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The Tower, The Zoo, and The Tortoise

3.57 of 5 stars 3.57 · rating details · 4,177 ratings · 1,115 reviews

Brimming with charm and whimsy, this exquisite novel set in the Tower of London has the transportive qualities and delightful magic of the contemporary classics Chocolat and Amélie.

Balthazar Jones has lived in the Tower of London with his loving wife, Hebe, and his 120-year-old pet tortoise for the past eight years. That’s right, he is a Beefeater (they really do live the...more

Hardcover, 320 pages

Published August 10th 2010 by Doubleday (first published 2010)

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Aug 09, 2010 The Chaotic Reader rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Everyone

Shelves: first-reads, favorites, literary-fiction

My review of The Tower, The Zoo, and The Tortoise is posted on The Chaotic Reader.

18 likes · like · see review

Mar 27, 2011 Lydia Presley rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011, favorites, fiction, contemporary

This book made me laugh out loud so many times that my sides began to hurt.

Normally I breeze through books quickly, but this one I savored, loving every minute of it. I'd heard that it was slow, and was dreading the slowing down of it, but I found it thoroughly and utterly delightful and so very, very British.

There are so many scenes in this book that were perfect, and the characters - man, the characters were fantastic. The scene with the urn arriving at Hebe's workplace, the Erotic Fiction wr...more

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Dec 08, 2010 Bill rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: fiction, lit-fiction, library-book

very few books actually make me laugh out loud but this one did.there is a very memorable cast of characters including a beefeater who collects rain,a woman who works in the london underground lost and found where people bring in things like a canoe, an inflatable sex doll and dustin hoffman's oscar trophy.there is also a chaplain who writes erotic fiction and a 181 year old tortoise.

like i said, it's very funny. but it's not all comedy.there's also sorrow,pain and joy...all the things that happ...more

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Aug 05, 2011 Connie rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book is utterly charming. It follows the rather glum but comic adventures of Balthazar Jones, a Tower of London beefeater, as he endeavors to be guardian of the queen's menagerie. Balthazar almost seems a tragic figure. His son, Milo, has died three years ago at age 11, and Balthazar is consumed by guilt that he may contributed to Milo's cardiac death by arguing with him about homework the night before the boy died. Unable to share this burden, Balthazar and his wife, Hebe, drift apart. She...more

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Jun 04, 2011 Rachel rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: fiction

This is a picturesque novel about the employees and residents of the present-day Tower of London, the city's largest tourist attraction. The story focuses on Beefeater Balthazar Jones and his wife Hebe, who live in the Salt Tower with their ancient pet tortoise Mrs. Cook and who are grieving the recent death of their young son Milo. As the story opens, Balthazar is appointed to open and manage a menagerie on Tower grounds of the animals given to the Queen by foreign heads of state. He oversees t...more This is a picturesque novel about the employees and residents of the present-day Tower of London, the city's largest tourist attraction. The story focuses on Beefeater Balthazar Jones and his wife Hebe, who live in the Salt Tower with their ancient pet tortoise Mrs. Cook and who are grieving the recent death of their young son Milo. As the story opens, Balthazar is appointed to open and manage a menagerie on Tower grounds of the animals given to the Queen by foreign heads of state. He oversees the transfer from the London Zoo of a group of penguins who go missing en route, some giraffes who were transferred by mistake, an albatross who begins to molt in mourning of being separated from his mate, a Komodo dragon, an assortment of possums, various parrots, an Etruscan shrew who suffers from crippling shyness, and a bearded pig whom Balthazar basically steals from the zoo just because he likes his looks. Meanwhile, his wife Hebe goes to her job at the London Underground's Lost and Found department, where she spends her days trying to reunite lost items with their owners and lying down in the unclaimed magician's box (the kind used for sawing assistants in half) when things get to be too much for her.

Mostly a comic novel, there's an undercurrent of sadness that runs throughout. The Reverend Septimus Drew pines for Ruby Dore, the barmaid of the Tower's Rack and Ruin pub who has recently learned that she's pregnant; Hebe's coworker Valerie and the ticket inspector Arthur Catnip love each other from afar but both too tentative to do much about it; the Ravenmaster suffers an unhappy marriage and various affairs; and Mrs. Cook the tortoise is tormented by the crows. But mainly it's Balthazar and Hebe, who in their grief over their son become isolated from each other and cope in their own ways, Balthazar by collecting rain samples and Hebe by trying to find the owner of an urn of cremated remains that was left on one of the Underground lines, until things come to a quiet head on Milo's birthday.

I liked this book, but a lot of the characters were underdeveloped. It's a relatively short novel, so some of the subplots didn't get much attention and although Stuart tied up all the loose ends, some of it felt a little perfunctory. But it was a decent light read, and I liked it enough that I would read other things by the same author. (less)

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Apr 20, 2013 Regina Lindsey rated it 3 of 5 stars

The Tower, The Zoo, and The Tortoise by Julia Stuart
3.5 Stars rounded to a 3

Set in modern day London, the Queen has decided to resurrect the Royal Menagerie and has asked Balthazar Jones , Beefeater in the Tower, to oversee the project. Balthazar is Her Majesty’s obvious choice since “She is aware that you are in possession of the world’s oldest specimen, which, of course, is a source of great national pride. Such an animal undoubtedly requires the most tender care.” The specimen is a tail-less...more The Tower, The Zoo, and The Tortoise by Julia Stuart
3.5 Stars rounded to a 3

Set in modern day London, the Queen has decided to resurrect the Royal Menagerie and has asked Balthazar Jones , Beefeater in the Tower, to oversee the project. Balthazar is Her Majesty’s obvious choice since “She is aware that you are in possession of the world’s oldest specimen, which, of course, is a source of great national pride. Such an animal undoubtedly requires the most tender care.” The specimen is a tail-less tortoise named Mrs. Cook. The impetus for the resurrection is the hopeful revival of interest in the Tower by tourists. But, Balthazar is more than an animal whisperer, he, and the rest of the cast, are well drawn characters, in the truest sense of that word, living life that may be similar to yours. A once well -grounded marriage, “I’ve pitied every man I’ve ever met for not being married to her,” is now falling apart after the loss of the only child, others are pursuing love for the first time, some are chasing alternate careers in private, friendships are strained, and many of the residents at the Tower feel a sense of loneliness. I also thought Stuart did a good job of relating the history of the Beefeaters and the original menagerie.

I would not classify this as a laugh out loud book. It is full of wit and dry humor, appropriate for a novel set in the UK. There are definitely times the reader will smile, and smile big, like when reading about the questions the public poses to the Beefeaters during tours of the Tower and at the absurdity of items (a kidney, an inflatable doll, a glass eye, an urn of ashes, etc) left in the Tube and eventually reunited with the rightful owners through the Lost and Found department of the Tube. In addition to the ridiculous items, each item has an endearing story of its own. What is commendable is Stuart’s ability to write and evoke a range of emotions. On the surface the stories may seem silly. The characters are definitely quirky. But, underneath the wit, the reader is treated to a story of how heartbreak can heal.

I rated it a three because I thought it was GOOD but I never really connected to the characters. I wasn't emotionally invested in the way it ended. I also think I particularly enjoyed it because I just returned from London and after taking the Beefeater tour thought it was a bit of a sanitized tour. The book reinforced that.(less)

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Dec 19, 2012 Richard rated it 2 of 5 stars

Rating: 2* of five

The Book Description: Brimming with charm and whimsy, this exquisite novel set in the Tower of London has the transportive qualities and delightful magic of the contemporary classicsChocolatand Amélie.

Balthazar Jones has lived in the Tower of London with his loving wife, Hebe, and his 120-year-old pet tortoise for the past eight years. That’s right, he is a Beefeater (they really do live there). It’s no easy job living and working in the tourist attraction in present-day Londo...more

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Nov 07, 2012 Melissa rated it 4 of 5 stars

Balthazar Jones is a Beefeater (Yeoman Warder) who lives and works at the Tower of London. He and his wife Hebe lost their only son, Milo, a few years before the book begins. Trapped in a cycle of grief, the two struggle to understand what’s happened and how they can go on living without their child.

Stuart manages to temper the heartbreak in this story with a sweet humor and quiet devotion. Hebe works in the London Underground's Lost Property Office and spends her days reuniting people with thi...more Balthazar Jones is a Beefeater (Yeoman Warder) who lives and works at the Tower of London. He and his wife Hebe lost their only son, Milo, a few years before the book begins. Trapped in a cycle of grief, the two struggle to understand what’s happened and how they can go on living without their child.

Stuart manages to temper the heartbreak in this story with a sweet humor and quiet devotion. Hebe works in the London Underground's Lost Property Office and spends her days reuniting people with things they’ve lost, yet ironically she can do nothing to get back what she’s lost.

It’s not a book that pulls you in with the first paragraph, instead the characters grow on you and you find yourself rooting for them. I recognized their flaws and struggles and could identify with some of their pain. In one section Hebe is discussing her son’s death with someone and says this…

"I can't imagine what you've been through," he said.

"Some people think they can," she said. "You'd be surprised how many bring up the death of their pet."

As absurd as that sounds, I’ve had people do that to me on multiple occasions!

I think that the book could have done without some of the subplots. I never felt attached to the Rev. Setimus Drew, his love interest Ruby the barmaid or the Ravenmaster. I think their stories hindered the main plot up unnecessarily. There were just too many different threads and those could easily be axed.

I did enjoy Hebe’s coworker Valerie Jennings and her budding relationship with Arthur Catnip. They provided a good balance to the Joneses tragedy.

The title refers to the Queen’s decision to reopen the Royal Menagerie at the Tower of London. Balthazar is put in charge of corralling all of the animals and, of course, chaos ensues. This plot feels very secondary to Balthazar’s relationship with his wife. Their estrangement is what grounds the whimsical elements in the book.

Hebe and Balthazar made this book worthwhile in my opinion. I loved reading about their past, their son and their frustration. I would recommend this and am curious to see what Stuart comes up with next.

“There was a pause during which the two strangers held on to each other through the silence.”(less)

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Sep 17, 2012 Katie Herring rated it 4 of 5 stars

It took me a couple of chapters to really get into the story.

I only continued reading because the writing was beautiful.
Some of the sentences that really got to me were as follows: "And for the rest of the evening the air in the Salt Tower was so fragile that they spoke to each other as if the place were filled with a million fluttering butterflies that neither dared disturbed." "No matter how often she opened her bedroom window, never once had she been touched by the moonlight of love." "...b...more

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Jun 25, 2012 Pamela Barrett rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Set in modern-day London, inside the Tower of London, we meet Balthazar Jones who is a Beefeater (the official guardians of the Tower of London). He and his fellow Beefeaters give tours and answer questions about the history of the fortress. Not only do they act as tour guides but their families live there as well, and Balthazar lives there with his beautiful Greek wife Hebe, and a 120 year old tortoise named Mrs. Cook. Hebe has an interesting job too, working in the London Underground Lost Prop...more

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Jun 07, 2012 Ttippip added it

Spoiler!!!!

This book starts with a series of three vignettes. 1. The Tower, 2. The Zoo, 3. Tortoise. These vignettes create an ambiance for the main part of the book entitled, "Where did I leave my jacket?" It is a very difficult read if you are unintelligent, but since I have recently acquired my masters, I am qualified to explain to EVERYONE!!! So I will.

The Tower
Referring to the Tower piece in chess, this vignette depicts a game of chess. Urban Dictionary describes chess as: A game where the...more Spoiler!!!!

This book starts with a series of three vignettes. 1. The Tower, 2. The Zoo, 3. Tortoise. These vignettes create an ambiance for the main part of the book entitled, "Where did I leave my jacket?" It is a very difficult read if you are unintelligent, but since I have recently acquired my masters, I am qualified to explain to EVERYONE!!! So I will.

The Tower
Referring to the Tower piece in chess, this vignette depicts a game of chess. Urban Dictionary describes chess as: A game where the objective is to violently throw your pieces to the floor upon losing. However, Urban Dictionary also describes chess as: Foreplay, followed by sexual intercourse. Example: Would you like to play chess with me tonight? The author is clearly using the second definition, while talking about the first definition, and all the while trying to pretend like it isn't a big deal. The point basically is to remember to "protect your tower."

The Zoo
Referring to the orphanage for animals, this vignette is slightly scarier than the first, but only slightly, and not even actually scary at that, it is just scarier than the first. Urban dictionary describes zoo as: Short for zoophile, which means one who has a deep emotional attraction to animals and may prefer them to a human as a companion/sexual partner. Different from bestialists in that they have compassion for the animal.
Example: Chris is a zoo; he even brought his dog with him to Wendy's. This is not what the author was getting at, but still a fascinating concept. Basically this section is about a guy goes to the zoo and hates it.

The Tortoise
Now this is where the story gets juicy. Basically... A rabbit races a tortoise and losses. BORING! I wanted them to have a WWF smack down, or for them to fight like in kung fu panda, but noooo, they just had a boring race that the rabbit obviously didn't care about because he lost.

Where did I leave my jacket?
I'm getting tired of typing about this crap, so blah blah blah. The guy eventually finds his jacket. The End!(less)

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Apr 26, 2012 Nancy Brisson rated it 4 of 5 stars

Amusing – this book is sweet and amusing. The Tower, the Zoo and the Tortoise by Julia Stuart is a story of loss, a story of accidental rescue, and a story of love. Hebe and Balthazar Jones lost their young son, Milo, the light of their lives. Now they avoid each other because the sorrow and guilt are too great and they go through the motions of life. They arise and dress each day and go to their jobs. Doesn’t sound very amusing, does it?

However these two have jobs that are anything but ordinary...more Amusing – this book is sweet and amusing. The Tower, the Zoo and the Tortoise by Julia Stuart is a story of loss, a story of accidental rescue, and a story of love. Hebe and Balthazar Jones lost their young son, Milo, the light of their lives. Now they avoid each other because the sorrow and guilt are too great and they go through the motions of life. They arise and dress each day and go to their jobs. Doesn’t sound very amusing, does it?

However these two have jobs that are anything but ordinary and they are the kind of people who try to do their jobs, who have a sense of responsibility. Not only do they have unusual jobs but because of Balthazar’s job they live in a very unlikely place. They live in the Tower of London, which is really an area populated by a number of towers, all at one time or another, jails. Balthazar is a Beefeater; he works for the Queen of England. It is his job to dress up in one of those red uniforms and show tourists around the tower grounds spouting history, a job he used to love before he lost Milo. Now his depression is causing him to be less than enthusiastic.

Hebe, Balthazar’s wife, works in the “lost and found” office of the London Underground where everyday new objects that were lost or abandoned by riders are brought in by employees of the Tube or by citizens who find these amazingly inexplicable objects. Although Hebe likes her job she does not find the Towers a hospitable place to live. All the dampness and chill, all the ghosts of historical people who had stayed in the Towers before being tortured, hung, or beheaded, are not attributes to feed the domestic spirit in a housewife and mom. She still misses their old house and resents Balthazar for making them move, and, because Milo died at the Towers, blames her husband for her grief and loss. Milo, on the other hand, loved the Towers as did Mrs. Cook, the family’s ancient tortoise.

When the Queen decides to house some her exotic menagerie at the Towers and to put Balthazar in charge events unravel and are eventually re-knit, order is restored through entertaining chaos. Brits apparently enjoy eccentricity and, in this case, I found the eccentricity of the characters and the setting charming also, and quite satisfying.

(less)

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Mar 10, 2012 Elizabeth of Silver's Reviews rated it 4 of 5 stars

Beefeaters, London, animals, and eccentric, endearing characters make up this book. It is somewhat disconnected in its entirety concerning the numerous characters, but the British humor and the silliness kept me reading.

You will meet Balthazar Jones and his wife Hebe who live in the Tower of London and who are in charge of the Tower....Balthazar is a Beefeater who became the keeper of the animals that had been gifts to the Queen. Hebe works in the London Underground Lost Property Office. She and...more

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Feb 23, 2012 Paul rated it 4 of 5 stars

A Beefeater at the Tower of London and his wife, a clerk at the London Underground Lost Property Office, deal with the loss of their son, and its impact on their marriage. The overriding theme of love is simplistic at times, but beautifully painful at other points, and well-used. Hebe's job in the Lost Property Office is a clever plot device, and though its cleverness is not terribly subtle, it never feels overused.

The author's repeated use of identical descriptions is interesting. It was never...more

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Jan 29, 2012 Nesa Sivagnanam rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

The queen, has decided to move her collection of exotic animals, gifted by foreign leaders, from London Zoo to the Tower of London in a bid to boost visitor numbers.

This, as beefeater Balthazar Jones discovers, is not without precedent - the Tower has been home to menageries of varying sizes for much of its history since the Middle Ages.

But this is the 21st century and the community of beefeaters who live in the Tower's maze of buildings, working largely as tour guides, are less than impressed w...more

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Dec 28, 2011 Summer rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: europe, comedy

This is a story of Balthazar Jones and the life surrounding him as a Beefeater in the Tower. His life is really a soggy mess, as is everyone else's who inhabits the haunted Tower. Then one day he is informed that the Queen is leaving him the care of her Royal Menagerie. This soon to be chaos added to the priest that writes erotic fiction, the ghosts, the lost penguins, the numerous sad love stories, the lost Oscar, the sarcophagus, the lovesick Albatross, the collection of rain samples and the n...more

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Dec 15, 2011 Marsha rated it 3 of 5 stars

A quirky, well written book with a ton of interesting facts about the Tower of London woven into the story. The main character is Balthazar Jones, a Beefeater (proper title is Yeoman Warder of Her Majesty's Royal Palace and Fortress the Tower of London, and Member of the Sovereign's Body Guard of the Yeoman Guard Extraordinary), so called for the daily ration of meat they received way back when for their duties. He and his wife, Hebe (who is one of two employees at the London Underground's Depar...more

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Oct 31, 2011 Katie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Another quirky book, I really enjoyed this novel. It’s sweet and sad and funny. It takes place in London, at the Tower of England, in contemporary times. Balthazar Jones (he, like every character in the book, is always referred to by his first and last name) is a Beefeater at the Tower. He lives there with his wife and the ghost of his young son, who we know died, but we’re not sure how (until much later in the book). Balthazar and his wife, Hebe, are sad and lonely. The death of the son is like...more

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Mar 09, 2011 Louise rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: literature-fiction

The engrossing story of a Beefeater, otherwise known as Yeoman Warder Balthazar Jones. He lives in the Tower of London with his wife, Hebe, but they are grieving over Milo, the son they lost and their own marriage which is falling apart. The other occupants of the Tower include: a prize-winning Priest who secretly writes pornography under an alias, another Beefeater ‘Ravenmaster’ who is cheating on his wife, and Mrs. Cook, a 181 year old tortoise. There are other animals living at the Tower and...more

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Dec 07, 2010 Alins rated it 5 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Everybody knows about the Beefeaters in the Tower of London, of course, but it's unlikely you ever knew one personally. In this light- hearted novel you will meet the denizens of the Tower: Beefeater or Yeoman of the Tower Balthazar Jones along with his Greek wife, Hebe, are barely holding on to a marriage gone stale.

We are introduced to the Reverend Septimus Drew, the Tower parson, who secretly pens erotic novels under the pen name Vivienne Ventriss. We meet Ruby Dore, the sexy barmaid of the T...more Everybody knows about the Beefeaters in the Tower of London, of course, but it's unlikely you ever knew one personally. In this light- hearted novel you will meet the denizens of the Tower: Beefeater or Yeoman of the Tower Balthazar Jones along with his Greek wife, Hebe, are barely holding on to a marriage gone stale.

We are introduced to the Reverend Septimus Drew, the Tower parson, who secretly pens erotic novels under the pen name Vivienne Ventriss. We meet Ruby Dore, the sexy barmaid of the Tower's pub Rack and Ruin, who was born "slithering" on to a kitchen floor because the resident Tower doctor would not leave his Monopoly game at a crucial moment in play to attend the crucial moment upstairs. And there's the black-gloved villain, the Ravenmaster, who looks after his flock of vicious black birds, one of which recently sent a tourist to the hospital when the unfortunate man tried to pet the bird. And there's Arthur Catnip, the Ticket Master and his voluptuous girlfriend Valerie...

Hebe Jones works at the London Underground Lost Property Office and tries to unite the careless public with their left-behind objects which include, along with hundreds of umbrellas, a kidney transplant, an urn of ashes labeled "Clementine Perkins" and a yellow canoe.

We cannot overlook Mrs. Cook, the 180 year old tortoise belonging to Balthazar Jones and who lost her tail to one of the ravens. We briefly meet in retrospect the Jones' little boy Milo, who dies at age eleven and with him dies the spirit of the marriage, only dregs are left. At this point in time there really aren't any happy campers among the Tower personnel, trapped inside those ancient circular walls.

Elizabeth II has arrived at a momentous decision: all the exotic creatures constantly being more or less dumped on her royal head would be housed at the Tower, which had been used as a menagerie for centuries. There isn't any enthusiasm behind Tower walls over this bombshell of the Queen's but who are they to resist the will of the Monarch? However, Hebe Jones finds the menagerie the last straw, packs a bag and leaves her husband who has been hand-picked to be the reluctant director of this latter day Noah's Ark. Even old Mrs. Cook the tortoise, disappears.

But they learn something from the animals foisted upon them, these human denizens of the Tower."The softness of the reclusive ringtail possums who fall asleep in their arms"; the albatross who has lost his mate and is mourning; the bearded pig who chases a grapefruit around like a soccer ball; the Jesus Christ lizards who can walk on water and even the little Etruscan shrew with his velvet nose. The animals, who all need care, take the humans out of themselves and thinking instead about the welfare of the various critters in their charge.

True love will find a way over rocky roads and thorn thickets. Will Hebe come back? Will Mrs Cook find her way home? Don't miss this heart-warming tale, written with great charm, in which the spirit of the little boy Milo weaves the story together and brings it to a close. (less)

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Oct 21, 2010 Denise rated it 4 of 5 stars

The Tower, the Zoo, and the Tortoise (couldn't it have been given a better title?!) opens with Balthazar Jones, a guard in the Tower of London, and his wife Hebe. They have suffered a tragedy and no longer get any pleasure out of living in the Tower with its gruesome history and quirky daily life. Then Balthazar is ordered to resurrect the Tower's zoo and everything changes. The story is packed with side plots including a priest who moonlights as a racy author, a pregnant barmaid, and the gossip...more

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Oct 10, 2010 Abigail Beckwith rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: fiction, quirky

Balthazar Jones has lived in the Tower of London with his loving wife, Hebe, and his 120-year-old pet tortoise for the past eight years. Balthazar works a tour guide for the tower of London, while Hebe works at the bureau of lost things for the London Underground. This makes for a great setting. There is a Reverend who writes romantic novels, a ghost, etc. You can tell these are quirky characters, so if that's what you're into... I was mostly into it but did think it was odd that Balthazar colle...more

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Oct 05, 2010 Kathleen rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: fiction

I picked this book up because of the promising comparisons to Guerney Literary & Potato Peel Society and Chocolat on the front cover. While it certainly had promising underlying ideas (all detailed on said cover, even revealing plot points not discovered until one or two hundred pages in!), the writing itself was partially too concerned with details and partially not concerned enough with tone. In fact, I believe it's the tone of the whole book that really brought it down for me. The compari...more

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Sep 14, 2010 Lynda rated it 5 of 5 stars

The title of this novel could have been so much longer. Author, Julia Stuart, could have entitled it: The Tower, The Zoo, The Tortoise, The Beefeater, The Quirky, The Son, The Loved, The Lost, The Found, The Reverend, The Ravenmaster, The Hopeful and The Grieving. Yes, that title would have been way too long. So, I understand Ms. Stuart’s shortened version. Rather than giving the reader all that information in the title she instead unfolds this material to the reader slowly and gently, using str...more

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Aug 23, 2010 Cameling rated it 3 of 5 stars

A Beefeater at the Tower of London with an obsessive interest in collecting rain specimens in Egyptian glass bottles is now called upon to look after a new royal menagerie. Foreign dignitaries have at times made presents of exotic animals found in their countries to the Queen of England. They're usually kept at the London Zoo, but following the death of one gift, leading to an offended Ambassador, the Queen decided that it might be better to have these specially gifted animals under closer care,...more

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Aug 15, 2010 Amy rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: arcs-or-review-copy

"...for the rest of the evening the air in the Salt Tower was so fragile that they spoke to each other as if the place were filled with a million fluttering butterflies that neither dared to disturb."

"Hebe Jones ran a hand along the bed sheet that had been a weding present all those years ago. But it failed to find her husband."

You might recognize an older bearded gentleman dressed in a Victorian uniform of red tights, dark blue breeches, matching tunic, and the classic white ruffle around the n...more

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Mar 15, 2013 Sheri rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: male-female-power-sex-attractivenes

I am feeling generous by not giving this book a 1 star rating. It really is just a sappy love story that has hardly any redeeming qualities.

First, the language is just overbearing. She tries to be either cutesy or smart and it just falls flat to me: "She then hunted around, searching amongst the rubble of their relationship for past hurts that she held up again in front of him. Balthazar Jones responded in kind, taking her examiner's torch and shining it on ancient grievances. No shadow was left...more

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Oct 18, 2012 Jeannie and Louis Rigod rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This work of fiction is so well written that you begin to believe it is a true story. Combining the history of the Tower of London with a modern 'what if?' is brilliantly done by Ms. Stuart.

The premise is 'What if' the tower once again opened the menagerie of exotic animal 'gifts' to the Queen? It is a simple question, but this book has you crying, laughing out loud, sympathizing with romantically challenge persons and more.

The story follows the Yeoman Warder (Beefeater,) Balthazar Jones, as he...more

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Sep 21, 2011 Rebecca rated it 3 of 5 stars

The Tower, The Zoo, and The Tortoise is a story about a Beefeater (one of the guards at the Tower of London), his wife, the other residents of the Tower, and the exotic animals that briefly take up residence at the Tower (including an adorable Etruscan shrew). In their own ways, each of the characters is trying to find (or recover) love, and it all takes place against the backdrop of the death of the Beefeater's son, the subsequent corrosion of his marriage, and his new role as the keeper of the...more The Tower, The Zoo, and The Tortoise is a story about a Beefeater (one of the guards at the Tower of London), his wife, the other residents of the Tower, and the exotic animals that briefly take up residence at the Tower (including an adorable Etruscan shrew). In their own ways, each of the characters is trying to find (or recover) love, and it all takes place against the backdrop of the death of the Beefeater's son, the subsequent corrosion of his marriage, and his new role as the keeper of the royal menagerie, a task that starts off as a burden, but eventually develops into a higher purpose.

Told in a simple, direct style, this book reminded me a lot of Alexander McCall Smith's No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency series. Like that series, the book is equal parts pathos and humor, with whimsical characters and situations that give a good sense of local color. In both this book and the No. 1 Ladies' series, I got a strong sense that the action was taking place in the past (even though both narrative worlds take place in the present day), primarily because people's daily lives move at a more measured, thoughtful pace than my own life or the life of anyone I know. I'm guessing it's a cultural difference between Botswana/England and America. The most charming thing about stories like this is how they make you feel nostalgic for that slower pace, the unhurried way that people would write letters, make tea, think about their problems one-by-one (no one in these worlds ever makes a to-do list), and take care of the people around them.

I wouldn't want to spend too much time in these types of worlds, because after a while they can seem too narrow and simplistic, but they're a good retreat and a nice reminder that we don't necessarily have to (and shouldn't) live at the whim of our electronic devices, pulled in a thousand different directions by all our projects and tasks. Sometimes it's nice just to make a cup of tea and think about one problem at a time...the beauty of solo-tasking.(less)

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Nov 25, 2010 Jenny J rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: fiction, first-reads

Thanks to the GoodReads First Reads program for sending me a copy, but I have to admit, this book just didn't quite work for me.

The Tower, the Zoo, and the Tortoise tells the story of a Beefeater (or Yeoman Warder) named Balthazar Jones, who lives and guards the Tower of London, and his fading relationship with his wife Hebe after the loss of their son. This is the story of love in bloom at the London Underground's Department of Lost Things. And this is the story of the Queen's menagerie that Ba...more

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About Julia Stuart

Julia Stuart grew up in the West Midlands in England. She studied French and Spanish, and lived for a short period in France and Spain teaching English. After studying journalism at college, she worked on regional newspapers for six years. She then became a staff features writer for The Independent, where she worked for eight years, including a spell with The Independent on Sunday. In 2007, she re...more

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“For he was firmly of the conviction that the body was more susceptible to disease without the presence of love to warm the organs.” — 3 people liked it

“Standing at the original Victorian counter was a man in a long black leather coat. His hair had been grown to counteract its unequivocal retreat from the top of his head, and was fashioned into a mean, frail ponytail that hung limply down his back. Blooms of acne highlighted his vampire-white skin.” — 2 people liked it

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