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You Say More Than You Think: Use the New Body Language to Get What You Want!, The 7-Day Plan
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You Say More Than You Think: Use the New Body Language to Get What You Want!, The 7-Day Plan

3.56 of 5 stars 3.56  ·  rating details  ·  371 ratings  ·  60 reviews
Now You’re Talking!
Do you want to be bulletproof at work, secure in your relationship, and content in your own skin? If so, it’s more important than ever to be aware of what your body is saying to the outside world. Unfortunately, most of what you’ve heard from other body language experts is wrong, and, as a result, your actions may be hurting, not helping, you.

With sass
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ebook, 240 pages
Published February 16th 2010 by Harmony (first published 2010)
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Richard Stephenson
Game. Changer. Definitely recommended - with one caveat (shared with the author). You MUST do the exercises. Much like Dale Carnegie stated in his book on effective speaking, you can read all of the books on language you can handle - not a lick of 'em will bring you to the level of proficiency you desire without doing the work. (okay, so I paraphrased...) Read all the books you want on lifting weights - if you never pick up a weight, then you'll not have a rippling, heaving bosom - sorry.

I hones
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Clayton
I want to rate this 4 stars. I like the ideas and some of the content in the book but I found the execution to be poor. I thought the exercises were unrealistic expectations for someone to do in a short period of time. I really did not like starting the 'first day' of the 7 day journey with a story about a serial killer then ending with a set of exercises that were too much. It was at this point I stopped attempting to follow the '7 day' journey the book proposed and decided to read/re-read the ...more
Vanessa
Sometimes I'll put RANDOM books on my library hold list after seeing something about them in a monthly newsletter. This was one of them. Sooo not my style (MUCH too self-helpy) and I just skimmed most of it. If you're interested in that type of thing, there were a couple helpful hints about projecting confidence and some tricks about reading body language. I'll just tell you so you don't have to read it: confident people don't cover vulnerable parts of their body (face, neck, crotch) with their ...more
Nick
An unintentionally funny book on mastering body language. This tome mixes some plain old-fashioned myths of body language and some genuinely new thinking. The combination is a little dangerous. After warning -- quite properly -- readers not to try to decode a specific gesture because it may have multiple meanings, the author goes on to teach readers to use specific gestures -- as if their meanings were consistent (and useful) in all settings! I'm sorry, but you can't have it both ways. It's not ...more
Justwinter
So...a pre-review? Does that count? I do think that we communicate non-verbally much more than we think, or perhaps are aware of. What drew me to this book is what others have said--that the author goes out of her way to say that these aren't hard & fast rules--that some folk may naturally 'hug' themselves or cross their arms--and it doesn't by default mean anything negative--it's just their 'norm.' I'm curious to see how I feel about this book & its content after I've finished reading i ...more
Snapee
It was what I call a 'rough diamond'. It's full of great ideas, but the execution is indeed hurried and rather poor.

The basic idea (change your life by changing your body language)
has potential, but I have a feeling that the writer just wanted to make a quick buck and didn't put a lot of effort in it.
It seems like a book that was written in a month or so.

That said, this book was indeed full of great ideas, concepts and useful information on body language.
Gwendoline Van
We just moved to a new city, so I thought I'd read about getting off on the right foot. Literally.

What a gem this book is! Janine talks you through 8 core components of new body language, dispelling some of the old standbys of smiling, handshakes, the figure-4 power seat, and more. She talks about the three most vulnerable centers of the body -- throat, belly button, naughty bits -- and shows how, covered or uncovered, they subconsciously direct a situation and portray you as confident, anxious
...more
Marcus Calvin
This is very good, love how applicable this is to everyday life! Its been awhile since I read this book, however, I use the concepts in this book to understand how people are truly feeling or being when they don't want to say. Really works on empathy, confidence, and breaking down a person's habits so that you can better communicate. Marvelous
Sean Goh
Basically the NEW body language asserts that body language is not a key to mind-reading, and that there is a need for a balance to be struck between appearing arrogant and assertive.

Rapport building hinges upon exposure of the vulnerable regions (neck, belly button, groin (the author insists on using 'bits' when referring to the groin, which seems weirdly immature. Call a spade a spade.)

Breaking rapport can be purposefully done in order to elicit discomfort and draw confessions (think police int
...more
Shelley
A quick and easy read with interesting and thought-provoking ideas and tips that are fairly simple to implement.

The repeated references to "naughty bits" drove me nuts. Why can't an adult who is willing to drop the f-bomb multiple times in a page (totally inappropriate, quote or not) and other colorful terms find at more professional term?? this book couldn't decide whether it was a serious leadership development book, a "how to get a guy/girl" book, a preachy self-help book or a brag-rag for a
...more
Ron
Better than most of the books I've read on the subject because it is the one best able to support behavior change. The material is covered in seven chapters with exercises to be completed on seven days, so that you can begin to look for and learn each aspect of body language one day at a time. It also does a good job focusing on both reading and performing. And it makes the important point that no one move necessarily means anything. Context matters, people behave differently, we can't read mind ...more
Jessica
I found that this book provided some great tips for recognizing body language cues. There are some things that are relatively easy to put into use right away, and other things that would take a lot of practice to really master. But I think the ability to follow the "7-Day Plan" that the book talks about would be very challenging for most people. It seemed like it would require a lot of work and a lot of time to really complete everything that is outlined. Obviously, I didn't do it. However, just ...more
Scott Hayden
Jan 16, 2014 Scott Hayden rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Scott by: Jamestoffee
Shelves: psychology
Good awareness raiser. I probably have been sending body language messages different from what comes from my mouth. For example, I use a lot of palms down gestures, which shows close-mindedness, when I really want to invite dialog.

You get more out of this book if you actually do the exercises. And even more from it if you talk with others about it.
Christanto Jk
A very good book, it teach you a lot about body language and how to react in some common situations. A must read book.
Stephanie
Interesting and informative, really 3 stars but I'm giving a 4th for readability. Pretty sure I am not going to conquer the world via body language, but it is helpful to be more aware.
Terri
I'm always interested in first-hand accounts of law-enforcement techniques, and yet, always suspicious of claims of complete confessions from hardened criminals - especially when those claims are based on having good body language! Is it really a matter of "facing navels" to make people tell me everything they know?! I haven't tried out any of the techniques in the book, so I can't speak to how well they work, but this book is a fascinating read just for the anecdotes from the author's law enfor ...more
Mary
Although not a page turner I found this book to be very interesting and fascinating. I was not dedicated enought to do the homework assignments as outlined by the author although I have no doubt that it would make the reading even better and the person better at using body language if they were to engage in these activities. I have found myself looking at people in a different way when they talk to me and examining things I had often overlooked. If this topic is your thing, I really liked this b ...more
Jeff
Yeah. It was OK. It certainly made me more aware of the kinds of body language I favor (as well as the potential signals that body language might send). I did appreciate the section on the role of questions in conversations and listening. I'll be interested to hear what the rest of the members of our Get Smart! Book Discussion have to say.
Margot Note
From a testimonial by someone helped by the author: "I learned that being shy is selfish in a way, because you are expecting others to do the work that you should be doing" (38). So true!

Once you know what to look for, you can see what people are really feeling. I've also improved my own body language to get what I want. A bonus: the most mundane gatherings are fascinating now because I'm reading the room!
Alicia
Apr 06, 2012 Alicia rated it 3 of 5 stars
Recommended to Alicia by: Melynda
This was also a 2.5-star book. I'm not a big self-help fan, but a friend loaned me a stack of self-help books she enjoyed so I've been trying to get through them. I didn't do all the "exercises" in this book, but I enjoyed the author's tips on body language (especially when she used examples of the importance of body language and facial expression when talking with an uncooperative teenager).
Jennifer Patrick
Useless! The main concept of this book was you can't apply blanket statements regarding body language because everyone is different. Really? What at shocker! And the author kept using the term "naughty bits". I am not in 3rd grade. Groin or pelvis or even genitals would have been preferable. That's not usually the part of the body I'm "reading" anyways. This woman was obsessed!
Robert
This book contains a wealth of useful information on reading body language (others' and your own) and adjusting encounters to your advantage. While useful, this level of interpersonal manipulation is distasteful to me, and the author failed to convince me otherwise. On the other hand, if that's what you're looking for, this is a pretty good option.
Mark
Our Worthington Library book-club read this. Fifteen of us met to discuss and found it to create a lot of meaningful and inciteful dialog. Shows that much of what we think we already know about body language is 'myth'. A pragmatic book about evaluating your own and other's body language and how to go about using that information to your advantage.
Brett Chapin
A great book for simple and quick adjustments you can make to direct a conversation in a more pleasant path. This book can help a lot of people with building friendships or relationships and strengthen their rapport. But the one thing I think everyone should read this book for is above all other factors this book can help boost your self-confidence!
Brett Carp
A fun read with interesting observations and some good tips. I gained a new respect for all those who majored in communications. It is a working book so if you have a week and truly want to try the plan it can be pretty fun. Especially recording yourself and watching it later after you work through a few days worth of the exercises.
Andrea
Very interesting and informative. I can definitely make use of the information- one of the best books on body language I've ever come across. I didn't like the "activities" at the end of each chapter- but maybe I would've internalized the info better if I had done them.
Mark
Ok, this book is pretty impressive. I really don't like books that say things like 'The 7 Day Plan!' because they're usually scams. But this book, while the '7 day' promise is basically bunk, does offer some fascinating glimpses into the world of body language.
Jeffrey
Wonderful insights and concise writing make this an easy, speedy read. This is a book every public speaker should read. To be an effective public speaker, one must be aware of how nonverbal cues communicate what is being said and what is being thought.
Book Noir (Erica)
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Jordan Gamliel
a great book written from a forensic perspective by law enforcement. Janine Driver breaks down everything into charts and graphs while using personal experience to support her examples. I gained a lot out of this book, especially the belly button rule. A+
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