A brave and revealing examination of an overlooked affliction that affects one in four Canadians.
Despite having a demanding j... read full description
Despite having a demanding j... read full description
reviews
Jun 01, 2010
Alexis
rated it: 
Four and a half stars. I really liked this book and couldn't put it down. It's part memoir, part scientific and analytical exploration of the state of loneliness. We're not talking about just being alone, but a crippling loneliness and isolation/alienation from fellow humanity. I thought this book was eye opening, honest and informative. Kudos to White for taking on such a taboo subject and for talking honestly about isolation and the human condition. I hope a lot of people read this daring work
More...
Nov 19, 2011
Camille
rated it: 
The idea of this book was great. And I was sincerely hoping that the author was going to have some concrete steps for handling chronic loneliness. But ultimately, some of the points raised were even MORE isolating, like the fact that if you tell people you are lonely, they will see you as less intelligent, desireable, and attractive. That really isn't going to make anyone want to open up and break this "taboo" subject. In the end, the only way the author overcame her lonliness was, sho
More...
Aug 25, 2011
Emily White's memoir was interesting, but definitely not a quick read. White explores loneliness from the perspective of her own experience, relates experiences from other lonely persons, and also cites extensively from research (and I confess, some of the research was a bit of a slog).
In today's world, we understand and accept depression. We know how to talk about it, and we sort of know how to treat it. Loneliness, on the other hand, is not spoken of, or, if it does come up, is bru More...
In today's world, we understand and accept depression. We know how to talk about it, and we sort of know how to treat it. Loneliness, on the other hand, is not spoken of, or, if it does come up, is bru More...
Jun 12, 2011
Lumpenprole
rated it:
Most interesting of all: the reactions this one generated in me. At page 25 I would have cheerfully hit the author offside the head with a 2x4; what with all the whining I was frankly muttering "STFU," "STFU," oh, and just please "STFU." At page 50 I was wondering why, oh, why I wasn't directing said 2x4 at my own skull? Nothing had seemingly changed in either narrative or tone, yet here I was turning page after page and neither putting the book down, offering mysel
More...
Jun 02, 2011
Brita
rated it:
"...it reads more like a rambling journal rather than a cohesive and concise argument."
That was a comment from another poster...I have to say, thats what makes this book so great. For those that are suffering from loneliness, reading a book that explains things in ways that you may not have seen before is enlightening, but the fact that its like reading your own journal makes it that much more relatable. You begin to see loneliness as something real that you yourself could More...
That was a comment from another poster...I have to say, thats what makes this book so great. For those that are suffering from loneliness, reading a book that explains things in ways that you may not have seen before is enlightening, but the fact that its like reading your own journal makes it that much more relatable. You begin to see loneliness as something real that you yourself could More...
Jan 26, 2011
Amy
rated it:
Title: Lonely
Author: Emily White
Pages: 352
Release Date: March 9, 2010
Publisher: Harper Publishing
ISBN: 978-0061765094
Genre: Memoir; Non-Fiction
Rating: 3.5 out of 5
Summary: Despite having a demanding job, good friends, and a supportive family, Emily White spent many of her evenings and weekends alone at home, trying to understand why she felt so completely disconnected from everyone. In this insightful and soul-baring memoir, White reco More...
Author: Emily White
Pages: 352
Release Date: March 9, 2010
Publisher: Harper Publishing
ISBN: 978-0061765094
Genre: Memoir; Non-Fiction
Rating: 3.5 out of 5
Summary: Despite having a demanding job, good friends, and a supportive family, Emily White spent many of her evenings and weekends alone at home, trying to understand why she felt so completely disconnected from everyone. In this insightful and soul-baring memoir, White reco More...
Jan 11, 2011
Mary
rated it: 
The idea of this book is much better than the actual written piece. Loneliness is a problem that is becoming all too evident in modern society and kudos to the author for bringing this subject to light. However, it's badly in need of an editing job.
It seems like she could cut about 100 pages out of the middle and still get the same point across. She tried to include all of her own conclusions regarding the research she found and in the end, it reads more like a rambling journal rat More...
It seems like she could cut about 100 pages out of the middle and still get the same point across. She tried to include all of her own conclusions regarding the research she found and in the end, it reads more like a rambling journal rat More...
Jun 01, 2010
Gwen
rated it:
Disappointing. The author spends a LOT of time trying to differentiate between loneliness and depression, but I'm really not sure what her ultimate message is. She wants loneliness to be more recognized and acknowleged as a real thing, but then what? I'm not clear on what her goals are.
The scientific parts of the book began to feel very repetitious to me, while the memoir parts were frustrating. She seemed to always want or expect others to help her, but she was so unwilling to More...
The scientific parts of the book began to feel very repetitious to me, while the memoir parts were frustrating. She seemed to always want or expect others to help her, but she was so unwilling to More...
0 comments
like
(1 person liked it)
May 21, 2011
Holly
rated it:
Although I score below normal on the "UCLA Loneliness Scale" and rarely experience loneliness, I was interested in reading about the difference between loneliness and solitude. White, though, really wants to differentiate loneliness and depression. There was something I couldn't quite put my finger on about this book -- some missing piece or key I thought would describe her state. Just when I began to think that the author's loneliness was the expression of a psychological disorder she
More...
Apr 18, 2010
Marty
rated it: 
LONELY is part memoir and part scientific exploration of the state of loneliness. I really enjoyed the memoir part of the book, the science less so.
I lived alone for four years in my mid-twenties, and I would say I was slightly lonely during that time. I had a great social life and plenty of friends, but I was missing what White calls "the quiet presence of another person" - either a roommate or a friend that would just hang out without talking or actively doing things tog More...
I lived alone for four years in my mid-twenties, and I would say I was slightly lonely during that time. I had a great social life and plenty of friends, but I was missing what White calls "the quiet presence of another person" - either a roommate or a friend that would just hang out without talking or actively doing things tog More...
Jul 09, 2011
Sara
rated it:
Picked up this one after a magazine review. Someone else wrote, "The idea of this book is better than the book." That's exactly right. It is written to be both an academic study and a personal memoir. I was expecting something like Kay Redfield Jamison's work on moods, where there are historical, societal, scientific, psychological, and personal chapters. But no. The research seems scanty and repetitive, as does the anecdotal stuff. No real insightful societal commentary about the loss
More...
Apr 28, 2010
Lynne
rated it:
Emily White, a successful, smart attorney, is suffering from something that looks like depression - only it's not. It's chronic loneliness even in the middle of a vibrant and peopled life. In the same way that grief and depression can be intertwined yet separate, White suspects that loneliness and depression can be unique, distinct states. Yet the medical/therapeutic community doesn't recognize it as such, and offers no relief. White, in trying to understand and overcome the condition, researche
More...
May 12, 2011
Kasey
rated it:
One of my favorite parts of this book is its unusual subject matter, and the way Emily White approaches it: she's both intensely personal (it really is a memoir, and a very honest one) and at the same time objective, research-based, looking at loneliness from the outside and the inside at once. She's also passionate about the need for people to understand loneliness and to take it seriously, as seriously as we take depression. Two things I wished she'd gone into more detail about: she keeps
More...
Jul 02, 2010
Mari
rated it:
I read most of this earlier this year, right after it came out. Then got busy/distracted and finished the last bit recently. She gets her seemingly happy ending (and reading her current blog seems to be working out), but this is less memoir and more academic report on loneliness research, which I found really helpful. However, I haven't fully absorbed what the knowledge of loneliness as a condition/disorder means to me and what, if anything, I want to do about it. I know I'll be more proactive a
More...
Feb 17, 2011
Zoë
rated it:
Lonely: Learning to Live with Solitude is a memoir in which author Emily White attempts to understand the chronic loneliness which has plagued her almost her entire life. Boldly stating that loneliness deserves the same attention as other mental illnesses such as depression, she intertwines her own personal story with scientific data and accounts offered by other lonely people on their experiences.
Lonely is a 2011 release I'd been greatly looking forward to, but I was somehow under th More...
Lonely is a 2011 release I'd been greatly looking forward to, but I was somehow under th More...
Apr 09, 2011
Dawn
rated it:
The title of this book made me not only grab it off the new book shelf at the library but I was also determined to give it as media attention as I was capable of.
I loved the author's notion that loneliness is something different than depression, and is a condition unto itself. White, a former lawyer, pounds the pavement & medical libraries until she finds research to support this.
Reading White's story (and the stories of so many other anonymous lonely people she intervi More...
I loved the author's notion that loneliness is something different than depression, and is a condition unto itself. White, a former lawyer, pounds the pavement & medical libraries until she finds research to support this.
Reading White's story (and the stories of so many other anonymous lonely people she intervi More...
0 comments
like
(1 person liked it)
Jul 29, 2011
Mike
rated it:
Author Emily White makes a strong case that loneliness is a distinct mental health issue that deserves the same attention and research as funding or bipolar disorder. Prolonged loneliness can shorten your life.
This book is part memoir of White's own nearly four-year experience with intense loneliness and part science reporting on the latest research into loneliness as a condition. The memoir sections are a bit dry and clinical, I think partly because White is using her own diaries as source ma More...
This book is part memoir of White's own nearly four-year experience with intense loneliness and part science reporting on the latest research into loneliness as a condition. The memoir sections are a bit dry and clinical, I think partly because White is using her own diaries as source ma More...
Jan 08, 2012
Erica
rated it:
The title caught my eye as I was walking through a bookstore years ago and being in the midst of a bout of loneliness myself recently, decided to finally pick it up from the library. There's something psychologically comforting about putting a name to one's "condition", something that tames it a bit. White weaves her own experiences with loneliness with those of others and the latest scientific research on the subject. Some of her conclusions or observations felt a bit squishy and some
More...
Jun 01, 2010
Michelle
rated it:
This is the kind of book that reminds me why I love psychology, social psychology in particular. I enjoyed this book, and I think it's unique and makes a valid point. A few criticisms though. For one, the author gets a bit muddled in places, but that can be excused by the fact that her topic is rather muddy. It was part memoir, so I suppose I can forgive the fact that some of her judgments seemed quite subjective, like endorsing loneliness categories defined by a researcher but making fun of a s
More...
Oct 10, 2010
Kathryn
rated it:
The reason why I (like most people) enjoy reading memoirs is because I long for the sense of relating to another human being. I enjoyed reading this book and got a lot out of the author's own personal experiences.
Over the past few years, I have noticed a sense of loneliness in myself, and when a friend mentioned this book, I immediately wanted to read it. I have a tendency to be independent - almost to a fault, but lately, I'm realizing that this part of my own nature doesn't ent More...
Over the past few years, I have noticed a sense of loneliness in myself, and when a friend mentioned this book, I immediately wanted to read it. I have a tendency to be independent - almost to a fault, but lately, I'm realizing that this part of my own nature doesn't ent More...
0 comments
like
(1 person liked it)
Apr 16, 2010
Meghan
rated it:
Kind of a sad, quiet memoir that mixes in a good amount of pop science and analysis. Emily White has struggled with loneliness, and begins seriously researching it after reaching a low point while working as an attorney. While she seems like a nice, outwardly-successful person living in Toronto, she feels horribly alone and isolated. After studying loneliness in an academic and scientific way, she argues that loneliness is distinct from depression and grief, and that it has its own specific effe
More...
Sep 22, 2011
Jean
rated it: 
A fascinating and informative book about chronic loneliness, written by someone who has experienced it herself. White makes a convincing case that chronic loneliness is different from, though it might be accompanied by, depression.
She explores all modern research on the topic and discusses the questions as to whether loneliness might be a genetic trait as well as something created by our current society. White also debunks the notion that all lonely people need is to do is get out More...
She explores all modern research on the topic and discusses the questions as to whether loneliness might be a genetic trait as well as something created by our current society. White also debunks the notion that all lonely people need is to do is get out More...
Dec 03, 2011
Billie-jo
rated it:
This book changed my young life. While not extremely well-written, and a bit depressing and rambling at times, I am so thankful for a book that finally dives into the taboo topic of chronic and situational loneliness. I finally don't feel crazy anymore, and I have at least a glimmer of hope that it will go away one day. White's novel is funny, well-researched, and thorough when it comes to really describing what loneliness is, for she puts in words what I have been trying to tell people my entir
More...
Jul 31, 2010
Karen
rated it:
I marked this book as "read", but I stopped reading it around pg. 50. It's well written and I'm sure it would have picked up, but it was just the wrong time for me to be reading it. Obviously, it's a memoir about loneliness. But I guess I thought that it would be a bit more of a reflective, thoughtful approach to loneliness with background about her life to support it. But instead, I just found it to be a really depressing play-by-play of her being miserable every day. I'd like to
More...
May 18, 2011
Heather
rated it:
Where has this book been my entire life?? This book is nothing short of incredible. Someone has finally taken the time to examine loneliness and advocate for it to be considered a separate chronic condition from depression, although the two conditions often operate hand-in-hand. The most shocking revelation is how much loneliness can significantly shorten your lifespan. Page after page, I find myself underlining my common experience of loneliness with the author. As I read, there's both a se
More...
0 comments
like
(1 person liked it)
Aug 14, 2010
Idiosyncratic
rated it:
I found this book a slog - the type of book where you skim through paragraphs, trying to find something of interest/value in it. As someone who's interested in Jung, it struck me that what she was after is what Jungian James Hollis calls "the Magical Other" - the other being who will make everything seem OK, and make us feel whole/complete. Much of her autobiographical writing reflects, to me, that deep, painful yearning for the Magical Other - and, given that she ended up with someone
More...
Aug 08, 2010
Christy
rated it:
I saw this book and thought it would be a good, helpful read. Being that it is a memoir, it would have personal insight and reflection on loneliness. I expected it to be an informational read that would help me understand my own feelings of loneliness. After personal set-backs, loneliness is ever present, even with so much family and friends around. The book describes different types of loneliness: situational, emotional, and chronic, the major types that I took from the read.
The aut More...
The aut More...
Jun 05, 2010
Elizabeth
rated it:
I wanted to like her - I liked the book jacket, A Lot (which does not resemble the one pictured here - it is a silhouette of birds on a wire, like a black and white line drawing). But it seems to me that she is talking about alienation throughout this book, And Wallowing.
As a person who enjoys her solitude, I am become worried about the studies she cites which paint such a bleak picture for lone individuals!
As a person who enjoys her solitude, I am become worried about the studies she cites which paint such a bleak picture for lone individuals!
Aug 03, 2010
Emily
rated it:
This is more of a 3.5 stars rounded up to 4. The topic is important, and there are some lovely stylistic moments. One such as the way White initially omits being a lesbian from early chapters, comes out to the reader at the same narrative point as she comes out to her family. All this highlights the way loneliness remains such a difficult subject to discuss that she is able to articulate her sexuality to those around her but not her loneliness. Then there are more stilted portions that distract
More...
Apr 15, 2010
lucky lucy
rated it:
interesting theory that loneliness is a separate condition from depression. The loneliness condition is an inability to connect with others. Based on research, according to the author, loneliness has nothing to do with social skills as one might at first think. the majority of her research subjects were active, outgoing folks who in the middle of a group still felt the aloneless.
