Vrouw in Pakistan
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The book lacks sincerity. The author tries too hard to portray herself as totally naive and innocent, preyed on by a tyrannical and cruel husband. "I refused to let go because of the kids," she maintains. Seeing that she left her first daughter to marry her feudal lord, she doesn't come off as such a devoted and loving mother for me to buy that argument. It does not come off as a wolf-sheep combination at all for me to be entirely sympathetic to her ordeal. The worst part was when her baby sist ...more
By the time you say you’re his,
Shivering and sighing.
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, and undying-
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.
-DOROTHY PARKER (Unfortunate Coincidence)
This is the caveat Ms. Tehmina Durrani should have taken heed of. But as the saying goes ‘Love is blind’, she fell into the perfectly woven trap by Mustafa Khar. The writer starts off with explaining her childhood lifestyle and traumas. Her painstakingly disciplined upbringing in the house where...more
The blurb proclaims that the book is a "devastating indictment of women's role in Muslim society" and that it is a "sensational European bestseller". That should have made me cynical, but I picked up the book anyway.
Upon reading the book though, Islam comes off as the junior p ...more
Miss Durrani narrates about her life and that of her husband Mr Mustafa Khar's in Pakistan(who is uncle of Hina Rabbani Khar). For starters she herself is not that clean but honest nonetheless, as she was having extra-marital affair with Mustafa Khar when she was already married ( something she reports here, it seems to me that some women enjoy the co ...more
Tehmina Durrani was born into a strangely dysfunctional family with a combination of an over dominating mother and a mostly absentee father. Cursed with dark skin, she was forever ignored and psychologically led-down by her mother. Nevertheless, she grew up to be charming young lady who drew many a male attention but never from anyone her parents might approve. Her first marriage was to Anees Khan, a man of lower soc ...more
Also, most of what happened with her was self-inflicted (I don't mean the violence of course). It is SHE who broke another woman's marriage and home, and then spends the rest of her life complaining about having gotten a raw deal.
Still, if only for her horrible experiences, I was inclined towards giving this book a 3-star rating. One sentence in the whole book totally ru ...more
This one is a graphic book - I went through rage, sympathy, pity, happiness; all of them. It opened my eyes to a great many things. For example I am an adamant believer of women empowerment and my mind had an eas ...more
But I appreciate the effort of Tehmina Durrani of writing this book and 'breaking the tra ...more
I don't know how Tehmina suffered all these years and didn't just leave him for forever the first time she left his house.
Mustafa Khar is a mentally sick man! He suffers from a number of disorders and needs to get treated.
I'm proud of Tehmina for sta ...more
One gets tired from just reading the pattern of abusive behaviours endured by Tehmina Durrani.
میں اسے اپنے ذہن سے فراموش نہ کر سکی...more
بدگمانی کا بیج بو دیا گیا تھا وہ جلد ہی پھوٹ آنے کو تھا اور بڑھ کر میرے پورے وجود میں پھیل جانے والے شک کی صورت اختیار کرنے والا تھا
وہ مجھے گھسیٹ کر میرے ماضی میں لے گیا اور مجبور کیا کہ میں اسے دوبارہ بسر کروں
میں اپنے ہی انکشافات میں دھنستی جا رہی تھی
عورت کا تصور
یہ الجھن جاگیردارانہ ذہن کی خصوصیت ہے کہ عورت صرف انہیں لذت پہنچانے کے لئے پیدا ہوئی ہے
اگر اس کی حرکتوں سے کبھی یہ ظاہر ہو جاۓ کہ وہ خود بھی مزہ لے رہی ہے تو یقینا اس کے اندر ایک چھنال چھپی ہوئی ہ
The style is marked by the intesity of the situations. If Tehmina would recover herself a bit more and be able to see those times in a certain detachment and independence, the book could definitely have a greater share of humor which would indubitably contribute to a better reading.
As for the diction, it typically shows the underlying inferiority complex of post colonia ...more
Hypocrisy especially stands out in the narrative that Tehmina Durrani wants you to swallow. It seems to be writt ...more
51mBDoTs4tL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_I heard about this book from one of my friends & decided to read it to see how things are in Pakistan w.r.t women rights. But this choice was one of the worst i made in 2015.
The book disgusted, bored, infuriated me in turns. She has written a ...more
It's also shows that appearance can be just an illusion of mind, a decent and smart man can turned out as a brutal monster who need no better reason to beat and humiliate his wife.
There are some points in this book which really seems illogical to me. Like, his husband crossed all limi ...more
My feudal lord is autobiographical work of Tehmina Durrani focusing on her devastating and tormenting matrimonial alliance with “Lion of Punjab”, Mustafa Khar. The book created a up roaring and stumped reaction in the patriarcharial Pakistani audience by unveiling the ruthful and biter story of every household in the society.
Tehmina doesn’t hesitates to disclose the tyrant and pompous side of khar. I think the humiliation and declining self confidence of durrani was not only cuased ...more
Although, The author was a bit harsh on her mother, especially with the drawn psychological conclusions, at first. I don't believe even half of all that was true. Se ...more
While the bookcover makes it seem like it's going to be Islamophobic, it's actually not. Tehmina Durrani well understands the difference between and the separation of Islam itself and patriarchal cultures that use Islam to perpetuate their problematic beliefs.
The autobiography is full of juicy details about her violent marriage, Khars penchant for women and of his countless affairs.
It's more of a personal account, have less to do with the political history of the country at that time.