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They're Your Parents, Too!: How Siblings Can Survive Their Parents' Aging Without Driving Each Other Crazy
Your parents are growing older and are getting forgetful, starting to slow down, or worse. Suddenly you find yourself at the cusp of one of the most important transitions in your life—and the life of your family. Your parents need you and your siblings to step up and take care of them, a little or a lot. To make the right things happen, you will all need to work together. ...more
ebook, 0 pages
Published January 26th 2010 by Bantam
(first published January 1st 2010)
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More and more of us Baby Boomer generation each day are having to face the challenge of caring for our aging parents. Whether you are an only child facing this task or from a large family of siblings like myself it's not an easy decision to make. I say that knowing full well that it's not just one decision but many that you will be faced with. Will you care for them in your home or in assisted living; Who will visit and how often; Who will run errands; where will they go if they need full time n ...more
May 04, 2010 Jennifer rated it it was amazing · review of another edition
From My Blog...[return][return]As we age, so do our parents and for many of us there will come a time when difficult decisions must be made. Fortunately, Francine Russo thought of many of the issues that will arise and offers up some practical advise about how to deal with these issues and the feelings attached in her book They're Your Parents Too! How Siblings Can Survive Their Parents' Aging Without Driving Each Other Crazy. Russo carefully lays out each section of her book, dividing it into f ...more
If you're like me (and morbid), you too may be thinking about your parents' mortalities. When you're a kid, you don't think your parents are going anywhere. They're going to look the same, act the same, be the same, for the rest of your life. But as an adult, you suddenly realize that your parents are OLD. They've aged. And then you are hit with the fact that your parents really aren't going to be there forever. I think about this now every time my mother or father tells me about an ache or a pa ...more
I first heard about this book while listening to an interview with the author on NPR. What struck me most of all was the sheer number of callers phoning in to thank the author for writing such an important work. This really cemented my belief that “elder care” is a subject that is just as important as child care, yet hasn’t, until at least recently, received enough attention. The focus of this work is on sibling relationships and dynamics when taking care of one’s parents--a time that can be fra ...more
This did offer a lot of helpful perspective and things to consider. It definitely helped me think about how things might be seen by other siblings - that each sibling, despite perhaps having the same parents, did not necessarily have the same childhood or relationships with those parents. It calmed me down a lot on the issue, about which I had recently gotten a bit frantic and perhaps paranoid. There were some criticisms, but they're fairly minor, so I'll leave them unsaid and just say that I de ...more
This was okay, but not as helpful as I'd hoped. The case studies were very specific, and it seemed as if much more time was put into the narration of those situations than into actual advice as to how to cope with them. Also, I never felt that she quite got to MY situation. Of course, there wasn't a "you're right and your brother is WRONG" chapter, so that might be what I was looking for and felt was lacking. :-}
I thought this was very informative in understanding the psychological complexities that play into not only the parent/child relationship in dealing with aging parents, but the the sibling to sibling relationships. From the case examples in the book it sounds as though some families are able to finally figure it out and successfully navigate through this process. Unfortunately, I know there are others where this is not the case and some relationships become permanently severed as a result.
Russo interviews a number of siblings about their experience caring for an ailing parent. She focuses on the emotional landscape of these events (sibling rivalries, shifting family roles and such), but she does have some detail on pragmatics of health care.