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Why Men Hate Going to Church
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Why Men Hate Going to Church

3.76 of 5 stars 3.76  ·  rating details  ·  445 ratings  ·  102 reviews
It's Sunday morning. Where are all the men? Golfing? Playing softball? Watching the tube? Mowing the lawn? Sleeping? One place you won't find them is in church. Less than 40 percent of adults in most churches are men, and 20 to 25 percent of married churchgoing women attend without their husbands. And why are the men who do go to church so bored? Why won't they let God cha ...more
ebook, 256 pages
Published March 1st 2005 by Thomas Nelson Publishers
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James
In this updated edition of his 2005 book Why Men Hate Going to Church David Murrow has addressed a real, verifiable problem. Men don’t go to church, at least not in the numbers that women do. Why is this? Are Women more spiritual than men? Less fallen? No, but among the various factors that keep men out of the pews, Murrow finds that the church have soft-pedaled parts of the gospel painting Jesus as the gentle lamb of God without also showing us that He is the Lion of Judah, ferocious and wild. ...more
Daniel Butcher
David Murrow has updated Why Men Hate Going to Church, his renowned book with new information and text previously published by him in other books. Murrow in this text uncovers the gender gap in churches, asking the question where are the men? Murrow shows his readers that today’s churches are dominated numerically by women and that men are largely absent. He explores the culture of the church noting that church vocabulary and words like love and relationship are tied to feminine culture and not ...more
Dave Johnson
WOW. great book! and such an eye-opener. i have to say, i think this book may have shifted my perspective on ministry. in my heart i've known that i would eventually father other men, but this book really pointed that out even more and watered the seed in my heart.

the idea of the book is simple. men hate going to church because church in general is more of a feminine place. if you think about this, i think you'd agree. he has a lot of research to back this up, citing stats of church attendance
...more
Heidi
I think I'm a little unqualified to review this book, but here goes. Author David Murrow asserts that the rapid loss of men in the protestant faith over the last 50 years is due to the unintentional feminization of the church. I would have to say he's probably right - most of the time. From the decor (quilts, doilies, flowers, etc.) to the ministries that thrive (women's events, children's ministries, choir) church is tailor made for females and gives men the impression that they are not needed. ...more
Coyle
Hmm, another book where it's tough to know where to begin. I guess with a summary:
This book is about why men hate going to church. Specifically, it walks through some historical and psychological reasons men don't go to church, and then through some possible solutions.
This book is well written, so it gets three stars (my rock-solid rule of book rating is that if you can string two sentences together in a way that keeps me reading, you get the average- it's a rare enough skill that it ought to b
...more
John
The premise is wrong. Men don't hate going to church. They just don't go. The same goes for women.
Until they know Jesus. When a man comes to know Jesus he will find a church to go to, for all its many flaws. That's where he will come to know Jesus better, so that's where he will want to be.
This is not to say that churches couldn't stand to be more guy-friendly. And the author does have some really good points.
But his writing is repetitive, and it's filled with hyperbole, made-up examples and gen
...more
Janet
David Murrow sets out in his book to explain all the various reasons why men don't like going to church. His ideas are interesting and thought-provoking. But I can't say I agree with everything that he states.

I dislike his stereotyping of men and women. He argues that men like things such as competition, nature, challenges, short sermons, etc. And that women likes things such as security, relationships, emotional worship songs, children, etc. I, for example, don't like the things he considers "f
...more
Bethany

This book would have been intriguing if, instead of a 200-page book, it were a comment in a conversation. The author’s premise that church has evolved into a feminine society, thus making men feel uncomfortable and less interested in attending, is an interesting one.

It seems that he took this, began assuming it was a general rule, and decided to write about it. Then, when he started unearthing facts and actual data, he realized they didn’t quite line up with his premise, so skewed them and publ
...more
Paul Baggaley
In this book David Murrow correctly identifies the problem that most churches are not appealing or comfortable for men. He makes the point that churches that do successfully attract and retain a higher proportion of men are those that are healthy and growing. Murrow posits a number of historical and cultural reasons why this problem exists, and ultimately makes some limited suggestions about what can be done to tweak our churches to make them more man-friendly.

For the most part I agree with his
...more
Peter
Why Men Hate Going to Church

David Murrow
Nelson Books
ISBN 0-7852-6038-2

Almost any church you walk into, any Sunday service, any church committee, you will notice the gender gap. There are more women than men. Is this just the way of things? Are women just naturally more religious than men? If you think that's unlikely, but don't understand why and want to know mote, then this is the book for you. David starts by looking at Masculinity, and then at some more detailed categories of people who are n
...more
Kj
I have a love-hate relationship with this book.

On the one hand, I was annoyed with the way he portrayed women - I know, it was a stereotype to highlight the differences between men and women, but as a woman it annoyed me. I felt judged whilst reading it, and that my feminine qualities were somehow the reason men couldn't worship alongside me.

I'm probably being oversensitive about that. Maybe it's that time of the month.

I also really didn't like the way he separated Jesus into two separate charac
...more
Sonia Reppe
A lot of this book is about the differences between men and women; and why men are not comfortable in church (because most churches employ feminine themes and imagery, use a verbal teaching style, don't challenge enough, talk about having a "relationship" with Jesus, and so on) and how churches should adjust to meet men's needs.


There are so many points I could expound on, and yet maybe they are obvious to you. Men don't go to church because it's boring for them, they don't like the hand-holding
...more
Derek
This book is awesome. This dude nails it, and he had the data to prove his points. I would encourage every Christian to read this book, and then begin to act on the truths and the hard realities contained within. This book isn't sexist, or misogynistic. It is true, funny, and well researched. The author was able to put words to many of the things that had been rumbling around in my head for years.

It sounds like it might be a negative book, but actually it's very upbeat, humorous and positive. H
...more
Chris French
I’m sure you’ve noticed a decline in the male population in our churches. Why are men fleeing from the church like a fat kid from gym class? Murrow thinks that we’ve feminized the church. We’ve focused on the Lamb of God to the exclusion of the Lion of Judah. He may have a valid point. Today’s church identifies more with the love, helping and relationships than with success, achievement and power, which is interesting because the first grouping comes from the women’s values in the book Men are f ...more
Amber
This book was ok. I am glad I bought it while it was on a deep discount or I might have been a little bit more frustrated with it. The author makes some great points and illustrates what causes the issues that leave men frustrated or fearful of attending a church. However, he considers most of his solutions from a mega church structure point of view. For people who are from small towns (really and truly small towns-not those 10,000+ small towns) many of suggestions are going to be harder to fulf ...more
joel
Full disclosure: didn't finish this one. I hung it up around the 75% mark when I realized that the author, while seemingly intent on highlighting the importance of masculine spirit in the church, was perfectly comfortable going along to get along on the scripturally black-and-white issue of female pastors. Other than that, the book made some important observations and had a handful of good things to say (which it said and said and said... again and again and again and again... like many a modern ...more
Brian
YES! He’s right! David Murrow begins by calling out specific peeves that turn off men in contemporary churches. But he doesn’t stop there. He backs up his observations with solid data and supports his assertions directly from scripture. At first, his often humorous commentary felt very validating by asserting the same concerns and dislikes that I’ve felt for many years. It seems I’m not the only guy who’s uncomfortable with overly sentimental praise songs. But the tone changed away from what cou ...more
M.G. Bianco
I really enjoyed this book.

There are three main points Murrow makes through the book. First, he sets to prove that there is a divide in the church, more women attend church than men. Second, he tries to dissect the reasons why this may be true. Third, he offers solutions to the problem.

The points are not necessarily neatly divided into three sections of the book--although that is somewhat the case.

To his first point, Murrow offers statistics and anecdotes exposing the attendance of men versus
...more
Dale
Powerful and dead on.

Published 2011 by Thomas Nelson
237 pages, including end notes.

David Murrow has put a lot of thought into why men do not go to church. I am in my mid-40s and have gone to church all of my life, with the exception of 2 or 3 years right after college where my wife and I went every once in a while at best. We have been at the same church for 18 years.

We have a great church but we do have wives that come to church without their husbands week in and week out - not many, but after
...more
James
Every American male should read this book. So should every Christian female interested in the topic of Church growth.



Murrow's book is a jarring, prescient and seminal analysis of the church. It shines forth a fresh, compelling mixture of Eldredge's outstanding books Wild at Heart and Waking the Dead. Its primary topics are masculinity, and the statistics and sociology of Church decline.



It is an outstanding synthesis of the service-oriented focus of liberal churches and the discipleship-oriente
...more
David Santos
Before I get into the actual review. I'd like to remind people that there are other Christian religions such as the 7th Day Adventist, that do NOT worship on Sundays, but on Saturday mornings. The author researched many other religions and mentions them in the book except the SDA's. Now, as I said I am an unbiased reviewer so I will not lower the rating of this book because of that, but I thought I should point that out. We do exist people.

For years I have asked myself that very question "Why do
...more
Cafelilybookreviews
David Murrow makes some interesting points in his book Why Men Hate Going To Church.

I’m sure that he has possibly irritated many readers with his suggestions that the overall “feminization” of the church has contributed to a mass exodus of men. But whether you agree or disagree with Murrow’s book, you cannot deny the proof that men are attending church less and less.

While we may not all agree on the why – it certainly is an issue. The author writes that “the missing men are looking for adventu
...more
Linda Walters
As a woman reading this book, I was astounded by the sheer numbers of men absent from church. Several statements in the book grabbed my attention as truth. “ There are two kinds of people in the church; the pillars and the caterpillars. the pillars uphold the church with their prayers; their work and their donations. they build the kingdom of God by the sweat of their brows. The caterpillars crawl in Sunday morning, sing a few songs, listen to a sermon and crawl out again , not to be seen for a ...more
Gregory Soderberg
David Murrow has written an important book that churches can only ignore to their great peril. The statistics are frightening ... mainline churches are increasingly feminine in their membership, even as they decline in overall membership. Churches that are growing and thriving are self-consciously targeting men and involving the men. More importantly, they are doing things that men want to be a part of. Men want to be on a mission--they feel uncomfortable around lots of talk of an "intimate rela ...more
Robert Stump
Homo Homini Lupus
http://manisawolftomen.blogspot.com/

Why Men Hate Going to Church by David Murrow is a refreshing look inside the holy gates. With a sniper's precision Murrow hones in all the many facets of the family of God that have sent the warriors of the Kingdom out alone into the fields. Three points stand above the rest in his analysis: the Church preaches the lamb to the exclusion of the lion, that is, churches are nice; they like hugging and potlucks; the Church is effeminate, that is,
...more
Andrew
In Why Men Hate Going to Church, David Murrow exposed the truth to the gender gaps in churches around the world. Men are rapidly disappearing from the congregation. Men have decided to do different things on Sunday. Women have become the main people running and going to church. Men are leaving churches because they have fear losing their masculinity. Many churches are using feminine language to describe a personal relationship with Christ. Murrow feels like men associate the word relationship wi ...more
Bobby Catt
this book seeks to answer some of the reasons why modern churches have a higher percentage of women in attendance, participation, and leadership.

the author takes a "this is how it is" not "this is how it should be" approach which he admits includes a lot of generalizations and non politically correct language when it comes to trying to characterize genders. i am sure that the writing will at times offend those active in church leadership, women, and those with a more moderate or liberal viewpoi
...more
Aleesa Sutton
Murrow has written a thought-provoking and important book about the crisis of the number of "unchurched" men today. This is an obvious labour of love for Murrow, as he almost abandoned Christianity himself because he didn't feel there was any room for his masculinity. Some points I especially liked:

- men’s passivity in church stems less from laziness and more from uneasiness (with the “feminine status quo”)

- many of today's churches are focused on comforting rather than challenging

- churchgoing
...more
Steve
NB: my review is of the revised second edition - not this one. The revised edition doesn't seem to be available on Goodreads.


Christianity is not attractive to men at the moment. In fact, men hate going to church, according to David Murrow, the author of Why Men Hate Going to Church. Murrow argues that Christianity has become feminized since the industrial revolution to such an extent that men are leaving in droves or avoiding church like they avoid housework (my example - not his!). The men who
...more
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“Men are hard-wired for risk taking—particularly young men. The number one killer of fifteen- to twenty-four-year-old males is accidents.6 Female investors hold less risky investment portfolios than their male counterparts and generally take fewer chances with their money.
Churches need men because men are natural risk takers—and they bring that orientation into the church. Congregations that do not take risks atrophy. Jesus made it clear that risk taking is necessary to please God. In the parable of the talents, the master praises two servants who risked their assets and produced more, but he curses the servant who played it safe. He who avoids all risk is, in the words of Jesus, “wicked and lazy".”
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“Men tend to be more orthodox in belief. Their concern for the rules keeps a congregation from drifting toward mushy moral relativism.” 1 likes
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