Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.
Start by marking “Grown-Up Marriage: What We Know, Wish We Had Known, and Still Need to Know About Being Married” as Want to Read:
Grown-Up Marriage: What We Know, Wish We Had Known, and Still Need to Know About Being Married
Enlarge cover
Rate this book
Clear rating
Open Preview

Grown-Up Marriage: What We Know, Wish We Had Known, and Still Need to Know About Being Married

3.69 of 5 stars 3.69  ·  rating details  ·  105 ratings  ·  28 reviews
Although marriage is for grown-ups, very few of us are grown up when we marry. Here, the bestselling author of Suddenly Sixty and Necessary Losses presents her life-affirming perspective on the joys, heartaches, difficulties, and possibilities of a grown-up marriage -- and no, that's not an oxymoron!
Featuring interviews with married women and men, the findings of couples
...more
ebook, 304 pages
Published June 23rd 2008 by Free Press (first published 2002)
more details... edit details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Reader Q&A

To ask other readers questions about Grown-Up Marriage, please sign up.

Be the first to ask a question about Grown-Up Marriage

This book is not yet featured on Listopia. Add this book to your favorite list »

Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 232)
filter  |  sort: default (?)  |  rating details
Katie
Jan 28, 2008 Katie rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: anyone considering marriage, or already married or in a long-term relationship
My mom gave this book to my husband and me when we were engaged. She thought it was so important and the lessons so valuable that we each got our own copies - and good thing, since I highlighted the heck out of mine! She was right - it is a wonderful book about marriage and relationships, and it's now my go-to gift for all my soon-to-be married friends.
Dolly
Aug 29, 2011 Dolly rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: couples who are married or getting married
After nineteen years of marriage, I'm convinced that we've done something right. But, and this is a big qualifier, I do recognize that a marriage is something that both need to work at, 'til death do us part. When you become complacent and start taking each other for granted, things can start to derail. By reading this and other books about marriage, I hope that I can continue to remind myself of the importance of nurturing our relationship.

This is a quick read (I actually read this over the co
...more
Mary Alice
I've been married 27 years and I'd like to think that my husband and I have an almost grown up marriage. I recognized some things from the early chapters as what was happening to us maybe 15 to 25 years ago. Fortunately, I learned those lessons without the benefits of this book.

Some of the lessons Viorst teaches are obvious. I read the growing old together section with the most interest, but most of those lessons I've already started to think about.

I got the most insights from the middle section
...more
Inder
I wanted to like this book (I admit, because I like the title of this book), but Judith Viorst writes in the strangest way, I found it difficult. She rambles, goes off on tangents, she talks about poetry and literature a lot, and generally loses me. I read the whole book, but now I can't remember anything that it actually said. The title is better than the content - which is a bad sign for a book.
Rebecca Rosenblum
Lots of good simple advice, although a few bits are rather antiquated, and some of the later chapters weren't personally relevant for me--how to deal with retirement and so forth--though interesting to know what's ahead.
Brendygirl
While I agree w other reviewers that some of the notions (especially toward the beginning) are outdated, the author recognizes that, and it's part of her story- to explain thinking from her generation (while acknowledging how times have changed). However, as a divorcee and someone who has subsequently been married over 40 years, as well as having had a couple sets of in-laws and being a mother-in-law and grandparent, she has the experience to give thoughtful advice and perspective from many angl ...more
Joanne
I like Judith Viorst (Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day, Alexander and the Wonderful Marvelous Excellent Terrific Ninety Days), and this book promised an overview of marriage as a cultural phenomenon. It isn't, though. It's a little bit of Viorst commenting on her own marriage and a little bit of her talking with therapists and other couples and a little bit of her reading a lot of books on marriage and a little of her own poetry and stories about marriage. I dipped in and ...more
Virlys
Anyone who is married, might one day be married, is considering marriage, or is engaged to be married ought to relate to the stories, problems, joys, frustrations, and realizations of the real life people who author, Judith Viorst interviewed. This is readable and real with a wonderful balance and breadth of information about marriage and--more importantly--and understanding of what a grown-up marriage is and tools to achieve that optimum state. Besides case studies, Judith Viorst has the creden ...more
Celeste
So far so good, actually... I've read a lot of self-help books, and I like this one because it's pretty real. It doesn't try to pretend that a "happily ever after" marriage is easy...or even truly attainable (even the best marriages have their ups and downs. But I think Viorst does a good job of flagging some common difficult issues that (at least in a young marriage) you might be able to preempt by doing some conscious thinking about your preconceptions regarding the nature of marriage and fami ...more
Gwynn
It's a good book for those about to be married or have difficulties in their marriage. I fit neither of those descriptions but did find the last chapter interesting, growing old together when the kids leave the nest.
Mary
Meh - found a recommendation on a blog I really liked. I guess if I was younger this would be a good revelation for me, but basically it's a long book that says relationships are sometimes hard and people need to be intentional about them. Nothing that rocked my world or challenged my thoughts. Not terrible, just not amazing like I was expecting. I think I was most disappointed because it was all observations but no recommendations for actions.

Cynthia  Scott
I learned a lot from this book by Judith Viorst, who is so well-loved as a chilren's writer. It is full of the wisdom of her many years of marriage and motherhood, and had a lot of surprises. I gained the most for the final chapters on long-term marriages and growing up and older together. It has a lot for all stages of life.
Kirsten Kowalewski
Feb 02, 2008 Kirsten Kowalewski rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Kirsten by: my mother
eh... she has some good stuff to say, but she's not writing for my generation. If young marrieds are her targeted audience, I think she's missing the boat. My mom thought she was right on, though.

Not quite what I expected from the genius behind Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.
Lisa
Jul 13, 2012 Lisa is currently reading it  ·  review of another edition
I received this as a wedding gift, opened it up, and found it to be not a self-help book as a very interesting examination of the reasons why people get married, the benefits of marriage, the unique qualities of marriage compared to other human relationships...I really like this so far.
Clara
Self help and children's books go hand-in-hand (in a good way), so I was interested in this book by the author of "Alexander and the no good very bad horrible decrepid [sic] day." Good book for putting trivial concerns into perspective, not much else.
Jeanne
An interesting book. This isn't a how to ...but a realistic look at what a grown up marriage should look like and the many pitfalls that exist. It really doesn't offer any answers or fixes, but definately gives you food for thought.
Rebekah
I'm with the reviewer who thought the title was promising but was disappointed with the book. Of all the fluffy self-help books I waste my time with, this one's the fluffiest. I don't think she says anything, at all.
Christine Slocum
The writing style is hard to follow. Heavy on fluff, light on content, and a rambling, preachy way of writing which didn't prioritize substance. I wish there was more research and less random, distracting poetry.
Erin
I'm not married (and don't really plan on it), but my mom bought me this because she thought it would be funny, and because I loved Viorst's kid's books when I was little.
Nazish Salahuddin
May 19, 2007 Nazish Salahuddin rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: anyone in a committed relationship
i found it very relevant. normalizes the bumps that come up. gave me a new perspective (i.e., that i'm not right ALL the time) :) well-written, interesting, entertaining.
Kricket
i read this one when we started to talk about becoming engaged. it was interesting and funny if not overly helpful.
Christy
Though not written by a professional, she provided a number of excellent insights and things to think about.
Sue
Made a mistake... wanted to put on to-read. Never let anyone over 65 use this site!!
Sarah
Essays for a married audience. Good writing. Not a self-help book.
Robin
Best book on relationships I have come across. Clear and positive.
Dawn
I did enjoy. Very well written and very informative.
Cathy Hasty
Very fine readable book on marriage.
Stacy M.
Good advice until Viorst talks about cheating like its just one of those things we all do. Put it down shortly after that; don't plan on picking it back up.
Anne Daughtrey
Anne Daughtrey marked it as to-read
May 01, 2015
Serenity Williams
Serenity Williams marked it as to-read
Apr 15, 2015
« previous 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 next »
There are no discussion topics on this book yet. Be the first to start one »
  • Swamplands of the Soul: New Life in Dismal Places (Studies in Jungian Psychology by Jungian Analysts, 73)
  • The Sacred Prostitute: Eternal Aspect of the Feminine (Studies in Jungian Psychology by Jungian Analysts, 32)
  • The Owl Was a Baker's Daughter: Obesity, Anorexia Nervosa, and the Repressed Feminine (Studies in Jungian Psychology By Jungian Analysts, 4)
  • Aging as a Spiritual Practice: A Contemplative Guide to Growing Older and Wiser
  • Conscious Living: Finding Joy in the Real World
  • Awakening the Heroes Within: Twelve Archetypes to Help Us Find Ourselves and Transform Our World
  • Fighting for Your Marriage: Positive Steps for Preventing Divorce and Preserving a Lasting Love
  • Not Quite Nirvana: A Skeptic's Journey to Mindfulness
  • Aion (Collected Works 9ii)
  • The Heroine's Journey: Woman's Quest for Wholeness
  • Surrendering to Marriage
  • The Power of Rest
  • A Pebble for Your Pocket
  • The Dream and the Underworld
  • The Wounded Woman: Healing the Father-Daughter Relationship
  • O: The Intimate History of the Orgasm
  • Maps of Narrative Practice
  • Dating for Dummies
3080
Judith Viorst is the author of several works of fiction and non-fiction for children as well as adults. Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, her most famous children's book, was first published in 1972 and has since sold over two million copies. Ms. Viorst received a B.A. in History from Rutgers University, and she is also a graduate of the Washington Psychoanalytic Institu ...more
More about Judith Viorst...
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day Alexander, Who Used to Be Rich Last Sunday Necessary Losses: The Loves Illusions Dependencies and Impossible Expectations That All of us Have Lulu and the Brontosaurus Alexander, Who's Not (Do You Hear Me? I Mean It!) Going to Move

Share This Book