Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Talking about Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior: Tools for Talking about Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior
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Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Talking about Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior: Tools for Talking about Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior

4.03 of 5 stars 4.03  ·  rating details  ·  1,544 ratings  ·  102 reviews
The authors of the "New York Times" bestseller "Crucial Conversations" show you how to achieve personal, team, and organizational success by healing broken promises, resolving violated expectations, and influencing good behavior

Discover skills to resolve touchy, controversial, and complex issues at work and at home--now available in this follow-up to the internationally po...more
ebook, 284 pages
Published August 26th 2004 by McGraw-Hill
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Kristy Tillman
If you want to really help people excel in life - this is a must have book on communication. It really deals with so much more than communication and confrontation. The chapter on motivation has given me so much more understanding on how people are motivated and it gave me some really great tools to help others and myself get unstuck.

I also loved this quote on safety "At the foundation of every successful confrontation lies safety. When others feel frightened or nervous or otherwise unsafe, you...more
I'm not much of a confrontational person because I lose control when emotions and stakes are high. But after reading this book, I really do feel like I could talk to anyone about anything, if I had the time to plan for it. It takes preparation to make a crucial confrontation go well.
What I liked from the book is how the authors encourage you to have your crucial confrontations. So often we shy out of them and endure the unpleasant consequences. It's almost always worth it to have them. Another m...more
Terrah Mayes
We all run into sticky situations, we all have to confront or be confronted by others in this life. This book teaches the skills that all schools should be teaching in order to deal with bullying and it is written for real life situations again great examples of what happens if we avoid a confrontation the consequences or if we face the situation again the consequences. Example: what if you are a nurse and you see the surgeon not scrub up properly, and you know a life could hang in the balance....more
Joshua Steimle
It's been a little while since I read Crucial Conversations, so maybe I'm forgetting things, but it seems to me like this book is more or less more of the same. In that sense, it's good stuff. But if you're looking for something exciting and new that gives you valuable information on top of what you already learned from Crucial Conversations, well, not so much. I'd treat it more as an appendix to the original as opposed to a new volume. I'd give it four stars for the content, but only three sinc...more
Matt Evans
This book takes the principles from Crucial Conversations and applies them specifically to confrontational situations. The words ‘conversation’ and ‘confrontation’ are rather easy to get confused. At least for me.
‘Confrontation,’ per CConf’s use, denotes a simple (i.e., value neutral) assessment of one’s expectation of what another is supposed to do versus one’s observation of that other has actually done.

In other words, the skill of confrontation is useful in all walks of life, at all times, fo...more
This is a fantastic book! Very well written, well organized, and full of examples and research.

(Forgive me. I somehow lost my review while typing it up, so I'm trying to remember what I had already written.)
The authors are very careful to make sure that for each concept given that there is an appropriate example of a conversation that either could possibly happen or was actually observed. This enables the reader to mentally wrap their head around how such a conversation would go for them as well...more
This was a GREAT book! I liked it so much I hurried to read it in three days before I had return it to the library. :) I liked it a lot better than Crucial Conversations--maybe that's because I'm finally internalizing some of Crucial Conversations after reading it a few times and so this book made more sense. I feel like it gave more examples I could relate to. Crucial Confrontations takes those principles from Crucial Conversations and shows how to use them in really important situations while...more
Kater Cheek
This feels like more of a textbook than a non fiction for the layman, but that may have been because it was lent to me in a set of two, with an audio guide. It reads like a self help book, which is really what it is.

I think almost everyone needs this book. Most people are not very good at having crucial confrontations with others in a way that's effective and motivating. Usually they avoid the conversation entirely, or don't get to the root of the problem. Frequently people resort too quickly t...more
Susan Campbell
This is such a great book on how to manage conflicts at work or in your personal life. It provides you with a system (process) of how you can resolve any tough issue while still maintaining a great relationship. I must admit, it takes a lot of practice, but the process is truly scientific and it works all the time.
Peter Krol
I know you won't admit it, but you're just like me.

You have all those very difficult conversations that you know you need to have, but you run from them. Your co-worker gets away with anything, even though everyone knows they can't be trusted. That issue has been hanging between you and your spouse, and you just don't know how to address it without tempers flaring. Your children would benefit from more engagement with life, but whenever you bring it up they roll their eyes at the guest lecturer...more
I'm very grateful that this book series/authors were introduced to me. I'm very excited about the treasures in the business management genre... I never knew!
Now, I'm not into business management... but this book is a fantastic read for anyone who wants to do a better job of communicating with EVERYONE in their lives! I learned SO much and intend to read it again and again so that I can continue to improve.
Anyone who wants to improve their relationships would benefit from taking t...more
Melissa Bond
A very interesting and helpful resource in dealing with those uncomfortable situations that often waste time and leave with hurt feelings. However, it was quite a convoluted way to explain common sense, especially since there was too often little in exact details to handling a situation. To put it simply, imagine reading a book on how to change the oil in a car. If this author wrote that book, you would know all the signs leading up to changing the oil, but none on exactly how to do it. Still, t...more
Marnette Falley
Together with Crucial Conversations (which is by the same authors), this is my favorite book about communication. This one talks about when and whether to confront someone about their behavior, how to master the stories you tell yourself about the situation,and how to communicate the gap you feel between your expectations and their behavior with respect.

What's great about the book, though, is that it really shows you/tells you what these conversations sound like. It's focused on application of
Heidi Gonzalez
Easy to read and follow, a bit repetitive but not annoyingly so, this book touches on so many confrontation styles and how to have them more effectively. I thought I was pretty good at confrontations but I learned that I still could use some work. There are some really great practical ideas that can be used for home and work environments. Coming out of silence and confronting people in a honest and non-threatening way can make all of our lives easier. This is a great tool for supervisors, leade...more
Easy to read with clear examples on how to change your interactions with others. I read this for a class and was able to apply several of the concepts immediately.
Jan 15, 2008 Clackamas rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: managers
Recommended to Clackamas by: Boss
This is a great book to read for a business setting and can also help your personal communications. It teaches you how to recognize the real problem so that you address the issues that are actually going to make a difference. It also lays out decision making processes to help you decide IF this is a crucial confrontation. It shows you what a typical crucial confrontation looks like, and the negative effects that it can have on the workplace. The authors then illustrate what that conversation cou...more
John Harris
I guess it was updated to Crucial Accountability. Either way it was another great read by this group. Great supplemental reading for Crucial Conversations.
John Dobbin
This, and its companion (Crucial Conversations), should be mandatory reading for every manager and every parent
Leslie Frazier
This book helps build muscle memory for how to respond to certain issues. I found it helpful.
Jen Chau
Sep 16, 2009 Jen Chau rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Everyone who is trying to improve their ability to discuss the difficult
Excellent book on how to deal with extremely difficult conversations. I have read tons of books on communication, and this book got me to think in ways I never had before. Great ideas for how to confront serious problems in a relationship (mostly focused on work relationships with some examples around personal relationships). I have already found myself putting some of the principles to use and I really see the difference! This book is great if you have a hard time confronting people OR have a h...more
I liked this book. Have been reading communication-related books lately, and this is better than most. Can't get away from platitudes and over-simplifications, but well, some strike home better than others, and this book struck home for me.
Good, accessible read. It gave me some good perspective.
Parts of this book I loved and were very helpful other parts I thought were very obvious to working in the business world but still very important. Need to reread (or relisten to) when my mind can think more clearly as there are many aspects of the book where the author expects you to connect the dots and mentally I'm not at the point I can do that so the book felt like there were a lot of holes.

Overall a book I feel like everyone should read as it applies to us all but not an exciting one to re...more
"We face confrontation in our daily lives, be it at work or at home. This book provides an effective advice on how to handle all types of confrontation in a positive way. Anybody can improve their ability to handle crucial confrontation by adapting specific skills required to deal it. The Author has explained step by step process of addressing issues.Various useful tools have been provided to improve communication especially while confronting a violated expectations.
Highly recommended. "
Like the authors' previous book, Crucial Conversations, this book is a high leverage way to improve your relationships with others, and your ability to hold yourself and others accountable without damaging the relationship. A must read, whether for your work life or your personal life. As for "Crucial Conversations," I thought so highly of this book and the tools taught in it that I completed the "train-the-trainer" workshop and now provide training programs based on the material.
Bryan Tanner
Not as life-changing as I'd hoped, but still very good.

I was expecting this to be completely business focused, but was surprised to find that half of the examples dealt with navigating complex issues in family relationships.

This book helped me identify how I react in various high-stakes situations, and in doing so has allowed me to practice changing my behavior when I recognize the beginnings of a potentially negative confrontation.

These VitalSmarts guys are brilliant!
I loved this book. It's not a book to read for enjoyment but for self improvement. the book focuses on how to be assertive, when to be assertive, and what to do after you've been assertive. While I think it's important to have read the book. I also think it will be helpful to own the book so you can review it and also to listen to it on cd or something often. Otherwise I don't think reading the book will really do you a whole lot of good. It's not a one time read for sure.
I found this to be a better book than Crucial Conversations, as it is more applicable to some of the business relationships that pushed me toward the series in the first place. Simply put, Conversations is about preventative care, while Confrontations is about reparing the damage done. These are both excellent books, and I highly recommend them to every people manager out there, as well as to anyone who wants to find better ways to improve their interpersonal relationships.
Mia Israelsen Blackwelder
I seriously loved this book- for someone like me who struggles with being frank and open with people, this book had a lot of good information for me. I need to start working on these skills. I also loved the focus on being positive ad complimentary at the end - we all really do focus too much on the negative and not acknowledge the positive things as much as humans. I love these authors- I think what they write rings so true.
I thought this was a great book to help get me started thinking about what it takes to have a crucial confrontation. Many times we don't want to confront others or we confront them ineffectively. This book helped me fix myself (by changing my thoughts and actions) and learn how to confront others (how to communicate, what to focus on and how to motivate them). I believe it will help me become a more effective manager.
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Kerry is a prolific writer who has coauthored numerous articles and award-winning training programs. Kerry taught at Brigham Young University’s Marriott School of Management and then cofounded Interact Performance Systems, where he worked for ten years as vice president of research and development. Kerry is coauthor of the New York Times bestsellers Change Anything, Crucial Conversations, Crucial...more
More about Kerry Patterson...
Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High Influencer: The Power to Change Anything Change Anything: The New Science of Personal Success Crucial Accountability: Tools for Resolving Violated Expectations, Broken Commitments, and Bad Behavior, Second Edition Value Based Fees

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