3rd out of 670 books
—
2,899 voters
Discover new books on Goodreads
Sign in to see your friends' reviews:
Halo (Halo #1)
An angel is sent to Earth on a mission.
But falling in love is not part of the plan.
Three angels – Gabriel, the warrior; Ivy, the healer; and Bethany, the youngest and most human – are sent by Heaven to bring good to a world falling under the influence of darkness. They work hard to conceal their luminous glow, superhuman powers, and, most dangerous of all, their wings, all...more An angel is sent to Earth on a mission.
But falling in love is not part of the plan.
Three angels – Gabriel, the warrior; Ivy, the healer; and Bethany, the youngest and most human – are sent by Heaven to bring good to a world falling under the influence of darkness. They work hard to conceal their luminous glow, superhuman powers, and, most dangerous of all, their wings, all the while avoiding all human attachments.
Then Bethany meets Xavier Woods, and neither of them is able to resist the attraction between them. Gabriel and Ivy do everything in their power to intervene, but the bond between Xavier and Bethany seems too strong.
The angel’s mission is urgent, and dark forces are threatening. Will love ruin Bethany or save her?(less)
But falling in love is not part of the plan.
Three angels – Gabriel, the warrior; Ivy, the healer; and Bethany, the youngest and most human – are sent by Heaven to bring good to a world falling under the influence of darkness. They work hard to conceal their luminous glow, superhuman powers, and, most dangerous of all, their wings, all...more An angel is sent to Earth on a mission.
But falling in love is not part of the plan.
Three angels – Gabriel, the warrior; Ivy, the healer; and Bethany, the youngest and most human – are sent by Heaven to bring good to a world falling under the influence of darkness. They work hard to conceal their luminous glow, superhuman powers, and, most dangerous of all, their wings, all the while avoiding all human attachments.
Then Bethany meets Xavier Woods, and neither of them is able to resist the attraction between them. Gabriel and Ivy do everything in their power to intervene, but the bond between Xavier and Bethany seems too strong.
The angel’s mission is urgent, and dark forces are threatening. Will love ruin Bethany or save her?(less)
Hardcover, 1st Edition, 484 pages
Published
August 31st 2010
by Feiwel & Friends
more details...
...less detail
edit details
ISBN
0312656262
(ISBN13: 9780312656263)
edition language
English
original title
Halo
series
characters
Friend Reviews
To see what your friends thought of this book,
please sign up.
Community Reviews
(showing
1-30
of
3,000)
Sep 08, 2012
Kira
rated it
1 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
Floppy-haired preps
Recommended to Kira by:
A floppy-haired prep
Shelves:
books-to-use-as-weapons,
angels-and-demons,
train-wreck-romance,
made-no-sense,
tstl-heroine,
lost-the-will-to-live,
made-me-want-to-choke-myself,
go-choke-on-your-sexism,
papa-dont-preach,
purity-myth-crap,
cat-scratch-series,
lolwut,
so-boring-i-ate-my-own-face,
ya,
your-slut-shaming-is-disgusting,
will-read-for-all-the-wrong-reasons,
oh-god-the-whitewashing
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it,
click here.
Remember when you were about twelve, and you saw all those cool kids with scene hair writing maudlin poetry into their Death Note notebooks? I do. Come on, guys. Let's be honest here. About 85% of us had an emo phase at around that time, and I'm not going to parade around in my hot pants and lie about it.
I was such a fucking dork when I was twelve. I kid you not: I tried to write a screenplay. What the ever loving fuck was I thinking? Then I got into video games in a big way, all those weird Ja...more Remember when you were about twelve, and you saw all those cool kids with scene hair writing maudlin poetry into their Death Note notebooks? I do. Come on, guys. Let's be honest here. About 85% of us had an emo phase at around that time, and I'm not going to parade around in my hot pants and lie about it.
I was such a fucking dork when I was twelve. I kid you not: I tried to write a screenplay. What the ever loving fuck was I thinking? Then I got into video games in a big way, all those weird Japanese Nomura concoctions and then for a six-month window between twelve and thirteen, I was a weeaboo.
I'm so sorry, World.
That was when I hit my fanfiction stride. It lasted for a while. Like, maybe a couple years. I used to post my rambling cheesy crap all over deviantART (I was afraid of fanfiction.net) and then I came across this person who, at nearly thirty years old, was still writing fanfiction for Magical Girl anime. And it was that traditional, full-frontal, badly-punctuated fanfiction, too.
I sat back slowly, and I thought this: what if, at thirty, I'm still writing this dreck? What if I get so absorbed into this fanfiction world that I never actually write anything of my own, or of substance? What if I am the Peter Pan of writers: I never grow out of writing adolescent shit at midnight when I'd supposed to be doing homework?
Halo embodies everything I was afraid of being trapped in, at fourteen years old. It is some of the most obnoxious, immature and poorly-written crap I have ever read in my life.
That one star up there? Unintended comedic value. That's what that's for.
The writing is abhorrently, almost insultingly bad. It makes me hurt to think that someone read this sentence, "It's usually pretty chill around here except things have been a bit weird lately" and decided that there was no way the world could live without the craft of Adornetto. Like, really?
What the fuck?
I feel like this book has some kind of vendetta against punctuation. It's like it's making some kind of Occupy YA protest against correct grammar - either that or it's some kind of personal attack against people who give a shit about where question marks go.
For example:
There should have been a question mark at the end of this sentence: "Yes, but what if they think I'm weird."
But there should not have been a question mark at the end of this sentence:
"I can't believe that stuff really interests you?"
See what I mean?
Also, I had to read this sentence, "A door slammed and a girl with brown curls pulled back from her face with a headband appeared" about six times before it made any sense.
There's also this: "In my dress I resembled a column of shimmering moonlight."
Yeah, and when I got food poisoning from that Chinese restaurant and spent two days throwing up and writhing in pain, I resembled a column of shimmering sweat. Shit happens.
Seriously, though. This book just throbs purple. And it's bad enough that the dialogue is almost abusively cheesy ("You can't be..." "An angel? Jackpot." Or, even worse: "Holy crap!" "Would you mind not blaspheming?" What the absolute fuck?) but the plot is just...
No. There's nothing to say about the plot. Because it isn't there. There is no plot to speak of. It is absent. Non-existent. There has been a mass plot exodus.
It's kind of like The Inn of the Sixth Happiness or Paranormal Activity. You have to wade through an entire sinkhole of wobbly black nothingness to get to some actual substance, and when you think you've finally unearthed something, anything to validate the existence of this story, it slips from thine desperate hands. And then you're left standing there alone, covered in shit, wondering where your life went.
I'm not exaggerating. For the first 300 or so pages, Bethany swoons. And that's it. And it's not like Xavier is attractive, or anything. In fact, he's fucking horrible. Like, horrible. Mel Gibson horrible.
So we're told that Xavier has such a good heart, and yet he shits all over Bethany from the greatest height. I honestly do not understand how anyone can find this controlling, vindictive, obsessive, domineering, creepy, cruel, misogynistic, condescending, chauvinistic, stupid and absurd boy attractive. How? How? Someone explain to me what the allure of Xavier is. Please.
Let's just isolate a few points. I know that when these things are spread over a large number of pages, the impact can be diluted. If we mash together all the instances in which he bullies Bethany, maybe we can have some clarity.
"I knew that if I wanted to keep my entire world from falling apart, I would have to keep Xavier." (217)
"Entrusted to look after me by Gabriel and Ivy" (247)
"He was the one who reminded me to drink plenty of water and the one who deflected questions about my family from curious classmates. He even took it upon himself to answer for me one day when Mr. Collins asked why I hadn't managed to finish my homework by the due date."
"I knew that if it slipped my mind, Xavier would complete it for me and hand it in without my knowledge." (248)
"He became fiercely protective whenever anybody he didn't approve of came within a two-foot radius of me." (248)
"What's wrong with him?" I asked crossly. "He seems nice enough."
"He's not your type of person."
"Why?"
"You ask a lot of questions, don't you?" (248)
"Her business is my business." (249)
"I'm not hungry. Gabriel always cooks a big breakfast."
"Here, eat this," he commanded and pushed a health bar across the table." (251)
"Xavier chuckled as he told me the story, amused by the irrational antics of the females in his family." (253)

I hope you realize how much it ached for me to actually find those quotes, and to burn my keyboard by writing them down. You know that little crying feminist inside me? She's bawling so hard her head hurts.
If nobody can see the controlling, obsessive and downright abusive nature of those quotes above, then I give up. I surrender. I have no more cards to pull here. All I can say is that Xavier is a very frightening, very twisted rape fantasy. You may balk, "Rape fantasy? He never shows any signs of sexually assaulting Bethany!"
Rape culture runs so much deeper than bare-faced sexual assault. Rape culture is the ultimate snake in the grass. It thrives on the encompassing control and subordination of women, the propagation of gender roles (strong and dependable man, weak and stupid woman) so that, when a woman is raped or treated in any derivative way of rape, it is shrugged off as "just a man fulfilling his needs" or "she was asking for it" or "she's hysterical/delusional/overreacting" or "what a crazy bitch, she should calm down". Bethany is coddled and roughed around like a toy, or an accessory on Xavier's arm. Everything they do is on Xavier's terms. It is what he wants, when he wants it, and Bethany is so in awe of him that she allows him to treat her like a commodity.
There is something so shockingly wrong about the idolization of a love interest like this. What exactly is wrong with society and pop culture that we would actually endorse this behavior? And what is wrong with those people who say that the feminist movement has done her job and is out of work, and that sex equality has been fully and completely achieved?
Who are those people? Are they misogynists, or just blind to the fact that characters like Xavier are not characters at all: they are wish fulfillment devices. Meaning that women out there and a surprising volume of young gay men have been taught to wish for a submissive role in a relationship with a prince who will not only sweep them off their feet and twirl them into a glamorous world where they may be paraded like a new tight pair of pants, but take them home after the ball, cut off their landline connection and then proceed to wear them in any way they please.
I'm simply weary of this. Weary of being odd because I did not swoon but throw the book at the wall when Edward wrecked Bella's truck so she couldn't go and see Jacob. Weary of being afraid of ever meeting a man like Patch, and weary of having to use physical force when I did. Weary of every part of this constant glorification of rape culture in YA novels which ostentatiously spits on women.
The pro-purity and slut-shaming dogma in this book was absolutely out of control, but I make a better and more coherent rant on my review of Hades. I'm also running out of characters for this review, so bear with me.
Drum roll, please!
Now for my favorite quote of the entire book: "For this evening at least, feminist philosophy had been abandoned, and the girls, like fairy-tale princesses, let themselves be lead up the flight of steps into the foyer."
I just love this. I love it. First of all, it acts as though feminist philosophy is about two things: not wearing dresses and not touching men.
I feel insulted that the word "feminist" was even in this book. I feel as though merely being a part of this thing, it has been defiled in some way. This book just has no idea what it's talking about, ever. About anything. It's like that twelve-year-old weeaboo kid, who thinks they know everything about Japan because they watch anime. This books thinks it knows everything about teenagers and women because it was written by a teenage woman.
But this book is just a sham. It's just a huge hot mess, and that unbelievably inane comment above just epitomizes what a hot mess it is. Does anybody really think that feminist philosophy is about wearing pants and walking up a set of stairs without help?
I also love the notion that feminist philosophy can just be thrown aside for the night, because being a sparkly thing on your date's arm is more important than an entire belief system. That's like a vegan saying, "Oh, it's the Fourth of July. For this night at least, vegan philosophy has been abandoned and I, like a true meat eater, am biting into a thick, juicy steak."
I live by feminist philosophy. Feminists do. It's not a fad, or some silly Facebook link you like when you're bored. Feminism is, to those who believe in it, a concrete foundation to an entire lifestyle. This comment suggests that casting aside something that literally runs through my veins is so easy, so casual, so normal. So inconsequential.
I am just stumped by this. Completely and utterly stumped.
I would tackle the other characters because I haven't yet, but what's the point? Ivy barely has a pulse. Gabriel is just an imprint of Xavier, but in a brotherly role rather than a sexual one, and Bethany is like a piece of glittery cardboard. Molly is just a tool to highlight Bethany's virginity. And Jake is so random and weird I'm averse to even calling him a character. What is he? What exactly is going on with him? He's obviously from Britain because everybody there is evil, right, and he has this tattoo and he rides a motorbike and oh, God, make it stop! I'm hurting!
There's also the hilarious physical description of him. His eyes are described as "cat-green". I may be mistaken, BUT CATS AREN'T GREEN.

Look at that! I am mistaken, after all.
Another little peeve I had when reading the absolutely revolting climax was the fact that Jake had an 'inverted pentagram' hanging around his neck.
Let's sidetrack here. A pentagram is a five-pointed star that sits with the top point facing downward, and is placed inside a circle. It is considered a symbol that represents evil because it was originally drawn as an allusion to Baphomet's face - the androgynous goat man born to Lilith and Lucifer.
A pentacle is a five-pointed star with the top point facing upward, again drawn inside the circle. It is commonly used in white witchcraft because it represents good energy, white light and the power of healing.
Now, look back at the top description. If a pentagram was 'inverted' surely that pentagram would become a pentacle?
I can only speculate as to why on earth our super-evil tattooed English demon villain HYUK HYUK Jake Thorn is wearing one of the most powerful symbols of light/good/healing.
As it nears the end, the general craftsmanship of this book really goes down the crapper. At one point, Molly, Gabriel and Beth are having this cozy little chat in the kitchen and when Molly agonizes over her weight, Gabriel basically snaps his fingers in her face and says, "Eat, bitch."
Now, don't get me wrong. It's physically sickening to see anorexic supermodels glorified on the runway, and summer diets splashed over the cover of every glossy magazine because, you know, being SO THIN YOU DISAPPEAR WHEN YOU TURN SIDEWAYS and allowing your entire life to revolve around narcissism and appearances is really going to enrich your life.
But the writing isn't up to this strenuous activity. Molly and Gabriel talk about it in such an awful stilted way that I just didn't believe it. I felt like I was receiving a direct lecture from the author, and that just doesn't cut it for me. That's not enough to convince me that I don't need to diet. Molly's reaction was just so painfully unrealistic - what girl would immediately change her entire eating regime after one three-sentence pep talk from a guy she barely knows?
And the subliminal messaging in this book just totally negates this. We have this nonsense about inner beauty, in the middle of a book where every single character on Team Good is stunningly beautiful. Bethany says not to invite Xavier in, because she looks a mess. What? You just gave us a lecture on the value on inner loveliness, and yet you base your entire book on a relationship that places physical beauty and prowess on the highest possible bullshit pedestal, having Bethany rabbit forever about how hot Xavier is, how beautiful angels are, and how she couldn't live without Xavier's eyes or muscles or what have you.
It's this kind of ridiculous, wishy-washy bullshit that gives YA such horrible press.
To conclude?
This is shallow, unbelievable, pretentious tripe with a very sad moral background. I hate Bethany, and Xavier, and Jake. They're walking clichés. Ivy is barely there, and fulfills her duty on this mission by anchoring herself to the kitchen and the church. Phantom and Alice add nothing to the story and are just plot devices so that Bethany's sickly sweet nature can win our stony hearts.
What a shameless character she is. I can't stand her. If I met her, I'd slap her six ways to Sunday.
The writing is clumsy, forced, clichéd and incorrectly punctuated. Very occasionally there's this little spark, but then it's drowned in a bath of purple prose, never to resurface. Bethany is the dreadful product of author self-insertion, and the whole thing is just so mind-numbingly cheesy that it practically oozes mozzarella.
There is no plot to this book. A good editing job could have sliced it down to about 150 pages, and even then the watery excuse for a villain and Bethany's perfection would still have made me barf into my hair. Why did 'Our Father' (Note: Incorrect caps. Capitalizing the possessive 'our' suggests that the angels themselves are divine, when really God is the only one who should be capitalized in this equation.) send the 'Agents of Light' to an English-speaking upper middle class town where everybody is getting on with their lives just fine?
How convenient, no? How fortunate for Bethany to have arrived in a place where she can fall in 'love' with a rich white boy with a nice family and perfect health. The sad thing about this book is that it was almost a cool idea, and if it had been executed better it could have been awesome. For example, both race and crosses in class and tradition could have been explored if a little more thought had been put into it. What if Bethany and her cohorts had been sent to a remote area of Africa where Bethany has to juggle both her good deeds and growing love for a male tribe member who intrigues her with customs and beliefs that are so different to the ones of the western children she is accustomed to? What if Bethany had been entered into a war zone where she had to save the people from constant threats of violence while gradually being drawn to a young soldier on the opposing side? What moral dilemma would this pose?
It's not hard to think outside the box - or at least it shouldn't be for a serious author. Books, especially those aimed at young people, should be more than stupid pointless fluff. Young minds absorb values and subliminal messages like sponges, and if you're teaching this generation views that were only relevant in the twenties when women were not persons, then what kind of development do you expect for future feminism? Today's YA does not even have to reflect the depth of 1984 or A Tale Of Two Cities, it just has to prove something meaningful in the eyes of readers. If it doesn't, then what's the point? I could learn more about the value of love and healthy body image by watching Say Yes To The Dress!
One star for unintentional comedy. And that is all.(less)
I was such a fucking dork when I was twelve. I kid you not: I tried to write a screenplay. What the ever loving fuck was I thinking? Then I got into video games in a big way, all those weird Ja...more Remember when you were about twelve, and you saw all those cool kids with scene hair writing maudlin poetry into their Death Note notebooks? I do. Come on, guys. Let's be honest here. About 85% of us had an emo phase at around that time, and I'm not going to parade around in my hot pants and lie about it.
I was such a fucking dork when I was twelve. I kid you not: I tried to write a screenplay. What the ever loving fuck was I thinking? Then I got into video games in a big way, all those weird Japanese Nomura concoctions and then for a six-month window between twelve and thirteen, I was a weeaboo.
I'm so sorry, World.
That was when I hit my fanfiction stride. It lasted for a while. Like, maybe a couple years. I used to post my rambling cheesy crap all over deviantART (I was afraid of fanfiction.net) and then I came across this person who, at nearly thirty years old, was still writing fanfiction for Magical Girl anime. And it was that traditional, full-frontal, badly-punctuated fanfiction, too.
I sat back slowly, and I thought this: what if, at thirty, I'm still writing this dreck? What if I get so absorbed into this fanfiction world that I never actually write anything of my own, or of substance? What if I am the Peter Pan of writers: I never grow out of writing adolescent shit at midnight when I'd supposed to be doing homework?
Halo embodies everything I was afraid of being trapped in, at fourteen years old. It is some of the most obnoxious, immature and poorly-written crap I have ever read in my life.
That one star up there? Unintended comedic value. That's what that's for.
The writing is abhorrently, almost insultingly bad. It makes me hurt to think that someone read this sentence, "It's usually pretty chill around here except things have been a bit weird lately" and decided that there was no way the world could live without the craft of Adornetto. Like, really?
What the fuck?
I feel like this book has some kind of vendetta against punctuation. It's like it's making some kind of Occupy YA protest against correct grammar - either that or it's some kind of personal attack against people who give a shit about where question marks go.
For example:
There should have been a question mark at the end of this sentence: "Yes, but what if they think I'm weird."
But there should not have been a question mark at the end of this sentence:
"I can't believe that stuff really interests you?"
See what I mean?
Also, I had to read this sentence, "A door slammed and a girl with brown curls pulled back from her face with a headband appeared" about six times before it made any sense.
There's also this: "In my dress I resembled a column of shimmering moonlight."
Yeah, and when I got food poisoning from that Chinese restaurant and spent two days throwing up and writhing in pain, I resembled a column of shimmering sweat. Shit happens.
Seriously, though. This book just throbs purple. And it's bad enough that the dialogue is almost abusively cheesy ("You can't be..." "An angel? Jackpot." Or, even worse: "Holy crap!" "Would you mind not blaspheming?" What the absolute fuck?) but the plot is just...
No. There's nothing to say about the plot. Because it isn't there. There is no plot to speak of. It is absent. Non-existent. There has been a mass plot exodus.
It's kind of like The Inn of the Sixth Happiness or Paranormal Activity. You have to wade through an entire sinkhole of wobbly black nothingness to get to some actual substance, and when you think you've finally unearthed something, anything to validate the existence of this story, it slips from thine desperate hands. And then you're left standing there alone, covered in shit, wondering where your life went.
I'm not exaggerating. For the first 300 or so pages, Bethany swoons. And that's it. And it's not like Xavier is attractive, or anything. In fact, he's fucking horrible. Like, horrible. Mel Gibson horrible.
So we're told that Xavier has such a good heart, and yet he shits all over Bethany from the greatest height. I honestly do not understand how anyone can find this controlling, vindictive, obsessive, domineering, creepy, cruel, misogynistic, condescending, chauvinistic, stupid and absurd boy attractive. How? How? Someone explain to me what the allure of Xavier is. Please.
Let's just isolate a few points. I know that when these things are spread over a large number of pages, the impact can be diluted. If we mash together all the instances in which he bullies Bethany, maybe we can have some clarity.
"I knew that if I wanted to keep my entire world from falling apart, I would have to keep Xavier." (217)
"Entrusted to look after me by Gabriel and Ivy" (247)
"He was the one who reminded me to drink plenty of water and the one who deflected questions about my family from curious classmates. He even took it upon himself to answer for me one day when Mr. Collins asked why I hadn't managed to finish my homework by the due date."
"I knew that if it slipped my mind, Xavier would complete it for me and hand it in without my knowledge." (248)
"He became fiercely protective whenever anybody he didn't approve of came within a two-foot radius of me." (248)
"What's wrong with him?" I asked crossly. "He seems nice enough."
"He's not your type of person."
"Why?"
"You ask a lot of questions, don't you?" (248)
"Her business is my business." (249)
"I'm not hungry. Gabriel always cooks a big breakfast."
"Here, eat this," he commanded and pushed a health bar across the table." (251)
"Xavier chuckled as he told me the story, amused by the irrational antics of the females in his family." (253)

I hope you realize how much it ached for me to actually find those quotes, and to burn my keyboard by writing them down. You know that little crying feminist inside me? She's bawling so hard her head hurts.
If nobody can see the controlling, obsessive and downright abusive nature of those quotes above, then I give up. I surrender. I have no more cards to pull here. All I can say is that Xavier is a very frightening, very twisted rape fantasy. You may balk, "Rape fantasy? He never shows any signs of sexually assaulting Bethany!"
Rape culture runs so much deeper than bare-faced sexual assault. Rape culture is the ultimate snake in the grass. It thrives on the encompassing control and subordination of women, the propagation of gender roles (strong and dependable man, weak and stupid woman) so that, when a woman is raped or treated in any derivative way of rape, it is shrugged off as "just a man fulfilling his needs" or "she was asking for it" or "she's hysterical/delusional/overreacting" or "what a crazy bitch, she should calm down". Bethany is coddled and roughed around like a toy, or an accessory on Xavier's arm. Everything they do is on Xavier's terms. It is what he wants, when he wants it, and Bethany is so in awe of him that she allows him to treat her like a commodity.
There is something so shockingly wrong about the idolization of a love interest like this. What exactly is wrong with society and pop culture that we would actually endorse this behavior? And what is wrong with those people who say that the feminist movement has done her job and is out of work, and that sex equality has been fully and completely achieved?
Who are those people? Are they misogynists, or just blind to the fact that characters like Xavier are not characters at all: they are wish fulfillment devices. Meaning that women out there and a surprising volume of young gay men have been taught to wish for a submissive role in a relationship with a prince who will not only sweep them off their feet and twirl them into a glamorous world where they may be paraded like a new tight pair of pants, but take them home after the ball, cut off their landline connection and then proceed to wear them in any way they please.
I'm simply weary of this. Weary of being odd because I did not swoon but throw the book at the wall when Edward wrecked Bella's truck so she couldn't go and see Jacob. Weary of being afraid of ever meeting a man like Patch, and weary of having to use physical force when I did. Weary of every part of this constant glorification of rape culture in YA novels which ostentatiously spits on women.
The pro-purity and slut-shaming dogma in this book was absolutely out of control, but I make a better and more coherent rant on my review of Hades. I'm also running out of characters for this review, so bear with me.
Drum roll, please!
Now for my favorite quote of the entire book: "For this evening at least, feminist philosophy had been abandoned, and the girls, like fairy-tale princesses, let themselves be lead up the flight of steps into the foyer."
I just love this. I love it. First of all, it acts as though feminist philosophy is about two things: not wearing dresses and not touching men.
I feel insulted that the word "feminist" was even in this book. I feel as though merely being a part of this thing, it has been defiled in some way. This book just has no idea what it's talking about, ever. About anything. It's like that twelve-year-old weeaboo kid, who thinks they know everything about Japan because they watch anime. This books thinks it knows everything about teenagers and women because it was written by a teenage woman.
But this book is just a sham. It's just a huge hot mess, and that unbelievably inane comment above just epitomizes what a hot mess it is. Does anybody really think that feminist philosophy is about wearing pants and walking up a set of stairs without help?
I also love the notion that feminist philosophy can just be thrown aside for the night, because being a sparkly thing on your date's arm is more important than an entire belief system. That's like a vegan saying, "Oh, it's the Fourth of July. For this night at least, vegan philosophy has been abandoned and I, like a true meat eater, am biting into a thick, juicy steak."
I live by feminist philosophy. Feminists do. It's not a fad, or some silly Facebook link you like when you're bored. Feminism is, to those who believe in it, a concrete foundation to an entire lifestyle. This comment suggests that casting aside something that literally runs through my veins is so easy, so casual, so normal. So inconsequential.
I am just stumped by this. Completely and utterly stumped.
I would tackle the other characters because I haven't yet, but what's the point? Ivy barely has a pulse. Gabriel is just an imprint of Xavier, but in a brotherly role rather than a sexual one, and Bethany is like a piece of glittery cardboard. Molly is just a tool to highlight Bethany's virginity. And Jake is so random and weird I'm averse to even calling him a character. What is he? What exactly is going on with him? He's obviously from Britain because everybody there is evil, right, and he has this tattoo and he rides a motorbike and oh, God, make it stop! I'm hurting!
There's also the hilarious physical description of him. His eyes are described as "cat-green". I may be mistaken, BUT CATS AREN'T GREEN.
Look at that! I am mistaken, after all.
Another little peeve I had when reading the absolutely revolting climax was the fact that Jake had an 'inverted pentagram' hanging around his neck.
Let's sidetrack here. A pentagram is a five-pointed star that sits with the top point facing downward, and is placed inside a circle. It is considered a symbol that represents evil because it was originally drawn as an allusion to Baphomet's face - the androgynous goat man born to Lilith and Lucifer.
A pentacle is a five-pointed star with the top point facing upward, again drawn inside the circle. It is commonly used in white witchcraft because it represents good energy, white light and the power of healing.
Now, look back at the top description. If a pentagram was 'inverted' surely that pentagram would become a pentacle?
I can only speculate as to why on earth our super-evil tattooed English demon villain HYUK HYUK Jake Thorn is wearing one of the most powerful symbols of light/good/healing.
As it nears the end, the general craftsmanship of this book really goes down the crapper. At one point, Molly, Gabriel and Beth are having this cozy little chat in the kitchen and when Molly agonizes over her weight, Gabriel basically snaps his fingers in her face and says, "Eat, bitch."
Now, don't get me wrong. It's physically sickening to see anorexic supermodels glorified on the runway, and summer diets splashed over the cover of every glossy magazine because, you know, being SO THIN YOU DISAPPEAR WHEN YOU TURN SIDEWAYS and allowing your entire life to revolve around narcissism and appearances is really going to enrich your life.
But the writing isn't up to this strenuous activity. Molly and Gabriel talk about it in such an awful stilted way that I just didn't believe it. I felt like I was receiving a direct lecture from the author, and that just doesn't cut it for me. That's not enough to convince me that I don't need to diet. Molly's reaction was just so painfully unrealistic - what girl would immediately change her entire eating regime after one three-sentence pep talk from a guy she barely knows?
And the subliminal messaging in this book just totally negates this. We have this nonsense about inner beauty, in the middle of a book where every single character on Team Good is stunningly beautiful. Bethany says not to invite Xavier in, because she looks a mess. What? You just gave us a lecture on the value on inner loveliness, and yet you base your entire book on a relationship that places physical beauty and prowess on the highest possible bullshit pedestal, having Bethany rabbit forever about how hot Xavier is, how beautiful angels are, and how she couldn't live without Xavier's eyes or muscles or what have you.
It's this kind of ridiculous, wishy-washy bullshit that gives YA such horrible press.
To conclude?
This is shallow, unbelievable, pretentious tripe with a very sad moral background. I hate Bethany, and Xavier, and Jake. They're walking clichés. Ivy is barely there, and fulfills her duty on this mission by anchoring herself to the kitchen and the church. Phantom and Alice add nothing to the story and are just plot devices so that Bethany's sickly sweet nature can win our stony hearts.
What a shameless character she is. I can't stand her. If I met her, I'd slap her six ways to Sunday.
The writing is clumsy, forced, clichéd and incorrectly punctuated. Very occasionally there's this little spark, but then it's drowned in a bath of purple prose, never to resurface. Bethany is the dreadful product of author self-insertion, and the whole thing is just so mind-numbingly cheesy that it practically oozes mozzarella.
There is no plot to this book. A good editing job could have sliced it down to about 150 pages, and even then the watery excuse for a villain and Bethany's perfection would still have made me barf into my hair. Why did 'Our Father' (Note: Incorrect caps. Capitalizing the possessive 'our' suggests that the angels themselves are divine, when really God is the only one who should be capitalized in this equation.) send the 'Agents of Light' to an English-speaking upper middle class town where everybody is getting on with their lives just fine?
How convenient, no? How fortunate for Bethany to have arrived in a place where she can fall in 'love' with a rich white boy with a nice family and perfect health. The sad thing about this book is that it was almost a cool idea, and if it had been executed better it could have been awesome. For example, both race and crosses in class and tradition could have been explored if a little more thought had been put into it. What if Bethany and her cohorts had been sent to a remote area of Africa where Bethany has to juggle both her good deeds and growing love for a male tribe member who intrigues her with customs and beliefs that are so different to the ones of the western children she is accustomed to? What if Bethany had been entered into a war zone where she had to save the people from constant threats of violence while gradually being drawn to a young soldier on the opposing side? What moral dilemma would this pose?
It's not hard to think outside the box - or at least it shouldn't be for a serious author. Books, especially those aimed at young people, should be more than stupid pointless fluff. Young minds absorb values and subliminal messages like sponges, and if you're teaching this generation views that were only relevant in the twenties when women were not persons, then what kind of development do you expect for future feminism? Today's YA does not even have to reflect the depth of 1984 or A Tale Of Two Cities, it just has to prove something meaningful in the eyes of readers. If it doesn't, then what's the point? I could learn more about the value of love and healthy body image by watching Say Yes To The Dress!
One star for unintentional comedy. And that is all.(less)
May 27, 2012
Frankenstein
rated it
1 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
Preteens who like to read garbage
Shelves:
stupid

WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN??? This has to be one of the WORST books ever written. Everything in this book annoyed me. It was terrible in every way: badly thought-out plot, hypocritically religious, with really (and I mean really) shallow characters. Did I mention it is was a hypocritical book? Can I emphasis on hypocritical? I'm not even a Catholic! But this book, it just... ARGGHHH!!!It is so frustrating, I cannot describe it in words.
To be honest, it was the Catholic's version of Twilight. I felt...more

WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN??? This has to be one of the WORST books ever written. Everything in this book annoyed me. It was terrible in every way: badly thought-out plot, hypocritically religious, with really (and I mean really) shallow characters. Did I mention it is was a hypocritical book? Can I emphasis on hypocritical? I'm not even a Catholic! But this book, it just... ARGGHHH!!!It is so frustrating, I cannot describe it in words.
To be honest, it was the Catholic's version of Twilight. I felt like the author copy and pasted Twilight, than changed everyone's name.
Cheesy love, stupid damsel in distress, unrealistic boyfriend, and an awkward projection of God(?) and purgatory/heaven/hell(?)
Its gets on my nerves that the author started writing this book with a strange and rigidly religious sense and at the same time be so - SO narrow minded about everything. Her religious views(observed through her book) are based off artificial foundations. Hey, hate to break it to you Adornetto, but life is not based on how good looking you are!
The characters are all shallow....so, so shallow. It makes me sad. I didn't even bother to learn the name of any of the characters. My first impression of the book after the 2nd chapter? I can't believe this was published!! GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! JUST WRITING THIS REVIEW IS GETTING ME WORKED UP!!!!!!!!!!!
If I ever get the chance, I'm going to shove Alexandra Adornetto into a hole and cement it shut so that she will never again, make garbage. Sigh... I'm not even a religious person.

OH! I'm also pretty sure an angel would be sent to an improvished town and help the poor. All the main character does is: go to a private prep school and walk down the beach to eyeball hot guys. I mean, I don't find anything wrong at staring at hot guys - HECK, I do it all the time. But the main character is a freaking ANGEL. AN ANGEL. Doesn't she have angel duties to attend to? Like I dunno: help humanity? Save a hobo? Feed starving children??? Instead of going to a private school for the wealthy and date really rich kids. Why are you attending a rich private school where people can feed themselves?? . In the book, why are an Angel's only capable ability is charity work and community service? I mean really. I am 100% positive angels are NOT that lame ...

As a simple observation, I also noticed that this book was aimed towards "white people". Maybe because I am not a white person (Asian and proud), I feel obligated to point out that everyone in the story was WHITE. All the angels, the boyfriend, any relevant character was white. (Maybe the author thinks that god is white...) isn't religion open for every race? I felt like the book had a double meaning for white supremacy.
I see white people

It was a dry, hard-to-read, un-refreshing, love story mixed in with hypocritical religious views.
The only redeeming quality of this book was the front of it. But like the old saying, never trust a book by it's cover. Halo might of had a pretty cover, but DAYUM. Everything inside is vile, putrid Twilight-wannabe.
In conclusion:
I HATED every single thing in this book with a passion that burns like a thousand suns. After I read it, I wanted to wash out my eyes with lemon juice and toilet water. I don't recommend it. Save your time, and read something else. DO NOT READ.
(less)
Uyen Vo
HAHAHA. LOL. Funny and pretty much true. :p but it's not uncommon to have all white characters, especially for a book of this nature.
Apr 09, 2013 10:05pm
Apr 09, 2013 10:05pm
Celine Armstrong
This was a brilliant review and i couldn't agree more about how awful this book is. You made me laugh so hard :)
How do you add pictures????
Apr 19, 2013 08:03am
How do you add pictures????
Apr 19, 2013 08:03am
EDIT: Okay, okay. The troll situation on this review is just starting to get out of hand, so I think I should clarify a few things. First of all, if you're too immature to tolerate other people's opinions, just don't read this review and write your own. Please. I respect your opinion, and if you like this book, that's totally fine with me. I just don't like it. I'm entitled to my opinion just as you're entitled to yours.
Secondly ... if you create a second fake account so that you can agree with...more EDIT: Okay, okay. The troll situation on this review is just starting to get out of hand, so I think I should clarify a few things. First of all, if you're too immature to tolerate other people's opinions, just don't read this review and write your own. Please. I respect your opinion, and if you like this book, that's totally fine with me. I just don't like it. I'm entitled to my opinion just as you're entitled to yours.
Secondly ... if you create a second fake account so that you can agree with your own comments on your first account, I will know it's you. Trust me. I've been on this website for like five years, I've seen every troll trick in the world, and I'm not an idiot. Let's not stoop to that level, shall we?
Thirdly. Yes, I do want to be an author someday. And yes, in this review I express some jealousy towards Alexandra Adornetto because she was able to get her book published so easily. What can I say? As a writer, it is difficult to see poorly-written books get published. But you trolls must understand a couple of things:
A) So, I mention in this review that I have submitted to agents and that I have received more rejections than I can count. Whether or not I can get a book published has nothing to do with my reviews, and you shouldn't be making personal attacks against me in the first place––but anyway, just because none of my work is published doesn't mean that I'm a "bad writer." In fact, I have been told by many agents that I am a good writer. Publishing is a difficult and complicated process, and contrary to popular belief, it has very little to do with how "good" a book is. It has more to do with what's marketable at the moment. And apparently, teens still want to read Twilight rip-offs. So anyway ... unless you actually know what publishing is like at all, I don't want to see any more of these comments about me being a bad writer and so on.
B) I didn't write this review purely out of spite or jealousy or anything like that. I genuinely did not like the book. Yes, I am envious that the publishing process was so easy for Adornetto. However, I am not envious of her actual book. This is not the type of story I want to write, nor the type of characters I want to create, etc. I'm not so immature that I would give a book a one-star rating just because I was somewhat jealous of the author. I mean hey, I'm jealous that S.E. Hinton got The Outsiders published when she was 16, but I love that book. Same goes for Mary Shelley, who wrote and published Frankenstein when she was 19. The difference is, I like their styles and I think their characters actually have depth. And in my opinion, their books are very good. So look, the fact that I can be jealous of other young writers has very little to do with whether or not I like their books. A good book is a good book. That's all there is to it.
So, yeah. Enough with the trolls. If you are closed-minded or immature and/or you just plain don't know what the heck you're talking about, kindly keep your mouth shut. Because trust me, I do not tolerate trolls. If you are a troll ...

Also, you will probably be attacked by an angry mob if you troll this review. If you don't believe me, just read through the comments and that should probably scare you off.
Now, now. Back to the actual review:
*Takes a deep breath* It's been a long time since a book pissed me off so much. To be perfectly honest, I am bitter. Very bitter. So if that makes me biased, so be it, but I can't help myself. I'm the same age as Alexandra Adornetto, and I've been trying to get published for about three years now. I've been working my butt off, writing and rewriting and editing and submitting to agents. And by now I've received more rejections than I can count, so ... that's rather discouraging. Then I read about this book, and how Adornetto first got published because she sent her manuscript off to HarperCollins one day, unagented, and they just decided to publish it. Wonderful. So I assume that means she's pretty awesome, right? … Unfortunately, not the case. Feel free to doubt me, but I think it's fair to say that I have written better than this, and I know I've read writing by authors her age or younger who are a lot more skilled than she is. So why is this book published? Why? It's really the kind of story I would tear to bits (figuratively) if I was asked to critique it on some sort of teen writing website.
Okay, I'll give Adornetto props for a few things. First of all, I understand how much work it is to be a teen writer. It's very difficult to juggle writing with schoolwork and your social life, etc. The fact that she had the patience to write a 500-page novel at her age is admirable. And I know she's been writing books since she was 14, so that's pretty cool. Also, her writing style isn't the most terrible in the world. But pretty much every other aspect of the book is very flat and clichéd.
My first impression of the book was not a good one. I open it up to see two quotes in the front page. One is a Shakespeare quote from Romeo and Juliet (Okay … a bit clichéd, but that's cool I guess). And sitting beneath it is … a Beyoncé quote. Beyoncé. You quoted Beyoncé at the beginning of your book. And it's not even a good quote, it's just "Baby I can see your halo / You know you're my saving grace." Oh, haha, that's funny because that song is called Halo and your book is called Halo … so you named your book after a Beyoncé song. How … creative. (Someone just shoot me now.)
On to the actual book. Let's begin with the characters. First of all, Bethany is one of the most boring and least likable main characters I have ever encountered. There's just … not much to say about her. She's an angel, she's unnaturally beautiful (and insists on reminding the reader of this at every chance she gets), innocently ignorant, needy, pathetic, whiney … oh, the list goes on and on. I just wanted to slap her. Her tone is just so two-dimensional. She's either making her "Humans are so silly!" remarks or her "Xavier is the love of my life and I neeeed him every moment of my life ever!" Ugh. She is supposedly an angel with special powers, yet she never seems to put these powers to use. She might as well have not had such powers at all. Basically all she could do was fly and occasionally heal people and herself (BTW, for some reason––she was able to save a girl who was bleeding to death after a car accident, but she didn't heal Xavier's ankle when he fractured it? Uhh, WHAT?!). Other than that, she obsessed over Xavier and got herself into dangers in which other people had to come and save her butt.
Her "siblings" were equally boring. The three of them together seemed rather pathetic to me. What I don't understand is, they were sent to earth in order to help this community become a better place, yet they hardly seem to accomplish this. All they do is sit around and learn to act human. So much for "battling the dark forces". I was expecting some epic fight scenes to come out of this book or something, but noooo.
Xavier was the stereotypical, "protective hot guy" who had absolutely no flaws. Oh yeah I forgot, he DID have a flaw: He has … baggage. Yup, his girlfriend who he was very much in love with (supposedly) died in a tragic accident, so he will never love again! Oh, unless you're a sexy angel and for God knows what reason your hotness changes his mind (and it's nothing but your hotness, considering you have absolutely no personality). *eyeroll*
Then there were Bethany's human "friends". Oh. Dear. God. Don't even get me started. It was like a freaking joke. Adornetto surrounds Bethany with the world's most shallow and boring characters, probably just to make Bethany look even more angelic. At the center of this crowd of cardboard characters is Molly, but other than that there's a handful of other random girls who show up here and there––and jeez, you'd think Adornetto wouldn't be sexist considering she's a girl and has probably been stereotyped before. *Long pause* But, no. All of these teen girl characters were portrayed as disgustingly shallow. I am not exaggerating when I say that they ONLY talked about boys, clothes, make-up, prom, etc. Molly spent the entirety of the book mooning over Bethany's brother Gabriel and changing herself in any way possible in order to get his attention. It was really just … offensive. How you could get away with such grotesquely boring side-characters, I don't even know. But it made me feel insulted––both as a woman and as a writer.
Then there was the plot––or lack thereof, rather. 500 pages of … well … pretty much nothing. And what little plot was leftover was painfully predictable. I don't understand what kind of editor allowed this book to be so long, when about half (or more) of it could have (and should have) been cut out. The beginning was very slow, filled with pointless descriptions and info dumps. The (extremely boring and stereotypical) villain, Jake Thorn, didn't even appear until more than halfway through the book, at which point he just seemed like an afterthought. ("Oh yeah … I said something about 'dark forces', didn't I? Shoot, better add that in somewhere!") Before that, the reader must agonize through Bethany essentially obsessing over how hot and perfect and wonderful Xavier is for three hundred pages. Then there's the whole thing where Xavier can't go to prom (because he fractured his ankle and got a concussion, and for some odd reason Bethany conveniently forgets about her healing powers) so Bethany goes with Jake, because for some reason she's decided that they're friends, even though he has seemed like a creep the entire time. They become Prom King and Prom Queen (of course), he makes out with her and someone takes a picture (*gasp!*) and Xavier sees it on Facebook (Really? You seriously used Facebook to propel your plot forward? Oh please …). Then Xavier and Beth break up for a whole two days (or maybe it was just one, I don't remember) before they come rushing back to each other––because they are soulmaaaates and not being together for that short period of time just KILLS them! How beautiful! There are a few freak accidents, one of Bethany's "friends" "commits suicide", Jake attempts to sacrifice Molly and a bunch of other kids, Bethany stops him but gets kidnapped, he beats her up and fills her brain with all the horrors of the world, then does she finally do anything awesome and kickass to save herself? … hahahahaha. No. Of course, as she's writhing and dying on the floor, her angel-siblings and Xavier come crashing through the wall to save her. HOORAY, how convenient. Then guess how they get rid of Jake?! Go on! Guess, guess! They stab him? They make him go up in flames? Nooooo. See, angels each have a special skill, and Bethany has been struggling to find hers. And luckily at that very moment, she discovers that her power to kill demons is … WITH THE POWER OF LOVE. Bahahahaha. No, really. I wish I was kidding. Of course, I'm not surprised by the lame, cop-out ending. Judging by the quality of the book, I wouldn't have been surprised if Bethany's special ability had been to make magic sparkling bubbles come out her butt. … Actually, I would have been surprised, because it wouldn't have been so ridiculously predictable. But still … *GAG*
So, some other things that bothered me:
Supposedly the angels could conceal their wings under their clothes because they are "paper thin". Firstly … No, not even. Bethany has these, like, huge-ass wings on the cover. She wouldn't be able to hide those, even if they were really thin! If I stuffed paper up the back of my shirt, it would still look weird. And if their wings are so thin, then how the frick do they WORK? Because they're magic? And if so, why do they even need wings in the first place?! And every time the angels went flying, they would just let their wings tear through the back of their clothing. WHAT?! Are they razor-sharp too? And if you always just ruin your clothes every time you go flying, why don't you just cut slits in the back of your shirt, or even bother wearing clothes at all? Eesh.
Another thing. The religious aspect. Okay, I know that it's a book about angels––and other angel books seem to avoid the topic. So I get it; if there are angels, there is a God. But there were times when the book verged on preachy. And it annoyed me.
Then there was the way Bethany was so afraid of human pain and suffering. At one point she says that she can't bear watching the news and hearing about starving people and violence, blah blah. Hmm. Well maybe if you did your freaking job, Bethany, instead of mooning over your boring boyfriend, the world would be a better place!!!! *slap*
All right, well I think that about sums it up. For the most part, this book is a boring waste of paper. To sum it up, it is sexist, predictable, and clichéd. Don't waste your time. I pray to God that I am not delusional and that I actually write better than this …
*Edit*
I bumped this down to one star. (It used to be two.) It's been about a year since I read this and I still feel like my brain cells are exploding every time I think about it. Even when I dislike a book, thinking about it doesn't usually make me so furious. Plus I've been reading a lot of others' reviews of it, and reading quotes from the book reminded me of how cringe-worthy this book was.
Also, I was curious about the author so I was just looking up interviews with her. Ooh, here's a good one: http://naughtybookkitties.blogspot.co...
I look up to writers who’ve only written one book in their lifetime but it was an incredible success that captured that imagination of people across the globe. I would include people like J.D Salinger, Harper Lee and Margaret Mitchell.
Uhhh J.D. Salinger wrote more than one book. And a lot of short stories.
Oh, I wish there was a real life Xavier! I think I wrote him because I was so disappointed with the teenage boys in my life! I thought, if I can’t find the perfect guy then I’ll make him up!! I’ve taken the positive elements from the boys I know and put them together to create a super-boy. I’m still waiting on the real-life version. He’d better hurry the heck up! I haven’t given up hope that he exists yet.
The best thing about writing HALO was creating Xavier and developing a tiny (massive) crush on him in the process.
I––I don't even know where to start. I think I might actually cry. Or puke. Or both.
This is the epitome of HOW TO NOT CREATE A CHARACTER. No. Just no. No no NO NO NO no no NOOoooo. I can't say NO enough times. You do not create a character to be your ideal "super-boy." Characters are supposed to be realistic. They're supposed to have flaws. They are supposed to act like real human beings. Also, if Xavier is your idea of a perfect boyfriend, I'm terrified for you, Ally dear––seeing as Xavier is an overprotective creep, not to mention boring as heck.
Well anyway, I should be doing my homework right now. So. I'm going to get back to that.(less)
Secondly ... if you create a second fake account so that you can agree with...more EDIT: Okay, okay. The troll situation on this review is just starting to get out of hand, so I think I should clarify a few things. First of all, if you're too immature to tolerate other people's opinions, just don't read this review and write your own. Please. I respect your opinion, and if you like this book, that's totally fine with me. I just don't like it. I'm entitled to my opinion just as you're entitled to yours.
Secondly ... if you create a second fake account so that you can agree with your own comments on your first account, I will know it's you. Trust me. I've been on this website for like five years, I've seen every troll trick in the world, and I'm not an idiot. Let's not stoop to that level, shall we?
Thirdly. Yes, I do want to be an author someday. And yes, in this review I express some jealousy towards Alexandra Adornetto because she was able to get her book published so easily. What can I say? As a writer, it is difficult to see poorly-written books get published. But you trolls must understand a couple of things:
A) So, I mention in this review that I have submitted to agents and that I have received more rejections than I can count. Whether or not I can get a book published has nothing to do with my reviews, and you shouldn't be making personal attacks against me in the first place––but anyway, just because none of my work is published doesn't mean that I'm a "bad writer." In fact, I have been told by many agents that I am a good writer. Publishing is a difficult and complicated process, and contrary to popular belief, it has very little to do with how "good" a book is. It has more to do with what's marketable at the moment. And apparently, teens still want to read Twilight rip-offs. So anyway ... unless you actually know what publishing is like at all, I don't want to see any more of these comments about me being a bad writer and so on.
B) I didn't write this review purely out of spite or jealousy or anything like that. I genuinely did not like the book. Yes, I am envious that the publishing process was so easy for Adornetto. However, I am not envious of her actual book. This is not the type of story I want to write, nor the type of characters I want to create, etc. I'm not so immature that I would give a book a one-star rating just because I was somewhat jealous of the author. I mean hey, I'm jealous that S.E. Hinton got The Outsiders published when she was 16, but I love that book. Same goes for Mary Shelley, who wrote and published Frankenstein when she was 19. The difference is, I like their styles and I think their characters actually have depth. And in my opinion, their books are very good. So look, the fact that I can be jealous of other young writers has very little to do with whether or not I like their books. A good book is a good book. That's all there is to it.
So, yeah. Enough with the trolls. If you are closed-minded or immature and/or you just plain don't know what the heck you're talking about, kindly keep your mouth shut. Because trust me, I do not tolerate trolls. If you are a troll ...

Also, you will probably be attacked by an angry mob if you troll this review. If you don't believe me, just read through the comments and that should probably scare you off.
Now, now. Back to the actual review:
*Takes a deep breath* It's been a long time since a book pissed me off so much. To be perfectly honest, I am bitter. Very bitter. So if that makes me biased, so be it, but I can't help myself. I'm the same age as Alexandra Adornetto, and I've been trying to get published for about three years now. I've been working my butt off, writing and rewriting and editing and submitting to agents. And by now I've received more rejections than I can count, so ... that's rather discouraging. Then I read about this book, and how Adornetto first got published because she sent her manuscript off to HarperCollins one day, unagented, and they just decided to publish it. Wonderful. So I assume that means she's pretty awesome, right? … Unfortunately, not the case. Feel free to doubt me, but I think it's fair to say that I have written better than this, and I know I've read writing by authors her age or younger who are a lot more skilled than she is. So why is this book published? Why? It's really the kind of story I would tear to bits (figuratively) if I was asked to critique it on some sort of teen writing website.
Okay, I'll give Adornetto props for a few things. First of all, I understand how much work it is to be a teen writer. It's very difficult to juggle writing with schoolwork and your social life, etc. The fact that she had the patience to write a 500-page novel at her age is admirable. And I know she's been writing books since she was 14, so that's pretty cool. Also, her writing style isn't the most terrible in the world. But pretty much every other aspect of the book is very flat and clichéd.
My first impression of the book was not a good one. I open it up to see two quotes in the front page. One is a Shakespeare quote from Romeo and Juliet (Okay … a bit clichéd, but that's cool I guess). And sitting beneath it is … a Beyoncé quote. Beyoncé. You quoted Beyoncé at the beginning of your book. And it's not even a good quote, it's just "Baby I can see your halo / You know you're my saving grace." Oh, haha, that's funny because that song is called Halo and your book is called Halo … so you named your book after a Beyoncé song. How … creative. (Someone just shoot me now.)
On to the actual book. Let's begin with the characters. First of all, Bethany is one of the most boring and least likable main characters I have ever encountered. There's just … not much to say about her. She's an angel, she's unnaturally beautiful (and insists on reminding the reader of this at every chance she gets), innocently ignorant, needy, pathetic, whiney … oh, the list goes on and on. I just wanted to slap her. Her tone is just so two-dimensional. She's either making her "Humans are so silly!" remarks or her "Xavier is the love of my life and I neeeed him every moment of my life ever!" Ugh. She is supposedly an angel with special powers, yet she never seems to put these powers to use. She might as well have not had such powers at all. Basically all she could do was fly and occasionally heal people and herself (BTW, for some reason––she was able to save a girl who was bleeding to death after a car accident, but she didn't heal Xavier's ankle when he fractured it? Uhh, WHAT?!). Other than that, she obsessed over Xavier and got herself into dangers in which other people had to come and save her butt.
Her "siblings" were equally boring. The three of them together seemed rather pathetic to me. What I don't understand is, they were sent to earth in order to help this community become a better place, yet they hardly seem to accomplish this. All they do is sit around and learn to act human. So much for "battling the dark forces". I was expecting some epic fight scenes to come out of this book or something, but noooo.
Xavier was the stereotypical, "protective hot guy" who had absolutely no flaws. Oh yeah I forgot, he DID have a flaw: He has … baggage. Yup, his girlfriend who he was very much in love with (supposedly) died in a tragic accident, so he will never love again! Oh, unless you're a sexy angel and for God knows what reason your hotness changes his mind (and it's nothing but your hotness, considering you have absolutely no personality). *eyeroll*
Then there were Bethany's human "friends". Oh. Dear. God. Don't even get me started. It was like a freaking joke. Adornetto surrounds Bethany with the world's most shallow and boring characters, probably just to make Bethany look even more angelic. At the center of this crowd of cardboard characters is Molly, but other than that there's a handful of other random girls who show up here and there––and jeez, you'd think Adornetto wouldn't be sexist considering she's a girl and has probably been stereotyped before. *Long pause* But, no. All of these teen girl characters were portrayed as disgustingly shallow. I am not exaggerating when I say that they ONLY talked about boys, clothes, make-up, prom, etc. Molly spent the entirety of the book mooning over Bethany's brother Gabriel and changing herself in any way possible in order to get his attention. It was really just … offensive. How you could get away with such grotesquely boring side-characters, I don't even know. But it made me feel insulted––both as a woman and as a writer.
Then there was the plot––or lack thereof, rather. 500 pages of … well … pretty much nothing. And what little plot was leftover was painfully predictable. I don't understand what kind of editor allowed this book to be so long, when about half (or more) of it could have (and should have) been cut out. The beginning was very slow, filled with pointless descriptions and info dumps. The (extremely boring and stereotypical) villain, Jake Thorn, didn't even appear until more than halfway through the book, at which point he just seemed like an afterthought. ("Oh yeah … I said something about 'dark forces', didn't I? Shoot, better add that in somewhere!") Before that, the reader must agonize through Bethany essentially obsessing over how hot and perfect and wonderful Xavier is for three hundred pages. Then there's the whole thing where Xavier can't go to prom (because he fractured his ankle and got a concussion, and for some odd reason Bethany conveniently forgets about her healing powers) so Bethany goes with Jake, because for some reason she's decided that they're friends, even though he has seemed like a creep the entire time. They become Prom King and Prom Queen (of course), he makes out with her and someone takes a picture (*gasp!*) and Xavier sees it on Facebook (Really? You seriously used Facebook to propel your plot forward? Oh please …). Then Xavier and Beth break up for a whole two days (or maybe it was just one, I don't remember) before they come rushing back to each other––because they are soulmaaaates and not being together for that short period of time just KILLS them! How beautiful! There are a few freak accidents, one of Bethany's "friends" "commits suicide", Jake attempts to sacrifice Molly and a bunch of other kids, Bethany stops him but gets kidnapped, he beats her up and fills her brain with all the horrors of the world, then does she finally do anything awesome and kickass to save herself? … hahahahaha. No. Of course, as she's writhing and dying on the floor, her angel-siblings and Xavier come crashing through the wall to save her. HOORAY, how convenient. Then guess how they get rid of Jake?! Go on! Guess, guess! They stab him? They make him go up in flames? Nooooo. See, angels each have a special skill, and Bethany has been struggling to find hers. And luckily at that very moment, she discovers that her power to kill demons is … WITH THE POWER OF LOVE. Bahahahaha. No, really. I wish I was kidding. Of course, I'm not surprised by the lame, cop-out ending. Judging by the quality of the book, I wouldn't have been surprised if Bethany's special ability had been to make magic sparkling bubbles come out her butt. … Actually, I would have been surprised, because it wouldn't have been so ridiculously predictable. But still … *GAG*
So, some other things that bothered me:
Supposedly the angels could conceal their wings under their clothes because they are "paper thin". Firstly … No, not even. Bethany has these, like, huge-ass wings on the cover. She wouldn't be able to hide those, even if they were really thin! If I stuffed paper up the back of my shirt, it would still look weird. And if their wings are so thin, then how the frick do they WORK? Because they're magic? And if so, why do they even need wings in the first place?! And every time the angels went flying, they would just let their wings tear through the back of their clothing. WHAT?! Are they razor-sharp too? And if you always just ruin your clothes every time you go flying, why don't you just cut slits in the back of your shirt, or even bother wearing clothes at all? Eesh.
Another thing. The religious aspect. Okay, I know that it's a book about angels––and other angel books seem to avoid the topic. So I get it; if there are angels, there is a God. But there were times when the book verged on preachy. And it annoyed me.
Then there was the way Bethany was so afraid of human pain and suffering. At one point she says that she can't bear watching the news and hearing about starving people and violence, blah blah. Hmm. Well maybe if you did your freaking job, Bethany, instead of mooning over your boring boyfriend, the world would be a better place!!!! *slap*
All right, well I think that about sums it up. For the most part, this book is a boring waste of paper. To sum it up, it is sexist, predictable, and clichéd. Don't waste your time. I pray to God that I am not delusional and that I actually write better than this …
*Edit*
I bumped this down to one star. (It used to be two.) It's been about a year since I read this and I still feel like my brain cells are exploding every time I think about it. Even when I dislike a book, thinking about it doesn't usually make me so furious. Plus I've been reading a lot of others' reviews of it, and reading quotes from the book reminded me of how cringe-worthy this book was.
Also, I was curious about the author so I was just looking up interviews with her. Ooh, here's a good one: http://naughtybookkitties.blogspot.co...
I look up to writers who’ve only written one book in their lifetime but it was an incredible success that captured that imagination of people across the globe. I would include people like J.D Salinger, Harper Lee and Margaret Mitchell.
Uhhh J.D. Salinger wrote more than one book. And a lot of short stories.
Oh, I wish there was a real life Xavier! I think I wrote him because I was so disappointed with the teenage boys in my life! I thought, if I can’t find the perfect guy then I’ll make him up!! I’ve taken the positive elements from the boys I know and put them together to create a super-boy. I’m still waiting on the real-life version. He’d better hurry the heck up! I haven’t given up hope that he exists yet.
The best thing about writing HALO was creating Xavier and developing a tiny (massive) crush on him in the process.
I––I don't even know where to start. I think I might actually cry. Or puke. Or both.
This is the epitome of HOW TO NOT CREATE A CHARACTER. No. Just no. No no NO NO NO no no NOOoooo. I can't say NO enough times. You do not create a character to be your ideal "super-boy." Characters are supposed to be realistic. They're supposed to have flaws. They are supposed to act like real human beings. Also, if Xavier is your idea of a perfect boyfriend, I'm terrified for you, Ally dear––seeing as Xavier is an overprotective creep, not to mention boring as heck.
Well anyway, I should be doing my homework right now. So. I'm going to get back to that.(less)
Honestly, I think when I read this book, my brain cells died a little bit.
First of all, Bethany is a total idiot and is so clueless that I don't know how she even remembered to breathe when she woke up every morning.
Bethany: *wakes up in the morning and starts turning blue and thinks, ohhhh what am I supposed to do? It's really important...... *
Me: yes! Die, Bethany, die!
Bethany: *body begins to spasm as it's deprived of air it's on the tip of my tongue.... *
Me: No you don't! It's all a dr...more Honestly, I think when I read this book, my brain cells died a little bit.
First of all, Bethany is a total idiot and is so clueless that I don't know how she even remembered to breathe when she woke up every morning.
Bethany: *wakes up in the morning and starts turning blue and thinks, ohhhh what am I supposed to do? It's really important...... *
Me: yes! Die, Bethany, die!
Bethany: *body begins to spasm as it's deprived of air it's on the tip of my tongue.... *
Me: No you don't! It's all a dream; you don't need anything!
Bethany: * Oh, yeah, I remember! Breathe...or whatever! body takes a huge racking breath*
Me: Awwww dammit.
That's not even an over-exaggeration people; this is one idiot narrator. She doesn't even know what freaking toothpaste is for, or how to even brush her teeth! And her boyfriend has to remind her to drink water because she can't possibly remember that herself. Then, to add insult to injury, every other page she gets those "cramps" in her chest whenever she's far away from her hubby. You know what those pains really are Bethany? I'm not really sorry to inform you, but those pains in your chest are more than likely mini heart attacks that will lead to one major one that ends your pathetic life. So you should probably go to the hospital tomorrow, as long as you remember to breathe next morning and don't die that way first.
Please just die.
And what the hell (pun half intended) is up with the name Bethany? Even her lust love interest Xavier has a more angelic name than she does! I honestly don't think it's that hard to come up with a more angelic name than that, anything than that. It took me about two seconds to go online, type angelic names, and find these names of some actual female angels (although some debate whether female angels exist, but just for argument's sake, lets assume that there is):
1. Anahita
2. Anauel
3. Ananchel
4. Barbelo
5. Bath Kol
6. Gazardiel
Wasn't that easy, folks!
Now, I understand that if you enrolled into a normal, 21st century school with a name like Bath Kol, Barbelo, or Anahita, that you would be given many stares and probably wouldn't be best if you're trying to stay "under the radar" *gag* and change it to a more common name like Bethany. Sadly, Bethany never says she has a different name, and that's what she was given by God, so obviously Adornetto didn't have the foresight to think that up. I guess the poor guy upstairs has just been around too long to care about what he names his angels, who just aren't that important anyways, right?
Gah.
While we're talking about upstairs, may I just say that Adornetto failed in describing it and the angels who I guess floated around up there. From what I've read in the Bible, whenever people meet angels and see their true forms they are completely, totally, and utterly terrified and the angels have to calm them down. The way Adornetto describes them, as big floating balls of light or essence or whatever isn't exactly terrifying. If an angel came down from heaven whose name was Bert and said "do not be afraid" as a big ball of light, I'd probably snigger and then one of my younger cousins would think it's a huge firefly and trap it in a jar. Then I'd have to tell the poor fella to let Bert go, because he has more important angelic things to do, like watch himself glow.

Hey, guys! Bert's back to play!
Coming back to how she described Heaven, I guess you could say more like the lack of description. Yay, a lot of puffy clouds, so it must be Heaven!
Her description of it reminds me of my little sister. We have a town near us that ends in "haven" but my sister-being only five-thought it said "heaven" so whenever we got close to the sign of it on the highway, she'd go, "are we in heaven yet?" Now we'd all say "awwww" because it was freaking adorable, but we know it's wrong. That's how it is with Adornetto; it's kind of cute that she tried (not even nearly as adorable as my sister), but she just missed the mark. By a mile.
See, even the puppy agrees with me! It's just a no, Adornetto. You can't argue with the cute.
While we're still on the topic of Adornetto's heaven I'd honestly be pretty scared if Bethany was my guide to Heaven since that's what she describes her job as. She'd probably pick up my little ball of light and let it slip through her fingers and I'd fall back through clouds. That's probably why she got sent down to Earth to find all of the little balls of light that she dropped, the klutz.
Yeah, I kind of hate this chick.
Since we're on the whole mission subject, there's one big thing that I don't understand: why on Heaven and hell and Earth above would God send one of the highest Archangels, Gabriel, to a sleepy little costal town when, according to them, this is only a slightly important place and there are much bigger battles being fought around the world? Throughout history there is one main constant during war: you send your best men to the most important spots of battle because the big battles like Normandy, Gettysburg, Stalingrad, and so on are the fights that can be the "turning point" of the war. You just do not send someone with the strength like Gabriel supposedly has to somewhere like that. And he didn't even do anything! He just "learned to be a human" How does learning to be a human have anything to do with saving the world from darkness, exactly! I mean if that's all it took I could just learn to slither around like a snake, be high and mighty like a cat, totally ignorant to the what's going on around like a dog, and become the President of the United States. Oh, wait.........
But anyways......that's not good battle strategy and shows what little sense that Adornetto has.
I take that back; she has no sense at all.
Another proof of her having no sense is the whole stinking ending. I mean, wow, how.....zomg amazing! Their lurve is so high for each other that it burns so bright through Bethany that it saves the day! She couldn't have done it without him, who is supposedly a normal human, and she obviously couldn't escape the bonds herself, because only twu lurve conquers all!
......excuse me while I go throw up all of that garbage.
Okay, Bethany is all weak for a little while because of her new human body (because balls of light are so strong, too), but you can only use that excuse for so long and by the time she's kidnapped, I think she should have at least been able to break out of them herself. Sadly, that's not what happened because, according to Adornetto, that would make Bethany seem too strong and girls aren't able to do anything, not even think, without a big, capable guy like Xavier by her side! That's too much feminism for her! Not even Gabriel could have done it, who is higher up in the ladder in Heaven than Jake Thorn is in Hell, only Xavier could, our loser hewo! It just annoyed me so badly I think I screamed when it was over out of sheer frustration.
This quote from the synopsis really bothered me, especially one specific part. "They must work hard to conceal their luminous glow, superhuman powers, and, most dangerous of all, their wings, all the while avoiding all human attachments."
Can you guess it?
If you guessed "luminous glow" you're right! I understand that they might have to slightly strain themselves to hide the rest, heck, if I was an angel I'd probably have a mini-romance with my gorgeous wings, but their luminescence? Unless they have no self control I don't think it's that hard to hide light. They'd be (and they were) pretty awful undercover agents if they can't snuff out a simple light. It's not like in Unearthly (which is everything Halo isn't) where she can't tell when she's going to suddenly burst into light, these guys in Halo just have a soft, cutsey little light that shouldn't require that much strain; they're heavenly beings, they should probably have enough control if they were picked for this!
And don't even get my started on the "avoiding all human attachments" part. If you can't tell from the rest of my review; that's the biggest piece of bullshit I've ever heard.
Ugh. Curse stupid plots that don't make any sense.
Xavier and Bethany's "love" was what really got me. You meet the guy one time on the beach and you talk to him a couple times in/out of school and that automatically qualifies him as someone who is "trustworthy" enough to show him your true identity and is your "one twu love". Since Adornetto once again didn't study up on angelic lore, I'll fill you guys in:
If you're an angel, God is your one and only love and if you even get slight feelings for anyone else, well, God is a jealous dude and will banish your sorry ass from Heaven for the rest of your existence. So, in all actuality, the very second that Bethany even felt the teeny tiniest feelings of like or love for Xavier, God would have stripped her of her wings and banished her. Then Bethany would have had to spend the rest of eternity pouting and not realizing why she did what she did was so, like, wrong! I guess not even the big man upstairs wanted to curse Earth with that and just let her do whatever the hell she wanted, even reveal her true identity to Xavier! If God gave her a name like Bethany, he's probably too busy with the rest of the Berts and Jim-Bobs getting trapped in jars around the Earth to notice such a huge infraction.
.......I think I'm going to be sick again.
I have a question. Why were all of the angels in this story only white? It kind of reminds me of how many churches and television shows picture Jesus: as a white man. If I remember correctly from the Bible, he was born in Bethlehem, Jerusalem and whether or not you believe he was Christ, just a prophet, a crazy person, or someone that never even existed, if he had been born in that region of the world, he definitely wasn't white. He would have had much darker skin and pretty much what you see when you look at your average middle-eastern man today. The only reason he went all Michael Jackson when you see pictures and such of him now is the church and the racist sentiments of people during that time. They couldn't possibly imagine the person they viewed to be their savior as, in their opinion, some dirty, savage, middle-eastern man, so in order to make him more popular with the rest of Europe and spread the religion they turned him white.
So, if God's own son wasn't white, what's to say the angels up in heaven aren't from multiple races? I think it's just very closed-off of Adornetto to only make the angels that we have seen thus far white. Would it kill her to make even some part of her book good? Not all people in this world who are right and just are white people. And that can be proven by just walking down the street of wherever you live, so for her not to include people of other races as angels just makes her seem very naive about how the world actually works.
I'll finish the rest of this review later when it's not almost one in the morning. But, yeah, I hated this book with a passion. (less)
First of all, Bethany is a total idiot and is so clueless that I don't know how she even remembered to breathe when she woke up every morning.
Bethany: *wakes up in the morning and starts turning blue and thinks, ohhhh what am I supposed to do? It's really important...... *
Me: yes! Die, Bethany, die!
Bethany: *body begins to spasm as it's deprived of air it's on the tip of my tongue.... *
Me: No you don't! It's all a dr...more Honestly, I think when I read this book, my brain cells died a little bit.
First of all, Bethany is a total idiot and is so clueless that I don't know how she even remembered to breathe when she woke up every morning.
Bethany: *wakes up in the morning and starts turning blue and thinks, ohhhh what am I supposed to do? It's really important...... *
Me: yes! Die, Bethany, die!
Bethany: *body begins to spasm as it's deprived of air it's on the tip of my tongue.... *
Me: No you don't! It's all a dream; you don't need anything!
Bethany: * Oh, yeah, I remember! Breathe...or whatever! body takes a huge racking breath*
Me: Awwww dammit.
That's not even an over-exaggeration people; this is one idiot narrator. She doesn't even know what freaking toothpaste is for, or how to even brush her teeth! And her boyfriend has to remind her to drink water because she can't possibly remember that herself. Then, to add insult to injury, every other page she gets those "cramps" in her chest whenever she's far away from her hubby. You know what those pains really are Bethany? I'm
Please just die.
And what the hell (pun half intended) is up with the name Bethany? Even her
1. Anahita
2. Anauel
3. Ananchel
4. Barbelo
5. Bath Kol
6. Gazardiel
Wasn't that easy, folks!
Now, I understand that if you enrolled into a normal, 21st century school with a name like Bath Kol, Barbelo, or Anahita, that you would be given many stares and probably wouldn't be best if you're trying to stay "under the radar" *gag* and change it to a more common name like Bethany. Sadly, Bethany never says she has a different name, and that's what she was given by God, so obviously Adornetto didn't have the foresight to think that up. I guess the poor guy upstairs has just been around too long to care about what he names his angels, who just aren't that important anyways, right?
Gah.
While we're talking about upstairs, may I just say that Adornetto failed in describing it and the angels who I guess floated around up there. From what I've read in the Bible, whenever people meet angels and see their true forms they are completely, totally, and utterly terrified and the angels have to calm them down. The way Adornetto describes them, as big floating balls of light or essence or whatever isn't exactly terrifying. If an angel came down from heaven whose name was Bert and said "do not be afraid" as a big ball of light, I'd probably snigger and then one of my younger cousins would think it's a huge firefly and trap it in a jar. Then I'd have to tell the poor fella to let Bert go, because he has more important angelic things to do, like watch himself glow.

Hey, guys! Bert's back to play!
Coming back to how she described Heaven, I guess you could say more like the lack of description. Yay, a lot of puffy clouds, so it must be Heaven!
Her description of it reminds me of my little sister. We have a town near us that ends in "haven" but my sister-being only five-thought it said "heaven" so whenever we got close to the sign of it on the highway, she'd go, "are we in heaven yet?" Now we'd all say "awwww" because it was freaking adorable, but we know it's wrong. That's how it is with Adornetto; it's kind of cute that she tried (not even nearly as adorable as my sister), but she just missed the mark. By a mile.
See, even the puppy agrees with me! It's just a no, Adornetto. You can't argue with the cute.
While we're still on the topic of Adornetto's heaven I'd honestly be pretty scared if Bethany was my guide to Heaven since that's what she describes her job as. She'd probably pick up my little ball of light and let it slip through her fingers and I'd fall back through clouds. That's probably why she got sent down to Earth to find all of the little balls of light that she dropped, the klutz.
Yeah, I kind of hate this chick.
Since we're on the whole mission subject, there's one big thing that I don't understand: why on Heaven and hell and Earth above would God send one of the highest Archangels, Gabriel, to a sleepy little costal town when, according to them, this is only a slightly important place and there are much bigger battles being fought around the world? Throughout history there is one main constant during war: you send your best men to the most important spots of battle because the big battles like Normandy, Gettysburg, Stalingrad, and so on are the fights that can be the "turning point" of the war. You just do not send someone with the strength like Gabriel supposedly has to somewhere like that. And he didn't even do anything! He just "learned to be a human" How does learning to be a human have anything to do with saving the world from darkness, exactly! I mean if that's all it took I could just learn to slither around like a snake, be high and mighty like a cat, totally ignorant to the what's going on around like a dog, and become the President of the United States. Oh, wait.........
But anyways......that's not good battle strategy and shows what little sense that Adornetto has.
I take that back; she has no sense at all.
Another proof of her having no sense is the whole stinking ending. I mean, wow, how.....zomg amazing! Their lurve is so high for each other that it burns so bright through Bethany that it saves the day! She couldn't have done it without him, who is supposedly a normal human, and she obviously couldn't escape the bonds herself, because only twu lurve conquers all!
......excuse me while I go throw up all of that garbage.
Okay, Bethany is all weak for a little while because of her new human body (because balls of light are so strong, too), but you can only use that excuse for so long and by the time she's kidnapped, I think she should have at least been able to break out of them herself. Sadly, that's not what happened because, according to Adornetto, that would make Bethany seem too strong and girls aren't able to do anything, not even think, without a big, capable guy like Xavier by her side! That's too much feminism for her! Not even Gabriel could have done it, who is higher up in the ladder in Heaven than Jake Thorn is in Hell, only Xavier could, our
This quote from the synopsis really bothered me, especially one specific part. "They must work hard to conceal their luminous glow, superhuman powers, and, most dangerous of all, their wings, all the while avoiding all human attachments."
Can you guess it?
If you guessed "luminous glow" you're right! I understand that they might have to slightly strain themselves to hide the rest, heck, if I was an angel I'd probably have a mini-romance with my gorgeous wings, but their luminescence? Unless they have no self control I don't think it's that hard to hide light. They'd be (and they were) pretty awful undercover agents if they can't snuff out a simple light. It's not like in Unearthly (which is everything Halo isn't) where she can't tell when she's going to suddenly burst into light, these guys in Halo just have a soft, cutsey little light that shouldn't require that much strain; they're heavenly beings, they should probably have enough control if they were picked for this!
And don't even get my started on the "avoiding all human attachments" part. If you can't tell from the rest of my review; that's the biggest piece of bullshit I've ever heard.
Ugh. Curse stupid plots that don't make any sense.
Xavier and Bethany's "love" was what really got me. You meet the guy one time on the beach and you talk to him a couple times in/out of school and that automatically qualifies him as someone who is "trustworthy" enough to show him your true identity and is your "one twu love". Since Adornetto once again didn't study up on angelic lore, I'll fill you guys in:
If you're an angel, God is your one and only love and if you even get slight feelings for anyone else, well, God is a jealous dude and will banish your sorry ass from Heaven for the rest of your existence. So, in all actuality, the very second that Bethany even felt the teeny tiniest feelings of like or love for Xavier, God would have stripped her of her wings and banished her. Then Bethany would have had to spend the rest of eternity pouting and not realizing why she did what she did was so, like, wrong! I guess not even the big man upstairs wanted to curse Earth with that and just let her do whatever the hell she wanted, even reveal her true identity to Xavier! If God gave her a name like Bethany, he's probably too busy with the rest of the Berts and Jim-Bobs getting trapped in jars around the Earth to notice such a huge infraction.
.......I think I'm going to be sick again.
I have a question. Why were all of the angels in this story only white? It kind of reminds me of how many churches and television shows picture Jesus: as a white man. If I remember correctly from the Bible, he was born in Bethlehem, Jerusalem and whether or not you believe he was Christ, just a prophet, a crazy person, or someone that never even existed, if he had been born in that region of the world, he definitely wasn't white. He would have had much darker skin and pretty much what you see when you look at your average middle-eastern man today. The only reason he went all Michael Jackson when you see pictures and such of him now is the church and the racist sentiments of people during that time. They couldn't possibly imagine the person they viewed to be their savior as, in their opinion, some dirty, savage, middle-eastern man, so in order to make him more popular with the rest of Europe and spread the religion they turned him white.
So, if God's own son wasn't white, what's to say the angels up in heaven aren't from multiple races? I think it's just very closed-off of Adornetto to only make the angels that we have seen thus far white. Would it kill her to make even some part of her book good? Not all people in this world who are right and just are white people. And that can be proven by just walking down the street of wherever you live, so for her not to include people of other races as angels just makes her seem very naive about how the world actually works.
I'll finish the rest of this review later when it's not almost one in the morning. But, yeah, I hated this book with a passion. (less)
Reading this book was like watching Sinbad or Atlantis or any other one of those rubbish Disney movies that wanted to be like their original Princess classics but also new and fresh and imaginative.
It's lame. It wants to be classic and awesome but also new and different (and I use the word "different" with all the superiorly quasi-amusement of someone trying to praise a child and has nothing more positive to say. "Yes, Jenny, I see that you've put glue in your hair. That's so...different...")
The...more Reading this book was like watching Sinbad or Atlantis or any other one of those rubbish Disney movies that wanted to be like their original Princess classics but also new and fresh and imaginative.
It's lame. It wants to be classic and awesome but also new and different (and I use the word "different" with all the superiorly quasi-amusement of someone trying to praise a child and has nothing more positive to say. "Yes, Jenny, I see that you've put glue in your hair. That's so...different...")
The problem is that it utterly fails at new and different. Supernatural creature + human = Twue loff!
Except when the supernatural creature is the chick and she still manages to be lamer than Bella Swan, I call dibs on throwing popcorn (or bomb-infused popcorn depending on my mood.)
To be honest, I could go on about the many mistakes I saw within the first few chapters before I tossed the book out and decided I HAVE A LIFE, DAMNIT! (Wait, so Gabriel, who is not THE archangel Gabriel is a few centuries old - yet later you tell us he was there for the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah? Dude, that's not a few centuries old, that's several thousand years old.
I could talk about the writing or the I'M A CHARACTER!! style of characterization. But really, what's the point? It was written by a teenager who's only just barely drinking her first shots of passion-pop. That's like taking potshots at a toddler because he doesn't draw inside the lines. She'll hopefully grow and learn and get better.
Besides, I'm not even the target audience. This book is CLEARLY geared toward the kind of teenage girls who WANT to be helpless and taken care of and protected and cherished. Well, I'm not a girl, I'm a woman and I'm not interested in reading about pretty little princesses who would trip over their own billowing hemline if the charming hero wasn't around to rescue them (dashingly, may I add.)
So I'm not going to tear into it and lose my temper and imagine that with each punchy sentence and angry jab, I'm stabbing the author in the face. No. I'm going to do what I do when any other child proudly shows me their work with a big corny grin. I won't lie but I won't be mean either. The cover art is lovely, Adornetto, and I really like how you managed to get all the print onto the page!
So there you are. No supermean review. Seriously. She's a teenage girl. Sure the book pretty much sucks beyond all reckoning but I like to think I'm adult enough to give her a pat on the head, tell her to go play with the other kids while I talk to the adults.
But that doesn't mean I want to spend money on this shit...
(less)
It's lame. It wants to be classic and awesome but also new and different (and I use the word "different" with all the superiorly quasi-amusement of someone trying to praise a child and has nothing more positive to say. "Yes, Jenny, I see that you've put glue in your hair. That's so...different...")
The...more Reading this book was like watching Sinbad or Atlantis or any other one of those rubbish Disney movies that wanted to be like their original Princess classics but also new and fresh and imaginative.
It's lame. It wants to be classic and awesome but also new and different (and I use the word "different" with all the superiorly quasi-amusement of someone trying to praise a child and has nothing more positive to say. "Yes, Jenny, I see that you've put glue in your hair. That's so...different...")
The problem is that it utterly fails at new and different. Supernatural creature + human = Twue loff!
Except when the supernatural creature is the chick and she still manages to be lamer than Bella Swan, I call dibs on throwing popcorn (or bomb-infused popcorn depending on my mood.)
To be honest, I could go on about the many mistakes I saw within the first few chapters before I tossed the book out and decided I HAVE A LIFE, DAMNIT! (Wait, so Gabriel, who is not THE archangel Gabriel is a few centuries old - yet later you tell us he was there for the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah? Dude, that's not a few centuries old, that's several thousand years old.
I could talk about the writing or the I'M A CHARACTER!! style of characterization. But really, what's the point? It was written by a teenager who's only just barely drinking her first shots of passion-pop. That's like taking potshots at a toddler because he doesn't draw inside the lines. She'll hopefully grow and learn and get better.
Besides, I'm not even the target audience. This book is CLEARLY geared toward the kind of teenage girls who WANT to be helpless and taken care of and protected and cherished. Well, I'm not a girl, I'm a woman and I'm not interested in reading about pretty little princesses who would trip over their own billowing hemline if the charming hero wasn't around to rescue them (dashingly, may I add.)
So I'm not going to tear into it and lose my temper and imagine that with each punchy sentence and angry jab, I'm stabbing the author in the face. No. I'm going to do what I do when any other child proudly shows me their work with a big corny grin. I won't lie but I won't be mean either. The cover art is lovely, Adornetto, and I really like how you managed to get all the print onto the page!
So there you are. No supermean review. Seriously. She's a teenage girl. Sure the book pretty much sucks beyond all reckoning but I like to think I'm adult enough to give her a pat on the head, tell her to go play with the other kids while I talk to the adults.
But that doesn't mean I want to spend money on this shit...
(less)
Charlotte
Funny review, and entirely truthful. (Except for one thing. Sinbad was genius. DON'T DISS SINBAD.)
God, I hate Halo.
Nov 12, 2012 06:12am
God, I hate Halo.
Nov 12, 2012 06:12am
ShAdOwBrEaK *Just*Try*And*Know*Who*I*Am*
"Besides, I'm not even the target audience. This book is CLEARLY geared toward the kind of teenage girls who WANT to be helpless and taken care of and...more
"Besides, I'm not even the target audience. This book is CLEARLY geared toward the kind of teenage girls who WANT to be helpless and taken care of and protected and cherished. Well, I'm not a girl, I'm a woman and I'm not interested in reading about pretty little princesses who would trip over their own billowing hemline if the charming hero wasn't around to rescue them (dashingly, may I add.)"
I praise you for your awesomeness and your awesomeness's wording! You totally hit the nail on that one. I've got a friend who loved this book and I swear that's the mentality in her mind! HAHAHA. I love your reviews(less)
May 01, 2013 11:08pm
I praise you for your awesomeness and your awesomeness's wording! You totally hit the nail on that one. I've got a friend who loved this book and I swear that's the mentality in her mind! HAHAHA. I love your reviews(less)
May 01, 2013 11:08pm
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you a Goodreads original! If you would like the see the polite H.Y.P.E. review I wrote for this book, it's right here. I recommend you also read the quotes section after the review and all 124 of my status updates.
Reader, my brain is broken. Halo did it. Everything that follows will prove it.
Venus Cove issupposedly under attack by Agents of Darkness, so warrior Gabriel, healer Ivy, and itty bitty baby angel relatively young angel Bethany are sent there to battle evi...more
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you a Goodreads original! If you would like the see the polite H.Y.P.E. review I wrote for this book, it's right here. I recommend you also read the quotes section after the review and all 124 of my status updates.
Reader, my brain is broken. Halo did it. Everything that follows will prove it.
Venus Cove issupposedly under attack by Agents of Darkness, so warrior Gabriel, healer Ivy, and itty bitty baby angel relatively young angel Bethany are sent there to battle evil and kick its ass do good deeds and hope that restores people's faith in God and one another. Despite being told not to do so and that it could land her in big trouble, Bethany falls in lust love with Xavier Woods, a school captain. Their relationship faces trial after trial, from the objection of Bethany's angel siblings to the arrival of British student Jake Thorn, who seems to have his eye on Bethany.
Since this is the first flaw we're subjected to, we'll start with the writing. There is an overabundance of purple prose and many, many pages of needless description. We didn't need to know so much about the newspaper boy who saw them come to Earth, nor do we need to know every detail down to the wall trimming of the room Bethie is in. She even manages to purple it up over Xavier's name. A boy's name. A good red pen could have cut so much from this book and not hurt anything; in fact, it would have helped cut down on prose that was so purple that it made me green in the face. I skimmed way too many times to be healthy. The quotes section contains specific examples of her writing for the curious.
Thesecharacters caricatures characters suck. Pure and simple. None of the angels, especially Bethany, have any personality, and despite her saying angels just don't develop personalities, that doesn't fly. Characters need personalities and don't get exceptions because they're not human. Bethany in particular seems to turn her nose in the air around her human "friends." These humans surround her to try and make her look good in comparison to them, but it doesn't work. Bethany still looks like an awful person. Jake the villain (and you know he's the villain because Adornetto takes time out of her book to heavily foreshadow his role and make him look suspicious) isn't even a reprieve from the goody-goody perfect heroes; he's just as dull.
By the way, why does this demon from Hell need/get a British accent? Yes, villains are sometimes sexy and in most cases, British accents are sexy too. But villains with British accents are only sexy if done well, unlike with Jake here.
Xavier is similarly flawless in the worst way, but he's also so selfish that he would try to keep an angel from returning to God and her proper home in Heaven. His and Bethany's relationship screams, breathes, smells, sounds, and looks unhealthy and obsessive. These two fall in love instantly and their entire worlds shift so that without one another, they're more useless than a sack of cat droppings. At one infamous point, he forces her to eat when she doesn't want to. Not funny. Seriously. It's like he's babysitting her, not dating her. And they're both completely fine with this. But then Xavier refuses to listen to her side of the story after something happens. If they're so in love, why does he refuse to listen to her?
The plot holes, if combined, would create a hole large enough for Atlas to take the Earth off his shoulders and throw Earth through without the planet ever touching the edges of the hole. If Bethany has access to all human knowledge, how does she not know how to use a tube of lip gloss? If God has exiled angels from Heaven for their love/lust of mortals, why isn't Bethany a fallen angel? She has put her love for Xavier and desire to live as a teenager (which she shouldn't be concerned with anyways because she's here to do a job, not be a teenager) over her duty to God. That's plenty of grounds for exile, but she never falls. There are more plot holes I could go into. I won't.
Why are the angels even in Venus Cove? There really are places in better need of their help, even if Bethany doesn't want to be in those worse places because it breaks her poor widdle heart. Humanitarians get their hearts broken when they go to those sorts of places, but what do they do? They steel their hearts up and get to work helping the people that need help. The angels, instead of seeking out evil on their own and kicking its ass as would be appropriate, just sit around and wait for evil to strike and then clean up the mess like they're janitors cleaning up after that second-grader who threw up all over his desk. No action is taken until Bethany is threatened and by then, there have already been a lot of victims. Got it, angels. Humans = unimmportant, they can all just suffer. Bethany = ZOMG WE MUST RESCUE HER! What wonderful priorities.
The Foe Yay wasn't even any good! I am a sucker for that trope. A huge sucker. As long as there's some good Foe Yay, a book will win at least one eyelash-sized shard of my heart. But no, the Foe Yay with Jake and Bethany isn't anything I will go back and read when I want to read something fun. I think she was going for Foe Yay, too; if you have Foe Yay and I'm rolling my eyes, YOU HAVE SCREWED UP.
The treatment of minor characters that were human is revolting. Human girls are depicted as shallow creatures that only care about prom and boys; all human boys except for Xavier just want to get into a girl's pants. My book mantra is "an author is not their book," but there is an exception when the author is blatantly inserting their views and themselves into the book. Considering the virginity editorial and the "why teenage boys suck more than vampires" editorial, I feel there is more of Adornetto and her values in this book than I'm comfortable with.
Her presence within her own novel is disturbing because of the ideas presented within it. Just to start with, this book tells me you should judge people by their clothes because everyone knows Goths are either evil or under the influence of evil, Christianity is the only way, you're somehow impure once you have sex and your virginity is some BIG DEAL, and a young woman's actions can ruin the reputation of her entire family.
The book is also remarkably sexist. The girls, even the angels, are always on the sidelines. Gabriel takes on Bethany's mistakes as his own and that sends the message that girls can't be responsible for their own action because they're just silly women they don't know how to be responsible for themselves! The women are all passive, never taking steps forward on their own, and are the ones in need of saving. Even the dog is sexist! He won't sit when a female tells him to, but he does when a male tells him to.
Does this mean that Adornetto believes in all of this? Since the beliefs she expresses in both of her editorials creep into the book, how am I supposed to be able to sort out what expressed values are ones she holds and which ones she doesn't hold when almost all of them are outdated, offensive views? I often feel like I'm being preached at, where it's Adornetto speaking instead of Bethany, and I don't like that at all. If I wanted someone to preach to me, I would go to church.
Plot? Conflict? They were in this book? Well, I guess the plot stumbled in at the end of the book with a nearly-empty bottle of vodka in its hands and a suspicious smell on its breath, but the conflict never showed up. Must have gotten held up in traffic.
The book's climactic scene had me asking, "Are you KIDDING ME?" (As you can see from one of my updates.) That was... I feel like I've seen more of a ridiculous climactic scene, but this is in the top five. There wasn't even any tension to it; the entire time I read it, this song was playing in my head. (Yes, it came from that show. It was practically my childhood, so don't give me that look. I know I'm not the only one that watched it.)
There are also two things the author should never be allowed to touch ever again: classic literature and flowers. Romeo and Juliet, Jane Eyre, and "Annabel Lee" (I think there were others, but I'm already trying to block he book out of my head) were all brought in and Romeo and Juliet was misinterpreted yet again. It's about two teenagers in lust with each other and the conflict between their family that separates them, not an epic love story that ends in death.
I'm not an expert on it, but I have a special interest in flower language. Certain flowers have certain meanings and every time I include flowers in a story, even if it's only for one scene, I do heavy research to find a flower that will fit the mood and look good. Not Adornetto. Xavier comes over to dinner and brings yellow roses, which symbolize friendship or jealousy. Then (this is a good one), the corsage Xavier gives Bethany for prom has white rosebuds on it. White rosebuds symbolize girlhood, or a heart too young for or ignorant of love. My anger knew no bounds.
In general, I think Adornetto is allergic to research. An inverted pentagram like Jake wears later in the novel becomes a pentacle, which is a symbol of white magic and good. Research could have fixed that problem, and a good editor could have caught it too. There's also a point where Xavier has a concussion and yet he speaks clearly and in full sentences. I've had to take care of someone with a concussion. He slurred his words, tried to use short sentences to get what he wanted across, and is still experiencing dizzy spells over a month later. Xavier gets none of this.
If you're looking for a book that is pure snarkbait or something so mind-numbingly horrible that you will consider shoving your head through every pane of glass you can find, Halo is perfect. Otherwise, I beg you not to read it. Beg you!
Beg.
If the Halo-caused malfunction of my brain's filter and the temporary departure my my sanity hasn't convinced you not to read this book, what will?!
--Quotes Section Fun Time!--
Here are some fun quotes I pulled out from the book, usually for negative reasons, but some were just because they were just that stupid. I'm reading it on a Kindle, so no page citations.
I disagree. I think she's describing something closer to obsession. It's not healthy for your entire world to revolve around one person.
--
Most girls don't care about popularity or getting an athlete boyfriend. I don't and I take offense to the idea that most girls are like this. They're not. It makes human girls sound like idiots. Just change it to "some" and it would be fine.
--
So angels can only be white, then. Okay. Ick.
--
Thunder isn't a color, you dumb little shit! Thunder is a sound! (Unless you have that disease where you mix up your senses so that you taste sounds and see smells and stuff. But Bethie is too perfect for that.) (Also, his eyes are described as "the color of rain" and "steel gray" later in the book. Rain is also not gray; it's clear.)
--
No, they're more or less engaged when someone asks "Will you marry me?" and the other person says "Yes." Off-topic, but I've known four couples where one or both parties were still teenagers when they got officially engaged. All four of them broke up. One saved me from having a manipulative sister-in-law who was as crazy as all get-out and the other just made me happy because it meant a guy I hope burns in hell for what he did to me was unhappy, wouldn't be getting married, and I wouldn't be forced to attend his wedding.
--
Pro-tip: Never describe a feeling such as happiness or ecstasy as exploding within a person. It's bad, overwrought writing and brings to mind the vision of a person and/or their organs actually exploding. Not that I would mind Bethany suddenly exploding and dying.
--
The infamous line:
Fuck you so much. I don't have fun at dances because I'm a fuddy duddy and don't like places with lots of people. It has nothing to do with being a feminist. How does being a feminist mean you can't have fun at dances and wear pretty dresses? I must not be a feminist after all since I love dresses.
--
Guys go to prom to have fun too. It's just as much their night as any girl's. Addie, why don't you just come out and say you hate boys, girls, and the world itself?
--
Examples of cheating at narration:
Reader, my brain is broken. Halo did it. Everything that follows will prove it.
Venus Cove is
Reader, my brain is broken. Halo did it. Everything that follows will prove it.
Venus Cove is
Since this is the first flaw we're subjected to, we'll start with the writing. There is an overabundance of purple prose and many, many pages of needless description. We didn't need to know so much about the newspaper boy who saw them come to Earth, nor do we need to know every detail down to the wall trimming of the room Bethie is in. She even manages to purple it up over Xavier's name. A boy's name. A good red pen could have cut so much from this book and not hurt anything; in fact, it would have helped cut down on prose that was so purple that it made me green in the face. I skimmed way too many times to be healthy. The quotes section contains specific examples of her writing for the curious.
These
By the way, why does this demon from Hell need/get a British accent? Yes, villains are sometimes sexy and in most cases, British accents are sexy too. But villains with British accents are only sexy if done well, unlike with Jake here.
Xavier is similarly flawless in the worst way, but he's also so selfish that he would try to keep an angel from returning to God and her proper home in Heaven. His and Bethany's relationship screams, breathes, smells, sounds, and looks unhealthy and obsessive. These two fall in love instantly and their entire worlds shift so that without one another, they're more useless than a sack of cat droppings. At one infamous point, he forces her to eat when she doesn't want to. Not funny. Seriously. It's like he's babysitting her, not dating her. And they're both completely fine with this. But then Xavier refuses to listen to her side of the story after something happens. If they're so in love, why does he refuse to listen to her?
The plot holes, if combined, would create a hole large enough for Atlas to take the Earth off his shoulders and throw Earth through without the planet ever touching the edges of the hole. If Bethany has access to all human knowledge, how does she not know how to use a tube of lip gloss? If God has exiled angels from Heaven for their love/lust of mortals, why isn't Bethany a fallen angel? She has put her love for Xavier and desire to live as a teenager (which she shouldn't be concerned with anyways because she's here to do a job, not be a teenager) over her duty to God. That's plenty of grounds for exile, but she never falls. There are more plot holes I could go into. I won't.
Why are the angels even in Venus Cove? There really are places in better need of their help, even if Bethany doesn't want to be in those worse places because it breaks her poor widdle heart. Humanitarians get their hearts broken when they go to those sorts of places, but what do they do? They steel their hearts up and get to work helping the people that need help. The angels, instead of seeking out evil on their own and kicking its ass as would be appropriate, just sit around and wait for evil to strike and then clean up the mess like they're janitors cleaning up after that second-grader who threw up all over his desk. No action is taken until Bethany is threatened and by then, there have already been a lot of victims. Got it, angels. Humans = unimmportant, they can all just suffer. Bethany = ZOMG WE MUST RESCUE HER! What wonderful priorities.
The Foe Yay wasn't even any good! I am a sucker for that trope. A huge sucker. As long as there's some good Foe Yay, a book will win at least one eyelash-sized shard of my heart. But no, the Foe Yay with Jake and Bethany isn't anything I will go back and read when I want to read something fun. I think she was going for Foe Yay, too; if you have Foe Yay and I'm rolling my eyes, YOU HAVE SCREWED UP.
The treatment of minor characters that were human is revolting. Human girls are depicted as shallow creatures that only care about prom and boys; all human boys except for Xavier just want to get into a girl's pants. My book mantra is "an author is not their book," but there is an exception when the author is blatantly inserting their views and themselves into the book. Considering the virginity editorial and the "why teenage boys suck more than vampires" editorial, I feel there is more of Adornetto and her values in this book than I'm comfortable with.
Her presence within her own novel is disturbing because of the ideas presented within it. Just to start with, this book tells me you should judge people by their clothes because everyone knows Goths are either evil or under the influence of evil, Christianity is the only way, you're somehow impure once you have sex and your virginity is some BIG DEAL, and a young woman's actions can ruin the reputation of her entire family.
The book is also remarkably sexist. The girls, even the angels, are always on the sidelines. Gabriel takes on Bethany's mistakes as his own and that sends the message that girls can't be responsible for their own action because they're just silly women they don't know how to be responsible for themselves! The women are all passive, never taking steps forward on their own, and are the ones in need of saving. Even the dog is sexist! He won't sit when a female tells him to, but he does when a male tells him to.
Does this mean that Adornetto believes in all of this? Since the beliefs she expresses in both of her editorials creep into the book, how am I supposed to be able to sort out what expressed values are ones she holds and which ones she doesn't hold when almost all of them are outdated, offensive views? I often feel like I'm being preached at, where it's Adornetto speaking instead of Bethany, and I don't like that at all. If I wanted someone to preach to me, I would go to church.
Plot? Conflict? They were in this book? Well, I guess the plot stumbled in at the end of the book with a nearly-empty bottle of vodka in its hands and a suspicious smell on its breath, but the conflict never showed up. Must have gotten held up in traffic.
The book's climactic scene had me asking, "Are you KIDDING ME?" (As you can see from one of my updates.) That was... I feel like I've seen more of a ridiculous climactic scene, but this is in the top five. There wasn't even any tension to it; the entire time I read it, this song was playing in my head. (Yes, it came from that show. It was practically my childhood, so don't give me that look. I know I'm not the only one that watched it.)
There are also two things the author should never be allowed to touch ever again: classic literature and flowers. Romeo and Juliet, Jane Eyre, and "Annabel Lee" (I think there were others, but I'm already trying to block he book out of my head) were all brought in and Romeo and Juliet was misinterpreted yet again. It's about two teenagers in lust with each other and the conflict between their family that separates them, not an epic love story that ends in death.
I'm not an expert on it, but I have a special interest in flower language. Certain flowers have certain meanings and every time I include flowers in a story, even if it's only for one scene, I do heavy research to find a flower that will fit the mood and look good. Not Adornetto. Xavier comes over to dinner and brings yellow roses, which symbolize friendship or jealousy. Then (this is a good one), the corsage Xavier gives Bethany for prom has white rosebuds on it. White rosebuds symbolize girlhood, or a heart too young for or ignorant of love. My anger knew no bounds.
In general, I think Adornetto is allergic to research. An inverted pentagram like Jake wears later in the novel becomes a pentacle, which is a symbol of white magic and good. Research could have fixed that problem, and a good editor could have caught it too. There's also a point where Xavier has a concussion and yet he speaks clearly and in full sentences. I've had to take care of someone with a concussion. He slurred his words, tried to use short sentences to get what he wanted across, and is still experiencing dizzy spells over a month later. Xavier gets none of this.
If you're looking for a book that is pure snarkbait or something so mind-numbingly horrible that you will consider shoving your head through every pane of glass you can find, Halo is perfect. Otherwise, I beg you not to read it. Beg you!
Beg.
If the Halo-caused malfunction of my brain's filter and the temporary departure my my sanity hasn't convinced you not to read this book, what will?!
--Quotes Section Fun Time!--
Here are some fun quotes I pulled out from the book, usually for negative reasons, but some were just because they were just that stupid. I'm reading it on a Kindle, so no page citations.
"Humans were so preoccupied with love. They were all desperate to form an attachment to one person they could refer to as "their other half." It seemed from my reading of literature that being in love meant becoming the beloved's entire world. The rest of the universe paled into insignificance compared to the lovers. When they were separated, each fell into a melancholy state, and only when they were reunited did their hearts start beating again. Only when they were together could they really see the colors of the world. When they were apart, that color leached away, leaving everything a hazy gray."
I disagree. I think she's describing something closer to obsession. It's not healthy for your entire world to revolve around one person.
--
"I'd listened in on the prayers of teenage girls and most of them centered on being accepted by the "popular" crowd and finding a boyfriend who played on the rugby team."
Most girls don't care about popularity or getting an athlete boyfriend. I don't and I take offense to the idea that most girls are like this. They're not. It makes human girls sound like idiots. Just change it to "some" and it would be fine.
--
"...we angels didn't have a navel--just smooth white skin, freckle and indentation free."
So angels can only be white, then. Okay. Ick.
--
"Gabriel turned to look at me, his eyes the color of thunder."
Thunder isn't a color, you dumb little shit! Thunder is a sound! (Unless you have that disease where you mix up your senses so that you taste sounds and see smells and stuff. But Bethie is too perfect for that.) (Also, his eyes are described as "the color of rain" and "steel gray" later in the book. Rain is also not gray; it's clear.)
--
"But if I'd learned anything about teenage romance, it was that intensity wasn't dictated by duration. Three months was the norm, six months marked a turning point, and if a relationship lated a year, the pair was more or less engaged."
No, they're more or less engaged when someone asks "Will you marry me?" and the other person says "Yes." Off-topic, but I've known four couples where one or both parties were still teenagers when they got officially engaged. All four of them broke up. One saved me from having a manipulative sister-in-law who was as crazy as all get-out and the other just made me happy because it meant a guy I hope burns in hell for what he did to me was unhappy, wouldn't be getting married, and I wouldn't be forced to attend his wedding.
--
"That was the effect he had on me--an explosion of happiness in my chest, scattering like little beads and making my whole body shiver and tingle."
Pro-tip: Never describe a feeling such as happiness or ecstasy as exploding within a person. It's bad, overwrought writing and brings to mind the vision of a person and/or their organs actually exploding. Not that I would mind Bethany suddenly exploding and dying.
--
The infamous line:
"For the evening at least, feminist philosophy had been abandoned, and the girls, like fairy-tale princesses, allowed themselves to be led up the flight of steps and into the foyer."
Fuck you so much. I don't have fun at dances because I'm a fuddy duddy and don't like places with lots of people. It has nothing to do with being a feminist. How does being a feminist mean you can't have fun at dances and wear pretty dresses? I must not be a feminist after all since I love dresses.
--
"Although the boys looked dashing in their tuxedos, they were only really there as escorts; the night clearly belonged to the girls, every face I saw wore the same expression of anticipation."
Guys go to prom to have fun too. It's just as much their night as any girl's. Addie, why don't you just come out and say you hate boys, girls, and the world itself?
--
Examples of cheating at narration:
"Lana's eyes narrowed in annoyance at having given so much and recieved so little."
"My hesitation was starting to make Xavier uncomfortable."(Note: no elaboration is ever given, such as a description of him shifting on his feet.)
"Taylah stared after us as we pulled out of the drive, obviously wondering who had abducted her best friend and replaced her with this imposter."(less)
Amber
'The plot holes, if combined, would create a hole large enough for Atlas to take the Earth off his shoulders and throw Earth through without the plane...more
'The plot holes, if combined, would create a hole large enough for Atlas to take the Earth off his shoulders and throw Earth through without the planet ever touching the edges of the hole. '
I spat drink all over my laptop when I read this. Great review!(less)
Jul 21, 2012 04:29am
I spat drink all over my laptop when I read this. Great review!(less)
Jul 21, 2012 04:29am
Celofán
Agreed. I was really disgusted by this book. I don't even know why I read the sequel. To complain about it, probably.
You like Foe Yay? Would you mind...more Agreed. I was really disgusted by this book. I don't even know why I read the sequel. To complain about it, probably.
You like Foe Yay? Would you mind recommending me some good books with it, please?(less)
Nov 09, 2012 10:28pm
You like Foe Yay? Would you mind...more Agreed. I was really disgusted by this book. I don't even know why I read the sequel. To complain about it, probably.
You like Foe Yay? Would you mind recommending me some good books with it, please?(less)
Nov 09, 2012 10:28pm
Jun 20, 2012
Haleema
rated it
1 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
No.
Recommended to Haleema by:
No.
Shelves:
i-never-listen,
da-hell-is-that-cover,
book-coma,
author-y-u-no-destroyed,
brain-cells-went-bye-bye,
half-wit-heroine,
characters-are-half-troll,
cheese-pizza,
imagery-gone-bad,
need-my-nutella,
snape-disapproves,
bull-shawarma,
hating-with-all-my-hate,
i-knew-it,
just-begging-for-snark,
lame-rip-offs-of-other-works,
must-meet-author,
my-vomit-is-nicer,
oh-not-again,
its-so-stupid-it-hurts,
thesaurus-is-its-bff,
what-a-joke,
what-the-falafel,
thats-not-writing
After six days of reading this... form of devilry, I experienced a book coma for a while. This was me for only a day because, you know, life goes on.
The stages I went through before the coma:







What Halo finally did to me:

On that same day, I went through a severe case of PTJRARCBD. For those of you who don't know what that is: post traumatic just read a really crappy book disorder. It's very unfortunate. It's a sad experience to go through and it's happened to me before.
Symptoms include:
- Loss of...more After six days of reading this... form of devilry, I experienced a book coma for a while. This was me for only a day because, you know, life goes on.
The stages I went through before the coma:







What Halo finally did to me:

On that same day, I went through a severe case of PTJRARCBD. For those of you who don't know what that is: post traumatic just read a really crappy book disorder. It's very unfortunate. It's a sad experience to go through and it's happened to me before.
Symptoms include:
- Loss of brain cells
- Unwillingness to socialize with loved ones
- Bruised forehead from banging head against the wall
- Nightmares about the author
- Many more unspeakable things
Therefore, I will write this review in a form of an interview because I cannot speak to you directly. I am not that stable yet. Despite the fact that I am no longer in a book coma, I still do feel uncomfortable talking about this "book" in public. I need to speak to someone whose presence comforts me, whose voice I long to hear.
So it begins...

Morgan: Haleema, I've seen that you finished reading this boo---
Me:
DON'T CALL IT A BOOK! IT'S LIKE COMPARING AN ATOM BOMB TO A FART!
Morgan: *remains unfazed* I see. Well, what do you want to call it then?
Me: *thinks hard* A fart. No! A fart coming out of Edward Cullen's buttocks!
Morgan: *remains unfazed* Certainly. What did you think of the premise before you read this---
Me: Fart coming out of Edward Cullen's buttocks?
Morgan: Yes...
Me: It told me that it was about three angels: Gabriel, the warrior, Ivy, the healer, and Bethany, the youngest and most human. After reading the book, I concluded: Gabriel, the man that I'd love to see get run over by a truck, Ivy, the woman who'd rather stand there and look pretty than do something that might change the world, and Bethany. Oh... Bethany, the utterly useless girl that does nothing at all.
Morgan: The premise also said that the angels are sent to a town called Venus Cove because it is "falling under the influence of darkness". Is that true, Haleema?
Me:Absolutely. The town was utterly chaotic. I mean, there were naked people running around, people turning into goblins, numerous clones of Lord Voldemort stupifying innocent people. It was just horrible. It was the end of the world. Nothing happened in that town. Nothing. The angels achieved NOTHING.
Morgan: Huh. What did you think of the protagonist? I believe her name is Bethany.
Me: Are you referring to her inability to justify her reason of living on this earth filled with worthy creatures? Or the fact that every action she does says, "I'm too stupid to live."? Or are you talking about how she makes me want to question my existence on this earth after I read about her? I think you're talking abo---
Morgan: Okay, moving on. What did you think of Xavier?
Me: Are you referring to his apparent Mary Sue qualities? His voice that sounds like church bells? Or his walnut-colored hair that is mentioned almost fifty times in the book? Or are you referring to his idioc---
Morgan:

Next question. How was the story?
Me:

Oh, you're funny.
Morgan: *remains unfazed*
Me: *wipes her smile off her face with a napkin* You see, I don't know what I read there. There are these three BAMF angels that enroll in high school for God knows what. They do absolutely nothing. They cook, read, complain, daydream, make out, cook more, study, and cook. There are no "dark forces." The town is perfectly fine. Therefore, the plot was nothing.
Morgan: Nothing?
Me:

Morgan: Okay. What did you feel about the writing?
Me: The... writing? Did you ssss... sssay writing? The monster would talk about celery.
Morgan: Celery? I like celery. It can't be that bad.
Me:

"Celery, to me, most likely was enjoyed for its texture than its taste. I mean, the taste is bitter and stabs my tongue. The texture is rough against my mouth. The color is quite striking as well. It's a subtle green that reminds me of grass right after the rain drenches it. Why anyone would enjoy celery, aside from its nutritional value, is beyond me. Celery should be consumed only because of its texture."
Morgan:
Okay. I'm out.
alt="description"/>
Me: No! Please don't go! I beseech you! Please stay!
Morgan: *sits back down*
Me: Thank you. *sniffs* She would also describe other irrelevant things. Things that had absolutely no meaning to the "story." Things that I'd rather choke on a penny than read about. She would go on and on. That is why the book is 496 bloody pages.
Morgan: Seeing as you have absolutely nothing good to say about this boo---
Me: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT CALLING IT A BOOK?! IT'S A FART COMING OUT OF EDWARD CULLEN'S BUTTOCKS!
Morgan: God help me. Seeing as you have absolutely nothing good to say about this... *sighs* fart coming out of Edward Cullen's buttocks---
Me: That's right.
Morgan: I feel like we no longer need to finish this interview. It seems rather pointless.
Me: Well, I can say one good thing about this fart coming out of Edward Cullen's buttocks.
Morgan: *remains unfazed*
Me:

Morgan: *gathers his belongings* Have a nice day, Haleema. I pray that you will recover from this experience. I pray that you will move on to enjoying life like you did before. I pray that you will never call me again for this.
Me: Toodles, but please do come again! I might read the sequel.
Morgan: Just go to sleep.
alt="description"/>
Me: Okay. Toodles. *falls asleep*
*few hours later*


(less)
The stages I went through before the coma:







What Halo finally did to me:

On that same day, I went through a severe case of PTJRARCBD. For those of you who don't know what that is: post traumatic just read a really crappy book disorder. It's very unfortunate. It's a sad experience to go through and it's happened to me before.
Symptoms include:
- Loss of...more After six days of reading this... form of devilry, I experienced a book coma for a while. This was me for only a day because, you know, life goes on.
The stages I went through before the coma:







What Halo finally did to me:

On that same day, I went through a severe case of PTJRARCBD. For those of you who don't know what that is: post traumatic just read a really crappy book disorder. It's very unfortunate. It's a sad experience to go through and it's happened to me before.
Symptoms include:
- Loss of brain cells
- Unwillingness to socialize with loved ones
- Bruised forehead from banging head against the wall
- Nightmares about the author
- Many more unspeakable things
Therefore, I will write this review in a form of an interview because I cannot speak to you directly. I am not that stable yet. Despite the fact that I am no longer in a book coma, I still do feel uncomfortable talking about this "book" in public. I need to speak to someone whose presence comforts me, whose voice I long to hear.
So it begins...

Morgan: Haleema, I've seen that you finished reading this boo---
Me:

DON'T CALL IT A BOOK! IT'S LIKE COMPARING AN ATOM BOMB TO A FART!
Morgan: *remains unfazed* I see. Well, what do you want to call it then?
Me: *thinks hard* A fart. No! A fart coming out of Edward Cullen's buttocks!
Morgan: *remains unfazed* Certainly. What did you think of the premise before you read this---
Me: Fart coming out of Edward Cullen's buttocks?
Morgan: Yes...
Me: It told me that it was about three angels: Gabriel, the warrior, Ivy, the healer, and Bethany, the youngest and most human. After reading the book, I concluded: Gabriel, the man that I'd love to see get run over by a truck, Ivy, the woman who'd rather stand there and look pretty than do something that might change the world, and Bethany. Oh... Bethany, the utterly useless girl that does nothing at all.
Morgan: The premise also said that the angels are sent to a town called Venus Cove because it is "falling under the influence of darkness". Is that true, Haleema?
Me:
Morgan: Huh. What did you think of the protagonist? I believe her name is Bethany.
Me: Are you referring to her inability to justify her reason of living on this earth filled with worthy creatures? Or the fact that every action she does says, "I'm too stupid to live."? Or are you talking about how she makes me want to question my existence on this earth after I read about her? I think you're talking abo---
Morgan: Okay, moving on. What did you think of Xavier?
Me: Are you referring to his apparent Mary Sue qualities? His voice that sounds like church bells? Or his walnut-colored hair that is mentioned almost fifty times in the book? Or are you referring to his idioc---
Morgan:

Next question. How was the story?
Me:

Oh, you're funny.
Morgan: *remains unfazed*
Me: *wipes her smile off her face with a napkin* You see, I don't know what I read there. There are these three BAMF angels that enroll in high school for God knows what. They do absolutely nothing. They cook, read, complain, daydream, make out, cook more, study, and cook. There are no "dark forces." The town is perfectly fine. Therefore, the plot was nothing.
Morgan: Nothing?
Me:

Morgan: Okay. What did you feel about the writing?
Me: The... writing? Did you ssss... sssay writing? The monster would talk about celery.
Morgan: Celery? I like celery. It can't be that bad.
Me:

"Celery, to me, most likely was enjoyed for its texture than its taste. I mean, the taste is bitter and stabs my tongue. The texture is rough against my mouth. The color is quite striking as well. It's a subtle green that reminds me of grass right after the rain drenches it. Why anyone would enjoy celery, aside from its nutritional value, is beyond me. Celery should be consumed only because of its texture."
Morgan:
Okay. I'm out.
alt="description"/>Me: No! Please don't go! I beseech you! Please stay!
Morgan: *sits back down*
Me: Thank you. *sniffs* She would also describe other irrelevant things. Things that had absolutely no meaning to the "story." Things that I'd rather choke on a penny than read about. She would go on and on. That is why the book is 496 bloody pages.
Morgan: Seeing as you have absolutely nothing good to say about this boo---
Me: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT CALLING IT A BOOK?! IT'S A FART COMING OUT OF EDWARD CULLEN'S BUTTOCKS!
Morgan: God help me. Seeing as you have absolutely nothing good to say about this... *sighs* fart coming out of Edward Cullen's buttocks---
Me: That's right.
Morgan: I feel like we no longer need to finish this interview. It seems rather pointless.
Me: Well, I can say one good thing about this fart coming out of Edward Cullen's buttocks.
Morgan: *remains unfazed*
Me:

Morgan: *gathers his belongings* Have a nice day, Haleema. I pray that you will recover from this experience. I pray that you will move on to enjoying life like you did before. I pray that you will never call me again for this.
Me: Toodles, but please do come again! I might read the sequel.
Morgan: Just go to sleep.
alt="description"/>Me: Okay. Toodles. *falls asleep*
*few hours later*


(less)
Edit: June 2011
Mac Mcclelland is a humanitaries journalist who experienced PTSD after working with rape survivors in Haiti. She was never sexually assaulted, but nevertheless experienced panic attacks, sickness, and got drunk every night in order to deal with it. Afterwards, she went through a tough period.
She and her fellow journalists who go to 'hot zones' like Haiti, Egypt, Syria and Lybia are under enormous pressure and are reluctant to report cases of sexual and physical abuse because of t...more Edit: June 2011
Mac Mcclelland is a humanitaries journalist who experienced PTSD after working with rape survivors in Haiti. She was never sexually assaulted, but nevertheless experienced panic attacks, sickness, and got drunk every night in order to deal with it. Afterwards, she went through a tough period.
She and her fellow journalists who go to 'hot zones' like Haiti, Egypt, Syria and Lybia are under enormous pressure and are reluctant to report cases of sexual and physical abuse because of the victim blaming society likes to dish out on them (As in, "Why did they go there, if they are so hot?"). In her article, she talks about PTSD, how difficult it was, how she used violent sex to ease the worst of it, and how afterwards she got up, went to crisis zones to do her job, reporting cases of sexual abuse on a daily basis.
She's my new personal hero.
I'm brining this up because, with women like this in the world, I think God's servants can do better than knit mittens and walk the neighbor's dog. In fact, there is just no excuse for the uselessness of the angels in this book.
--------------
It is a truth, universally acknowledged, that when you hear of teen geniuses, you take the info with a lot of doubt. After all, ours is a society that encourages children to succeed from day one, probably because their parents need the valediction as soon as possible, so the media is all too happy to raise a hype over some young singer or writer. It's also very likely that the hype is raised because of the person's age, not the quality of their art. You can say that teenagers lack certain experiences and interactions outside their own social strata, which no amount of emotional maturity can make up for.
Knowing all this, I knew full well that I would have to take the outrage directed towards Alexandra Adornetto's Halo with a grain of salt. After all, she wrote this when she was seventeen? Eighteen? You can hardly expect Nobel prize worthy prose, can you? Surely, if I took things into consideration, that book wouldn't be so bad.
Well, I read the book, and my brother read parts of it with me. We both reached a conclusion.
The said conclusion is not fit to be heard in polite company.
Because here's the thing, my poor readers - even when I disregard the fact that this book reeks of juvenile kiddiness, the story is boring. No. Boring . In bold and italics, because I need to emphasize it this badly. I don't always read amazing books, and I confess, I have plenty of guilty pleasure reads - something I can turn to, like comfort food, only it's much more merciful on my waistline. I can forgive anything as long as the story keeps me entertained. Halo fails to do so, for several reasons.
One, there is no story-worthy problem. If you read Les Edgerton's Hooked, you know that this is the most essential thing in a story, the thing that drives it forward. Usually, it's something related the the character's growth (Edgerton uses "Thelma and Louise" as an example) and it's loosely connected to the surface problems. Halo does no such thing - the book consists of Bethany and Xavier falling in love (or talking about being in love) and that's it. Some demons get involved halfway through, but they barely make a serious impact. In the end, our protagonist ends up just as she started off as.
And the love story, let's talk about that for a moment. I do realize that teenage girls (or angels in this case) tend to get a little obsessed with the idea (I am one, after all), but aren't there usually reasons why you fall in love? Lust, that's easy. For love to get mixed up in matters, you need to feel something more than a deep appreciation for your boyfriend's hair, am I not right? (my brother's nodding, by the way). You need to have something in common - personal interests, or goals, or at the least a saint-like tolerance for the other's flaws. I'm not saying that you need to be completely compatible, hell no. But it would have been interesting to see Bethany and Xavier actually work on falling in love, and fighting to keep what they have, as opposed to having problems solved for them and the ever-so-convenient 'love at first sight' bull.
The second problem is that this book seems bent on breaking every single writing rule there is out there. We have infodumps in lieu of a back story, being told, not shown things, clothing and decor descriptions abound... let's be honest, readers have enough brain cells and imagination to picture the scenes in their heads - that's why they pick up books instead of using the lazier approach of TV or movie theaters. If it's not relevant to the plot, don't write it. It makes up for much smoother reading.
Finally, the characters. I think that Adornetto practically brought down the guillotine on this story by making her characters perfect. That's the word Bethany uses to describe herself and her siblings - perfect. I get it that they're angels, but we readers don't want perfect characters. A perfect character means an unrelatable character. As readers, we like to see someone who makes the same mistakes as we do and gets out of the mess by being a better person. Bethany being perfect means that she will not change, nor will she see the need to adapt to Xavier. And Xavier... I really feel sorry for the guy, but more on that later...
The really ridiculous part is that Bethany is hardly perfect. She acts like she is, but... well, it's pretty hard to feel for her when she quietly criticizes people for their dress, make-up or lifestyle choices, but gets sour when her boyfriend gets a concussion and can't take her to prom. I mean, really now!
Can an obnoxious heroine still be likeable? Sure. Alona Dare from The Ghost and the Goth is a good example of how to write a character like that. The problem here is that Alona knows what she wants and goes for it, aware that there are consequences but willing to face them. Bethany neither considers what she does beforehand, nor is she willing to face the music when the time comes. She is irresponsible and comes off as selfish and uncaring. How, then, are we supposed to like her?
The thing about this book that gets the most bile and outrage, though, is that quote: "For this evening at least, feminist philosophy had been abandoned, and the girls, like fairy-tale princesses, let themselves be lead up the flight of steps into the foyer." I kinda get what Adornetto was trying to say here, but what gets my goat is how she worded it. Feminism is a huge word, one that encompasses a lot of different ideas and theories, and it would be irresponsible to just throw it around like that. The only context in which the statement would make sense is that all the girls in Bethany's school adhere to that feminist movement which says that in order to be feminist you have to give up on being feminine .
EDIT : No, you know what, I changed my mind. That statement is stupid. In fact, it is downright offensive because:
1/ Feminism doesn't exclude men - it's a biological impossibility to seperate women from men, which is why it is necessary for both sexes to work together to get rid of sexism in our society.
2/ Feminism has brought us a lot of good things - the right to vote, the right to choose what happens to your body, the right not to be raped in marriage, and, why yes, the right to higher education and work. Interesting how Adornetto would have published this crap if it weren't for generations of feminists fighting for all this stuff she clearly takes for granted.
Also, I cannot help but notice the motherloving irony of Adornetto quoting Beyoncé, fucking Beyoncé , in a book that is supposed to promote Christian moralities and blatantly shuns feminism - did she just happen not to realize that a majority of Beyoncé's songs are about how she's angry at a guy, about how men are useless and promoting female empowerment through dancing around half naked? In fact, it seems to me that the girls in Halo are more fans of that school of thought which defines female empowerment as treating men like objects without any substance or depth.
Including Bethany. Not once did I ever hear her describe Xavier in terms that were not connected to his physical appearance, or his usefulness as a protector. I don't know who I should be more mad at - Bethany for being so dependent on a guy, or Xavier for letting her siblings talk him into taking her back. So what? He doesn't trust her when she says Jake forced himself on her, but then she takes him back without so much as a nod in that direction? Am I the only person who sees this as a major problem in that relationship? If he doesn't trust her, and doesn't let her speak in her defence, it shows clearly how dysfunctional their relationship is! And all it takes is an "I'm sorry, I love you" for her to take him back?
Bullshit! You wanna know how a genuine conversation would have sounded like?
"You didn't treat me like someone you cared about. You were an asshole, to put it nicely. I understand why you were angry. But now you've raised a lot of doubt. Is this how you fight? Loud and scary and mean, with no respect? Relationships hit speed bumps. People argue. Couples fight. How do I know this won't happen again?"
I paused, inviting him to answer this time.
"I can't promise that I'll never yell again," he said softly. "I'm not perfect." He laughed dryly. "Obviously."
When I didn't say anything, he kept going. "I can tell you that I don't yell often, but I do tend to spout off without thinking. Sometimes I say things I regret. It's a bad habit, and I'll try to work on it with you. I promise you that I will never argue with you in public again, and I won't storm off without letting you have your say. You deserve more than that. You deserve everything."
"You set an awful high standard for me to meet," I continued, wincing a little at the look on his face. I knew that he was sorry, that was obvious. Sorry, and apparently a little oblivious. Sorry wasn't the issue anymore. "Too good to be true. Capable of destroying your whole world. How am I supposed to live up to that? Will it always be like this when I screw up? Because I'm going to screw up too."
justaskalice, "Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry", ch. 22, http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5060485/2...
That was from a Twilight fanfic. Do the math.
Finally, all I have to say is this - clearly the author of this book is going to grow and develop. We can only hope that her writing will get better. However, that does not change the fact that this book had nothing to keep my attention, nor incite me to read the sequel. The heroine enranged me beyond words - we live in a society where sexism and violence against women are a daily occurrence - we don't need angels in Heaven supporting that!
*turns to brother* Got anything else to say, bro?
Finally, it doesn't matter how young you are and how long the book you wrote is, if it's not good, don't publish it! (less)
Mac Mcclelland is a humanitaries journalist who experienced PTSD after working with rape survivors in Haiti. She was never sexually assaulted, but nevertheless experienced panic attacks, sickness, and got drunk every night in order to deal with it. Afterwards, she went through a tough period.
She and her fellow journalists who go to 'hot zones' like Haiti, Egypt, Syria and Lybia are under enormous pressure and are reluctant to report cases of sexual and physical abuse because of t...more Edit: June 2011
Mac Mcclelland is a humanitaries journalist who experienced PTSD after working with rape survivors in Haiti. She was never sexually assaulted, but nevertheless experienced panic attacks, sickness, and got drunk every night in order to deal with it. Afterwards, she went through a tough period.
She and her fellow journalists who go to 'hot zones' like Haiti, Egypt, Syria and Lybia are under enormous pressure and are reluctant to report cases of sexual and physical abuse because of the victim blaming society likes to dish out on them (As in, "Why did they go there, if they are so hot?"). In her article, she talks about PTSD, how difficult it was, how she used violent sex to ease the worst of it, and how afterwards she got up, went to crisis zones to do her job, reporting cases of sexual abuse on a daily basis.
She's my new personal hero.
I'm brining this up because, with women like this in the world, I think God's servants can do better than knit mittens and walk the neighbor's dog. In fact, there is just no excuse for the uselessness of the angels in this book.
--------------
It is a truth, universally acknowledged, that when you hear of teen geniuses, you take the info with a lot of doubt. After all, ours is a society that encourages children to succeed from day one, probably because their parents need the valediction as soon as possible, so the media is all too happy to raise a hype over some young singer or writer. It's also very likely that the hype is raised because of the person's age, not the quality of their art. You can say that teenagers lack certain experiences and interactions outside their own social strata, which no amount of emotional maturity can make up for.
Knowing all this, I knew full well that I would have to take the outrage directed towards Alexandra Adornetto's Halo with a grain of salt. After all, she wrote this when she was seventeen? Eighteen? You can hardly expect Nobel prize worthy prose, can you? Surely, if I took things into consideration, that book wouldn't be so bad.
Well, I read the book, and my brother read parts of it with me. We both reached a conclusion.
The said conclusion is not fit to be heard in polite company.
Because here's the thing, my poor readers - even when I disregard the fact that this book reeks of juvenile kiddiness, the story is boring. No. Boring . In bold and italics, because I need to emphasize it this badly. I don't always read amazing books, and I confess, I have plenty of guilty pleasure reads - something I can turn to, like comfort food, only it's much more merciful on my waistline. I can forgive anything as long as the story keeps me entertained. Halo fails to do so, for several reasons.
One, there is no story-worthy problem. If you read Les Edgerton's Hooked, you know that this is the most essential thing in a story, the thing that drives it forward. Usually, it's something related the the character's growth (Edgerton uses "Thelma and Louise" as an example) and it's loosely connected to the surface problems. Halo does no such thing - the book consists of Bethany and Xavier falling in love (or talking about being in love) and that's it. Some demons get involved halfway through, but they barely make a serious impact. In the end, our protagonist ends up just as she started off as.
And the love story, let's talk about that for a moment. I do realize that teenage girls (or angels in this case) tend to get a little obsessed with the idea (I am one, after all), but aren't there usually reasons why you fall in love? Lust, that's easy. For love to get mixed up in matters, you need to feel something more than a deep appreciation for your boyfriend's hair, am I not right? (my brother's nodding, by the way). You need to have something in common - personal interests, or goals, or at the least a saint-like tolerance for the other's flaws. I'm not saying that you need to be completely compatible, hell no. But it would have been interesting to see Bethany and Xavier actually work on falling in love, and fighting to keep what they have, as opposed to having problems solved for them and the ever-so-convenient 'love at first sight' bull.
The second problem is that this book seems bent on breaking every single writing rule there is out there. We have infodumps in lieu of a back story, being told, not shown things, clothing and decor descriptions abound... let's be honest, readers have enough brain cells and imagination to picture the scenes in their heads - that's why they pick up books instead of using the lazier approach of TV or movie theaters. If it's not relevant to the plot, don't write it. It makes up for much smoother reading.
Finally, the characters. I think that Adornetto practically brought down the guillotine on this story by making her characters perfect. That's the word Bethany uses to describe herself and her siblings - perfect. I get it that they're angels, but we readers don't want perfect characters. A perfect character means an unrelatable character. As readers, we like to see someone who makes the same mistakes as we do and gets out of the mess by being a better person. Bethany being perfect means that she will not change, nor will she see the need to adapt to Xavier. And Xavier... I really feel sorry for the guy, but more on that later...
The really ridiculous part is that Bethany is hardly perfect. She acts like she is, but... well, it's pretty hard to feel for her when she quietly criticizes people for their dress, make-up or lifestyle choices, but gets sour when her boyfriend gets a concussion and can't take her to prom. I mean, really now!
Can an obnoxious heroine still be likeable? Sure. Alona Dare from The Ghost and the Goth is a good example of how to write a character like that. The problem here is that Alona knows what she wants and goes for it, aware that there are consequences but willing to face them. Bethany neither considers what she does beforehand, nor is she willing to face the music when the time comes. She is irresponsible and comes off as selfish and uncaring. How, then, are we supposed to like her?
The thing about this book that gets the most bile and outrage, though, is that quote: "For this evening at least, feminist philosophy had been abandoned, and the girls, like fairy-tale princesses, let themselves be lead up the flight of steps into the foyer." I kinda get what Adornetto was trying to say here, but what gets my goat is how she worded it. Feminism is a huge word, one that encompasses a lot of different ideas and theories, and it would be irresponsible to just throw it around like that. The only context in which the statement would make sense is that all the girls in Bethany's school adhere to that feminist movement which says that in order to be feminist you have to give up on being feminine .
EDIT : No, you know what, I changed my mind. That statement is stupid. In fact, it is downright offensive because:
1/ Feminism doesn't exclude men - it's a biological impossibility to seperate women from men, which is why it is necessary for both sexes to work together to get rid of sexism in our society.
2/ Feminism has brought us a lot of good things - the right to vote, the right to choose what happens to your body, the right not to be raped in marriage, and, why yes, the right to higher education and work. Interesting how Adornetto would have published this crap if it weren't for generations of feminists fighting for all this stuff she clearly takes for granted.
Also, I cannot help but notice the motherloving irony of Adornetto quoting Beyoncé, fucking Beyoncé , in a book that is supposed to promote Christian moralities and blatantly shuns feminism - did she just happen not to realize that a majority of Beyoncé's songs are about how she's angry at a guy, about how men are useless and promoting female empowerment through dancing around half naked? In fact, it seems to me that the girls in Halo are more fans of that school of thought which defines female empowerment as treating men like objects without any substance or depth.
Including Bethany. Not once did I ever hear her describe Xavier in terms that were not connected to his physical appearance, or his usefulness as a protector. I don't know who I should be more mad at - Bethany for being so dependent on a guy, or Xavier for letting her siblings talk him into taking her back. So what? He doesn't trust her when she says Jake forced himself on her, but then she takes him back without so much as a nod in that direction? Am I the only person who sees this as a major problem in that relationship? If he doesn't trust her, and doesn't let her speak in her defence, it shows clearly how dysfunctional their relationship is! And all it takes is an "I'm sorry, I love you" for her to take him back?
Bullshit! You wanna know how a genuine conversation would have sounded like?
"You didn't treat me like someone you cared about. You were an asshole, to put it nicely. I understand why you were angry. But now you've raised a lot of doubt. Is this how you fight? Loud and scary and mean, with no respect? Relationships hit speed bumps. People argue. Couples fight. How do I know this won't happen again?"
I paused, inviting him to answer this time.
"I can't promise that I'll never yell again," he said softly. "I'm not perfect." He laughed dryly. "Obviously."
When I didn't say anything, he kept going. "I can tell you that I don't yell often, but I do tend to spout off without thinking. Sometimes I say things I regret. It's a bad habit, and I'll try to work on it with you. I promise you that I will never argue with you in public again, and I won't storm off without letting you have your say. You deserve more than that. You deserve everything."
"You set an awful high standard for me to meet," I continued, wincing a little at the look on his face. I knew that he was sorry, that was obvious. Sorry, and apparently a little oblivious. Sorry wasn't the issue anymore. "Too good to be true. Capable of destroying your whole world. How am I supposed to live up to that? Will it always be like this when I screw up? Because I'm going to screw up too."
justaskalice, "Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry", ch. 22, http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5060485/2...
That was from a Twilight fanfic. Do the math.
Finally, all I have to say is this - clearly the author of this book is going to grow and develop. We can only hope that her writing will get better. However, that does not change the fact that this book had nothing to keep my attention, nor incite me to read the sequel. The heroine enranged me beyond words - we live in a society where sexism and violence against women are a daily occurrence - we don't need angels in Heaven supporting that!
*turns to brother* Got anything else to say, bro?
Finally, it doesn't matter how young you are and how long the book you wrote is, if it's not good, don't publish it! (less)
Katya
Because they saw this gorgeous torn T-shirt and these absolutely fetching stretch pants and they thought: "No, this dead hobo doesn't deserve these cl...more
Because they saw this gorgeous torn T-shirt and these absolutely fetching stretch pants and they thought: "No, this dead hobo doesn't deserve these clothes! They are so Xavier! He must be seen wearing them in the book!"(less)
Oct 15, 2011 10:52am
Oct 15, 2011 10:52am
Brigid *Flying Kick-a-pow!*
This review is brilliant. I totally agree, and you wrote it absolutely perfectly. This book made me so angry I just ... totally flipped out when I wro...more
This review is brilliant. I totally agree, and you wrote it absolutely perfectly. This book made me so angry I just ... totally flipped out when I wrote my review. I agree with everything you said––boring, sexist, flat characters.
I support teen writers trying to get published, but I think it's unfortunate that this is the most popular thing written by a teenager (at least for now). It doesn't give teen writers much of a good reputation. Ironically I've read unpublished books by teens that were much better than this... Ack. The publishing industry is just so screwed up.(less)
Nov 10, 2011 06:19am
I support teen writers trying to get published, but I think it's unfortunate that this is the most popular thing written by a teenager (at least for now). It doesn't give teen writers much of a good reputation. Ironically I've read unpublished books by teens that were much better than this... Ack. The publishing industry is just so screwed up.(less)
Nov 10, 2011 06:19am
Oh my Lord...
Where do you even begin with this book? Just where?
But first, let me relate to you a personal anecdote of mine. Its relevance will become clear soon enough.
At my primary school, the older children were partnered up with the young children. Yep, us ten year olds had to arrange the five year olds' lunch tables, check they'd eaten everything, walk them home if we lived in the village and their parents weren't available, read to them, and generally give them a hand with anything they fo...more Oh my Lord...
Where do you even begin with this book? Just where?
But first, let me relate to you a personal anecdote of mine. Its relevance will become clear soon enough.
At my primary school, the older children were partnered up with the young children. Yep, us ten year olds had to arrange the five year olds' lunch tables, check they'd eaten everything, walk them home if we lived in the village and their parents weren't available, read to them, and generally give them a hand with anything they found difficult. Considering my school had four classrooms, four teachers, two learning support staff and three dinner ladies, I suppose they needed all hands on deck.
But anyway, me and my friend had to look after twins. And since they'd behaved so well, we were allowed to watch cartoons with them on Friday afternoon. (English primary schools quaintly refer to this as 'Privilege Time', aww.)
And one Friday, I was sat watching a show called The Tweenies with them. It's a pretty terrifying show, but it was extremely popular in the early 2000s over here.

So anyway, these horrifying... things had a story-time segment on their show. And one time, they picked up a book. And this moment has burned into my memory ever since.
"Look!" Cried one of them. “This book was written by ---! She's a BIG GIRL, and she got her book published at ten years old!”
And lo and behold, that book was... just what a book published by a ten year old would be like. Nothing special. I think it was about a giraffe who learned to stop doubting himself after something something something.
So, what relevance does a ten year old show for little children have to a YA book about angels? Simple.
Youth does not excuse anything.
I recognise that it is a pretty big achievement to be published at a young age. It's an impressive feat, yes, but you don't always end up with a good, classic piece of literature. Remember Eragon by Christopher Paolini? That had some pretty impressive writing for a fifteen year old boy, but it became a bit sketchy when it was found out that his parents were in the publishing industry. And while the author of this novel didn't have the same nepotistic treatment as Paolini, it's still annoying to me that this got published. And we're supposed to laud over it because of the relative youth of the author. Pfft.
So, what is Halo about, I hear you cry?
Well, prepare your eyes to roll out of their sockets: the preface contains a lyric by Beyoncé. No points awarded if you can guess what song it is. Need a hint? It's got the same name as the title of the book. Yeah. Other authors go for classic literature, poetry, or even a well-known quote... Adornetto goes for a by the numbers ballad by Beyoncé.
So yes, the book is about these angels who come to a quiet coastal town in the middle of nowhere. Why? Well, apparently the Agents of Darkness (basically demons or Lucifer and his followers) are attacking this town, starting off small before they go into the big leagues. (Which makes no sense because there's supposed to be a load of them causing problems in the Middle East.) To save the souls of the poor citizens of Venus Cove, God sends down a family of angels. Angel roll-call!
Gabriel
One of God's archangels. Most famous for telling Mary that she was going to give birth to the son of God. He also watched Sodom and Gomorrah burn.
Ivy
A seraphim whose only characterisation is to flap and cluck like a mother hen, make biscuits and cupcakes and generally provide nothing to the plot.
Bethany

Bethany has to be one of the WORST characters I have ever come across in YA literature. Did you know I have a prison in my mind where I banish the characters I hate from YA novels? Yeah, currently Bethany is sharing a cell with Zoey Redbird from Marked, Ever Bloom from Evermore, and Clary Fray from The Mortal Instruments.
She just so happens to be a very young angel, and is extremely compassionate towards humankind. Which, amongst the angels, is a bit of an anomaly, considering that angels tend to take the 'poor little lambs' view on humanity. So... even though there isn't much of a reason why Bethany (or Ivy for that matter) should be on Earth in the first place (come on, God sent down a freaking archangel, the demon problem in that town should be taken care of by the next morning!), we have to follow Bethany around as she goes through her boring little life in a boring little town.
Oh, there is some excitement to be had. Bethany does save the life of this one girl who was in a car accident. Yep, she had a punctured lung, a shattered wrist, and several fracture ribs. Injuries that were no doubt exacerbated by Bethany PULLING THIS GIRL OUT OF THE WRECK OF HER CAR. I'm quite sure basic first aid dictates that if somebody is seriously injured and curled up in a certain position, you do not move them unless you are a qualified medic.
Well, anyway. First things first, Bethany begins attending a private school, where Gabriel has gotten a job as a music teacher. Bethany, in her infinite compassion, makes friends with just about everybody (whilst still privately judging the 'kooky beret-wearing art students', the goths who 'dress entirely in black' and the vapid idiots she sits with at lunch, mind you). However, everything changes when she meets Xavier Woods.
And holy shit, the author really was like a first-time driver putting too much pressure on the accelerator pedal and sending the needle of the speedometer careening towards 100mph when it came to making Bethany and Xavier fall in love. In fact, they fully declare their love for each other by about page 105.

And there's quite a few Romeo and Juliet references in this book too.

Yes, it's a good old starcross'd romance and there's FORBIDDEN LOVE. What really made me laugh was when Bethany is in an English Literature class and she tries to convince her classmates that Romeo and Juliet is actually a realistic relationship. Pahaha.

So yes... A super-special perfect angel like Bethany falls in love with a human boy named Xavier. Whose facial features are almost always compared to nuts and spices.
'His light-brown walnut-coloured hair'
'His almond-shaped eyes'
'His nutmeg hair...'
Goodness gracious me. I think somebody went down to the spice cabinet every time they needed inspiration for their pre-modifiers.
Yup, Xavier is supposed to be practically perfect in every single way. Except for the fact that he has emotional baggage. His girlfriend Emily died in a fire several years ago, and according to all the other girls at school, Xavier is still heartbroken over it and hasn't dated since. Until Bethany comes into the picture, of course, because she reminds him of Emily and is of course absolutely flawless and... oh for the love of, when will this stupid insta-love bullcrap in YA-lit end?
Later, in a complete role reversal of Twilight, Bethany tells Xavier that she's an angel. Xavier doesn't seem to mind, even though my world would be completely shattered if I learned that not only do angels and demons really exist, but so does God, Heaven, and Hell. But no, this is just par for the course for Xavier, who's supposed to be agnostic. (Also during this exchange, Bethany actually says she doesn't believe in the fire and brimstone kind of Hell preached about in some religious sects. Huh.)
Well, anyway, Xavier and Bethany cuddle on the beach and surprise surprise, by the next day it turns out that Gabriel has found out about our two little lovebirds, and he's actually had to call a council meeting with the other archangels to see what God's plan is now Bethany has blown their cover. (Also, the way Gabriel castigates Bethany is like she's done the WORST POSSIBLE THING EVER. She just cuddled a human, told him she was an angel, and now he has to call the most powerful angels to find out what God's will is now going to be? You know, that's pretty much the equivalent of calling the military police to your house to take an unruly child to the naughty step/time-out zone.)
Luckily, the archangels have better things to do than wonder whether or not a stupid angel should be excommunicated from the kingdom of Heaven for cuddling a boy. So Bethany and Xavier are allowed to continue dating, but... uh-oh, it's love triangle time!
Yes. Love triangle time. A hundred and ten pages or so into the book, there's mention of a new student having transferred into Bethany's new school. Guess what? He has a British accent. (Which in Hollywood terms means he's definitely evil.) And it also seems that snakes are his thing.
His cheekbones looked razor sharp, and his cat-green eyes watched Miss Castle intently with the hypnotic quality of a snake about to strike.
The greedy glint in Jake’s snake- green eyes[.]
Did I mention that this guy also has a snake tattoo curling around his forearm, and is genuinely considered to be trouble to be around?
If I may, can I make reference to a villain from a supernatural fantasy book series who also has snakes as his motif? You know, looks like a snake, has a reptilian smile, is quite slimy, etcetera?

Yup, the dark lord himself. The wonderful thing about Voldemort though, was that J.K. Rowling didn't CONSTANTLY shove it down our throats that he was some kind of 'reptilian' ne'er-do-well. Clearly, in Adornetto's writing, Voldemort's every appearance would go something like this:
'His face reminded me of a snake's – eyes vile and vicious, like a cobra before it struck. The reptilian slits where his nose should have been moved gently with each seemingly wrong breath he took. And when he moved closer towards me, Elder Wand in hand, it was with a serpentine grace, moving in the zig-zag motion of a reptile. And he grabbed my wrist with the force of a boa constrictor's coils.'
So anyway, this obvious Agent of Darkness farts about with Bethany in her English Literature class and helps her write a sonnet. This is by far one of the most boring parts of the novel, mind you.
Some time after this, Xavier breaks his ankle. And he's kept in for overnight observation after the doctors find that he has a concussion. Okay, now that's absolutely hilarious to me, because I've had personal experience with a broken (collar-)bone and a concussion: particularly, the hospital telling me to go home and rest rather than keeping me in for the bloody night. And even then I got about two hours of rest before I had to rush to the airport, since I was on holiday in Germany at the time.
So yes, Xavier can't go to the high school prom with Bethany, which of course is THE MOST TRAGIC EVENT EVARRR!! However, Jake asks Bethany out instead. Xavier tells Bethany he doesn't mind, because he knows how much Bethany was looking forward to the prom, and how it won't be the same without a date.
Well, anyway, this obvious Agent of Darkness is revealed for what he is during the prom. Oh, of course. If the reader can pick up the fact that he's a demon sixty pages before the big reveal, I'd say tone it down a little with all the serpentine imagery, hmm?
Anyway, even though any demon worth his salt (well, maybe not salt, whatever) could have levelled this useless little town before tea-time, Jake only reveals he's going to wreak havoc after Bethany rejects his advances at the prom.
Because, need I remind you, Bethany is that important.
Oh, and someone snapped a picture of Bethany being kissed by Jake, and OH NOES, Xavier saw it on Facebook and now he's all jealous and hurt and upset!
You know, your average person would probably be a bit more understanding. Not Xavier, though. He launches into a tirade against Bethany, and... wait a second. Does this make sense to anyone else?
Bethany is a creature of pure goodness, a celestial messenger, an angel. Why would it be in her interests to lie (which isn't angelic in the least) to her boyfriend about her relationship with the guy he allowed her to go to prom with in his stead?
This book makes no sense! *claws at the walls*
So anyway, Bethany finds herself in Dumpsville, USA, and spends the next few pages crying and feeling sorry for herself, until Gabriel finally tells Xavier what really went on, and Xavier comes back, completely ready to forgive and forget. In the space of about three or four pages.

My God does this girl have Xavier on the brain. In fact, if you cracked open her skull, 'I <3 XAVIER' tattoos and stickers would be plastered over both hemispheres. It gets to the point where you just want to tell her to shut up. Like these two extracts, for instance, fresh from being dumped:
When I realized Xavier was absent from school the following day, my eyes burned and I felt hot and dizzy. I wanted to crumple to the ground and just wait for someone to carry me away. I couldn’t make it through another day without him; I could hardly make it through another minute. Where was he? What was he trying to do to me?
I wondered if I would ever be able to put together the pieces of my life on earth that had been blown apart when Xavier had left me.
Shut up, Bethany. And somebody please tell Ms. Adornetto that her version of true love at first sight is so highly exaggerated the Disney princes and princesses would tell her to take it down a notch.
Anyway, after the two reconcile, they have a lovely naked cuddle on Bethany's bed. (Where's that council of archangels now, Gabriel? They were fully clothed the last time around, surely you should be calling God Himself to sort out Bethany for that kind of atrocious behaviour.)
After all that, Bethany goes to school again and discovers that Jake has gotten himself quite a big following. And he may or may not have caused one of Bethany's friends (Taylah) to commit suicide. This girl being the same one who went: “Oh, Bethy, eww, you don't want to go to the library, only losers hang out there!” And ”"Everybody knows the Middle East is in Africa." :|
Jake of course continues to threaten Bethany, and his followers grow day by day. One of whom is Bethany's friend Molly. Shock, horror! And how do Bethany and her motley crew of two high angels and one human work out where Jake is likely to take Molly out on a date? Brace yourselves, the stupidity might require an ice pack from how hard your palm will meet your face.
"They look like goths,"
"And what is the centre of goth culture?" Gabriel said.
Ivy looked at him, eyes wide. "Death."
"Yes." Xavier's face was grim.
"So where would be the best place for a bunch of weirdos obsessed with death?"
The realisation hit me, and I drew a sharp breath. It was overstated, it was grim, it was dark, and the perfect place for Jake to stage his show. "The cemetery."
(Seriously, is Marilyn Manson the author's only reference for what a Goth looks like nowadays?)
So yup, if people at your school/other educational institution take up an interest in the Goth lifestyle, there's obviously a demon around somewhere! It's not a conscious choice made of their own volition, nope, it's a demon sucking out the happiness from their souls.
Also, is it me or is Jake pretty stupid for a follower of darkness? If the dumbest angels ever committed to page can work out where you're going to execute your evil plan, I think you need to go back to villain school posthaste.
What follows next is a boring as hell 'OMG Goths totally hang out in cemeteries and make blood sacrifices and endeavour to look as sullen as possible, right?' until Bethany shrieks and like an idiot, gives away her and Xavier's position.
She is then spirited away to a Victorian mansion, where Jake continues to threaten her... and then Gabriel bursts through the wall with all the powers of Heaven behind him. Hooray! But oh no, Jake proves to be quite a match (for a bloody archangel, need I remind you).
Until... in the mother of all awful endings... Bethany defeats Jake...
...with the power of love.
I told you guys you'd need an ice-pack. Hope you still had it handy.
Seriously, the power of love being used as some ethereal force that can conquer all evil? I thought that cliché died out when Sailor Moon finished airing.
Yeah, so while I had a good chuckle at that dénouement, Bethany just settles back into life in Venus Cove... until the sequel grab happens. A little scroll with a mildly threatening message in Jake's handwriting falls out of Bethany's locker. OH NO!
That so totally makes me want to read Hades, the next book in the series!
Actually, no, it doesn't. This novel was awful. I only finished it because it was so laughable, and I seemed to catch cringeworthy clangers on every page. The story makes no sense, the main character is a wishy-washy Mary Sue who has nothing to her personality besides being 'kind and caring' and 'obsessed with Xavier'. It's insulting to one's intelligence (with things that are obvious constantly being explained to the audience), and the villain is absolutely pathetic. Jake's inclusion into the plot seems more like the author realising she's written 110 pages of angelic fluffy romance and she needs to shake things up a little. And you can't speak of the villain without speaking of the other heroes. Gabriel and Ivy did absolutely nothing throughout the plot. Gabriel was just 'ZOMG HOT NEW TEACHER' and Ivy did nothing but arrange bake sales and help out at the local church. Also, isn't it kind of insulting that the two female angels are weaker and stereotyped as caring and nurturing? Piss off.
For divine beings from the Heavens, they certainly wouldn't be picked for my dream team to take on the forces of evil. And yet they somehow revitalise church attendance in this little township? Pah. Call me back when church attendance is revitalised by a sassy lounge singer turning the dull choir into a funky gospel troupe.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to purge the e-book from my hard drive. And my brain. 1/5.
(This review is also available on my blog: http://book-wyrm.blogspot.co.uk/2012/...)(less)
Where do you even begin with this book? Just where?
But first, let me relate to you a personal anecdote of mine. Its relevance will become clear soon enough.
At my primary school, the older children were partnered up with the young children. Yep, us ten year olds had to arrange the five year olds' lunch tables, check they'd eaten everything, walk them home if we lived in the village and their parents weren't available, read to them, and generally give them a hand with anything they fo...more Oh my Lord...
Where do you even begin with this book? Just where?
But first, let me relate to you a personal anecdote of mine. Its relevance will become clear soon enough.
At my primary school, the older children were partnered up with the young children. Yep, us ten year olds had to arrange the five year olds' lunch tables, check they'd eaten everything, walk them home if we lived in the village and their parents weren't available, read to them, and generally give them a hand with anything they found difficult. Considering my school had four classrooms, four teachers, two learning support staff and three dinner ladies, I suppose they needed all hands on deck.
But anyway, me and my friend had to look after twins. And since they'd behaved so well, we were allowed to watch cartoons with them on Friday afternoon. (English primary schools quaintly refer to this as 'Privilege Time', aww.)
And one Friday, I was sat watching a show called The Tweenies with them. It's a pretty terrifying show, but it was extremely popular in the early 2000s over here.

So anyway, these horrifying... things had a story-time segment on their show. And one time, they picked up a book. And this moment has burned into my memory ever since.
"Look!" Cried one of them. “This book was written by ---! She's a BIG GIRL, and she got her book published at ten years old!”
And lo and behold, that book was... just what a book published by a ten year old would be like. Nothing special. I think it was about a giraffe who learned to stop doubting himself after something something something.
So, what relevance does a ten year old show for little children have to a YA book about angels? Simple.
Youth does not excuse anything.
I recognise that it is a pretty big achievement to be published at a young age. It's an impressive feat, yes, but you don't always end up with a good, classic piece of literature. Remember Eragon by Christopher Paolini? That had some pretty impressive writing for a fifteen year old boy, but it became a bit sketchy when it was found out that his parents were in the publishing industry. And while the author of this novel didn't have the same nepotistic treatment as Paolini, it's still annoying to me that this got published. And we're supposed to laud over it because of the relative youth of the author. Pfft.
So, what is Halo about, I hear you cry?
Well, prepare your eyes to roll out of their sockets: the preface contains a lyric by Beyoncé. No points awarded if you can guess what song it is. Need a hint? It's got the same name as the title of the book. Yeah. Other authors go for classic literature, poetry, or even a well-known quote... Adornetto goes for a by the numbers ballad by Beyoncé.
So yes, the book is about these angels who come to a quiet coastal town in the middle of nowhere. Why? Well, apparently the Agents of Darkness (basically demons or Lucifer and his followers) are attacking this town, starting off small before they go into the big leagues. (Which makes no sense because there's supposed to be a load of them causing problems in the Middle East.) To save the souls of the poor citizens of Venus Cove, God sends down a family of angels. Angel roll-call!
Gabriel
One of God's archangels. Most famous for telling Mary that she was going to give birth to the son of God. He also watched Sodom and Gomorrah burn.
Ivy
A seraphim whose only characterisation is to flap and cluck like a mother hen, make biscuits and cupcakes and generally provide nothing to the plot.
Bethany

Bethany has to be one of the WORST characters I have ever come across in YA literature. Did you know I have a prison in my mind where I banish the characters I hate from YA novels? Yeah, currently Bethany is sharing a cell with Zoey Redbird from Marked, Ever Bloom from Evermore, and Clary Fray from The Mortal Instruments.
She just so happens to be a very young angel, and is extremely compassionate towards humankind. Which, amongst the angels, is a bit of an anomaly, considering that angels tend to take the 'poor little lambs' view on humanity. So... even though there isn't much of a reason why Bethany (or Ivy for that matter) should be on Earth in the first place (come on, God sent down a freaking archangel, the demon problem in that town should be taken care of by the next morning!), we have to follow Bethany around as she goes through her boring little life in a boring little town.
Oh, there is some excitement to be had. Bethany does save the life of this one girl who was in a car accident. Yep, she had a punctured lung, a shattered wrist, and several fracture ribs. Injuries that were no doubt exacerbated by Bethany PULLING THIS GIRL OUT OF THE WRECK OF HER CAR. I'm quite sure basic first aid dictates that if somebody is seriously injured and curled up in a certain position, you do not move them unless you are a qualified medic.
Well, anyway. First things first, Bethany begins attending a private school, where Gabriel has gotten a job as a music teacher. Bethany, in her infinite compassion, makes friends with just about everybody (whilst still privately judging the 'kooky beret-wearing art students', the goths who 'dress entirely in black' and the vapid idiots she sits with at lunch, mind you). However, everything changes when she meets Xavier Woods.
And holy shit, the author really was like a first-time driver putting too much pressure on the accelerator pedal and sending the needle of the speedometer careening towards 100mph when it came to making Bethany and Xavier fall in love. In fact, they fully declare their love for each other by about page 105.

And there's quite a few Romeo and Juliet references in this book too.

Yes, it's a good old starcross'd romance and there's FORBIDDEN LOVE. What really made me laugh was when Bethany is in an English Literature class and she tries to convince her classmates that Romeo and Juliet is actually a realistic relationship. Pahaha.

So yes... A super-special perfect angel like Bethany falls in love with a human boy named Xavier. Whose facial features are almost always compared to nuts and spices.
'His light-brown walnut-coloured hair'
'His almond-shaped eyes'
'His nutmeg hair...'
Goodness gracious me. I think somebody went down to the spice cabinet every time they needed inspiration for their pre-modifiers.
Yup, Xavier is supposed to be practically perfect in every single way. Except for the fact that he has emotional baggage. His girlfriend Emily died in a fire several years ago, and according to all the other girls at school, Xavier is still heartbroken over it and hasn't dated since. Until Bethany comes into the picture, of course, because she reminds him of Emily and is of course absolutely flawless and... oh for the love of, when will this stupid insta-love bullcrap in YA-lit end?
Later, in a complete role reversal of Twilight, Bethany tells Xavier that she's an angel. Xavier doesn't seem to mind, even though my world would be completely shattered if I learned that not only do angels and demons really exist, but so does God, Heaven, and Hell. But no, this is just par for the course for Xavier, who's supposed to be agnostic. (Also during this exchange, Bethany actually says she doesn't believe in the fire and brimstone kind of Hell preached about in some religious sects. Huh.)
Well, anyway, Xavier and Bethany cuddle on the beach and surprise surprise, by the next day it turns out that Gabriel has found out about our two little lovebirds, and he's actually had to call a council meeting with the other archangels to see what God's plan is now Bethany has blown their cover. (Also, the way Gabriel castigates Bethany is like she's done the WORST POSSIBLE THING EVER. She just cuddled a human, told him she was an angel, and now he has to call the most powerful angels to find out what God's will is now going to be? You know, that's pretty much the equivalent of calling the military police to your house to take an unruly child to the naughty step/time-out zone.)
Luckily, the archangels have better things to do than wonder whether or not a stupid angel should be excommunicated from the kingdom of Heaven for cuddling a boy. So Bethany and Xavier are allowed to continue dating, but... uh-oh, it's love triangle time!
Yes. Love triangle time. A hundred and ten pages or so into the book, there's mention of a new student having transferred into Bethany's new school. Guess what? He has a British accent. (Which in Hollywood terms means he's definitely evil.) And it also seems that snakes are his thing.
His cheekbones looked razor sharp, and his cat-green eyes watched Miss Castle intently with the hypnotic quality of a snake about to strike.
The greedy glint in Jake’s snake- green eyes[.]
Did I mention that this guy also has a snake tattoo curling around his forearm, and is genuinely considered to be trouble to be around?
If I may, can I make reference to a villain from a supernatural fantasy book series who also has snakes as his motif? You know, looks like a snake, has a reptilian smile, is quite slimy, etcetera?

Yup, the dark lord himself. The wonderful thing about Voldemort though, was that J.K. Rowling didn't CONSTANTLY shove it down our throats that he was some kind of 'reptilian' ne'er-do-well. Clearly, in Adornetto's writing, Voldemort's every appearance would go something like this:
'His face reminded me of a snake's – eyes vile and vicious, like a cobra before it struck. The reptilian slits where his nose should have been moved gently with each seemingly wrong breath he took. And when he moved closer towards me, Elder Wand in hand, it was with a serpentine grace, moving in the zig-zag motion of a reptile. And he grabbed my wrist with the force of a boa constrictor's coils.'
So anyway, this obvious Agent of Darkness farts about with Bethany in her English Literature class and helps her write a sonnet. This is by far one of the most boring parts of the novel, mind you.
Some time after this, Xavier breaks his ankle. And he's kept in for overnight observation after the doctors find that he has a concussion. Okay, now that's absolutely hilarious to me, because I've had personal experience with a broken (collar-)bone and a concussion: particularly, the hospital telling me to go home and rest rather than keeping me in for the bloody night. And even then I got about two hours of rest before I had to rush to the airport, since I was on holiday in Germany at the time.
So yes, Xavier can't go to the high school prom with Bethany, which of course is THE MOST TRAGIC EVENT EVARRR!! However, Jake asks Bethany out instead. Xavier tells Bethany he doesn't mind, because he knows how much Bethany was looking forward to the prom, and how it won't be the same without a date.
Well, anyway, this obvious Agent of Darkness is revealed for what he is during the prom. Oh, of course. If the reader can pick up the fact that he's a demon sixty pages before the big reveal, I'd say tone it down a little with all the serpentine imagery, hmm?
Anyway, even though any demon worth his salt (well, maybe not salt, whatever) could have levelled this useless little town before tea-time, Jake only reveals he's going to wreak havoc after Bethany rejects his advances at the prom.
Because, need I remind you, Bethany is that important.
Oh, and someone snapped a picture of Bethany being kissed by Jake, and OH NOES, Xavier saw it on Facebook and now he's all jealous and hurt and upset!
You know, your average person would probably be a bit more understanding. Not Xavier, though. He launches into a tirade against Bethany, and... wait a second. Does this make sense to anyone else?
Bethany is a creature of pure goodness, a celestial messenger, an angel. Why would it be in her interests to lie (which isn't angelic in the least) to her boyfriend about her relationship with the guy he allowed her to go to prom with in his stead?
This book makes no sense! *claws at the walls*
So anyway, Bethany finds herself in Dumpsville, USA, and spends the next few pages crying and feeling sorry for herself, until Gabriel finally tells Xavier what really went on, and Xavier comes back, completely ready to forgive and forget. In the space of about three or four pages.

My God does this girl have Xavier on the brain. In fact, if you cracked open her skull, 'I <3 XAVIER' tattoos and stickers would be plastered over both hemispheres. It gets to the point where you just want to tell her to shut up. Like these two extracts, for instance, fresh from being dumped:
When I realized Xavier was absent from school the following day, my eyes burned and I felt hot and dizzy. I wanted to crumple to the ground and just wait for someone to carry me away. I couldn’t make it through another day without him; I could hardly make it through another minute. Where was he? What was he trying to do to me?
I wondered if I would ever be able to put together the pieces of my life on earth that had been blown apart when Xavier had left me.
Shut up, Bethany. And somebody please tell Ms. Adornetto that her version of true love at first sight is so highly exaggerated the Disney princes and princesses would tell her to take it down a notch.
Anyway, after the two reconcile, they have a lovely naked cuddle on Bethany's bed. (Where's that council of archangels now, Gabriel? They were fully clothed the last time around, surely you should be calling God Himself to sort out Bethany for that kind of atrocious behaviour.)
After all that, Bethany goes to school again and discovers that Jake has gotten himself quite a big following. And he may or may not have caused one of Bethany's friends (Taylah) to commit suicide. This girl being the same one who went: “Oh, Bethy, eww, you don't want to go to the library, only losers hang out there!” And ”"Everybody knows the Middle East is in Africa." :|
Jake of course continues to threaten Bethany, and his followers grow day by day. One of whom is Bethany's friend Molly. Shock, horror! And how do Bethany and her motley crew of two high angels and one human work out where Jake is likely to take Molly out on a date? Brace yourselves, the stupidity might require an ice pack from how hard your palm will meet your face.
"They look like goths,"
"And what is the centre of goth culture?" Gabriel said.
Ivy looked at him, eyes wide. "Death."
"Yes." Xavier's face was grim.
"So where would be the best place for a bunch of weirdos obsessed with death?"
The realisation hit me, and I drew a sharp breath. It was overstated, it was grim, it was dark, and the perfect place for Jake to stage his show. "The cemetery."
(Seriously, is Marilyn Manson the author's only reference for what a Goth looks like nowadays?)
So yup, if people at your school/other educational institution take up an interest in the Goth lifestyle, there's obviously a demon around somewhere! It's not a conscious choice made of their own volition, nope, it's a demon sucking out the happiness from their souls.
Also, is it me or is Jake pretty stupid for a follower of darkness? If the dumbest angels ever committed to page can work out where you're going to execute your evil plan, I think you need to go back to villain school posthaste.
What follows next is a boring as hell 'OMG Goths totally hang out in cemeteries and make blood sacrifices and endeavour to look as sullen as possible, right?' until Bethany shrieks and like an idiot, gives away her and Xavier's position.
She is then spirited away to a Victorian mansion, where Jake continues to threaten her... and then Gabriel bursts through the wall with all the powers of Heaven behind him. Hooray! But oh no, Jake proves to be quite a match (for a bloody archangel, need I remind you).
Until... in the mother of all awful endings... Bethany defeats Jake...
...with the power of love.
I told you guys you'd need an ice-pack. Hope you still had it handy.
Seriously, the power of love being used as some ethereal force that can conquer all evil? I thought that cliché died out when Sailor Moon finished airing.
Yeah, so while I had a good chuckle at that dénouement, Bethany just settles back into life in Venus Cove... until the sequel grab happens. A little scroll with a mildly threatening message in Jake's handwriting falls out of Bethany's locker. OH NO!
That so totally makes me want to read Hades, the next book in the series!
Actually, no, it doesn't. This novel was awful. I only finished it because it was so laughable, and I seemed to catch cringeworthy clangers on every page. The story makes no sense, the main character is a wishy-washy Mary Sue who has nothing to her personality besides being 'kind and caring' and 'obsessed with Xavier'. It's insulting to one's intelligence (with things that are obvious constantly being explained to the audience), and the villain is absolutely pathetic. Jake's inclusion into the plot seems more like the author realising she's written 110 pages of angelic fluffy romance and she needs to shake things up a little. And you can't speak of the villain without speaking of the other heroes. Gabriel and Ivy did absolutely nothing throughout the plot. Gabriel was just 'ZOMG HOT NEW TEACHER' and Ivy did nothing but arrange bake sales and help out at the local church. Also, isn't it kind of insulting that the two female angels are weaker and stereotyped as caring and nurturing? Piss off.
For divine beings from the Heavens, they certainly wouldn't be picked for my dream team to take on the forces of evil. And yet they somehow revitalise church attendance in this little township? Pah. Call me back when church attendance is revitalised by a sassy lounge singer turning the dull choir into a funky gospel troupe.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to purge the e-book from my hard drive. And my brain. 1/5.
(This review is also available on my blog: http://book-wyrm.blogspot.co.uk/2012/...)(less)
Lucy
"Priviledge Time". N'aww, that's so sweet! I remember we used to have "Golden Time". It was mostly for playing with Monopoly and Jenga - nothing nearl...more
"Priviledge Time". N'aww, that's so sweet! I remember we used to have "Golden Time". It was mostly for playing with Monopoly and Jenga - nothing nearly as great as cartoons.(less)
Mar 12, 2013 10:10am
Mar 12, 2013 10:10am
Nemo (the Moonlight Library)
Absolutely brilliant review, very informative and entertaining. I constantly flip back and forth on whether or not I want to read this. The issue is t...more
Absolutely brilliant review, very informative and entertaining. I constantly flip back and forth on whether or not I want to read this. The issue is that I know how bad it is going to be, but will I find entertainment in it?(less)
Mar 24, 2013 04:09pm
Mar 24, 2013 04:09pm
Jul 24, 2010
Gigi
rated it
1 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
An average non-critical audience with preference to those lovey dovey cliched scenes.
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it,
click here.
I have just the book yet after reading the first page, I was really disappointed. Not only was I expecting some delicate introduction about angels and their history, I was left with an unsuspenseful start to the novel.
I didn't really get anything about this book. It screwed with my mind and it became harder to read. It became a task to read this book. It was that bad that I actually HAD to convince myself, no FORCE myself to read this as I got it for free.
Let's just say that the writing let dow...more
I have just the book yet after reading the first page, I was really disappointed. Not only was I expecting some delicate introduction about angels and their history, I was left with an unsuspenseful start to the novel.
I didn't really get anything about this book. It screwed with my mind and it became harder to read. It became a task to read this book. It was that bad that I actually HAD to convince myself, no FORCE myself to read this as I got it for free.
Let's just say that the writing let down the whole story. It was filled with Bethany babbling about life on earth blah blah blah. Even when she wasn't with Xavier, he was all she talked about. Xavier this, Xavier that.
For crying out loud, you're a freakin' angel! How the hell can't you save your own skin? Seriously, every YA book tells us the same thing. We need boys to save us because we can't probably do that because we're so damn weak!
The only likable character that possessed some depth was probably Ivy. She was nice and understanding. I was left to believe that she was real. As for the others, they were flat.
Wait... I forgot, their mission was to save Earth from it's "dark forces". Hmm. Dark Forces. You wouldn't find out those "dark forces" until page 340 something.
Most of the book blabbed about her relationship with Xavier and how Beth needed to be protected. Why?
Are angels that fragile? Like, seriously, she has wings. She can just fly!
As someone had said before, this book DOES have the so called "Twilight Syndrome." Yes, it does because I found some seriously similar scenes. I can't think on the top of my head but believe me, there are some.
Okay, moving on. The way Adornetto writes is just ridiculous. She makes Beth sound like a dumbass which in her case she probably is. The writer uses too many similes, many of that don't even provide description to anything. It was just all over the place. I finished this last night so I can't really remember much.
Jake Thorn? Ironic. He's a demon and his surname's thorn. OOh, interesting. Okay. He really wasn't. He reminded me of a screwed up Edward. As if Gabriel, wasn't enough to fuel the whole syndrome, there's Xavier who is a half mix of Edward and Jacob.
So, his main point of making Beth his lover was because he spent centuries searching for the right "one". Demons have feelings? Wait, was he even a demon? No, he was an "agent" of darkness. An agent? She just twisted the whole idea of religion. She even made God sound rude and cruel.
Back to Jake Thorn, he really wasn't interesting. Sure, he can't write fancy poems, he's hot and that totally fuels everyone's hormones. But really, why Beth? She's so average and even she pinpoints that nothing is interesting about her. Damn right she was. She was just flat.
She was so flat you can run her over with a car. That's how flat she was.
She kept complaining how she was just new to this mission and fight for good and evil yet no matter, how hard she tried to be good, she messed up big time. One, wanted to impress her siblings that she adopted a dog. Two, she even rarely visited the lady who she adopted it from and the next thing you know, she's dead. Well, no, she guided her way to die.
More to her character, she kept whining how she was being a rebel but she "wanted" Xavier. Um, reality check, you were here to do your mission not be with some guy. Like, would it really hurt to be more guarded? Oh, and there's the whole sex thing.
I know there are consequences with the whole sex thing but seriously, another one of those Bella moments borrowed off from Twilight. For my sake, have sex already!
It's not like the world's gonna end. Well, maybe for Beth. She could be a fallen angel and she wouldn't be let into heaven. OOOH. Another scary plot.
No, damn it! You should be more focused on your work, you useless angel! Okay, another thing, how the hell can her siblings allow her to see some guy. They weren't even doing good to the environment. Sure, they were spreading "love" but seriously, that was internal. The environment could be killing themselves and all they'll do is,
"Oh no, this is all my fault, Xavier."
"No, Beth. It's not your fault. I'm here."
"Oh, Xavier, I love you."
Kiss, Kiss.
Like how cliched was that? "Bethany you have the most powerful gift of all." I was anticipating something then Ivy said, "love."
LOL. That was cheesy to the max.
Going back on the whole love thing. Um, Xavier, Emily died and you're still brooding over it? Harsh for me to say but reality check, she's dead, live your life.
Oh yeah. How the heck is seeing someone so beautiful lead you to caring about them? How? Geez, and the whole prom thing (was this even set in Australia?)
As a guy, you should know better. You could have still come to the prom. Use your crutches or whatever, even have a normal party. The girl said she wanted to be with you. Like, you guys are declaring your 'love' for one another yet you don't understand a thing.
Oh, and after Jake's blackmail, you were pretty angry about that. Yeah, there's no trust in your relationship. Oh, I remember some Twilight similarities, the whole after Beth got "dumped" by Xavier was sort of the New Moon thing for Bella.
Ridiculous!
I had to restrain myself from throwing this book as I got it for free and didn't want to damage the beautiful cover.
The book was just that. Beautiful cover. Shitty writing.
--
After having read her first few novels, I was extremely proud that such a young author can produce such a good book. Having recently discovered of her new work, I was excited. (This was also because of the fantastic cover and the title but let's not dwell on that.)
Though Adornetto might have an imaginative mind, her writing is so strikingly average and even a novice such as I, can write something like that.
Again, it is disappointing that she changed her perspective and writing to suit the genre. Her knowledge for words proved no match for the awkwardness that was delivered by some of the scenes. Some of the descriptions were pretty basic and I expected a whole lot more from her. I thought that she would have made an improvement in her writing, but clearly, I was wrong.
Nevertheless, I think she has a good grasp of the whole story but her poor execution through her writing hindered it. An unpleasant start to someone who I thought possessed great talent.(less)
I have just the book yet after reading the first page, I was really disappointed. Not only was I expecting some delicate introduction about angels and their history, I was left with an unsuspenseful start to the novel.
I didn't really get anything about this book. It screwed with my mind and it became harder to read. It became a task to read this book. It was that bad that I actually HAD to convince myself, no FORCE myself to read this as I got it for free.
Let's just say that the writing let dow...more
I have just the book yet after reading the first page, I was really disappointed. Not only was I expecting some delicate introduction about angels and their history, I was left with an unsuspenseful start to the novel.
I didn't really get anything about this book. It screwed with my mind and it became harder to read. It became a task to read this book. It was that bad that I actually HAD to convince myself, no FORCE myself to read this as I got it for free.
Let's just say that the writing let down the whole story. It was filled with Bethany babbling about life on earth blah blah blah. Even when she wasn't with Xavier, he was all she talked about. Xavier this, Xavier that.
For crying out loud, you're a freakin' angel! How the hell can't you save your own skin? Seriously, every YA book tells us the same thing. We need boys to save us because we can't probably do that because we're so damn weak!
The only likable character that possessed some depth was probably Ivy. She was nice and understanding. I was left to believe that she was real. As for the others, they were flat.
Wait... I forgot, their mission was to save Earth from it's "dark forces". Hmm. Dark Forces. You wouldn't find out those "dark forces" until page 340 something.
Most of the book blabbed about her relationship with Xavier and how Beth needed to be protected. Why?
Are angels that fragile? Like, seriously, she has wings. She can just fly!
As someone had said before, this book DOES have the so called "Twilight Syndrome." Yes, it does because I found some seriously similar scenes. I can't think on the top of my head but believe me, there are some.
Okay, moving on. The way Adornetto writes is just ridiculous. She makes Beth sound like a dumbass which in her case she probably is. The writer uses too many similes, many of that don't even provide description to anything. It was just all over the place. I finished this last night so I can't really remember much.
Jake Thorn? Ironic. He's a demon and his surname's thorn. OOh, interesting. Okay. He really wasn't. He reminded me of a screwed up Edward. As if Gabriel, wasn't enough to fuel the whole syndrome, there's Xavier who is a half mix of Edward and Jacob.
So, his main point of making Beth his lover was because he spent centuries searching for the right "one". Demons have feelings? Wait, was he even a demon? No, he was an "agent" of darkness. An agent? She just twisted the whole idea of religion. She even made God sound rude and cruel.
Back to Jake Thorn, he really wasn't interesting. Sure, he can't write fancy poems, he's hot and that totally fuels everyone's hormones. But really, why Beth? She's so average and even she pinpoints that nothing is interesting about her. Damn right she was. She was just flat.
She was so flat you can run her over with a car. That's how flat she was.
She kept complaining how she was just new to this mission and fight for good and evil yet no matter, how hard she tried to be good, she messed up big time. One, wanted to impress her siblings that she adopted a dog. Two, she even rarely visited the lady who she adopted it from and the next thing you know, she's dead. Well, no, she guided her way to die.
More to her character, she kept whining how she was being a rebel but she "wanted" Xavier. Um, reality check, you were here to do your mission not be with some guy. Like, would it really hurt to be more guarded? Oh, and there's the whole sex thing.
I know there are consequences with the whole sex thing but seriously, another one of those Bella moments borrowed off from Twilight. For my sake, have sex already!
It's not like the world's gonna end. Well, maybe for Beth. She could be a fallen angel and she wouldn't be let into heaven. OOOH. Another scary plot.
No, damn it! You should be more focused on your work, you useless angel! Okay, another thing, how the hell can her siblings allow her to see some guy. They weren't even doing good to the environment. Sure, they were spreading "love" but seriously, that was internal. The environment could be killing themselves and all they'll do is,
"Oh no, this is all my fault, Xavier."
"No, Beth. It's not your fault. I'm here."
"Oh, Xavier, I love you."
Kiss, Kiss.
Like how cliched was that? "Bethany you have the most powerful gift of all." I was anticipating something then Ivy said, "love."
LOL. That was cheesy to the max.
Going back on the whole love thing. Um, Xavier, Emily died and you're still brooding over it? Harsh for me to say but reality check, she's dead, live your life.
Oh yeah. How the heck is seeing someone so beautiful lead you to caring about them? How? Geez, and the whole prom thing (was this even set in Australia?)
As a guy, you should know better. You could have still come to the prom. Use your crutches or whatever, even have a normal party. The girl said she wanted to be with you. Like, you guys are declaring your 'love' for one another yet you don't understand a thing.
Oh, and after Jake's blackmail, you were pretty angry about that. Yeah, there's no trust in your relationship. Oh, I remember some Twilight similarities, the whole after Beth got "dumped" by Xavier was sort of the New Moon thing for Bella.
Ridiculous!
I had to restrain myself from throwing this book as I got it for free and didn't want to damage the beautiful cover.
The book was just that. Beautiful cover. Shitty writing.
--
After having read her first few novels, I was extremely proud that such a young author can produce such a good book. Having recently discovered of her new work, I was excited. (This was also because of the fantastic cover and the title but let's not dwell on that.)
Though Adornetto might have an imaginative mind, her writing is so strikingly average and even a novice such as I, can write something like that.
Again, it is disappointing that she changed her perspective and writing to suit the genre. Her knowledge for words proved no match for the awkwardness that was delivered by some of the scenes. Some of the descriptions were pretty basic and I expected a whole lot more from her. I thought that she would have made an improvement in her writing, but clearly, I was wrong.
Nevertheless, I think she has a good grasp of the whole story but her poor execution through her writing hindered it. An unpleasant start to someone who I thought possessed great talent.(less)
Taneika (Flipping Through The Pages...)
This wasn't set in Australia, because we don't have "prom", we have "formals" (which, I *think* is the same thing as prom, I'm not entirely sure!).
Oh,...more This wasn't set in Australia, because we don't have "prom", we have "formals" (which, I *think* is the same thing as prom, I'm not entirely sure!).
Oh, and great review by the way :)(less)
Nov 24, 2011 06:20am
Oh,...more This wasn't set in Australia, because we don't have "prom", we have "formals" (which, I *think* is the same thing as prom, I'm not entirely sure!).
Oh, and great review by the way :)(less)
Nov 24, 2011 06:20am
Gigi
Taneika (Flipping Through The Pages...) wrote: "This wasn't set in Australia, because we don't have "prom", we have "formals" (which, I *think* is the...more
Taneika (Flipping Through The Pages...) wrote: "This wasn't set in Australia, because we don't have "prom", we have "formals" (which, I *think* is the same thing as prom, I'm not entirely sure!).
Oh, and great review by the way :)"
Yeah, I found out that the version I read was the American one.(less)
Nov 27, 2011 03:29am
Oh, and great review by the way :)"
Yeah, I found out that the version I read was the American one.(less)
Nov 27, 2011 03:29am
Apr 30, 2012
fяσzєη
rated it
1 of 5 stars
Shelves:
covergasm,
angels,
i-am-disappoint,
unlikable-heroines,
dickhead-heroes,
pile-of-crap,
owned-ebooks,
coverlove-booksuck,
dont-understand-why-its-hyped,
horrifyingly-bad,
is-this-some-kind-of-joke,
cheese,
goodbye-brain-cells,
insta-love,
why-do-people-like-this-shit,
no-just-no,
waste-of-paper,
my-eyes-are-bleeding,
hot-mess,
sorry-excuse-for-a-romance,
get-that-thing-away-from-me,
what-the-actual-fuck,
too-painful-to-finish,
you-arrogant-prick,
where-art-thou-originality
My GOD, how could anyone possibly finish this piece of crap? x_x I gave up after several chapters because it was just so bad. Not even the funny kind of bad. Just plain bad. It took a while for my brain cells to heal fully.
I'll continue this book once giant unicorns poop out chocolate-flavored rainbows from the sky while wearing tutus and singing "Born This Way".
I'll continue this book once giant unicorns poop out chocolate-flavored rainbows from the sky while wearing tutus and singing "Born This Way".
Review first posted (8-26-10) on http://www.squeakybooks.com/2010/08/h...
Review: The little evil voice inside of me was really hoping this book would be badly written. Why? Because the author is younger than me. Yup. I was jealous. I'm gonna have to come to terms with the fact that I'm growing up. (ew.)
And it was well written, very well written. This wasn't well written "for a seventeen year old" this was just well written. So why only 2 stars? Three reasons:
It's the same story we've read a mill...more Review first posted (8-26-10) on http://www.squeakybooks.com/2010/08/h...
Review: The little evil voice inside of me was really hoping this book would be badly written. Why? Because the author is younger than me. Yup. I was jealous. I'm gonna have to come to terms with the fact that I'm growing up. (ew.)
And it was well written, very well written. This wasn't well written "for a seventeen year old" this was just well written. So why only 2 stars? Three reasons:
It's the same story we've read a million times. You know: two people fall in love. Only one of them isn't a person, they're a paranormal creature. They have to find someway to overcome this boundary and still end up being together despite all the odds (and the fact that they aren't the same SPECIES). I'm just tired of this! If you liked Twilight, and Hush, Hush, and The Dark Divine, and Firelight, and Shiver(etc. etc.), and are looking for another story like that, you've found one! Some books are managing to pull it off this well-worn story line, and other's aren't, it's up for you to decide
Halo spent the first 300+ pages trying to do this. It then spent the next 50-100 pages talking about whether or not the characters could have sex, which brings me to my next issue:
The religion. These angels are Catholic. Even though Adornetto tries to keep the religious aspects vague, they are still Catholic. I am not Catholic, and while religion in books doesn't usually bother me, it REALLY bothers me when beings SENT FROM HEAVEN are getting drunk and contemplating pre-marital sex. It's much less troubling when it's just a mortal facing these decisions. After all, mortals don't know everything.
I've got nothing against Catholics. My roommate from last year attended Catholic high school and we were best friends. But if you're going to create a religion-specific main character, and brand your book as just general "fantasy," you've got to be careful. That's one of the reasons I rarely review books that are based on my religion. I know that everyone doesn't get it, and I don't want to force it on them.
Slow. By the time we got past the issue I addressed in #1 & #2 we FINALLY reached the conflict in the book. However, by this point I was bored. Plain and simple. If this book had been 100-150 pages shorter then I think it would have been great. Or even if the conflict had started earlier it would have been AWESOME! Then I would have had something pulling me along besides the romance.
Oh, and just to let you know, the conflict in this story is extremely satanic. As in, the villain comes from the devil. This wasn't just evil, it was demonic.
Should you give this one a try? Certainly! I was so excited when I got an ARC, and I'm still really excited that I have a copy to add to my library. Someone is going to pick this book up (maybe they'll be Catholic, maybe they won't) and they're going to LOVE it. It will blow all other paranormal romances out of the water. But that person wasn't me.
(less)
Review: The little evil voice inside of me was really hoping this book would be badly written. Why? Because the author is younger than me. Yup. I was jealous. I'm gonna have to come to terms with the fact that I'm growing up. (ew.)
And it was well written, very well written. This wasn't well written "for a seventeen year old" this was just well written. So why only 2 stars? Three reasons:
It's the same story we've read a mill...more Review first posted (8-26-10) on http://www.squeakybooks.com/2010/08/h...
Review: The little evil voice inside of me was really hoping this book would be badly written. Why? Because the author is younger than me. Yup. I was jealous. I'm gonna have to come to terms with the fact that I'm growing up. (ew.)
And it was well written, very well written. This wasn't well written "for a seventeen year old" this was just well written. So why only 2 stars? Three reasons:
It's the same story we've read a million times. You know: two people fall in love. Only one of them isn't a person, they're a paranormal creature. They have to find someway to overcome this boundary and still end up being together despite all the odds (and the fact that they aren't the same SPECIES). I'm just tired of this! If you liked Twilight, and Hush, Hush, and The Dark Divine, and Firelight, and Shiver(etc. etc.), and are looking for another story like that, you've found one! Some books are managing to pull it off this well-worn story line, and other's aren't, it's up for you to decide
Halo spent the first 300+ pages trying to do this. It then spent the next 50-100 pages talking about whether or not the characters could have sex, which brings me to my next issue:
The religion. These angels are Catholic. Even though Adornetto tries to keep the religious aspects vague, they are still Catholic. I am not Catholic, and while religion in books doesn't usually bother me, it REALLY bothers me when beings SENT FROM HEAVEN are getting drunk and contemplating pre-marital sex. It's much less troubling when it's just a mortal facing these decisions. After all, mortals don't know everything.
I've got nothing against Catholics. My roommate from last year attended Catholic high school and we were best friends. But if you're going to create a religion-specific main character, and brand your book as just general "fantasy," you've got to be careful. That's one of the reasons I rarely review books that are based on my religion. I know that everyone doesn't get it, and I don't want to force it on them.
Slow. By the time we got past the issue I addressed in #1 & #2 we FINALLY reached the conflict in the book. However, by this point I was bored. Plain and simple. If this book had been 100-150 pages shorter then I think it would have been great. Or even if the conflict had started earlier it would have been AWESOME! Then I would have had something pulling me along besides the romance.
Oh, and just to let you know, the conflict in this story is extremely satanic. As in, the villain comes from the devil. This wasn't just evil, it was demonic.
Should you give this one a try? Certainly! I was so excited when I got an ARC, and I'm still really excited that I have a copy to add to my library. Someone is going to pick this book up (maybe they'll be Catholic, maybe they won't) and they're going to LOVE it. It will blow all other paranormal romances out of the water. But that person wasn't me.
(less)
Enna Isilee (Squeaky Books)
Because some people really like this kind of book. It's got a near-cult following from some people. Twilight has an average of 3.8 and most people I k...more
Because some people really like this kind of book. It's got a near-cult following from some people. Twilight has an average of 3.8 and most people I know HATE it.(less)
Feb 07, 2011 12:09pm
Feb 07, 2011 12:09pm
Ariell
I'm only just over 100 pages in and I am bored. I keep trying to pick it up and finish it and I am avoiding it. I rarely leave a book unfinished, but...more
I'm only just over 100 pages in and I am bored. I keep trying to pick it up and finish it and I am avoiding it. I rarely leave a book unfinished, but I have all the same problems with it at a quarter of the way in.(less)
Mar 13, 2011 10:51pm
Mar 13, 2011 10:51pm
When I first saw the cover to Halo I was immediately drawn to it, what a beautiful cover! My instant thoughts were beautiful cover, beautiful story too right? This wasn’t entirely true. I had several issues with this book, hopefully my review won’t come across as a rant but explain the reasons behind me giving Halo only 1 star.
For what its worth Halo did start off pretty well, it told the story of three angels sent on a mission to “perform good deeds, acts of charity and kindness, to lead by ex...more When I first saw the cover to Halo I was immediately drawn to it, what a beautiful cover! My instant thoughts were beautiful cover, beautiful story too right? This wasn’t entirely true. I had several issues with this book, hopefully my review won’t come across as a rant but explain the reasons behind me giving Halo only 1 star.
For what its worth Halo did start off pretty well, it told the story of three angels sent on a mission to “perform good deeds, acts of charity and kindness, to lead by example” basically to prevent the world being brought to destruction from the agents of darkness. It was interesting watching how the three angels; Bethany, Gabriel and Ivy would adapt to earth and cope with their human forms, especially for Bethany, as it was her first time on earth. Interesting enough but then in typical fashion Halo took the path a lot of angel books seem to follow; angel (Beth) falls in love with a human (Xavier) and this in Beth’s world is hugely frowned upon. By the time Gabriel and Ivy discovered Bethany’s secret not much had been happening in the story, the pace was really slow. So I thought FINALLY it’s about to kick off, something big will happen which will keep me from falling asleep or being bored to death! But sadly no “higher powers” had given permission for the relationship to go ahead Seriously?? So the story continued at its painfully slow pace, Xavier and Bethany's relationship began to get even more frustrating; with Bethany continually acting like a clueless damsel in distress;
“she had the face of an angel
What could Jake mean by that
Could he have possibly guessed my secret?”
And this is the funniest quote yet when Xavier has just been playing rugby;
"I looked in anguish at a long scratch
Across his forearm
How did this happen?”
Are you kidding me? And Xavier continually protecting Bethany as if his life depended on it.
And then came Jake Thorn; angels are supposed to be intelligent right? (I especially thought Gabriel was) but no one batted an eye about Jake taking Beth to the prom? I thought his name would be obvious enough (if you haven’t read Halo yet, Beth’s surname is Church, and so Jake’s surname should have given some sort of indication) What really got to me was how Beth agreed to go to prom with Jake, she had extremely been looking forward to going to prom with her boyfriend Xavier who she deeply loved, but because of his unfortunate accident he couldn’t go, so she goes with Jake; a guy who she’s not really sure about and who her boyfriend dislikes? seriously??
Another issue that bugged me was that Bethany was strictly told by her older siblings not to draw attention to herself, as they didn’t want anyone to discover their big secret! But none of them were subtle at all, they were described at times as having an otherworldliness about them, Beth speaks French so fluently in just her first lesson, Gabriel has an unusual way of speaking and the way he manhandles men twice his size so easily. You would think that someone would be clued up enough to realise that there was something different about them?
Overall I found Halo to be an overly clichéd book with an extremely slow and drawn out story, consequently a book I didn’t really enjoy. Despite my 1 star review, I’m sure that there are other readers out there who will enjoy and appreciate this book more than me.
(less)
For what its worth Halo did start off pretty well, it told the story of three angels sent on a mission to “perform good deeds, acts of charity and kindness, to lead by ex...more When I first saw the cover to Halo I was immediately drawn to it, what a beautiful cover! My instant thoughts were beautiful cover, beautiful story too right? This wasn’t entirely true. I had several issues with this book, hopefully my review won’t come across as a rant but explain the reasons behind me giving Halo only 1 star.
For what its worth Halo did start off pretty well, it told the story of three angels sent on a mission to “perform good deeds, acts of charity and kindness, to lead by example” basically to prevent the world being brought to destruction from the agents of darkness. It was interesting watching how the three angels; Bethany, Gabriel and Ivy would adapt to earth and cope with their human forms, especially for Bethany, as it was her first time on earth. Interesting enough but then in typical fashion Halo took the path a lot of angel books seem to follow; angel (Beth) falls in love with a human (Xavier) and this in Beth’s world is hugely frowned upon. By the time Gabriel and Ivy discovered Bethany’s secret not much had been happening in the story, the pace was really slow. So I thought FINALLY it’s about to kick off, something big will happen which will keep me from falling asleep or being bored to death! But sadly no “higher powers” had given permission for the relationship to go ahead Seriously?? So the story continued at its painfully slow pace, Xavier and Bethany's relationship began to get even more frustrating; with Bethany continually acting like a clueless damsel in distress;
“she had the face of an angel
What could Jake mean by that
Could he have possibly guessed my secret?”
And this is the funniest quote yet when Xavier has just been playing rugby;
"I looked in anguish at a long scratch
Across his forearm
How did this happen?”
Are you kidding me? And Xavier continually protecting Bethany as if his life depended on it.
And then came Jake Thorn; angels are supposed to be intelligent right? (I especially thought Gabriel was) but no one batted an eye about Jake taking Beth to the prom? I thought his name would be obvious enough (if you haven’t read Halo yet, Beth’s surname is Church, and so Jake’s surname should have given some sort of indication) What really got to me was how Beth agreed to go to prom with Jake, she had extremely been looking forward to going to prom with her boyfriend Xavier who she deeply loved, but because of his unfortunate accident he couldn’t go, so she goes with Jake; a guy who she’s not really sure about and who her boyfriend dislikes? seriously??
Another issue that bugged me was that Bethany was strictly told by her older siblings not to draw attention to herself, as they didn’t want anyone to discover their big secret! But none of them were subtle at all, they were described at times as having an otherworldliness about them, Beth speaks French so fluently in just her first lesson, Gabriel has an unusual way of speaking and the way he manhandles men twice his size so easily. You would think that someone would be clued up enough to realise that there was something different about them?
Overall I found Halo to be an overly clichéd book with an extremely slow and drawn out story, consequently a book I didn’t really enjoy. Despite my 1 star review, I’m sure that there are other readers out there who will enjoy and appreciate this book more than me.
(less)
Sam
Ha lol! It's weird to think of 'piss off' as a British phrase but I suppose it is. :P
Dec 29, 2011 09:34am
Dec 29, 2011 09:34am
Jul 05, 2012
Merary
rated it
1 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
Oh believe me, I WOULDN'T RECOMMEND THIS BOOK TO ANYONE!!!
Recommended to Merary by:
Got sucked by that hypnotizing cover and the hype
Shelves:
insults-my-feminist-self,
you-are-an-idiot,
religion-themes,
boring-bland-main-characters,
australian-books,
the-worst-i-d-ever-read,
that-s-why-i-hate-boys,
abusive-relationships,
activate-insta-love,
angels,
demons,
mary-sues,
paranormal,
strangle-them-with-a-chain-please,
where-s-the-fucking-conflict,
why-the-hell-is-this-book-popular,
fantastic-fantasy,
stalkers-creep-me-out,
reading-it-for-the-wrong-reasons,
where-s-your-backbone,
why-are-you-a-love-interest,
left-me-with-a-passionate-fury
I . . . I'm speechless.
I don't have words to describe how terrible this book was.
Wait, I know.
Halo made me have an ongoing war between my neurons, each of them battling each to the front of the "fry zone", so every time I read a terrible passage (and believe me, there were plenty of those!), thousands of my neurons got murdered in a undignified way to that "fry zone". Now my neurons are kicking my mind for receiving a very undeserving punishment.
That feeling of hollowness on my forehead? Halo di...more I . . . I'm speechless.
I don't have words to describe how terrible this book was.
Wait, I know.
Halo made me have an ongoing war between my neurons, each of them battling each to the front of the "fry zone", so every time I read a terrible passage (and believe me, there were plenty of those!), thousands of my neurons got murdered in a undignified way to that "fry zone". Now my neurons are kicking my mind for receiving a very undeserving punishment.
That feeling of hollowness on my forehead? Halo did that.
I'd never been so disgusted by a book in my life.
Every single thing happening in this book was utterly ABSURD, NONSENSICAL, CHEESY, STUPID, IDIOTIC . . . See? I can't even think of worse things to say!
Let's start with the obvious: The writing was atrocious. This book abuses the use info-dumping, purple prose, over-description, and one-dimensional, flat characters up to eleven. Adornetto gave unnecessary details of a room, a person, even of a fucking celery. Really? I didn't want to know to be reminded how a celery looks like! Anyone with common sense knows about celery!! Unless that celery is going to be a secret weapon to destroy every single demon from Hell, then I don't need to know about it. The sentences weren't well constructed either. Sentences like "eyes the color of thunder", "I looked into his eyes, like two blue pools", and the whole headband description makes me wonder if the editor was taking a nap during work and accidentally mixed the sentences. Or maybe Adornetto is indeed that bad of a writer.
The main character, Bethany Church, is an irritating Mary Sue. Sure, she's an angel from above, it was obvious that her appearance was going to be . . . heavenly. But, if the reader has to be reminded how perfect she is, how good of a person she is, how wonderful she is, how great her body is . . . Well, you get my point. Bethany is described with a very positive light from pretty much everybody in this story, despite the fact that Bethany is an useless, idiotic, whiny bitch.
And don't get me started on that name: Beth.Blonde, bland, boring Beth. Yeah. I just did a Seven Deadly Sins by Robin Wasserman reference. Beth Manning was a goody-two-shoes, and also very irritating. But the difference is, Beth Manning had faults that made her a good character.(view spoiler)[Besides, she isn't that perfect: She killed killed someone! (hide spoiler)] Good thing Bethany didn't look like a giant Barbie, because then I would had been very pissed off by the stereotype of blonde=good.
Is my review making sense? Yeah, I don't know what I'm saying either . . .
Moving on . . .
The personification of angels in Halo was extremely poor and shallow. Adornetto made her angels sound like perfect, goody-two-shoes, supermodels. We have Gabriel (you know exactly what Gabriel I'm talking about), who is pretty much like the alpha of the three angels sent to Earth. He has a very hard personality and also a very . . . hard body. Seriously. He was described as having a body like marble. Hmmm . . . where have I heard that one before? Then, there's Ivy, a very stereotypicalangel woman from the 50's. The only thing she does all day is cook, buy the groceries, clean the house, sew, and pretty much any typical "feminine" stuff. Heck, even her voice and body were described as "feminine". And finally . . . *sigh* We have Bethany fucking Church: The most human of the three. I wish there was new word to describe Bethany because "dumb and bland" just doesn't cut it anymore. Let's see . . . Oh yeah! Ditzderp. Pathetic, I know.
Anyway, she was a pathetic excuse of an heroine: She freaks over nothing, she's the perfect definition of "too dumb to live", she's bland, and pretty much does nothing to save the world despite being an angel. Everything was set to make Bethany look good: The dog, the car accident, her shallow friends, her suppose perfect boyfriend are pretty much some good examples. The audience was suppose to think that Bethany was a generous, heroic, perfect character to root for. All I thought was that she was a Mary Sue.
Despite the fact that Alexandra Adornetto is a Christian, she completely destroyed the basic ideas of her own religion. Some of the facts written in this book were incorrect (If you're going to do a little remix of a common mythology, stick with the basis, unless you want to look ignorant) and she only got based on superficial ideas of Christianity. The whole purity and religious concepts were given in a extremely negative light. The message is simple, of course: If you do any of this, you're going to burn in Hell. How can she live with herself? I have no idea.
And besides, most of the things that Bethany did in this book were very "non-angel" (lying, thinking about fornicating her boyfriend). It makes me wonder why she is not a fallen angel yet.Maybe she could had been if Xavier was a girl. *grins*
Also, we have Molly and company. The only things they talk about is: boys, clothes, makeup, sex, boys, prom, sex, and boys. The only purpose they have in this story is to make us feel bad for Bethany for being stuck with such shallow girls. It's obvious that Adornetto never had any female friends in her life because no girl is that freaking stupid or shallow. Okay, yes, there's girls who do talk about that stuff all time, but this was done in an exaggeration. Molly and company actually do think that Southwest Asia is in Africa.

I'm really not kidding. Then there's also the infamous, "Only losers hang out at libraries". And, of course, the whole "most girls think about being popular or about dating the rugby team". UGH. Excuse me, I'll be gone for a while.

Now that I got that off my system, let's continue. . .
The love interest: Xavier Woods. He's one of the most cheesiest male character I've ever read. He is perfect. Literally. According to Bethany, he has no flaws except for an emotional baggage. His features are inexplicably of a nut, and we are reminded of that in pretty much every single page. And he's also an over-protective asshole. Xavier always tells her what to do, who to hang out with, what to eat, what to drink, and he will beat up every guy who will look at his lady "the wrong way". And there's a possibility that he have watched Bethany sleep. Barf. The exchange of words between him and Bethany were very flowery, cliche and desperate. Not to mention, their relationship is the poster image for codependency. They both can't live without the other and the only thing they love above anything else is them.
Gag me.

The villain: Jake Thorn.

He was the most pathetic villain ever. He was harmless compared to other villains I know. It was obvious he was a demon and I was pissed that Bethany and the others were clueless about it. And you know what takes the cake? He's British. Oh my God! British people are eviiiill!! RUN! RUN! No. At the end, he was defeated. How, you might ask. Well, here goes . . . He was defeated . . . by THE POWER OF LOVE!!


I know, right?! What the fuck was that?!! That was a total rip-off! Yes, The Power Of Love was done with Sailor Moon and Harry Potter, but it was well done! The Power Of Love of Love in Halo was more of an excuse to make Bethany the hero. Again. And besides, Adornetto interpreted romantic love as more powerful than the Love of Christ. And she claims she's a Christian?

I could have forgiven all that, if it wasn't because this book . . .
was SEXIST.
Xavier always talked about doing certain stuff because he was a guy ("I'm a guy, I can eat anything!" I'm a guy, I'm suppose to like machines", "I'm a guy, I'm suppose to protect you"). And the obvious stereotypes: Ivy always cooks, dogs only obey to men, "Men don't wear makeup, only guys in boy bands", "Poetry is for girls", and there's the fact that guys are supposed to be the ones to ask the person out and do everything, girls are superficial and guys always think about sex, guys only attend as some escort at parties . . . and so on.
And after all this complaining about this book, I'm going to talk to you about the plot. Wait. WHAT PLOT? Exactly. It was nothing more than angels doing nothing, Bethany and Xavier being all cheesy and lovable with each other, a prom, a two-day break up, a minor angel and demon fight, a pathetic demon defeated by love, and a happily ever after . . . for now. THE. FUCKING. END.
(less)
I don't have words to describe how terrible this book was.
Wait, I know.
Halo made me have an ongoing war between my neurons, each of them battling each to the front of the "fry zone", so every time I read a terrible passage (and believe me, there were plenty of those!), thousands of my neurons got murdered in a undignified way to that "fry zone". Now my neurons are kicking my mind for receiving a very undeserving punishment.
That feeling of hollowness on my forehead? Halo di...more I . . . I'm speechless.
I don't have words to describe how terrible this book was.
Wait, I know.
Halo made me have an ongoing war between my neurons, each of them battling each to the front of the "fry zone", so every time I read a terrible passage (and believe me, there were plenty of those!), thousands of my neurons got murdered in a undignified way to that "fry zone". Now my neurons are kicking my mind for receiving a very undeserving punishment.
That feeling of hollowness on my forehead? Halo did that.
I'd never been so disgusted by a book in my life.
Every single thing happening in this book was utterly ABSURD, NONSENSICAL, CHEESY, STUPID, IDIOTIC . . . See? I can't even think of worse things to say!
Let's start with the obvious: The writing was atrocious. This book abuses the use info-dumping, purple prose, over-description, and one-dimensional, flat characters up to eleven. Adornetto gave unnecessary details of a room, a person, even of a fucking celery. Really? I didn't want to know to be reminded how a celery looks like! Anyone with common sense knows about celery!! Unless that celery is going to be a secret weapon to destroy every single demon from Hell, then I don't need to know about it. The sentences weren't well constructed either. Sentences like "eyes the color of thunder", "I looked into his eyes, like two blue pools", and the whole headband description makes me wonder if the editor was taking a nap during work and accidentally mixed the sentences. Or maybe Adornetto is indeed that bad of a writer.
The main character, Bethany Church, is an irritating Mary Sue. Sure, she's an angel from above, it was obvious that her appearance was going to be . . . heavenly. But, if the reader has to be reminded how perfect she is, how good of a person she is, how wonderful she is, how great her body is . . . Well, you get my point. Bethany is described with a very positive light from pretty much everybody in this story, despite the fact that Bethany is an useless, idiotic, whiny bitch.
And don't get me started on that name: Beth.
Is my review making sense? Yeah, I don't know what I'm saying either . . .
Moving on . . .
The personification of angels in Halo was extremely poor and shallow. Adornetto made her angels sound like perfect, goody-two-shoes, supermodels. We have Gabriel (you know exactly what Gabriel I'm talking about), who is pretty much like the alpha of the three angels sent to Earth. He has a very hard personality and also a very . . . hard body. Seriously. He was described as having a body like marble. Hmmm . . . where have I heard that one before? Then, there's Ivy, a very stereotypical
Anyway, she was a pathetic excuse of an heroine: She freaks over nothing, she's the perfect definition of "too dumb to live", she's bland, and pretty much does nothing to save the world despite being an angel. Everything was set to make Bethany look good: The dog, the car accident, her shallow friends, her suppose perfect boyfriend are pretty much some good examples. The audience was suppose to think that Bethany was a generous, heroic, perfect character to root for. All I thought was that she was a Mary Sue.
Despite the fact that Alexandra Adornetto is a Christian, she completely destroyed the basic ideas of her own religion. Some of the facts written in this book were incorrect (If you're going to do a little remix of a common mythology, stick with the basis, unless you want to look ignorant) and she only got based on superficial ideas of Christianity. The whole purity and religious concepts were given in a extremely negative light. The message is simple, of course: If you do any of this, you're going to burn in Hell. How can she live with herself? I have no idea.
And besides, most of the things that Bethany did in this book were very "non-angel" (lying, thinking about fornicating her boyfriend). It makes me wonder why she is not a fallen angel yet.
Also, we have Molly and company. The only things they talk about is: boys, clothes, makeup, sex, boys, prom, sex, and boys. The only purpose they have in this story is to make us feel bad for Bethany for being stuck with such shallow girls. It's obvious that Adornetto never had any female friends in her life because no girl is that freaking stupid or shallow. Okay, yes, there's girls who do talk about that stuff all time, but this was done in an exaggeration. Molly and company actually do think that Southwest Asia is in Africa.

I'm really not kidding. Then there's also the infamous, "Only losers hang out at libraries". And, of course, the whole "most girls think about being popular or about dating the rugby team". UGH. Excuse me, I'll be gone for a while.

Now that I got that off my system, let's continue. . .
The love interest: Xavier Woods. He's one of the most cheesiest male character I've ever read. He is perfect. Literally. According to Bethany, he has no flaws except for an emotional baggage. His features are inexplicably of a nut, and we are reminded of that in pretty much every single page. And he's also an over-protective asshole. Xavier always tells her what to do, who to hang out with, what to eat, what to drink, and he will beat up every guy who will look at his lady "the wrong way". And there's a possibility that he have watched Bethany sleep. Barf. The exchange of words between him and Bethany were very flowery, cliche and desperate. Not to mention, their relationship is the poster image for codependency. They both can't live without the other and the only thing they love above anything else is them.
Gag me.

The villain: Jake Thorn.

He was the most pathetic villain ever. He was harmless compared to other villains I know. It was obvious he was a demon and I was pissed that Bethany and the others were clueless about it. And you know what takes the cake? He's British. Oh my God! British people are eviiiill!! RUN! RUN! No. At the end, he was defeated. How, you might ask. Well, here goes . . . He was defeated . . . by THE POWER OF LOVE!!


I know, right?! What the fuck was that?!! That was a total rip-off! Yes, The Power Of Love was done with Sailor Moon and Harry Potter, but it was well done! The Power Of Love of Love in Halo was more of an excuse to make Bethany the hero. Again. And besides, Adornetto interpreted romantic love as more powerful than the Love of Christ. And she claims she's a Christian?

I could have forgiven all that, if it wasn't because this book . . .
was SEXIST.
Xavier always talked about doing certain stuff because he was a guy ("I'm a guy, I can eat anything!" I'm a guy, I'm suppose to like machines", "I'm a guy, I'm suppose to protect you"). And the obvious stereotypes: Ivy always cooks, dogs only obey to men, "Men don't wear makeup, only guys in boy bands", "Poetry is for girls", and there's the fact that guys are supposed to be the ones to ask the person out and do everything, girls are superficial and guys always think about sex, guys only attend as some escort at parties . . . and so on.
And after all this complaining about this book, I'm going to talk to you about the plot. Wait. WHAT PLOT? Exactly. It was nothing more than angels doing nothing, Bethany and Xavier being all cheesy and lovable with each other, a prom, a two-day break up, a minor angel and demon fight, a pathetic demon defeated by love, and a happily ever after . . . for now. THE. FUCKING. END.
(less)
Merary
Sarah wrote: "i disagree with your review"
Your review doesn't give me any clue on why you liked it. If you liked it, fine. Enjoy your book.
Next time w...more Sarah wrote: "i disagree with your review"
Your review doesn't give me any clue on why you liked it. If you liked it, fine. Enjoy your book.
Next time when you approach a review you don't like, don't be rude. "I disagree with your review". Once again, you're giving me nothing.
Now that I'm curious, explain why do you disagree with my review. And no, your extreme adoration is not a reason.
By the way, of all the negative reviews out there, why did you chose to comment on mine?(less)
updated Dec 15, 2012 05:11pm
Your review doesn't give me any clue on why you liked it. If you liked it, fine. Enjoy your book.
Next time w...more Sarah wrote: "i disagree with your review"
Your review doesn't give me any clue on why you liked it. If you liked it, fine. Enjoy your book.
Next time when you approach a review you don't like, don't be rude. "I disagree with your review". Once again, you're giving me nothing.
Now that I'm curious, explain why do you disagree with my review. And no, your extreme adoration is not a reason.
By the way, of all the negative reviews out there, why did you chose to comment on mine?(less)
updated Dec 15, 2012 05:11pm
Jan 04, 2012
Taneika (Flipping Through The Pages...)
rated it
1 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
More of my reviews can be found at Flipping Through the Pages!
A taxi I caught recently had the craziest driver I have ever met. The minute I got in the taxi, he asked me if I was interested in politics, I said yes, I've studied it and I still try to keep up with the latest... He took that as an invitation to start preaching to me about the political party that he supports. He gave me the party's newspaper in which this political party compares the QUEEN to HITLER. They also have the nerve to say...more More of my reviews can be found at Flipping Through the Pages!
A taxi I caught recently had the craziest driver I have ever met. The minute I got in the taxi, he asked me if I was interested in politics, I said yes, I've studied it and I still try to keep up with the latest... He took that as an invitation to start preaching to me about the political party that he supports. He gave me the party's newspaper in which this political party compares the QUEEN to HITLER. They also have the nerve to say that the Queen is worse than Hitler and wants to kill off everybody because "YOU ARE 70% CARBON AND SHE HAS APPROVED THE INTRODUCTION OF THE CARBON TAX". Everything this taxi driver said to me was solely his opinion and the opinion of the preachy, ridiculous newspaper which wasn't my belief.
I felt the same sort of thing happened whilst reading Halo. As an athiest, I do not mind if somebody is religious or has different beliefs to me. However, the moment that somebody starts preaching their religion to me, I'm not interested. I just don't want to hear it. This book was EXTREMELY preachy and I'd like to apologise to my stepmum and Dad for random outbursts of frustration and laughter.
So, Halo follows three angels who have been sent to Earth to combat dark forces. Excuse me, but what dark forces? The plot of this novel was non existent and consisted of info dumps about nothing and long, boring descriptions of everything.
Every single character was flat and boring. Bethany was the single worst heroine I have EVER come across. Worse than Nora, Bella and Luce put together. She had the personality of a pole and the wits of a Barbie doll. She could not do anything by herself, she constantly clung to Xavier and thought about him when they were apart for 5 minutes. She also couldn't bear to watch the news for fear of seeing something bad. What the fuck would she do if she was shoved in the middle of a war zone instead of VENUS COVE where a few people have died of illness and some chick had a car crash.
Xavier was an overprotective, boring, popular guy with ALMOND shaped eyes and WALNUT hair (anyone else thinking that Ally likes nuts?) who did nothing but want to hang around Bethany and protect her. I'm sorry, but this is not a healthy relationship. If my boyfriend wanted me to spend every waking moment together, and if we got to the point that we felt like we would rather die than be without eachother for an hour, then I think we'd have a problem. Wanting to do that and just wanting to touch, smell, hear, see, taste the other person constantly is not love. This is Ally's problem. Seems to me, she is a teenager who has been raised perfectly, has parents who are still together, went to a private school and was published at an extremely young age and therefore has very unrealistic ideas as to what is evil, what is good and about the world in general. Also, Bethany should have fallen but she doesn't (view spoiler)[because her great power is LOVE. Yes kissing your boyfriend can SAVE THE WORLD (hide spoiler)].. Ugh.
Not only are the primary characters flat and boring, the secondary characters are too. Bethany's friends are the worst. I'm not kidding when I say all they talk about is boys, makeup, shopping and prom. They have no substance whatsoever. Bethany's "siblings" are also flat and boring. For instance, Gabriel (yes, that Gabriel) just fucking cooks all the time and looks moody on occassion, and Ivy cooks, sews and cleans. Wow. That's just awesome.
Everything in this novel is stereotypical and essentialist.. for example, ALL people who like music have messy, shoulder length hair and carried instrument cases, ALL people who were artistic liked to accessorise and wear berets and scarves. Also, she is extremely essentialist toward "goths", "'And what is the center of goth culture?' Gabriel said. Ivy looked at him, her eyes wide. 'Death.'" Oh really? So every single "goth" loves the concept of death and cemetarys do they? Live a little Adornetto, you may realise that not everything is black and white. It's ridiculous.
Ally not only has a habit of preaching religion, but also her ideas. For example, Xavier would like to get into design (which I hate, just because I want to throw a computer when using Photoshop) but isn't going to because "[It] Isn't considered a serious career, is it? The idea of having invested all this money into my education only to have it end in unemployment doesn't thrill my parents". Seriously, if my parent's told me I couldn't do Journalism or Public Relations, I would tell them, "It's not freaking up to you, it's my life, I'm determined, I'm going to go far". I mean, the people who work for DISNEY and PIXAR did design. If you're determined enough, you can do it (Oh, look. Now I'm preaching!).
Also, Wuthering Heights and Romeo and Juliet is mentioned throughout. Romeo and Juliet was not a great love story. Shakespeare was not an idiot. His point was, if you fall in "love" really quickly, you will be messed up and quite possibly die. Yeah.
After about 200+ pages, Ally suddenly thought "oh hey, I mentioned dark forces, better do something about that" and introduced the worst villian ever. JAKE THORN. Oh god. He wears black, he has green eyes, he has a tattoo, he is British and he rides a motorbike therefore he is evil. Again, with the stereotyping! After about another 100 pages, Ally thinks "wow, I forgot about dark forces again", and so some shit goes down at prom (view spoiler)[where Bethy gets prom queen - of course. Jake kisses her and her and her boyfriend break up for two seconds (hide spoiler)], then some more weird stuff happens then there is this weird battle thing between Jake and Beth/Xavier and Jake is "defeated" by the power of love.
Ally also seems to have a problem with men (who aren't walnut-haired and named Xavier) in general. "Although the boys looked dashing in their tuxedoes, they were only really there as escorts; the night clearly belonged to the girls", so really, boys can't enjoy themselves. Are girls just controlling bitches who just use men as an accessory? Enough with the preaching of your ideas Adornetto, go away.
I think I read somewhere that Ally doesn't even have an editor. IT SHOWS. If she had a good editor, a good 100 pages could have been cut from this garbage. This book was the most apalling thing I have ever read and I don't appreciate having the author shove their beliefs down my throat.
Overall: TERRIBLE.
UPDATE: 19/11/11
I just googled Adornetto, and came across some articles written for the Sydney Herald website.
This article in particular supports everything I've said about Adornetto not being a fan of guys in general and being essentialist/stereotypical.(less)
A taxi I caught recently had the craziest driver I have ever met. The minute I got in the taxi, he asked me if I was interested in politics, I said yes, I've studied it and I still try to keep up with the latest... He took that as an invitation to start preaching to me about the political party that he supports. He gave me the party's newspaper in which this political party compares the QUEEN to HITLER. They also have the nerve to say...more More of my reviews can be found at Flipping Through the Pages!
A taxi I caught recently had the craziest driver I have ever met. The minute I got in the taxi, he asked me if I was interested in politics, I said yes, I've studied it and I still try to keep up with the latest... He took that as an invitation to start preaching to me about the political party that he supports. He gave me the party's newspaper in which this political party compares the QUEEN to HITLER. They also have the nerve to say that the Queen is worse than Hitler and wants to kill off everybody because "YOU ARE 70% CARBON AND SHE HAS APPROVED THE INTRODUCTION OF THE CARBON TAX". Everything this taxi driver said to me was solely his opinion and the opinion of the preachy, ridiculous newspaper which wasn't my belief.
I felt the same sort of thing happened whilst reading Halo. As an athiest, I do not mind if somebody is religious or has different beliefs to me. However, the moment that somebody starts preaching their religion to me, I'm not interested. I just don't want to hear it. This book was EXTREMELY preachy and I'd like to apologise to my stepmum and Dad for random outbursts of frustration and laughter.
So, Halo follows three angels who have been sent to Earth to combat dark forces. Excuse me, but what dark forces? The plot of this novel was non existent and consisted of info dumps about nothing and long, boring descriptions of everything.
Every single character was flat and boring. Bethany was the single worst heroine I have EVER come across. Worse than Nora, Bella and Luce put together. She had the personality of a pole and the wits of a Barbie doll. She could not do anything by herself, she constantly clung to Xavier and thought about him when they were apart for 5 minutes. She also couldn't bear to watch the news for fear of seeing something bad. What the fuck would she do if she was shoved in the middle of a war zone instead of VENUS COVE where a few people have died of illness and some chick had a car crash.
Xavier was an overprotective, boring, popular guy with ALMOND shaped eyes and WALNUT hair (anyone else thinking that Ally likes nuts?) who did nothing but want to hang around Bethany and protect her. I'm sorry, but this is not a healthy relationship. If my boyfriend wanted me to spend every waking moment together, and if we got to the point that we felt like we would rather die than be without eachother for an hour, then I think we'd have a problem. Wanting to do that and just wanting to touch, smell, hear, see, taste the other person constantly is not love. This is Ally's problem. Seems to me, she is a teenager who has been raised perfectly, has parents who are still together, went to a private school and was published at an extremely young age and therefore has very unrealistic ideas as to what is evil, what is good and about the world in general. Also, Bethany should have fallen but she doesn't (view spoiler)[because her great power is LOVE. Yes kissing your boyfriend can SAVE THE WORLD (hide spoiler)].. Ugh.
Not only are the primary characters flat and boring, the secondary characters are too. Bethany's friends are the worst. I'm not kidding when I say all they talk about is boys, makeup, shopping and prom. They have no substance whatsoever. Bethany's "siblings" are also flat and boring. For instance, Gabriel (yes, that Gabriel) just fucking cooks all the time and looks moody on occassion, and Ivy cooks, sews and cleans. Wow. That's just awesome.
Everything in this novel is stereotypical and essentialist.. for example, ALL people who like music have messy, shoulder length hair and carried instrument cases, ALL people who were artistic liked to accessorise and wear berets and scarves. Also, she is extremely essentialist toward "goths", "'And what is the center of goth culture?' Gabriel said. Ivy looked at him, her eyes wide. 'Death.'" Oh really? So every single "goth" loves the concept of death and cemetarys do they? Live a little Adornetto, you may realise that not everything is black and white. It's ridiculous.
Ally not only has a habit of preaching religion, but also her ideas. For example, Xavier would like to get into design (which I hate, just because I want to throw a computer when using Photoshop) but isn't going to because "[It] Isn't considered a serious career, is it? The idea of having invested all this money into my education only to have it end in unemployment doesn't thrill my parents". Seriously, if my parent's told me I couldn't do Journalism or Public Relations, I would tell them, "It's not freaking up to you, it's my life, I'm determined, I'm going to go far". I mean, the people who work for DISNEY and PIXAR did design. If you're determined enough, you can do it (Oh, look. Now I'm preaching!).
Also, Wuthering Heights and Romeo and Juliet is mentioned throughout. Romeo and Juliet was not a great love story. Shakespeare was not an idiot. His point was, if you fall in "love" really quickly, you will be messed up and quite possibly die. Yeah.
After about 200+ pages, Ally suddenly thought "oh hey, I mentioned dark forces, better do something about that" and introduced the worst villian ever. JAKE THORN. Oh god. He wears black, he has green eyes, he has a tattoo, he is British and he rides a motorbike therefore he is evil. Again, with the stereotyping! After about another 100 pages, Ally thinks "wow, I forgot about dark forces again", and so some shit goes down at prom (view spoiler)[where Bethy gets prom queen - of course. Jake kisses her and her and her boyfriend break up for two seconds (hide spoiler)], then some more weird stuff happens then there is this weird battle thing between Jake and Beth/Xavier and Jake is "defeated" by the power of love.
Ally also seems to have a problem with men (who aren't walnut-haired and named Xavier) in general. "Although the boys looked dashing in their tuxedoes, they were only really there as escorts; the night clearly belonged to the girls", so really, boys can't enjoy themselves. Are girls just controlling bitches who just use men as an accessory? Enough with the preaching of your ideas Adornetto, go away.
I think I read somewhere that Ally doesn't even have an editor. IT SHOWS. If she had a good editor, a good 100 pages could have been cut from this garbage. This book was the most apalling thing I have ever read and I don't appreciate having the author shove their beliefs down my throat.
Overall: TERRIBLE.
UPDATE: 19/11/11
I just googled Adornetto, and came across some articles written for the Sydney Herald website.
This article in particular supports everything I've said about Adornetto not being a fan of guys in general and being essentialist/stereotypical.(less)
Sabrina *The REAL Princess*
If your troll didn't get deleted, we would have killed her for you ;)
I just love how the troll decided to leave Brigid's review and still talk about...more If your troll didn't get deleted, we would have killed her for you ;)
I just love how the troll decided to leave Brigid's review and still talk about all of us (me, Lyn and Brigid) on YOUR review. But since she's deleted, none of that matters now!
(less)
May 24, 2012 12:59pm
I just love how the troll decided to leave Brigid's review and still talk about...more If your troll didn't get deleted, we would have killed her for you ;)
I just love how the troll decided to leave Brigid's review and still talk about all of us (me, Lyn and Brigid) on YOUR review. But since she's deleted, none of that matters now!
(less)
May 24, 2012 12:59pm
Brigid *Flying Kick-a-pow!*
Seriously. What a cowardly coward.
But yes, it's all over now. PARTY TIME.
May 24, 2012 02:50pm
But yes, it's all over now. PARTY TIME.
May 24, 2012 02:50pm
Oct 27, 2011
Bridget R.
rated it
1 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
People willing to kill their brain cells
Recommended to Bridget R. by:
I got sucked in by the five star reviews
Shelves:
e-book,
ugh-that-was-awful,
romance,
god-help-me-why-did-i-read-this,
hero-is-a-jerk,
why-the-hype,
paranormal-romance,
christian-fiction,
wtf-trainwreck,
i-found-this-offensive,
m-f,
nothing-but-i-love-yous,
ya,
insta-love,
one-star,
rage-inducing,
characters-flat,
charaters-tstl,
cliffhanger-ending
Please God, tell me your angels aren't like this!
You know how a song plays through your head when you read a book, and the lyrics remind you of the story? Well, the song was "Angel Of Light" by Dark Lay Still, and one line in particular stuck with me.
"Haunting beauty masks your ill intent."
The cover of this book is beautiful. What's inside is ugly.
The message I got from this book was: be a good Christian, go to church every Sunday, and if you’re different in any way, you can’t express it; you'r...more Please God, tell me your angels aren't like this!
You know how a song plays through your head when you read a book, and the lyrics remind you of the story? Well, the song was "Angel Of Light" by Dark Lay Still, and one line in particular stuck with me.
"Haunting beauty masks your ill intent."
The cover of this book is beautiful. What's inside is ugly.
The message I got from this book was: be a good Christian, go to church every Sunday, and if you’re different in any way, you can’t express it; you're evil if you do so. You must suppress the interests God gave you for His own reasons, or you're going to Hell.
I got this from the villain. The students that he befriended were Goths. Literally the only group of people in this book that dare to express themselves for who they are, and they get treated like they're sided with the devil. If the characters weren't goths when he met them, he turned them into goths--all of them were highly creative students, artists, musicians, etc.
Another message I got was you can only be a Christian if you fit our standards.
These angels would hate me. On most days I wear black. Almost all the music I listen to is heavy metal. Acording to Halo I'm going to Hell.
The "heroine" had not personality whatsoever. She was supposed to be doing good, but instead she put the "cramp in her chest" about Xavier before everything else.
Xavier was so perfect that he was sickening. I was tierd of hearing about his nutmeg hair and truquoise eyes...sure he's good looking, but what else draws you to him?
Why were the angels even in this town? I think God's servants can do much more than teach hymns, knit sweaters, "bring people back to nature," and walk the neighbor's dog. Everyone was Christian, went to church every Sunday, and was super-polite.
Interesting side note: Xavier said that he didn't believe in God. He said he believed in "a higher power, a spiritual energy." He basically said no when asked if he believed in God.
The climax was horrible. By the time these character even realize that there's a demon in town, they do nothing. They "wait for higher authority." I wanted to send some of the characters from J. R. Ward's Fallen Angel series into Halo so they could go kick demon butt.
I had issues with the climax. Not the "power of love" thing, but that it was romantic love, not godly love, that defeated the demon. For being a book that promotes Christianity, the author never talked about the love of Christ. Bethany, an angel, put a "cramp in my chest" before God. Once she "fell in love" with Xavier, she forgot about God.
I would not give this book to a young teen. Messages like the ones in this book will make them A. Terrified of expressing themselves B. Think that it's okay for a guy to take over your every thought C. Frightened of the physical side of a relationship. Did anyone else notice that Jake tied Emily to her bed so she couldn't escape the fire...and that Xavier admitted that they'd had "a physical relationship?" I don't think that's coincidence.
If you really want to know why this book made me so angry, please feel free to go through my 102 status updates.
I could go on, but I don't want to. I was deeply offended by the message I picked up, and will not be reading any more of this author. Yes, this book is clean (sex before marriage is portrayed in a very negative light, an if-you-do-this-you'll-go-to-Hell sort of light) and there's very little violence. Teens will love it "because it has a HOT GUY in it!!!" but because of what's beneath the surface, I would skip this one.
P.S.
Check out Covet, which is the first in a series. The angels aren't characters in the love story, but they bring the couple together. Another good book that features angels is Angel Time.(less)
You know how a song plays through your head when you read a book, and the lyrics remind you of the story? Well, the song was "Angel Of Light" by Dark Lay Still, and one line in particular stuck with me.
"Haunting beauty masks your ill intent."
The cover of this book is beautiful. What's inside is ugly.
The message I got from this book was: be a good Christian, go to church every Sunday, and if you’re different in any way, you can’t express it; you'r...more Please God, tell me your angels aren't like this!
You know how a song plays through your head when you read a book, and the lyrics remind you of the story? Well, the song was "Angel Of Light" by Dark Lay Still, and one line in particular stuck with me.
"Haunting beauty masks your ill intent."
The cover of this book is beautiful. What's inside is ugly.
The message I got from this book was: be a good Christian, go to church every Sunday, and if you’re different in any way, you can’t express it; you're evil if you do so. You must suppress the interests God gave you for His own reasons, or you're going to Hell.
I got this from the villain. The students that he befriended were Goths. Literally the only group of people in this book that dare to express themselves for who they are, and they get treated like they're sided with the devil. If the characters weren't goths when he met them, he turned them into goths--all of them were highly creative students, artists, musicians, etc.
Another message I got was you can only be a Christian if you fit our standards.
These angels would hate me. On most days I wear black. Almost all the music I listen to is heavy metal. Acording to Halo I'm going to Hell.
The "heroine" had not personality whatsoever. She was supposed to be doing good, but instead she put the "cramp in her chest" about Xavier before everything else.
Xavier was so perfect that he was sickening. I was tierd of hearing about his nutmeg hair and truquoise eyes...sure he's good looking, but what else draws you to him?
Why were the angels even in this town? I think God's servants can do much more than teach hymns, knit sweaters, "bring people back to nature," and walk the neighbor's dog. Everyone was Christian, went to church every Sunday, and was super-polite.
Interesting side note: Xavier said that he didn't believe in God. He said he believed in "a higher power, a spiritual energy." He basically said no when asked if he believed in God.
The climax was horrible. By the time these character even realize that there's a demon in town, they do nothing. They "wait for higher authority." I wanted to send some of the characters from J. R. Ward's Fallen Angel series into Halo so they could go kick demon butt.
I had issues with the climax. Not the "power of love" thing, but that it was romantic love, not godly love, that defeated the demon. For being a book that promotes Christianity, the author never talked about the love of Christ. Bethany, an angel, put a "cramp in my chest" before God. Once she "fell in love" with Xavier, she forgot about God.
I would not give this book to a young teen. Messages like the ones in this book will make them A. Terrified of expressing themselves B. Think that it's okay for a guy to take over your every thought C. Frightened of the physical side of a relationship. Did anyone else notice that Jake tied Emily to her bed so she couldn't escape the fire...and that Xavier admitted that they'd had "a physical relationship?" I don't think that's coincidence.
If you really want to know why this book made me so angry, please feel free to go through my 102 status updates.
I could go on, but I don't want to. I was deeply offended by the message I picked up, and will not be reading any more of this author. Yes, this book is clean (sex before marriage is portrayed in a very negative light, an if-you-do-this-you'll-go-to-Hell sort of light) and there's very little violence. Teens will love it "because it has a HOT GUY in it!!!" but because of what's beneath the surface, I would skip this one.
P.S.
Check out Covet, which is the first in a series. The angels aren't characters in the love story, but they bring the couple together. Another good book that features angels is Angel Time.(less)
It's interesting how the phrase don't judge a book by it's cover works both ways. Sometimes an ugly book cover contains a beautiful story. Sometimes a gorgeous cover cloaks mediocre work. When I grabbed a copy of Halo at BEA, it was like getting a golden ticket. Halo was one of my highly anticipated reads. I mean, look at the awesome cover! However, I wound up incredibly disappointed.
Read the rest of my review here
Read the rest of my review here
(Originally posted on Read All Over Reviews)
I was so excited when I landed a spot on Good Golly Miss Holly’s ARC Tour for Halo. I’m all about some angels and the premise for this book sounded promising. And then I actually read it.
I seriously worry about the future of women (and feminism) when there’s things like this and Twilight guiding our youth … and adults. I know that may be harsh, but I’m losing my patience. Halo was practically Twilight, but with wings.
First, you’d think that a book bord...more (Originally posted on Read All Over Reviews)
I was so excited when I landed a spot on Good Golly Miss Holly’s ARC Tour for Halo. I’m all about some angels and the premise for this book sounded promising. And then I actually read it.
I seriously worry about the future of women (and feminism) when there’s things like this and Twilight guiding our youth … and adults. I know that may be harsh, but I’m losing my patience. Halo was practically Twilight, but with wings.
First, you’d think that a book bordering on 500 pages would actually have a massive amount of plot development, but it’s sparse at best. We have to sit through pages and pages of empty scenes to even be given a small ounce of story line. And can I just say, being a teenage girl is not all about makeup, shopping and zomg!prom! What a way to paint them as empty eedjits, eh? Oh, and by the way it’s the 21st Century, girls can ask guys to the prom too. Clichés don't stop there though, no. They range from "poetry is for girls" and "I'm a boy, I know engines" and back. *sighs*
I believe if we cut this book down to just the main storyline, it would only be 30-40 pages long. It took just over 250 pages just to introduce the damn villain. And if that was a climax, it certainly wasn’t an enjoyable one. Remind me to feign a headache next time.
And don’t get me started on character development … what character development? The deepest person in this book is Xavier because he happens to have some so-called baggage, yet we only get damp up to our ankles. Our protagonist, Bethany, is even worse than Bella Swan in terms of completely devoting her every waking moment and thought to a boy she just met. What makes it ten times worse is that Bethany is an angel, a servant of “Our Father” (as God is referred to in this book), sent on a mission to help guide humanity back to the goodness of the world, and faith … and yet she’s distracted by a teenage boy. A teenage boy overrides a mission from God. I mean, come on. Only after what appears to be a week, maybe two, they are already reciting "I love yous"...
Angels are stoic beings, and yes, I can see them as eventually developing intimate feelings for humanity (we have the nephilim, after all, so mythologically speaking that would be the case). But eventually as in after eons on Earth, not the very first day they arrive. On top of that, Bethany actually looks to Xavier to protect her. Wait, did I miss the memo where immortal angels began needing protection from mortals? Must be in my “wtf” inbox, I‘ll check later. So are we saying here that even if you are an angel, immortal and powerful, that you still need a guy to watch after you? Is that it, because that’s what I’m getting from it. Angels are warriors, not whiny daffodils.
And instead of focusing on the mission at hand, Bethany spends her time thinking about Xavier or pondering up disgusting scenarios where he comes to her like a knight to a distressed damsel in some lofty castle bower. Bleh. Oh, and let us not forget the times when he isn’t filling her mind like a knight-in-shining-armor she is sick with worry that “omgz, does he not like me anymore?!!? Whatever will I do?!? I can't breath!” Nauseating. Angel. Psh. More like a Ninny. Oh, and we are even treated to a catatonic phase from Bethany after she and Xavier have a fight. Remind you of anything? *coughs*New Moon*coughs* Because, you know, it’s totally normally to shut down when you have a quarrel with a guy...
This was such a disappointment and was, I thought, overly bogged down with too many religious bits. I get that angels are bound to touch on religion, but you can do it in such a way that it doesn’t feel like we reading a Sunday sermon.
Again, I hate to be this callous but I’m just fed up with books that paint a bad example for our impressionable young ladies. Isn’t it bad enough that we have glamour mags and reality television … and Twilight? If I were a teenage girl, I’d be insanely annoyed that for some reason the media, and some YA authors, seem to think you all need saving by a knight on a white horse and that you are unable to do anything for yourselves.(less)
I was so excited when I landed a spot on Good Golly Miss Holly’s ARC Tour for Halo. I’m all about some angels and the premise for this book sounded promising. And then I actually read it.
I seriously worry about the future of women (and feminism) when there’s things like this and Twilight guiding our youth … and adults. I know that may be harsh, but I’m losing my patience. Halo was practically Twilight, but with wings.
First, you’d think that a book bord...more (Originally posted on Read All Over Reviews)
I was so excited when I landed a spot on Good Golly Miss Holly’s ARC Tour for Halo. I’m all about some angels and the premise for this book sounded promising. And then I actually read it.
I seriously worry about the future of women (and feminism) when there’s things like this and Twilight guiding our youth … and adults. I know that may be harsh, but I’m losing my patience. Halo was practically Twilight, but with wings.
First, you’d think that a book bordering on 500 pages would actually have a massive amount of plot development, but it’s sparse at best. We have to sit through pages and pages of empty scenes to even be given a small ounce of story line. And can I just say, being a teenage girl is not all about makeup, shopping and zomg!prom! What a way to paint them as empty eedjits, eh? Oh, and by the way it’s the 21st Century, girls can ask guys to the prom too. Clichés don't stop there though, no. They range from "poetry is for girls" and "I'm a boy, I know engines" and back. *sighs*
I believe if we cut this book down to just the main storyline, it would only be 30-40 pages long. It took just over 250 pages just to introduce the damn villain. And if that was a climax, it certainly wasn’t an enjoyable one. Remind me to feign a headache next time.
And don’t get me started on character development … what character development? The deepest person in this book is Xavier because he happens to have some so-called baggage, yet we only get damp up to our ankles. Our protagonist, Bethany, is even worse than Bella Swan in terms of completely devoting her every waking moment and thought to a boy she just met. What makes it ten times worse is that Bethany is an angel, a servant of “Our Father” (as God is referred to in this book), sent on a mission to help guide humanity back to the goodness of the world, and faith … and yet she’s distracted by a teenage boy. A teenage boy overrides a mission from God. I mean, come on. Only after what appears to be a week, maybe two, they are already reciting "I love yous"...
Angels are stoic beings, and yes, I can see them as eventually developing intimate feelings for humanity (we have the nephilim, after all, so mythologically speaking that would be the case). But eventually as in after eons on Earth, not the very first day they arrive. On top of that, Bethany actually looks to Xavier to protect her. Wait, did I miss the memo where immortal angels began needing protection from mortals? Must be in my “wtf” inbox, I‘ll check later. So are we saying here that even if you are an angel, immortal and powerful, that you still need a guy to watch after you? Is that it, because that’s what I’m getting from it. Angels are warriors, not whiny daffodils.
And instead of focusing on the mission at hand, Bethany spends her time thinking about Xavier or pondering up disgusting scenarios where he comes to her like a knight to a distressed damsel in some lofty castle bower. Bleh. Oh, and let us not forget the times when he isn’t filling her mind like a knight-in-shining-armor she is sick with worry that “omgz, does he not like me anymore?!!? Whatever will I do?!? I can't breath!” Nauseating. Angel. Psh. More like a Ninny. Oh, and we are even treated to a catatonic phase from Bethany after she and Xavier have a fight. Remind you of anything? *coughs*New Moon*coughs* Because, you know, it’s totally normally to shut down when you have a quarrel with a guy...
This was such a disappointment and was, I thought, overly bogged down with too many religious bits. I get that angels are bound to touch on religion, but you can do it in such a way that it doesn’t feel like we reading a Sunday sermon.
Again, I hate to be this callous but I’m just fed up with books that paint a bad example for our impressionable young ladies. Isn’t it bad enough that we have glamour mags and reality television … and Twilight? If I were a teenage girl, I’d be insanely annoyed that for some reason the media, and some YA authors, seem to think you all need saving by a knight on a white horse and that you are unable to do anything for yourselves.(less)
Lucy
And if that was a climax, it certainly wasn’t an enjoyable one. Remind me to feign a headache next time.
Snorted an energy drink out my nose. Great rev...more And if that was a climax, it certainly wasn’t an enjoyable one. Remind me to feign a headache next time.
Snorted an energy drink out my nose. Great review. :)(less)
May 03, 2011 08:20am
Snorted an energy drink out my nose. Great rev...more And if that was a climax, it certainly wasn’t an enjoyable one. Remind me to feign a headache next time.
Snorted an energy drink out my nose. Great review. :)(less)
May 03, 2011 08:20am
Chrissy
Lucy wrote: "Snorted an energy drink out my nose. Great review. :)"
lol, hope your nose is okay :) And thanks!
May 03, 2011 10:56am
lol, hope your nose is okay :) And thanks!
May 03, 2011 10:56am
Chris Hackett
I agreed with basically everything in your review. If you like "angel" stuff and don't like women seeming weak in these books, you can check out mine....more
I agreed with basically everything in your review. If you like "angel" stuff and don't like women seeming weak in these books, you can check out mine. They aren't "angels" per se, but based off of them and I made it a point to have the female love interest not be as weak as in typical romances. As a guy, I know what guys like - and it's not always the ditsy-I'll-fall-all-over-you type.(less)
Jun 15, 2011 09:09pm
Jun 15, 2011 09:09pm
This review is supplemented with lulz of the video variety. Go here to get the full effect.
DNF with a big, fat, capital RETCH. When I first got this book I thought it sounded really interesting and not too long after the ARCs were distributed rave reviews were coming out about it. Great! Then the article came out that made modern women's ovaries die. And then the revelation came that this novel isa TWILIGHT fanfiction heavily influenced by TWILIGHT. Add in Christian moralizing and 1950's gender...more
This review is supplemented with lulz of the video variety. Go here to get the full effect.
DNF with a big, fat, capital RETCH. When I first got this book I thought it sounded really interesting and not too long after the ARCs were distributed rave reviews were coming out about it. Great! Then the article came out that made modern women's ovaries die. And then the revelation came that this novel isa TWILIGHT fanfiction heavily influenced by TWILIGHT. Add in Christian moralizing and 1950's gender roles and I let it slide for a while. Until now.
Oh I have not had a lulz novel like this probably since TWILIGHT. I so wanted to read all the way through so I could enjoy the lulz to the fullest extent. Alas, I could not. I'm not a fan of drowning in excessive and needless description. I'm also pretty rankled that Gabriel, THE archangel, has been reduced to cooking mushroom risotto. How Adnornetto survived this smiting, I have no idea. If she'd been fucking with Supernatural's Gabriel, she'd spend the rest of her life in a herpes commercial.
[image]
[video]
There were just far too many inconsistencies for my liking. Like that Bethany (WTF kind of angel name is that anyway?) knowing next to nothing about humans but she sure had a knack for spotting fashion. I wouldn't think she'd know what cashmere or a Peter Pan collar was. And don't forget Bethany mooing about how plain, average, boring, etc. she was. We mustn't ever forget that. Because it's repeated constantly. Right, TWILIGHT? Wait, what book was I reading?
One of the biggest kickers in the mere 100 pages that I read was the angels of Light being sent down to Earth to save people from the Agents of Darkness . . . in a very white, rich, cozy beach town. OMG THE HORROR!!!! How will they ever accomplish their mission? SAVE WHITEY! Save the white prep school! For serious, did God have nowhere else to send them or was this the place where you send the "special" kids to make them feel like they're contributing?
Other gems worth mentioning: the angels' last name is Church (you're fucking kidding me), Bethany needs to be saved by Xavier when she's drunk (just cut off her effing wings now), Bethany is a fallen angel without actually falling (sorry, you don't get to say fuck it to your mission from god for RPattz hair and turquoise eyes and get to remain in his grace, I'm not even fucking baptized and I know that), Molly (the Babylonian whore, apparently) was already chastised by the super pure Xavier for leading Bethany astray, Gabriel admits to them being human and making mistakes (uh . . . wha . . .?). Imagine what I would find if I read more than 100 pages.
What a self-serving, moralizing, preaching pile of horsefunk this is. Why was this not published with a Christian publisher? Because it's obviously trying to force a message down the readers' throat. Alexandra, maybe you feel your place is barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen with your man to protect you but don't try to teach the human race moral lessons through thinly disguised self-insert fiction. I feel bad for this girl. She's so young and already she's reaching Jerry Falwell levels of douchery. I don't appreciate being told how horrible I am for the things I do with a hypocritical vag of an angel character that would SOONER LOSE HER GOD'S GRACE THAN LOSE THE EYE OF THE HOT CAPTAIN BOY. And Molly's the immoral, demon-possessed slut.
Holy shit balls. I'd recommend this book to the young Ann Coulters of the world that believe Christianity is the all-encompassing shit and women are merely things to be controlled by the menfolk. This is TWILIGHT on steroids. It's quite frankly insulting to be preached to by a hypocrite.
To keep my tangent in check I'm going to end this here but I will leave you with some lulz-worthy quotes that made me go -
[video]
I think the medical world would refer to that as the unhealthy obsession of one suffering from bipolar disorder.
Read: influential teenage brains are easier to manipulate.
Fan of pigeonholes, are we?
Modesty's an underrated human trait anyway.
Oh noes! Not teh sniffles!
Can someone let the neo-Nazis know that the Aryan nation has relocated to Heaven? Thanks.
Don't stress yourself out. We all know how horrible teenage girls can be. Maybe that option of going to Africa to deal with those silly mercenaries might have been a little easier.
Are you fucking kidding me?
I hope you don't break your neck falling off of that high horse of yours.(less)
DNF with a big, fat, capital RETCH. When I first got this book I thought it sounded really interesting and not too long after the ARCs were distributed rave reviews were coming out about it. Great! Then the article came out that made modern women's ovaries die. And then the revelation came that this novel is
DNF with a big, fat, capital RETCH. When I first got this book I thought it sounded really interesting and not too long after the ARCs were distributed rave reviews were coming out about it. Great! Then the article came out that made modern women's ovaries die. And then the revelation came that this novel is
Oh I have not had a lulz novel like this probably since TWILIGHT. I so wanted to read all the way through so I could enjoy the lulz to the fullest extent. Alas, I could not. I'm not a fan of drowning in excessive and needless description. I'm also pretty rankled that Gabriel, THE archangel, has been reduced to cooking mushroom risotto. How Adnornetto survived this smiting, I have no idea. If she'd been fucking with Supernatural's Gabriel, she'd spend the rest of her life in a herpes commercial.
[image]
[video]
There were just far too many inconsistencies for my liking. Like that Bethany (WTF kind of angel name is that anyway?) knowing next to nothing about humans but she sure had a knack for spotting fashion. I wouldn't think she'd know what cashmere or a Peter Pan collar was. And don't forget Bethany mooing about how plain, average, boring, etc. she was. We mustn't ever forget that. Because it's repeated constantly. Right, TWILIGHT? Wait, what book was I reading?
One of the biggest kickers in the mere 100 pages that I read was the angels of Light being sent down to Earth to save people from the Agents of Darkness . . . in a very white, rich, cozy beach town. OMG THE HORROR!!!! How will they ever accomplish their mission? SAVE WHITEY! Save the white prep school! For serious, did God have nowhere else to send them or was this the place where you send the "special" kids to make them feel like they're contributing?
Other gems worth mentioning: the angels' last name is Church (you're fucking kidding me), Bethany needs to be saved by Xavier when she's drunk (just cut off her effing wings now), Bethany is a fallen angel without actually falling (sorry, you don't get to say fuck it to your mission from god for RPattz hair and turquoise eyes and get to remain in his grace, I'm not even fucking baptized and I know that), Molly (the Babylonian whore, apparently) was already chastised by the super pure Xavier for leading Bethany astray, Gabriel admits to them being human and making mistakes (uh . . . wha . . .?). Imagine what I would find if I read more than 100 pages.
What a self-serving, moralizing, preaching pile of horsefunk this is. Why was this not published with a Christian publisher? Because it's obviously trying to force a message down the readers' throat. Alexandra, maybe you feel your place is barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen with your man to protect you but don't try to teach the human race moral lessons through thinly disguised self-insert fiction. I feel bad for this girl. She's so young and already she's reaching Jerry Falwell levels of douchery. I don't appreciate being told how horrible I am for the things I do with a hypocritical vag of an angel character that would SOONER LOSE HER GOD'S GRACE THAN LOSE THE EYE OF THE HOT CAPTAIN BOY. And Molly's the immoral, demon-possessed slut.
Holy shit balls. I'd recommend this book to the young Ann Coulters of the world that believe Christianity is the all-encompassing shit and women are merely things to be controlled by the menfolk. This is TWILIGHT on steroids. It's quite frankly insulting to be preached to by a hypocrite.
To keep my tangent in check I'm going to end this here but I will leave you with some lulz-worthy quotes that made me go -
[video]
It seemed from my reading of literature that being in love meant becoming the beloved's entire world. The rest of the universe paled into insignificance compared to the lovers. When they were separated, each fell into a melancholy state, and when they were reunited their hearts started beating again. Only when they were together could they really see the colors of the world. When they were apart, that color leeched away, leaving everything a hazy gray. (pg 12 ARC)
I think the medical world would refer to that as the unhealthy obsession of one suffering from bipolar disorder.
It had been decided that a school would be a useful place to begin our work of countering the emissaries of darkness, given it was full of young people whose values were still evolving. (pg 21 ARC)
Read: influential teenage brains are easier to manipulate.
I'd listened in on the prayers of teenage girls and most of them centered on being accepted by the "popular" crowd and finding a boyfriend who played on the rugby team. (pg 27 ARC)
Fan of pigeonholes, are we?
We had predicted that our arrival was bound to make an impression but we hadn't counted on people stopping to openly gawk at us, or stepping aside as though they were being visited by royalty., (pg 29 ARC)
Modesty's an underrated human trait anyway.
I was starting to get a sense of the extent of the damage done by the Agents of Darkness and it wasn't looking good. (pg 35 ARC, in response to an uptick in robberies, freak accidents and the flu)
Oh noes! Not teh sniffles!
That was going to be a problem during games seeing as we angels didn't have a navel - just smooth white skin, freckle and indentation free. (pg 42 ARC)
Can someone let the neo-Nazis know that the Aryan nation has relocated to Heaven? Thanks.
"They all seem lost to me," Gabe said. "I wonder if any of them really know what life is all about. I didn't realize we'd be starting from scratch. This is going to be harder than I thought." He fell silent and we all were reminded of the epic task we had ahead of us. (pg 48 ARC, in response to the normal actions of teenage girls seeing a good-looking guy)
Don't stress yourself out. We all know how horrible teenage girls can be. Maybe that option of going to Africa to deal with those silly mercenaries might have been a little easier.
The proverb that Cleanliness is next to Godliness couldn't have been more accurate. (pg 77 ARC, in response to Molly's messy locker).
Are you fucking kidding me?
We thought of technology as a sort of corrupting influence, promoting antisocial behavior and detracting from family values. (pg 101 ARC)
I hope you don't break your neck falling off of that high horse of yours.(less)
Donna
I haven't. I've heard people love it but based on my experience, the books that people absolutely rave about that fit into this PNR or dystopian mold...more
I haven't. I've heard people love it but based on my experience, the books that people absolutely rave about that fit into this PNR or dystopian mold I'm not going to like. I don't read fiction to get a sermon.(less)
Aug 01, 2011 10:36am
Aug 01, 2011 10:36am
Sarah
I like the cover but I read a review that mentioned how screwed up the chick's lips were and now I can't stop looking at it.
*looks more closely*
.......more I like the cover but I read a review that mentioned how screwed up the chick's lips were and now I can't stop looking at it.
*looks more closely*
....HAHAHA. Fabulous. What a fitting wrapper for a book like this. >:)(less)
Aug 01, 2011 01:20pm
*looks more closely*
.......more I like the cover but I read a review that mentioned how screwed up the chick's lips were and now I can't stop looking at it.
*looks more closely*
....HAHAHA. Fabulous. What a fitting wrapper for a book like this. >:)(less)
Aug 01, 2011 01:20pm
Oct 18, 2011
Ghirardelli
rated it
1 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
People who are against brain cells
*There are spoilers somewhere. Whatever.*
I don’t have enough snark on Goodreads. Granted, snark has been around and around and around this site and my addition of snark into the Halo series will drown in the other snark-filled reviews that will have clearly better points than me. Even so, I felt that I had to read this so I could join the Snark Army and contribute to the world and try to save fellow readers from this big, fat, ugly mess.
Mess....
“Mess” doesn’t quite do it for me. I could go with...more
*There are spoilers somewhere. Whatever.*
I don’t have enough snark on Goodreads. Granted, snark has been around and around and around this site and my addition of snark into the Halo series will drown in the other snark-filled reviews that will have clearly better points than me. Even so, I felt that I had to read this so I could join the Snark Army and contribute to the world and try to save fellow readers from this big, fat, ugly mess.
Mess....
“Mess” doesn’t quite do it for me. I could go with poor excuse for literature. I could go with monstrosity as well. I think I may just go with Brain Killer. That’ll work.
It’s because of literary attempts like these that I can sit down and say, “Hey, I may have a plot hole that I missed in my series, but at least I didn’t write Halo and thought it was the best of my ability.” Any mistake I make I feel will be okay and minor because it can never amount to the sheer fuckery that is this
Now I’ll be straight with all of you before I start. This review won’t be too intense on angel mythology fuck ups and what not, for the reason that I don’t really know much about angel mythology (and personally I don’t really care for it because I don’t find it that fascinating). Maybe that’ll change someday I dunno, but for now, there’s not much for me to say in the terms of angel mythology except for maybe...one thing? And that’ll be talked about later when I dive into how vapid and dull all of these characters are.
I would also like to say that I am not a religious person. I don’t really know what to call myself. I’m possibly agnostic, maybe even atheist. I’m pro-evolution so I guess that tells you where I stand. I have a feeling that because of my standing in terms of religion, this brain killer was bashing my head in with the goodness of the Lord and what not. Constantly preachy. That feeling may just be me not caring about religion. Honestly, all religions have all the same stories and it really all blends into a huge blur for me. So to me, I could give less of a fuck for it. Sorry if that offends anyone, but it’s my opinion and I stand by it.
I’m also quite sad that a cover as pretty and interesting as this one hides away a fluffy Three Musketeers-esque story about NOTHING.
Alexandra Adornetto’s Brain Killer is supposed to be a tale about Bethany the angel and her siblings, Gabriel and Ivy. They embark on a HOLY JOURNEY to go and save Venus Cove from some Agents of Darkness or something. No seriously, Agents of Darkness. And our angel heroes are Agents of Light. Can I join this agency, too? Can humans be made Agents of the Agency of Brightness Levels? Can I get an explanation for any of this or are we gonna dive - yeah we’re going right in with nothing nevermind. Here’s the summary:
“Three angels – Gabriel, the warrior; Ivy, the healer; and Bethany, the youngest and most human – are sent by Heaven to bring good to a world falling under the influence of darkness. They must work hard to conceal their luminous glow, superhuman powers, and, most dangerous of all, their wings, all the while avoiding all human attachments.
Then Bethany meets Xavier Woods, and neither of them is able to resist the attraction between them. Gabriel and Ivy do everything in their power to intervene, but the bond between Xavier and Bethany seems too strong.
The angel’s mission is urgent, and dark forces are threatening. Will love ruin Bethany or save her?”
I’m...I’m sorry. What the hell is this? Where was the scene that showed the effort of hiding their wings and glow and powers? Gabriel and Ivy never do anything in their power to intervene with Xavier x Bethany because of some circle of higher-ups that say, “Lol fuck it”. And if Bethany’s mission was urgent and she had a single brain cell in her, she’d know that her mission was more important that some WALNUT-HAIRED boy who can changes his eyes from blue to turquoise to aqua to sapphire to azure to fuckin’ rainbow.
Also, if these dark forces were elaborated on ONCE in this entire book, I may have a shred ‘o dread for our world. But no, we get nothing, because we’re all dumb YA readers and will soak up everything useless and pointless. This brings me to...
The Great Breakdown from Hell
OHMIGOSH see what I did there? Get it, Adornetto? Ya get it?! *ahem* So the writing for this. I really don’t think I need to explain many things about it. It’s down right shitty. Adornetto throws in this poetic nonsense that doesn’t even match with what she’s trying to tell at times and it’s just a giant glob of “Where the hell am I?” Her dialogue is petty, her descriptions are useless (SNAKE-GREEN! RAIN-GRAY! CAT-GREEN!), and she has zero grip on her tale of supposed misfortune and grief.
You know something is going to be terrible when even the WRITER can't figure out what's going on in his/her story. HONESTLY! Adornetto must have just thrown this shit together and said, "Haha, mom, look what I can do! And I'm only nineteen! Aren't ya proud of me?" Nothing in this beast was planned. All I can say is that there was an attempt and even that became washed out because of the love that Xavier and Bethany supposedly shared. Why did I torture myself with this.
Another thing I noticed was her punctuation. She’s what, 19? 20? And she doesn’t know how to correctly punctuate a sentence? The only example I remember is the one I have for Jake, which will be mentioned later on. I swear Jake had a cat on him because of Adornetto’s successful apostrophes.
Structure must have been on a hot ass date with Plot because neither showed up for the Brain Killer PARTAY. I’ll mention the Magic 3 system again here. The best structure I’ve seen, and swear by, follows three main climaxes: Beginning, Middle, Final. Each one is important in terms of writing/advancing character drives, developments, and even out the flow of plot and pacing. So while reading Brain Killer, it was strikingly obvious in places that nothing was going anywhere any time soon. It’s like I was getting backhanded for daring to try and find it. My poor head hurts so much.
Now I gotta move onto the characters before I start getting too into the lack of story.
BETHANY ZEE BEST ANGEL EVUR:
Bethany is as dumb as it gets. Bella at least had motives, as stupid as they were, but Bethany just doesn’t have anything about her that’s appealing. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. You get my point. She is a dumb little monkey whose perfect angelness allows her to learn things at ridiculous speeds and can perfect them in a matter of hours. Bullshit.
She also makes real shitty choices. “Oh I’m an angel, but I don’t know about drinking, so I’m just gonna chug my heart out at this partay and think nothing of it TEE-FUCKIN-HEE.” She has no common sense, no common courtesy, actually, I don’t think she has anything more than a hollow skull. Bethany is a shitty heroine. I don’t even think she’s a heroine at all. She’s not even a girl. She’s not even an angel. She’s not even a character. She’s just poop in the form of a supposed main character trying to relate to the reader and ends up failing SO HARD that it’s not even funny. It’s downright infuriating.
She also says that she has fallen in love with Xavier. Now that is one thing I know about angels. If they say that they love someone, I'm pretty sure they fall. Which did not happen. Because Bethany is just so precious and godly and a Mary Sue.
Her mannerisms fluctuated between somewhat righteous and flat-out nonsensical. I had no idea what her drive was or what the hell she wanted to do. She was just a dumbass head over heels for a kid who’d be considered a shoobie on Rocket Power. It’s time like these that I must selfishly throw in the awesomeness of Harvey Swick from The Thief of Always.
Harvey Swick is ten years-old, learns to appreciate his time on Earth, and saves his friends and family from a crazed otherworldly entity that longs to munch on his soul.
Bethany is an angel that appears 17 that falls in love with OH MY GOSH a boooooooy and learns nothing.
Yeah, fuck that noise. Bethany is just dull dull dull. I spit at failures like her. I honestly can’t fathom my hatred for this girl. She and fuckin’ Xavier and their stereotyping ways.
LORD XAVIER OF WOODS:
This little buttmunch. He was perfect, too. The school captain of Bumblefuck High, head of like...four different teams or something, and just plain hunky. Oh and he’s got a hundred-watt smile, so wear your shades, ladies. Xavier’s got the props to be a great wingman to the perfect lil’ Mary Sue, as stated by Ms. Adornetto herself during Generic Prom Scene #390993481A. Of course, he doesn’t actually GET to prom because of whatever reason I skipped over. It doesn’t matter anyway. It didn’t make the story better.
Xavier was just as shitty as Bethany, dare I even say more so. I was sitting and rereading Twilight I swear. Xavier was an asshole. He would force feed Bethany like she was a goddamn four year-old. I dunno who did that to you, Adornetto when you were 17 three or so years ago, but I know that if someone tried to do that to me, they’d have a scrunched-in face. They’d become part maine coon kitty.
I think what really killed me of course was just his relationship with Bethany. Every time they would chat, there’d be this discussion of boys liking things like motorcycles for the sole reason that they had a dick. Right, of course. Dicks scream bikes. Complete sense. Gotcha. The extreme stereotyping in this book really made me hurl. I couldn’t stand the obnoxious lines that I read. Xavier is just a condescending jerkwad and does sports sports sports like ALL BOYS DO! He goes against his parents wishes, and contradicts himself when he praises family values a number of times. It’s all just a big clusterfuck.
This brings me to another point. Women are seen as weak and shallow. The fuck is that about? And why do they crawl back to their male overlords and say, “Oh my, we have failed you I am so sorry! PUNISH MEEEEE.” Like, Gabriel’s word is the final word in their assigned house with no electronics and shit. And if I remember correctly, Ivy is higher ranked and yet she’s all, “Lol Gabe you are SOOOOO right! :)” What kind of fuckery are you trying to teach, Adornetto?
I’m just gonna move on because...ugh. I can’t stand this.
JAKE ‘KITTEN’ THORN:

Jake Thorn is the cat that tries to steal Bethany away from Xavier-
What? You don’t think Jake is a cat? But...he purrs and has snake/cat green eyes.
Well, if he isn’t a cat, he definitely HAS one. Says so right here:
"Jake’s face was molded into a mask of earnestness and concern, but his cat’s eyes glinted dangerously..."
Good punctuation work, Adornetto. Gold star for you, darlin’.
We are first introduced to Jake in Bethany’s english class, where he stands out for being gothy and cool-like. I imagine a darker version of Jimmy Neutron’s Nick. Anywho, Jake Thorn proves himself awesome by reciting Edgar Allan Poe’s Annabel Lee. This got me incredibly angry, but not because of the reference itself.
Anyone can reference anything in a book. Sure thing, go ahead, I’m not stopping you. However, if you are using someone as awesome as Edgar Allan Poe’s ANNABEL LEE, to use as a tool to get girls to swoon over your antagonistic character named Jake Thorn rather than for an actual symbolic purpose or meaning, that’s where I draw the fucking line. Poe is my man; we share the same birthday. We are birthday buddies. NO ONE DOES THAT SHIT TO MY BIRTHDAY BUDDY.
Jake, with his cat-green eyes (what), purring, and leather jacket that’s really just kitty fur cause he’s so evil or something, finally gets the plot rolling. And that’s probably the only reason why I like him. Also, he’s British. Cause evil people always have to be British, don’t they? Jake Thorn: British Evil Goth Cat. DOODLE BUGS, I CHALLENGE YOU TO DRAW THIS.
And because I have to make the Bruce Campbell comparison:
Jake’s the

To Bethany’s

No one else really matter in this story. Molly was somewhat okay, but never left an impression on me. Gabe and Ivy were robots mostly and Taylah (TAYLAH?!) and whoever else was in school just didn’t work as characters. Oh yeah, Xavier had a family or something. They didn’t matter. Not at all.
Plot-wise, this book suffered from Twilight/Divergent syndrome. NO PLOT WHATSOEVER until the last 10% or so of the book. Just stupid and dumb and annoying. And even then, the ending was just about rescuing Bethany and saving the day or some garbage. Anti-climactic and all-around pointless.
I’ve never been so angry with a book. Never ever. This was a preachy book about dumbass characters expressing unhealthy relationships and views against women. I really don’t think I can handle Hades or Heaven unless they end up being ridiculously and humorously terrible.
Halo was hell. Times a bajillion.
Good day, sirs and ladies.(less)
Lyn (The Heartless)
Jf12345 wrote: "Well, I agree with you on the book, but if you have ugly thoughts and words about religion SHUT THE HELL UP! There are people like you...more
Jf12345 wrote: "Well, I agree with you on the book, but if you have ugly thoughts and words about religion SHUT THE HELL UP! There are people like you who have read this book, however HAVE NOT made nasty comments ..."
So you are defending religion by.....cussing out this reviewer? So she doesn't have the right to share her opinion, but you have the right to tell her to "shut the hell up"?
That's so RICH!
Take your own advice.(less)
updated Dec 30, 2012 07:37pm
So you are defending religion by.....cussing out this reviewer? So she doesn't have the right to share her opinion, but you have the right to tell her to "shut the hell up"?
That's so RICH!
Take your own advice.(less)
updated Dec 30, 2012 07:37pm
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it,
click here.
Answer me this: there are a bunch of shitty areas in the world. So why is it that Heaven deems it necessary to send angelic intervention to the town of Venus Cove, a town where nothing horrible has happened save for a few isolated incidents? I suppose that a child scratching a mosquito bite until it bleeds and a basketball game being cancelled due to rain are such urgent matters that Heaven had to send angels to make sure humans aren't being bothered by minor inconvieniences. It's mentioned in t...more
Answer me this: there are a bunch of shitty areas in the world. So why is it that Heaven deems it necessary to send angelic intervention to the town of Venus Cove, a town where nothing horrible has happened save for a few isolated incidents? I suppose that a child scratching a mosquito bite until it bleeds and a basketball game being cancelled due to rain are such urgent matters that Heaven had to send angels to make sure humans aren't being bothered by minor inconvieniences. It's mentioned in the book that there are more serious problems going on in the Middle East, but Gabriel, Ivy, and Bethany can't do anything because they weren't stationed there. If they aren't going to to third world countries, the least they can do is go to a bad neighborhood. Three towns away from Venus Cove is a town that's riddled with drugs and gun violence. But no, people not going to church takes precedence over the little boy gunned down during a drive by. Seriously, instead of stopping gang wars, abuse, and underage prostitution, these angels are too busy teaching hymns and getting people to appreciate nature. I suppose they'll battle the forces of evil by singing hymns and talking about their favorite trees. The forces of evil will kill themselves to get away from that bullshit.
I had two thoughts regarding the angels' mission and the town of Venus Cove. One, Venus Cove was a town with a dark secret, and its perfect atmosphere was maintained by some serious dark magic. Then I thought that Gabriel, Ivy, and Bethany must be the most incompetent angels Heaven had ever seen, and they were busy whining that all the other angels got to have missions. So to shut them up, Heaven found the most perfect town they could and sent them there, thinking that they couldn't possibly fuck it up. Honestly, they do nothing to battle the forces of evil in this book. There was no need for the forces of darkness in this book seeing as it's basically some sappy crap about Bethany and Xavier.
I've noticed that a lot of novels don't really have a plot, just a series of events and a half assed climax. This is not nanowrimo- no plot, no problem does not apply. I expect a plot in my books, and if I get no plot, I at least expect some hot smut or some lulz. This book provides none. I barely remember anything about this book, and I just read it a few hours ago. Therefore, I will focus on what annoyed me and what I remembered most.
1. Why are they angels? Why? The story is mostly just about Xavier and Bethany being nauseatingly cute. The forces of darkness plot creeps up once or twice, but it's shooed away by the all consuming insta-love, and slinks back into the shadows. And then it comes back during the finale, laughing maniacally at the all consuming insta-love for shafting it and then punching it in the face. But then insta-love teams up with deus ex machina, therefore destroying any plot.
For all the good the angels do, they may as well not have been sent to Eath to battle the forces of evil.Consider this. Bethany is new in town and being raised by her siblings after her parents die, or abandon them or some vague excuse. Bethany is different from all the shallow girls in her class. Then she meets the unattainable boy who all the girls are crushing on. Then the unattainable boy gets with Bethany and the entire world stops. But Bethany's horrible family doesn't think that just because the unattainable boy smiled at her once in literature class means that they'll get married. So she spends all her time whining about how her mean siblings just don't understand her Romeo and Juliet love, and conveniently forgets the fact that Romeo and Juliet was a tragedy, not a romance for people to aspire to. But unattainable hot boy wins the family over with his impeccable manners that are clearly a wish fulfillment for a teenage girl who is mad that boys can't live up to her ridiculous and idiotic standards.
So everything is all sappy crappy when all of a sudden a mysterious new boy shows up with an interest in Bethany. Some contrivance happens and unattainable hot boy gets into a fight with Bethany even though he's been the perfect boyfriend until now. Then it turns out mysterious guy had something to do with it because he wants Bethany. Then to get Bethany, mysterious guy kidnaps her shallow friend and Bethany goes to save her. Of course, she's completely incompetent, and has to be saved. You see? Aside from a few minor tweaks, the plot of Halo is pretty much the same.
2. The romance between Bethany and Xavier. Based on her article, Ardonetto really does not like teenage males. She's tired of waiting for a man who will sit by her bedside and watch her sleep, carry her up a tree in the presence of danger, and protect her chastity. Seeing as human males have those horrible things called flaws, she decides to invent her own fictional perfect male to fantasize to, and it shows. Xaxier is clearly the guy Ardonetto considers perfect. Of course, her definition of perfect includes annoyingly overprotective. I've no problem with a guy being protective. But why can't it go both ways? Why can't Bethany hold open doors for Xavier and pay for their dinner? That's right, because Xavier's forced chivalry will be threatened. Holding open doors and paying for meals is all fine and well, but if a girl wants to pay for her own half and open the car door herself, leave her alone!
Xavier is also annoyingly overprotective. He carries Bethany because she cuts her foot on a seashell, for crying out loud. Her siblings appoint him as her protector, even though Bethany's an angel and should be able to watch out for herself, but I went into detail about how pointless the angel thing was. No, my issue is why does Bethany need Xavier to watch out for her? Does Ardonetto really want a babysitter rather than a boyfriend? Apparently she does, considering Xavier reminds Bethany to drink her water and feeds her. And I'm not talking about a couple playfully or erotically feeding each other. I'm talking about, "It's lunch time and my girlfriend isn't hungry. I am completely paranoid about her fainting, and clearly I know best, so I'm going to hound her until she eats and force feed her if she doesn't.
Xavier takes the liberty of answering for Bethany when she gets in trouble, and choosing her friends. No one HE doesn't approve of is allowed near his precious girlfriend. Bethany isn't able to choose her friends herself.
3. Bethany whining that her siblings don't understand her epic love. Xavier smiled at her once, so that clearly means she's destined to be with him. I'm so tired of these teenage girls in books whining that no one understands their love at first sight romance. Having a crush on a guy you've spoken to a few times is clearly grounds for ignoring the fact that you were sent to Earth on a mission, not to make googly eyes at some preppy boy. But Bethany deems it perfectly fine to show Xavier she's an angel. And then Xavier whines about how he doesn't want her to go back to Heaven and that she should get free will, even though she was sent to Earth to do a job, not make eyes at some hot guy.
4. The misinterpretation of classic literature. Every time someone treats Romeo and Juliet as a romance to aspire to, someone who can analyze classic literature dies. When is it going to get through these authors' thick heads that Romeo and Juliet is not an ideal romance? But no, I forgot. Seeing someone once means you're destined to be with them, and anyone who tells you that you don't know the person or that you're being stupid is just being mean. Ardonetto clearly thinks it's romantic when a person becomes the center of your universe and that if you don't have chest pains when you're away from your partner, there's something wrong with you.
5. The stereoptyping. Apparently all guys want sex. Except for Xavier because he's too much of a gentleman to have those beastly urges. And all the girls are obsessed with prom, boys, and makeup. That's all they talked about. Seriously. I didn't go to prom because I didn't care, but I don't have anything against people who want to go to prom and enjoy it. What I do have an issue with is the obsession over prom. That was all these girls talked about. They were counting down six months in advance! And then they had to eat salad and couldn't drink coffee in case they got too fat. And they were whining about the guys having to ask them out. Here's a simple solution: Ask the guy out yourself or go stag. No wait, going stag is social suicide. Then go in a group. And all teenage girls care about is being popular and getting a hot guy. Forgot about that. Ardonetto does what a lot of YA writers seem to do and makes everyone else shallow so that Bethany looks like a saint in advance.
6. The sex preaching. I really hate people referring to virginity as someone's chastity and purity. It's clear Ardonetto thinks that a girl's virgnity is some precious treasure to be safeguarded. Gag me. Bethany doesn't get to decide when she's ready, Xavier does. And Bethany shouldn't have sex with someone she loves. Because if she loses her virginity to someone she loves and she breaks up, it's the worst mistake ever and she'll never be able to get her precious virginity back. Why can't girls be in control of their sexuality? Why is it that no one ever tells guys to guard their virginity? Why is it that guys can't be nervous about their virginity? What about gays and lesbians? How does it work for them? Is a guy's virginity as precious as a girl's? What, do people think guys can't be virgins and that they only exist to take a girl's virginity? And what about bisexual people? Should they lose their virginity to a male or female? Heterosexual girls having to be the only ones to guard their virginity is as offensive as people saying the main goal of sex is procreation, and not taking into account gays.
7. The contrivances. After god knows how many pages of Bethany being nauseating with Xavier, the plot shows up. It was really contrived. There's a new British student in Bethany's English class named Jake Thorn who has a British accent and wears black. At Xavier's rugby game there's some mysterious person there. Anyone with half a brain knows that it's Jake Thorn looking to hurt Xavier.Actually, I thought he was a child kidnapper as well. What do you know?! Xavier's injured! Nothing life threatening, but he can't take Bethany to prom! The horror!Apparently going by herself in 2010 is social suicide. Ignoring that dated idiocy, why didn't Bethany and Xavier just have a private prom? Xavier is such a good boyfriend that I'm sure he wouldn't mind holding a private prom for his angel.
But no, Jake has to escort Bethany so we can get to the next contrivance. Bethany can heal someone from a car crash, but she can't heal a fractured ankle and concussion because of some bullshit reason. So Jake has to take her to prom, and it turns out he likes her. He kisses her, Bethany decides not to tell Xavier even though it would have saved some trouble if she had just gone to Xavier and said that Jake forced himself on her. I don't remember why she didn't tell Xavier. Xavier sees the picture on Facebook. Naturally he doesn't give her a chance to explain and breaks up with her. Of course Bethany can't live without him, until they get back together two days later. Who didn't see any of this coming?
But wait, it gets worse. Bethany and her siblings suspected something was off with Jake, but didn't mention it in case they were wrong. Jake kidnaps Bethany's shallow best friend who all mad that guys like Bethany better and she refuses to listen to Beth's warnings. So Bethany has to be all selfless and save her, and you'd think that since she's the supernatural creature in this case she should have knowledge of demons and be able to do shit. But no, she's as useless as any other main girl who disappears behind her love interest. She's about to be killed and natural selection is about to rule the playground, when Xavier saves her. Fuck. Why must the love interests save these TSTL heroines? Why? They're contaminating the gene pool! There isn't any room for competent heroines!
After a lame climax, Bethany and Xavier go back to being sickeningly sweethearts, and there's lame cliffhanger. The end.
I'm always interested and jealous when a teen gets something published. I'm nineteen, so I figure if they can get published, so can I. But I wonder if people judge teen's work based on age, and not merit. People seem to kick up a fuss whenever a teen or young person shows some talent. I'm glad that I didn't try to get my early works published. Maybe people would have praised me and be willing to cut me some slack because I was young, but my work sucked. I'm glad that I don't have it published. I wonder if Ardonetto will feel the same way.(less)
I had two thoughts regarding the angels' mission and the town of Venus Cove. One, Venus Cove was a town with a dark secret, and its perfect atmosphere was maintained by some serious dark magic. Then I thought that Gabriel, Ivy, and Bethany must be the most incompetent angels Heaven had ever seen, and they were busy whining that all the other angels got to have missions. So to shut them up, Heaven found the most perfect town they could and sent them there, thinking that they couldn't possibly fuck it up. Honestly, they do nothing to battle the forces of evil in this book. There was no need for the forces of darkness in this book seeing as it's basically some sappy crap about Bethany and Xavier.
I've noticed that a lot of novels don't really have a plot, just a series of events and a half assed climax. This is not nanowrimo- no plot, no problem does not apply. I expect a plot in my books, and if I get no plot, I at least expect some hot smut or some lulz. This book provides none. I barely remember anything about this book, and I just read it a few hours ago. Therefore, I will focus on what annoyed me and what I remembered most.
1. Why are they angels? Why? The story is mostly just about Xavier and Bethany being nauseatingly cute. The forces of darkness plot creeps up once or twice, but it's shooed away by the all consuming insta-love, and slinks back into the shadows. And then it comes back during the finale, laughing maniacally at the all consuming insta-love for shafting it and then punching it in the face. But then insta-love teams up with deus ex machina, therefore destroying any plot.
For all the good the angels do, they may as well not have been sent to Eath to battle the forces of evil.Consider this. Bethany is new in town and being raised by her siblings after her parents die, or abandon them or some vague excuse. Bethany is different from all the shallow girls in her class. Then she meets the unattainable boy who all the girls are crushing on. Then the unattainable boy gets with Bethany and the entire world stops. But Bethany's horrible family doesn't think that just because the unattainable boy smiled at her once in literature class means that they'll get married. So she spends all her time whining about how her mean siblings just don't understand her Romeo and Juliet love, and conveniently forgets the fact that Romeo and Juliet was a tragedy, not a romance for people to aspire to. But unattainable hot boy wins the family over with his impeccable manners that are clearly a wish fulfillment for a teenage girl who is mad that boys can't live up to her ridiculous and idiotic standards.
So everything is all sappy crappy when all of a sudden a mysterious new boy shows up with an interest in Bethany. Some contrivance happens and unattainable hot boy gets into a fight with Bethany even though he's been the perfect boyfriend until now. Then it turns out mysterious guy had something to do with it because he wants Bethany. Then to get Bethany, mysterious guy kidnaps her shallow friend and Bethany goes to save her. Of course, she's completely incompetent, and has to be saved. You see? Aside from a few minor tweaks, the plot of Halo is pretty much the same.
2. The romance between Bethany and Xavier. Based on her article, Ardonetto really does not like teenage males. She's tired of waiting for a man who will sit by her bedside and watch her sleep, carry her up a tree in the presence of danger, and protect her chastity. Seeing as human males have those horrible things called flaws, she decides to invent her own fictional perfect male to fantasize to, and it shows. Xaxier is clearly the guy Ardonetto considers perfect. Of course, her definition of perfect includes annoyingly overprotective. I've no problem with a guy being protective. But why can't it go both ways? Why can't Bethany hold open doors for Xavier and pay for their dinner? That's right, because Xavier's forced chivalry will be threatened. Holding open doors and paying for meals is all fine and well, but if a girl wants to pay for her own half and open the car door herself, leave her alone!
Xavier is also annoyingly overprotective. He carries Bethany because she cuts her foot on a seashell, for crying out loud. Her siblings appoint him as her protector, even though Bethany's an angel and should be able to watch out for herself, but I went into detail about how pointless the angel thing was. No, my issue is why does Bethany need Xavier to watch out for her? Does Ardonetto really want a babysitter rather than a boyfriend? Apparently she does, considering Xavier reminds Bethany to drink her water and feeds her. And I'm not talking about a couple playfully or erotically feeding each other. I'm talking about, "It's lunch time and my girlfriend isn't hungry. I am completely paranoid about her fainting, and clearly I know best, so I'm going to hound her until she eats and force feed her if she doesn't.
Xavier takes the liberty of answering for Bethany when she gets in trouble, and choosing her friends. No one HE doesn't approve of is allowed near his precious girlfriend. Bethany isn't able to choose her friends herself.
3. Bethany whining that her siblings don't understand her epic love. Xavier smiled at her once, so that clearly means she's destined to be with him. I'm so tired of these teenage girls in books whining that no one understands their love at first sight romance. Having a crush on a guy you've spoken to a few times is clearly grounds for ignoring the fact that you were sent to Earth on a mission, not to make googly eyes at some preppy boy. But Bethany deems it perfectly fine to show Xavier she's an angel. And then Xavier whines about how he doesn't want her to go back to Heaven and that she should get free will, even though she was sent to Earth to do a job, not make eyes at some hot guy.
4. The misinterpretation of classic literature. Every time someone treats Romeo and Juliet as a romance to aspire to, someone who can analyze classic literature dies. When is it going to get through these authors' thick heads that Romeo and Juliet is not an ideal romance? But no, I forgot. Seeing someone once means you're destined to be with them, and anyone who tells you that you don't know the person or that you're being stupid is just being mean. Ardonetto clearly thinks it's romantic when a person becomes the center of your universe and that if you don't have chest pains when you're away from your partner, there's something wrong with you.
5. The stereoptyping. Apparently all guys want sex. Except for Xavier because he's too much of a gentleman to have those beastly urges. And all the girls are obsessed with prom, boys, and makeup. That's all they talked about. Seriously. I didn't go to prom because I didn't care, but I don't have anything against people who want to go to prom and enjoy it. What I do have an issue with is the obsession over prom. That was all these girls talked about. They were counting down six months in advance! And then they had to eat salad and couldn't drink coffee in case they got too fat. And they were whining about the guys having to ask them out. Here's a simple solution: Ask the guy out yourself or go stag. No wait, going stag is social suicide. Then go in a group. And all teenage girls care about is being popular and getting a hot guy. Forgot about that. Ardonetto does what a lot of YA writers seem to do and makes everyone else shallow so that Bethany looks like a saint in advance.
6. The sex preaching. I really hate people referring to virginity as someone's chastity and purity. It's clear Ardonetto thinks that a girl's virgnity is some precious treasure to be safeguarded. Gag me. Bethany doesn't get to decide when she's ready, Xavier does. And Bethany shouldn't have sex with someone she loves. Because if she loses her virginity to someone she loves and she breaks up, it's the worst mistake ever and she'll never be able to get her precious virginity back. Why can't girls be in control of their sexuality? Why is it that no one ever tells guys to guard their virginity? Why is it that guys can't be nervous about their virginity? What about gays and lesbians? How does it work for them? Is a guy's virginity as precious as a girl's? What, do people think guys can't be virgins and that they only exist to take a girl's virginity? And what about bisexual people? Should they lose their virginity to a male or female? Heterosexual girls having to be the only ones to guard their virginity is as offensive as people saying the main goal of sex is procreation, and not taking into account gays.
7. The contrivances. After god knows how many pages of Bethany being nauseating with Xavier, the plot shows up. It was really contrived. There's a new British student in Bethany's English class named Jake Thorn who has a British accent and wears black. At Xavier's rugby game there's some mysterious person there. Anyone with half a brain knows that it's Jake Thorn looking to hurt Xavier.Actually, I thought he was a child kidnapper as well. What do you know?! Xavier's injured! Nothing life threatening, but he can't take Bethany to prom! The horror!Apparently going by herself in 2010 is social suicide. Ignoring that dated idiocy, why didn't Bethany and Xavier just have a private prom? Xavier is such a good boyfriend that I'm sure he wouldn't mind holding a private prom for his angel.
But no, Jake has to escort Bethany so we can get to the next contrivance. Bethany can heal someone from a car crash, but she can't heal a fractured ankle and concussion because of some bullshit reason. So Jake has to take her to prom, and it turns out he likes her. He kisses her, Bethany decides not to tell Xavier even though it would have saved some trouble if she had just gone to Xavier and said that Jake forced himself on her. I don't remember why she didn't tell Xavier. Xavier sees the picture on Facebook. Naturally he doesn't give her a chance to explain and breaks up with her. Of course Bethany can't live without him, until they get back together two days later. Who didn't see any of this coming?
But wait, it gets worse. Bethany and her siblings suspected something was off with Jake, but didn't mention it in case they were wrong. Jake kidnaps Bethany's shallow best friend who all mad that guys like Bethany better and she refuses to listen to Beth's warnings. So Bethany has to be all selfless and save her, and you'd think that since she's the supernatural creature in this case she should have knowledge of demons and be able to do shit. But no, she's as useless as any other main girl who disappears behind her love interest. She's about to be killed and natural selection is about to rule the playground, when Xavier saves her. Fuck. Why must the love interests save these TSTL heroines? Why? They're contaminating the gene pool! There isn't any room for competent heroines!
After a lame climax, Bethany and Xavier go back to being sickeningly sweethearts, and there's lame cliffhanger. The end.
I'm always interested and jealous when a teen gets something published. I'm nineteen, so I figure if they can get published, so can I. But I wonder if people judge teen's work based on age, and not merit. People seem to kick up a fuss whenever a teen or young person shows some talent. I'm glad that I didn't try to get my early works published. Maybe people would have praised me and be willing to cut me some slack because I was young, but my work sucked. I'm glad that I don't have it published. I wonder if Ardonetto will feel the same way.(less)
Francesca
I agree. Completely. But maybe you should add some whitespaces - it looks a bit chaotic like this.
Still awesome though. *thumbs up*
May 14, 2012 11:57pm
Still awesome though. *thumbs up*
May 14, 2012 11:57pm
Halo is a truly epic tale. Set in a dystopian world which has been ravaged by war, it follows two people: Bethany, an angel sent to riot-torn Los Angeles to save as many of the remaining citizens as she can and Xavier, a damaged boy she struggles to befriend and heal of his emotional wounds. As she works, another war is brewing - this one highly localized and poised to set the city ablaze yet again, ruining all of her efforts.
Oh, no, wait, that's not it. Let me try again... oh, I've got it!
Halo...more Halo is a truly epic tale. Set in a dystopian world which has been ravaged by war, it follows two people: Bethany, an angel sent to riot-torn Los Angeles to save as many of the remaining citizens as she can and Xavier, a damaged boy she struggles to befriend and heal of his emotional wounds. As she works, another war is brewing - this one highly localized and poised to set the city ablaze yet again, ruining all of her efforts.
Oh, no, wait, that's not it. Let me try again... oh, I've got it!
Halo is a truly epic tale. It's the story of Bethany, an angel sent to the most distressed areas of the world to destroy demons, and her sidekick Xavier, a young would-be priest who follows in her wake spreading the word of the Lord and doing good wherever he can. Together, they defeat evil time and time again.
No, wait, that's not it either. Hmm... but I bet this one is! Third time's the charm and all that.
Halo is the less-than-inspiring story of a trio of angels who are, for some bizarre reason, sent to a posh little town called Venus Cove. There they live the lives of the rich and self-righteous, doing little real good except some volunteering. The plot follows one of them, Bethany, on her meandering and melodramatic way into a romance with a human boy named Xavier. Eventually some real conflict shows up, several hundred pages too late to make the book any good, but that's okay; as the author makes clear several times when she gets up on her soapbox, this book wasn't written to have any sort of artistic merit! It's really just here to preach at you and take your money.
Yeah, that's the right one.
I thought, after I finished Hush, Hush, that I would never hate a book as much as I hated that. Well, my friends, I was wrong. Within the space of a few chapters, I hated Halo more than I have ever hated a story. Period. No exceptions.
This book is a disaster from start to finish, quite literally - from the poor grasp on perspective demonstrated on the very first page to the clumsy, imbecilic, tacked-on 'cliffhanger' on the very last.
To be honest, though, I feel sorry for Alexandra Adornetto. Clearly, the girl's got some problems. Her depiction of girls as obsessed with sex, boys, and material goods is horrifyingly shallow, which suggests to me that she's never really had any close female friends. The 'romance' that she writes has disturbing parent/child undertones, what with the way Xavier is always nagging Bethany about her safety and what she eats and this and that and the other thing. At one point he literally picks up her fork and flies food into her mouth like an indulgent parent. That's creepy. And I'm not really going to touch on the strange view she has of her own religion, or the way she twists it to condemn large swathes of modern society. Or the entitlement complex she demonstrates again and again throughout this book, seeming completely oblivious to poverty, disease, and real strife.
Also, if she ever grows up and becomes a decent writer, which I suppose is still possible at this point, this book will hang around her neck like a rock. You know those things you wrote when you were a few years younger and less mature, the ones that are cringe-worthy when you look back on them now? This will be hers, except it got published and now everyone can see it. How awful.
To be fair, this wreck is not just her fault. Her parents, who are supposedly English teachers, have failed her here: as she shows again and again she has no command over perspective, zero sense of proper pacing, complete ineptitude when it comes to characterization, and a sloppy style of writing. They've also neglected to teach her the cardinal rule of writing anything: do your goddamn research first.
No editor with real respect for their work and for fiction should have let this book be published in this state. Cheap hacks looking to make a buck off of Edward Cullen fangirls, yes. But a real editor should have at the very least forced this through many intense revisions until something which vaguely resembled a proper novel was extruded. Reading this book makes me wonder what editors are getting paid for these days.
But enough about the people behind the book. Let's talk about the book itself: specifically, its failings, of which there are many.
1. Portrayal of love
"It seemed from my reading of literature that being in love meant becoming the beloved's entire world. The rest of the universe paled into insignificance compared to the lovers. When they were separated, each fell into a melancholy state, and only when they were reunited did their hearts start beating again. Only when they were together could they really see the colors of the world. When they were apart, that color leached away, leaving everything a hazy gray."
I'm sorry - are you describing love or a drug addiction?
This is not love. This is obsession. And frankly, it's a scary thing to read about. What's scarier is that here it's being shown as an ideal - indeed, this exact phenomenon is highlighted in a relationship which is supposed to be so pure and awesome that it's sanctioned by Heaven. When Xavier doesn't talk to Bethany for a few days, she goes into awithdrawal depression so deep that she loses a drastic amount of weight and ends up looking haggard. In just a few days. OVER ONE GUY. Is she really so incomplete as a person that she can't be healthy without him? One must then ask what the message here is - that a woman not in a relationship is not a whole human being? Note that Xavier, of course, is barely affected by their split, because of course only females handle this so badly. I hereby direct you to Man Down: Proof Beyond a Reasonable Doubt That Women Are Better Cops, Drivers, Gamblers, Spies, World Leaders, Beer Tasters, Hedge Fund Managers, and Just About Everything Else in which there is an entire chapter describing studies which show that women actually deal with breakups better than men. Of course, one of the reasons is that women tend to have better support systems, which Bethany does not. But I'll probably bring up Bethie and her terrible communication skills later.
2. Ridiculously privileged protagonists
"In his physical form, Gabriel might as well have been a classical sculpture come to life. His body was perfectly proportioned and each muscle looked as if it had been sculpted out of the purest marble."
Marble muscles... gee, that's so original.
"In her physical form, Ivy looked like a Renaissance Madonna with her swanlike neck and pale oval face. Like Gabriel, she had piercing rain gray eyes."
The angels are flawless. No, really, it's said straight out several times - they have no flaws. They're gorgeous, talented, have access to all the knowledge of humankind and more, have magical wings which somehow manage to fold up and sit flat on their backs (despite the fact that wings proportionally sized to carry their body weight should probably stretch from over their shoulders to their lower calves even when furled), are infinitely full of energy (except when they aren't because the plot demands), heal easily (again, except when the plot demands), and for their mission on Earth they've been given a huge, beautiful, expensive house in a privileged small town, where one of them teaches at a private Christian school and another one attends it.
Fucking GAG ME.
There is zero effort made to render them as sympathetic characters, probably because that's not what they exist for. They're fantasy avatars, in a way. Bethany is not there to be empathized with, in the way you empathize with another person or a well-rounded character. She's there so that readers can live through her. Gabriel and Ivy have no real purpose in the story at all, except to act as authority figures (sometimes, if the plot demands; or to be lax if that's what's required) and to have some minor, rote parts in the 'climax'. And we'll talk about Xavier later.
3. The pathetic nature of the angels' 'heavenly mission'
"Molly lowered her voice. 'There's been robberies and freak accidents all over the place - there was a flu epidemic last year and six kids died from it.'
'That's devastating,' I said weakly, feeling a hollowness in the pit of my stomach. I was starting to get a sense of the extent of damage done by the Agents of Darkness, and it wasn't looking good."
Stephenie Fucking Meyer can render a better town in distress than Adornetto can, though that's not saying much. For all the lip service paid to the trying times Venus Cove is suffering through and the horrible things which have happened there, very little that's horrible above and beyond the ordinary actually happens. Newsflash: accidents happen. So do sicknesses. And it sucks, yeah, and it's horrible and tragic, of course, but it's not something that requires an angelic intervention! Multiple times, Adornetto mentions other regions of the world with greater troubles than Venus Cove, but she always brushes it off by saying that other angels are there - as if that meant it was okay for Bethany to be living the high life, slacking on her community service, and putting Xavier higher on her list of priorities than Heaven itself! No. Just no.
4. The obsession with and then glorification of prom
"'Are you for real?' Molly's eyes widened. 'It's a rite of passage, the one event you'll remember your whole life, apart from maybe your wedding. It's the whole shebang - limos, outfits, hot partners, dancing. It's our one night to act like princesses.'"
"However, with only two weeks left until the senior prom, all social service projects were temporarily abandoned. The mood of the girls at school was bordering on obsessive."
"She was imagining the start of the prom, when couples would make their entrance together and have their photos professionally taken. Turning up alone would be tantamount to social suicide."
"Some groups had arrived in limos and chauffeur-driven cars, while others had opted for the double-decker party bus, which now pulled in carrying its jubilant passengers."
"Tables were set up around the room, covered in white linen and set with fine china... At the back of the room, the band was tuning their instruments. Waiters bustled around us, carrying trays of nonalcoholic punch."
I'm willing to make allowances for the fact that not everyone's prom was like mine, but still - this is too much. I'm also willing to make allowances for the fact that Alexandra Adornetto is not American and therefore cannot be expected to have experienced an American prom. However, I supremely doubt that anyone's been to a prom like this. (If your evening did consist of live music, waiters, china table settings, limos, and the threat of social suicide if you arrived partnerless, please inform me. Until someone does, I'm going to stick to my guns.)
Neither have I know any dance to be so all-important that it was the focus of such intense obsession. Again, Adornetto imagines girls to be terribly shallow, which I as a girl find deeply insulting.
I've read just about enough of these types of things. Everyone thinks prom is the event of the year, not to be missed at all cost, where everything important happens, and that's just not true. Maybe someday I'll write a novel where the heroine goes to the dance not with her true love, but with a group of friends, and they rock out and have a great time anyway. It doesn't take a significant other to make a dance enjoyable, after all.
5. The soapboxing
"We thought of technology as a sort of corrupting influence, promoting antisocial behavior and detracting from family values. Our home was a place where we spent time with one another, not whiling away time shopping on the Internet or watching mindless television programs."
"'Well, I was interested in design for a while but that was, let's say, discouraged.'
'Why's that?'
'Isn't considered a serious career, is it? The idea of having invested all this money into my education only to have it end in unemployment doesn't thrill my parents.'
'What about what you want?'
'Sometimes parents know best.'
He seemed to accept the decisions made by his parents with good grace, happy to be guided by their expectations."
Listen up, Adornetto. That first quote alone makes me hate you, and also marks you as a hypocrite. I'm willing to bet you didn't type this pathetic excuse for a book on a typewriter, let alone handwriting it. No doubt you use e-mail. I'd be shocked if you never watched TV. And yet you still have this close-minded archaic offensive attitude towards something that yes, can be a great distraction, but more importantly can be one of the greatest tools at the modern person's disposal.
Though if you have an aversion to the internet, that would explain why you didn't do any research. BACK, BACK, FOUL DEMONS OF GOOGLE! TARNISH NOT HER UNSULLIED ENTITLEMENT! RAVAGE HER NOT WITH YOUR FEARFUL FACTS!
As for the second one, well, I'm just going to leave that there.
6. The sick, sick relationship between Bethany and Xavier
"I had been quiet for so long, absorbed in my fantasy of being stranded on a secluded island somewhere in the Carribean or held captive on a pirate ship, waiting for Xavier to come and rescue me, that it seemed they had temporarily forgotten I was there."
"...Molly was a realist and held the view that friendships had to take a backseat when relationships started - especially if the relationship was as intense as mine and Xavier's."
"I knew that if (the assignment) slipped my mind, Xavier would complete it for me and hand it in without my knowledge.
He became fiercely protective whenever anybody he didn't approve of came within a two-foot radius of me."
"'I'm serious. I hope you realize you can't lecture me about safety ever again,' I said.
'Babe, injuries are inevitable. It's all part of the game. You can play nurse afterward if you like.'"
"'I'm an idiot, I know,' Xavier cut in. 'Letting you go to the prom with Jake. I guess I had too much faith in you.'"
Bethany is a fucking celestial being. She acts like a two year-old. Her dependence on Xavier is so near-total that it is deeply disturbing - the above rescue fantasies and assignment-finishing are only the tip of the iceberg. And putting the relationship above friends? Letting Xavier chase off people "he didn't approve of"? Does that not sound a little bit like the symptoms of emotional abuse? Oh, it's not portrayed that way, but that's what it would look like to another character who was paying attention: Xavier controlling who Bethany gets to know, telling her to avoid some people without explanations, taking precedence over everyone else she knows. His double standards are annoying, too - he's allowed to be protective of Bethany, but she has no say about anything that happens to him and isn't justified in being worried when he's actually injured. (Also, he calls her 'babe'. I swear, if any man refers to me in that way he'll get a swift knee to the family jewels - it's unspeakably insulting.)
Oh, and there's the fact that apparently he 'let' her go to the prom with Jake. Like she didn't have the freedom to make that choice for herself. And then he has the gall to not let her explain the circumstances, treating her like she has nothing worthwhile to say to him even though she's the only one who knows what happened. Bethany, of course, instead of getting angry at her asshat boyfriend, goes home and gets all mopy. (See above.)
This whole situation is just... wrong.
Three more quotes, just because:
"I had to admit that it was fairly stylish as far as uniforms went. The dress was a flattering pale blue with a pleated front and a white Peter Pan collar. With it we were required to wear knee-high cotton socks, brown buckle-up shoes, and a navy blazer with the school crest emblazoned in gold on the breast pocket. Ivy had bought me pale blue and white ribbons, which she now weaved deftly into my braids."
"I'd listened in on the prayers of teenage girls and most of them centered on being accepted by the 'popular' crowd and finding a boyfriend who played on the rugby team."
"'Meaning that the human and the divine were never meant to merge. If it happened, I believe the angel would lose his or her divinity. There could be no redemption after such a transgression.'
'And the human?'
'The human would never be able to return to normal existence.'
'Why?' I asked.
'Because the experience would surpass all human experiences,' Ivy explained."
(Angel sex, guys. It'll blow your mind and then ruin your life. Just one more thing they're perfect at.)
I could never in good conscience recommend this book to anyone, but if you're looking for snark bait, this is a doozy. Also, if you're an aspiring writer who wants to learn how not to do it, this could be useful. But ye gods, if you're genuinely searching for a good read, stay as far away as possible.(less)
Oh, no, wait, that's not it. Let me try again... oh, I've got it!
Halo...more Halo is a truly epic tale. Set in a dystopian world which has been ravaged by war, it follows two people: Bethany, an angel sent to riot-torn Los Angeles to save as many of the remaining citizens as she can and Xavier, a damaged boy she struggles to befriend and heal of his emotional wounds. As she works, another war is brewing - this one highly localized and poised to set the city ablaze yet again, ruining all of her efforts.
Oh, no, wait, that's not it. Let me try again... oh, I've got it!
Halo is a truly epic tale. It's the story of Bethany, an angel sent to the most distressed areas of the world to destroy demons, and her sidekick Xavier, a young would-be priest who follows in her wake spreading the word of the Lord and doing good wherever he can. Together, they defeat evil time and time again.
No, wait, that's not it either. Hmm... but I bet this one is! Third time's the charm and all that.
Halo is the less-than-inspiring story of a trio of angels who are, for some bizarre reason, sent to a posh little town called Venus Cove. There they live the lives of the rich and self-righteous, doing little real good except some volunteering. The plot follows one of them, Bethany, on her meandering and melodramatic way into a romance with a human boy named Xavier. Eventually some real conflict shows up, several hundred pages too late to make the book any good, but that's okay; as the author makes clear several times when she gets up on her soapbox, this book wasn't written to have any sort of artistic merit! It's really just here to preach at you and take your money.
Yeah, that's the right one.
I thought, after I finished Hush, Hush, that I would never hate a book as much as I hated that. Well, my friends, I was wrong. Within the space of a few chapters, I hated Halo more than I have ever hated a story. Period. No exceptions.
This book is a disaster from start to finish, quite literally - from the poor grasp on perspective demonstrated on the very first page to the clumsy, imbecilic, tacked-on 'cliffhanger' on the very last.
To be honest, though, I feel sorry for Alexandra Adornetto. Clearly, the girl's got some problems. Her depiction of girls as obsessed with sex, boys, and material goods is horrifyingly shallow, which suggests to me that she's never really had any close female friends. The 'romance' that she writes has disturbing parent/child undertones, what with the way Xavier is always nagging Bethany about her safety and what she eats and this and that and the other thing. At one point he literally picks up her fork and flies food into her mouth like an indulgent parent. That's creepy. And I'm not really going to touch on the strange view she has of her own religion, or the way she twists it to condemn large swathes of modern society. Or the entitlement complex she demonstrates again and again throughout this book, seeming completely oblivious to poverty, disease, and real strife.
Also, if she ever grows up and becomes a decent writer, which I suppose is still possible at this point, this book will hang around her neck like a rock. You know those things you wrote when you were a few years younger and less mature, the ones that are cringe-worthy when you look back on them now? This will be hers, except it got published and now everyone can see it. How awful.
To be fair, this wreck is not just her fault. Her parents, who are supposedly English teachers, have failed her here: as she shows again and again she has no command over perspective, zero sense of proper pacing, complete ineptitude when it comes to characterization, and a sloppy style of writing. They've also neglected to teach her the cardinal rule of writing anything: do your goddamn research first.
No editor with real respect for their work and for fiction should have let this book be published in this state. Cheap hacks looking to make a buck off of Edward Cullen fangirls, yes. But a real editor should have at the very least forced this through many intense revisions until something which vaguely resembled a proper novel was extruded. Reading this book makes me wonder what editors are getting paid for these days.
But enough about the people behind the book. Let's talk about the book itself: specifically, its failings, of which there are many.
1. Portrayal of love
"It seemed from my reading of literature that being in love meant becoming the beloved's entire world. The rest of the universe paled into insignificance compared to the lovers. When they were separated, each fell into a melancholy state, and only when they were reunited did their hearts start beating again. Only when they were together could they really see the colors of the world. When they were apart, that color leached away, leaving everything a hazy gray."
I'm sorry - are you describing love or a drug addiction?
This is not love. This is obsession. And frankly, it's a scary thing to read about. What's scarier is that here it's being shown as an ideal - indeed, this exact phenomenon is highlighted in a relationship which is supposed to be so pure and awesome that it's sanctioned by Heaven. When Xavier doesn't talk to Bethany for a few days, she goes into a
2. Ridiculously privileged protagonists
"In his physical form, Gabriel might as well have been a classical sculpture come to life. His body was perfectly proportioned and each muscle looked as if it had been sculpted out of the purest marble."
"In her physical form, Ivy looked like a Renaissance Madonna with her swanlike neck and pale oval face. Like Gabriel, she had piercing rain gray eyes."
The angels are flawless. No, really, it's said straight out several times - they have no flaws. They're gorgeous, talented, have access to all the knowledge of humankind and more, have magical wings which somehow manage to fold up and sit flat on their backs (despite the fact that wings proportionally sized to carry their body weight should probably stretch from over their shoulders to their lower calves even when furled), are infinitely full of energy (except when they aren't because the plot demands), heal easily (again, except when the plot demands), and for their mission on Earth they've been given a huge, beautiful, expensive house in a privileged small town, where one of them teaches at a private Christian school and another one attends it.
Fucking GAG ME.
There is zero effort made to render them as sympathetic characters, probably because that's not what they exist for. They're fantasy avatars, in a way. Bethany is not there to be empathized with, in the way you empathize with another person or a well-rounded character. She's there so that readers can live through her. Gabriel and Ivy have no real purpose in the story at all, except to act as authority figures (sometimes, if the plot demands; or to be lax if that's what's required) and to have some minor, rote parts in the 'climax'. And we'll talk about Xavier later.
3. The pathetic nature of the angels' 'heavenly mission'
"Molly lowered her voice. 'There's been robberies and freak accidents all over the place - there was a flu epidemic last year and six kids died from it.'
'That's devastating,' I said weakly, feeling a hollowness in the pit of my stomach. I was starting to get a sense of the extent of damage done by the Agents of Darkness, and it wasn't looking good."
Stephenie Fucking Meyer can render a better town in distress than Adornetto can, though that's not saying much. For all the lip service paid to the trying times Venus Cove is suffering through and the horrible things which have happened there, very little that's horrible above and beyond the ordinary actually happens. Newsflash: accidents happen. So do sicknesses. And it sucks, yeah, and it's horrible and tragic, of course, but it's not something that requires an angelic intervention! Multiple times, Adornetto mentions other regions of the world with greater troubles than Venus Cove, but she always brushes it off by saying that other angels are there - as if that meant it was okay for Bethany to be living the high life, slacking on her community service, and putting Xavier higher on her list of priorities than Heaven itself! No. Just no.
4. The obsession with and then glorification of prom
"'Are you for real?' Molly's eyes widened. 'It's a rite of passage, the one event you'll remember your whole life, apart from maybe your wedding. It's the whole shebang - limos, outfits, hot partners, dancing. It's our one night to act like princesses.'"
"However, with only two weeks left until the senior prom, all social service projects were temporarily abandoned. The mood of the girls at school was bordering on obsessive."
"She was imagining the start of the prom, when couples would make their entrance together and have their photos professionally taken. Turning up alone would be tantamount to social suicide."
"Some groups had arrived in limos and chauffeur-driven cars, while others had opted for the double-decker party bus, which now pulled in carrying its jubilant passengers."
"Tables were set up around the room, covered in white linen and set with fine china... At the back of the room, the band was tuning their instruments. Waiters bustled around us, carrying trays of nonalcoholic punch."
I'm willing to make allowances for the fact that not everyone's prom was like mine, but still - this is too much. I'm also willing to make allowances for the fact that Alexandra Adornetto is not American and therefore cannot be expected to have experienced an American prom. However, I supremely doubt that anyone's been to a prom like this. (If your evening did consist of live music, waiters, china table settings, limos, and the threat of social suicide if you arrived partnerless, please inform me. Until someone does, I'm going to stick to my guns.)
Neither have I know any dance to be so all-important that it was the focus of such intense obsession. Again, Adornetto imagines girls to be terribly shallow, which I as a girl find deeply insulting.
I've read just about enough of these types of things. Everyone thinks prom is the event of the year, not to be missed at all cost, where everything important happens, and that's just not true. Maybe someday I'll write a novel where the heroine goes to the dance not with her true love, but with a group of friends, and they rock out and have a great time anyway. It doesn't take a significant other to make a dance enjoyable, after all.
5. The soapboxing
"We thought of technology as a sort of corrupting influence, promoting antisocial behavior and detracting from family values. Our home was a place where we spent time with one another, not whiling away time shopping on the Internet or watching mindless television programs."
"'Well, I was interested in design for a while but that was, let's say, discouraged.'
'Why's that?'
'Isn't considered a serious career, is it? The idea of having invested all this money into my education only to have it end in unemployment doesn't thrill my parents.'
'What about what you want?'
'Sometimes parents know best.'
He seemed to accept the decisions made by his parents with good grace, happy to be guided by their expectations."
Listen up, Adornetto. That first quote alone makes me hate you, and also marks you as a hypocrite. I'm willing to bet you didn't type this pathetic excuse for a book on a typewriter, let alone handwriting it. No doubt you use e-mail. I'd be shocked if you never watched TV. And yet you still have this close-minded archaic offensive attitude towards something that yes, can be a great distraction, but more importantly can be one of the greatest tools at the modern person's disposal.
Though if you have an aversion to the internet, that would explain why you didn't do any research. BACK, BACK, FOUL DEMONS OF GOOGLE! TARNISH NOT HER UNSULLIED ENTITLEMENT! RAVAGE HER NOT WITH YOUR FEARFUL FACTS!
As for the second one, well, I'm just going to leave that there.
6. The sick, sick relationship between Bethany and Xavier
"I had been quiet for so long, absorbed in my fantasy of being stranded on a secluded island somewhere in the Carribean or held captive on a pirate ship, waiting for Xavier to come and rescue me, that it seemed they had temporarily forgotten I was there."
"...Molly was a realist and held the view that friendships had to take a backseat when relationships started - especially if the relationship was as intense as mine and Xavier's."
"I knew that if (the assignment) slipped my mind, Xavier would complete it for me and hand it in without my knowledge.
He became fiercely protective whenever anybody he didn't approve of came within a two-foot radius of me."
"'I'm serious. I hope you realize you can't lecture me about safety ever again,' I said.
'Babe, injuries are inevitable. It's all part of the game. You can play nurse afterward if you like.'"
"'I'm an idiot, I know,' Xavier cut in. 'Letting you go to the prom with Jake. I guess I had too much faith in you.'"
Bethany is a fucking celestial being. She acts like a two year-old. Her dependence on Xavier is so near-total that it is deeply disturbing - the above rescue fantasies and assignment-finishing are only the tip of the iceberg. And putting the relationship above friends? Letting Xavier chase off people "he didn't approve of"? Does that not sound a little bit like the symptoms of emotional abuse? Oh, it's not portrayed that way, but that's what it would look like to another character who was paying attention: Xavier controlling who Bethany gets to know, telling her to avoid some people without explanations, taking precedence over everyone else she knows. His double standards are annoying, too - he's allowed to be protective of Bethany, but she has no say about anything that happens to him and isn't justified in being worried when he's actually injured. (Also, he calls her 'babe'. I swear, if any man refers to me in that way he'll get a swift knee to the family jewels - it's unspeakably insulting.)
Oh, and there's the fact that apparently he 'let' her go to the prom with Jake. Like she didn't have the freedom to make that choice for herself. And then he has the gall to not let her explain the circumstances, treating her like she has nothing worthwhile to say to him even though she's the only one who knows what happened. Bethany, of course, instead of getting angry at her asshat boyfriend, goes home and gets all mopy. (See above.)
This whole situation is just... wrong.
Three more quotes, just because:
"I had to admit that it was fairly stylish as far as uniforms went. The dress was a flattering pale blue with a pleated front and a white Peter Pan collar. With it we were required to wear knee-high cotton socks, brown buckle-up shoes, and a navy blazer with the school crest emblazoned in gold on the breast pocket. Ivy had bought me pale blue and white ribbons, which she now weaved deftly into my braids."
"I'd listened in on the prayers of teenage girls and most of them centered on being accepted by the 'popular' crowd and finding a boyfriend who played on the rugby team."
"'Meaning that the human and the divine were never meant to merge. If it happened, I believe the angel would lose his or her divinity. There could be no redemption after such a transgression.'
'And the human?'
'The human would never be able to return to normal existence.'
'Why?' I asked.
'Because the experience would surpass all human experiences,' Ivy explained."
I could never in good conscience recommend this book to anyone, but if you're looking for snark bait, this is a doozy. Also, if you're an aspiring writer who wants to learn how not to do it, this could be useful. But ye gods, if you're genuinely searching for a good read, stay as far away as possible.(less)
Dec 11, 2011
Kaia
rated it
1 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
Anyone who puts no value on their sanity and brain cells
Recommended to Kaia by:
*sharpens knives*
Shelves:
dull-love-interest,
not-enough-poptarts-for-this,
research-project-from-hell,
what-is-this-i-dont-even,
what-the-actual-f-ck,
actually-made-me-angry,
dnf,
heroines-without-spines,
jellology,
kill-it-with-fire,
never-again,
offensive,
skeevy-guys,
too-much-drama-llama,
wall-bangers,
worse-than-hush-hush,
worse-than-twilight,
you-fail-research-forever,
you-fail-bad-boys-forever
Disclaimer: There are no SPOILERS in this review, because you can't spoil a book in which nothing actually happens. However, in the interest of forestalling any screeching and whining on the matter, consider this your SPOILER warning. Screech and whine at your own peril. I am cranky, and I bite.
There are bad books. There are awful books. There are books you want to hurl across the room or light on fire. There are books that make you want to cry and scream, claw your own eyes out, and/or stab som...more Disclaimer: There are no SPOILERS in this review, because you can't spoil a book in which nothing actually happens. However, in the interest of forestalling any screeching and whining on the matter, consider this your SPOILER warning. Screech and whine at your own peril. I am cranky, and I bite.
There are bad books. There are awful books. There are books you want to hurl across the room or light on fire. There are books that make you want to cry and scream, claw your own eyes out, and/or stab someone to a brutal and bloody death.
And then there's Halo.
Some people might go easy on Halo because of Alexandra Adornetto's tender young age. I am not one of those people. Adornetto is not that young, and anyway sentiments like "oh, she's just a teenager" are insulting to teenagers who act and think like real people and not one-dimensional little monsters. And she's not the only person responsible for this heinous travesty of a book being sold on bookshelves around the world.
No book has made me consider self-publishing quite as seriously as Halo. Not because I think I can't get published, but because this book drained most of what was left of my trust for the publishing industry. It's as if the industry as a whole inflicted paper cuts all over my body and then poured a concoction of lemon juice and salt over my head. (This, incidentally, is kind of what it feels like to read Halo.) I have defended the industry for years, and then they turn around and stab me in the back with this overstuffed, poorly written piece of tripe. It seems whatever integrity was left in the industry is gone. Next time I see an agent or editor insist they only want books they love, I'm going to be much less inclined to believe it. No one loved Halo. It was not hearts that lit in the eyes of whatever editor decided to give this trash a chance to see daylight; it was dollar signs. And it seems that no one actually did any editing on the damn thing once it was bought. I could hand my manuscripts over to my bunnies for editing and come out with better results.
First of all, nothing happens in Halo. A dumb as shit angel flouncing around brushing her teeth, walking her dog, going to French class, and falling in love with a boy she doesn't even know DOES NOT CONSTITUTE A PLOT. I read more than half the book and in that time, there was no conflict. Bethany and her siblings are sent to earth to fight the "Agents of Darkness", and then we wait around for over two hundred pages for one to even show up. Shouldn't combating the "Agents of Darkness" involve, you know, combat? The relationship between Bethany and Xavier presents no real conflict or challenge either: after Bethany reveals herself to Xavier, basically betraying her mission and all the rest of humankind, a "higher power" okays the situation. That's it. She receives no punishment, does no penance, and it's implied that her relationship with Xavier is sanctioned by God. Otherwise she dithers about clipping her toenails and thinking she's better than everyone else because she's not obsessed with prom (yet) and boys and technology.
Speaking of that relationship, though...that's not a relationship. I'm tired of this Twilight-inspired insta-love soul mate crap.I wrote a dystopian novel inspired by how fucking sick of this shit I am, so that should tell you something. Bethany and Xavier have small talk like three times before they're in twoo wuv foreva. Then, instead of showing us their relationship blossoming and growing stronger, Adornetto recaps montage style all the things they do together and how very much this miss each other, OMG all the time, whilst we, the readers, suffer through page after page after page of all the banal, menial details of Bethany's life. If you're going to make your book all about the romance, at least show us the goddamned (no pun intended, I swear) romance! Though to be frank, I wouldn't want to witness much of this "romance". It's an unhealthy co-dependent relationship, in which Xavier treats Bethany like a child (the airplane thing? it happens) and Bethany folds to being "protected" and bossed around by him as if that's just the way things are supposed to be.
This after Xavier forces her to eat an energy bar despite her insisting that she's not hungry. After he gets her to do his bidding, he literally fucking pats her on the head. (Girls, if your boyfriend ever pats you on the head like you're an obedient puppy, kick him in the nuts and then dump his ass. Seriously. You are a person, not a pet.)
Because, let's face it, Alexandra Adornetto wouldn't know feminism if it jumped up andsmacked her on the tits bit her on the ass. I nearly went through the roof on more than one occasion. Adornetto adores playing into nasty sexist stereotypes. Bethany herself spends time literally thinking about how much she can't wait to get back to Xavier's strong, protective arms and daydreaming about being rescued by him.
Girls (except for Bethany, of course, because she's speshul) talk about boys, boys, and boys--and did I mention boys? Boys, of course, only do things that are considered appropriately manly:
Both Bethany and her sister Ivy end up in situations where boys basically sexually harass them. They stand around whimpering like wounded Chihuahuas until Xavier arrives to rescue them--both of them. Because girls can't protect themselves, amirite? Adornetto, dear, THESE ARE FUCKING ANGELS. THEY HAVE DIVINE POWERS. Are you for fucking real?
Then there's the entire Romeo and Juliet thing. Ugh, I want to barf. Not only do we get the world's worst literature teacher, who is a "romantic" and believes the romance angle of Romeo and Juliet (which in a sane reality does not exist), but then we get this argument about what the book is really about, with the "studious" girls pointing out that it's a story about two dumb lust-filled teenagers and Bethany insisting it was true love. Romeo forgot about Rosalind in five nanoseconds not because he was a horny teenage boy, but because Juliet was The One. His Soul Mate. *barf* Yeah, The One is a concept that was made up to make arranged marriages seem less skeevy and wrong; it is not a real thing.
But what am I saying? Those studious girls wouldn't know real love if they tripped over it, right? I mean, see how they react to the idea of having to write a love poem:
Yeah. Adornetto loves stereotyping that much and this was one of the most angry-making examples. It's a lot of misogynist bullshit, the idea that girls who study and work hard and care about their educations are just boring losers. And they are all the same, mind you. Seriously, Adornetto even writes them speaking in unison because they are just soooo cut from the same cloth. This is a real thing that happens in the book:
Got that? If you consider your education important, you are just an imaginationless loser, so stfu. And you're an even bigger loser if you find qualities like smart and successful to be desirable in a man. UGH! It's all such anti-feminist nonsense, right down to the teacher refusing to remonstrate Tyler's dumb ass because, you know, women are polite and demure and shit. Fuck that. I'm a woman, and demure I ain't. (My sailor friend once told me I could make a sailor blush. For reals.) And because this whole conversation was not stupid and painful and ridiculous enough, we get bonus stereotyping with a "goth" girl talking about people being "dark and disturbed" and a jock guy being a sexist douchebag. Really fucking nice. This is the kind of shit that should never, ever, EVER make it into a published book.
It's the kind of sexism that plays into rape culture in a very dangerous way. It insists on the fallacy that boys are x and girls are y. Like, you know, boys are aggressive and girls are timid. Boys are horny and girls are boy-obsessed. If a girl gets raped, hey, she should've known better, boys just act that way! Duh! Clearly she shouldn't have been running around thinking about boys all the time and wearing makeup and pretty clothes, because boys are Cro-Magnon morons who can't control themselves. Ick, ick, ICK. It makes me feel all warm and face-stabby inside.
And in its own way, the book preaches just that sort of nonsense, like the scene where Bethany goes to Molly's for a girls' night and finds a full blown party. She gets drunk and has to be rescued by Xavier, of course. And later she thinks "who knows what could have happened" if Xavier hadn't arrived, and you don't need to be a rocket scientist to put together the pieces.
Adornetto loves preaching, not just about how wearing short skirts and makeup is shallow and bad. Technology is bad (is in fact basically causing the breakdown of the human race), and so is eating meat. And being a goth will inevitably make you evil, as evidenced by the "goths" jumping ship to Jake Thorn the moment he looks at them with his stereotypical "evil" green eyes and his stereotypical "evil" long black hair (the dude even has a fucking snake tattoo). Being impulsive will apparently mean you literally die in a fire, since instead of talking about what he loved about his ex-girlfriend, the only thing Xavier mentions about her is how she was impulsive and this was bad, mmkay. It's also bad to follow your dreams if it means not listening to your parents. And even though there was no direct preaching against being gay, the book is so gag-inducingly heteronormative that that brand of preaching is implied with practically every page. I swear, if she ever comes to town for a book signing, I will go and Glitter Bomb her. And I will make sure my husband video tapes it.
Fuck, the whole book is so stupid, I can't put it into words. It's a bloody turducken of stupid. There are inconsistencies everywhere, like Bethany saying she got her dog "weeks" ago when it had only been a week. Why send three angels to combat the forces of darkness in a tiny podunk town whose worst issues are a particularly virulent flu? There are bombings in the middle east, and Bethany is sitting around picking her nose in some place called Venus Cove. (Do NOT get me started on her implications that the middle east is inherently more evil than anywhere else in the world. Just don't.) They're supposed to bring faith back to humans, but they can't even be friends with them. And if something bad is happening elsewhere in the world, this is their solution:
You are divine intervention, you fucking morons. You're angels! Sinfully dumb angels, but angels nonetheless. If this is the best God can do, the world at large should probably put its head between its knees and kiss its ass goodbye.
Finally, we have the writing, which is...it's...I mean...oh fuck, are there words for this? Everything is overwritten. Now, I like a decent amount of description. Unlike many readers, I read to relax my imagination. It seriously just keeps goinggoinggoinggoinggoinggoinggoinggoing like it's the goddamn Energizer Bunny and books can distract it. (Not always. If you ever see me reading a book and notice I haven't turned a page for forty-five minutes, well, now you know why.) Also, left to its own devices, it may well turn your world into some kind of cold-pizza-and-LSD-fueled nightmare. But holy fuck, Adornetto overdoes it like whoa. You might wonder how a book in which nothing happens can being almost five-hundred pages long; it's because it's completely stuffed with banal details and description of everything. Just on and on and on and on. SHUT UP ALREADY! Just sitting here thinking about how many times in half the book I had to read about what who was wearing, what Gabriel's eye-color was, how nice Ivy is, how beautiful all the angels are, how much Bethany loves/missed Xavier, what this looked like, what that looked like, how Xavier's STUPID FUCKING BANGS FLOP IN HIS EYES, gives me a headache and a lot of boiling rage.
This book is an insult. It's an insult to writers, it's an insult to readers, to teenagers, to women, to men, to gays, to straight people, to the entire planet. I can't even talk about this anymore; my head hurts every time I think about this mess. So I will leave it at that. Except for one thing. With all the mention of Xavier's bangs flopping in his eyes, he started to look like this:

Now that you will never be able to unsee that, I will be about my merry way.(less)
There are bad books. There are awful books. There are books you want to hurl across the room or light on fire. There are books that make you want to cry and scream, claw your own eyes out, and/or stab som...more Disclaimer: There are no SPOILERS in this review, because you can't spoil a book in which nothing actually happens. However, in the interest of forestalling any screeching and whining on the matter, consider this your SPOILER warning. Screech and whine at your own peril. I am cranky, and I bite.
There are bad books. There are awful books. There are books you want to hurl across the room or light on fire. There are books that make you want to cry and scream, claw your own eyes out, and/or stab someone to a brutal and bloody death.
And then there's Halo.
Some people might go easy on Halo because of Alexandra Adornetto's tender young age. I am not one of those people. Adornetto is not that young, and anyway sentiments like "oh, she's just a teenager" are insulting to teenagers who act and think like real people and not one-dimensional little monsters. And she's not the only person responsible for this heinous travesty of a book being sold on bookshelves around the world.
No book has made me consider self-publishing quite as seriously as Halo. Not because I think I can't get published, but because this book drained most of what was left of my trust for the publishing industry. It's as if the industry as a whole inflicted paper cuts all over my body and then poured a concoction of lemon juice and salt over my head. (This, incidentally, is kind of what it feels like to read Halo.) I have defended the industry for years, and then they turn around and stab me in the back with this overstuffed, poorly written piece of tripe. It seems whatever integrity was left in the industry is gone. Next time I see an agent or editor insist they only want books they love, I'm going to be much less inclined to believe it. No one loved Halo. It was not hearts that lit in the eyes of whatever editor decided to give this trash a chance to see daylight; it was dollar signs. And it seems that no one actually did any editing on the damn thing once it was bought. I could hand my manuscripts over to my bunnies for editing and come out with better results.
First of all, nothing happens in Halo. A dumb as shit angel flouncing around brushing her teeth, walking her dog, going to French class, and falling in love with a boy she doesn't even know DOES NOT CONSTITUTE A PLOT. I read more than half the book and in that time, there was no conflict. Bethany and her siblings are sent to earth to fight the "Agents of Darkness", and then we wait around for over two hundred pages for one to even show up. Shouldn't combating the "Agents of Darkness" involve, you know, combat? The relationship between Bethany and Xavier presents no real conflict or challenge either: after Bethany reveals herself to Xavier, basically betraying her mission and all the rest of humankind, a "higher power" okays the situation. That's it. She receives no punishment, does no penance, and it's implied that her relationship with Xavier is sanctioned by God. Otherwise she dithers about clipping her toenails and thinking she's better than everyone else because she's not obsessed with prom (yet) and boys and technology.
Speaking of that relationship, though...that's not a relationship. I'm tired of this Twilight-inspired insta-love soul mate crap.
Sometimes it was easier not to argue with Xavier when his objective was taking care of me.
This after Xavier forces her to eat an energy bar despite her insisting that she's not hungry. After he gets her to do his bidding, he literally fucking pats her on the head. (Girls, if your boyfriend ever pats you on the head like you're an obedient puppy, kick him in the nuts and then dump his ass. Seriously. You are a person, not a pet.)
Because, let's face it, Alexandra Adornetto wouldn't know feminism if it jumped up and
I liked the way he held me; as if I were fragile and likely to break if he held too tight.
"...absorbed in my fantasy of being stranded on a secluded island somewhere in the Caribbean or held captive on a pirate ship, waiting for Xavier to come and rescue me...
Girls (except for Bethany, of course, because she's speshul) talk about boys, boys, and boys--and did I mention boys? Boys, of course, only do things that are considered appropriately manly:
“Because I’m a man,” Xavier said. “And men don’t wear makeup unless they’re emo or play in a boy band.”
“I’m a boy. We like engines.”
Both Bethany and her sister Ivy end up in situations where boys basically sexually harass them. They stand around whimpering like wounded Chihuahuas until Xavier arrives to rescue them--both of them. Because girls can't protect themselves, amirite? Adornetto, dear, THESE ARE FUCKING ANGELS. THEY HAVE DIVINE POWERS. Are you for fucking real?
Then there's the entire Romeo and Juliet thing. Ugh, I want to barf. Not only do we get the world's worst literature teacher, who is a "romantic" and believes the romance angle of Romeo and Juliet (which in a sane reality does not exist), but then we get this argument about what the book is really about, with the "studious" girls pointing out that it's a story about two dumb lust-filled teenagers and Bethany insisting it was true love. Romeo forgot about Rosalind in five nanoseconds not because he was a horny teenage boy, but because Juliet was The One. His Soul Mate. *barf* Yeah, The One is a concept that was made up to make arranged marriages seem less skeevy and wrong; it is not a real thing.
But what am I saying? Those studious girls wouldn't know real love if they tripped over it, right? I mean, see how they react to the idea of having to write a love poem:
The studious girls, who’d never had to rely on their own imaginations before, flew into a panic.
Yeah. Adornetto loves stereotyping that much and this was one of the most angry-making examples. It's a lot of misogynist bullshit, the idea that girls who study and work hard and care about their educations are just boring losers. And they are all the same, mind you. Seriously, Adornetto even writes them speaking in unison because they are just soooo cut from the same cloth. This is a real thing that happens in the book:
“We don’t know what to write about!” they wailed. “It’s too hard.”
“Just think about it for a while,” said Miss Castle in her floaty voice.
“Nothing interesting happens to us.”
“It doesn’t have to be personal,” she coaxed. “It can be a total figment of your imagination.”
The girls remained uninspired.
“Can you give us an example?” they persisted.
“We’ve been looking at examples all term,” said Miss Castle in a dejected tone. Then an idea
for a starting point came to her. “Think about qualities you find attractive in a boy.”
“Well, I think intelligence is very important,” a girl named Bianca volunteered.
“Obviously, he should be a good provider,” her friend Hannah piped up.
Miss Castle looked at a loss. She was spared having to comment by a contribution from a
different quarter.
“People are only interesting if they’re dark and disturbed,” said Alicia, one of the goths.
“Chicks shouldn’t talk so much,” drawled Tyler from the back of the room. It was the first
thing we’d heard him say all term, and Miss Castle was graciously prepared to overlook its
derogatory nature.
Got that? If you consider your education important, you are just an imaginationless loser, so stfu. And you're an even bigger loser if you find qualities like smart and successful to be desirable in a man. UGH! It's all such anti-feminist nonsense, right down to the teacher refusing to remonstrate Tyler's dumb ass because, you know, women are polite and demure and shit. Fuck that. I'm a woman, and demure I ain't. (My sailor friend once told me I could make a sailor blush. For reals.) And because this whole conversation was not stupid and painful and ridiculous enough, we get bonus stereotyping with a "goth" girl talking about people being "dark and disturbed" and a jock guy being a sexist douchebag. Really fucking nice. This is the kind of shit that should never, ever, EVER make it into a published book.
It's the kind of sexism that plays into rape culture in a very dangerous way. It insists on the fallacy that boys are x and girls are y. Like, you know, boys are aggressive and girls are timid. Boys are horny and girls are boy-obsessed. If a girl gets raped, hey, she should've known better, boys just act that way! Duh! Clearly she shouldn't have been running around thinking about boys all the time and wearing makeup and pretty clothes, because boys are Cro-Magnon morons who can't control themselves. Ick, ick, ICK. It makes me feel all warm and face-stabby inside.
And in its own way, the book preaches just that sort of nonsense, like the scene where Bethany goes to Molly's for a girls' night and finds a full blown party. She gets drunk and has to be rescued by Xavier, of course. And later she thinks "who knows what could have happened" if Xavier hadn't arrived, and you don't need to be a rocket scientist to put together the pieces.
Adornetto loves preaching, not just about how wearing short skirts and makeup is shallow and bad. Technology is bad (is in fact basically causing the breakdown of the human race), and so is eating meat. And being a goth will inevitably make you evil, as evidenced by the "goths" jumping ship to Jake Thorn the moment he looks at them with his stereotypical "evil" green eyes and his stereotypical "evil" long black hair (the dude even has a fucking snake tattoo). Being impulsive will apparently mean you literally die in a fire, since instead of talking about what he loved about his ex-girlfriend, the only thing Xavier mentions about her is how she was impulsive and this was bad, mmkay. It's also bad to follow your dreams if it means not listening to your parents. And even though there was no direct preaching against being gay, the book is so gag-inducingly heteronormative that that brand of preaching is implied with practically every page. I swear, if she ever comes to town for a book signing, I will go and Glitter Bomb her. And I will make sure my husband video tapes it.
Fuck, the whole book is so stupid, I can't put it into words. It's a bloody turducken of stupid. There are inconsistencies everywhere, like Bethany saying she got her dog "weeks" ago when it had only been a week. Why send three angels to combat the forces of darkness in a tiny podunk town whose worst issues are a particularly virulent flu? There are bombings in the middle east, and Bethany is sitting around picking her nose in some place called Venus Cove. (Do NOT get me started on her implications that the middle east is inherently more evil than anywhere else in the world. Just don't.) They're supposed to bring faith back to humans, but they can't even be friends with them. And if something bad is happening elsewhere in the world, this is their solution:
“All we can do is pray for divine intervention.”
You are divine intervention, you fucking morons. You're angels! Sinfully dumb angels, but angels nonetheless. If this is the best God can do, the world at large should probably put its head between its knees and kiss its ass goodbye.
Finally, we have the writing, which is...it's...I mean...oh fuck, are there words for this? Everything is overwritten. Now, I like a decent amount of description. Unlike many readers, I read to relax my imagination. It seriously just keeps goinggoinggoinggoinggoinggoinggoinggoing like it's the goddamn Energizer Bunny and books can distract it. (Not always. If you ever see me reading a book and notice I haven't turned a page for forty-five minutes, well, now you know why.) Also, left to its own devices, it may well turn your world into some kind of cold-pizza-and-LSD-fueled nightmare. But holy fuck, Adornetto overdoes it like whoa. You might wonder how a book in which nothing happens can being almost five-hundred pages long; it's because it's completely stuffed with banal details and description of everything. Just on and on and on and on. SHUT UP ALREADY! Just sitting here thinking about how many times in half the book I had to read about what who was wearing, what Gabriel's eye-color was, how nice Ivy is, how beautiful all the angels are, how much Bethany loves/missed Xavier, what this looked like, what that looked like, how Xavier's STUPID FUCKING BANGS FLOP IN HIS EYES, gives me a headache and a lot of boiling rage.
This book is an insult. It's an insult to writers, it's an insult to readers, to teenagers, to women, to men, to gays, to straight people, to the entire planet. I can't even talk about this anymore; my head hurts every time I think about this mess. So I will leave it at that. Except for one thing. With all the mention of Xavier's bangs flopping in his eyes, he started to look like this:

Now that you will never be able to unsee that, I will be about my merry way.(less)
John
Fan-freaking-tastic!! This review is simply amazing!! Wise choice not reading Hades....it just gets worse
May 31, 2012 01:44pm
May 31, 2012 01:44pm
Christina Wilder
This is a real thing that happens in the book:
“Think about qualities you find attractive in a boy.”
“Well, I think intelligence is very important,” a g...more This is a real thing that happens in the book:
“Think about qualities you find attractive in a boy.”
“Well, I think intelligence is very important,” a girl named Bianca volunteered.
“Obviously, he should be a good provider,” her friend Hannah piped up.
Miss Castle looked at a loss. She was spared having to comment by a contribution from a
different quarter.
“People are only interesting if they’re dark and disturbed,” said Alicia, one of the goths.
“Chicks shouldn’t talk so much,” drawled Tyler from the back of the room. It was the first
thing we’d heard him say all term, and Miss Castle was graciously prepared to overlook its
derogatory nature.
:( This got past an editor?(less)
Sep 28, 2012 09:30am
“Think about qualities you find attractive in a boy.”
“Well, I think intelligence is very important,” a g...more This is a real thing that happens in the book:
“Think about qualities you find attractive in a boy.”
“Well, I think intelligence is very important,” a girl named Bianca volunteered.
“Obviously, he should be a good provider,” her friend Hannah piped up.
Miss Castle looked at a loss. She was spared having to comment by a contribution from a
different quarter.
“People are only interesting if they’re dark and disturbed,” said Alicia, one of the goths.
“Chicks shouldn’t talk so much,” drawled Tyler from the back of the room. It was the first
thing we’d heard him say all term, and Miss Castle was graciously prepared to overlook its
derogatory nature.
:( This got past an editor?(less)
Sep 28, 2012 09:30am
Apr 10, 2012
Zero vi Britannia
rated it
1 of 5 stars
Shelves:
bad-first-impression,
did-this-book-even-have-an-editor,
how-did-this-get-published,
if-i-could-turn-back-time,
mythology-what-mythology,
they-publish-anything-don-t-they,
this-is-going-to-hurt,
this-will-not-be-pretty,
useless-lead-character,
waste-of-trees,
slow-and-painful,
it-gave-me-blue-brain,
why-am-i-still-unpublished,
couldn-t-finish
Everything I'm reading now
Is filled with stupid crap
And it was the same with Halo
I fell for Utter-shitto's trap
Everything that you said was true
This book was such a waste of time
After getting through with Halo
I want to commit a crime
Reading Halo. Halo. Halo.
Reading Halo. Halo. Halooooooo
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
++++
It's sad that a book can be so bad that it doesn't even piss you off. I'm sorry, but I cannot take this book seriously. I gave it one hundred pages. More details later.
EDIT: REVIEW TI...more Everything I'm reading now
Is filled with stupid crap
And it was the same with Halo
I fell for Utter-shitto's trap
Everything that you said was true
This book was such a waste of time
After getting through with Halo
I want to commit a crime
Reading Halo. Halo. Halo.
Reading Halo. Halo. Halooooooo
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
++++
It's sad that a book can be so bad that it doesn't even piss you off. I'm sorry, but I cannot take this book seriously. I gave it one hundred pages. More details later.
EDIT: REVIEW TIME!!
I should begin by saying that I did not finish this book. It was impossible for me to finish this book. Why?
Lack of Effort
As anyone who has read this book will notice, Alexandra Utter-shitto did not even attempt to try. She actually puts in contradictory information throughout.
Ex: The angels are supposed to be unfamiliar with life on Earth. However, it is revealed that both Gabriel and Ivy have been here before. Also, they didn't know that humans needed to eat. However, we later learn that they did various other types of research (Films and the like) Now, how did that get past the editors?
Even I noticed this! And I used to like TMI and HoN. I weep for my poor 16-year-old self.
Bethany
This girl is incompetent. She always needs someone to help her. Even her human boyfriend. That's right: A human has to help an angel. She forgets her book. Xavier lets her use his and tells the teacher that he forgot his. She gets drunk at a partay! (Utter-shitto's did it! Not me) Xavier comes to her rescue.
Plot
Where was it? We readers are told that the Agents of Darkness(view spoiler)[ Really, Utter-shitto? Really? (hide spoiler)] want to do something terrible to the world and the angels have to save it. One hundred pages in and Utter-shitto still doesn't delve any deeper. Instead, we are treated to school, Xavier, upcoming prom, Xavier, partays!, Xavier Woods, Mr. Xavier Woods, X Woody, and more Xavier.
Ivy
She has no personality. As I was reading the scenes she had I was always wondering why was she even there? Then again, as long as it means less time is devoted to how perfect Ed-I mean Xavier is, Ivy is okay (not really).
The Archangel Gabriel
Pop Quiz: If you are writing a book about angels who have to save the world, and you include the angel who is famous for bring news of John the Baptist and Jesus' births, where would you send him?
A) War-torn Middle East
B) Posh first-world town.
C) Darfur
If you answered "B" then I suggest that you give up writing. Kidding.(view spoiler)[No, I'm not (hide spoiler)]
And finally:
Angel Names
As any of you with a passing familiarity with angels should know, angels have a set pattern with their names: "-el" or "-iel" (Except for Metatron but...)
Where the hell did Bethany and Ivy come from? Unless they're short for Iviel or Bethaniel, they don't belong!
Hey, Utter-shitto, do you know why this is so? Hmmm? It's because "el" means God in Hebrew. These angels have names that tie them to God, and you've just stomped all over that! I hope you're happy.
So concludes my review of Halo, a book so bad it's funny. But honestly, I don't blame Utter-shitto. I blame the editors, publishers, her parents, her teachers, and Twilight.
Yes, Twilight! Because of that book, we now have to deal with copy kneazles that are even worse than the original.
That being said, I probably will read Hades just for the lulz and to see how far i can get. The only upside to this was that I checked this book out from the library and didn't have to pay for it (not even in fines!)
(less)
Is filled with stupid crap
And it was the same with Halo
I fell for Utter-shitto's trap
Everything that you said was true
This book was such a waste of time
After getting through with Halo
I want to commit a crime
Reading Halo. Halo. Halo.
Reading Halo. Halo. Halooooooo
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
++++
It's sad that a book can be so bad that it doesn't even piss you off. I'm sorry, but I cannot take this book seriously. I gave it one hundred pages. More details later.
EDIT: REVIEW TI...more Everything I'm reading now
Is filled with stupid crap
And it was the same with Halo
I fell for Utter-shitto's trap
Everything that you said was true
This book was such a waste of time
After getting through with Halo
I want to commit a crime
Reading Halo. Halo. Halo.
Reading Halo. Halo. Halooooooo
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
++++
It's sad that a book can be so bad that it doesn't even piss you off. I'm sorry, but I cannot take this book seriously. I gave it one hundred pages. More details later.
EDIT: REVIEW TIME!!
I should begin by saying that I did not finish this book. It was impossible for me to finish this book. Why?
Lack of Effort
As anyone who has read this book will notice, Alexandra Utter-shitto did not even attempt to try. She actually puts in contradictory information throughout.
Ex: The angels are supposed to be unfamiliar with life on Earth. However, it is revealed that both Gabriel and Ivy have been here before. Also, they didn't know that humans needed to eat. However, we later learn that they did various other types of research (Films and the like) Now, how did that get past the editors?
Even I noticed this! And I used to like TMI and HoN. I weep for my poor 16-year-old self.
Bethany
This girl is incompetent. She always needs someone to help her. Even her human boyfriend. That's right: A human has to help an angel. She forgets her book. Xavier lets her use his and tells the teacher that he forgot his. She gets drunk at a partay! (Utter-shitto's did it! Not me) Xavier comes to her rescue.
Plot
Where was it? We readers are told that the Agents of Darkness(view spoiler)[ Really, Utter-shitto? Really? (hide spoiler)] want to do something terrible to the world and the angels have to save it. One hundred pages in and Utter-shitto still doesn't delve any deeper. Instead, we are treated to school, Xavier, upcoming prom, Xavier, partays!, Xavier Woods, Mr. Xavier Woods, X Woody, and more Xavier.
Ivy
She has no personality. As I was reading the scenes she had I was always wondering why was she even there? Then again, as long as it means less time is devoted to how perfect Ed-I mean Xavier is, Ivy is okay (not really).
The Archangel Gabriel
Pop Quiz: If you are writing a book about angels who have to save the world, and you include the angel who is famous for bring news of John the Baptist and Jesus' births, where would you send him?
A) War-torn Middle East
B) Posh first-world town.
C) Darfur
If you answered "B" then I suggest that you give up writing. Kidding.(view spoiler)[No, I'm not (hide spoiler)]
And finally:
Angel Names
As any of you with a passing familiarity with angels should know, angels have a set pattern with their names: "-el" or "-iel" (Except for Metatron but...)
Where the hell did Bethany and Ivy come from? Unless they're short for Iviel or Bethaniel, they don't belong!
Hey, Utter-shitto, do you know why this is so? Hmmm? It's because "el" means God in Hebrew. These angels have names that tie them to God, and you've just stomped all over that! I hope you're happy.
So concludes my review of Halo, a book so bad it's funny. But honestly, I don't blame Utter-shitto. I blame the editors, publishers, her parents, her teachers, and Twilight.
Yes, Twilight! Because of that book, we now have to deal with copy kneazles that are even worse than the original.
That being said, I probably will read Hades just for the lulz and to see how far i can get. The only upside to this was that I checked this book out from the library and didn't have to pay for it (not even in fines!)
(less)

Yep, that was me while reading this book. Sad, no?
Oh, and before I forget:
Dear Alexandra Adornetto,

Reviewed by Jo for Book Chick City.
The first in a trilogy, 'Halo' tells the story of three Angels who have been sent to a small town with the task to keep the dark forces at bay. To fit in, Bethany, the youngest of the Angels, enrols at the local school where she meets Xaviar. They soon realise their attraction and Bethany gets far more involved with him than a teen angel should. A new student, Jake shows up and his arrival brings trouble for the townsfolk and the Angels.
Ok, first of all I would...more Reviewed by Jo for Book Chick City.
The first in a trilogy, 'Halo' tells the story of three Angels who have been sent to a small town with the task to keep the dark forces at bay. To fit in, Bethany, the youngest of the Angels, enrols at the local school where she meets Xaviar. They soon realise their attraction and Bethany gets far more involved with him than a teen angel should. A new student, Jake shows up and his arrival brings trouble for the townsfolk and the Angels.
Ok, first of all I would like to say the cover is beautiful. Really beautiful and even though the old chestnut phrase of not judging a book by its cover should apply, it’s really unavoidable at times. You see a pretty cover and you want to know more, right? Good, it’s not just me then. The cover of Halo is one of the best I’ve seen from last year. My role at BCC is to review books, so why am I reviewing the cover instead of the story? Well sadly, it’s the best thing about the book.
This story is one we have read many times, especially since the Twilight-explosion. Two teenagers, one is a supernatural being attracted to a mortal even though it’s forbidden and a dark force hangs over the whole thing threatening to ruin it all. Some books brings a fresh twist to this plot, others take the genre a few steps back. I’m afraid to me, this was the latter.
The plot was really slow, with explanations and details about Angels, heaven and lots of things I felt it wasn’t really important to know. It seemed it was only in the last 80 pages that the plot was taken into effect and something actually happened. The characters were not very likeable. We have Angels, who are portrayed as domesticated celestial beings rather than the strong, powerful entities I think of. One of them is Gabriel, as in the Gabriel, the archangel! But what does he do? Nothing. Sits around, does some cooking, sings a bit and that is pretty much it for most of the book. Bethany as the main character was unlikeable, and moped around after Xaviar for a lot of the book. When they weren’t together, she was complaining about wanting to be with him. She felt clingy, obsessive, and insipid and she is a freaking Angel, sent to Earth to save mankind. How can she do that if she is stuck to a boy like a limpet? Bethany got tiring really quickly, as well as frustrating. Xaviar is a nice boy, and that is all. He felt flat and had no personality.
I do read YA a lot, and enjoy a lot of what I read. I do get frustrated when the female characters become obsessed with boys, and fall madly in love in a minute. I like love, and I’m a big fan of it, so please don’t think this is me not believing in love and soul mates. I just don’t enjoy reading about female lead characters becoming insipid, moon-faced drips constantly thinking of boys. Bethany is an angel, and even if she wasn’t, where is the strength, determination and intelligence that so many young girls should aspire to? I do respect this is a young adult book, but I do honestly feel if I read this at 14 years old I would still be thinking how whiny and annoying Bethany is over a guy, and I also think that books transcend any age anyway. There are so many YA books out there with really strong female characters that do not turn into the ‘damsel in distress’ stereotype once they meet their ‘soulmate’. If this trilogy doesn’t end in Bethany married and pregnant, then I will eat my hat. It’s very disappointing, and I don’t want to sound like a meanie because I do understand this book has many fans, but Maggie Stiefvater, Diana Peterfreund and Suzanne Collins, for instance, write really fantastic YA females in relationships that don’t cost a girl her personality and strength. If you are looking for smart, brave, strong and appealing female characters, and brilliantly written novels then I’d recommend them.
VERDICT:
Slightly tedious and slow, the lead up and the character were not enough to enjoy this story. Even with the pretty cover, there are far better books out there with characters that do not sacrifice their brain for a boy.(less)
The first in a trilogy, 'Halo' tells the story of three Angels who have been sent to a small town with the task to keep the dark forces at bay. To fit in, Bethany, the youngest of the Angels, enrols at the local school where she meets Xaviar. They soon realise their attraction and Bethany gets far more involved with him than a teen angel should. A new student, Jake shows up and his arrival brings trouble for the townsfolk and the Angels.
Ok, first of all I would...more Reviewed by Jo for Book Chick City.
The first in a trilogy, 'Halo' tells the story of three Angels who have been sent to a small town with the task to keep the dark forces at bay. To fit in, Bethany, the youngest of the Angels, enrols at the local school where she meets Xaviar. They soon realise their attraction and Bethany gets far more involved with him than a teen angel should. A new student, Jake shows up and his arrival brings trouble for the townsfolk and the Angels.
Ok, first of all I would like to say the cover is beautiful. Really beautiful and even though the old chestnut phrase of not judging a book by its cover should apply, it’s really unavoidable at times. You see a pretty cover and you want to know more, right? Good, it’s not just me then. The cover of Halo is one of the best I’ve seen from last year. My role at BCC is to review books, so why am I reviewing the cover instead of the story? Well sadly, it’s the best thing about the book.
This story is one we have read many times, especially since the Twilight-explosion. Two teenagers, one is a supernatural being attracted to a mortal even though it’s forbidden and a dark force hangs over the whole thing threatening to ruin it all. Some books brings a fresh twist to this plot, others take the genre a few steps back. I’m afraid to me, this was the latter.
The plot was really slow, with explanations and details about Angels, heaven and lots of things I felt it wasn’t really important to know. It seemed it was only in the last 80 pages that the plot was taken into effect and something actually happened. The characters were not very likeable. We have Angels, who are portrayed as domesticated celestial beings rather than the strong, powerful entities I think of. One of them is Gabriel, as in the Gabriel, the archangel! But what does he do? Nothing. Sits around, does some cooking, sings a bit and that is pretty much it for most of the book. Bethany as the main character was unlikeable, and moped around after Xaviar for a lot of the book. When they weren’t together, she was complaining about wanting to be with him. She felt clingy, obsessive, and insipid and she is a freaking Angel, sent to Earth to save mankind. How can she do that if she is stuck to a boy like a limpet? Bethany got tiring really quickly, as well as frustrating. Xaviar is a nice boy, and that is all. He felt flat and had no personality.
I do read YA a lot, and enjoy a lot of what I read. I do get frustrated when the female characters become obsessed with boys, and fall madly in love in a minute. I like love, and I’m a big fan of it, so please don’t think this is me not believing in love and soul mates. I just don’t enjoy reading about female lead characters becoming insipid, moon-faced drips constantly thinking of boys. Bethany is an angel, and even if she wasn’t, where is the strength, determination and intelligence that so many young girls should aspire to? I do respect this is a young adult book, but I do honestly feel if I read this at 14 years old I would still be thinking how whiny and annoying Bethany is over a guy, and I also think that books transcend any age anyway. There are so many YA books out there with really strong female characters that do not turn into the ‘damsel in distress’ stereotype once they meet their ‘soulmate’. If this trilogy doesn’t end in Bethany married and pregnant, then I will eat my hat. It’s very disappointing, and I don’t want to sound like a meanie because I do understand this book has many fans, but Maggie Stiefvater, Diana Peterfreund and Suzanne Collins, for instance, write really fantastic YA females in relationships that don’t cost a girl her personality and strength. If you are looking for smart, brave, strong and appealing female characters, and brilliantly written novels then I’d recommend them.
VERDICT:
Slightly tedious and slow, the lead up and the character were not enough to enjoy this story. Even with the pretty cover, there are far better books out there with characters that do not sacrifice their brain for a boy.(less)
Becca
Thank you for such an honest and well-explained review. I think I will look for a different book to read. :)
Jun 18, 2011 11:12pm
Jun 18, 2011 11:12pm
Disappointment was hiding behind that pretty cover. I couldn't finish Halo. I usually love stories about angels and the cover is beautiful (I'm a bit of a cover slut) but I found this book boring, so in the end I gave up. I felt like I had to force myself to read on. There has been so many angel books out recently that I was looking for that something special and unfortunately this wasn't it for me. I don't know if I gave it a fair chance reading only 100 pages so maybe one day I'll come back an...more
Disappointment was hiding behind that pretty cover. I couldn't finish Halo. I usually love stories about angels and the cover is beautiful (I'm a bit of a cover slut) but I found this book boring, so in the end I gave up. I felt like I had to force myself to read on. There has been so many angel books out recently that I was looking for that something special and unfortunately this wasn't it for me. I don't know if I gave it a fair chance reading only 100 pages so maybe one day I'll come back and try again when I have ran out of good books to read.
(less)
(less)
Jul 17, 2011
Jahlia ((thing 10 Evil 1))
rated it
1 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
Nobody, even i'm not that cruel.
Recommended to Jahlia ((thing 10 Evil 1)) by:
Masochism, again
This is the single most annoying piece of shit literature that i think i've ever read. For the first 250 pages i was so pissed off that i every time i read a couple pages i got off my computer and walked into the living room to do something far less annoying and more entertaining. Talk to my mom about soap opras. Yeah, i'm serious. This book had me shaking my fist at my computer screen, telling it how lucky it wasn't a hard copy. Because halo, was irritating me so much that i wanted to throw it...more
This is the single most annoying piece of shit literature that i think i've ever read. For the first 250 pages i was so pissed off that i every time i read a couple pages i got off my computer and walked into the living room to do something far less annoying and more entertaining. Talk to my mom about soap opras. Yeah, i'm serious. This book had me shaking my fist at my computer screen, telling it how lucky it wasn't a hard copy. Because halo, was irritating me so much that i wanted to throw it against the wall.
I ended up doing ANYTHING to put off reading it. Including homework/school projects/ and rereading books that were written by far better authors. Here, are my irritations.
*Bethany, okay i hated her. Possibly because she was one of the most naiive and stupid characters i'd ever read about. Nora grey! Meet your even DUMBER twin! I've read about dumb main characters but really she took the cake. (NEWSFLASH adornetto, being an angel doesn't mean that she lived under a rock!)
After her and her siblings come down from heaven to do good, she decides to fall head over heels for a guy she barely knew. I'm serious, they met like three times before she declared "I'm in a love!" sorry to break it to you, sweetie but that's something called raging hormones. Because evidently no one told beth to keep it in her pants and that just because you two find each other attractive, doesn't mean you're in love. No, sorry.
So, anyway not only does bethany goes to the jump decision that she's in love but she also decides that she loves him enough to put her family at risk.
*Break in review here. Alexandra has just proven that she knows jack shit about angel mythology. Because
the second the oh-so-perfect-and-beautiful bethany started thinking about locking lips with xavier, she would've fell and became a fallen angel. Because in case this wasn't common knowledge, lust is a sin. Angels are supposed to perfect and i'm guessing that lusting after a human is a big no-no in heaven. Meaning someone would've lost their precious precious wings.*
So anyway, bethany continues to see xavier even though her family is at risk. I guess that's the power oftwo horny teenagers love.
So beth continues and eventually she even tells him that she's an angel because she feels that their horny connection is that strong. But don't worry readers! It blossoms into something much better! Unhealthy obsession! Ya books just love using that theme don't they?! So, then beth is found out and her naughty playtimes are put to an end and she becomes a fallen angel. Oh wait, that doesn't happen because since the author seems keen on keeping the rules of heaven from applying to her,
Beth is allowed to keep her wings and her boyfriend! Yay, not!
But this book did have some good things too, when the villain comes the book actually holds my interest for the remainder of the story. Possibly because this villain passionately loved/hated bethany, and i'm entertained by that. OR halo just permanently damaged my brain. which is how this book got it's second star.
But i still have issues, with xavier. Yeah, you were probably expecting this too but i hated the smothering bastard. He's so controlling and obsessed with bethany that i wanted to reach inside the book punch his lights out. I'm sorry, but just NO! I don't think it's romantic for a guy to make me eat a granola bar when i don't want to. I don't care if you think it's healthy for her, it's her body you ass, and if she doesn't want to eat the fricken granola bar, it's her own damn business.
And that's not the only reason why i hate this asshole. When he sees a picture of Beth and jake he automatically jumps to the conclusion that beth cheated on him. I have no qualms with THAT but what i do have a problem with is that he wouldn't even hear beth's side of the story. That pissed me off even more than how YAdouchebags love interests just tell the herorine again and again how much things weren't her fault. I guess i should be relieved but really, that scene pissed me off. Especially how beth was just crying and practically begging him to forgive her. No, f*** no. I'm wondering if some of these bastards take classes on how to be complete jagoffs. The whole scene just reeked of a abusive husband who was beating his wife because her skirt was too short and men were looking at her. Especially when xavier bitched about how humilated he was, real nice adornetto. He's a real keeper and him and bethany are meant to be. It's destiny, they're soulmates

So, this book is the most annoying book I'd ever read. Would I ever reccommend it? Depends on how durable their mind is. Though probably not, because even i'm not that cruel to put someone through this torture.(less)
I ended up doing ANYTHING to put off reading it. Including homework/school projects/ and rereading books that were written by far better authors. Here, are my irritations.
*Bethany, okay i hated her. Possibly because she was one of the most naiive and stupid characters i'd ever read about. Nora grey! Meet your even DUMBER twin! I've read about dumb main characters but really she took the cake. (NEWSFLASH adornetto, being an angel doesn't mean that she lived under a rock!)
After her and her siblings come down from heaven to do good, she decides to fall head over heels for a guy she barely knew. I'm serious, they met like three times before she declared "I'm in a love!" sorry to break it to you, sweetie but that's something called raging hormones. Because evidently no one told beth to keep it in her pants and that just because you two find each other attractive, doesn't mean you're in love. No, sorry.
So, anyway not only does bethany goes to the jump decision that she's in love but she also decides that she loves him enough to put her family at risk.
*Break in review here. Alexandra has just proven that she knows jack shit about angel mythology. Because
the second the oh-so-perfect-and-beautiful bethany started thinking about locking lips with xavier, she would've fell and became a fallen angel. Because in case this wasn't common knowledge, lust is a sin. Angels are supposed to perfect and i'm guessing that lusting after a human is a big no-no in heaven. Meaning someone would've lost their precious precious wings.*
So anyway, bethany continues to see xavier even though her family is at risk. I guess that's the power of
So beth continues and eventually she even tells him that she's an angel because she feels that their horny connection is that strong. But don't worry readers! It blossoms into something much better! Unhealthy obsession! Ya books just love using that theme don't they?! So, then beth is found out and her naughty playtimes are put to an end and she becomes a fallen angel. Oh wait, that doesn't happen because since the author seems keen on keeping the rules of heaven from applying to her,
Beth is allowed to keep her wings and her boyfriend! Yay, not!
But this book did have some good things too, when the villain comes the book actually holds my interest for the remainder of the story. Possibly because this villain passionately loved/hated bethany, and i'm entertained by that. OR halo just permanently damaged my brain. which is how this book got it's second star.
But i still have issues, with xavier. Yeah, you were probably expecting this too but i hated the smothering bastard. He's so controlling and obsessed with bethany that i wanted to reach inside the book punch his lights out. I'm sorry, but just NO! I don't think it's romantic for a guy to make me eat a granola bar when i don't want to. I don't care if you think it's healthy for her, it's her body you ass, and if she doesn't want to eat the fricken granola bar, it's her own damn business.
And that's not the only reason why i hate this asshole. When he sees a picture of Beth and jake he automatically jumps to the conclusion that beth cheated on him. I have no qualms with THAT but what i do have a problem with is that he wouldn't even hear beth's side of the story. That pissed me off even more than how YA

So, this book is the most annoying book I'd ever read. Would I ever reccommend it? Depends on how durable their mind is. Though probably not, because even i'm not that cruel to put someone through this torture.(less)
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it,
click here.
This novel was quite honestly the worst YA PNR (paranormal romance) I've ever read, setting the bar even lower than Hush, Hush, the previous holder of the title. One might wonder how this book could possibly be worse than a novel where the love interest continually sexually harasses the heroine, almost rapes her, and attempts to kill her on several occasions. I, too, asked this question, and this review is my answer.
Halo follows Bethany, a young angel sent to earth with her older siblings, Gabri...more This novel was quite honestly the worst YA PNR (paranormal romance) I've ever read, setting the bar even lower than Hush, Hush, the previous holder of the title. One might wonder how this book could possibly be worse than a novel where the love interest continually sexually harasses the heroine, almost rapes her, and attempts to kill her on several occasions. I, too, asked this question, and this review is my answer.
Halo follows Bethany, a young angel sent to earth with her older siblings, Gabriel and Ivy, to fight the Agents of Darkness in Venus Cove, a small costal town in Georgia. Almost as soon as they arrive, Bethany meets and instantly falls in love with Xavier Woods, who she continually chooses over God and her mission.As a consequence of her disobedience, God banishes Bethany from Heaven, and places her in everlasting chains of darkness to await judgment day with the other fallen angels. (Or, that's what should have happened.) Inexplicably, Bethany and Xavier are allowed to continue their unholy relationship with little resistance from Heavenly forces. A comically obvious villain arrives halfway through the story, but decides to "play nice" with the angels until the last fifth of the novel. In the end, the villain is defeated by Bethany and Xavier's love, and everyone lives happily ever after—until the sequel.
Halo has absolutely no redeeming qualities. The characters are poorly constructed, the romance is unoriginal, unbelievable, and unhealthy, the plot is nonexistent (yet somehow still manages to have gaping holes), the writing is atrocious, and the messages, both implicit and explicit, are harmful.
Starting with the characters, we have Bethany, who is the classic author self-insert. The wish fulfillment aspect of the character is simultaneously hilarious and irritating. Just look at a Mary Sue Litmus Test and tell me Bethany doesn't fit the formula. Beauty. Check. Good looking popular sports star boyfriend. Check. Affinity towards animals. Check. Intelligence (as shown by good grades). Check. Prom queen. Check. Healing magic. Check. And the list goes on. Despite being told how wonderful Bethany is, what we are shown is a person who is self-absorbed, shallow, and very judgmental. On top of these ugly personality traits, she is also one of the weakest and least intelligent heroines in YA literature. To give you an idea, Bella, Nora, and even Luce compare favorably to her in terms of strength and intelligence.
Her love interest, Xavier, doesn't fair any better. He is an arrogant, controlling, chauvinistic pig. His general attitude about women is that they are stupid, weak, and silly, and he constantly pats himself of the back for being able to protect them from both themselves and the world. In his relationship with Bethany, he is extremely controlling and disrespectful. He tells her who to be friends with and even physically prevents other people from approaching her, he often talks for her, and at one point he force feeds her in the most demeaning way possible:
Bethany and Xavier's relationship is also codependent. According to Bethany, they can't be apart for more than an hour. When they briefly break up, Bethany practically goes into a coma a la Bella Swan after Edward leaves her, only she's even less functional. Bethany stops going to school, doesn't leave the house, doesn't eat much, and sleeps all the time. Even Bella made it to school.
Like so many other YA romances, there is no real build-up. Bethany and Xavier instantly fall in love without having one meaningful conversation. Within weeks, they can't live without each other, and are willing to die for one another, but nothing in the story has justified this sort of devotion. This makes their relationship come across as very shallow, especially considering that Bethany spends an exorbitant amount of time gushing about Xavier's looks and his smell, oddly enough.
As for the secondary characters, none of them are particularly compelling. Gabriel and Ivy prove to be only slightly more intelligent than Bethany. For example, they fail to research Venus Cove or modern technology before actually going to earth. Molly shows promise but her obsession with prom and overall shallowness keeps her from being a truly likable character.
Then we have the villain, Jake Thorn, who is randomly referred to by both his first and last name throughout the book for some inexplicable reason. Although not explicitly stated until the end, it's clear from Jake's first appearance that he is the novel's antagonist. His last name is Thorn, he has a serpent tattoo, he likes reptiles, and he dresses in black. But for some reason none of the angels recognizes him for what he is: a demon. By keeping the characters in the dark, but making his true nature obvious to the reader, Adornetto insults the reader's intelligence, and makes her characters look like complete morons.
In addition to the terrible characterization, the novel has no plot. It is just a series of scenes that didn't flow cohesively together. One scene does not build on another, and many have no impact on the overall story. For example, there is one scene where Bethany and Xavier go to a carnival, and have their fortunes read. This scene added nothing to the story. It did not develop Bethany or Xavier as characters, it did not develop their relationship, and it had did not move the plot forward. Neither the carnival nor the psychic are ever mentioned again.
As impossible as it sounds, a novel with no plot can still have major plot holes. The most serious one in this novel has to do with Adornetto's disregard for Biblical teachings, which is indefensible considering that her angels are pretty clearly Catholic. They hold Catholic-specific beliefs (e.g. Limbo), attend Catholic church on Sundays, and have a friendly relationship with a Catholic priest, who is the only human to recognize them as angels. As such, they should be consistent with Catholic beliefs about angels such as the belief that angels who sin are cast out of Heaven.
One of the most egregious sins is putting the love of another above God. Bethany time and again does exactly this by neglecting God's mission to spend time with Xavier, and threatening to fight Heaven to be with him. This means that the entire story should not have happened, which is a major flaw. If Bethany's relationship with Xavier weren't bad enough, she is also guilty of many other sins including vanity, lust, and pride, three of the Seven Deadly Sins.
Adornetto's lack of research is not limited to theology. She also failed to research American culture and customs despite setting her story in the United States. For example, Xavier is the "school captain" not the "student body president," and he's on the rugby team rather than the football team, both of which were changed in the sequel.
Another irritating plot hole is the lack of an explanation for why these angels are sent to Venus Cove. Instead of sending two of his highest-ranking angels to a place with real problems, such as war, famine, and genocide, God sends them to an upscale small town in the United States where the misfortunes appear to be limited to some suspicious fires, a handful of deaths from the flu, and some freak accidents. No explanation is given for why they are there as opposed to the more deserving parts of the world.
In terms of writing style, Halo doesn't fair any better. The book is ridden with both grammatical and punctuation errors. The editor should be fired, and Adornetto should be asked to take a few more English courses before submitting another manuscript. Even more irritating are the descriptive errors. Colors are constantly described as objects. For example, Xavier has "nutmeg hair" or "walnut hair" instead of nutmeg-colored hair or walnut-brown hair. Technically, nutmeg hair would be hair made of nutmeg, which I'm guessing is not what Adornetto meant to say.
Other times, she uses descriptions that don't make sense like "rain gray" eyes. Rain is not actually gray. Rain clouds can be gray (although they can be a host of other colors), but not the rain itself. In one humorous example that includes both of the aforementioned descriptive errors, Jake is described as having "cat-green" eyes. Cats are not green. He could, however, have cat-like green eyes.
All of the above make this a very painful read, but I was most perturbed by the disturbing messages present throughout the novel, especially those regarding women. Women are portrayed as weak, shallow, and trivial. They are obsessed with makeup, prom, and finding boyfriends. Bethany even states that the prayers of teenage girls are mostly about being popular and wanting a sports-star boyfriend.
Women are also regularly dismissed by men. Xavier is condescending towards all females in his life, including his mother, sisters, Bethany, and his ex-girlfriend. Xavier's father and Gabriel are also dismissive of women at times. If that weren't bad enough, the women also constantly defer to men, validating the idea that the men should be in charge. Nine times out of ten, Bethany defers to Xavier, and Ivy and Bethany both defer to Gabriel despite the fact that Ivy is a higher ranking angel than Gabriel.
The novel is also very preachy about other subjects. Bethany tells the reader that technology is evil and destroys family value, Xavier preaches about the importance of children deferring to their parents (although he doesn't follow his own advice), and the reader is told that virginity is a gift, and that sex before marriage is wrong (but it's okay to sleep together in the same bed, and lie naked together). Women who are sexual are looked down upon, but men rarely get the same treatment. Xavier admits to having sex with his ex-girlfriend and he's still considered the paragon of perfection, while girls who have sex before marriage are seen as shameful and slutty.
This novel was an agonizing read, and I would not recommend it to anyone. It presents a disturbing picture of relationships, God, women, men, and the world. There is absolutely nothing positive to say about the substance of this book.(less)
Halo follows Bethany, a young angel sent to earth with her older siblings, Gabri...more This novel was quite honestly the worst YA PNR (paranormal romance) I've ever read, setting the bar even lower than Hush, Hush, the previous holder of the title. One might wonder how this book could possibly be worse than a novel where the love interest continually sexually harasses the heroine, almost rapes her, and attempts to kill her on several occasions. I, too, asked this question, and this review is my answer.
Halo follows Bethany, a young angel sent to earth with her older siblings, Gabriel and Ivy, to fight the Agents of Darkness in Venus Cove, a small costal town in Georgia. Almost as soon as they arrive, Bethany meets and instantly falls in love with Xavier Woods, who she continually chooses over God and her mission.
Halo has absolutely no redeeming qualities. The characters are poorly constructed, the romance is unoriginal, unbelievable, and unhealthy, the plot is nonexistent (yet somehow still manages to have gaping holes), the writing is atrocious, and the messages, both implicit and explicit, are harmful.
Starting with the characters, we have Bethany, who is the classic author self-insert. The wish fulfillment aspect of the character is simultaneously hilarious and irritating. Just look at a Mary Sue Litmus Test and tell me Bethany doesn't fit the formula. Beauty. Check. Good looking popular sports star boyfriend. Check. Affinity towards animals. Check. Intelligence (as shown by good grades). Check. Prom queen. Check. Healing magic. Check. And the list goes on. Despite being told how wonderful Bethany is, what we are shown is a person who is self-absorbed, shallow, and very judgmental. On top of these ugly personality traits, she is also one of the weakest and least intelligent heroines in YA literature. To give you an idea, Bella, Nora, and even Luce compare favorably to her in terms of strength and intelligence.
Her love interest, Xavier, doesn't fair any better. He is an arrogant, controlling, chauvinistic pig. His general attitude about women is that they are stupid, weak, and silly, and he constantly pats himself of the back for being able to protect them from both themselves and the world. In his relationship with Bethany, he is extremely controlling and disrespectful. He tells her who to be friends with and even physically prevents other people from approaching her, he often talks for her, and at one point he force feeds her in the most demeaning way possible:
He picked up the bar and waved it through the air making a whistling noise with his mouth. "It'll be a lot more embarrassing if we have to start playing airplanes."
"What's airplanes?"
"A game mothers play to get stubborn children to eat."
"I laughed, and he seized the opportunity of flying the health bar straight into my mouth.
Bethany and Xavier's relationship is also codependent. According to Bethany, they can't be apart for more than an hour. When they briefly break up, Bethany practically goes into a coma a la Bella Swan after Edward leaves her, only she's even less functional. Bethany stops going to school, doesn't leave the house, doesn't eat much, and sleeps all the time. Even Bella made it to school.
Like so many other YA romances, there is no real build-up. Bethany and Xavier instantly fall in love without having one meaningful conversation. Within weeks, they can't live without each other, and are willing to die for one another, but nothing in the story has justified this sort of devotion. This makes their relationship come across as very shallow, especially considering that Bethany spends an exorbitant amount of time gushing about Xavier's looks and his smell, oddly enough.
As for the secondary characters, none of them are particularly compelling. Gabriel and Ivy prove to be only slightly more intelligent than Bethany. For example, they fail to research Venus Cove or modern technology before actually going to earth. Molly shows promise but her obsession with prom and overall shallowness keeps her from being a truly likable character.
Then we have the villain, Jake Thorn, who is randomly referred to by both his first and last name throughout the book for some inexplicable reason. Although not explicitly stated until the end, it's clear from Jake's first appearance that he is the novel's antagonist. His last name is Thorn, he has a serpent tattoo, he likes reptiles, and he dresses in black. But for some reason none of the angels recognizes him for what he is: a demon. By keeping the characters in the dark, but making his true nature obvious to the reader, Adornetto insults the reader's intelligence, and makes her characters look like complete morons.
In addition to the terrible characterization, the novel has no plot. It is just a series of scenes that didn't flow cohesively together. One scene does not build on another, and many have no impact on the overall story. For example, there is one scene where Bethany and Xavier go to a carnival, and have their fortunes read. This scene added nothing to the story. It did not develop Bethany or Xavier as characters, it did not develop their relationship, and it had did not move the plot forward. Neither the carnival nor the psychic are ever mentioned again.
As impossible as it sounds, a novel with no plot can still have major plot holes. The most serious one in this novel has to do with Adornetto's disregard for Biblical teachings, which is indefensible considering that her angels are pretty clearly Catholic. They hold Catholic-specific beliefs (e.g. Limbo), attend Catholic church on Sundays, and have a friendly relationship with a Catholic priest, who is the only human to recognize them as angels. As such, they should be consistent with Catholic beliefs about angels such as the belief that angels who sin are cast out of Heaven.
One of the most egregious sins is putting the love of another above God. Bethany time and again does exactly this by neglecting God's mission to spend time with Xavier, and threatening to fight Heaven to be with him. This means that the entire story should not have happened, which is a major flaw. If Bethany's relationship with Xavier weren't bad enough, she is also guilty of many other sins including vanity, lust, and pride, three of the Seven Deadly Sins.
Adornetto's lack of research is not limited to theology. She also failed to research American culture and customs despite setting her story in the United States. For example, Xavier is the "school captain" not the "student body president," and he's on the rugby team rather than the football team, both of which were changed in the sequel.
Another irritating plot hole is the lack of an explanation for why these angels are sent to Venus Cove. Instead of sending two of his highest-ranking angels to a place with real problems, such as war, famine, and genocide, God sends them to an upscale small town in the United States where the misfortunes appear to be limited to some suspicious fires, a handful of deaths from the flu, and some freak accidents. No explanation is given for why they are there as opposed to the more deserving parts of the world.
In terms of writing style, Halo doesn't fair any better. The book is ridden with both grammatical and punctuation errors. The editor should be fired, and Adornetto should be asked to take a few more English courses before submitting another manuscript. Even more irritating are the descriptive errors. Colors are constantly described as objects. For example, Xavier has "nutmeg hair" or "walnut hair" instead of nutmeg-colored hair or walnut-brown hair. Technically, nutmeg hair would be hair made of nutmeg, which I'm guessing is not what Adornetto meant to say.
Other times, she uses descriptions that don't make sense like "rain gray" eyes. Rain is not actually gray. Rain clouds can be gray (although they can be a host of other colors), but not the rain itself. In one humorous example that includes both of the aforementioned descriptive errors, Jake is described as having "cat-green" eyes. Cats are not green. He could, however, have cat-like green eyes.
All of the above make this a very painful read, but I was most perturbed by the disturbing messages present throughout the novel, especially those regarding women. Women are portrayed as weak, shallow, and trivial. They are obsessed with makeup, prom, and finding boyfriends. Bethany even states that the prayers of teenage girls are mostly about being popular and wanting a sports-star boyfriend.
Women are also regularly dismissed by men. Xavier is condescending towards all females in his life, including his mother, sisters, Bethany, and his ex-girlfriend. Xavier's father and Gabriel are also dismissive of women at times. If that weren't bad enough, the women also constantly defer to men, validating the idea that the men should be in charge. Nine times out of ten, Bethany defers to Xavier, and Ivy and Bethany both defer to Gabriel despite the fact that Ivy is a higher ranking angel than Gabriel.
The novel is also very preachy about other subjects. Bethany tells the reader that technology is evil and destroys family value, Xavier preaches about the importance of children deferring to their parents (although he doesn't follow his own advice), and the reader is told that virginity is a gift, and that sex before marriage is wrong (but it's okay to sleep together in the same bed, and lie naked together). Women who are sexual are looked down upon, but men rarely get the same treatment. Xavier admits to having sex with his ex-girlfriend and he's still considered the paragon of perfection, while girls who have sex before marriage are seen as shameful and slutty.
This novel was an agonizing read, and I would not recommend it to anyone. It presents a disturbing picture of relationships, God, women, men, and the world. There is absolutely nothing positive to say about the substance of this book.(less)
FREEBIRD.
Lisa, this was a fantastic review! I have barely even heard of this book so I'm glad I stumbled across this. You wrote this so eloquently and thoughtf...more
Lisa, this was a fantastic review! I have barely even heard of this book so I'm glad I stumbled across this. You wrote this so eloquently and thoughtfully. I was really amazed at how in depth and researched this review was. Great job! It told me exactly what I needed to know.(less)
Jun 20, 2012 04:01pm
Jun 20, 2012 04:01pm
Lisa
Jypsyjulia wrote: "Lisa, this was a fantastic review! I have barely even heard of this book so I'm glad I stumbled across this. You wrote this so eloq...more
Jypsyjulia wrote: "Lisa, this was a fantastic review! I have barely even heard of this book so I'm glad I stumbled across this. You wrote this so eloquently and thoughtfully. I was really amazed at how in depth an..."
Thanks, Jupsyjulia. This book was infuriating. I'm glad you enjoyed the review. :)(less)
Jun 20, 2012 05:04pm
Thanks, Jupsyjulia. This book was infuriating. I'm glad you enjoyed the review. :)(less)
Jun 20, 2012 05:04pm
Severely disappointed, to say the least. Will update later.
Update:
Ok, finally I will update this particular review. First, I can't believe I even gave it 2 stars. Let me preface this by saying that I'm not the world's best book critic or reviewer, and I'm ok with that. Most of the time, I'm easy to please and there's rarely a book I truly dislike. I had assumed that there couldn't be a book I'd dislike more than the Vampire Kisses series.
I stand corrected.
An easy way to gauge how much I like a...more Severely disappointed, to say the least. Will update later.
Update:
Ok, finally I will update this particular review. First, I can't believe I even gave it 2 stars. Let me preface this by saying that I'm not the world's best book critic or reviewer, and I'm ok with that. Most of the time, I'm easy to please and there's rarely a book I truly dislike. I had assumed that there couldn't be a book I'd dislike more than the Vampire Kisses series.
I stand corrected.
An easy way to gauge how much I like a book is the speed in which I read it. If it's good, I won't sleep and marathon read until finished. How long did it take me to read this? OVER 2 WEEKS. That might as well be a year in my case. Honestly, if I wasn't so OCD about finishing every book I start, I would have thrown this in the trash. Bethany was so whiny and helpless for a supposed 'heavenly creature.' I couldn't stand her from the beginning. And while I'm a romantic, the love story between B and Xavier made me want to vomit and simultaneously claw my eyes out. Codependent much? It felt like this book would.never.end.
I know there's a lot of conflicting opinions on the whole Angel thing in YA books, but I've very much enjoyed books like Fallen, Hush Hush, etc. Halo, however, is the most sorry excuse for book, much less one that has to do with angels. The entire book, I kept thinking "what's the f*cking point already??" I found zero enjoyment in any of it and I strongly urge anyone not to waste their time or money on it.
/End of bitch fest
May we never speak of this book again.(less)
Update:
Ok, finally I will update this particular review. First, I can't believe I even gave it 2 stars. Let me preface this by saying that I'm not the world's best book critic or reviewer, and I'm ok with that. Most of the time, I'm easy to please and there's rarely a book I truly dislike. I had assumed that there couldn't be a book I'd dislike more than the Vampire Kisses series.
I stand corrected.
An easy way to gauge how much I like a...more Severely disappointed, to say the least. Will update later.
Update:
Ok, finally I will update this particular review. First, I can't believe I even gave it 2 stars. Let me preface this by saying that I'm not the world's best book critic or reviewer, and I'm ok with that. Most of the time, I'm easy to please and there's rarely a book I truly dislike. I had assumed that there couldn't be a book I'd dislike more than the Vampire Kisses series.
I stand corrected.
An easy way to gauge how much I like a book is the speed in which I read it. If it's good, I won't sleep and marathon read until finished. How long did it take me to read this? OVER 2 WEEKS. That might as well be a year in my case. Honestly, if I wasn't so OCD about finishing every book I start, I would have thrown this in the trash. Bethany was so whiny and helpless for a supposed 'heavenly creature.' I couldn't stand her from the beginning. And while I'm a romantic, the love story between B and Xavier made me want to vomit and simultaneously claw my eyes out. Codependent much? It felt like this book would.never.end.
I know there's a lot of conflicting opinions on the whole Angel thing in YA books, but I've very much enjoyed books like Fallen, Hush Hush, etc. Halo, however, is the most sorry excuse for book, much less one that has to do with angels. The entire book, I kept thinking "what's the f*cking point already??" I found zero enjoyment in any of it and I strongly urge anyone not to waste their time or money on it.
/End of bitch fest
May we never speak of this book again.(less)
Cheese
Beyond Birthday wrote: "
Awesome review."
Thanks!
And I'm laughing because I just noticed my first update when I started the book. I should have known...more Beyond Birthday wrote: "
Awesome review."
Thanks!
And I'm laughing because I just noticed my first update when I started the book. I should have known then.....(less)
May 10, 2011 10:58pm
Awesome review."
Thanks!
And I'm laughing because I just noticed my first update when I started the book. I should have known...more Beyond Birthday wrote: "
Awesome review."
Thanks!
And I'm laughing because I just noticed my first update when I started the book. I should have known then.....(less)
May 10, 2011 10:58pm
Steph Sinclair
Great review.

I didn't read this, nor will I. My patience with angels are limited in Paranormal books.
May 17, 2011 05:40am

I didn't read this, nor will I. My patience with angels are limited in Paranormal books.
May 17, 2011 05:40am
| topics | posts | views | last activity | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Book Junkies: Dale and Bridgett read Halo! | 16 | 12 | 4 hours, 33 min ago | |
| Xavier or Jake? | 390 | 393 | May 14, 2013 05:09pm | |
| You know your a Halo fan when... | 6 | 26 | May 14, 2013 05:01pm | |
| Did you like this? | 70 | 149 | May 10, 2013 12:43pm | |
| Young Adult Reads: Halo Series? | 7 | 46 | May 08, 2013 02:06pm | |
| Simile | 4 | 19 | Apr 08, 2013 11:32pm | |
| Theme | 2 | 9 | Apr 06, 2013 10:10pm |
Alexandra Emily Adornetto was born on 18 April 1992 in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. She is the daughter of an English teacher and a Drama teacher and attended, in her own words, "many" schools including MacRobertson Girls' High School, Ruyton Girls' School, Korowa Anglican Girls' School and Eltham College. She says she was 13 years old and on school holidays when she decided to become a recluse...more
Alexandra Emily Adornetto was born on 18 April 1992 in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. She is the daughter of an English teacher and a Drama teacher and attended, in her own words, "many" schools including MacRobertson Girls' High School, Ruyton Girls' School, Korowa Anglican Girls' School and Eltham College. She says she was 13 years old and on school holidays when she decided to become a recluse and started writing her first book for young adults, entitled The Shadow Thief. She did some research into Australian publishing houses, making sure she followed all the submission guidelines exactly, and then sent her manuscript to HarperCollins. She has said that it took HarperCollins about twenty-four weeks to get back to her asking to publish her book.
She is currently splitting her time between Australia and the USA, while she studies and writes. In the future she hopes to combine novel writing and acting as Alexandra Grace. Her passions include old-school country music, theology, singing and performing.
http://us.macmillan.com/author/alexan...(less)
More about Alexandra Adornetto...
She is currently splitting her time between Australia and the USA, while she studies and writes. In the future she hopes to combine novel writing and acting as Alexandra Grace. Her passions include old-school country music, theology, singing and performing.
http://us.macmillan.com/author/alexan...(less)
Share This Book
Facebook
Twitter
Your website
Share This Book on Your Website
| title link |
preview: Halo |
| avg rating |
preview: ![]() Halo
Goodreads rating: 3.70 (29266 ratings) |
| small image |
preview: click here |
| med image |
preview: click here |
| BBCode |
11 trivia questions
11 quizzes
More quizzes & trivia...
11 quizzes
“A man in love can do extraordinary things, I don’t care if you’re an angel, you’re my angel, and I won’t let you go.”
—
526 people liked it
“One of the most frustrating words in the human language, as far as I could tell, was love.
So much meaning attached to this one little word. People bandied it about freely, using it to
describe their attachments to possessions, pets, vacation destinations, and favorite foods. In the
same breath they then applied this word to the person they considered most important in their
lives. Wasn’t that insulting? Shouldn’t there be some other term to describe deeper emotion?”
—
378 people liked it
More quotes…
So much meaning attached to this one little word. People bandied it about freely, using it to
describe their attachments to possessions, pets, vacation destinations, and favorite foods. In the
same breath they then applied this word to the person they considered most important in their
lives. Wasn’t that insulting? Shouldn’t there be some other term to describe deeper emotion?”

Loading...



































































Mar 20, 2013 09:30pm
Mar 24, 2013 07:55pm