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Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Talking about Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior: Tools for Talking about Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior
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Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Talking about Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior: Tools for Talking about Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior

4.06 of 5 stars 4.06  ·  rating details  ·  2,839 ratings  ·  138 reviews
The authors of the "New York Times" bestseller "Crucial Conversations" show you how to achieve personal, team, and organizational success by healing broken promises, resolving violated expectations, and influencing good behavior

Discover skills to resolve touchy, controversial, and complex issues at work and at home--now available in this follow-up to the internationally po
ebook, 284 pages
Published August 26th 2004 by McGraw-Hill
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Kristy Tillman
If you want to really help people excel in life - this is a must have book on communication. It really deals with so much more than communication and confrontation. The chapter on motivation has given me so much more understanding on how people are motivated and it gave me some really great tools to help others and myself get unstuck.

I also loved this quote on safety "At the foundation of every successful confrontation lies safety. When others feel frightened or nervous or otherwise unsafe, you
I'm not much of a confrontational person because I lose control when emotions and stakes are high. But after reading this book, I really do feel like I could talk to anyone about anything, if I had the time to plan for it. It takes preparation to make a crucial confrontation go well.
What I liked from the book is how the authors encourage you to have your crucial confrontations. So often we shy out of them and endure the unpleasant consequences. It's almost always worth it to have them. Another m
Terrah Mayes
We all run into sticky situations, we all have to confront or be confronted by others in this life. This book teaches the skills that all schools should be teaching in order to deal with bullying and it is written for real life situations again great examples of what happens if we avoid a confrontation the consequences or if we face the situation again the consequences. Example: what if you are a nurse and you see the surgeon not scrub up properly, and you know a life could hang in the balance. ...more
It is a helpful resource for dealing with uncomfortable situations. I have already experienced success in its application. The principles it uses to guide accountability conversations are wholistic and well grounded, rather than a set of gimmicks or tricks to get people to bend to the desired outcome. The process leads to a win-win situation with both parties becoming better people.
Melissa Bond
A very interesting and helpful resource in dealing with those uncomfortable situations that often waste time and leave with hurt feelings. However, it was quite a convoluted way to explain common sense, especially since there was too often little in exact details to handling a situation. To put it simply, imagine reading a book on how to change the oil in a car. If this author wrote that book, you would know all the signs leading up to changing the oil, but none on exactly how to do it. Still, t ...more
Josh Steimle
It's been a little while since I read Crucial Conversations, so maybe I'm forgetting things, but it seems to me like this book is more or less more of the same. In that sense, it's good stuff. But if you're looking for something exciting and new that gives you valuable information on top of what you already learned from Crucial Conversations, well, not so much. I'd treat it more as an appendix to the original as opposed to a new volume. I'd give it four stars for the content, but only three sinc ...more
This book is out of the "how to run a better business" genre, which is a category I do not generally read.
However, it was recommended to me at several levels given my work position. So I gave it a read.

And I must say it is excellent.
It really should be read by everyone, but it is particularly relevant to anyone in a position of responsibility/oversight.

It is a very insightful and useful manual on how to frame and approach accountability conversations. Sounded a bit ridiculous to me, so I approa
"Permanently resolve failed promises and missed deadlines."
"Transform broken rules and bad behaviors into productive accountability."
"Strengthen relationships while solving problems."

Strong claims.

"Brilliant strategies for those difficult discussions at home and in the workplace..." wrote Soledad O'Brien, cohost of CNN's Morning Edition.

"Revolutionary ideas... opportunities for breakthrough..." comes the recommendation from the late Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effecti
Scott Wozniak
Super powerful book. The topic is related to their other book, Crucial Conversations, but there isn't as much overlap as I feared. Some general principles are shared because they're truths about how people communicate in general (like pausing to establish safety if they accuse you of a personal attack). But this book is about the specific aspects of a relationship here you have set an expectation or a standard--and how to discuss when those expectations aren't met.

Some points they make are just
Matt Evans
This book takes the principles from Crucial Conversations and applies them specifically to confrontational situations. The words ‘conversation’ and ‘confrontation’ are rather easy to get confused. At least for me.
‘Confrontation,’ per CConf’s use, denotes a simple (i.e., value neutral) assessment of one’s expectation of what another is supposed to do versus one’s observation of that other has actually done.

In other words, the skill of confrontation is useful in all walks of life, at all times, fo
This is a fantastic book! Very well written, well organized, and full of examples and research.

(Forgive me. I somehow lost my review while typing it up, so I'm trying to remember what I had already written.)
The authors are very careful to make sure that for each concept given that there is an appropriate example of a conversation that either could possibly happen or was actually observed. This enables the reader to mentally wrap their head around how such a conversation would go for them as well
This was a GREAT book! I liked it so much I hurried to read it in three days before I had return it to the library. :) I liked it a lot better than Crucial Conversations--maybe that's because I'm finally internalizing some of Crucial Conversations after reading it a few times and so this book made more sense. I feel like it gave more examples I could relate to. Crucial Confrontations takes those principles from Crucial Conversations and shows how to use them in really important situations while ...more
Kater Cheek
This feels like more of a textbook than a non fiction for the layman, but that may have been because it was lent to me in a set of two, with an audio guide. It reads like a self help book, which is really what it is.

I think almost everyone needs this book. Most people are not very good at having crucial confrontations with others in a way that's effective and motivating. Usually they avoid the conversation entirely, or don't get to the root of the problem. Frequently people resort too quickly t
Susan Campbell
This is such a great book on how to manage conflicts at work or in your personal life. It provides you with a system (process) of how you can resolve any tough issue while still maintaining a great relationship. I must admit, it takes a lot of practice, but the process is truly scientific and it works all the time.
Peter Krol
I know you won't admit it, but you're just like me.

You have all those very difficult conversations that you know you need to have, but you run from them. Your co-worker gets away with anything, even though everyone knows they can't be trusted. That issue has been hanging between you and your spouse, and you just don't know how to address it without tempers flaring. Your children would benefit from more engagement with life, but whenever you bring it up they roll their eyes at the guest lecturer
I'm very grateful that this book series/authors were introduced to me. I'm very excited about the treasures in the business management genre... I never knew!
Now, I'm not into business management... but this book is a fantastic read for anyone who wants to do a better job of communicating with EVERYONE in their lives! I learned SO much and intend to read it again and again so that I can continue to improve.
Anyone who wants to improve their relationships would benefit from taking t
Marnette Falley
Together with Crucial Conversations (which is by the same authors), this is my favorite book about communication. This one talks about when and whether to confront someone about their behavior, how to master the stories you tell yourself about the situation,and how to communicate the gap you feel between your expectations and their behavior with respect.

What's great about the book, though, is that it really shows you/tells you what these conversations sound like. It's focused on application of
S. Lynham
Getting ready for potential management position requires some reading and this is one book that is excellent as is the second edition called "Crucial Accountability" that I also read this past week...lots to learn
Heidi Gonzalez
Easy to read and follow, a bit repetitive but not annoyingly so, this book touches on so many confrontation styles and how to have them more effectively. I thought I was pretty good at confrontations but I learned that I still could use some work. There are some really great practical ideas that can be used for home and work environments. Coming out of silence and confronting people in a honest and non-threatening way can make all of our lives easier. This is a great tool for supervisors, leade ...more
Easy to read with clear examples on how to change your interactions with others. I read this for a class and was able to apply several of the concepts immediately.
Jan 15, 2008 Clackamas rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: managers
Recommended to Clackamas by: Boss
This is a great book to read for a business setting and can also help your personal communications. It teaches you how to recognize the real problem so that you address the issues that are actually going to make a difference. It also lays out decision making processes to help you decide IF this is a crucial confrontation. It shows you what a typical crucial confrontation looks like, and the negative effects that it can have on the workplace. The authors then illustrate what that conversation cou ...more
John Harris
I guess it was updated to Crucial Accountability. Either way it was another great read by this group. Great supplemental reading for Crucial Conversations.
Kelsey Dutton
This book is nicely laid out and presents useful tactics to keep in mind. If only calm reasoning was everyone's first response to conflict.
Hidi Gardner
When it comes to potentially difficult conversations, the question is not so much "Can I fail?" but "Should I try?"
John Dobbin
This, and its companion (Crucial Conversations), should be mandatory reading for every manager and every parent
Leslie Frazier
This book helps build muscle memory for how to respond to certain issues. I found it helpful.
Jen Chau
Sep 16, 2009 Jen Chau rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Everyone who is trying to improve their ability to discuss the difficult
Excellent book on how to deal with extremely difficult conversations. I have read tons of books on communication, and this book got me to think in ways I never had before. Great ideas for how to confront serious problems in a relationship (mostly focused on work relationships with some examples around personal relationships). I have already found myself putting some of the principles to use and I really see the difference! This book is great if you have a hard time confronting people OR have a h ...more
Valuable suggestions for how to have those difficult conversations
Michael Blevins
This book is ok. Pretty much the same book as crucial conversations. I find myself overthinking in a conversation to follow the diagram the authors lay out.
Apr 12, 2015 Denis marked it as to-read  ·  review of another edition
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
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Kerry is a prolific writer who has coauthored numerous articles and award-winning training programs. Kerry taught at Brigham Young University’s Marriott School of Management and then cofounded Interact Performance Systems, where he worked for ten years as vice president of research and development. Kerry is coauthor of the New York Times bestsellers Change Anything, Crucial Conversations, Crucial ...more
More about Kerry Patterson...
Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High Influencer: The Power to Change Anything Change Anything: The New Science of Personal Success Value Based Fees Crucial Conversations Skills (Crucial Conversations & Crucial Accountability)

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“If the story is unflattering and the feeling is anger, adrenaline kicks in. Under the influence of adrenaline, blood leaves our brains to help support our genetically engineered response of “fight or flight,” and we end up thinking with the brain of a reptile. We say and do dim-witted things.” 2 likes
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