Bringing Up Girls: Practical Advice And Encouragement For Those Shaping The Next Generation Of Women by James C. Dobson

Nov 08, 2010 Skylar Burris rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: parenting, sexuality, sociology

Despite its subtitle, this book has remarkably little practical advice to offer on raising girls and is considerably more discouraging than encouraging. "Bringing Up Girls" is primarily a social commentary on the decadence of modern society, the ill effects of feminism, and the challenges facing girls. As a social commentary, it profusely quotes other (often superior) social commentaries I have already read, including the writings of Wendy Shalit, Dr. Grossman, and Michelle Malkin. There is scar...more Despite its subtitle, this book has remarkably little practical advice to offer on raising girls and is considerably more discouraging than encouraging. "Bringing Up Girls" is primarily a social commentary on the decadence of modern society, the ill effects of feminism, and the challenges facing girls. As a social commentary, it profusely quotes other (often superior) social commentaries I have already read, including the writings of Wendy Shalit, Dr. Grossman, and Michelle Malkin. There is scarce original material in this book; Dr. Dobson’s direct quotes sometimes run as long as three full pages, and occasionally he even quotes himself at length (inserting large blocks of text from other books or articles he has written). There are pages and pages of transcripts from radio broadcasts and discussions with teenage girls, which can become quite tedious.

What practical advice he does offer is primarily focused on self-esteem and a girl’s need for affirmation of her physical beauty, as if a girl’s sole concern is and always will be to attract boys. There is very little about a girl’s need to have her intelligence or her talents praised, about academic concerns or challenges facing girls, about the intellectual education of girls in general, about helping girls to discern their vocations, about raising a girl, indeed, to have any deep personal interest beyond that of a girlfriend, wife, or mother. Not that the calling of a wife and mother isn’t significant and honorable, and not that I haven’t pursued those roles myself, but not every woman will become a wife, not every wife will become a mother, and not every wife and a mother will be solely a wife and a mother. There were times when, for me, Dobson’s traditionalism (with which I am okay) seemed to cross over into chauvinism (with which I am not okay).

Perhaps it is only Dr. Dobson’s frequently condescending tone (complemented by an excessive use of exclamation points) that leads me to think his views border on chauvinism. One early passage caused me to shake my head. Dr. Dobson is talking about how we need to teach our little girl manners, such as where to place silverware, to put a napkin in her lap, not to talk with her mouth full, and not to belch or pick her teeth at the table. He then says, “Although I am not an expert in teaching girls some of the social graces I have named (I learned a masculine version of the rules), I know them when I see them.” So, dear Doctor, do tell, what precisely is the *masculine version* of not belching at the table? Do men place the napkin on their heads? I mean, I understand you do not think a boy would ever need to be taught where to place the silverware, since he must always expect to have a woman in his life, whether wife or mother, to wait upon him, but surely the *masculine version* of not picking one’s teeth at the dinner table cannot be too terribly different from the *feminine version* of not picking one’s teeth at the dinner table?

Dr. Dobson does frequently site statistics to support his assertions, but if you are fairly well read on the topics he discusses, you may often note his very selective use of studies. There are also times when he offers no hard data at all to support his assertions. For example, he says sleepovers should be a thing of the past because pedophilia and molestation are so much more common today than they used to be. Yet he doesn’t actually marshal any hard statistics to back this claim of rampant pedophilia. In fact, there was a substantial decline in child molestation cases in the 1990’s. Instead of noting this positive news, however, Dr. Dobson trots out the old cliché that the world has changed and become more dangerous and that it just isn’t as safe as it was when we were kids. Indeed, quite a bit of what he says in this book seems to feed the parental culture of fear that has contributed to the modern trend of helicopter parenting. There’s a lot of doom and gloom about the state of society, but not as much practical advice as there is warning.

The evangelical preoccupation with sex shines through in this book. Don’t get me wrong – I’m all for teaching my daughter the virtue of chastity and self-respect and the danger of dressing like a Bratz doll and getting fall-down drunk at a frat party. I’m not talking about that – I’m talking about this near-obsession with the potential danger of anything in any way related to sex.

Dobson moves from sex-related concern to sex-related concern in “Bringing Up Girls.” He repeatedly expresses horror at the idea of a girl taking the initiative in a romantic relationship (i.e. asking a boy on a date or making it known that she is interested in him); he suggests that fathers are going to feel awkward because of their “involuntary attraction” to their “developed” adolescent daughters but that they ought to hug them plenty anyway; he insists that a mom not let her daughter’s friend sleep over while only her husband is at home because even though “the motives” of her husband are “probably” honorable, “the potential for danger is just TOO great”; he rules out entirely the possibility of a teenage boy ever babysitting another child because “there is so much going on sexually within males at that age”; and he describes puberty as a time of constant and overwhelming hormonal crisis with ”additional dangers for early maturing girls”.

At least he doesn’t seem nearly as concerned that you might do something that contributes to turning your daughter into a lesbian as he was that your parenting failures might turn your son gay in “Bringing up Boys.” In “Bringing up Girls,” he’s less concerned about the threat of homosexuality and more concerned that you might turn your daughter into a heterosexual young woman who doesn’t wait patiently and silently by the phone.

Despite being an evangelical Christian in charge of a Christian organization, Dr. Dobson inserts Christianity toward the end of his book almost as an afterthought. He seems far more concerned with promoting social and moral conservatism than with promoting the Gospel. (I am reminded of what C.S. Lewis had to say about people using the Gospel as a means to some other end.)

Dobson does make some good points, such as that fathers should affirm their girls and be a regularly involved part of their lives, that it’s not good for girls, psychologically speaking, to be treated like (and to see other girls treated like) a hunk of meat, and that one should keep an eye on their kids' use of technology (the best chapter of the book, which was not written by Dobson at all, but by another member of Focus on the Family). Of course, I’m not sure I needed to read an entire book by Dr. Dobson to be made aware of any of these things, all of which are discussed extensively elsewhere. There are some sections in this book I do think dads should read because of their insight into the challenges girls (specifcially) face and their encouragement to fathers to be deeply involved in the lives of their girls.
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Aug 08, 2012 Dana rated it 2 of 5 stars

I wanted to like this book a lot. But it fell short of my expectations. I do like Dobson and have participated in some of his child development/ discipline/ instructing children studies. The strength of the book is in the data and information about the cultural landscape our daughters face and how they can and will be affected by media, promiscuity, etc, but there is not a great deal of practical advice. More like "keep your eyes open" parents.

I prayed that God would show me what to glean from t...more

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Mar 30, 2012 Heidi rated it 3 of 5 stars

I wanted to like this book more than I did. I'm not a huge Dobson fan, for various reasons, but he's at his best when he sticks to child develoment issues. That is, after all, where he is educated and has his professional experience. The book is the strongest when it is giving the physiological background for why girls behave the way they do at different ages, and some of the tips on how to help your daughter through difficult transitions are very useful. It is, in a way, written more for dads t...more

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Dec 21, 2010 Stephen Escalera rated it 3 of 5 stars

When it comes to family psychology, there is perhaps no other name more well known among conservative evangelicals than Dr. James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family. Ten years after publishing his popular book on parenting boys, Dobson has penned the companion book, Bringing Up Girls. In it, Dobson offers advice and insight from a clearly conservative viewpoint. Speaking mainly to fathers, Dobson addresses issues such as femininity, beauty, sex, bullying, education and purity. Much of the bo...more When it comes to family psychology, there is perhaps no other name more well known among conservative evangelicals than Dr. James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family. Ten years after publishing his popular book on parenting boys, Dobson has penned the companion book, Bringing Up Girls. In it, Dobson offers advice and insight from a clearly conservative viewpoint. Speaking mainly to fathers, Dobson addresses issues such as femininity, beauty, sex, bullying, education and purity. Much of the book addresses the physiological and psychological make up of "the fairer sex."

The chapters that I appreciated the most were, oddly enough, the ones in which Dobson does relatively little talking. One such chapter is devoted to young women talking about the things they remember - whether good or bad - about the fathers. Reading about the profound impact of even the smallest things that their fathers had done impressed on me the importance of fathers in the lives of their daughters. It is to this point that Dobson returns continually throughout the book and with good reason. He quotes many statistical studies that emphasis the importance of fathers.

Another such chapter that was helpful and very practical was the contribution by Bob Waliszewski, director of Focus on the Family's Plugged In department in which he offers advice on "protecting your daughter from invasive technology." He encourages parents to be involved in and aware of the media activity that their daughters are involved in (including but certainly not limited to the Internet). He lists "Ten practical steps every parent should take" in how to "train up your daughter to plot a safe course through today's entertainment and technological land mines." These steps include "teach the WWJD [what would Jesus do?] principle," "instill media-related biblical principles," "model it", "develop a written family media covenant," and encouraging accountability with a friend.

While most of the book was somewhat informative on the psychological level, I found it to be lacking in practicality. Additionally, Dobson's conservatism constantly came across as overblown hype, decrying the decadent culture in which we live. While our modern culture is most assuredly headed in the wrong direction, it seems that Dobson can't help but highlight the most discouraging and depressing aspects of it, even while attempting to point out "the good news." He often seems to go overboard in denouncing things that aren't necessarily wrong, but that he simply doesn't like.

Lastly, it should be pointed out that while Dobson dedicates his last chapter to teaching the gospel and Scriptures, this addition seems almost like an afterthought or just an extra safeguard to help parents. The emphasis of the power of the gospel in all our lives including parenting is missing, but I'm not sure whether I should have expected more in this area from Dobson. This book should not be read as coming from the standpoint of Scripture, but rather from the standpoint of moral and social conservativism.

While the book has some merits to it especially for dads, I feel like there are other books that are more worthwhile to read on this subject.

(Thanks to Tyndale House Publishers for providing a review copy of this book.) (less)

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May 27, 2010 Laura rated it 4 of 5 stars

Title: BRINGING UP GIRLS
Author: James C. Dobson, Ph.D.
Publisher: Tyndale
May 2010
ISBN: 978-1-4143-0127-3
Genre: Inspirational/nonfiction/parenting

At long last, the author of Bringing Up Boys has written a companion guide for those of us who have girls. Dr. Dobson said he was asked for years to write this book, but he doesn’t go into why he didn’t write the book earlier. Just that it took a long time to write.

Our daughters face so many things, such as peer pressure, eating disorders, decisions abo...more

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Mar 30, 2013 Colene Hardy rated it 1 of 5 stars

I'm a collector of parental literature. I love being a parent and I love the scientific method. There are answers to most of our problems in books, including those we run into with our babies. So I read multiple books and try multiple methods until I find something that works for me and for my daughters. This book, however, was God-awful (pun intended). Didn't finish it. So much of what he says annoys me. And his harping on sex, sex, sex is bothersome too. Super chauvinistic. I wish someone had...more

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May 27, 2012 Sarah rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: christian-non-fiction, christianity, i-own-this, motherhood, raising-girls, religion, review-books, tyndale

I’ve been wanting to read this book since it was released and now that I’ve read it I’m glad that I did. I’m not going to say that I agree with everything in this book – Dr. Dobson seems to think dating is the only way a girl is going to meet her future husband, but this is only going to lead to heartache and having different pieces of her heart being given away before she truly marries. There is a lot of good information in this book, and to me it doesn’t matter if Dr. Dobson quotes other sourc...more I’ve been wanting to read this book since it was released and now that I’ve read it I’m glad that I did. I’m not going to say that I agree with everything in this book – Dr. Dobson seems to think dating is the only way a girl is going to meet her future husband, but this is only going to lead to heartache and having different pieces of her heart being given away before she truly marries. There is a lot of good information in this book, and to me it doesn’t matter if Dr. Dobson quotes other sources or not, the information needs to be given out and I know I personally don’t have the time to read every, single book he mentions so having it condensed into one book is a huge and valuable time saver for me.

As a conservative Christian I do understand the importance of bringing up my girls to be pure, modest and chaste. This may seem old fashioned to the world at large, but so many girls are falling into depression, self mutilation, as well as heartache by giving their hearts to one boy after another, giving their bodies to boy after boy and chasing them – girls have become the aggressors and Dr. Dobson points out exactly why this isn’t good for girls and for boys. The importance of having a dad who is Christian and is there for them is stressed – dads shouldn’t back off when their daughters are turning into young ladies – because they need them all the more. I appreciate the candidness of the answers Dr. Dobson gives to parents such as a sleep over with female friend when only the dad is home – he says of course that it’s a bad idea. This is so true, my husband has seen first hand what a false accusation can do when a co-worker was accused by his step-daughter, one cannot take their reputation or their family’s safety for granted.

Some of the writing is common sense, such as the rise of pedophilia, but it isn’t done in a way that would scare the reader, in fact it just backed up everything I’ve already known, from studying social work, being involved in the mental health arena – most of what he said wasn’t new to me but was still an eye opener. As a victim of bullying I know the damage that is done, both in private and public schools, there are some, like me, who overcame it and no longer let the victimization live on but there are others whose lives are ruined because of long term bullying that isn’t stopped.

Overall, I think this is a good book and a must read for every mom and dad who are trying to bring up girls in a “unisex”, “feministic”, and “anti-feminine” culture. We have to know what we are up against so that our girls can grow into godly young ladies and eventually be women who go out to the serve the Lord but can do so with their confidence, hearts and purity intact. This book also affirmed in me why we home educate our children – it’s not to hide them from the world but to make sure when they enter the world they do so with a firm foundation in the Lord. Home education isn’t perfect and my oldest has already been exposed to girls who bully and intimidate, but thankfully she knows that we can talk and we can deal with it from a godly perspective. Again, while I don’t agree with everything in this book, the majority of it was very worth the time it took to read it.

**Disclaimer: I was provided a copy of this book from Tyndale House Publishing in exchange for posting my honest opinion, no other compensation was given.

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Jun 15, 2011 John Caneday rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011

My familiarity with Dobson is limited to his reputation and having seen him on TV on occasion. This book is more or less what I expected, and what anyone sympathetic to Dobson or at least his worldview, would expect.

He is a "culture-warrior" so he rails against specific aspects of our culture--particularly as they relate to sexuality. While this is often a unhelpfully narrow and restricting way of looking at the world, it is helpful in understanding the dangers our culture poses in "bringing up...more

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Oct 04, 2010 John Kennedy rated it 3 of 5 stars

Dobson is in a unique position to speak as an authority on the subject and he makes some salient observations that many in the culture ignore. Some excerpts:

"I am even more concerned about girls than boys. So much has changed for the worse in recent years. Girls are under enormous pressure rarely experienced by their mothers, grandmothers and other women in previous generations. Today's little girls are being enticed to grow up too fast and are encountering challenges for which they are totally...more

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May 10, 2012 Elaine rated it 2 of 5 stars

This devotes alot of time to concerns about raising daughters, with a LOT of statistics, excerpts from other sources, transcriptions of dialogue between people, letters written by people showing the extent of some of the problems mentioned, as well as explanations of biological differences in girls vs boys, and the hormonal changes that occur in girls. I agree the concerns in the book are valid, and should be taken seriously, and maybe if you've never thought about the impacts of today's media a...more

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Apr 27, 2012 Janet rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: children, spiritual-growth, healthy-living, educational, christian, parenting

Bringing Up Girls by Dr. James C. Dobson

I wish this book had been written decades ago with my oldest daughter. Since then, I have had four more daughters.Recently, I have become a single mom, just divorced, and it scares the heck outta me that my girls have lost their father figure. Bringing Up Girls has many chapters about the father and daughter relationship such as discussing the importance of why dads matter in their daughters life. With my recent divorce it has frightened me that my girls...more

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Apr 20, 2013 Adam Parker rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: in-pursuit-of-christ

As a new father of my sweet eight month old Savannah Faith, I have been seeking wisdom on this massive responsibility I now hold in my arms daily. Bringing Up Girls has been a great mentor and I'm certain will remain so for years to come. While at times the book took on an overly fearful perspective, the vast majority was encouraging, eye opening, and practical. It was full to bursting with statistics and facts that as a father I simply was unaware of. There is so much to be said about intention...more

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Oct 02, 2012 Daniel rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: parenting

The book “Bringing up Girls” is, as the subtitle suggests, a book full of “practical advice and encouragement for those shaping the next generation of women. And, as one might surmise from the title, the book covers how girls need to be brought up as, wait for it, girls! This is not a book for the feminist who wants to perpetuate the myth that the sexes are identical and only their upbringing creates differences between boys and girls. Right up front Dr. Dobson spends several pages underlying th...more

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Oct 16, 2010 Linda rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I liked some of it. A lot of what I liked was quotes from other authors. I wish there was more meat, and not so much of "this is the world your girls are living in". I wanted more specific ideas on how to raise my daughters better than I already am. I didn't get a lot of that.

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Jul 19, 2012 Robert rated it 4 of 5 stars

Many people rated this book lower than I did however I found the book to be very insightful. As a person who loves research I thought the amount and quality of research that was put into this book was extremely good. Understanding the culture and its effects and the differences between the male and female make-up is very important when trying to understand and raise boys and girls. This information is not only good for raising and understanding your kids but also can be applied to understanding...more

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Dec 27, 2010 Manda rated it 3 of 5 stars

This book has some good insights into the mind of girls and women, particularly in the battles they face with self-esteem issues. The first few chapters are especially good. Beyond that point, however, Dr. Dobson seems to merely ramble on about the ills of society - hardly news to most parents. The book never really gives any good advice for how to handle some of the dire issues that are brought up in the first part of the book. I do recommend this book, however, as it helped my husband understa...more

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Nov 02, 2012 Alycia Morales rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Mothers and Fathers of Girls, Christian Parents

Shelves: non-fiction, mom-books

I have long respected Dr. Dobson for his wisdom and knowledge concerning the well-being of families. I've admired his writings and ministry since before I was ever married or had my own children. He is a resource I always turn to when concerned with any aspect of marriage, parenting or family matters.

Many years ago, I purchased Bringing Up Boys. I had two of my own and one step-son at the time. I now have three of my own, and my step-son is grown and on his own. I loved the book and the insight...more I have long respected Dr. Dobson for his wisdom and knowledge concerning the well-being of families. I've admired his writings and ministry since before I was ever married or had my own children. He is a resource I always turn to when concerned with any aspect of marriage, parenting or family matters.

Many years ago, I purchased Bringing Up Boys. I had two of my own and one step-son at the time. I now have three of my own, and my step-son is grown and on his own. I loved the book and the insight into the world of boys.

When I was offered the opportunity to review Bringing Up Girls, I couldn't pass it up. Out of the five children I am raising, I've been blessed with one girl. In the sea of testosterone we live in, I wondered if I could successfully bring her up.

In Bringing Up Girls, Dr. Dobson addresses how to raise a lady, how to protect her from the men and the influences of this world, how to teach her to respect herself and what true beauty is. His advice is sound and biblical, and it is something I will apply every day as I teach Hannah how to become a woman of God.

I appreciate that Dr. Dobson includes multiple chapters that discuss the importance of a father in a girl's life. Mothers are important in teaching a girl how to become a woman, but daddies are important in teaching a girl how a man should treat her when she becomes that woman. Fathers don't need to be absent to be "absent." Girls are protected when their daddy pays attention and provides the nurture and affection she needs, so I am grateful that this aspect is included in Dr. Dobson's book.

Another aspect I love about Bringing Up Girls is the fact that Dr. Dobson uses interviews and articles and material from other resources. He doesn't just write the book himself; he includes the advice of others to reinforce what he advises. I love it when an author can recommend other resources, knowing that one person doesn't have all the answers. I appreciate this.

I highly recommend Bringing Up Girls for any parent who is leading a daughter into womanhood. It is a book that I will keep on my shelf until the day I can pass it on to one of my children as they raise their own daughters.(less)

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May 19, 2011 Stacey rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: moms and dads

Shelves: non-fiction, christian

There's a section on Fathers and Daughters that really moved me. It was a list of all the things dads should keep in mind when raising a girl. Read the list without tearing up...I dare you :)

The most helpful thing I learned was to pay attention to my children's intent. Children are careLESS because they don't have the cares of the world to carry around with them like adults do. This is a blessing for just a short time in their lives and parents need to look at the intent behind the spilled milk,...more

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Feb 28, 2011 Michael rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

As the father of a baby girl, I wanted to glean some wisdom on raising a little lady from that "focuser on the family," Dr. James Dobson. There are certainly some good ideas in here, and I particularly liked the story about the charm bracelet and dating. But I think the focus ended up being less about parenting and more on addressing societal ills in the U.S. that may affect girls.

Sometimes the book reads like his radio show, and sometimes like a compilation of not-so-interesting statistics. A...more

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Jun 29, 2011 Kathleen rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: anyone raising a girl

Shelves: christian, non-fiction

This is a very comprehensive book on raising Christian girls in today's world. Dr. Dobson addresses many issues, including teaching girls to be ladies, purity, how to protect our daughters from technology, and the importance of both mother and father to a girl. He cites a lot of research, gives anecdotal evidence, and quotes from other sources to support his ideas. This book gave me a lot to think about and things for my husband and I to discuss, once he reads it, pertaining to our own girls. I...more

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Jan 05, 2012 Todd Miles rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: parenting

This review will appear in the Journal for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.
James Dobson’s Bringing Up Boys, published in 2001 by Tyndale House, proved to be so informative and helpful to parents in the raising of their sons, that many fathers and mothers of daughters wondered when the companion volume on raising girls would be published. Ten years later, Dobson finished Bringing up Girls, and it will no doubt prove to be beneficial to all who read it.
Dobson, the founder and president emeritus of...more This review will appear in the Journal for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.
James Dobson’s Bringing Up Boys, published in 2001 by Tyndale House, proved to be so informative and helpful to parents in the raising of their sons, that many fathers and mothers of daughters wondered when the companion volume on raising girls would be published. Ten years later, Dobson finished Bringing up Girls, and it will no doubt prove to be beneficial to all who read it.
Dobson, the founder and president emeritus of Focus on the Family, a licensed psychologist and marriage, family, and child counselor, as well as a husband and father to a son and daughter, brings a wealth of trusted experience to his writing. Christians have long looked to Dr. Dobson for counsel in the raising of children, and there has arguably not been a more influential voice in parenting and marriage issues over the last century.
Bringing Up Girls is borne out of a critical concern for the well-being of girls and young women in a culture that is simultaneously over-sexualized and confused over all issues related to gender and gender roles. There are so many competing voices for the hearts and minds of young women, so many mixed messages being sent to young men regarding the place of those same young women in society, and most tragically, so little godly sense exercised in parenting, that today, as perhaps never before, a clear voice of authoritative biblical wisdom is needed.
Dobson begins his book by explaining, in the first two chapters, why he possesses this sense of urgency in writing to parents of girls. Young women are in peril. The ambient culture wants to make girls into sex objects, and it targets them when they are young and most vulnerable.
Girls are different than boys. Femininity is different than masculinity. That might seem obvious and attractive to some, but to many in our society, those differences are unwanted and are to be negated through strong social engineering. In chapters three through six, Dobson explores the differences between girls and boys and argues persuasively that those differences are there by design. Bringing his clinical training and experience to bear, Dobson explains that girls are fundamentally different than boys, and those differences are essentially due to nature, not nurture. Girls have different biochemistry, physiology, and neurology. They are more emotional and nurturing. They mature differently and earlier than boys. They are programmed with different social needs and concerns. And though our culture desperately depends upon those differences, for the most part it does not respect or appreciate them. In fact, our culture is antagonistic toward them. Therefore, intentional parenting is needed to produce a safe environment where femininity and womanhood can be cultivated and trained.
Chapters seven through eleven focus on the fundamental role that both mothers and fathers must play in raising girls. For example, mothers need to stay in touch emotionally with their girls. That relationship must be cultivated from birth and it is to continue throughout adolescence. In fact, Dobson is convinced that all of a girl’s childhood is a critical period in her relationship with her mother. Yet he cautions that girls need their mothers to be mothers first, and best-friends later. Fathers are equally important, though their role is different. Through formal study, panel discussion, and anecdote, Dobson makes the case that girls need their fathers. They need an emotional and appropriate physical connection with their fathers, particularly during their awkward teen years. Young girls need the security of knowing that their father, the man in their life, loves them unconditionally, that they are protected and provided for by that same man. Their maturity, and psychological and emotional health depends upon it. For those fathers who struggle in knowing how to do so, Dobson has suggestions for cultivating the relationship that range from the simple (e.g., intentional times of conversation) to the elaborate (e.g., a father-daughter purity ball).
Chapters twelve through fourteen focus on cultural exegesis. Why is it that girls are the way that they are and yet our culture both feeds some legitimate desires (Dobson devotes all of chapter 12 to the “princess” movement) and destructively fights against others (chapter 14 describes the cultural currents that seek to pull girls toward sexual immorality)? Chapter 15 outlines the inevitable consequences of a sexual promiscuous lifestyle. The effects of the “hookup” culture are physical, relational, and emotional. But he happily reports in chapter 16 that a growing number of young women are resisting the tides of the culture and are practicing sexual abstinence until marriage. Dr. Dobson provides some practical advice in chapters 16 and 17 to parents who seek to protect their children and teach them to value and cherish their sexuality.
Chapters 18-21 cover an assortment of issues related to female physiology and biochemistry (18), female bullying and “relational aggression” (19), puberty (20), and protecting your children in our connected age from the dangers presented by invasive technology (21). In chapter 22, Dobson brings the book to a close by calling parents to raise their girls in the fear of the Lord, pointing them to Jesus Christ.
Bringing Up Girls is a strong book full of easy-to-understand explanations and practical advice. The strengths are numerous. Here are a representative few: Bringing Up Girls, though dealing with difficult issues is remarkably easy to read. Dobson illustrates his points throughout with panel discussion transcripts and anecdotes from his personal experiences in raising his daughter. Dr. Dobson writes in much the same style in which he speaks. Those who have listened to Dobson over the years will at times hear his voice speaking the words of advice, concern, and compassion as the pages are read. The book is clearly a labor of love and represents, in all earnestness, Dobson at his best.
Dobson’s clarion call to fathers to be intentionally involved in the lives of their daughters is compelling and convicting. As the father of a teenage daughter myself, I was confronted at numerous points and then challenged with the importance of my role in her life. He also raises the issue of the importance of mothers being at home with their children. Although he is not as confrontational as he could, he outlines the issue well and asks mothers in two-career families to consider the wellbeing of their daughters as they make their vocational choices.
Dobson’s citations of sociological and physiological research is impressive. His explanations are clear. One is left with the inescapable conclusion that there is a difference between boys and girls and it is that way by design. Readers are also left with an understanding of their daughter’s physiology, neurology, and emotional makeup that will go a long way toward explaining her needs. Though never excusing certain behaviors, such knowledge will enable parents to understand and more effectively deal with certain issues as physiological changes occur.
Two areas of concern, one small, the other more significant:
At times, Dobson runs into the same confusion regarding femininity and gender roles that is manifest in the culture. It is apparent that he is trying to walk a fine line between the strength of women on the one side and their femininity on the other. At one point he defends the strength of his feminine grandmother by recalling that she co-pastored a church with his grandfather and she was an excellent preacher. I’m not sure that appealing to an occasion where a woman does what is forbidden by Scripture is testimony to legitimate strength. Admittedly, it is a difficult line to walk when you are trying to speak against a culture that wants to treat women as sexual objects while also affirming the differences between men and women that the feminist movement despises. Scripture alone is able to guide one along this line, celebrating the differences between men and women that are designed by our wise and loving Creator while upholding the precious dignity of women as image-bearers and the unique and special creations of God.
Which brings me to my largest concern: There is virtually no Bible and even less gospel in this book. Surely the gospel has incredible implications for how we parent our girls! And I am speaking of more than a general “raise your children in the fear and admonition of the Lord” instruction. If Jesus came to save sinners (including mothers, fathers, young women, and little girls) and that salvation is holistic in the manner and depth that Scripture reveals, then the gospel has to uniquely guide our aspirations, philosophies, techniques, and prayers for our daughters as females and our sons as males. It is not until the last chapter that Dobson turns to Scripture for divine revelation on the roles and responsibilities of parents. And when he does so, it reads more like an obligatory add-on, rather than an authoritative appeal to the Word of God to give definition, explanation, and instruction to femininity, adolescence, and parenting. Why not begin with a brief biblical study on femininity and masculinity? Why no reference or appeal to the verses or passages that speak specifically to women and womanhood? But there were plenty of references to science, psychological studies, opinion polls, and anecdotal evidence. Dr. Dobson’s appeals to behavioral science, psychology, and physiology are impressive. And it is clear to me that Dobson is convinced that men and women, girls and boys, are unique and different because God designed them to be so. With that presupposition in mind the data makes perfect sense and is helpful. Why not make that presupposition explicit by rightly grounding the theology, philosophy, goals, and manner of parenting girls in the Bible? But in the absence of that presupposition, one will inevitably conclude that the source of authority and insight for parenting lies in the behavioral sciences. Really, apart from the last chapter and the unwritten presuppositions that ground the entire worldview of the volume, there is nothing distinctly Christian about the book. I think that Dobson recognizes the priority and sufficiency of Scripture, but it is not clear from the book structure that this is the case.
But Dr. Dobson has earned our trust and we know of his commitment to Christ. His voice is no longer heard by as many parents as it was during the seventies and eighties when he called parents to love their children enough to “dare to discipline.” More is the pity. One look around society and even the church suggests that most parents are not suffering from too much good advice and godly instruction. If anything, the stakes for our children are higher now and the world that much more dangerous. For these reasons and more, Bringing up Girls is a book well worth reading.(less)

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May 29, 2010 Pastoralmusings rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

James Dobson has certainly written a helpful book. Bringing Up Girls brings together the best of research concerning trends that affect girls today as well as timeless truth about the need for parent to be, well, parents to their girls.
As a father I was especially interested to read what Dobson had to say about the role of fathers in the raising of their girls. I was not disappointed, but was challenged to be a better father because of this book. Dads, we are needed in our homes and we are neede...more

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Jun 18, 2010 Mandy rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: blog-reviews, mandys-reads, read-in-2010

MY REVIEW:

The title of this book pretty much sums up the overall point of this book - bringing up Girls. I, along with many other parents of girls, desire to know how best to raise our daughters, especially during those moments of drama, emotions, and crying that even us grown-up girls just don't "get".

Dr. Dobson presents the basic make-up of a girl both emotionally and physically which aids you in better understanding what girls are experiencing at the various stages they go through. Through ou...more

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Sep 14, 2012 Bill rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: family

If there was ever a book for me, this is it! With four of them, I'm a daughter specialist. I wouldn't describe Bringing Up Girls as a great book, but it was helpful in places. And as I often feel like a begger looking for food when it comes to parenting advice, I'll take it. The most significant negative was a relentless focus on external behaivour and morality rather than attitudes of the heart, although the gospel was discussed in the final chapter. There are healthy doses of moral outrage, pr...more

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Aug 06, 2011 Emmie rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: christian-living, parenting

As with Dobson's Bringing Up Boys book this is a must read for anyone with a daughter or who has a girl in their life. There is definitely some startling information in this book but it is information that is necessary for understanding the culture today and what it is doing to girls. Please read this book. It has really opened my eyes to just how devastating this world is and how we need to raise Godly Women in this society.

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Jul 17, 2012 Lindsey rated it 1 of 5 stars

Perhaps I'm just over Dobson's writing style, but the the transcripts of radio interviews and quotes from other books are way overdone. There's actually little practical advice in this book and as it becomes a collection of everything else that's already been written about "raunch" culture and protecting our children from it. I was pretty much just bored the whole way through and skimmed a lot.

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Feb 11, 2011 Michelle Wegner rated it 5 of 5 stars

A must read for any parent of a girl. I have three girls, and Dr. Dobson's insights as to why girls sometimes behave the way they do were so insightful and helpful. It turns out there really may be reasons to why there is so much drama in their little lives. Reading this book helped me understand my girls more, as well as made me more grateful for the preciousness of their individuality.

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Nov 28, 2011 Mishy rated it 4 of 5 stars

Although I do think the author is a bit of a chauvinist at times, there was some decent food for thought in here. It was an enjoyable, educational read with plenty of good advice for dads as to why they are so important to their daughters' wellbeing. I swung between enjoying the lack of political correctness and wishing the dude would get off his high horse!

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Feb 20, 2012 Sally Stanfill rated it 5 of 5 stars

I loved this book. Some may consider it radical and caught in the olden days, but I think it is necessary and challenging and a call for us to take our role as parents seriously, recognizing the great privilege and responsibility that it is.
I pulled so many great things from this book and will be coming back to it as my daughter continues to get older.

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Jan 18, 2011 Kristi rated it 2 of 5 stars

I read this in hopes I could recommend it to parents. The first couple of chapters were good, and reviewed a lot of good research. I was able to get past the conservative rhetoric for awhile, but after a few chapters the author became much too right-winged for my tastes. I abondoned this book shortly after he began demeaning The Girl Scouts of America.

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