Walston
Great advice but he never actually mentions Christ. It's as if he is afraid to turn people off by bringing religion into it so he speaks vaguely, practically using code words like "Love" instead of "God". His information is great and encouraging but I'm afraid he is leading people to a broken cistern. We cannot truly love without the God-given grace to be selfless. What beauty there is in the message of salvation (which is all about love) yet he leaves it almost entirely out of this book. This b ...more
It took me much too long to finish this book. I think was a good book - one that I probably need to reread.

Chapman devotes chapters to kindness, patience, forgiveness, courtesy, humility, generosity, and honesty. He considers these to be the traits of an attitude of love. He goes through each trait and carefully articulates why it ties with love. It is obvious to me, that Chapman has thought long and hard about love.

The author goes on to talk about why these ideas need to be applied to your rela
Loren Landree
Jun 10, 2016 Loren Landree rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I really enjoyed this book. It is a guide to loving one another. Not just your spouse, not just your family... Everyone you encounter. In this day in age of where everyone is focused on themselves this book shows that loving every person you encounter makes a difference. Everyone is worthy of love, respect, and kindness. I really enjoy Gary Chapman's writing style and I will definitely read more of his books. If everyone treated one another how this book describes the world would be a much bette ...more
Feb 23, 2013 Shayne rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Why is it so hard to follow something so simple? The seven keys Kindness, Patience, Forgivness, Courtesy, Humility, Generosity, and Honesty are simple, strait forward and known to all of us. Yet in every relationship that we have, we have to work at using these traits. Sometimes its easier than others bu in every relationship I could remember to apply these keys a little better. That is what this book did for me. It reminded me who I want to be and how I want to interact with the people around m ...more
Oct 08, 2009 Karen rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: educational
I know that when I keep bringing up examples from the book I just read in my everyday life that it clearly must have had an impact on me.

This book is everything I believe about who I want to become, all laid out with examples and self analysis checklists. It's sort of a precursor to the 5 love languages, in that, before you can use the love languages, you've got to be a loving person. Once you are working on that, then the love languages help you figure out how to channel that love for each spe
Pranada Comtois
This book fits into the Christian Living category. I'm not a Christian, but a Bhakti practitioner--an Eastern path quite different from the Western Judeo-Christian mindset. But I got a lot from this book. Not only the philosophical exposition, but the sections for personal reflection. This book crosses denominational boundaries, touching the core of what makes us human and delivering the essence of what human evolution could look like.
This book is so important to me right now. It is one of the best "Christian" genre book I've read. I don't believe it can only be read once. There's so much there to learn and to contemplate, and then pray about. This book can help you, or someone you love, see in color, or at least that's my little belief. If you don't know what I mean by "see in color," I mention it all the time to my friends and family, and in another one of my book reviews here.
Nov 16, 2013 Lorrainesoucie rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book is a must read !!!!! I read Five Languages and it was good,but did not really hot the spot. Love as a way Of Life is so practical that it has to work. It is the little things in life that show real love, the simple things. Roses are nice and they have their place, but they are not the everyday. We all need to know that we are needed and that someone cares. And it is the little things that matter. Love is what you do and not what you say,

This book is a winner!!!
Oct 08, 2016 Emily rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This was great to listen to the last few weeks. At first, the author's southern drawl was a little distracting, but I got used to it. So much of it is common sense, so some people wouldn't like that, but it gave me ideas of how to be more loving and also helped me realize areas that I was not being loving but didn't realize it. I really enjoyed this book. It would be a good book to refer back to periodically.
Tim Chavel
Feb 22, 2012 Tim Chavel rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
What a great book to help you understand "how" to love. gary Chapman covers the seven ways to show love. Which are: kindness, patience, forgiveness, courtesy, humility, honesty, and generosity. He also has chapters applying this to marriage, children, and co-workers. I plan to add quotes from this book to my blog when time permits. You can find my blog at

If you want to learn "how" to love I would highly recommend this book.
Jul 30, 2008 Lori rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I heard the author (who also wrote the best seller The Five Love Languages)speaking and immediately checked the book out from the library. So far it's been excellent; a really practical look at what traits characterize love. This is not a book about getting people to love you, it is a book about learning practical steps to becoming a more loving person in ways that will be easily perceived by others.
Feb 02, 2011 Alison rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I like Gary Chapman's stuff so I had high expectations from this book - and I wasn't disappointed. It's very practical, dealing with everyday things and attitudes (like being kind) that we can all do, or choose not to do, and shows how they're a powerful way of improving our world. It's encouraging to see how such everyday things can make a difference and it's given me a great preaching series at church as well. Bonus!
Jul 28, 2008 Michelle rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Anyone who wants to be happy
Shelves: spiritual
This is a beautiful and very useful book from the author of The Five Love Languages. He expounds on seven traits or characteristics of loving people, and how we can better live out those traits in our lives and improve our relationships and our peace. Wonderfully useful book that really dovetails with much I have been reading lately from latter-day prophets and apostles, and Charlotte Mason.
May 23, 2012 Breen rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Really liked several of Chapman's other books - but this one was intolerable to read. Too much info from his other previous nooks slapped together with common sense. Seriously not worth the time in my opinion. Read half & stopped. Which is SO not like me, I am usually a read to the end of a book do or diehard gal.
Sep 22, 2008 Lori rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Lori by: Joan
This is by the same author who wrote "The 5 Love Languages." I read this book at the same time I read "Don't sweat the small stuff" and "How to win friends and influence people." All 3 of these books were so similar in their message that they have blended together for me and I can't write a review now. I really liked all of them.
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Married more than 45 years to Karolyn, Dr. Gary Chapman is just the man to turn to for help on improving or healing our most important relationships. His own life experiences, plus over forty years of pastoring and marriage counseling, led him to publish his first book in the Love Language series, The 5 Love Languages®: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. Millions of readers credit t ...more
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“Life is a slow journey of becoming the people we choose to be.” 0 likes
“Will Durant once said, “To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves.” 0 likes
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