You Learn by Living: Eleven Keys for a More Fulfilling Life

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You Learn by Living: Eleven Keys for a More Fulfilling Life

3.96 of 5 stars 3.96 · rating details · 316 ratings · 64 reviews

One of the most admired people of the twentieth century, Eleanor Roosevelt remains a role model for a life well lived. At the age of seventy-six, just two years before her death, Roosevelt penned this simple guide toward a more fulfilling life. The commonsense ideas-and heartfelt ideals-presented in this volume are as relevant today as they were five decades ago. Her keys...more

Paperback, 224 pages

Published May 1st 2009 by Westminster John Knox Press (first published January 28th 1960)

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Jan 29, 2013 Carol rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, fear, leadership, learning-to-be-useful

In just 11 chapters, Eleanor shares with us her own interpretation of the basic philosophy of life. She believes that her basic philosophy is best expressed in the choices one makes daily. She discusses fear, a stumbling block, the great crippler, is something we all face. She stated "Looking back, it strikes me that my childhood and my early youth were one long battle against fear." She realized that "the danger lies in refusing to face the fear, in not daring to come to grips with it. If you f...more

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Apr 03, 2008 Heather rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Any woman who would like to learn from an extraordinary woman.

I loved, loved, loved this book. I felt this book is a rare gem that few people know about. It was like listening to a wise grandma casting her pearls of wisdom that are still very applicable today. The thing I loved the most is that I think anyone could relate to Eleanor Roosevelt! She was an extraordinary woman, yet so ordinary(like you and me) at the same time.
This is one that I will definitely read again.

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Jan 05, 2013 Eleanor rated it 5 of 5 stars

I'm loving this short read by a fellow member of team Eleanor. It's filled with very sincere anecdotes from her life, largely in response to the letters she received asking for advice about life in general. There are some fantastic stories and pieces of advice that, though they come from someone two generations removed (or three?) the core of the message is timeless. There's one great story about "time wasters" that had me laughing out loud on the plane. Just when you think Eleanor is going to g...more

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Aug 19, 2011 Miz Lizzie rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: fear, history, leadership, memoir, non-fiction, usa

So interesting on so many different levels. The book serves as a self-help manual, a memoir, a textbook on good citizenship and how to become a public servant, a source of small meaningful stories and inspirational tidbits, and a historical document. Written at the end of her life, Eleanor Roosevelt embraced her role as Elder and Public Servant to write a book summarizing the greatest lessons of her life to share with others. In brief, make deliberate effort to overcome your fears, small and lar...more

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Feb 24, 2012 Allie Smith rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: self-help, memoir

It was a pretty good book & an easy read. Her 11 "rules" are logical and her explanation of them, plausible. They also stand the test of time! She was apparently a pioneer of the "Self-help movement." Although, I believe this would appall her…she was not a fan of psychiatry or therapy. Interestingly, all rules are still applicable to our world today.

Her style is a little dated...even if you didn't know WHO wrote it, you would know it was from a different generation and a different time peri...more

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Aug 12, 2010 Melissa Baggett rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: feminism-women-s-studies, success-literature

In this book, Eleanor Roosevelt outlines eleven actions that each person must take in order to lead a fulfilling life. They are as follows:
1. Learning to Learn--This first key makes the others possible. A fulfilled person must be curious and must learn to use his or her mind as a tool to understand and influence the world. Roosevelt insists that beyond discipline and training, a sense that life is an adventure makes people not only willing but passionate to learn about themselves, their fellow h...more In this book, Eleanor Roosevelt outlines eleven actions that each person must take in order to lead a fulfilling life. They are as follows:
1. Learning to Learn--This first key makes the others possible. A fulfilled person must be curious and must learn to use his or her mind as a tool to understand and influence the world. Roosevelt insists that beyond discipline and training, a sense that life is an adventure makes people not only willing but passionate to learn about themselves, their fellow human beings, and the world. Interests cultivated by the curious mind beget new interests, which beget new interests, and so on, until the interested person is the fulfilled person.
2. Fear, The Great Enemy--For a woman whose husband intoned, "We have nothing to fear but fear itself," this key does not surprise the reader. "Fear has always seemed to me to be the worst stumbling block which anyone has to face," Roosevelt writes. "It is the great crippler." Roosevelt's suggestion for overcoming fear is self-discipline--once one has faced certain fears, the strength and confidence gained from those experiences foster the overcoming of new fears. On the flip side, not facing one's fears makes one weaker, and when one is weaker, one has a harder time facing other fears. "Do the things that interest you and do them with all your heart. Don't be concerned about whether people are watching you or criticizing you. The chances are that they aren't paying any attention to you. It's your attention to yourself that is so stultifying."
3. The Uses of Time--As someone who never feels like I'm productive enough, I was especially interested in Roosevelt's ideas on the subject. One statement, credited to a deceased relative, sticks out: "We have all the time there is." Roosevelt solves the problem of the best way to use time in three ways: 1) achieving an inner calm that allows for one to function contentedly in a stressful environment, 2) concentrating on the task at hand (TAKE THAT MULTITASKING!!!), and 3) arranging the day so that certain tasks are completed at certain times, planning for everything that must be done, and remaining flexible enough to handle the unexpected. Roosevelt also stresses the importance of maintaining good health in order to facilitate the other methods. But these steps are secondary to having something to use one's time for. "The most unhappy people in the world are those who face the days without knowing what to do with their time. But if you have more projects than you have time for, you are not going to be an unhappy person." One must decide what one's life (i.e. time) is going to count for, and then make it count.
4. The Difficult Art of Maturity--Self-respect and self-knowledge as well as an understanding of one's limitations and the limitations of others are all crucial components of maturity. Another important factor is an awareness that as people, we are interdependent. Roosevelt stresses that teaching children as early as possible how little they can do alone is key to helping them become happy, productive adults. Being able to take and use criticism and evaluation are also indicators of maturity. At the top of the heap comes an awareness of one's own values. "To be mature you have to realize what you value most.... Not to arrive at a clear understanding of one's own values is a tragic waste. You have missed the whole point of what life is for."
5. Readjustment is Endless--Here is an interesting observation on Roosevelt's part: She states (correctly, I believe) that women have the advantage of being expected, to a greater extent than men, to make adjustments throughout their lives. The key to handling life is to adjust when necessary; happy people tend to be happy in spite of their circumstances, not because of them.
6. Learning to be Useful--"Happiness is not a goal, it's a by-product." One achieves fulfillment by having a sense of purpose. "Usefulness, whatever form it may take, is the price we should pay for the air we breathe and the food we eat and the privilege of being alive." Roosevelt touts the importance of volunteer work, pointing out that needs exist for all kinds of people to do all kinds of work. One should express one's appreciation for living on this earth by helping others, regardless of monetary rewards.
7. The Right to be an Individual--Roosevelt posits that in order to be fully human, one must assert one's individuality. Human nature is all about an innate drive to be oneself and to achieve self-actualization through various expressions of that self. "It is a brave thing to have courage to be an individual; it is also, perhaps, a lonely thing. But it is better than not being an individual, which is to be nobody at all." Roosevelt lauds what she calls social conformity, which is basically the kind of behavior that allows people to co-exist in society, while decrying conformity to "alien" standards in order to go with the proverbial flow and achieve a level of acceptance by denying one's true self. Roosevelt refers to the keeping up with the Joneses as "the real menaces of this country." (And, as we have seen in the years since she wrote this book in 1960, it's also a menace to our environment and the world.) Not only will one never reach the status of the Joneses, one will lose oneself in the effort. "You can get rid of your neighbors, but you cannot get rid of yourself, so you are the person to be satisfied."
8. How to get the Best out of People--Very little can be accomplished alone. A truly happy, fulfilled person will come to accept, learn from and use the strengths and weaknesses of others as a part of life. Roosevelt identifies two qualities one must have: one must be a good listener, and one must be able to empathize with others. People share more commonalities than they do differences; being able to see oneself as a member of the human race and learning to work with others in that race is crucial.
9. Facing Responsibility--One statement in this chapter jumped out at me more so than others: "I have often thought that so much attention is paid to the aggressive sins, such as violence and cruelty and greed with all their tragic effects, that too little attention is paid to the passive sins, such as apathy and laziness, which in the long run can have a more devastating and destructive effect upon society than the others." Passivity is a far graver and more insidious enemy in that it enables aggression, but it also gives people an excuse not to take responsibility. Is to abstain from building gas chambers the same as to fight for human rights? And at the same time, if the gas chambers are built, outfitted and used while one passively looks on, is one not responsible in some part for their existence? To be responsible, one must not only monitor one's behavior, but one must have the courage to speak out when others are doing wrong. But before any of that can happen, Roosevelt maintains that one must have the courage--and take the responsibility--to decide for oneself what is right and what is wrong.
10. How Everyone Can Take Part in Politics--Bad news. Voting is a minimum, according to Roosevelt. Not only must one vote, but one must be educated about whom to vote for and what their stance on issues means in terms of its implications for the future. Challenging the "If you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas" argument, Roosevelt maintains that the only way to instill any sort of integrity into the dirty business of politics is to actively involve oneself in it, and, using integrity, reform it.
11. Learning to be a Public Servant--If one chooses to be a public servant, the challenge comes in understanding, first of all, what that means. A public servant must serve, first and foremost, and be empathetic to the needs of his (and Roosevelt sticks to this pronoun) constituents. At the same time, a good public servant must not rely on his position for his livelihood; only a public servant with some other means of income can truly make the best decisions. Public servants must also have an ear for the suggestions of others but not get so bogged down in public opinion that they never do anything worth the effort for fear of offending someone.
A good read, though I would have preferred more concrete examples from Roosevelt's own life and fewer anecdotes about those in her acquaintance.(less)

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Jun 23, 2011 Lindsay rated it 3 of 5 stars

This book was ok. I didn't find it super life changing or anything. Its a pretty simple basic book, targets to the point where we should learn as much as we can, and face our fears, and try new things. Thats what I like about Eleanor Roosevelt. What I've read about her, it seems as if she was a shy girl, but as she got older, she wanted to learn as much as she could and do new things and stop being afraid of things. Basically she lived her life.

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May 10, 2012 Taymara Jagmohan rated it 5 of 5 stars

Now now. This is a very beautiful and mind-setting book. I totally swirled inside all of its words, and I admired every little notion she described. She spoke directly to the levels of my intellect, and evenly multiplied it. It's just wonderful. "To leave the world richer is ultimate success", and I believed that's just what I will strive for.
Thank you so much, and everyone should have a little sneak peek into this one.

Taymara.

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May 02, 2010 ~mad added it

I am not a history buff but I have all these biographies from my mother's collection so I picked one. This is a very interesting informative book - I learned quite a lot about the late 1880's until Eleanor died in the 60's. It dragged in the end - yet another political convention and anaysis of that. But I highly recommend for learning more about another time in our country. Life was so different! Give it a try! Seriously.....

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Jan 01, 2013 Mary rated it 5 of 5 stars

The sage advice of Eleanor Roosevelt makes this book so worth the read. I would recommend it to anyone young or old who is interested in the wisdom she offers on eleven important area of life such as dealing with fear, maturity, readjustments in life, responsibility, being a good citizen and more.
For someone born after Eleanor Roosevelt's time, the book gave me wonderful insight into her beliefs and character, as well as her life. Written in 1960, just two years before she passed away, it is de...more

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Feb 11, 2010 Sarah rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: autobiography-biography, self-help

This book had a lot of insights that overlapped with more recent advice/psychology books I've read, such as Gordon Livingston's Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart. It talkes about integrity, determination, and taking responsibility for yourself, and is remarkably currently for a book written in 1960 by someone born in 1884. I enjoyed the stories about her childhood and her husband, FDR.

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Oct 11, 2011 Patricia marked it as to-read

Shelves: didn-t-read, maybe-later

Eleanor Roosevelt has a very chatty writing style that I found enjoyable to read. However, I wasn't so much into self improvement when I was reading the book, and did not make much progress. I was not able to renew it, so back it went. I might pick it up again later when improvement to self is a more interesting idea.

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Feb 25, 2013 Christina Berg rated it 4 of 5 stars

Loved reading her views of leadership and true 'living' from the perspective of an elevated platform. As first lady, she held a tremendous amount of responsibility and accountability, and as a woman, she balanced her range of expectations from the public with admirable poise, hard work and wisdom.

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May 12, 2012 Sharon rated it 5 of 5 stars

Still relevant. Roosevelt draws on life experiences from all stages of her life to describe the skills necessary to accomplish great things in life. If you're looking for a book to help you make a difference in this world, start here.

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Jan 02, 2013 Kelli Holgate rated it 4 of 5 stars

Great book written at a different time in history but so relevant to today. There was only one part of her message that I thought would offend the women of today, but you will have to read it and see what you think.

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Sep 27, 2012 Laura K rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorites

Eleanor Roosevelt has always been one of my heros. This book was written in 1960 but is as relevant today as when it was first written. This is one book that I will keep on my bookshelf and re-read several times.

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Dec 13, 2010 Kelli rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

The overtones of her political progressiveness were a bit hard to swallow. But that being said, it wasn't a complete waste of time. I appreciated the fact that she faced her many fears and conquered them.

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Sep 15, 2011 Carson rated it 5 of 5 stars

I am so enjoying this wonderful book and don't know how I didn't know of it before now. A great gift for college/high school grads, but I'm finding it very applicable to my own life right now.

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Aug 01, 2011 Adele Bonnie rated it 4 of 5 stars

I read this book last summer and frequently take it down from my shelf to look again at some bit of wisdom from ER. I've been inspired to read a biography of their marriage. should be fascinating!

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Apr 17, 2013 Heidi rated it 5 of 5 stars

absolutely loved this. she offers words to live by beyond measure. other reviews state my sentiments exactly. this is one to own, to share, and to read often!

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Mar 27, 2010 Kirstin rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

From an academic standpoint I would give this book a 3 stars. She is constantly stating her opinion as absolute statements--some of which I didn't entirely agree. She doesn't defend her opinions and sentiments very well sometimes and for that I just thought the academic aspects of the book were "okay".

From a personal standpoint, I thought the book was a 5 stars. Perhaps because the book is a little outdated, I felt like I was reading counsel from my grandmother. She is a moral person and speaks...more

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Nov 19, 2012 Sarah marked it as to-read

Reviewed this week in Brain Pickings:

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.ph...

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Feb 16, 2013 Sandy rated it 4 of 5 stars

Eleanor Roosevelt is one of my heroes and I thoroughly enjoyed reading her 11 recommendations for living a fulfilling life. Nothing really new or earth shattering here, but a concise compilation of good advice.

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Feb 01, 2013 Izabela Zalas rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: biographies, spiritual

I was delighted reading You Learn By Living . The First Lady answered many questions people asked her what she learned by living. The title of the book is essential. We all learn from our own experience. I admire this great mature and spiritual woman.

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Oct 18, 2011 Gibselle rated it 4 of 5 stars

I think this might be the best "self-help" book I have ever read. Wonderful as both history and good advice that stands the test of time.

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Oct 17, 2010 Debby rated it 3 of 5 stars

Read this off and on for several years, so don't have good overall recollection, but I really admire her and her lessons are good ones.

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Nov 28, 2008 Danica rated it 5 of 5 stars

A book to keep by your bedside and read a page or two before you go to sleep.
Inspirational, keeping us on the right path

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Dec 05, 2012 Carol rated it 4 of 5 stars

Wonderful book, very smartly written and still currently relavent considering the generational difference.

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Nov 12, 2011 Susan Kosel rated it 4 of 5 stars

I always admired Eleanor Roosevelt. She is able to write clearly and to the point. Very good read.

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Dec 09, 2008 Kathy rated it 5 of 5 stars

This was a really good book. It talked about how we are constantly learning as we go through life.

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Anna Eleanor Roosevelt was an American political leader who used her influence as an active First Lady from 1933 to 1945 to promote the New Deal policies of her husband, President Franklin D. Roosevelt, as well as taking a prominent role as an advocate for civil rights. After her husband's death in 1945, she continued to be an internationally prominent author and speaker for the New Deal coalition...more

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“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” — 4,805 people liked it

“It's your life-but only if you make it so.” — 200 people liked it

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