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<book id="771526">
  <title><![CDATA[That's Not What I Meant!]]></title>
  <isbn><![CDATA[0345340906]]></isbn>
  <isbn13><![CDATA[9780345340900]]></isbn13>
    <image_url>http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1178215209m/771526.jpg</image_url>
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  <best_book_id type="integer">771526</best_book_id>
  <books_count type="integer">7</books_count>
  <default_description>Often it's not what you say, but how you say it, that counts. Deborah Tannen, the internationally-acclaimed expert on communication and author of the bestselling YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND, will help you recognize your own conversational style and how it meshes or clashes with the styles of others. Entertaining and informative, everyone who speaks will want to read this gem.</default_description>
  <id type="integer">142084</id>
  <media_type>book</media_type>
  <original_language_id type="integer" nil="true"></original_language_id>
  <original_publication_day type="integer" nil="true"></original_publication_day>
  <original_publication_month type="integer" nil="true"></original_publication_month>
  <original_publication_year type="integer">1986</original_publication_year>
  <original_title>That's Not What I Meant!</original_title>
  <rating_dist>total:173|5:48|4:72|3:45|2:7|1:1|</rating_dist>
  <ratings_count type="integer">173</ratings_count>
  <ratings_sum type="integer">678</ratings_sum>
  <reviews_count type="integer">273</reviews_count>
  <text_reviews_count type="integer">27</text_reviews_count>
</work>

  <average_rating><![CDATA[3.92]]></average_rating>
  <ratings_count><![CDATA[149]]></ratings_count>
  <text_reviews_count><![CDATA[22]]></text_reviews_count>
  <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/771526.That_s_Not_What_I_Meant_]]></url>
  <authors>
        <author id="44018">
      <name><![CDATA[Deborah Tannen]]></name>
      <role><![CDATA[]]></role>
      <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/44018.Deborah_Tannen]]></url>
      <average_rating><![CDATA[3.67]]></average_rating>
      <ratings_count><![CDATA[1388]]></ratings_count>
      <text_reviews_count><![CDATA[258]]></text_reviews_count>
    </author>
      </authors>
    <reviews start="1" end="20" total="273">
    <review id="73001911">
    <user id="122109">
    <name><![CDATA[Kate]]></name>
    <location><![CDATA[New York, NY]]></location>        
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/122109-kate]]></url>
  </user>
      <rating>4</rating>
  <votes>0</votes>
  <sell_flag>false</sell_flag>
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  <recommended_for><![CDATA[]]></recommended_for>
  <recommended_by><![CDATA[]]></recommended_by>
  <read_at>Tue Jul 28 00:00:00 -0700 2009</read_at>
  <date_added>Wed Sep 30 09:31:23 -0700 2009</date_added>
  <date_updated>Wed Sep 30 09:34:14 -0700 2009</date_updated>
  <read_count></read_count>
    <body><![CDATA[Deborah Tannen is great!  She sets out from the very beginning simply intending to increase the awareness in the world about differing conversational styles.  That simple awareness, she says, often solves the problems people are having trying to reach one another.<br/><br/>I read this book while d...<a href="http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/73001911">more...</a>]]></body>
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/73001911]]></url>
</review>
    <review id="3477418">
    <user id="189809">
    <name><![CDATA[Abby]]></name>
    <location><![CDATA[Boston, MA]]></location>        
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/189809-abby]]></url>
  </user>
      <rating>5</rating>
  <votes>0</votes>
  <sell_flag>false</sell_flag>
  <spoiler_flag>false</spoiler_flag>
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  <recommended_for><![CDATA[]]></recommended_for>
  <recommended_by><![CDATA[]]></recommended_by>
  <read_at>Sun Oct 19 00:00:00 -0700 2008</read_at>
  <date_added>Tue Jul 24 17:12:46 -0700 2007</date_added>
  <date_updated>Wed Apr 08 17:38:48 -0700 2009</date_updated>
  <read_count>2</read_count>
    <body><![CDATA[I read parts of this in college and think that it's really applicable to the workplace environment.  Just recently finished reading all of it and still think it's applicable to work, AND any other kind of relationships you might have...<br/><br/>I'm just now revisiting my review of this book...and...<a href="http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3477418">more...</a>]]></body>
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3477418]]></url>
</review>
    <review id="49559058">
    <user id="1348540">
    <name><![CDATA[Charlie]]></name>
    <location><![CDATA[Nailsworth, The United Kingdom]]></location>        
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/1348540-charlie]]></url>
  </user>
      <rating>5</rating>
  <votes>0</votes>
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  <recommended_for><![CDATA[]]></recommended_for>
  <recommended_by><![CDATA[]]></recommended_by>
  <read_at>Fri Jan 01 00:00:00 -0800 1993</read_at>
  <date_added>Tue Mar 17 09:42:45 -0700 2009</date_added>
  <date_updated>Tue Mar 17 09:46:04 -0700 2009</date_updated>
  <read_count></read_count>
    <body><![CDATA[This is a book about how people communicate and how, even when using the same language, different people read very different things into a conversation.   It had a big effect on me as I had never realised there was quite so many layers to the topic.  It is quite readable - not a dry textbook - and v...<a href="http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/49559058">more...</a>]]></body>
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/49559058]]></url>
</review>
    <review id="53471951">
    <user id="872942">
    <name><![CDATA[Kelly ]]></name>
    <location><![CDATA[Marlborough, NH]]></location>        
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/872942-kelly]]></url>
  </user>
      <rating>3</rating>
  <votes>0</votes>
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  <recommended_for><![CDATA[]]></recommended_for>
  <recommended_by><![CDATA[]]></recommended_by>
  <read_at></read_at>
  <date_added>Tue Apr 21 10:01:47 -0700 2009</date_added>
  <date_updated>Tue Apr 21 10:03:14 -0700 2009</date_updated>
  <read_count></read_count>
    <body><![CDATA[This is the third Tannen book about conversation that I have read. You'd think that it would be boring by now - how much can she say about this anyway? It's just the opposite actually. The more I read her work, the more I take note of what I say and how I say it and how others speak as well. ]]></body>
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/53471951]]></url>
</review>
    <review id="62174403">
    <user id="915317">
    <name><![CDATA[Elizabeth]]></name>
    <location><![CDATA[The United States]]></location>        
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/915317-elizabeth]]></url>
  </user>
      <rating>2</rating>
  <votes>0</votes>
  <sell_flag>false</sell_flag>
  <spoiler_flag>false</spoiler_flag>
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      </shelves>
  <recommended_for><![CDATA[]]></recommended_for>
  <recommended_by><![CDATA[]]></recommended_by>
  <read_at>Sat Jul 04 00:00:00 -0700 2009</read_at>
  <date_added>Sat Jul 04 21:27:09 -0700 2009</date_added>
  <date_updated>Sat Jul 04 21:28:47 -0700 2009</date_updated>
  <read_count></read_count>
    <body><![CDATA[A little dated at this point, but with interesting points about how and why communication within personal relationships can become toxic over time.  I wish she'd taken more examples from real life, and fewer from fiction. ]]></body>
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/62174403]]></url>
</review>
    <review id="50279536">
    <user id="2157331">
    <name><![CDATA[Ashley]]></name>
    <location><![CDATA[New Orleans, LA]]></location>        
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/2157331-ashley]]></url>
  </user>
      <rating>0</rating>
  <votes>0</votes>
  <sell_flag>false</sell_flag>
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      </shelves>
  <recommended_for><![CDATA[]]></recommended_for>
  <recommended_by><![CDATA[]]></recommended_by>
  <read_at>Sat Jan 01 00:00:00 -0800 2005</read_at>
  <date_added>Tue Mar 24 08:00:15 -0700 2009</date_added>
  <date_updated>Tue Mar 24 08:01:42 -0700 2009</date_updated>
  <read_count></read_count>
    <body><![CDATA[It was a while back that I read this book, but very interesting read for the purpose of learning verbal posture and how people couch meaning in everything.]]></body>
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/50279536]]></url>
</review>
    <review id="63186990">
    <user id="1492430">
    <name><![CDATA[Julie H.]]></name>
    <location><![CDATA[Natchitoches, LA]]></location>        
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/1492430-julie-h]]></url>
  </user>
      <rating>4</rating>
  <votes>0</votes>
  <sell_flag>false</sell_flag>
  <spoiler_flag>false</spoiler_flag>
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  <recommended_for><![CDATA[]]></recommended_for>
  <recommended_by><![CDATA[]]></recommended_by>
  <read_at></read_at>
  <date_added>Sun Jul 12 15:11:37 -0700 2009</date_added>
  <date_updated>Sun Jul 12 15:12:34 -0700 2009</date_updated>
  <read_count></read_count>
    <body><![CDATA[This book by famed sociolinguist Deborah Tannen considers how many linguistic misfires occur as a result of clashing conversational styles.  A must-read!]]></body>
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/63186990]]></url>
</review>
    <review id="41841673">
    <user id="394762">
    <name><![CDATA[Suzanne]]></name>
    <location><![CDATA[Scappoose, OR]]></location>        
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/394762-suzanne-moodhe]]></url>
  </user>
      <rating>3</rating>
  <votes>0</votes>
  <sell_flag>false</sell_flag>
  <spoiler_flag>false</spoiler_flag>
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      </shelves>
  <recommended_for><![CDATA[]]></recommended_for>
  <recommended_by><![CDATA[]]></recommended_by>
  <read_at></read_at>
  <date_added>Sun Jan 04 10:27:09 -0800 2009</date_added>
  <date_updated>Sun Jan 04 10:28:24 -0800 2009</date_updated>
  <read_count></read_count>
    <body><![CDATA[A bit simplified but easy to read - Deborah analyses how we communicate with one another - how we fail or achieve what we meant to get across.  ]]></body>
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/41841673]]></url>
</review>
    <review id="64674597">
    <user id="2549713">
    <name><![CDATA[Brittany]]></name>
    <location><![CDATA[Tucson, AZ]]></location>        
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/2549713-brittany]]></url>
  </user>
      <rating>5</rating>
  <votes>0</votes>
  <sell_flag>false</sell_flag>
  <spoiler_flag>false</spoiler_flag>
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      </shelves>
  <recommended_for><![CDATA[]]></recommended_for>
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  <read_at></read_at>
  <date_added>Thu Jul 23 12:20:27 -0700 2009</date_added>
  <date_updated>Thu Jul 23 12:25:04 -0700 2009</date_updated>
  <read_count></read_count>
    <body><![CDATA[I actually had to read it for a class, but of course the linguist in me loved it!  Anyone fascinated with linguistics/communication should read it]]></body>
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/64674597]]></url>
</review>
    <review id="56059895">
    <user id="2317280">
    <name><![CDATA[Matt]]></name>
    <location><![CDATA[Austin, TX]]></location>        
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/2317280-matt-perrone]]></url>
  </user>
      <rating>4</rating>
  <votes>0</votes>
  <sell_flag>false</sell_flag>
  <spoiler_flag>false</spoiler_flag>
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      </shelves>
  <recommended_for><![CDATA[]]></recommended_for>
  <recommended_by><![CDATA[]]></recommended_by>
  <read_at>Sun Nov 30 00:00:00 -0800 2008</read_at>
  <date_added>Thu May 14 09:33:33 -0700 2009</date_added>
  <date_updated>Thu May 14 09:35:10 -0700 2009</date_updated>
  <read_count></read_count>
    <body><![CDATA[Another college book I actually enjoyed. This goes under the list of books that engaged couples should read before they get married.]]></body>
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/56059895]]></url>
</review>
    <review id="57262220">
    <user id="383922">
    <name><![CDATA[jolszko]]></name>
    <location><![CDATA[The United States]]></location>        
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/383922-jolszko]]></url>
  </user>
      <rating>0</rating>
  <votes>0</votes>
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  <recommended_for><![CDATA[]]></recommended_for>
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  <read_at></read_at>
  <date_added>Mon May 25 11:11:19 -0700 2009</date_added>
  <date_updated>Mon May 25 11:12:02 -0700 2009</date_updated>
  <read_count></read_count>
    <body><![CDATA[Deborah Tannen again on communication. Good read for understanding co-worker's and how to get along.]]></body>
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/57262220]]></url>
</review>
    <review id="12295526">
    <user id="81380">
    <name><![CDATA[Kim]]></name>
    <location><![CDATA[El Cerrito, CA]]></location>        
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/81380-kim]]></url>
  </user>
      <rating>4</rating>
  <votes>0</votes>
  <sell_flag>false</sell_flag>
  <spoiler_flag>false</spoiler_flag>
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        <shelf name="general-non-fiction" />
      </shelves>
  <recommended_for><![CDATA[everyone who communicates]]></recommended_for>
  <recommended_by><![CDATA[my work supervisor]]></recommended_by>
  <read_at></read_at>
  <date_added>Fri Jan 11 19:24:43 -0800 2008</date_added>
  <date_updated>Sun Jan 13 10:37:29 -0800 2008</date_updated>
  <read_count></read_count>
    <body><![CDATA[This is an excellent, accessible yet intelligent discussion of communication styles and how these differences can often lead to disconnects, misunderstandings, or even hateful spats. The author is a linguistics professor who knows what's up and gives very clear examples of what makes up our communic...<a href="http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/12295526">more...</a>]]></body>
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/12295526]]></url>
</review>
    <review id="16768079">
    <user id="579064">
    <name><![CDATA[Sarah]]></name>
    <location><![CDATA[Madison, WI]]></location>        
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/579064-sarah]]></url>
  </user>
      <rating>3</rating>
  <votes>0</votes>
  <sell_flag>false</sell_flag>
  <spoiler_flag>false</spoiler_flag>
  <shelves>
      </shelves>
  <recommended_for><![CDATA[]]></recommended_for>
  <recommended_by><![CDATA[]]></recommended_by>
  <read_at>Sun Nov 01 00:00:00 -0700 2009</read_at>
  <date_added>Sat Mar 01 09:46:49 -0800 2008</date_added>
  <date_updated>Sun Nov 15 15:00:50 -0800 2009</date_updated>
  <read_count></read_count>
    <body><![CDATA[This book suggested that everyone has different speaking styles, but it seemed to keep using the same two over and over - the interrupter and the person who waits a long time to start speaking. It definitely gets the message across, though, that you should pay attention to how others interact with y...<a href="http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/16768079">more...</a>]]></body>
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/16768079]]></url>
</review>
    <review id="49779544">
    <user id="2131722">
    <name><![CDATA[Kevin]]></name>
    <location><![CDATA[Orlando, FL]]></location>        
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/2131722-kevin]]></url>
  </user>
      <rating>5</rating>
  <votes>0</votes>
  <sell_flag>false</sell_flag>
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  <recommended_for><![CDATA[]]></recommended_for>
  <recommended_by><![CDATA[]]></recommended_by>
  <read_at>Sat Oct 10 00:00:00 -0700 2009</read_at>
  <date_added>Thu Mar 19 11:03:07 -0700 2009</date_added>
  <date_updated>Tue Oct 20 18:52:26 -0700 2009</date_updated>
  <read_count></read_count>
    <body><![CDATA[A great compliment to her other book, He Said, She Said. Discusses in great detail the different conversational styles that exist with different people, genders, cultures, ages, etc. Helps one to spot areas and reasons for communication problems which, once identified, can be worked on to be correct...<a href="http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/49779544">more...</a>]]></body>
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/49779544]]></url>
</review>
    <review id="19623856">
    <user id="1015500">
    <name><![CDATA[Lydia]]></name>
    <location><![CDATA[The United States]]></location>        
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/1015500-lydia]]></url>
  </user>
      <rating>4</rating>
  <votes>0</votes>
  <sell_flag>false</sell_flag>
  <spoiler_flag>false</spoiler_flag>
  <shelves>
      </shelves>
  <recommended_for><![CDATA[]]></recommended_for>
  <recommended_by><![CDATA[]]></recommended_by>
  <read_at>Tue Apr 01 00:00:00 -0700 2008</read_at>
  <date_added>Mon Apr 07 00:55:49 -0700 2008</date_added>
  <date_updated>Mon Apr 07 01:03:16 -0700 2008</date_updated>
  <read_count></read_count>
    <body><![CDATA[This is a book I have been picking up and putting down. It has some interesting thoughts on how we communicate.  It has helped me to really say what I mean to say. It can get a bit dry in places but it has been worth going through for the light bulbs that have been going on for me.   ]]></body>
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/19623856]]></url>
</review>
    <review id="8304031">
    <user id="578329">
    <name><![CDATA[Luz]]></name>
    <location><![CDATA[Ann Arbor, MI]]></location>        
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/578329-luz-adriana]]></url>
  </user>
      <rating>5</rating>
  <votes>0</votes>
  <sell_flag>false</sell_flag>
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      </shelves>
  <recommended_for><![CDATA[]]></recommended_for>
  <recommended_by><![CDATA[]]></recommended_by>
  <read_at></read_at>
  <date_added>Fri Oct 26 22:28:25 -0700 2007</date_added>
  <date_updated>Fri Oct 26 22:29:52 -0700 2007</date_updated>
  <read_count></read_count>
    <body><![CDATA[fascinating... I found it particularly relevant since I am from Mexico and I did notice how different the conversation styles are in the U.S. AND how different it is from the conversational style of foreigners I've met at the university.<br/>Makes the reader more aware of cultural differences...]]></body>
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/8304031]]></url>
</review>
    <review id="11930210">
    <user id="755130">
    <name><![CDATA[Ginny]]></name>
    <location><![CDATA[The United States]]></location>        
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/755130-ginny]]></url>
  </user>
      <rating>0</rating>
  <votes>0</votes>
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  <recommended_for><![CDATA[]]></recommended_for>
  <recommended_by><![CDATA[]]></recommended_by>
  <read_at></read_at>
  <date_added>Mon Jan 07 19:26:06 -0800 2008</date_added>
  <date_updated>Wed Jan 09 18:56:56 -0800 2008</date_updated>
  <read_count></read_count>
    <body><![CDATA[dead on insights into the unintended consequences of different conversations styles.  the example conversations are uncomfortably familiar, but hilarious.  this book reveals the traps that we so easily talk our way into.  this is a book i'll keep coming back to for a refresher.]]></body>
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/11930210]]></url>
</review>
    <review id="2238697">
    <user id="142816">
    <name><![CDATA[Chantel]]></name>
    <location><![CDATA[The United States]]></location>        
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/142816-chantel]]></url>
  </user>
      <rating>3</rating>
  <votes>0</votes>
  <sell_flag>false</sell_flag>
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  <recommended_for><![CDATA[folks hoping to improve communication skills]]></recommended_for>
  <recommended_by><![CDATA[]]></recommended_by>
  <read_at></read_at>
  <date_added>Thu Jun 21 21:51:45 -0700 2007</date_added>
  <date_updated>Thu Jun 21 21:51:45 -0700 2007</date_updated>
  <read_count></read_count>
    <body><![CDATA[I think I first read this book while taking a linguistics class in college.  It did a good job illuminating different communication styles.  I think it is a useful tool for ordianary people who want to improve communication with the their friends, loved ones, and business associates.]]></body>
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2238697]]></url>
</review>
    <review id="2303132">
    <user id="123370">
    <name><![CDATA[Jennifer]]></name>
    <location><![CDATA[Oakland, CA]]></location>        
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/123370-jennifer]]></url>
  </user>
      <rating>3</rating>
  <votes>0</votes>
  <sell_flag>false</sell_flag>
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  <recommended_for><![CDATA[]]></recommended_for>
  <recommended_by><![CDATA[]]></recommended_by>
  <read_at>Fri Jun 01 00:00:00 -0700 2007</read_at>
  <date_added>Sat Jun 23 12:31:30 -0700 2007</date_added>
  <date_updated>Wed Jul 11 18:06:52 -0700 2007</date_updated>
  <read_count></read_count>
    <body><![CDATA[no stunning revelations.  the book does piece apart interesting differences in the way especially men and women communicate, but offers no solutions beyond awareness.  are our metamessages just destined to be crossed!  how the heck do men and women even get along?]]></body>
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2303132]]></url>
</review>
    <review id="15599812">
    <user id="909939">
    <name><![CDATA[Brian]]></name>
    <location><![CDATA[Stephens City, VA]]></location>        
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/909939-brian-sison]]></url>
  </user>
      <rating>4</rating>
  <votes>0</votes>
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  <recommended_for><![CDATA[]]></recommended_for>
  <recommended_by><![CDATA[]]></recommended_by>
  <read_at>Tue Aug 27 00:00:00 -0700 2002</read_at>
  <date_added>Sat Feb 16 19:24:33 -0800 2008</date_added>
  <date_updated>Sat Feb 16 19:28:48 -0800 2008</date_updated>
  <read_count></read_count>
    <body><![CDATA[A great look into how we communicate not only with what we say, but in how we say it.  It highlights the differences between men and women, northerners and southerners, etc, as well as how to recognize and compensate for these differences.  ]]></body>
    <url><![CDATA[http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/15599812]]></url>
</review>
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