Vrouw in Pakistan
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The book lacks sincerity. The author tries too hard to portray herself as totally naive and innocent, preyed on by a tyrannical and cruel husband. "I refused to let go because of the kids," she maintains. Seeing that she left her first daughter to marry her feudal lord, she doesn't come off as such a devoted and loving mother for me to buy that argument. It does not come off as a wolf-sheep combination at all for me to be entirely sympathetic to her ordeal. The worst part was when her baby sist...more
By the time you say you’re his,
Shivering and sighing.
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, and undying-
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.
-DOROTHY PARKER (Unfortunate Coincidence)
This is the caveat Ms. Tehmina Durrani should have taken heed of. But as the saying goes ‘Love is blind’, she fell into the perfectly woven trap by Mustafa Khar. The writer starts off with explaining her childhood lifestyle and traumas. Her painstakingly disciplined upbringing in the house where h...more
Miss Durrani narrates about her life and that of her husband Mr Mustafa Khar's in Pakistan(who is uncle of Hina Rabbani Khar). For starters she herself is not that clean but honest nonetheless, as she was having extra-marital affair with Mustafa Khar when she was already married ( something she reports here, it seems to me that some women enjoy the co...more
Tehmina Durrani was born into a strangely dysfunctional family with a combination of an over dominating mother and a mostly absentee father. Cursed with dark skin, she was forever ignored and psychologically led-down by her mother. Nevertheless, she grew up to be charming young lady who drew many a male attention but never from anyone her parents might approve. Her first marriage was to Anees Khan, a man of lower soc...more
The blurb proclaims that the book is a "devastating indictment of women's role in Muslim society" and that it is a "sensational European bestseller". That should have made me cynical, but I picked up the book anyway.
Upon reading the book though, Islam comes off as the junior p...more
Also, most of what happened with her was self-inflicted (I don't mean the violence of course). It is SHE who broke another woman's marriage and home, and then spends the rest of her life complaining about having gotten a raw deal.
Still, if only for her horrible experiences, I was inclined towards giving this book a 3-star rating. One sentence in the whole book totally ru...more
The style is marked by the intesity of the situations. If Tehmina would recover herself a bit more and be able to see those times in a certain detachment and independence, the book could definitely have a greater share of humor which would indubitably contribute to a better reading.
As for the diction, it typically shows the underlying inferiority complex of post colonia...more
I don't know how Tehmina suffered all these years and didn't just leave him for forever the first time she left his house.
Mustafa Khar is a mentally sick man! He suffers from a number of disorders and needs to get treated.
I'm proud of Tehmina for sta...more
While the bookcover makes it seem like it's going to be Islamophobic, it's actually not. Tehmina Durrani well understands the difference between and the separation of Islam itself and patriarchal cultures that use Islam to perpetuate their problematic beliefs.
Hypocrisy especially stands out in the narrative that Tehmina Durrani wants you to swallow. It seems to be writt...more
Perhaps because I've already read- and relished- both Not Without My Daughter and the Princess trilogy, this book was a disappointment to the genre of women who've triumphed over oppression under Islamic regimes.
Tehmina Durrani comes off as whiny, self-absorbed (I could not bear to read the parts where she kept rejecting her hapless oldest daughter), and utterly insincere, and she fails to give t...more
This autobiography by Tehmina Durrani portrays her birth years into a very influential family of Pakistan, her marriage to one of the most prominent politician of that time Mustafa Khar(the right hand of Zulfikar Bhutto and Governor of the province of Punjab) and the consequences she had to face due to the breakdown of that marriage.
Tehmina Durrani was very young when she romanced and married the much elder Mustafa Khar(it was her 2nd marriage and his 6th)...more
She has discussed the very hidden areas of her life in order to expose feudal mind of Pakistani politicians and dirty game they have played on in order to gain there selfish desires.
Of course the two narrative threads are inextricably linked, as Tehmina Durrani discovers by the book's end: Her husband is a master manipulator of susceptible women's emotions, as well as a power-seeking schemer who's willing to make deals with the enemy, as long as that will further his polit...more
More than anything, it was REALISTIC.
I know a lot of flaws were how public the content was, and how many mixed-emotions the writer felt, but that. Is. Life. I'm rather glad the book didn't start with hell and end in heaven. That is not reality. She showed struggle and courage, which was remarkable.
As for detailed analysis, I don't have any.
Whatever happened with Anees was her call. I wouldn't say it is karma for her to get...more