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On the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of 'Straight' Black Men Who Sleep with Men
A bold exposé of the controversial secret that has potentially dire consequences in many African American communities
Delivering the first frank and thorough investigation of life “on the down low” (the DL), J. L. King exposes a closeted culture of sex between black men who lead “straight” lives. King explores his own past as a DL man, and the path that led him to let go of...more
Delivering the first frank and thorough investigation of life “on the down low” (the DL), J. L. King exposes a closeted culture of sex between black men who lead “straight” lives. King explores his own past as a DL man, and the path that led him to let go of...more
Paperback, 208 pages
Published
December 18th 2007
by Harlem Moon
(first published April 14th 2004)
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J.L. King is speaking out trying to prevent HIV disease, which I applaud. He feels that the main reason behind HIV infection, is down low men having unprotected sex with other men and then in turn going back to their wife and having sex with her. I enjoyed this book because it had a good message/ motive behind it. I personally believe the fact that he has sex with other men and does not consider himself gay is crazy. On the other hand, I do understand people's reasoning for not wanting to come o...more
This book has some potentially impotant information in it. But I found it to be a cheap book with a lot of generalizations and denials. The author was a DL brother, but he has changed his ways. He doesn't really elaborate on his life now, but he really seemed to have a lot of internalized homophobia and self-hatred. Instead of really delving into his own life experiences, beyond a cursory discussion of how he ruined his family's life, he gives us short discussions of other people's DL experience...more
This book would be a helluva lot shorter if the author took out all the denials about being gay. Dude, you're gay. Accept it. A lot of us have!
As much as I like to read, I found this particular book hard to get through. It wasn't boring at all. However, I found it to be troubling. Our brothers need to be more open about who they are (Bi-Sexual, Homosexual, Heterosexual) with the sistah's. Truth be told, we are always the last to know and have to suffer the most from their indiscretions. Now, my reason for not being able to finish the book: it's down-right sickening and disturbing, yet informative. To know that there are signs that they...more
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I saw this guy on Oprah years ago, so when I saw this book at the library I decided to see what he had to say. I had the impression during the interview that he was 1. a bit full of himself and 2. a bit in denial. I had those same impressions reading this book. It seems that he realizes a bit of that between this and his next book.
I think he has an important health message to deliver, but he gets too bogged down in protecting his own reputation and that of his fellow DL "brothers."...more
I think he has an important health message to deliver, but he gets too bogged down in protecting his own reputation and that of his fellow DL "brothers."...more
Kimberly
rated it
·
review of another edition
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
No one
Recommended to Kimberly by:
Saw him on Oprah
Based on this book, J.L. King wanted the cake, the icing, the glass of milk, and to eat and drink them all. I find this book to be full of excuses for a man to play both sides (in this case, his unsuspecting wife and his play-friends).
If someone chooses to be down-low, low-down, gay, bi-sexual, or anything else that could cause major issues in a relationship, be an adult and bring it up with the person you say you care about. That would stop all the pretense and fear of being cau...more
If someone chooses to be down-low, low-down, gay, bi-sexual, or anything else that could cause major issues in a relationship, be an adult and bring it up with the person you say you care about. That would stop all the pretense and fear of being cau...more
I wanted to know what was the DL. I hear that some men who are DL are gay men trying to live lives as if they are straight men since it will not accepted in society, in their families, or for religious beliefs. It seems hard to believe based on his title that straight men will sleep with me, I think it is that they have gay insincts and try to live a normal life as pretending to be straight and finally venture out.
Also, used the book for research purposes for one of my upcoming books...more
Also, used the book for research purposes for one of my upcoming books...more
Hate hate hate this book. The reason why I read this book is that the author was scheduled as a guest speaker on a cruise I was going on. The book did not impress me. It seemed to me that the only reason he came out was that he was caught and that he was still in denial about who he is. After listening to him, I still hate this book. He did made some very good points on the subject of AIDS and HIV. It is great that he open some women eyes to the whole DL thing however, his denial of whom and...more
This book was ~awful. I absolutely love the topic: self-identified straight black men that sleep with other men on the side. I initially heard about it from my mom, and then my friend recommended this book. I think it’s really interesting in terms of the macho culture and the fact that they refuse to consider themselves bi or gay. After reading this book, I unfortunately know nothing more about the topic.
The problem is that people with interesting life tales can’t just go forth and ...more
The problem is that people with interesting life tales can’t just go forth and ...more
Wow, I first learned of this book on Oprah a few years ago, and he was telling her his story and I couldn't wait to go to Barnes & Noble to get, and when I did, I read it in one day. This book was a real eye-opener about some men. It was pretty damn scary too. I advise all women to read this book. Mr. King's wife wrote her own book, but I never got around to reading hers. I'll have to check it out!
Fredericka
rated it
·
review of another edition
·
review of another edition
Recommended to Fredericka by:
threegirlsstl@hotmail.com
Well, well, I can honestly say that I learned alot from reading this book, it showed me alot of things I had no knowledge of, it helped me to determine what I need to look for when dating someone new. Needless to say most brothers called this author a "player hater" but I considered him a "wake up call"
This was an interesting book and definitely an eye opener to a sad reality. J. L. King boldly exposes himself and the world that is on the "down low." It was mostly based on his personal experiences and seemed like an attempt to apologize to his ex-wife for living a life that was basically a lie.
My only hope for this book is that it bring to light what so many of us sisters who feel we are unworthy of true and real love, to ask questions and really, truly want the answers we seek. Well written and I applaud the brother for exposing the truth.
Very interesting! I was not aware of this subculture until this book brought it to my attention. I think is not good that those who engage in this activity can't be themselves in our society because they usually end up hurting someone else.
This book blew me away!!!!!!
I'm not against gay relationships but was overthrown
by the game these men play with life and other people.
I'm not against gay relationships but was overthrown
by the game these men play with life and other people.
This book was gross! Why doesn't he just admit he was gay??, Nasty mofo.. book would have been alot shorter if he'd stop fucking around and just stay with man.. from fucing dudes in their ass and going home to his wife!? CRAP
but.. i learnt alot :) COOL BOOK
but.. i learnt alot :) COOL BOOK
Find this secret world intersting, that so many men lives like this. Very easy read and quick read.
I must say the book was an eye opener and you can't believe some of the stuff that is included, or you just don't want to. I think the author is genuine in telling his story, but I also think he wanted to use this situation to catapult him to the forefront.
Not trying to be overly, judgmental, but I personally think he wants to be seen as the martyr since he was in the position of loving men and loving his wife and children. He was really the one hurting! It's just that in some c...more
Not trying to be overly, judgmental, but I personally think he wants to be seen as the martyr since he was in the position of loving men and loving his wife and children. He was really the one hurting! It's just that in some c...more
Dionisia
rated it
·
review of another edition
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
any woman who is unfamiliar with the "phenomenom" of DL men
Recommended to Dionisia by:
Papa
Shelves:
memoir,
nonfiction
This topic is worth reading about, but I can't pretend that the writing is top notch.
An interesting way to justify his behaviour. Some serious denial going on here.
I was not moved by this book. He should have been man enough to face his true self.
This book is interesting and scary. I think its important women read this book.
it makes you think even though he said you should label but girl
This Book Very Interesting...Its a Need 2 read book
I actually went to a reading for this author where I asked him about his careless behavior and how the HIV/AIDS epidemic is spreading throughout the black community because of men, such as himself, who are troubled by society's views on sexual preference and therefore live their lives on the "down low". Meeting him confirmed my previous beliefs of his arrogant and selfish behavior based on what I read in his book. A very sensitive, but important topic that needs to be discussed within ...more
loved it was my first lgbt book loooooooooved it
Pure & Utter crap! I don't understand which I'm more upset with, the hype, intrigue and supposed phenomena attached to the DL or people's belief that J.L. King is a writer, critic, or social commentator. He lacks the savvy skill-set to utilize a platform to discuss a real issue. He's horrible. The book is short, written in big print, speaks nothing relevant of the supposed DL phenomena it simply and badly tells his life story. He perpetuates the distrust of Black men by both society and more im...more
I read this book, it makes you think.
Shocking! Makes you suspicious of everyone you encounter after reading it. The people he talks about being on the DL are prominent people in society-- lawyers, ministers, artists, fathers, husbands, boyfriends, homophobes. It's ridiculous. Nothing against being gay but the double life and deceit is a bit much to handle. You can't help but second guess yourself when seeing any black man on the street whether he is alone, with his wife, his friends, his preacher or his boss. Too bizzare... and a m...more
Very interested but sad
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