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Boys Adrift

4.12 of 5 stars 4.12 · rating details · 1,555 ratings · 502 reviews

Something scary is happening to boys today. From kindergarten to college, American boys are, on average, less resilient and less ambitious than they were a mere twenty years ago. The gender gap in college attendance and graduation rates has widened dramatically. While Emily is working hard at school and getting A’s, her brother Justin is goofing off. He’s more concerned ab

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Published October 1st 2009 by Basic Books (first published February 15th 2005)

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Apr 30, 2009 Debbie rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: all parents of boys

Shelves: parenting

I started reading this book after hearing about it from a mom of a teenage boy. Her son is a good kid: good student, practices his faith, athletic, mannerly, but she saw warning signs of how easily good kids can go astray when they don’t have someone to help guide them. If she was concerned about her son, I figured I ought to be concerned about mine, since I have five, and three of them still have many years before they enter the turbulent teens. Best to be prepared.

It didn’t take like before I...more

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Apr 11, 2008 Marianneosharp added it · review of another edition

So, before I forget all that I've learned I need to share. I read this book after Allison told me she was reading it and have now recommended it STRONGLY to many of my friends. It's a pretty quick read and makes you aware of big issues that every parent of boys should educate themselves on. These are a few of the resolutions I've made after having read this book.

First of all, I will be aware that the public school system is "feminized". Sax, the author, says it would help parents and teachers al...more So, before I forget all that I've learned I need to share. I read this book after Allison told me she was reading it and have now recommended it STRONGLY to many of my friends. It's a pretty quick read and makes you aware of big issues that every parent of boys should educate themselves on. These are a few of the resolutions I've made after having read this book.

First of all, I will be aware that the public school system is "feminized". Sax, the author, says it would help parents and teachers alike to be more conscious of how to keep boys attention as they learn. I've decided for sure that I want to hold Jack back a year (his b-day's in Aug) so he'll be the oldest rather than the youngest in his grade. This was my original plan but now I feel even more strongly about it. Sax says that what was once 1st grade education is now kindergarten.

Next, I will be more okay with the fact that boys are "wiggly". Okay, that sounds silly but the fact is that many boys are misdiagnosed with ADHD when the reality is that they have energy that needs to find some good outlets. I already have issues with the fact that school is too long and recess is too short....whatever I can do to compensate for that I will do.

Next, I will never microwave plastics. I'm more aware, in every part of our home, of possible "endocrine disruptors". Okay, I admit that this is the sketchy part that you can take too far.....but I really believe that we're surrounded daily by pollutants that can mess up our bodies, and kids are more vulnerable. I think that when they're easy changes like cleaning with natural products (like vinegar) or buying more glass and less plastic, then there's no excuse for me to not be doing it. Sax talks about these different elements that trully are effecting boys and their motivation in life.

Next, and this is the one I think will be hard, I will try to not let my boys become addicted to video games. They haven't got there yet, which I'm grateful for, and I have no idea how I will do this but I'll figure it our when I get there.

There's some parts of the book that left me frustrated. Sax says that all-boy schools are the way to go. Unfortunately, that's not an option here and I'm not motivated enough to start one up. He mentions some fabulous school in which the boys have fabulous male teachers and the boys all end up being.....well......fabulous. That would be great if we could go to that school but I'm not ready to pick up and move to Virginia or wherever the heck it was to give my boys the perfect education. He made some great suggestions about how to better the education for boys but it would take a serious overhall. He didn't mention this but I kept thinking I should just home school my kids so I could dictate the way that everything was taught. Who knows....... (Britt would never go for that....well maybe there's a small chance......the tiniest ever.)

Sax also spoke about the role models boys have in pop culture. That part scares me to death and I'm even more afraid about where it will be in 10 years when they're in High school. He also spoke a bit about how many cultures have a "right of passage" boys go through that makes them a man, no longer a boy. I kept thinking about the mormon "culture" and how a mission can really make a boy a man. He said that using your strength to serve others is the definition of manhood. I loved that part. I'm so grateful my boys have a great dad to look to as a role model.

Anyway, such a good book. This guy has plenty of experience and all the right credentials to be talking about these issues. Here's the website: http://www.boysadrift.com/ This is interesting too:http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134... If you read it let me know what yout think!(less)

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Jul 01, 2012 Michelle rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Dr. Sax outlines in detail five factors that he claims are responsible for disengaging boys from school, life, and the real world of striving and achievement and loss. The five factors are 1) the feminization of the public school system, 2) video games, 3) medications for ADHD, 4) endocrine disruptors, and 5) the complex issues surrounding the transition from childhood to adulthood when so many positive role models for boys have been lost.

This was a fascinating book to read even if you don't en...more

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Mar 19, 2008 Nomi rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: nonfiction

Sax, an M.D. and PHD in psychology addresses the very real problem of boys and their underachievement. In a well-researched highly readable format Sax makes the case that video games (according to brain scans they can cause promote overaggression adn laziness in certain regions of the brain besides causing the usual disengagement from reality), recent teaching methods (teaching children to read and write too soon-especially boys who lag behind girls in this area anyway-, not enough competitivene...more

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Dec 30, 2012 Patrick rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: borrowing

Absolutely fascinating book on the development of boys in this country, their lack of motivation, and why boys are not becoming men. I highly recommend that any man read this book, especially if he has a son.

As a Christian, the ultimate priority is that our boys learn to be like Christ. This is a secular book that will not teach one how to do that. However, this book looks at many issues that are affecting boys in the church, and addresses those accurately for the most part.

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Nov 09, 2007 Kat Hardy rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: parents/teachers/educators/therapists who work with boys

This book focuses on the kind of guy who is living in his parents' basement at the age of 30, working part-time for Dominos and perfectly content for life to contine just like that. There are five factors that the author names that contribute to this phenomenon - some of which we can influence and some of which are so pervasive in our culture there's a tough battle to make any change. I really had my eyes opened and I want anyone who works with boys - especially in the schools - to read this boo...more

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Dec 20, 2008 Maribel rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This is the best explanation of the growing phenomenon of "man-boy" I have read. It's alarming what are society is encouraging that creates this serious epidemic of boys that never grow up into men.

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Jan 13, 2009 Marcus rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: family-relationships

Wow! If you have a young boy you owe it to them to read this book. I am amazed how much has changed since I grew up in the late 1970' and early 1980's. Author describes how factors such as 1). Changes in school curriculum 2). ADHD medicine 3). Video games 4). lack of male role models & 5). Estrogen products in the environment combine to drive boys to "check out" from the real world and kill their motivation. I certainly would have been diagnosed with Attention Deficeit Disorder if I was grow...more

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Apr 06, 2013 Ed rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2013

A fascinating book that I would recommend to anyone, especially those who are parents to boys or teachers of boys. I read this book partly because I wondered if it could explain my weak motivation. It didn't, but it was fascinating nonetheless and I'm glad that I read it. I have previously entertained worries about the state of men starting in my generation and continuing on, seeing such a stratospheric rise in pornography, video game usage and lack of success and engagement within the education...more A fascinating book that I would recommend to anyone, especially those who are parents to boys or teachers of boys. I read this book partly because I wondered if it could explain my weak motivation. It didn't, but it was fascinating nonetheless and I'm glad that I read it. I have previously entertained worries about the state of men starting in my generation and continuing on, seeing such a stratospheric rise in pornography, video game usage and lack of success and engagement within the educational system. This book lends credence to my fears. (Perhaps my five stars comes as much from having a book validate my preconceived thoughts as anything else!)

The book named five things that are problems for the way boys are raised: Changes in the educational system, video games, ADHD medication, endocrine disrupters, and a lack of positive, masculine role models. It reads like a list of the most common complaints among culture naysayers, but the book doesn't read like modish fear-mongering. Each of the problems are backed by peer review research as well as anecdotes from author Leonard Sax's personal experience as a physician and psychologist. I don't think it can be written off just because the complaints are trendy.

The part that I found the most interesting was the end where it spoke about the dearth of masculine role models and guidance into become a man. I have encountered this to some extent myself with a feeling like I have never really arrived at legitimate adulthood because there is no contemporary definition of manhood that I can measure myself against. Without a wife, kids, mortgage or long term career how can I be confident that I am in fact a man? My age doesn't automatically qualify me, or at least that's what my heart tells me.

If Sax is correct, as I believe he is, this is a real problem that threatens both sexes because already women are finding it difficult to meet responsible men to date and marry, and men are being left behind without the skills or motivation to contribute to society. Once again, I would recommend this book to all parents of boys. (less)

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Oct 27, 2012 Laura rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Quite possibly one of the worst "non fiction " books I've picked up in a long long time. His hypothesis is there are 5 factors driving the lack of ambition in boys. The chapter on ADHD medication made my blood boil. He says meds are one of the five factors yet less than 10% of children are medicated for ADHD? This makes NO SENSE.

I looked at his footnotes and many are NON peer reviewed links to his own articles. Absolutely zero research to support his theories. Further he mentions the increase in...more

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Oct 25, 2012 Josh Morris rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

In Boys Adrift, Leonard Sax seeks to address an undeniable phenomenon in our culture: the widespread lack of motivation and underachievement of young men. What’s really new about the situation, Sax argues, is "the young man isn’t bothered by his situation." Another worrying change is that today’s boys are not motivated to succeed in any area. He argues, it’s not just school, but also career, relationships, or other real-world schemes. They are content to live at home indefinitely, fool around, r...more

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Oct 17, 2012 Walt rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

With the name Eddy, perhaps you can imagine why I got interested in being adrift. You know, swirling around, unanchored, etc.

Anyway, I read BOYS ADRIFT recently, after my brother-in-law finished it. He seemed to like it, thought it had direct application.

My boys are grown up and men now. That doesn't necessarily mean they're totally moored, but it does mean the responsibility, even any deleterious consequences to themselves and others therefrom if they're not, has more or less shifted entirely...more

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Jun 25, 2012 Sanz rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Likely the best parenting book I've ever read and a must read for anyone with sons. I highlighted like crazy in this book. The author sites 5 factors that are driving the decline of boys:

1. Video Games: Research on video games suggests that games stimulate a part of the brain called the nucleus accumbens in much the same way that crack cocaine affects the same area. The author also claims that in his experience, boys who are addicted to video games are also more likely to become addicted to porn...more Likely the best parenting book I've ever read and a must read for anyone with sons. I highlighted like crazy in this book. The author sites 5 factors that are driving the decline of boys:

1. Video Games: Research on video games suggests that games stimulate a part of the brain called the nucleus accumbens in much the same way that crack cocaine affects the same area. The author also claims that in his experience, boys who are addicted to video games are also more likely to become addicted to pornography. Video games also affect the brain in children in much the same way that medications like Ritalin and Adderall and Conerta do.

2. Teaching Methods: Kindergarten currently is what 1st grade was 30 years ago. Sax claims that the rigourous curriculum of kindergarten is not beneficial for boys. Sax also refers to real life experience and book learning and how book learning is much more valued in public schools than learning that happens from real life experience. He references all-boy schools where sitting is optional and boys are allowed to sit on the floor, in a chair or to stand. The elimination of competition and the philosophy that "everyone is a winner" is also detrimental to boys who thrive on any type of competition. Sax also writes about schools in Europe that have "nature kindergarten." It is for pre-K to 2nd grade students and is held outdoors every single day. He suggests the U.S. take a look at what is going on in Europe.

3. Prescription Drugs: Boys in 2007 are thirty time more likely to be taking medications for ADHD compared with boys in 1987. Sax says boys are being medicated to fit the boy to the school and believes that we should not medicate boys to fit the school, we should change the school to fit the boy.

4. Endocrine Disruptors: Endocrine disruptors are substances that mimic the actions of hormones, specifically female hormones. Teenagers today are 4 times more likely to be obese and overweight compared to teenagers in the 1960s. Exposure to bispenol A (bpA in plastic) is associated with obesity. BPA in lab animals led to males becoming less masculine. Male fish have even been found with eggs as a result of exposure to BPA. There is evidence that exposure to synthetic chemicals may disrupt or slow puberty in boys as well as reduce sperm count

5. Devaluation of Masculinity: "Shifts in popular culture have transformed the role models of manhood. Forty years ago we had Father Knows Best, today we have Homer Simpson." Boys need positive role models. "A boy does not naturally become a gentleman--by which I mean a man who is courteous and kind ad unselfish. That behavior is not hardwired. It has to be taught." (less)

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Nov 12, 2011 Ellisa Barr rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction, read-2011, self-improvement

This was an interesting book I'd recommend to anyone raising a son. Although you might not agree with everything the author says, it will make you think.

Basically, Dr. Sax explains what he thinks are the reasons so many boys are less motivated and apathetic. Other reviewers here give a good list of these so I won't go into them too much. But he says boys are over-medicated, under-physical, affected by chemicals all around us - particularly in plastics, they play too many video games, and there d...more

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Nov 05, 2010 Jocie rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Coed education, video games, ritalin, toxins, no role models- oh my!

Trying to raise young MEN in our current culture? What makes a real man? NOT someone who is still living off of his parents of wife so he can lounge around, it seems most people are in agreement upon that... The IQ of young men has been dropping since the 90's, while 'failure to launch' has doubled. Why?

This book gives a lot of food for thought, and is research-based. I am not convinced about the toxins yet (maybe I don't know w...more

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Jun 05, 2010 Deanna rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: family-life

This is a good one. It came highly recommended (on TJED muse?-I can't remember now!) and was well worth the read. If you have a boy and you can get it from the library I recommend that you at least skim it.

Many of the ideas presented were not new by any means, but I appreciated the author's style and found myself engrossed in his message and thoughts.

I believe he identified key reasons for the lack-luster male in today's society and he then presented ways to fix the epidemic. I'm not generally...more

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Dec 07, 2009 Kat rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This was recommended by a friend and I thought it was excellent food for thought. The author is both a family physician and a psychologist and has been devoting his life to studying gender differences, etc. His first book "Why Gender Matters" is not in any Library in Lubbock (strangely enough, not even at Tech), and deals with boys and girls. This one obviously deals with boys issues, namely: I. the problems with the US educational system in dealing with boys, II. over diagnoses of ADHD and asso...more

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Nov 17, 2009 Peter rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Many sections of this book were quite interesting. I categorically disagree with Sax's condemnation of video game playing, especially violent ones. I say that as someone who has never been much of a gamer.

I think the problems with video games are closely linked to the problems with general consumerism in American culture. The satisfactions derived are neither hard-earned nor long-lasting. They are a form of mental masturbation that very rarely involves critical thinking. That being said, I don't...more

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Nov 07, 2009 Gloria rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This book, borrowed from the library, was recommended via a GT list-serv. I did breeze through it, fyi.

Found the first half perhaps most interesting, particular the chapter that introduced, or re-introduced to me Nietzsche's notion of "will to power". Also appreciated Sax's detailed discussion (both regarding the etymology and comparison of definitions) regarding the word "know". I do agree with him on that point.

I had to remember that Sax's does embrace, or at least gloss into, an essentialist...more

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Oct 14, 2009 Rachelterry rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: parenting

Excellent book! Dr. Sax makes a well-documented case for his 5-pronged theory of why modern American boys seem so unmotivated. I found some of his reasons surprising, but after reading his reasoning, they make sense. I was a little skeptical of the phthalates connection, but after doing a little outside research, it seems that he's spot on.

The writing is fluid and conversational, and I like his writing voice because it's fair and measured. My only complaint about this book is that I wish he woul...more

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Aug 11, 2009 Elevate Difference rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Most of the attention Dr. Leonard Sax gets is for his advocacy of single sex education for boys. In his first book, Why Gender Matters: What Parents and Teachers Need to Know about the Emerging Science of Sex Differences, Sax described the developmental and biological differences between the sexes and how contemporary early education puts boys at a disadvantage. In his follow up, Boys Adrift: The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men, Sax elab...more Most of the attention Dr. Leonard Sax gets is for his advocacy of single sex education for boys. In his first book, Why Gender Matters: What Parents and Teachers Need to Know about the Emerging Science of Sex Differences, Sax described the developmental and biological differences between the sexes and how contemporary early education puts boys at a disadvantage. In his follow up, Boys Adrift: The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men, Sax elaborates on the modern crisis of maleness.

Sax is interested in boys, and tends to ignore females except as counter-examples, which is fine because one cannot be all things to all people. Sax also, in spite of himself, writes about a certain class of white affluent suburban boys. He tries to allay critics on both of these counts, with sometimes hilarious results. In explaining how inclusive his work is of all cultures, Sax offers this compelling example:

“Emily (or Maria or Shaniqua) goes to college...Justin (or Carlos or Damian) may go to college...”

I am still laughing. Maria, Shaniqua, Carlos, and Damian? Are we seriously playing a "Let’s think of Black- and Latino-sounding names" game? At least Sax is trying to fill the ethnic diversity requirement, even if he has a clunky way of showing it.

Regardless, the focus of Boys Adrift is the plight of affluent white boys living in American suburbs with a few generations of American living (read: consumerism and apathy?) pumping through their veins. “Damian” is actually not his concern. But whomever he is speaking about, Boys Adrift was written from Sax to parents.

From a hyper-academic kindergarten curriculum that favors females, to phlalates that leach into your Dr. Pepper and stunt mental development, Sax covers the basics of what we're talking about when we're talking about the modern crisis of manhood. He identified this crisis of boys as a “failure to launch,” an epidemic of fat, Halo-playing man-children who don't understand why everyone keeps telling them that they should move out of their parents house.

Gender issues aside, Boys Adrift would interest anyone seeking a comprehensive history of Attention Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder and its treatments and the various, terrifying ways that environmental estrogen has infiltrated our bodies, wreaking physiological (early puberty in females) and societal (sexually mature girls in school alongside their prepubescent male peers) havoc on post-baby-boom generations.

The educational problems that Sax describes are applicable to kids of all kinds (even, dare I imagine, Shaniqua), and it's a little annoying to see them attributed to gender difference. Pegging problems like a struggle to pay attention and a failure to get decent grades to a condition of maleness might feel good to parents of a struggling boy, but to a female who failed similarly, it seems wholly unhelpful if not insulting.

There is a lot here, and Sax's work will comfort many parents, but the work is not without some contradictions. Early on in the narrative we learn that modern American schooling is not conducive to male brain and body development—it does not play to their strengths or their timetable. Later, Sax cites a statistically notable decline in boys’ intellect since the 1990s. The statistics rely on grades given in school. But if school works against boys, then their grades in school are not a fair or accurate measures of their intellect, so what use are they?

Recommended for those curious about education, gender, boys, men, and environmental estrogen.

Review by Ann Raber(less)

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May 25, 2012 Susan Visser rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: audible

This is a book that just about everyone should read. I know that every generation has complained about the younger generation since time began, but do we really understand what some of our cultural and environmental changes are doing to the younger generation? I didn't understand till I read this very convincing book.

The book focuses on unmotivated boys and the reasons behind this very scary trend. Actually, many of the boys affected are now adults and you may know some underachievers, slackers,...more

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Jul 23, 2011 David rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2011

Eye-opening! I read this book because it was one of the few titles that popped up on a library catalog for "underachieving", something I've felt a struggle with most of my life. As it turns out, there are new generations of boys and young men with this growing problem, and a heck of a lot more extreme than my case. Dr. Leonard Sax has presented a compelling case of how changes in education philosophy, irresponsible pediatricians, increasing lack of role models, abuse of video games and environme...more

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Apr 13, 2013 Kelly rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This was not my one of traditional fictional fluffy books. It wasn't at all funny, and at many moments, a down-right downer. That said, it changed the way that I am raising our son. Boys Adrift articulates the growing trend of unmotivated boys who have a "failure to launch" and who are (for lack of a better term) growing emasculated by a culture of gender neutrality. Dr. Sax strikes the right balance of explaining typical gender differences that are leading to this epidemic while holding a stron...more

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Feb 13, 2010 Leslie North rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Wow is all I can say. An eye opener for those raising boys! Even if I had no belief in the "faith" part of the LDS church (which I do wholeheartedly) I am so so so grateful for the programs that are so helpful to boys and men - that this book validates. Boys only stuff like YM and scouts. Men only stuff like the "male" priesthood and the focus on young men going on missions. These are one of the factors listed in this book of why there are so many "failures to launch."

I haven't been offended by...more

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Aug 27, 2011 Randomweights rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Sax attributes the growing epidemic of boys delaying or deferring the transition to adult hood, or (worse) shirking their responsibilities as a man to 5 factors - 1) Current education models/paradigms 2) Video games 3) Misdiagnosis and over prescription of ADD and prescription meds 4) Endocrine disruptors found in environmental toxins 5) Lack of good male role models and devaluation of masculinity. These factors might sound generalistic or simplified, but Sax uses a lot of research and anecdotal...more

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Oct 29, 2007 Judithlewis rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Parents, teachers, any interested

Really intriguing book, with data to support author's ideas about underachieving boys. While I am not entirely convinced all the way on all his points, there certainly is a lot of common sense in his ideas as well as ideas to consider. He is, in general, a fan of single-sex education (see his previous book) and I am beginning to see more and more how his ideas in both books could apply (my son just entered middle school). Definitely worth a read.

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Jan 05, 2013 Cathy rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Recommended to Cathy by: Cherie

Shelves: adult, educational, informational

I highly recommend this book!! Dr. Sax has some amazing insight which is backed up with plenty of research and personal observations as a research psychologist. Anyone who works with youth, in schools, has boys, or is scratching their head trying to figure out what is going on in America with our youth should read this book. Just so intriguing!

Something scary is happening to boys today. From kindergarten to college, they are less resilient and less ambitious than they were a mere twenty years ag...more

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May 22, 2012 Mmtimes4 rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Something scary is happening to boys today. From kindergarten to college, they are less resilient and less ambitious than they were a mere twenty years ago. As for young men, it turns out the film Failure to Launch is not far from the truth. Fully one-third of men ages 22-34 are still living at home with their parents-about a 100 percent increase in the past twenty years. Boys nationwide are increasingly dropping out of school; fewer are going to college; and for the first time in American histo...more

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Mar 03, 2013 Hao Guang rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Leonard Sax may not please either the radical constructivists or the radical essentialists, but his assertion, one that underlies everything he says in this book, seems to hold true: that boys and girls are equal, but different. He lays out 5 factors that in his view contribute to the trend of the 'unmotivated male' (the slacker who fails at life or worse): feminization of education, video games, ADHD medication, compounds in plastics, and the lack of appropriate role models. I contend that this...more

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About Leonard Sax

Leonard Sax is an American psychologist and family physician. He is the author of Why Gender Matters (Doubleday, 2005) and of Boys Adrift: the five factors driving the growing epidemic of unmotivated boys and underachieving young men (Basic Books, 2007). He is founder and executive director of the National Association for Single Sex Public Education (www.singlesexschools.org).

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More about Leonard Sax...

Books by Leonard Sax

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“The destructive effects of video games are not on boys' cognitive abilities or their reaction times, but on there motivation and their connectedness with the real world.” — 3 people liked it

“If we fail to provide boys with pro-social models of the transition to adulthood, they may construct their own. In some cases, gang initiation rituals, street racing, and random violence may be the result.” — 2 people liked it

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