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Vrouw in Pakistan

3.61 of 5 stars 3.61  ·  rating details  ·  1,704 ratings  ·  118 reviews
De mooie Hier is nauwelijks vijftien als haar zorgeloze leven in een nachtmerrie verandert. Ze wordt uitgehuwelijkt aan Pir Saien, een religieus leider die door zijn aanhangers wordt beschouwd als de tussenpersoon tussen Allah en diens gelovigen. De pir blijkt een despoot die uit naam van Allah zijn vrouw en zijn gevolg dag in dag uit terroriseert. Hier verliest haar waard...more
Paperback, 288 pages
Published 2003 by De Geus (first published 1991)
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Piyush Verma

The book lacks sincerity. The author tries too hard to portray herself as totally naive and innocent, preyed on by a tyrannical and cruel husband. "I refused to let go because of the kids," she maintains. Seeing that she left her first daughter to marry her feudal lord, she doesn't come off as such a devoted and loving mother for me to buy that argument. It does not come off as a wolf-sheep combination at all for me to be entirely sympathetic to her ordeal. The worst part was when her baby sist...more
Hussain Mansoor
The book was an eye opener into lives and mentality of feudal lords, however what was quite obvious is that Ms Durrani is no saint as she expects people to conclude to, She herself was a debauchee, admitted to splurging the money without caring where it came from, admiring the two facedness of her double standard husband who really didnt care about the masses while pretending to be their saviour. Ms Durrani in this book is less upset of how Khar fooled the people he claimed to represent, she is...more
Qurat
Aug 07, 2011 Qurat rated it 2 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Qurat by: madiha
My feudal lord was just an ordinary Any pakistani household story, with Only politics making it little special. This is a story of most of the pakistani women, so she faced nothing extra, And whatever she faced during her marriage with Khar was the result of her own action, She did the same to Mustafa's Ex-wife sherry, which happened to her by her own sister Adila. She was an adulteress and was cursed for breaking sherry's marriage with mustafa, at the time when sherry was pregnant. If mustafa w...more
Ajay
Having grown up in India, I have always been interested in things happening in Pakistan. We would view things in Pakistan with a sense of mystery. There were so many walls between the two nations, there still are. But things are easing. Growing up, for me and many others during the cold war, Pakistan was always represented as this theocratic rogue, by the powers that be, always on the brink of war with India. Tehmina Durrani's book, does not do much to dispel this myth. But the fact that she sur...more
Shalini
By the time you say you’re his,
Shivering and sighing.
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, and undying-
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.
-DOROTHY PARKER (Unfortunate Coincidence)


This is the caveat Ms. Tehmina Durrani should have taken heed of. But as the saying goes ‘Love is blind’, she fell into the perfectly woven trap by Mustafa Khar. The writer starts off with explaining her childhood lifestyle and traumas. Her painstakingly disciplined upbringing in the house where h

...more
Sahil
I first saw this book on the bookshelf of one of my friend. Upon reading its back cover and discussing about with the friend, I became intrigued.

Miss Durrani narrates about her life and that of her husband Mr Mustafa Khar's in Pakistan(who is uncle of Hina Rabbani Khar). For starters she herself is not that clean but honest nonetheless, as she was having extra-marital affair with Mustafa Khar when she was already married ( something she reports here, it seems to me that some women enjoy the co...more
Anum
The Ultimate Nightmare of a Pakistani Woman: To be trapped in a violent marriage

Tehmina Durrani was born into a strangely dysfunctional family with a combination of an over dominating mother and a mostly absentee father. Cursed with dark skin, she was forever ignored and psychologically led-down by her mother. Nevertheless, she grew up to be charming young lady who drew many a male attention but never from anyone her parents might approve. Her first marriage was to Anees Khan, a man of lower soc...more
Phani
I found this book unreadably tragic. Though I agree with some of the other reviews that the author comes off as insincere, I have to believe that most of what she claims is true, though possibly dramatized and exaggerated.

The blurb proclaims that the book is a "devastating indictment of women's role in Muslim society" and that it is a "sensational European bestseller". That should have made me cynical, but I picked up the book anyway.

Upon reading the book though, Islam comes off as the junior p...more
brat gaba
I agree with Piyush Verma - the book lacks sincerity. It's quite evident that that the writer is trying too hard to get a tear.

Also, most of what happened with her was self-inflicted (I don't mean the violence of course). It is SHE who broke another woman's marriage and home, and then spends the rest of her life complaining about having gotten a raw deal.

Still, if only for her horrible experiences, I was inclined towards giving this book a 3-star rating. One sentence in the whole book totally ru...more
Raheel Farooq
The book is more of an autobiography than a novel. So the only literary merits we can judge this book for are style and diction.
The style is marked by the intesity of the situations. If Tehmina would recover herself a bit more and be able to see those times in a certain detachment and independence, the book could definitely have a greater share of humor which would indubitably contribute to a better reading.
As for the diction, it typically shows the underlying inferiority complex of post colonia...more
Rahat  Asif
I had watched this tv show "mera Saeen" which is loosely based on this novel, so I had an idea what the book was about. But it was really shocking to read the story. All these people are not fictional they are real people and this is a true story.
I don't know how Tehmina suffered all these years and didn't just leave him for forever the first time she left his house.
Mustafa Khar is a mentally sick man! He suffers from a number of disorders and needs to get treated.
I'm proud of Tehmina for sta...more
Carmen
Interesting discovering the hidden story to much of what has happened in Pakistan. While I think that many of Tehmina's problem did come from having a Feudal Lord as a husband, I think that overbearing men and "feudal lords" exist everywhere and it is important as women to educate our daughters in such a way that they have enough respect and confidence in themselves so that they never place themselves in such a situation. Congratulations to Tehmina for finally breaking free
Maria Mehmood
Okay,,so iv read the book,i liked it,the woman Tehmina Durrani involved in emancipation of woman had a strange life,,i didnt like so many many things she mentioned in the book but they are her thoughts so i cannot say anything.she married Mustafa Khar then chief minister and then governor,,according to her the real power of fuedal lords is actually because of distorted version of Islam that is supported by Mullahs and molvies i agree her in that matter...
Sobia
Interesting view of Pakistani politics and patriarchal culture from the point of view of an awesome woman, who survives both and lives to tell the tale.

While the bookcover makes it seem like it's going to be Islamophobic, it's actually not. Tehmina Durrani well understands the difference between and the separation of Islam itself and patriarchal cultures that use Islam to perpetuate their problematic beliefs.
Khadijah Qamar
This book epitomizes what is wrong with the Pakistani "elite", the class of people who run the country with often-ill earned money and power. But that's not a result of any intention by the author, which makes the book itself a terrible read. Hypocrisy, egoism, cruelty, nepotism, immorality, tyranny - these are the themes that dominate this book and its characters, the author included.

Hypocrisy especially stands out in the narrative that Tehmina Durrani wants you to swallow. It seems to be writt...more
Samir Dhond
I came across this book by accident. While surfing through a bookstore at a remote airport, I stumbled on this book. I was moved reading this one because it talks about trials and tribulations of a woman in a high profile political family. You must read it to understand how some socities of the world are so feudal even today.
Meghana
Emotionally draining and monotonously repetitive, this was a memoir I forced myself to get through.

Perhaps because I've already read- and relished- both Not Without My Daughter and the Princess trilogy, this book was a disappointment to the genre of women who've triumphed over oppression under Islamic regimes.

Tehmina Durrani comes off as whiny, self-absorbed (I could not bear to read the parts where she kept rejecting her hapless oldest daughter), and utterly insincere, and she fails to give t...more
Dishari Sarkar
Extraordinary tale of an ordinary woman

This autobiography by Tehmina Durrani portrays her birth years into a very influential family of Pakistan, her marriage to one of the most prominent politician of that time Mustafa Khar(the right hand of Zulfikar Bhutto and Governor of the province of Punjab) and the consequences she had to face due to the breakdown of that marriage.
Tehmina Durrani was very young when she romanced and married the much elder Mustafa Khar(it was her 2nd marriage and his 6th)...more
Bushra
Though her accounts of Mustafa Khar are generally perceived as false accusations (Some say it's too depressing to be true), I rather found it easy to relate to Durrani as a real women. I didn't come across anything in the book that can't be expected from the feudals of Pakistan.
Usman
Simply daring effort.... i will give Tehmina this much credit.
She has discussed the very hidden areas of her life in order to expose feudal mind of Pakistani politicians and dirty game they have played on in order to gain there selfish desires.
Hunaid Hameed
My Feudal Lord is very thorough and articulate, this book also offers a rich vocabulary. Readers with a background of the people mentioned in these books will find it more compelling and intriguing. A Must Read for Pakistanis.
Khuzafa Rauf
This book is awesome. Its honest and very simply tells a story of a dedicated woman. It gives you goosebumps at the moments in reality. I loved it and gonna read it again sometime in future. TWO THUMBS UP !!
Humayun Shinwari
By reading this book now I know that third world politician have two very different faces. Especially a man like Ghulam Mustafa Khar who is like a sacred man to the people but a very dirty one at home.
Fareeha
Surely nothing else than a Danielle Stelle? Quite an eye opener (not of the good kind), but she isn't entirely without fault either ! I pity the poor kids all around !
Siddharth Sharma
Excellent eye opener! It takes courage for a conservative Pakstani wife to speak up!
Kazim
Five start for the courage to write don't take it as a book only.
okyrhoe
This autobiography is as interesting for its behind-the-scenes account of the political developments in the history of modern Pakistan as for the personal story of a battered woman in an abusive marriage.
Of course the two narrative threads are inextricably linked, as Tehmina Durrani discovers by the book's end: Her husband is a master manipulator of susceptible women's emotions, as well as a power-seeking schemer who's willing to make deals with the enemy, as long as that will further his polit...more
Maya
My Feudal Lord by Tehmina Durrani is a great autobiographical novel that consists of 382 pages. Through this novel, the main character, Tehmina Durrani allows the audience to feel her pain of an abusive marriage to the Governor of Punjab, Mustafa Khar. Set in Lahore this novel follows Tehmina to London. Tehmina was married to a simple man named Anees, had a daughter and then begun her affair with the "Lion of Punjab" who was also married at that time. She eventually got married to him after what...more
A
I know this book has a lot of negative comments, but I really liked it.
More than anything, it was REALISTIC.
I know a lot of flaws were how public the content was, and how many mixed-emotions the writer felt, but that. Is. Life. I'm rather glad the book didn't start with hell and end in heaven. That is not reality. She showed struggle and courage, which was remarkable.


As for detailed analysis, I don't have any.
Whatever happened with Anees was her call. I wouldn't say it is karma for her to get...more
Ashok
The books written around and about life and times of the political personalities always have an element of mystery about them. And it is even more so, when it comes to those in the positions of power in India and Pakistan where politicians' lives are full of imagined and real secretes. Even if one was to discount somewhat the truthfulness of the horrific events narrated by author about her own life to bring out the pathetic state of woman's exploitation at the hands of men folk, the book brings...more
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Tehmina Durrani (Urdu: تہمینہ درانی‎; born 18 February 1953) is the daughter of a former Governor of State Bank of Pakistan and Managing Director of Pakistan International Airlines, S.U. Durrani and a granddaughter of Nawab Sir Liaqat Hayat Khan, prime minister of Patiala state for eleven years. He was the elder brother of former Punjab Premier Sir Sikandar Hayat Khan. Her first book, My Feudal Lo...more
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“I found an inner strength to fight for myself. It was clear that nobody else would.” 4 likes
“For Sehra who broke the silence of hypocrisy, that Allah consistently says he hates; in the dictionary meaning of Satan out of 3 – 1 is hypocrisy – So – while many misguided people around the world will condemn you – Allah will love you for following his command. I am very proud of you and can assure you that from here on you will find yourself transformed for a greater purpose. My love and prayers.” 1 likes
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